Okay folks, there has been a recent surge in the community of online sexual harassment. So much so that many of you here and on facebook have requested I do up a thread. So this is my guide to dealing with that type of harassment.
There's been a lot of requests for a list of know harassers and I have decided that I will post the ones I'm dealing with and encourage you to post yours. But there will be rules, as I don't want people to just throw someone up without any proof or reasoning as away to harass them.
So let's start with the guide part:
Mervert: a person who utilizing social networking or email, contacts people in the mermaid community with sexually explicit messages that are not consensual or welcomed, projects their fetish onto an unconsenting party, solicits minors or children in an inappropriate way, and is typically doing this behaviour to many people in the community. Though sometimes they make pick just one.
Collector: A collector can go either way. A collector may be a person who though they aren't involved in the mermaid community enjoys it and enjoys mermaids. A collector can be totally respectful but sometimes people get a bit weirded out by them collecting so many mers.
A collector may also end up being a mervert. A collector may also be someone who steals images and copyrighted material. If you are posting about a collector, please be sure they aren't just harmless people who enjoy mermaids
Trolls/Other: Sometimes we have people who aren't being sexually rude but are still quote harassing. This can be a bombardment of strange/suspicious questions, clearly lying to you, or just general weird behavior that makes your nervous.
How to deal:
Stop engaging. Report Behaviour. Block. Repeat.
This is the best formula for dealing with these people.
Often we get mad and want to tell them off (I know I do). But they love the attention! So stop talking to them as soon as they cross a line with you. If they are breaking a rule of a social website, sexually harassing you, harassing you, our putting a child at risk, report their profile. Block them. They may have multiple accounts and you may need to block those accounts. And keep doing that. Post a warning on your profile if you see the person has mutual friends with you, or post here with your proof. If the person has stolen your stuff or posted without permission, report them as well.
I'd also like to make the point that if you see a huge amount of complaints here but have not had an issue yourself, you may still consider deleting the person. Mers often look to mutual friends/contacts as a way of validating that a person is OK even if they seem off. I was approached once when a man I didnt even realize was on my friend's list did some bad stuff. I was asked if I could vouche for him. Hell no!
Here is where I invite people to write their complaints about users who do this. I will attempt to regulate this so that people arent wrongfully blacklisted in the following way:
1. You must put your name to a complaint please. This is helpful when multiple mers offer up their complaint and validates the complaint against the person. You'll see how I have my template down below and as people tell me their complaints here I will post them. No anon complaints. It allows people to manipulate.
2. You must post your experiences not just say ____ is a mervert. You have to explain why you feel they fall into the category. "I don't like them" or "they seem off" is not enough.
3. Whenever possible you must provide proof. Screen shots are great (Im on my tablet right now so I will edit this with my computer to include my screen shots). I will link to your proof in the template. This way people can still judge for themselves. Sometimes you dont have screenshots because you act quickly to block a person or maybe this was a past experience. I understand that but I ask you to still be as descriptive as possible. I still encourage you to post but the person will not be added to the master list in this post if no one provides proof or helps back you up.
4. If you get caught falsifying information, I'll suggest to the mods that you be suspended. Because falsifying this kinda awful stuff to make someone look bad is a form of harassment. I will also personally investigate as many cases as I can or add my own personal experiences to validate things whenever possible.
5. Links to accounts are very helpful as well.
6. The purpose of this list is not to digitally lynch mob a person. It's so you can block them and report any inappropriate behaviour and keep yourself safe. We do not encourage any form of return harassment, trolling, or stalking.
The following list has been built by community contribution through personal negative experiences. Every effort has been made to provide proof but it is up to the reader to judge for themselves who they think is an appropriate person to speak with or block. The purpose of this list is not to slander, but to offer proof of serious situations in an effort to provide safety in the mermaid community. If a person has been found to have been put on the list in error... they will be removed.
OFFICIAL COMPLAINTS LIST:
Person: Gordon Shagene
Status: Mervert, collector
Complaint: has about 10 alt profiles, all with sexually explicit images all over the timeline. Often writes sexual comments on photos. Has been attempting to communicate with minors in the mer community. Collects multiple mer accounts.
Proof: Pop him into facebook and you can see his multiple accounts and timeline activity. I have several moms come to me in the mer community about him contacting their underaged daughters (the moms monitor the daughters profiles/fanpages) as part of my proof I encourage you moms to post here simply validating that this happened. I've had many people in the mer community come to me about him. You can see people complaining about him on my post here.
Reported by: Raina, Fifi Fogg, Greg Ampton, (according to FB posts and messages) add your name to this list by posting your experience with him in the thread.
Why he's on the list: has clear sexual intentions for mermaids that has made many of us uncomfortable, uses multiple accounts when we block him, totally inappropriate for him to be addressing minors, inappropriate comments on facebook.
(I cant post all his links because I have several of his accounts blocked. If you have other links please post them.)
Status: Collector, Troll/Harasser
Complaint: As documented on my Raina Mer FB account by personal experiences of members in the community, and as documented in the "Stupid Youtube Comments" thread, Kyle has approached many mers here with the exact same story. He lives in their area. He wants to wear their tail. He will give them money for it. He wants to come see them in their area.
Proof: See screencaps in the youtube comments thread, and Raina's Mer FB link
Reported by: Raina, Fifi Fogg, Lily-Rose, Jessica Mer, Chrissy West, Melanie Long, Greg Ampton, Odette
Why he's on the list: For starters it's just plain harassment. From the screen caps and comments you can see he doesn't really stop. He's lying about being where everyone lives, and is bothering mermaids for their tails. Many feel scared, threatened or nervous by his repeated mentioning of living near them and wanting to see them. It has the potential to become a dangerous situation.
(I've blocked Kyle, if you have his link please post it so I can add it)
Status: Collector, possible mervert, fraud
Complaint: Craig adds everyone, and then says he can teach them breath holding continuously and spams it on their pages and in groups. When asked about what qualifies him to teach breath holding he has no training or certification or anything to verify that he even does it himself. Many mers have felt his intentions are sexual as it's been reported to me that he has offered to webcam with them and asked them to send him videos or money.
Proof: I do not have any personal proof beyond having him solicit me for breath holding lessons and not being able to find a shred of proof about his ability to do so. He did ask me years ago to send him videos but I don't have screen shots. If no one is able to provide their own experiences/proof I will take him down but for now there has been enough witnesses to his behaviour that I feel it warrants a warning. Una complains about him here and people validate her complaint. You can also see people's complants on my thread
Reported by: Raina, Luma (validates that he contacted her about it) Una the Mermaid, and anyone who has viewed his posts in all the mermaid groups, odette, Vanessa More, Lorelei
Why he's on the list: basically because enough people have messaged me about him, and I see the potential for sexual harassment. It's also dangerous that he's wanting to train people when he doesnt have qualifications.
I have him blocked so if you have his links please post and I'll add.
I would like people to try and follow this template and I will copy and paste into the list. If you can add any info/proof/experiences with the people already in this list I will edit so it's included and everything is linked.
There are some bad youtube accounts too that I know we've all been harassed by so please feel free to document stuff outside of just facebook.
One final disclaimer: This is not a witch hunt. But we deserve to feel safe in our community. People get black listed from communities like ours all the time for behaviours like this. Convention communities, cosplay, gaming, etc all maintain blacklists of people who have a negative reputation based on similar findings. Sexual harassment is a huge problem in the mermaid world and we have the right to speak out about it. The harasser is the one in the wrong. Not us for talking about. but as it's been stated, if there is nothing to substantiate your claims a person will not be added. And if you falsify anything it'll be my strong recommendation you be suspended for it.