Our growing community

[Ashe]

I remember in 2011 when I first saw a video of Hannah Fraser swimming in the ocean. So much beauty and grace, and I wanted to be a part of her world.
I found that there was a whole community of people who wished for the same thing, and achieved it.
I learned a lot about this little band of people, and considered myself to be one of them even though I never talked with them.
But then, I found MerNetwork.

I couldn't believe how wonderful it was for there to be a place where all of these beautiful people could talk, share experiences, stories, get advice, rant, laugh, and simply be a community.
I had to join in officially.
My understanding of this mermaid world expanded, and the people I talked to helped it to become a part of me.
I shared my own experiences.
Documented my own adventures.
I talked with tailmakers, familiarized myself with them as there were only a few.
I cheered others on as they did for me, and our little community was warm and cozy.

But mermaids are getting popular - very popular.
Everyone seems to have a tail nowadays, but who holds the true heart of a mermaid?
There are new members each day, far too many to keep track of.
This is not to say that none of them are one with the community, but the conflict that followed them worries me.
There are arguments, disagreements, drama, and hate.
Misunderstanding? Or deliberate turmoil?
People create issues that were never supposed to be there.
I feel as if we've been torn apart.
Torn apart by the growing community.

I've lost my mermaid soul twice before, but I've always been brought back by the compassion of the other mermaids.
But now, I rarely see that love and kindness.

Where did the tight-knit community of the mermaids go?
Are they lost?
Or are they hidden amongst the crowd of those simply swimming in a tail?

Maybe this is a phase, like vampires and werewolves.
As much as I'm glad merfolk are being understood better, I wish that we would stop growing, even if just for a short while.
I miss everyone.
I miss how our little band of mermaids used to be.
And I hope I'm not the only one who feels this way.

[Elle]

:thumbs-up:

Well said

[AniaR]

Beautifully reflected :) it is so nice to have you back on here.

[Ashe]

Thank you very much you two. Regretfully, it is something that I have been meaning to get off of my chest for a while, but I feel as if now would be a suitable time to do so. I hope that no one takes my words the wrong way as this is was created in hopes that everyone could step back for a second and see how much we've changed, for better and for worse.

[AniaR]

It was really apparent to me at merfest. Good and bad growth. I was happy for certain things but I missed the intimacy ya know?

[Ashe]

I completely understand. I remember talking for hours with people on the chat. We would go mad with using different colors and smilies, talk about our day and our tails, and even though that is such a minor thing, it's something that I dearly miss. Yes, we may have fabulous new types of tails, movies, photoshoots, but its not the same as it used to be. We all used to know each other's names.

[AniaR]

I try to get to know who I can here but it has become more transient I guess? A lot come... A lot go! And I'm a lot more sporadic now too. My schedule is all over the place

[Merman Arion]

I honestly feel like the forum's atmosphere kind of changed. It's just not the same. Lots of newbies and many of the veterans here left or just stopped coming. Not that it's wrong, though. I'm all for newcomers and a growing community :)

To me, the vibe is just different. Nobody even use the chat anymore.
The list of your sisters and brothers gone is long. I wonder where is everyone and what are they currently doing? For some of them, I know life and the mermaid business have taken over once they got their silicone tails so they are just fairly busy. Others are watching over but not posting much. I guess I'm missing the small moments when they reply and share their experiences/opinions.

Mermaid Syrena, Thalassa, Rayeblonde, Mermaid Octavia, Ariadne, Deepblue, Seavanna, Blaze, Blondie, Mermaid Varshana, Phoenix Mermaid, Mermaid Summer, Miyu, Lyna, Mermaid Cecelia, Mermaid Caspiana, MermanZen, Kailani, Mermaid Citrine, Mermaid Dottie, MermaidHyli, Alveric, WavyMermaidy, ....

And I'm pretty sure there are more. Oh well.. *sigh*

:shame:

[Echidna]

^^
deepblue is around now and then.
I wondered about the others you mentioned, and where they went.

Oh well.
Expect the community to grow even more in the future, the mercraze in Europe has barely begun.

