What's with the Silence?

[Merfin_Aurora_Oceania]

I'm fed up and I'm taking a stance and I don't wish to be treated like a doormat on this forum. I don't get why people ignore my forum replies or PM's, does it not hurt to take a second to write No or Can't Help.

It's not the first time its happened to me, when I've tried to reach out for help on this forum the proverbial door is slammed in my face.

Why do people on Mernetwork do this?

I don't treat people like that on the forum or in everyday life regardless if my day has been rollercoaster ride.

It hurts when people treat me like this.

I'm lacking a great understanding as to why people behave like this, is there something I'm missing here?

Please explain.

PS - Please have crowd control on your replies this is not a like/dislike situation, I'm after flat out answers is all so I can avoid doing things people don't like, try avoid turning this post into some crazy jungle.

[AniaR]

People do answer most of your threads. But there is no obligation on anyone to give you all the stuff you keep asking for. Most of it can be found in 5 seconds by searching through the forum. No one is your personal database. You aren;t entitled to replies. I find this post really rude. Considering most of your stuff gets a reply or multiple replies within a day. Also, we all have lives. You messaged me like 3 times while I was in the middle of a ten day booking and not on the forum as much. and never once did I invite you to message me and ask me questions privately. Nobody is treating you in any way shape or form. people are just posting on a forum when they have time, and no one should be required to give you all the answers.... you're not paying here for people to teach you how to be a mermaid you know? There are so many resources that we've poured 1000s of hours into on this forum sitting there for free for you but you have these complex questions you think can be summed up in one post.

I think you need to take a step back and adjust your expectations of the forum.

edit: please also notice the fact you've posted more in a few weeks than some people have ever posted in years. Not everyone has the time to spend on the forum that you do.

[Mermaid Sirenia]

1. Most of the questions you've asked are answered in other forums, there is a search icon that you can type in your question and it will show forums that have discussed the topic
2. You recreate forums when you don't receive answers, such as the ones you posted last night. No offense but that gets old.
3. You need to understand people won't be on here 24/7, we all have busy lives outside of mernetwork.

I'm not trying to be rude, but I am being honest. Nobody is trying to be rude or ignore you, the people on mernetwork are like my 2nd family. I'm sure they all will take as much offense to this as I did. I hope your experiences with mernetwork improve, it really is a lovely site

[Merfin_Aurora_Oceania]

Fair enough, I think I'll just step away from the forum for now :)

[AniaR]

you're more than welcomed to stick around. I can tell you're super excited and enthusiastic. Maybe consider joining some FB groups to also talk about mermaids. It might meet your needs more and there are plenty of groups.

[Mermaid Harmony]

You don't have to step away, just search for what your asking first before posting a question, there are more answers than I have questions on this site, its always worth checking because alot of people answer things in depth in the forums and answering the same question multiple times when you don't have time doesn't always make sense, if the info is already compiled nicely. Also, at least for me, I don't read every new post, I only read things that catch my attention, usually about professional gigs, tail designs, hair and makeup, it's very random that I read much else, and I'm sure many others are similar to me.
This forum is really great, but we aren't on all the time either.

[Elle]

Here I was thinking this was going to be another Doctor Who thread. Yeah, it's not cos there is no love, peeps just be busy. I have uni, a stepson and a house to keep clean. I'm also building my first tail and working. Admittedly I leave myself logged in to it looks like I'm around when I'm not.

But seriously, it happens all the time. I remember commenting on posts and no one would comment after me for like a day or two and I'd be thinking "damn I destroyed the thread." But people eventually come a commenting.

Maybe just slow down on the creating new threads thing. Like the creating new threads and writing in old threads trying to get the same answer. Like with ordering a silicone tail. People have filled you in with the go, saying you have to wait for the to be spots or join the line. But you keep asking, when should I send an email, when will they reply, etc, etc.
People are giving you answers from their own experiences, but you keep asking.

There is nothing wrong with being excited or curious but when it's the same things over and over it can get frustrating for others. I'm not saying loose the enthusiasm...just tone it down a bit.

Breath and think; is there already a thread about this? I have wrote about this somewhere else? Is this where I need to share this?

It's all good, just relax, breath and wait

[MermaidMerida]

Wow some of these responses are actually rude as hell.... I've noticed this too tho like I have been trying to find some Mers in my area via the Chesapeake Pod and I get alot of views on my threads but not a single actual response.... and Im not making tons of threads but the thing is this is a forum people come here to TALK about mermaid stuff not get people ignoring them so to say shes acting entitled and all that stuff is beyond fucked up Im sorry but it is...

[MermaidMerida]

People do answer most of your threads. But there is no obligation on anyone to give you all the stuff you keep asking for. Most of it can be found in 5 seconds by searching through the forum. No one is your personal database. You aren;t entitled to replies. I find this post really rude. Considering most of your stuff gets a reply or multiple replies within a day. Also, we all have lives. You messaged me like 3 times while I was in the middle of a ten day booking and not on the forum as much. and never once did I invite you to message me and ask me questions privately. Nobody is treating you in any way shape or form. people are just posting on a forum when they have time, and no one should be required to give you all the answers.... you're not paying here for people to teach you how to be a mermaid you know? There are so many resources that we've poured 1000s of hours into on this forum sitting there for free for you but you have these complex questions you think can be summed up in one post.

I think you need to take a step back and adjust your expectations of the forum.

edit: please also notice the fact you've posted more in a few weeks than some people have ever posted in years. Not everyone has the time to spend on the forum that you do. This post right here is one of the rudest nastiest responses I have seen on a forum, Im sorry but YOU need to take a step back and look at how you are responding to people because this shit is unacceptable

[AniaR]

You do realize she's made this complaint 3 times now in different threads? One of them hijacking one of my threads to complain? I haven't said anything rude at all. I've stated facts. If you don't like them that is your problem. This thread was actually moving along fine until you made it dramatic. I'm sorry you also feel people don't reply but the answer is the same: you need to adjust your expectation . don't assume people are ignoring because you don't get an instant response. Why would you assume the worst of people when we've just stated all the reasons why people don't reply? It is a persons prerogative if they want to participate in something or not. You really can't take that so personally. Chill out.

[AniaR]

You're also pretty new to the forum Merida. It might be helpful for you to check out the information section to understand the standard etiquette of mernetwork. And perhaps not be so hasty to judge when you maybe aren't as experienced with what the general operation of the forum is.

