So Dylan was curious about what others think and when he got the first opinion he totally flipped out. Sorry, man, that's the truth.
But I'm here not to protect or attack anyone but to tell my opinion on this matter.
And in my opinion people take this mermaid thing too serious (Not to offend anyone's inner mer..). You either have an amazing hobby or you have a dream job or in some cases a badass business. And you either like doing it or you don't.
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
I'm still curious about what others think. I just...I don't know if I have the words to describe it, but I felt like pointing people in the direction of a book without sharing more details was challenging. I'm actually working very hard to swim away from my initial flip out. I just haven't heard enough details from anyone to make me feel like her books are worth it. Like, I can accept them as a resource, and I could even consider getting them possibly. I just don't recognize Raina as the authority on things that she seems to be. I mean, with the teaching a mermaid school. I think that's awesome, but I have absolutely no way of knowing if she's a good teacher or not. She very well may be, but being a teacher isn't the same as being an expert because there are teachers out there in the world that aren't good teachers. That's not an attack on her. It's the reason why I can't simply accept that response.
Out of curiosity, I would love to know what she teaches at her mermaid school. I actually wish there were mermaid schools in the US. Maybe someone who wants to create there own mermaid school could be reading this thread for ideas. I've suggested practice with the Dolphin Kick, but I have no idea what she teaches to young mermaids and mermen. If possible, we could exchange information in this thread. She knows something she's confident about, and I know something I'm confident about. Just maybe, something good could come out of a discussion if we didn't feel like we were attacking each other. That's why I'm trying to stay positive moving forward.
I named this thread "How to be a Mermaid or Merman?" because I felt like it would be nice to have a thread where we talk about our own paths to being our merselves which isn't wrong. But a major detail for this is, no one is a bigger expert than someone else in this thread. I apologize for my negativity, and I believe I can sometimes come across that way because I'm so passionate about my interests. I'm trying to slow down and be more open to what others say.
Let's try to stick to a discussion here. I will take my own misgivings to another thread to work them out in a way that I don't upset people too much.
Thats the amazing thing about this network, its a MERnetwork, its filled with mermen and mermaids that interact and intertwine, and are passionate about the same thing, merfolk! (whatever subcategory you find most interesting, it falls under the beauty of the merfolk)
For me, what keeps me at the top of my mer-game is my art. I love to incorporate merfolk into my art, its the best thing to draw because each mermaid you draw is totally different and unique!From a tropical mandarin little mermaid, to a colossal deep sea dwelling bioluminescent mercreature.
Its so fascinating for me to see how the mer-community and art community illustrates and represents merfolk! I mean, go check out Jana Heidersdorf's 100 mermaid challenge, its so fascinating! I strongly recommenced mers interested in marine biology and fine arts to go have a look!
I think everyone comes into Mermaiding for different reasons. Some just want to socialize with like minded people and have fun, others want to turn it into a business. Noone is an expert on anything in life, but some have more experience than others and try to share that. That is what Raina's books are like to me. I purchased the online books and found alot of useful info regarding the business aspect of things, how to market myself. ect. I first came into mermaiding b/c I saw a photo of a Mertailor tail and I wanted one strictly to do a photoshoot. (I am a a professional photographer as well). I started searching mermaid things online and came across this forum. I have always loved the beach and the ocean, and over the course of a year decideded I could incorporate mermaid to my performance stuff ( I am also a professional bellydancer) I wanted to promote myself as a dancer, mermaid, and fire performer. Everyone has to figure out what they want from it and go on their own path.
Last edited by shimmygoddess; 12-12-2016 at 01:18 PM. Reason: spelling mistakes
And that's why I tried to say her books could be great for professional mers. I think for this thread. the reply was too vague. Shimmygoddess, you gave the reply I hoped Raina would give. As far as the merfolk who have been in the community a long time is concerned, your advice is great, and I think actively trying to mentor the younger mers would be helpful. I've only been in the mercommunity for 2 years, but I have the experience from 22 years of living I bring with me. There's things within the community that I'm still learning, but I just don't think it would be wise to try and discredit my experience because I have an entire lifetime of it. I guess I got upset because I felt like she was trying to either discredit me or not give me the time to post a detailed post because I'm new to the community.
Dylan I reread this thread so many times that I do think you took Raina's comment to your post out of context. She was basically agreeing with you when she said "nobody can tell you if you are or are not." And as for mentioning her books I believe she was just giving reasoning why she made them in the first place. It wasn't to discredit you in anyway. Just explaining why she wrote them. It wasn't a plug in for people to buy her books. She has other threads for that. If you don't wanna buy, don't buy. It's fine if you don't think it'll help you. You seem like you have your own thing figured out and have a system that works for you and that's all that matters.
At the end of all this I think we're all in agreement that there isn't really a set way to be a mer and there there is no "more correct answer". We're all trying to figure out this shit.