Just now, a backwater german town pool announced on FB,
"!!!!WOO! The hip US Trend Mermaiding has reached us!
Now every gal can make her dream come true with our courses!", ironically a few days after I asked them if mermaids are allowed, and got the response, "no one needs such a $hit!"
Guess I forgot to mention that it's a cool US Trend :rolleyes:

Depending on how lasting the current people's attention span is, the trend will of course fade over time.
Then, only the people who really love it and who were there before it was a trend will be left.
I guess that's the time you're looking forward to ;)

[SeaGlass Siren]

I did notice a change too but I assumed that everyone had their own little life episodes going on offline.
I haven't been posting or replying as often because I'm doing grown up stuff at the moment but when I feel the need I'll pop by and check every once in a while.

And like Arion mentioned, There's also the fact that some Mers dropped off the face of the planet (what happened to kanti?) I know morticia is still around but doesn't post as often ...

[Mermaid Kelda]

I think every community is going to be somewhat transient. There have always been members who disappear, and while there is a core group who have stuck around, there are plenty of people who have added a lot to the community. Take Pearlie for example; she's a relatively new member, but is committed and valued on the forum. People will come and go, but that's not to say we won't gain fantastic new people!

[Mermaid Sirenia]

I agree, it has changed especially over the past year. I do miss the people that don't come on as often, I still remain welcoming to the newbies though :) I just miss the way it was sometimes, like Arion said it had a completely different feel to it than it does now

[Lucinda]

I'm fairly new myself, but it seems to me that part of the problem is that this community has a reputation of being highly supportive and accepting. In its own right, that's a good thing. But there appears to be a certain category of people who join and think that because of this, they are entitled to adoration and continuous attention or assistance (and in some cases, money from other members). And when others don't play ball, that's when the accusations start to fly. If only these people could cast aside this sense of entitlement and instead be open to the unique ideas and opportunities that mermaiding have to offer.

[AniaR]

Amen Lucinda

[Merman Arion]

I second that.

AMEN :meditation:

[Nyx]

I feel like a lot of mers have moved from being active on Mernetwork to being more active in Facebook groups?
There's only barely even a handful of mermaids from my pod that still get on here.
Actually the only one I can name right now is Shimmygoddess.
I myself am not as active as I'd like to be in the community. I'm pretty shy, but thankfully overcoming it thanks to the overwhelming feeling of openness and acceptance from y'all!

[BayouMermaid]

I agree with what Nyx said. A lot of people are using facebook now to connect with others.

[Ashe]

Lucinda, I think you nailed that point.

[Lucinda]

My main advice to newbies: Be patient. When I first joined I felt like I was hardly being noticed by other members, but I told myself that it's a huge forum and that its easy to become invisible in the masses. I said to myself "just be polite and keep doing your thing and people will eventually respond in kind". While enthusiasm is a lovely thing, there's also such a thing as overwhelm. Give people a little space. Accept that people might not always have the time or the energy to respond.

I would also like to remind people that all this is for free. You can become a member for free, read other members' advice for free or watch a vlog. Raina, for instance, has been giving away tips for free in the form of her vlogs. She's done far more for the community than she's had an obligation to. If fact, nobody has any obligation here to cater to anyone. Just by being here, people are reaping rewards from other people's work without paying a dime (unless you've donated). Think of this place more as an impromptu tree-house club than a five star hotel.

[Yulia]

I've always felt a bit leftout from mernetwork, "the odd one out". Far away from everyone else, not having a tail (not that you have too, but you know)
Mernetwork is as much taking as it is giving, as a new member with little experience it's hard to join such a fused community of people.
Some new members have gone so far in such a little time though! (Looking at Pearlie and Arion who joined almost the same time as me)
I'm a bit careful when it comes to meeting new people, especially new people that I look up to. I don't want to anger them or be in the way. I rarely feel like I do good enough.
That's maybe why I haven't been that active as I could have.
No one really likes that clingy cousin that wants all your toys and time, y'know?

But sometimes I do get the feeling that I am a valid part of mernetwork, and that mernetwork is a valid part of me, and that makes me very happy.
I would call many of you here my friends, and I hope that some of you would do too.