[MermaidMerida]

You do realize she's made this complaint 3 times now in different threads? One of them hijacking one of my threads to complain? I haven't said anything rude at all. I've stated facts. If you don't like them that is your problem. This thread was actually moving along fine until you made it dramatic. I'm sorry you also feel people don't reply but the answer is the same: you need to adjust your expectation . don't assume people are ignoring because you don't get an instant response. Why would you assume the worst of people when we've just stated all the reasons why people don't reply? It is a persons prerogative if they want to participate in something or not. You really can't take that so personally. Chill out. Oh wow no okay the problem I have is your bloody attitude and the tone of your messages which are ridiculously rude and I will damn sure call out bullshit when I see it and yes I know Im swearing but right now I kinda dont care because Im pissed off that people think this kind of crap is okay. Also I dont care how many threads she made she shouldnt have had to make threads like this to begin with! Literally all I have gotten since I started posting here is ignored just like her. I have seen countless responses to other threads just after the thread was made and yet some threads get absolutely nothing its RIDICULOUS. If she has made a few threads in her excitment about this forum who freaking cares? I havent made that many posts and have waited patiently for DAYS and gotten nothing so we are NOT the problem YOU people are.

[MermaidMerida]

You're also pretty new to the forum Merida. It might be helpful for you to check out the information section to understand the standard etiquette of mernetwork. And perhaps not be so hasty to judge when you maybe aren't as experienced with what the general operation of the forum is.
Listen here I will NOT be talked to the way you are coming at me right now, I dont care how new I am you DO NOT get to lecture me or treat me like an inferior or an idiot understand? Also last I checked you arent an admin so you have no right to lecture or correct me

[Mer-Crazy]

This post right here is one of the rudest nastiest responses I have seen on a forum, Im sorry but YOU need to take a step back and look at how you are responding to people because this shit is unacceptable
I don't really think Raina is being rude, then again I kind of know how she is (not personally of course but I watch a lot of interactions on the forum) and I don't think this is rude. She's right. From observations Aurora has been making a LOT of posts, often asking things that have been answered numerous times and to which answers could have been found very easily with a simple search. She'd also ask the same questions numerous times, even after they'd been answered every time. She then complains when people aren't answering her for the fifth (made up number because I can't be bothered to count) time. You're new, so I can see how this may come across as rude, I don't think it was at all, since it's mostly a fact based post, but I think it's more frustration on Raina's part. Which I can understand when you have people constantly harassing you all the time.

Also... that escalated a lot whilst I was typing haha.

[MermaidMerida]

Hmmm heres a novel thought maybe she wouldnt have to make so many if people would actually freaking answer instead of ignoring her! Wow shocking thought I know but its the truth -____-

[MermaidMerida]

I actually dont wanna fight with anyone on here but when I see crap like this it really sets me off

[Mer-Crazy]

Oh wow no okay the problem I have is your bloody attitude and the tone of your messages which are ridiculously rude and I will damn sure call out bullshit when I see it and yes I know Im swearing but right now I kinda dont care because Im pissed off that people think this kind of crap is okay. Also I dont care how many threads she made she shouldnt have had to make threads like this to begin with! Literally all I have gotten since I started posting here is ignored just like her. I have seen countless responses to other threads just after the thread was made and yet some threads get absolutely nothing its RIDICULOUS. If she has made a few threads in her excitment about this forum who freaking cares? I havent made that many posts and have waited patiently for DAYS and gotten nothing so we are NOT the problem YOU people are.
It's actually a problem if she's spamming the forum with treads, it clogs up the forum and makes it very messy, takes up spade, directs people to pointless places when they're looking for information, especially if she's making a lot of threads asking the same questions, often exactly the same just re-titled and re-worded and have already been answered numerous times both on threads she's already made and on other already existing threads.

[AniaR]

You really need to step back and chill out. It is like you haven't understood the reasons why people aren't replying. And please stop inferring tone where there Is none. I am not the one calling names, cursing, and making accusations at others simply because a thread doesn't get an answer. This is the internet.

1. People don't reply to threads that have been posted more than once. ( which she did)
2. People don't reply to threads that are redundant: meaning there are loads of threads already covering all the materials.
3. People don't reply to threads that don't interest them or apply to them: eg why would someone reply to your meet up thread if they aren't interested in one or active on the forum?
4. People don't reply to threads because they simply dont see it as harmony pointed out.
5. People don't reply to threads because they don't have an answer for the questions being asked.
6. People don't reply because they have lives and are busy.

At the very bottom of that list might be people don't reply because they don't like you. And so what? If someone doesn't like you they're doing you a favour by not posting in your thread. It is 99% more likely the rest of the things I listed.

And yes, expecting answers when no one owes you anything is being entitled. Accusing people of 'using you as a doormat' because your thread doesn't get a reply is acting entitled. Being a new member and not bothering to familiarize yourself with the forum etiquette and expecting everyone to just answer everything is very much beimg entitled.

This is mernetwork. I've been here since day 1. Pretty much everyone knows the general etiquette. You're sent rules and links when you join asking you to read the provided links. Because we already put a huge amount of work into providing all this info for everyone. When a person spends more time complaining In a post than it actually takes to click on the forum to get the answer all ready there.... Yes. That's entitled.

Now please. Take a step back, a big breath, and calm down

[Ashe]

I personally think it might be a good idea for us to leave this thread alone. It's all pointless drama started by newer, possibly inexperienced members. We (myself included even though I haven't posted anything beforehand) are getting so worked up over this. I say let the two venture around the forum a bit more and then they may understand how these things work. Maybe they're new to forums in general? Maybe they enjoy stirring things up on the internet? We may never know.

To Merida and Auroraspirit: Do you see how many posts I've made in total? Do you see how many years I've been on this forum? I guess you could say that I'm pretty old and known member around here - but I still often do not get replied to. On my thread about revamping my old tail, its mostly just my updates, and not many people comment. This is fine by me as I know that many people don't know the answers to my questions or updates because I am using new methods. There are a few people who have given tips and thats just about all I need. Plus, the community is growing at an alarming rate, posts get buried and people move onto other things. It's not a matter of being rude, theres just a time and place for each thread to get attention.

[Merfin_Aurora_Oceania]

Dear Raina and Other Mernetwork Members,

I write the following in hopes you may understand the situation from my point of view.

Has anyone taken the time to stop and think, when approaching a situation that is not understood, why do people become afraid?

Is it from a lack of understanding or it from a lack of love?

Take the time to see it from another person’s perspective.


"How would you feel if you approached yourself in the mirror and said hurtful words, would you treat yourself the same way?"


I feel so sorry for people when they lash out on me. Just because you do not know me as a person or my circumstances, does not give you the right to behave in a way that is not from a place of love. I feel that I do not need to justify myself in order to be respected.

Why can’t everyone be respectful and kind regardless of who we are, we come from, what religion or career we do. Aren’t we all united?

I say this in particular to everyone.

"Treat others the way you wish to be treated"

What you give to other's you shall receive, what do you wish to receive today?

