i can't take it anymore,

[mermaidrobynn]

I really don't know what the hell is going on but all joy in my life is just gone. I'm not motivated to work on my tail. I'm not motivated for school, I'm not motivated to make myself proper meals, I hate my body but I'm too lazy to sport and have 0 self control, my parents are driving me crazy about making my exams to the point where I immediately get anxious as soon as they walk into the room. I have nightmares every night, I hate things like drawing and painting which I used to love, and I feel bad about everything about me all the freaking time. I went trough 4 weeks of achieving absolutely fucking nothing I am happy with and I think I need help.

[Avya]

I have been there. And not just saying that as a cliché. I was 100% in your shoes. Literally just stepping out of them now.
Let me tell you what helped me: new experiences and talking.
Talking is what everyone will tell you to do, but it's tried and true. Find someone you trust that will listen. Tell them everything. Tell them why you think this is happening. Hey, if you need someone to talk to that's been through this exact thing before I'm all ears. ❤❤
And as for new experiences, I find finding something new to get excited about helped. You may not be as excited about it as you once were for other things, but it's a start! Meeting new people. Pushing boundaries. Basically force yourself to be motivated. Take breaks when you need them. It's okay to feel bad, because that does not make YOU bad. Exercise helps SO MUCH. If you hate the gym, don't go to the gym. Go for walks outside with friends or go swimming in a tail if that's an option for you. Do what you WANT in life. Look after yourself because no one else will. And trust me when I say it gets so much better. ❤
As I said. I'm here if you'd like to chat. 😀

P.S. if all else fails, there is absolutely no shame whatsoever in medication. Unfortunately, because it can be overprescribed it has a negative stigma. You are not crazy. You are going through a hard time. And that's okay. ❤ Keep on truckin'! You got this!

[Mermaid_Ginger]

This is severe depression. An estimated 1 in 10 people suffer from severe depression. It is NOT your fault and you are NOT being lazy.

I say 1 in 10 people suffer depression, most of these people try to overcome it without medical help. I advise you to get help from a professional. You do not have to take medication if you do not want to, but I suggest you speak with a professional with an open mind.

Depression is physical, not just emotional. It has to do with the "chemicals" in your brain. Without proper help it could become worse.

I have suffered depression my entire life. There have been days I simply couldn't leave the bed. My family does not "believe" in mental health provlems, which is code for "I don't understand and so I'm going to deny reality in order to avoid it". If your family won't help you, find a friend or religious leader who will, and seek out the help you need.

There is no shame in taking care of YOURSELF before you take care of your obligations, like school. Those exams aren't going to matter if you aren't sane when they're over.

As someone who understands what it's like, I give you permission to take care of yourself and to put yourself first - even before mom and dad. They can take care of themselves. I promise.

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[mermaidrobynn]

I have been with a therapist for the past year and I haven't been diagnosed with depression (though we never looked to diagnose, we looked to heal). And it's not constant, it's odd because one moment I feel like I healed and I feel fine and the next day I'll just be half dead feeling shit. Right now it's just keeping on a bit longer than before xd really thank you both for the advice though

[LeeniusUnicorn]

So totally agree with the others, this does sound like sever depression. I've been there, it sucks, but you can come back, it just takes time but it's so worth it. It really does help to have help of depression knowledgeable medical team on your side. I don't know about the Netherlands (that's where it says you are from?) but here in the USA not all therapist can diagnose and defiantly not prescribe medications. There are Psychologist and Psychiatrists, Psychiatrists are the ones who can diagnose and proscribe medications if needed. At this point I would really look into getting an actual diagnoses just so your therapist and you can have a ground for better treatment options for you.

"And it's not constant, it's odd because one moment I feel like I healed and I feel fine and the next day I'll just be half dead feeling shit." -Mermaidrobynn

That is totally typical of a lot of mental disorders, so don't worry you're not weird, I know it sucks tho and it is so not helpful.
I use to be a caregiver for adults with mental disorders before my body broke, I've watched a friend as she went schizophrenic, and I myself suffer from PTSD, depression, anxiety, bi-polar, dyslexic aka what I lovingly call the abc's haha. So I know a lot about mental health if you want to pick my brain and I won't be offended by "silly questions" or whatever.

Hope you start feeling better soon! IDK about you but I find a hot soothing bath with some relaxing music and a bath bomb is often a great way to get started on the path to feeling better. <3 <3 <3

[LouLouBelle]

I'm going to echo everyone else, and say this is definitely a severe depression.

I can't recommend getting professional help strongly enough.

You need to find out what the cause is if you're going to treat it effectively.

If you're struggling to cope with certain events in life, therapy will help. If it's a chemical/hormone imbalance, you'll need the appropriate medication to rebalance it.

I suffered a lot with depression in the past, including a failed suicide attempt. I saw a therapist and refused to go back because it didn't help. At all.

It was only when I finally moved and registered with a new gp that I finally got real help. My gp was amazing and explained that therapy wouldn't do anything at all for a chemical imbalance, which she was 100% sure I had.

I tried three different antidepressants before finding one that worked. It took a while, but I feel a hell of a lot more 'normal' and more 'me' now that I'm on the medication.

I didn't have any hope that it would work, but I was willing to try anything at that stage.

Remember you're not alone, and do whatever you have to to get help. ❤️


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[mermaidrobynn]

Thank you all so much for the advices, I'm going to talk it over with my parents and see a doctor if I can