How to be a mermaid or merman?

[Merman Dylan]

It is my opinion that if you have a connection to the sea in your heart and sense of belonging in the water you are a mermaid or merman regardless of whether or not you have a tail or are a professional.

To me, the answer to this question is: if you are a mermaid or merman than the way you be a merman or mermaid is being yourself. You don't need a book or instruction manual because if what you are is a mermaid or merman then there isn't a special standard you need to meet to be one. All you need to do is be yourself because that's being a mermaid or merman if you are one.

I'm curious about what others think.

[AniaR]

I wrote 3 books because people were interested in the actual specifics of the community. eg where to find tails, how to use them, run a business etc.

I think there are many different ways that are all legitimate to be a merfolk. Some people are professionals, some people are recreational, for some it's a lifestyle, others a job. No one can really tell you that you are or you arent.

[Merman Dylan]

I wrote 3 books because people were interested in the actual specifics of the community. eg where to find tails, how to use them, run a business etc.

I think there are many different ways that are all legitimate to be a merfolk. Some people are professionals, some people are recreational, for some it's a lifestyle, others a job. No one can really tell you that you are or you arent.

First of all, I never mentioned your books. Second of all, I never said what people are or not. I said that if you are a mermaid or merman it is my belief that being yourself is how to be a mermaid or merman and that's as specific as it needs to be for How to be a mermaid or merman because if you already are a merman or mermaid you just need to be yourself to be that.

Also, I'm not saying your books aren't good resources, but I'm also saying they do NOT set any standards either because who we are is being a merman or mermaid and not words on a page from anywhere or any source. Certainly the knowledge on where to get your tail and how to be professional in a business setting are great for anyone that is looking for tips. You have made great success and anyone wanting to follow in your steps to learn how to run a successful business would benefit greatly from your books. However, it is my belief that who we are makes us merfolk no matter the reason for being a mermaid or merman. I believe this because I grew up with a strong desire to be a merman, and I know now that I was always a merman. I didn't have a tail growing up, and I wasn't in the public eye. Honestly, until recently, no one even knew about this with me. I don't know the history of this community because I didn't know it existed until recently. I just have my personal experiences coming into this community.

In my opinion based on my experience growing up, the thing that made me a merman was always my connection to the sea, the connection I felt. For others, it could be different, but that doesn't mean my experiences make me more of a mer than someone else. I'm not even trying to tell others what they are or aren't, and I believe you greatly missed my point making that statement. The way in which we embrace our merselves is important, but that doesn't make anyone any less of a mer for choosing a different path from another. Professional, recreational, lifestyle, or job are all paths to being mers and neither one is wrong. However, there are merfolk without tails, merfolk without certain brands of tails, and merfolk that haven't read your book that choose their own path based on their own beliefs that are still mermaids and mermen. Merfolk are the people of the sea. Everyone has their own way to being who they are and there are NO standards that define the path a person takes to become who they are.

Simply put, no matter the path, no matter the reason, no matter if you have a tail or not, no matter where your tail comes from, and regardless of what a book or manual says, you are a merman or mermaid and being yourself is all you need to be that.

[SirenAngel]

Yeah I think it's just having a love for the ocean and mermaids. I mean, going pro is another thing, but just being a mermaid is loving it. Same thing with any kind of art or fandom. If you say you are, you are.

[Nykur]

First of all, I never mentioned your books. Second of all, I never said what people are or not.

I think you might have just misunderstood what AniaR meant with her statement Merman Dylan. Yes I do support your opinion of being a merman or mermaid. I too grew up with a strong desire of being part of the sea although I never had a tail or permanent access to a beach.
I think what AniaR meant was that she wrote these books for people from all walks of life (be that a person recently discovering their love for merfolk or someone like you, Merman Dylan, that grew up knowing you have that bond to merfolk) to further embrace this calling and to aid them in whichever direction it is they wish to move be it pro or merely recreational or even a lifestyle like mine!

Her books does not confine you to be a specific mer, they are to aid you and help you out, rather than struggling on your own with something like not knowing how to properly swim in a tail (for those whom never done it before and learn even pros a trick or two extra!) or not having a clue what the difference is in latex or silicone (yes, there are quite a few people that never work with these materials and would like to know the pros and cons of each.) Thats where AniaR's book is so valuable to the mer community!
I hope this makes sense..