I feel like as if people not just on this forum however in everyday life too, fear the light within me and because they find it scary they do or say things that hurts, take the time to think, would you like it if someone tried to disempower you?

In my opinion people who lash out onto others do this because they see the same similarities within themselves.

In truth, what is it that you don’t like within yourself that makes you lash out onto another person? What are you afraid of?


"What can you change within yourself to see yourself in a place of love that you know you deserve?"

Take the time, to stop and think when you meet a person before you act or speak.


"Spoken or Written words are just like weapons, they can hurt and kill."

When you consider this, would you treat to your own family and friends in the same way you talk to other’s?

Even though you do not know someone personally does not mean that you treat them in such a way.

How do you know how that person is feeling or what circumstances have brought them here today.

I feel sorry for you Raina and anyone else whom does not the power of written or spoken words.


"Take the time to love yourself today, give yourself a hug or do something special, everyone deserves to be treated equally, so stand up for yourself today regardless who you are :)"

"I am unique and I love myself.
What makes you unique? What do you love about yourself?

How would you feel if someone tried to say or act in a way that would make you change who you are?
Would you let others change you into someone who you are not? Regardless if family, friends or strangers"


I hope you choose to listen my words today and think about it.

What difference do you want to make today and how would your actions and words empower others?


Remember the act of kindness is greater than all the words in the dictionary put together.

Thank you for being you.

[MermaidMerida]

You really need to step back and chill out. It is like you haven't understood the reasons why people aren't replying. And please stop inferring tone where there Is none. I am not the one calling names, cursing, and making accusations at others simply because a thread doesn't get an answer. This is the internet.

1. People don't reply to threads that have been posted more than once. ( which she did)
2. People don't reply to threads that are redundant: meaning there are loads of threads already covering all the materials.
3. People don't reply to threads that don't interest them or apply to them: eg why would someone reply to your meet up thread if they aren't interested in one or active on the forum?
4. People don't reply to threads because they simply dont see it as harmony pointed out.
5. People don't reply to threads because they don't have an answer for the questions being asked.
6. People don't reply because they have lives and are busy.

At the very bottom of that list might be people don't reply because they don't like you. And so what? If someone doesn't like you they're doing you a favour by not posting in your thread. It is 99% more likely the rest of the things I listed.

And yes, expecting answers when no one owes you anything is being entitled. Accusing people of 'using you as a doormat' because your thread doesn't get a reply is acting entitled. Being a new member and not bothering to familiarize yourself with the forum etiquette and expecting everyone to just answer everything is very much beimg entitled.

This is mernetwork. I've been here since day 1. Pretty much everyone knows the general etiquette. You're sent rules and links when you join asking you to read the provided links. Because we already put a huge amount of work into providing all this info for everyone. When a person spends more time complaining In a post than it actually takes to click on the forum to get the answer all ready there.... Yes. That's entitled.

Now please. Take a step back, a big breath, and calm down you really think is this isnt rude as all hell? Honey you really need to reevaluate a few things if you really think that lol

[AniaR]

Put it this way; let's say you posted something to facebook but not many people comment on it. Are you going to scream at your friends and family that you aren't the problem, they are? I really can't wrap my head around why you think people have to respond to you.

[Elle]

Hmmm heres a novel thought maybe she wouldnt have to make so many if people would actually freaking answer instead of ignoring her! Wow shocking thought I know but its the truth -____-


We do answer, when we have an answer to provide. She asked about emailing Merbellas, answers were provided (along with information as to why they might not respond immediately). She asked about tail funding, we provided feedback, and others sent links to other threads where they showed methods on how to save for a tail.

I can understand how it could be seen as being mean, but it's mainly that the questions have been answered already. Multiple times by several people.
The internet has no tone when it comes to written responses, which mean misunderstandings are one of the biggest things we get on here. please understand that we aren't being mean. I'm sorry you see it that way.

[MermaidMerida]

Put it this way; let's say you posted something to facebook but not many people comment on it. Are you going to scream at your friends and family that you aren't the problem, they are? I really can't wrap my head around why you think people have to respond to you. I never once said they absolutely had to respond but even ONE damn response would be nice so when not one single person responds to a thread yet you get well over 20 views it does kind of piss a person off and make them feel like shit or that they did something to deserve not being responded to

[AniaR]

This is really a case of taking things personally that just aren't. And perhaps being ignorant to the forum is a part of that, but there's a certain amount of responsibility on a member to read the info email/ message sent to them from Iona when they join. It is all laid out there.

I think aurora spirit is getting the idea based on her other several threads on the topic

For now I think Kalani is right. It is too bad it escalated to name calling and cursing cuz I think prior to that everyone did a really good job of explaining the issue and giving ideas to aurora spirit despite the accusatory tone of the first post.

Catch you on the flip side folks. Be sure to read the forum rules! Perhaps we can make an actual detailed etiquette guide so newbs have more appropriate expectations in the future.

[Elle]

BULLDOZER

:bulldozer::bulldozer::bulldozer::bulldozer::bulld ozer::bulldozer::bulldozer:

I'm putting this up now cos I can feel this is probably going to get completely out of hand very very soon

Unless people decide to just step back and realise they don't need to have the last word

[MermaidMerida]

This is really a case of taking things personally that just aren't. And perhaps being ignorant to the forum is a part of that, but there's a certain amount of responsibility on a member to read the info email/ message sent to them from Iona when they join. It is all laid out there.

I think aurora spirit is getting the idea based on her other several threads on the topic

For now I think Kalani is right. It is too bad it escalated to name calling and cursing cuz I think prior to that everyone did a really good job of explaining the issue and giving ideas to aurora spirit despite the accusatory tone of the first post.

Catch you on the flip side folks. Be sure to read the forum rules! Perhaps we can make an actual detailed etiquette guide so newbs have more appropriate expectations in the future.
And here we have yet another rude bitchy response from you and if you reread the posts no one called anyone a name exept for you calling us new folks newbs but cussing was used because well theres actually nothing wrong with cussing get over it. Im literally stunned that you think its okay to talk to people the way you do honestly

[Mer-Crazy]

I never once said they absolutely had to respond but even ONE damn response would be nice so when not one single person responds to a thread yet you get well over 20 views it does kind of piss a person off and make them feel like shit or that they did something to deserve not being responded to
The only thread you didn't get any replies on is your "Any mermaids in Virginia?" ThreadS. Have you ever considered there just aren't any mermaids in Virginia? Or if there are seek them out (there's a map that shows you the location of mermaids who have allowed it) and contact them individually. Only ONE of Aurora's TWENTY EIGHT started threads have no replies (and tha'ts just because it was made like 10 minutes ago) and considering she's only been on here a couple of weeks you don't think that's a little overkill?