For the record I know mermaid Lexi purchased her book and it helped her a lot so I mean hey :P different strokes for different folks.
For me personally im just doing my own thing recreationally. It wasn't a matter of how do I become a mermaid. I just am.
Last edited by SeaGlass Siren; 12-12-2016 at 03:49 PM.
The SeaGlass Siren
I agree. I think my mind was having a minor melt down. I know I could have handled myself better. Anyways...
One thing I would be interested in reading on this thread is the the experiences of mers without tails. All I have in the way of experience is what I know. I've tried to say that, professionally, Raina's books could be a great resource. Maybe I can't choose a side because I hear it both ways. They are helpful or they aren't. I always get bad when I start getting mixed signals. I mean. I honestly wasn't trying to target Raina starting this thread. I guess I flipped out because I don't know. The topic might be better for the drama bubble, but I've been getting a lot of mixed signals about things in the mercommunity. I actually don't think anyone is entirely wrong or right...I don't know. It's like every time I engage with other merfolk I hear one thing from one group and another thing from another group, and I just want to enjoy being a merman.
As for merfolk in art, we could certainly talk about that and merfolk in books. I want to try and stay away from getting into the publishing part if possible, but if we want to get into it for any mers trying to figure it out, I don't see why we can't offer suggestions. I know a little about it, and someone might know a little more. Personally, I like looking for new merfolk art because I find inspirational, and I commission art because I'm not that talented of an artist. So, I do spend time looking for styles I wouldn't mind seeing my characters drawn in. That's a part of it.
That's the funny thing about opinions. We all get to have them. It's how we respond to the opinions of others that makes the difference. For example, when you say "Let me start by saying that swimming like a mermaid or merman is better learned in a swim class." this is your opinion, not a fact. I learned the dolphin kick by emulating Patrick Duffy in the Man From Atlantis back in the late 70s. Sure, a practical knowledge of swimming is certainly useful but practice makes perfect.
As for me, I keep saltwater aquariums, am scuba certified, have sea critter tattoos, and I run undersea-themed D&D games. I have loved the sea since I was a child. I found MerNetwork when I was googling around for new players for my game. By that point I was already swimming as a merman in Second Life, so it took a grand total of two weeks after finding MN before I ordered my first tail!
(Formerly known as Æolius)
UNIQUE MER STORY ALERT
I am a mer without a tail currently, Merman Dylan. My mer story sort of started with watching H2O, actually. I'm still very young, only 15, but I saw it as graceful and beautiful. I'd never been good at swimming, learning to doggypaddle at probably five or six, and not in a swim class, but on my own. I had to connect with the water and my body on my own, and it wasn't something that could be taught to me. After watching the H2O girls swim so gracefully, I decided to give the dolphin kick a try, even though all I had were flippers, separate ones for each foot.
I'd always loved mermaids and the ocean, but I hadn't really devoted my interests and research time to the ocean and mermaiding. I transitioned to researching freshwater fish, and I learned that my poor betta shouldn't be living in a bowl. I dove even deeper, and continue still to be learning about the freshwater side of the aquarium hobby. I was simply drawn in to aquatic life, and wanted to dive in myself.
Diving in was out of the question though, as I'd had horrible experiences with the beach and chlorine pools and tap water.
Then, about a year ago, I saw a silicone tail for the first time. My breath caught in my throat, and I knew instantly who I was. I immediately saw myself in a lionfish inspired tail. No wonder swimming mermaid style was always easier for me. No wonder I felt more of a connection to animals rather than people. The water could silence out the distractions of the world, and being submerged would just be peace. I've also always loved the night, and had been drawn to the moonlight.
I'm currently in my new life journey, as a mermaid- or more of a siren. Only, I don't own a tail of any kind yet. Though I plan on it, I'm still fairly young, and I know I'll have to wait a while for my true tail.
Until then, I will strive to live as my merself. Being a mer without a tail isn't all that different though. As you said, if you are a merman or mermaid, then being one simply means being the best version of yourself, and that is who I always strive to be.
On another note, is there anyone here who is more of a siren than a mermaid? I know I am!