[Merman Dylan]

Let me start by saying that swimming like a mermaid or merman is better learned in a swim class. The reason I'm good at swimming is because I understand that swimming with a tail essentially involves the Dolphin Kick which by its very nature of difficulty requires a lot of practice to do it. Instead of asking other merfolk how to swim like a mermaid, you should ask the people who use the Dolphin Kick which aren't necessarily mermaids or mermen. So the key to swimming like a mermaid or a merman first off and most importantly is not and never ideally will be in a book to read. A book won't teach you to swim like a mermaid or merman, but it can tell you the terms to look for, but if you ask any merfolk with a history in competitive swimming they will tell you what to look for and where to look. As one such merman I will tell that if you seriously want to swim like a mermaid or merman you need to put down the book, look up tutorials from swimmers and free divers and practice without fins to get the rhythm. That is paramount to developing the technique. Raina's book can give you the terminology, but it will never be the same as watching an actual expert or someone that knows what they are doing and applying their instruction. I am competent in the water and know what I'm talking about through years of experience which can be exactly what it takes to get it.

Also, I don't think a how to book will further anyone into getting more in touch with their merself. I believe that's something best done by seeking out the places that make you feel more connected whatever they may be. Once you know what you are. The best thing you can do is seek out the places that make you feel that way the strongest. I'd imagine that anyone who feels inside they are a mermaid or merman has a natural love and attachment to the sea because merfolk are an icon of the ocean. They are strongly tied together.

Also, I have had the good fortune of spending a lot of time close to the ocean, but the reality is that I don't have permanent access or unlimited access. I seek out the beach which is probably why I've spent so much time there, but I can't go any time I like. Most of the time of I've spent at the beach was visiting family at the family condo when we were given access to it by our grandparents. My time in the keys was a fortunate experience too. It could have easily never gone, but the circumstances made it possible. In all honesty, when it comes to going anywhere and seeing anything it has a lot to do with luck, timing, and circumstance, but the thing that makes it possible is the desire to seek it out.

So now, here's what I think a book is good for to share my opinion. The difference between latex and silicone, the fact that neoprene and neoprin are community named terms for wetsuit materials which is essentially what they are. In fact, in way, I think the names are a good idea because it establishes a difference in the materials, but I'm sure there is a vast variety of different materials wet suits are made of. A book with that information would be very helpful. Also, the business aspects of being successful entertainer is helpful. I'm sure there are permits, insurance, and other details which would be great to know, but that's not how to be a mermaid or merman, It's how to be a professional mermaid or merman which is different. I'm not saying that makes professional mers less of a mer because that wouldn't be true. I'm saying that running a business is a different set of circumstances which in of themselves aren't defined into one thing. Professional mers can be merfolk, but part of me feels like the thing that makes someone a merman or mermaid occurs outside of a business setting. I can't say exactly what, but I feel like there is a disconnect of sorts. However, that could just be a personal feeling I feel about it.

Like I said before, "Simply put, no matter the path, no matter the reason, no matter if you have a tail or not, no matter where your tail comes from, and regardless of what a book or manual says, you are a merman or mermaid and being yourself is all you need to be that."

I mean, I could get into details about what I personally feel about things or argue the details of a book or something, but this statements is essentially what it takes to be a mermaid or merman. Now, as far as swimming like a mermaid or merman or getting closer to your merself. I would suggest going to club swimming or a trip to the beach or something like it if you can. In fact, there are tutorials on youtube about what to do, and there are aquariums, lakes, rivers, and bodies of water that make up most of the planet. The Earth is 70% water.

And before you try to argue that swimming with a tail is different from how you swim the dolphin kick without one, it honestly isn't any different at all. I know from my time on the swim team without my tail and my time swimming with a tail. I would find it hard to argue against that kind of experience.

[Merman Dylan]

With that aside, I think this could be a good place for people to talk about how they get closer to their merself or give tips for swimming.

[Merman Dylan]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D9b6LNBbHL0

I think this video will help.