Anyway, Elle's right. Stepping back. See ya and have a nice day :)

[AniaR]

I never once said they absolutely had to respond but even ONE damn response would be nice so when not one single person responds to a thread yet you get well over 20 views it does kind of piss a person off and make them feel like shit or that they did something to deserve not being responded to
I get you feel that way its just not ok to flip on people because of it. You or her. You don't think it pisses us off to see the same questions asked a million times by someone who hasn't even introduced themselves lol. I think as a forum we are way nicer about it than pretty much any other forum on the internet. You just can't force people to reply no more than we can force people to do anything really. I'm sorry you're upset you don't get replies but you have 20 posts... I'm nearing 10,000 and years on this site. I have 100s of no replies. It is just the internet. There's no promise of replies or answers when people join. Like I said this isn't a service.

And now I'm really done. I just missed that post cuz I was typing earlier.

[Elle]

And here we have yet another rude bitchy response from you and if you reread the posts no one called anyone a name exept for you calling us new folks newbs but cussing was used because well theres actually nothing wrong with cussing get over it. Im literally stunned that you think its okay to talk to people the way you do honestly

Dude, just chill.

[AniaR]

PS just so you know a huge amount of views on MerNetwork's come from bots that catalog posts for google and other search engines. You can see it when you click to see who is online. Majority are bots and non members. A post may be viewed 20 times but most of those will be bots and non members and every time you view it it adds a view.

I swear to God last comment lol. It just occurred to me that people may not realize that about viewcount. So its not 20 people reading it and ignoring you. :)

[MermaidMerida]

Ania why didnt you just say that in the first place? How the bloody hell was I supposed to know that bots and crap can make views appear on threads? -____-

[Nyx]

@MermaidMerida Sweetie, Raina is definitely not being rude. Remember that this is all typed, written text really has no tone and depends on how you interpret it. And she has all the right to 'correct you' (which by the way she really isn't, she's giving you a suggestion), both because of how you are responding to her as well as because of how long she's been part of this community. She definitely knows the general etiquette of the forum and how this community interacts. And she has all the right to call you out when you aren't following it. Also, she is in no way treating you like an inferior member or an idiot. Raina is one of the most welcoming mermaids in this forum. Any seemingly negative response towards you is more so a response to those very very unnecessarily angry comments you've made.
She is just telling it like it is, and I completely agree. I joined this forum three years ago (wow how time flies), and that's exactly how it was at first, barely any responses and everything seems pretty silent. That's the way Mernetwork works, you get used to it, but this has been talked all about before so I'm not going to repeat it.
And as a member of the Chesapeake pod, yes, we are pretty much inactive on our forum group. Most of things that are planned and how we connect with each other happen through Facebook. If you go through older posts you will find links to different Facebook groups. The Chesapeak pod is rather awkwardly spread out through the east coast (in my opinion) so we're not particularly good at staying connected. I only ever get to communicate with mermaids within North Carolina.

Edit: Oh WOW this grew while I was typing, I'm just gonna swim awwwaaaayyy.

[MermaidMerida]

@MermaidMerida Sweetie, Raina is definitely not being rude. Remember that this is all typed, written text really has no tone and depends on how you interpret it. And she has all the right to 'correct you' (which by the way she really isn't, she's giving you a suggestion), both because of how you are responding to her as well as because of how long she's been part of this community. She definitely knows the general etiquette of the forum and how this community interacts. And she has all the right to call you out when you aren't following it. Also, she is in no way treating you like an inferior member or an idiot. Raina is one of the most welcoming mermaids in this forum. Any seemingly negative response towards you is more so a response to those very very unnecessarily angry comments you've made.
She is just telling it like it is, and I completely agree. I joined this forum three years ago (wow how time flies), and that's exactly how it was at first, barely any responses and everything seems pretty silent. That's the way Mernetwork works, you get used to it, but this has been talked all about before so I'm not going to repeat it.
And as a member of the Chesapeake pod, yes, we are pretty much inactive on our forum group. Most of things that are planned and how we connect with each other happen through Facebook. If you go through older posts you will find links to different Facebook groups. The Chesapeak pod is rather awkwardly spread out through the east coast (in my opinion) so we're not particularly good at staying connected. I only ever get to communicate with mermaids within North Carolina.
literally all I wanted/want is to connect with Mers in my pod and around my area so it really bummed me out to not get a single effing response and if you could send me a link to the face book I would appreciate it...

Im backing away from this thread because I dont want people to hate me here and because its just time to step away sorry for offending anyone.....

[AniaR]

Everyone answered you're questions as much as they could. It is not ok to write a big post painting Me as a bully because I wouldn't answer your PMs about merbellas after giving you all the answers in the thread all ready. This is gotten beyond out of control all because people have respectfully put boundaries down with you over your getting upset that a few of your threads didn't get instant replies.

You talk about all this stuff but as soon as someone didnt give you what you wanted you made accusations. You've done very little to get to know others. Only ask for things. And we all have a story and things about us that make us who we are. I gave two chronic illnesses. Run my business and do multiple jobs to support my partner who is unemployed. But you don't know any of that, you just know I put down a respectful boundary saying I wouldn't be answering anymore private messages. You totally throw out the fact I have answered loads of things for you. But I don't do one thing and you paint a bully picture.

We have people on here with autism who also struggle with self regulating on the forum. But they listen to the feedback of others and aren't accusatory when they don't get what they want.

It does not make me want to help others, or continue putting out so many resources, when I get this kind of a reply for saying a polite no to someone. I think the post and the others is rude, entitled, and manipulative. And while some people on here aren't my biggest fans I think many will see that too.

[AniaR]

Ania why didnt you just say that in the first place? How the bloody hell was I supposed to know that bots and crap can make views appear on threads? -____-
Because I missed your post talking about views because we were all typing at the same time!! Lol

[MermaidMerida]

Because I missed your post talking about views because we were all typing at the same time!! Lol well shit lol oh well its all over and done with now lol

[AnnaAbyss]

Nobody's being hurtful towards you Aurora. Some words of advice are just search up and read before you ask any questions since almost all of them are answered anyway. People have given you the answers to your questions yet you keep asking. This isn't really the busiest forum on the Internet, either.

[AniaR]

Its ok merida I get where you're coming from. I know it can be frustrating just try not to take it personal cuz it really isn't. Just keep posting and getting to know people. I understand you just really want a mermaid community to call your own.

Maybe we can like I said earlier make a clearer etiquette guide and I'll be sure to mention the thing about views! Its kinda like fb fan pages. You have reach which is all the people who see the post and usually the people who like it are far less lol

[Merfin_Aurora_Oceania]

Raina my dear.

If you know others with Autism, have you not put two and two together yet?