I posted this in the drama thread but it's relevant so I'll post it here. (for those following, some of the points I make are in reply to stuff Dylan said in the other thread as well)
Dylan I really have no issue with you. My very first post was just agreeing with you, while contributing my experience. I am sorry you felt it offensive in any way. I know you are sensitive and have a hard time with that sometimes, and I thank you for apologizing. I thought you were cute as a button when I met you in person. You don't need to think higher of me, I just know you havent read my books so you don't know what's actually IN them is all the stuff you're talking about. it was meant to be validating to you, that yeah, I agree with you- I have even written in my books the same stuff. I don't say my book stuff to put myself above anyone else, I say it because it's just got all this stuff in it and sometimes it's easier for me to refer to it, then write a giant novella of a postIf you want to know my merit and achievements, all the proof is there on my website. The published study we did with the aquatron on mermaid tails and how they move, my two degrees and teaching license, my mermaid school- all this stuff has also been heavily covered in the media. I don't list my credentials usually because people find that arrogant, but I have been around a long time and trailblazed a LOT of the stuff that people do regularly now. I mean I've been around 9 years and on this forum since it started, and I totally devoted myself to writing tutorials back before there were so few mers and people were trying to figure it all out. People take it for granted sometimes but what's normal now was a total secret back then and it was tabboo for me to share so much information.
I think the key thing you need to know about me is that I have devoted my entire career to helping other people become mers. Not necessarily always in a professional sense. Iv'e even given away 3 silicone tails at this point to people so they could become mers. I just want everyone to be able to experience it for whatever reason they chose. I think when it comes to that, you and I are on the same page.
Originally Posted by Misty Lau
Hi mistythere's quite a number of mers who don't have tails but regardless you're still a mer. (Like you I didn't have a tail until 2 years ago and I didn't know how to swim until I was 23!
Like Eric Nova says. It don't matter if you have a tail or not. its what's in your heart! Keep doing you girl
The SeaGlass Siren
What I think I was trying to say with the dolphin kick was that the kick itself is essentially the same, but the kick is astronomically easier with a tail. There is no question in my mind about that. I do believe swim instructors are the ones that know the kick the best if they actually know how to teach the kick. There are instances of swim coaches teaching swimmers the wrong thing. So I think where you learn the kick could be from any different places.That's the funny thing about opinions. We all get to have them. It's how we respond to the opinions of others that makes the difference. For example, when you say "Let me start by saying that swimming like a mermaid or merman is better learned in a swim class." this is your opinion, not a fact. I learned the dolphin kick by emulating Patrick Duffy in the Man From Atlantis back in the late 70s. Sure, a practical knowledge of swimming is certainly useful but practice makes perfect.
As for me, I keep saltwater aquariums, am scuba certified, have sea critter tattoos, and I run undersea-themed D&D games. I have loved the sea since I was a child. I found MerNetwork when I was googling around for new players for my game. By that point I was already swimming as a merman in Second Life, so it took a grand total of two weeks after finding MN before I ordered my first tail!
I almost did second life because it was one of the few games you could be a mermen in. Shortly after looking around, I found this site.
Growing up, I didn't have a tail until 2 and half years ago. The thing that helped me get closer to being a mer was visiting my grand parents at their condo by the beach. I've seen various sharks, I swam with sharks in the keys, I've had multiple dolphin encounters. Do to where I live I've been lucky to have seen so much before I got my first tail. Just keep being you. The tail will come. It took me 20 years to build up the courage to swim with a tail.UNIQUE MER STORY ALERT
I am a mer without a tail currently, Merman Dylan. My mer story sort of started with watching H2O, actually. I'm still very young, only 15, but I saw it as graceful and beautiful. I'd never been good at swimming, learning to doggypaddle at probably five or six, and not in a swim class, but on my own. I had to connect with the water and my body on my own, and it wasn't something that could be taught to me. After watching the H2O girls swim so gracefully, I decided to give the dolphin kick a try, even though all I had were flippers, separate ones for each foot.
I'd always loved mermaids and the ocean, but I hadn't really devoted my interests and research time to the ocean and mermaiding. I transitioned to researching freshwater fish, and I learned that my poor betta shouldn't be living in a bowl. I dove even deeper, and continue still to be learning about the freshwater side of the aquarium hobby. I was simply drawn in to aquatic life, and wanted to dive in myself.
Diving in was out of the question though, as I'd had horrible experiences with the beach and chlorine pools and tap water.
Then, about a year ago, I saw a silicone tail for the first time. My breath caught in my throat, and I knew instantly who I was. I immediately saw myself in a lionfish inspired tail. No wonder swimming mermaid style was always easier for me. No wonder I felt more of a connection to animals rather than people. The water could silence out the distractions of the world, and being submerged would just be peace. I've also always loved the night, and had been drawn to the moonlight.
I'm currently in my new life journey, as a mermaid- or more of a siren. Only, I don't own a tail of any kind yet. Though I plan on it, I'm still fairly young, and I know I'll have to wait a while for my true tail.
Until then, I will strive to live as my merself. Being a mer without a tail isn't all that different though. As you said, if you are a merman or mermaid, then being one simply means being the best version of yourself, and that is who I always strive to be.
On another note, is there anyone here who is more of a siren than a mermaid? I know I am!