[Merman Dylan]

Since the path to being a mermaid or merman is so specific to the individual. We can share what makes us feel closer to our merselves and maybe inspire things in each other or give each other ideas about the places to see. There aren't any restrictions on the actions that make us merfolk. Professional, lifestyle, or anything else, I want us to think about the things we thought of for ourselves that made feel closer to our merselves. Exclude what you read or heard and think for yourself about what makes you feel closer to being a merman or mermaid because being yourself and only you defines what a mermaid or merman is and how to be that.

[AniaR]

Also, I don't think a how to book will further anyone into getting more in touch with their merself.

you should read my books before forming an opinion all 3 of my books and my blogs and vlogs are about getting in touch with yourself

And yes you certainly took my comment totally the wrong way. That's too bad.

or someone that knows what they are doing and applying their instruction

so I don't know what I'm doing? huh... (you know I teach mermaid swim school...?)

And before you try to argue that swimming with a tail is different from how you swim the dolphin kick without one, it honestly isn't any different at all.

Well you know, I did this whole entire published study on it with engineers... what could I possibly know about how tails make us swim differently you have to remember that just because you have a certain experience, doesn't mean it applies to all people (or all tails) You should check out the thread I did on our study where I posted some of the results and behind the scenes videos of the engineers and scientists doing the tests and measurements.

With that aside, I think this could be a good place for people to talk about how they get closer to their merself or give tips for swimming.

I think it can be if you don't jump to conclusions and write page long arguments about things people haven't brought up...

[Misty Lau]

I believe that everyone is in agreement with you here, Merman Dylan. It does not appear that anyone is arguing with your thoughts about it or your experience.

Also, thank you for sticking up for yourself Raina. You aren't arguing, you're just clarifying what you said, and adding in facts about yourself and what you've done.

[MermaidCelesteFL]

Okay, my two cents on this:

-Anybody can be a mer, even if they don't swim, don't have a tail, and don't have a business. There is no one right or wrong way to be a mer. Plain and simple.

-"Experience" is both circumstantial and subjective. Both Alec and Stephanie here have experience, just different types of experience. Alec has been on a swim team for many years, and is a VERY experienced and talented swimmer. He is a natural in his tail. However, he doesn't have an award winning company nor several books on the topic. That doesn't discount him from stating his opinion on tail swimming, just because his experience comes from elsewhere.

-Understand that Stephanie's books are meant to help and guide people who want the help and guidance. If you feel that you don't need any of that, don't buy the books. Her books are based off of personal experience, and one person's experience is not the same as the next. Stephanie is not the same person as Melissa, Linden, or Hannah- all whom have different stories about how they got to where they are now. I'm sure if they wrote books on their experiences, they would be vastly different.

-Misinformation should be pointed out the moment it comes to light, not preached, and certainly not taught. This goes for both sides. But hey, that's just an opinion.

-We are trying to create a completely inclusive environment. Understand that NO ONE MER IS BETTER THAN ANOTHER FOR ANY REASON. This topic was to discuss the varieties in meanings behind being a mer- as a generality- not necessarily in a professional sense. No amount of contradictive arguing and book shilling is going to going to change peoples' perceptions on what it means to them to be a mer.

Also, both Alec and Stephanie are adept at making long-winded answers for simplistic questions. And both can probably go on forever when it comes to arguing. IT STOPS HERE.

*gently puts mic back into stand, because mics are expensive and should never be dropped.*

[AniaR]

No one anywhere was arguing with Dylan's perspective on who can be a merfolk. I literally only said, "think there are many different ways that are all legitimate to be a merfolk. Some people are professionals, some people are recreational, for some it's a lifestyle, others a job. No one can really tell you that you are or you arent." which is 100% in line with what he said, and certainly not deserving of multiple criticisms of me or my business. (also wasn't long-winded, thanks) Really just seems like you're both twisting my post around to mean what you want in a passive aggressive baiting attempt- which appears to be a theme lately.

Also, I choose to not use my real name online for a reason (an abusive parent who I try to avoid and a stalker ex boyfriend), I am not sure why you decided to call both Dylan and I by anything other than our mers/usernames but I'd appreciate if you didn't do that again. I'm not sure why you'd choose to do that to begin with, but for me it's a matter of personal safety. I do not use my full real name on facebook, and I don't allow media to publish it either (though they don't always listen) It's fairly standard and common courtesy in our community to call people by their mer name.