I feel sorry for you :)

[AniaR]

I work professionally with people who have autism. But since you did not publicly identify yourself I did not feel it was my place to point out what I thought were signs of it from you.

Please stop obsessing over me on the forum. It makes me extremely uncomfortable that you've named me in the subjects of several posts.

If you have autisim than my attempts at being black and white should be appreciated. So I will make this as clear as possible one more time:

1. People have answered you more than once many times. On our forum you must stop reposting threads, check to see if a topic is covered before asking a question, and not get upset with people if they can't answer you.

2. In your other thread we listed all the reasons why people don't reply to threads. Please read it.

3. In future if you take personal issue with something someone says, you report the post. Call out threads get people suspended.

If you want people to reply on here please do the following:
1. Accept the answers that are given
2. Don't repost a thread multiple times
3. Respect the boundaries of others
4. Don't ask the same questions over and over when you've been given an answer.
5. Please read the stickied threads for topics you're interested in or search the forum using the search function.
6. Please stop cluttering up the forum with call out threads getting angry you aren't getting the answers you want. This is the 3rd one in 6 hours.

On a personal note stop saying you feel sorry for me. You are accusing us of being hurtful because we don't answer things the way you want. Buy you have been making so many accusations.


You should talk to some of the other mers who have autism to help you learn how to self regulate on the forum. They know what it feels like to be excited and have a hard time with the social queues . they can help you.

I take accountability for myself if I am being mean on the forum. But I have done nothing but answer your questions multiple times. Stop referencing me like this in threads. I have a right to turn off my PM s ( which I have done many times before you were a member) without being subjected to 3 call out threads. I and others have been more than kind and accommodating and I feel you are taking advantage of that.

[Merfin_Aurora_Oceania]

I think the way you construct your words things can come across as being harsh in my opinion, take a look in the mirror Raina, would you treat yourself the way you treat me?

I am taking a stance for myself because I am not people's doormats, I have experienced 16 years of bullying so I am extremely sensitive and I can feel when you are personally attacking me.

Your energy, your words whether written or spoken are like psychic attacks Raina, they are like daggers being stabbed into my body. Do I not have a right to speak up how I feel? You are hurting me.

Its not just yourself Raina, I'm saying to other's also.

Despite yourself being influential on the forum, even the people whom do not have much as influential power such as myself I want to take a stance for myself. Even those that are afraid to speak up, I speak up for them too because its not an experience I ought to go through and at least I know I have a voice in which to use and I am not afraid of who I am.

I don't need to follow someone to be powerful. I am powerful in myself and I can be my own leader.

Why should I be treated any less and I don't need to justify myself or who I am in order to be understood?

I can not help to feel sorry for you as you are so quick to jump to conclusions. Every person is unique regardless, I ought not be here right now justifying myself to anyone.

We ought to embrace each other for who we are.

I see the light within myself for who I am.

Why are people so quick to quell my light just because they don't understand?

If you were to know of my personal circumstances what it shift the way you feel? How can you be so quick to judge me, you don't know me.

How would you feel Raina if you were to walk in my shoes and I walk in your shoes?

Just like you, we have all walked on our own individual journeys, we all cope with what we have because we can handle all that is given to us.

I want to enjoy my time on my forum without fear. I have a voice and I am not afraid to stand up for myself.

I am appreciative for what I have regardless what comes way.

What are you afraid of?

Regardless of what you have written, I am going to enjoy my time on the forum :)

Thank you for your time Raina and showing me your true colours.

[AniaR]

Nobody is bullying you. You made 29 threads. Only one didn't get replies. Why do you get to treat people this way and use Autism as an excuse? Why do we need to constantly justify ourselves and why or why we don't post? I have been perfectly civil with you. I just didn't write no offence every time I said something. Pretty much everything you have said to me has either been asking for help or attacking me. True colors? Are you even for real right now?

I think what you feel are attacks are a common response people with autism and other socially based disorders feel when people put down boundaries. Boundaries are hard to understand with social disorders and often elicit a fear response in people. I put down a boundary with you. And even though everyone is saying almost word for word what I'm saying you are fixating on me because I put down the boundary of no PMs.

I just really can't even with this thread anymore. I feel like you aren't absorbing what we all keep saying to you so what's the point? I hope you'll take a break from posting and familiarize yourself with how the forum works

[Elle]

28601

[PearlieMae]

It is a lucky thing that all this shit got straightened out, because before I got down to the calming down/resolution part of this whole ordeal, I was ready to start tearing new assholes.

[Merman Arion]

It is a lucky thing that all this shit got straightened out, because before I got down to the calming down/resolution part of this whole ordeal, I was ready to start tearing new assholes.

I feel you. I had a tough time to not say anything.
Hugs :hug:

[Mermaid Harmony]

As someone who is best friends with Coradion, I've seen both sides of Raina as she can get frustrated with him or a few others, and as she's been nice. In this case, I see it as she's being fairly clear and trying to be none biased as possible and lay it out straight. She can be fiesty, just check the drama thread, she's been banned I think (Raina correct me if I'm wrong) more than almost anyone on the forum for different amounts of times. But in ever reply to you (that I've read at the moment) she's been pretty bland in her answers of emotion (IMO) as to not get anyone riled up. I get what you are saying as we should all watch what we say, but we've all been pretty simple in our actions and no one has attacked, as for the replies that others have written they've seemed in line with Rainas of just 'check the forum' which if you check other threads people have started with only a few replies it's been the same 'this has already been answered here______ or check this thread or page for the info, it's already up "
you wrote
Your energy, your words whether written or spoken are like psychic attacks Raina, they are like daggers being stabbed into my body. Do I not have a right to speak up how I feel? You are hurting me.
Which is valid in your own right to feel that way, but I feel as what I've read that she hasn't attacked you in any way.
I hope you are your own leader and proud and loving in your own right and that you grow to read the forum, but as we've said before, tons of stuff has been covered, and in this instance I don't think anyone has been outrageously rude or angry towards you (I haven't read everything) I've seen some pretty brutal and mean things people have written on this forum and have seen Raina and others go on the attack (No offense doll, just statement, I still adore you) but she's not in this case (again, in my opinion, but I'm pretty sure others would agree with me). I hope you have a good night, and can swim soon. Sometimes we all just need a good swim, sleep and food. :-)

[PearlieMae]

Long, vicious post had been deleted.

PS: Aurora, Learn how to use apostrophes correctly.