I want to apologize again Raina. I don't think I was exactly in the best state of mind. As for why I flipped out, I guess I've somehow found myself exposed to so much drama in the 2 years I've been a part of the community I sorta just flipped even though I'm completely uninvolved in it. Seeing people fighting is like a trigger for me to get upset. I think it comes from watching my parents fight before the divorce. I'm sorry it was you that I snapped at, but I think it could have been anyone. Right time, wrong time. Lol. In all seriousness, nothing I said was intended to be an attack against you. What I meant about the authority thing is that in general I think is best expressed in the following terms. You know how people treat celebrities or experts on things differently. I don't treat people differently like others might. I'd still treat a rocket scientist in the same way I would treat an average joe. Generally speaking, I recognize experience where I see it, but I'm never going to go easy on them for things. And as for the teacher thing, my point of reference is that in general teachers have been known to teach the wrong thing. It wasn't an attempt to attack you, and I apologize if you took it that way. As for the study, I'm still not sure about that. I honestly believe based on my experience the kicks are the same, but there are differences in kicking with a tail and without tail. I was not trying to say that a difference didn't exist. The swimming technique is the same while the mechanics are different. I really do apologize for snapping at you. I honestly can't even make sense as to why I got the way I did. The only thing that's clear to me is that I've seen so much inner conflict within the community...I just lost it. I can only watch so much fighting and arguing before I inject myself between the two fighting. I guess I just wanted the fighting to stop, but when my head gets so fuzzy and caught up in the emotions I just don't know how to express myself.I posted this in the drama thread but it's relevant so I'll post it here. (for those following, some of the points I make are in reply to stuff Dylan said in the other thread as well)
Dylan I really have no issue with you. My very first post was just agreeing with you, while contributing my experience. I am sorry you felt it offensive in any way. I know you are sensitive and have a hard time with that sometimes, and I thank you for apologizing. I thought you were cute as a button when I met you in person. You don't need to think higher of me, I just know you havent read my books so you don't know what's actually IN them is all the stuff you're talking about. it was meant to be validating to you, that yeah, I agree with you- I have even written in my books the same stuff. I don't say my book stuff to put myself above anyone else, I say it because it's just got all this stuff in it and sometimes it's easier for me to refer to it, then write a giant novella of a post
I think the key thing you need to know about me is that I have devoted my entire career to helping other people become mers. Not necessarily always in a professional sense. Iv'e even given away 3 silicone tails at this point to people so they could become mers. I just want everyone to be able to experience it for whatever reason they chose. I think when it comes to that, you and I are on the same page.
That's one of the reason's I like to look for merfolk art. There are so many amazing interpretations and representations of merfolk. I'm always looking to commission new mer artwork.Thats the amazing thing about this network, its a MERnetwork, its filled with mermen and mermaids that interact and intertwine, and are passionate about the same thing, merfolk! (whatever subcategory you find most interesting, it falls under the beauty of the merfolk
For me, what keeps me at the top of my mer-game is my art. I love to incorporate merfolk into my art, its the best thing to draw because each mermaid you draw is totally different and unique!
Its so fascinating for me to see how the mer-community and art community illustrates and represents merfolk! I mean, go check out Jana Heidersdorf's 100 mermaid challenge, its so fascinating! I strongly recommenced mers interested in marine biology and fine arts to go have a look!
In my opinion... there is no real "Mer-version" of yourself or any real way to make yourself more mer-like. On land or in water, if you feel like merfolk even on land then you are a Merfolk. It is something you feel in your gut and something you carry all your life. Being Merfolk is who you are, there is no separate version of yourself unless you aren't truly Merfolk. I'm not saying just ANYONE is Merfolk but in my experience... Know what truly makes me a Merman? When I'm in the water, submerged and just laying at the bottom of the pool or floating submerged in the middle of a lake... there's nothing that feels more natural or at home to me. I feel almost 100%. Even sitting beside the water makes me feel more at home. Who you are on land is who you are as a Merfolk, but without that connection and satisfactory feeling of being within the water you are a normal land person. Having a tail also doesn't make you Merfolk, that is just media and even legend but more- so media now and days. Having a tail is fun and exciting and can make swimming easier but it doesn't make you someone else. Merfolk tend to be secretive, some people are Fan-Merfolk, which is my definition for people who don't think of themselves as Merfolk and tend to dress up and have fun with it. Also, Merfolk should be natural swimmers. I learned how to swim almost dolphin-like just by natural instinct. It wasn't until later that I learned professionals swim just like me! People may choose to express their love for water in any way or form they desire. You don't have to be Merfolk to love the water, Merfolk just have a deep and unbinding connection with the water.
Last edited by Cayden; 01-30-2017 at 12:04 AM. Reason: Spelling- Errors
~Secrets are hidden in the turn of the tide~
I agree 100% with this part of your quote. I've always felt an incredibly deep connection to water long before I had my first tail. It's something I can't describe. I got my tail to help me embody what I felt.
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