Cheers to all coming years of Mernetwork!

https://subexile.files.wordpress.com/2010/09/backstage21.gif

[PearlieMae]

Yulia, I'm going to call you Alex from now on. That gif is great!

[SeaGlass Siren]

Hello clockwork orange.

[Echidna]

I've always felt a bit leftout from mernetwork, "the odd one out". Far away from everyone else, not having a tail (not that you have too, but you know)

You're not that far away (unless you mean far away from the US, where all the shizzle is. The whole of Europe is a bit far away in that regard).
To me, you're the first mermaid in Sweden that I knew of.

Also, I don't think it matters so much how long one has been a member, but how one has behaved in that time.
If someone's nice and friendly, they become regulars right away in my book.

I simply avoid the not-so-nice guys...and it's irrelevant if they've been here since the Mesozoicum, that doesn't make them nicer or worth more than others :p

[Yulia]

Also, I don't think it matters so much how long one has been a member, but how one has behaved in that time.
If someone's nice and friendly, they become regulars right away in my book.

True true.

[shimmygoddess]

I agree 100x with everything that has been posted. When I first got interested in mermaiding it was from a photo of a Mertailor tail I saw online and I wanted one strictly for a photo shoot. I started doing research on mermaids and tails and found this forum and have been a member since early 2012. I wasn't too active, but would get on occasionally to check stuff out. Then I met some other local mermaids on here and we started our pod in Spring of 2013. There has been alot of drama in our pod and I chose to pull away from some and focus on my own goals and success. I have learned that while some are smiling and talking to you, they have sent a minion to stab you in the back when you are not looking. I have dealt with being lied to, personal attacks, unethical behavior, and downright disrespect, but I continue to focus on the positive and move on and keep doing new and creative stuff. There is so much more to 'being a mermaid' then buying an expensive tail. It is empathy, kindness, love, caring, ect. and what you can offer to people. There are many truly wonderful, inspirational, and awesome people in our community. But there are some that only care about status and being recognized or 'popular'. They only care about themselves and will step on others in their rise to the top. They envy what they don't have and purposely try to sabotage your successes. Alot has changed over the years and will continue to change.

[Ashe]

Ouch Shimmygoddess, sounds like you've been through some really crappy stuff within the community. I'm sorry :(

[shimmygoddess]

Ouch Shimmygoddess, sounds like you've been through some really crappy stuff within the community. I'm sorry :(

Thanks. It was pretty bad in the beginning. It wasn't only me though. And when we voiced our opinions, we were made to look like the bad guys because we spoke up. It is really sad that when people are tired of taking shit from others and are being disrespected and walked all over, when they finally speak up people just think they are being 'bitchy' or the bully. I have said this many times, but the mermaid community has way more drama then my bellydance community. LOL. This is why I do my own thing.

[Maethor]

I've always felt a bit leftout from mernetwork, "the odd one out". Far away from everyone else, not having a tail (not that you have too, but you know)
Mernetwork is as much taking as it is giving, as a new member with little experience it's hard to join such a fused community of people.
Some new members have gone so far in such a little time though! (Looking at Pearlie and Arion who joined almost the same time as me)
I'm a bit careful when it comes to meeting new people, especially new people that I look up to. I don't want to anger them or be in the way. I rarely feel like I do good enough.
That's maybe why I haven't been that active as I could have.
No one really likes that clingy cousin that wants all your toys and time, y'know?

I agree with this completely. When I joined in April 2013 (almost the exact same time as Arion), I felt young and annoying and unwelcome, so I avoided posting much. After two years, I still feel like I'm overstepping my bounds every time I post, even if it is just something simple. I know some of you feel that growth is bad and that an original group of you has dispersed, but many of us have been around that whole time.
I'm not trying to say that this is anyone's fault, but I do hope you can see this from the perspective of an outsider.. even if I'm not really on the outside.

[MerShellly]

@Maethor- No! Don't feel afraid to post! :hug::hug::hug:

[Maethor]

@Maethor- No! Don't feel afraid to post! :hug::hug::hug:
Aww thanks!! I'm trying to post more!