[Elle]

you know it's gone on too far when Pearlie looses her shit...:fallover:

[PearlieMae]

I deleted it. I don't have time for this bullshit. I have saved it, though...don't think I won't repost as necessary. ;)

[SeaGlass Siren]

This is why I've stopped responding to threads. Because THIS happens.
I've read the other two threads created prior to this as well. Smh.
Just gonna swim away from this thread

[Mermaid Sirenia]

Wow okay really, I have nothing to say, this isn't worth my time. I'm just going to go drink a cup of tea and calm myself down lol

[Merman Arion]

I have facepalmed my forehead way too many times because of her. I'm not gonna do that again

[Mermaid Harmony]

:sweat drop: I'm glad this calmed down. I seriously hate mermaid drama. I feel like mermaids can get really dramatic really fast (as can humans) but sometimes it grows fast on the forum, so I'm glad everyone breathed.

[Ilyena]

You know when you get a feeling about someone...I was right. Ima go take some painkillers and sleep now.

[shimmygoddess]

Aurora, I am not sure the questions you were asking, but that happens in a forum. People are busy and they don't have time to respond to everything. Alot of times it is the same questions repeated and if someone took a little time to search the topics they could find their answers. I understand what Autism is about, my son has it. I am sorry you have been bullied in the past, noone deserves that. There are alot of new mermaids that come on here asking a billion and one questions and sometimes I know, I just skip answering because its tiresome. I am not doing it to be mean or a bully, just because I have limited time on here. People ask questions all the time and they will sometimes go unanswered, that happens to everyone. It is not just you. Just try and relax, let it go.Also look online for answers. Good luck

[AniaR]

Thanks everyone. We have said all these same things over and over now in several threads. I feel like a broken record. Not saying this to be mean at all: i just have no idea how else to make it stick!

[AniaR]

It took a lottttt of self control lol

[shimmygoddess]

FYI, there are mers in VA. My advice is to get on FB and look for some groups. I think there are several. Chesepeke Pod is one. East coast mermaids in another

[MermaidMerida]

Its ok merida I get where you're coming from. I know it can be frustrating just try not to take it personal cuz it really isn't. Just keep posting and getting to know people. I understand you just really want a mermaid community to call your own.

Maybe we can like I said earlier make a clearer etiquette guide and I'll be sure to mention the thing about views! Its kinda like fb fan pages. You have reach which is all the people who see the post and usually the people who like it are far less lol yeah I think an actual rules thread or some such thing would help immensly and honestly I had no idea she had posted so many threads all I saw when I came in here was it looked like she was being attacked so I went off cuz I hate seeing that kind of thing so Im sorry for flipping my shit at you....

[AniaR]

Yeah she posted loads of threads and PMed a bunch of us a lot
Everyone gave her answers and tried to help. That's why we all got so annoyed with these posts she's making complaining.

[MermaidMerida]

Yeah I looked through last night and saw all of them.... all this being said I have a disability that makes certain social interactions difficult and I think Aurora has something similar so I get why she did what she did and thats why I flipped out too. I just dont want anyone to hate me or her on the network cuz this is the main place I have for a mermaid community....

[MermaidShannon]

I feel like you may be seeking validation and attention and what is available isn satisfying your needs. I don't think anyone judges you for having that need but the resources are there and everyone needs to calm the actual fuck down or I'm getting the hose out


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[AniaR]

that legit made me think of this

http://static.fjcdn.com/pictures/Kids+playing+with+a+water+hose.+You+can+comment+wi th_48af12_4563472.png

[Merman Arion]

that legit made me think of this

http://static.fjcdn.com/pictures/Kids+playing+with+a+water+hose.+You+can+comment+wi th_48af12_4563472.png

Best picture of the day LOL :lol:

[Nyx]

Oh LORD that looks painful :lol:

[PearlieMae]

that legit made me think of this

http://static.fjcdn.com/pictures/Kids+playing+with+a+water+hose.+You+can+comment+wi th_48af12_4563472.png

THAT needs to be added to the list of smiley faces!

[Dancing Fish]

I understand that you are frustrated, auroraspirit, but unless you acknowledge that your behavior may be contributing to your reception then this might happen again. So please accept this advice in the spirit that it is offered, because it is kindly meant:
99% of the time, what someone else says and does is not about oneself. It's always best to just assume people are distracted or busy, and it has nothing to do with you. That includes not getting responses on forums.
Public shaming is unkind and even if that's not what you intended with this post, that is what you did. You called out Raina by name and included everyone else. Nobody will respond kindly to shaming. I think the response here has been very restrained.
However you meant it, saying you feel sorry for someone is always going to come across as condescending. It does not ever reflect well on a person because it makes them sound superior.
I don't think you intend to be unkind with this post, but intentions are hard to gauge from text. Just as we do not intend to be unkind to you, but that's what you assumed. It will make your interactions with forum members easier is you always assume they are not being intentionally insulting or cruel.
It's also good to step back now and then, because posting while riled up is a good way to hurt other peoples' feelings.
I honestly love this forum even though my posts don't get tons of responses either, and I hope that you will come to feel comfortable here too. It takes time to build strong healthy relationships.

[PearlieMae]

This!

Thank you, ashmorelj, your response calmed me down!

You know how I get.

[MermaidMerida]

Okay Im gonna be as nice as I can here.... If she has a form of Autism (I think its Aspergers Syndrome) then there is a VERY legitimate reason why she behaves the way she does and Raina if you work with autistic people you of all people should understand her issues to some degree. I have a an NVLD a NonVerbal Learning Disability which falls on the Autism Spectrum so I understand her issues better than most I think. That being said her behavior is out of control however for someone to say they dont have time for this bullshit when someone with a disability is trying to explain why the shit hit the fan the way it did is NOT acceptable under any circumstances.

All this being said I am not getting into a fight with anyone over this again but I think some folks on here need to take a step back and look at how you treat someone with a disability.

[MermaidMerida]

that legit made me think of this

http://static.fjcdn.com/pictures/Kids+playing+with+a+water+hose.+You+can+comment+wi th_48af12_4563472.png
I think I pulled something I howled so loud at this holy crap what a great pic xD

[SeaGlass Siren]

Oh my god. i pissed myself laughing.

[PearlieMae]

Speculating on whether or not someone has autism or other disability is ridiculous, especially ONLINE.

So maybe someone has ________ (fill in the blank). And then again, maybe someone is just a jerk.

The Acceptability Police need to stop making excuses for people and stop telling others how to behave. Especially when someone acts like an ass and wants everyone to tiptoe around their precious issues.

[Dancing Fish]

Mermaidmerida, I am a college professor, so that's where this response is coming from. I have many students with disabilities, for whom we are happy to make accommodations. If a student is deaf or blind, we will give them tests in the appropriate format. If a student has a verified learning disability, we are happy to give them a quiet place and extra time to take exams.

They must still learn the material and pass the exams, however. This may require them to put forth extra effort to overcome their disability, but that is their responsibility, not mine. There is only so far the world will bend to accommodate a disability.

