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Thread: A Guide to Unwanted Contact: Merverts, Trolls, Collectors, and more with list

  1. #41
    Senior Member Undisclosed Pod Morticia Mermaid's Avatar
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    I can chime in for the whole Gordon thing. I had a MAJOR string of issues last year with him. Stalked me across several different FB pages (including trying repeatedly to add my personal page, even AFTER blocking every single one I could find), posted lude comments, sent lude/perverted messages to me :/ . I still keep getting notifications of him liking my pages, and am still constantly having to block him. I've lost count of how many accounts I have blocked from him. I've reported him to FB several times for harassment, but he just keeps making more accounts
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  2. #42
    Moderator Pod of Cali Mermaid Wesley's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mermaid Danielle View Post
    I try to give people the 'benefit of doubt', and usually wait for two or three occurrences to establish a pattern that I know I do not want to be apart of. Though, based off of everything that I'm reading from other mers, that process is probably going to come back and bite me in the fin. It might be time for a change in my personal policy on that...
    As far as Internet relationships go, don't be trusting. In person you have more wiggle room and more of an ability to judge character, online you're safer, but so are they. Ya feel?


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  3. #43
    Senior Member Undisclosed Pod
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    Yup internet losers bank on people who will be trusting

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  5. #45
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    Quote Originally Posted by Anahita View Post
    Omg aren't they f*****g irritating? I swear three times a week I get solicited to move to Dubai. And a dozen times a week I get BS about sex and webcamming.

    Lol. No thanks, dude. I didn't have to do it to escape Iran (which is sadly common, Iranian girls getting out of Iran via sex trafficking to Dubai) I'm definitely not going to do it now that I'm safely out of that hell hole.

    Fair warning to all female members here, I guess. Unless you know the Arab guy in person, don't take his random FB friend request; especially if you have numerous pictures of you in shell tops or anything that an Arab man will misconstrue as "immodest" because they'll take that as license to treat you like a... Mmmm, what's the nicest way to put it? "Working" girl. :eyeroll:

    Also, apologies if it sounds racist what I said. I don't know a more polite way to say it though. I'm really just speaking on personal experience. And I know mers are very friendly, open, and nice people, and sadly those are the very type of people who they like to take advantage of.
    Oh no I totally know what you mean. I used to be employed under Turkish men for a home remodeling company. I can validate everything you say here. It's very true... it just feels that they don't value women very much. I, even as an AMERICAN woman, felt very oppressed and judged in the work place. Ultimately, I quit. I wasn't going to tolerate it!

  6. #46
    Senior Member North Pacific Pod Raayvhen's Avatar
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    ^Don't get me started about the family of a Pakistani guy I dated. .. He was alright but his dad was crazy!
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  7. #47
    Any guy telling me that I am a "sexy" mermaid is grounds for blocking. There are so many other adjectives that could be used that don't send red flags up for me.

  8. #48
    Quote Originally Posted by Mermaid Melusinah View Post
    Oh no I totally know what you mean. I used to be employed under Turkish men for a home remodeling company. I can validate everything you say here. It's very true... it just feels that they don't value women very much. I, even as an AMERICAN woman, felt very oppressed and judged in the work place. Ultimately, I quit. I wasn't going to tolerate it!
    Quote Originally Posted by Raayvhen View Post
    ^Don't get me started about the family of a Pakistani guy I dated. .. He was alright but his dad was crazy!
    I don't know if I'm reading it with some misinterpretation, but you guys do realize that there's a difference between Turks, Pakistanis, Arabs, and for good measure just to fully clarify, Afghans, Iranians and Indians, right? I kind of suspect maybe not being able to make that distinction may have led to a lot of misinterpretation in interactions with those people that maybe made the situation feel crazy, oppressive, etc.

    I had kind of derailed the thread earlier because my possible mervert to add to the list ended up just being a regular run of the mill perv like the type I deal with regularly. I'm sorry about that, but my words of advice on the matter were meant to be used with some moderate education and knowledge to prevent victimization, not start a discussion on what seems to be a misperception that all middle-eastern men are bad Arabs....

    Being able to make that cultural distinction usually saves everyone a LOT of problems. If you can't make that distinction, of course they're going to treat you poorly, because they're assuming you're ignorant and don't deserve to be treated better because, well, you can't treat them with enough respect to know that they're not Arab and have practically nothing in common with Arab culture, with the exception of possibly a religion. Which is 180 from someone thinking you need to be treated poorly based on gender. I see women think this a lot, and I suspect that it's because they both bring up culture a lot more in an attempt to show they're open and understanding and so inadvertently make themselves look bad, and also because they don't see that men get treated just as badly for this mistake because men just don't make the opportunity to mention it as much.

    I hope this helps with future interactions. I know from personal experience none of these ethnicities, with the exception of the Arab men, have ever been rude or cruel to me, or given me unwanted advances. I have, however, seen them be MASSIVE jerks to my American friends, both men and women, and it usually starts right about the time someone hears they're Pakistani/Turk/Iranian/Afghan/Indian and then promptly asks "so do you speak Arabic?" Or says "I love hummus!" Or forgets and then calls them Arab layer on. Or something to that effect.