[Skytroque]

I tend to say hi in chat every night (well, if you're US it's night) and especially for things like merfolk, which falls under both a performance art and a cosplay in my mind. I'll treat you with respect if you treat me with respect, it's that simple. And it appears to operate that way here, for the most part. I have very little to talk about in terms of deep discussions, as I don't know that much. And I feel my costume making isn't up to snuff, but that's more "stuck in my own head" deal. But I have found it very warm and welcoming since I joined, I feel a fairly tight-knit community, though that's largely, I think, due to the regular 10(at most) that are ever on chat when I am. Also: completely agree with Lucinda, I see that across various communities, especially MMOs. "Hi I'm new here, friend told me you're all nice, now do x y and z for me" -.- sigh. Honestly, regardless of how much I like something, if the community isn't good, I keep searching for clearer waters, until I find a good one. For the vast majority - this one is good.

[Mermaid Melanie]

Aww yeah ... I was away for a while and when I came back there were so may new people I didnt have a clue who half the people posting were ! I guess as things grow here people will become less connected but hopefully more great additions to the forum will happen too !

[Theta]

I've been around pretty consistently since MerYuku, but I tend to lurk in addition to being on the grumpy side of the outer fringes of things (anyone can tell you that I have never gone in for the rainbow farts vibe, and most of the time, rather than deal with that I walk away.) I think we've got a pretty solid community, even if the people that form that core come and go. Nothing in this world is static. Newbies become core members and older members drift off to do other things. It's what makes the world go round :) That being said, it seems like there have been an influx of newbies lately. Did a mermaid movie come out that I missed? Doesn't matter, as they'll sort themselves out. They'll either stick around or get lost.

Regardless, I think I'll be around for a long time to come. You know, lurking, sarcastic and cranky in a corner. So when you want to put your grumpy pants on, come find me. I love you guys.

[PearlieMae]

(snip)...
Regardless, I think I'll be around for a long time to come. You know, lurking, sarcastic and cranky in a corner. So when you want to put your grumpy pants on, come find me. I love you guys.

I KNEW you were my people!

[Sherielle]

I've always felt a bit leftout from mernetwork, "the odd one out". Far away from everyone else, not having a tail (not that you have too, but you know)
Mernetwork is as much taking as it is giving, as a new member with little experience it's hard to join such a fused community of people.
Some new members have gone so far in such a little time though! (Looking at Pearlie and Arion who joined almost the same time as me)
I'm a bit careful when it comes to meeting new people, especially new people that I look up to. I don't want to anger them or be in the way. I rarely feel like I do good enough.
That's maybe why I haven't been that active as I could have.
No one really likes that clingy cousin that wants all your toys and time, y'know?

But sometimes I do get the feeling that I am a valid part of mernetwork, and that mernetwork is a valid part of me, and that makes me very happy.
I would call many of you here my friends, and I hope that some of you would do too.

Cheers to all coming years of Mernetwork!

I get that feeling too, Yulia. I know I'm still considered a newbie, but I have very much enjoyed Mernetwork since I found it last year. For the most part, it's been a place of humor and support and positive things.

[Theta]

I KNEW you were my people!

YES! We are people :) Can we be friends please? I've been an ardent admirer of your snark for a long time now.

[Mermaid Momo]

I've been around since yuku and I'm not really that well known in the community. I used to be very active but now, I hardly ever respond to anything. I mostly lurk. Now a lot of the topics on the forum have jumped to professional mermaiding and silicone or realistic tails and when none of that applies to you, you get left out of the convo. (And I got busy with school and mental issues as you may know if you've been to the mental health issues thread in a bit). The community has just shifted so much from what it used to be that now a lot of the content doesn't apply to me and I don't have any real way to contribute to a conversation/ thread.
I have Phoenix Mer on facebook and she's just been busy with her business and family things, she gets on every now and then though, but we mostly use our pod facebook group because then a lot more of the threads pertain to more of the members.