[Venessa Louisiana Mermaid]

Dylan is having another "episode" and Ariel is trying to shut down a thread she didn't even start. LOL....haven't been on here in ages but I see I haven't missed much.

[Merman Dylan]

Raina, I'm an author. So I will expand your quotes to provide some clarity as I intended them to be read instead of cherry picking what you can twist.

Also, I don't think a how to book will further anyone into getting more in touch with their merself. I believe that's something best done by seeking out the places that make you feel more connected whatever they may be. Once you know what you are. The best thing you can do is seek out the places that make you feel that way the strongest. I'd imagine that anyone who feels inside they are a mermaid or merman has a natural love and attachment to the sea because merfolk are an icon of the ocean. They are strongly tied together.

You used a quote from this paragraph to say that I'm saying you don't know what you are doing which isn't entirely the truth if you get the full meaning from the full paragraph.

You advertised your vlogs and products to get closer to your merself which I assume costs money instead of sharing your opinion on the matter. This entire paragraph is my opinion on what I think. It's an opinion. I'm not saying it's fact. I'm not saying it's the only way. However, why are you pushing for a product to sell in thread created for the purpose of sharing our experiences and the paths we took. I don't think directing people to your vlogs or books actually contributes much to the thread.

Let me start by saying that swimming like a mermaid or merman is better learned in a swim class. The reason I'm good at swimming is because I understand that swimming with a tail essentially involves the Dolphin Kick which by its very nature of difficulty requires a lot of practice to do it. Instead of asking other merfolk how to swim like a mermaid, you should ask the people who use the Dolphin Kick which aren't necessarily mermaids or mermen. So the key to swimming like a mermaid or a merman first off and most importantly is not and never ideally will be in a book to read. A book won't teach you to swim like a mermaid or merman, but it can tell you the terms to look for, but if you ask any merfolk with a history in competitive swimming they will tell you what to look for and where to look. As one such merman I will tell that if you seriously want to swim like a mermaid or merman you need to put down the book, look up tutorials from swimmers and free divers and practice without fins to get the rhythm. That is paramount to developing the technique. Raina's book can give you the terminology, but it will never be the same as watching an actual expert or someone that knows what they are doing and applying their instruction. I am competent in the water and know what I'm talking about through years of experience which can be exactly what it takes to get it.

The thing is that you can teach people how to swim and still be a bad teacher. It's pretty common among swim teams to have coaches that are better at teaching the technique of swimming and those that can't. As far as working with kids and being a teacher, you could be great, and I have no doubt that you probably are. However, you can still teach stuff wrong, especially if you can't accept a differing view or experience. I do believe that the people best equipped for teaching people how to swim with a tail are swimmers and specifically, free divers. The dolphin kick is the kick you need to swim with. Maybe instead of propping up your experience over mine you can consider what I say to improve.

Also...

Well you know, I did this whole entire published study on it with engineers... what could I possibly know about how tails make us swim differently you have to remember that just because you have a certain experience, doesn't mean it applies to all people (or all tails) You should check out the thread I did on our study where I posted some of the results and behind the scenes videos of the engineers and scientists doing the tests and measurements.

That was your quote to a fragment of this as a whole.

And before you try to argue that swimming with a tail is different from how you swim the dolphin kick without one, it honestly isn't any different at all. I know from my time on the swim team without my tail and my time swimming with a tail. I would find it hard to argue against that kind of experience.

You see, I'm not just saying it's different just because. I said it because my specialty in swimming was underwater Dolphin Kicks, and I have experience swimming with a tail. The mechanics aren't that different. I think I swim with a tail so well because I've had a lot of experience swimming Dolphin Kick without one.

you should read my books before forming an opinion all 3 of my books and my blogs and vlogs are about getting in touch with yourself

And yes you certainly took my comment totally the wrong way. That's too bad.

You could have a million achievements to list, and I will never be more impressed than I would be seeing someone with one achievement.

I think it can be if you don't jump to conclusions and write page long arguments about things people haven't brought up...