    Ok, end lecture. Sorry, I felt it might help y'all down the line.
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  9. #49
    Quote Originally Posted by Chrissy View Post
    Any guy telling me that I am a "sexy" mermaid is grounds for blocking. There are so many other adjectives that could be used that don't send red flags up for me.
    Yeah, sexy is pretty much a red flag. It makes the person's intentions pretty obvious from the get-go
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  10. #50

  11. #51
    Moderator Pod of Cali Mermaid Wesley's Avatar
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    A Guide to dealing with Merverts and a list of known PROVEN offenders

    Anyone have any experience with a Christopher perry? He's been messaging me a bit and idk mild creepy vibes. Looks like he has a tail though.... Hm maybe he is just being nice. Now I've flipped from too trusting to too suspicious!!


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    Last edited by Mermaid Wesley; 08-23-2014 at 05:06 AM.

  12. #52
    Quote Originally Posted by Anahita View Post
    Yeah, sexy is pretty much a red flag. It makes the person's intentions pretty obvious from the get-go
    Really?? I think I might have said "sexy" to you a bunch of time when we chatted together but I didn't get blocked

    Does that mean I have an "out of jail" card because I'm gay? lol

    Personally, I use "sexy" as a superlative to express how beautiful I find such mermaid but I understand the concerns of some who might take it as an offense.
    Looking back, we (gays) use "sexy" a lot actually


  13. #53
    Heck, I would even say that PearlieMae is sexy because she DOES look amazing in her tail!
    Truth to be told, I never thought and used the word "sexy" to express an opinion in a sexual way. Until I read this thread, it never crossed my mind.


  14. #54
    Moderator Pod of Cali Mermaid Wesley's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Merman Arion View Post
    Really?? I think I might have said "sexy" to you a bunch of time when we chatted together but I didn't get blocked

    Does that mean I have an "out of jail" card because I'm gay? lol

    Personally, I use "sexy" as a superlative to express how beautiful I find such mermaid but I understand the concerns of some who might take it as an offense.
    Looking back, we (gays) use "sexy" a lot actually
    Yeah you kindof do get a free pass lol. But it also has to do with people popping up out if nowhere and saying "you're a sexy mermaid!" As the first thing they say to you. Which happens a l o t.


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  15. #55
    Quote Originally Posted by Mermaid Wesley View Post
    Yeah you kindof do get a free pass lol. But it also has to do with people popping up out if nowhere and saying "you're a sexy mermaid!" As the first thing they say to you. Which happens a lot.
    Now that I think about it, I had some guys telling me I was quite a sexy merman when the photos of my first shooting came out but I took it as a compliment, replied "thank you" and I moved on. They never persisted but perhaps I just got lucky.


  16. #56
    Quote Originally Posted by Merman Arion View Post
    Really?? I think I might have said "sexy" to you a bunch of time when we chatted together but I didn't get blocked

    Does that mean I have an "out of jail" card because I'm gay? lol

    Personally, I use "sexy" as a superlative to express how beautiful I find such mermaid but I understand the concerns of some who might take it as an offense.
    Looking back, we (gays) use "sexy" a lot actually
    See, it's all about the semantics of it. You and me talk often, and we had a few conversations before you called me sexy, so I didn't think "omg wtf".

    If the first thing you had ever said to me was "hey, you look sexy" I probably would have wondered who dropped you on your head.

    I also think I'm a bit sexist, and I totally have a different standard that I uphold gay men to, because regardless of the language they're speaking, I do actually anticipate, if not expect, the word "sexy" to come up with some frequency. French, Farsi, English... I just expect "sexy" to be used by a gay man the same way I would anticipate other Persians expecting me to behave abhorantly spoiled because I live in LA or super duper awesome-sauce nice because I'm Zoroastrian.

    Semantics... And previous acquaintanceship.
    آناهیتا پری دریایی
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  17. #57
    Quote Originally Posted by PearlieMae View Post
    Anahita, you ROCK!
    Thanks Pearlie!
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  18. #58
    Quote Originally Posted by Mermaid Wesley View Post
    Anyone have any experience with a Christopher perry? He's been messaging me a bit and idk mild creepy vibes. Looks like he has a tail though.... Hm maybe he is just being nice. Now I've flipped from too trusting to too suspicious!!
    He frequently contacts mermaids and comments on their content, and has been around for years. We're talking pre Mer.Yuku, back in the days of Seatails.ning and earlier. He does have a tail himself (very early Mertailor model). It's possible he's just lonely and socially awkward.. but he stalked me for over a year, even after I told him I was married, not at all interested, tried to put down boundaries, and even blocked him on various sites. He seems sweet in public comments (although creepy), but myself and other mermaids found he was very creepy and made sexual comments in PMs.

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  19. #59
    Senior Member Undisclosed Pod
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    Omg I should a put him on the list he asked every mermaid to be his girlfriend and even tried to offer to buy them tails if they'd date him.

  20. #60
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    I had those experiences too. Anyone else for Perry??

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