[SeaGlass Siren]

Momo i totally hear you. the professional mermaiding thing doing apply to me either. but it's quite fun to lurk around and post rubbish from time to time :P

[Mer-Crazy]

o.O I never realised I joined so close to the same time Arion and Pearlie did! I always look at them and go 'yeah, mernetwork veterans right there. Everyone knows who they are.' Whilst I feel like most people don't know me like I'm a little newbie still, which is primarily my own fault, I tend to lurk more than interact :)

[AniaR]

it's funny you who consider yourselves newbies I totally dont see you as that lol.

I think a lot of us were younger and in different places when we started on here. I am 29 now and I think I have been using a mer forum in one way or another since I was 21 or 22? And holy crap life has changed so much since then. I used to comment on pretty much every thread. But now I only comment on things that are of interest to me or pop out to me. I just don't have time to meet new mers and the amount of new ones we have coming in I find it too hard to keep up with.

I've known of Momo for years and follow her stuff online and I follow a lot of mernet people on tumblr or instagram which I enjoy. But I also think I am just overwhelmed with mermaid content. THERE USED TO BE NOTHING OUT THERE So anytime someone found something new on the internet it was all we talked about for days. Now we all get spammed the same crochet tail and lose our minds hahaha.

But you know back before it was big I never felt like I was just embraced into the community. I was a shit disturber right from the start lol. But I found it was personally me going out and reaching out to others that helped me make connections. Take Raven and I for example. She's one of my best friends and has a tail making company now all because I got a shitty tail and she offered to fix it. PEOPLE FORGET WE STARTED OUT HATING EACH OTHER. But one day I just reached out to her and realized she kicked so much ass and just got to know her. I think if you want friends on here it's important to reach out and make personal connections. I think it was that way even from the start. So many people know me and I think the entire reason I am seen as a more well known mer is because I tried to make as many personal connections with people as I could

I'm sad I havent been able to sustain some but hey, I've been friends with Lexi (aka alexandrian) on here since pre meryuku days she made me my first top and we featured her in tail flip magazine. I have been friends with Iona now for years too. I have a few close connections in the community and then everyone else I feel is more an extension as acquaintances. People I'd like to get to know but I just dont have the time so I hope some day I will.

I think the constant entitlement really gets to me, and I also find 99% of the time when I get a message or a PM from a mer there isnt even an introduction... it's just them asking me for something or asking me to get involved in some drama. So I've pulled away a lot. I post a lot sure. But I am not connecting with people like I used to. You just get used up.

So I think there's a few things that have to happen to make the community feel a bit more welcoming to people:

- New members gotta read forum rules and etiquette so they arent turning old members off.
-new and old members gotta be sure to reach out to each other and not just replying to a thread
-people have to not take things personally that aren't
-maybe we need more community projects (like the old contests we used to run) to bring people together and more events like Secret Santa
-I think it's appropriate to ask questions on the forum but I'd personally rather people didnt jump to private messaging strangers unless they've been invited to you know? A lot of mers avoid here or left here because they were hounded so much. And I KNOW It's a reason why many bigger name mers dont come here (they've told me) it makes it feel like paparazzi almost except instead of that pic they want the info.

And really for better or for worse the mermaid community is just exploding and we're getting all types of people now. I felt early on we really only got people who were die hard passionate. Now we have people who are semi interested and trying it out. There's nothing wrong with that at all. It just makes for a different atmosphere.

[Onyx Jewel Catfish]

I am new! Sorry but Money, Time, and Life Events made it so I could not follow my dreams, let alone Chase them. I now have the most amazing Husband that in all his power pushes me to do just that! Chase my Dreams! I may be late in the game but I am learning all I can. I am going to try my best that money and time allow having a new son and all. But this is finally something I want to do for me. I have always done what I was told to do and what others wanted. This is my Creative side. This is what I am doing to make ME happy! I may fail horribly. But people like you Raina make it look possible even for those a lil late to the Party. I don't want to be all paparazzi. but I have watched all the vlogs you have posted to YouTube and you made me think of things I would have never thought about like the Yeast Issues, Excessive sinus infections, how am I gonna get in/out of the Pool with out help. You are a teacher in many ways and Thank You for that!

[Mermaid Momo]

Now we all get spammed the same crochet tail and lose our minds hahaha.