I think if you don't jump to conclusions about what I'm trying to say and stop making it about you. I think you might see that I'm not sharing this information with the intent on targeting you, but I'm sharing it so others can see it and make their own decisions. I do believe there is a possibility that despite your fame, reputation, achievements, and reputation that you might actually have a few things wrong. If sharing an alternative bothers you this much you might want to consider why.

Besides, I created this thread for people to share their path to getting closer to their merself, to share swimming tips, and to share experiences without someone bashing them. No path is wrong. You aren't wrong if what you do works, but don't be so quick to dismiss a better alternative just because I don't show off all my achievements and accomplishments. For all you know, I might have way more achievements, accomplishments, and experiences than you could possibly be aware of simply because I don't show them off. Beware of your own judgment when it comes to questioning my experiences.

With that hopefully bringing this to a stop for the argument, I would like us to go back to the topic at hand which are swimming tips, experiences, and the things that make us feel closer to our merself which is the reason why I created this thread in the first place. Any more arguing and fighting can go to threads designated for well Bi+ching it Out.

Raina, if you would like to PM me, I will do my best to reply and we can discuss it in private if that's what you want to do. I think we can all agree that fighting anymore like this is just a headache. I will do my best to work things out with you in my own time when you PM me, but do not expect me to PM you because I feel no need or obligation to. I created this thread to be a helpful resource on a sight we often refer people to. Please respect my wish for the fighting to stop here, so we can continue to discuss the topics intended for this thread.

Thank you.

[Merman Dylan]

Thank you Ariel,

you are exactly right.

[Merman Dylan]

Dylan is having another "episode" and Ariel is trying to shut down a thread she didn't even start. LOL....haven't been on here in ages but I see I haven't missed much.

It's quite possible I could have come across and may still come across more negative than intended do to mild serotonin syndrome. I have made corrections with my meds, and I apologize for my negativity. Arguing is not the purpose of this thread.

[Misty Lau]

Honestly, I didn't feel at all that AniaR was trying to sell her books on here, I thought that she was simply listing things that she truly believed would help mers get in touch with themselves and help them with other things as well. I don't believe she argued, I think she was just trying to defend herself, like anyone SHOULD do if they feel attacked.

People tend to feel attacked when other people's opinions are given to them so thoroughly like Merman Dylan's opinion was.

Honestly, I think this has a lot to do with being a merman or mermaid. Whatever else it means to someone, I think it always associates with confidence. AniaR and Merman Dylan were both very confident in what they said. I personally associate being a mer with confidence, strength, beauty, and a bunch of other things.

[Merman Dylan]

Confidence is absolutely an important part of things, and it's my belief that true confidence comes from what you discover for yourself.

For me, my confidence in what I say comes from the fact that I've done what I say. My specialty in swimming was underwater swimming. Stream line for backstroke and butterfly involve the dolphin kick. I'm very familiar with the mechanics and it took me years of thousands of yards of swimming the dolphin kick to get good at it. I KNOW it's not easy to do. As a merman, I've had lots of time to swim with a silicone tail and fabric tail, and I have found that the kick is identical. There may be a difference in the frequency of kicks, and it's to be expected that a monofin will reduce the work it takes to swim. However, the fundamentals are the same. I'm telling you this because of what I've experienced based on what I've done.

Also...

I choose to believe that Raina shared her books to help direct people to a resource. My only problem with that is that she's directing people away from this thread instead of going into the specific content of what she's directing people too. Still, I can recognize that her books may be a valid reply despite the lack of details I would hope for.

[Merman Dylan]

Anyways, instead of continuing this argument, I will start with some of my own experiences to offer.

For one thing, the thing that makes me feel the closest to my merself is when I'm in the water. It doesn't matter if it's the springs, the ocean, the pool, or the bath tub. I just feel so much more at home and relaxed in the water. I like the way sound travels in the water, and I like the sound of water. Like the rain on the roof or the roar of ocean waves. Those things really help me feel close to the sea. I also seek out new merfolk materiel because the undersea world merfolk live in captures my imagination.

As for swimming tips, I think you guys already know. My advice based on a life time of experience is to really practice the dolphin kick and put the work into it to get really good. I'm positive that if you want to swim in the best possible way this is an excellent place to start.

If I may, what are the things you do to get closer to your merself?