This situation is very similar. If a poster wants a good reception in any forum, it really is the responsibility of the poster to get a feel for forum etiquette. If they want accommodations for a disability, they should state that outright. And no disability excuses unkind behavior.

[AniaR]

She's never actually said she has autism. How is anyone to know? And we have plenty of mers with autism here and they managed to be respectful is all.

[MermaidCelesteFL]

Listen. I've tried responding to some of your threads as best as I could, no judgements. But all of the members here can't give you all of the answers you're looking for, especially the one you look up to the most. Raina is a busy mermaid with a lot on her plate and she does her best to try to answer questions when the answer sometimes isn't readily available in another thread or on another website. She isn't purposely ignoring you or trying to be catty because you can't research the answers yourself. She is acting on behalf of herself and the community.

On another note though, I am personally offended by you constantly "feeling sorry" for Raina, telling us to love ourselves, and asking us why we love ourselves. As an individual with Bipolar II and a TERRIBLE record with therapists, I don't need someone to lecture me on loving myself. It only brings attention to the fact that I have tons of self esteem issues, leading me to feel even worse about myself after reading your comments. You don't know the intricate details of our lives and what makes us tick. Raina has two chronic illnesses to deal with, and yet still put up with your bullshit. We all jump through hoops to live life normally, and we don't need your sympathy to continue living.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[AniaR]

Amen! Thanks for saying that

[Fifi Tigg]

Lots of love Raina :mermaid kiss:
This girl needs to sit back and read what she has written!
How old are you and do you have an illness?
I think it would help us all to understand a little if both these questions were answered, but in saying that it still does not excuse this terrible attacking thread :(

[AniaR]

wall o text time.

Thank you everyone for sticking up for me. I know I can personally be quite hot headed on the forum and there are people I butt noses with... but I honestly was working very hard to be kind, neutral, and give this girl all the info she asked for. I even asked Raven and Tyler about her emails so I could better understand the context. (which is how I learned she wasnt ready to make a purchase financially. )

Since merfest I have felt very taken advantage of and used by certain people in the community. Combine that with the constant emails, PMs, and messages from many (not just the OP, but you all know what I mean, the just constant stream some of us get) and then seeing this post kind of broke me a bit.

I have always maintained that while I may not personally get along with people, it's important to share knowledge, share what I know and have learned, and I really enjoy that. I've done two books now, online and in person workshops, I just added written tutorials to my tumblr and my website, all the threads here, answering questions for anyone whenever I can, and the free vlogs that address really specific things. I don't do it to be thanked, or treated differently, or seen differently. it's just the kind of person I am. I enjoy learning. I enjoy sharing education. And I enjoy helping others. Even before mernetwork existed or I was in the mermaid world these were still the types of things I did for other people. It's just part of who I am.

But I have felt very run over lately. And while yes, 7 years ago when I started this journey I had all the time in the world to answer questions, I don't anymore. I am glad people see me as approachable but since writing my books and publishing them (which literally came out of me being too stressed by constant emails) I have taken huge steps to control how I share with the community so I don't burn out.

I'm sure many of you have noticed how short tempered I've been lately. I just have know patience for anyone online. And I recognize that's because I am burnt out and used up a bit here. I turned off my PMs because I felt like every time I logged on I was being hounded. And I come here to learn too! To share with others, to celebrate. And My inbox is never full of "Hey Raina how are you today" it's always "I'm pretty much a stranger to you here all all my problems fix them and teach me how to be a mermaid." and this isnt just the OP this is something I've struggled with. Rather than lash out at people I figured the responsible thing to do would be to 1) turn off my PMs and 2) take a break from social media when this contest I'm in is done so I can recharge and be happier with people.

I really honestly thought this would turn into a hate Raina thread. There are loads of people who don't like me (and I am OK with that. There are people I don't like. But if someone is gonna give me shit at least I should have done something to provoke it you know?) and I expected them all to piggy back on this thread and just used it as an excuse to voice that. I honest to God thought I'd wake up this morning and it would be all "Raina's a bully" because I turned off my PMs. I am INCREDIBLY THANKFUL that you all make the effort to see the tone of my posts and recognize that I literally havent done anything wrong here.

Yes, if I am being a shit... call me on it. I do try to learn from everything that happens on here and change what I do when needed, or step away. But literally all I have done for this user is give them answer after answer after answer. And I think I have a right to come on mernetwork and not be harassed and guilt tripped.

As far as the *possibility* this person has Autism... loads of us have different disorders. I have a learning disability and it's the reason why I am often impulsive online, why my spelling and grammer and typos are often horrible, and why as Venssa put it (and I love it honestly) I write big walls of texts that are novels. That's how I process things. BUT I DON'T GET TO USE IT AS AN EXCUSE. Nor do I get to use the stress of chronic illness as an excuse. The stress of financial hard times, or anything else bad in my life. I can share it - as can any other user- as CONTEXT to what I am dealing with. But honestly. My impulsiveness is a huge issue for me. Do you think it would be fair if I excused away my drama I willingly get involved in by saying "well I wasnt thinking I have an impulse problem." no it wouldnt. I know that is my problem. I work on it. It'll never go away but I have learned and will KEEP learning how to control it and buffer it in the community. I remember when Ariel Starfish first joined and was so enthusiastic and it was super hard for her to control it. I know sometimes her feelings felt hurt. But I also see that she listened to everyone, tried really hard not to take things personally, and I see how hard she is working to not be overwhelming to others. I appreciate it. And I respect her so much more because of it. I don't expect people to overcome these things... but I do expect people to try and compromise and meet others in the middle. Same with Kae-Leah. She also has a form of autism and struggled in the early days of the forum and has really learned how to handle herself and even went to an outing.

So Autism, or not. We can understand a person's plight. But that doesn't mean their happiness and enjoyment of the forum has to come at the cost of someone else's. And it does not make it OK to label anyone a bully just because the OP isnt getting what they want.

I was so deeply disturbed by all the passive aggressive attacks at me and Celeste really hit the nail on the head with her second paragraph for what she said. I expect some not so nice comments if I am dishing it out. Cordion and I get into pretty much anything, and if I am dishing it out I expect to get it back. But when I have literally done nothing but give a person answers in a very non-biased way and they make 3 threads because I announced I am closing my PMs... like seriously. I felt like I was living in someone else's delusions. And if we're sharing, then so be it: I have an extremely physically, emotionally, and mentally abusive mother. She was in the mental hospital committed 3 times in 3 years. She was an alcoholic and lived with borderline personality disorder. She would FREQUENTLY make up entire scenarios where my sister and I did things that were wrong, and they were 100% imagined. I mean she would play these things out in her head like a movie and then beat us up for it, or harass us, or belittle us. You wanna talk about not being bullied? one of the reasons I have a chip in my shoulder for injustice is because I called the police and begged for help multiple times growing up as a vulnerable child and nothing was done. One of the reasons I totally cant stand it when people are lying is because I lived with a pathological liar who made us jump through hoops in their imaginary made up world. I work super hard on myself to keep those experiences from trickling into my life and effecting how I treat others. But no amount of therapy and books are going to erase it from who I am. So when I saw this thread it was incredibly triggering to me. To see someone literally make up so much shit about me, going on like I've been horrible, when you all can literally read everything I have ever said to the OP and see I have been nothing but helpful, kind, and neutral... well it made me lose my mind a bit.

OP is right, we all have a story. We all have things we deal with. But I feel like OPs ownance is being put on everyone else to fix their problem. With no consideration to other people's needs, health, well being, or peace of mind.

Sometimes I need to shut off from the community in different ways. I shouldn't have to spend two days defending my personal choice to turn off my PM system. Especially when I so carefully explained all my reasons why. I am so getting tired of the "this person didnt do what I wanted/say what I wanted to hear/ said something I didn't like" = bullying. If I follow you around on the forum, making call out threads about you, consistently talking about you like you're a horrible person, fill your inbox with obsessive messages... well you know I think that fits the defintion of harassment and bullying just a little better. One thing you can usually tell from all my time on mernetwork. When I am intentionally saying something rude to someone, it's pretty damn obvious.

Anyway, thanks guys again for just speaking up. This whole thing threw me for a loop. I think I will still take my social media break come April. I just feel really worn down and unappreciated in the community. I'm not saying I need a bunch of praise or anything, but what you're seeing here from this OP? I get emails like this, messages like this, from total strangers... all the time. It gets to wearing a person down. And then there's a few other people in my life (not on the forum but part of the community) who are actually affecting my every day life with sean with how much they are trying to take advantage of the two of us and putting boundaries down right now is what I am doing to try and stay sane and healthy. So I really appreciate the understanding and support. <3

[Mermaid Harmony]

Raina, you said "this person didnt do what I wanted/say what I wanted to hear/ said something I didn't like" = bullying
That's tumblr in a nutshell (for when it gets crazy, and someone is triggered/offended out of something random, but didn't tell anyone, and not everyone reads everything so how are we supposed to know people's triggers)
Let's please please not have that on this forum, because that would totally ruin it for me. yuck.
And, girl, you've got more patience than me for writing all that. I appreciate all that you post and how much you've spread awareness into our community, I'm sorry your feeling berated and overwhelmed. :-(

[Dancing Fish]

I ran a forum a looooong time ago (15+ years, dang) and got a little of this myself, but never to this extent. It does really get you down. The weirdest part is the people who just jump in and treat you like you're their closest friend. It's like something about the internet and forums means instant intimacy to some people. And I've had that experience of the person who jumps out and bites your head off for being late, and tries to manipulate people with guilt trips. It's probably why I have a hard time making friends on forums now, because I'm so leery of putting much of myself out there anymore.

I also wonder if (and now I'm going to sound like SUCH an old fart) this generation isn't as aware of etiquette and expectations for attention from others, simply due to the instant feedback they get from texting their friends. I have students who get riled up if I don't email them back within a few minutes (!!), and students who get annoyed when I tell them I can't be their personal tutor (I have 150-300+ students any given semester). They react to the suggestion of turning off their phones (to study) with horror-- their friends will freak out if they don't get an instant answer to their text! And wow, I really have to try not to get snarky with the eightieth student who asks a question that is clearly answered in the syllabus.

But I have had borderline autistic students before as well, and they generally react very well to me gently explaining rules of etiquette for addressing a professor, speaking during class without being disruptive, and following posted office hours. Some of my better students have fallen into this category. But here's the thing: they get a pass for disrupting the class the first few times. Then it's up to them to adjust their behavior if they want to continue attending class. Because class time isn't just for them but for everyone, and they understand that. I hope that happens in this case and that my advice isn't taken as a personal attack, or seen as condescending.

Sounds like you definitely need some personal time! *hug* I know you weren't asking for reassurance or praise but I think you're awesome. :) Hope to see you back soon. (and happy 10,000 post, LOL!)

[MermaidMerida]

Okay jumping back in here now that I am home from work I 100% do have a documented disability and have struggled with overreaction issues and other things since I was very young so I know exactly what Im talking about when I say I think she does have asbergers because her behavior is indicative of it and all Im saying is alot of these responses come off as nasty and mean and while Im sure thats not the intention thats how they sound. Also to those who are acting like we are both young little children who are behaving badly that is seriously rubbing me the wrong way but Im trying my hardest not to go off about it because I am a grown adult of 27 years and am trying to behave as such considering what happened in the other thread

I am gonna swim away from this thread now because I dont want any more drama and Raina Im sorry you feel so worn down and I hope you enjoy your break

[AniaR]

Also to those who are acting like we are both young little children who are behaving badly that is seriously rubbing me the wrong way but Im trying my hardest not to go off about it because I am a grown adult of 27 years and am trying to behave as such considering what happened in the other thread No one is acting that way. we're saying you're new to the forum. And I think she referenced only being 16, that is young compared to many people on this site.

[MermaidMerida]

No one is acting that way. we're saying you're new to the forum. And I think she referenced only being 16, that is young compared to many people on this site.
If that was the case then I apologize but some of the responses felt very condescending thats all

[Elle]

yhdeksänneksisadanneksiyhdeksänneksikymmenenneksik ahdeksanneksi

[PearlieMae]

I think Elle sums it up perfectly.

[Merperson Danny]

I also wonder if (and now I'm going to sound like SUCH an old fart) this generation isn't as aware of etiquette and expectations for attention from others, simply due to the instant feedback they get from texting their friends. I have students who get riled up if I don't email them back within a few minutes (!!), and students who get annoyed when I tell them I can't be their personal tutor (I have 150-300+ students any given semester). They react to the suggestion of turning off their phones (to study) with horror-- their friends will freak out if they don't get an instant answer to their text! And wow, I really have to try not to get snarky with the eightieth student who asks a question that is clearly answered in the syllabus.
You are so right. I am actually ashamed I have to be part of that generation. Our SPHE teacher was talking about addiction and said to our class, "How would you react if you couldn't use your phone for a weekend?", and everyone but me and two of my friends freaked out! They were acting like it was the end of the world! My mum always tells me, "Start using your phone! How else are you going to talk to (insert name here)?" and I just tell her I prefer talking to people in real life, and not wasting money just to show my friend a funny clip of someone twerking. People really need to start living in real life, going outside and seeing things not on a computer screen.