That tail though. that. tail. If one more person PM's me that tail over facebook I will chuck me laptop out the window. Or that mermaid school article.

[Mer-Crazy]

That tail though. that. tail. If one more person PM's me that tail over facebook I will chuck me laptop out the window. Or that mermaid school article.
My friends now have a competition going to see who can send me something mermaid related I haven't seen before haha. So far none have prevailed.

[SeaGlass Siren]

^ oh my god same.

#we'rehipsters

[Mermaid Sirenia]

That tail though. that. tail. If one more person PM's me that tail over facebook I will chuck me laptop out the window. Or that mermaid school article.
I'm either always being sent that or the mermaid school! IM A MERMAID I KNOW ABOUT MERMAID THINGS PEOPLE. Lol you'd think they realize other people have posted it to my profile too!

[Merman Chatfish]

I was named for how much I chat, though lately I have been either busy or too tired to be really active. Darn you depression!

[AniaR]

My friends now have a competition going to see who can send me something mermaid related I haven't seen before haha. So far none have prevailed.


yuuuup me too. everyone sends me the damn mermaid guitar because I play guitar and it's been online for like a decade lol

[Keiris]

That tail though. that. tail. If one more person PM's me that tail over facebook I will chuck me laptop out the window. Or that mermaid school article.

Hahahahhaha Momo! That just makes me laugh!! People keep sending me that same crochet tail pic on Facebook too. Your reaction is hilarious and made my night. LOL

[Mermaid Nerida]

I don't post a whole lot on here, but when I posted a thread about my anxieties, the amount of kind words I got felt really welcoming. People in real life are often taken aback by how I interact with my peers. Recently I decided, screw it, I'm going to say what I need to say, and be who I am. It all got worse. Apparently (as I have been told way too many times) I have a personality where you either love me, or hate me. My point is, though I am by no means well known on here, I was treated the same way as any other mer would be treated, and that made me happy. Thanks to everyone who has supported me, and helped me get over this bridge of life. I'm so glad to be part of this community.

Edit: Sorry I rambled off on a long story. That tends to happen a lot.
Sent from my shell phone under the sea!

[Ashe]

-maybe we need more community projects (like the old contests we used to run) to bring people together and more events like Secret Santa


Exactly what I had in mind. I actually thought up of something really cute but it never got too popular... Check it out and see what you think (http://mernetwork.com/index/showthread.php?10560-Collaborative-photo-album&p=183209#post183209) :)

[Merman Dan]

It was really apparent to me at merfest. Good and bad growth. I was happy for certain things but I missed the intimacy ya know?

We could all use more mer-cuddles. :)

[Sherielle]

In all communities that experience growth, there is always the same scenario. You have the people who have been there from day one. The people who have been there a while and considered 'old school', the newer ones who have just gotten the hang of things, the newbies who are still dazzled by all the newness of their recent discovery and the people who have moved on from that community for whatever reason. It's like that at TRF, at places I have worked, at theaters....everywhere. It's always intimidating to be in a situation where you do not know a thing while others around you chat like old friends. I hate being that. But I know it's a part of community. I just hope that no one thinks I'm annoying and is willing to have my friendship.

[PearlieMae]

I dare ya!

28669

[Mermaid Galene]

lol, Pearlie!

I've been on MerNetwork a year, so I'm not quite a Newbie but not a multiyear veteran (yet). As I've gotten busier with actual mermaid gigs, I've posted less often, but I still lurk and read posts several times a day. I sort of view the dynamics of this forum as a metaphoric ocean with currents and still spots, open water and hidey holes. Folks who have found something of value in this community, something that nourishes them, find a still spot and reside here. That might involve a lot of open posting or dashing out of a virtual den now and then to interact, but these folks are the solid reef foundation of our community. Then there's the ever flowing current of new members who may find a place to settle, or may just float through and disappear. Some move through slowly, some dash in and out. It's an ecosystem here, and I think we will always have these different niches, as any web community does.

What I have observed here that I have not found on other forums, is a feeling of deep, shared wonder and purpose. And even affection. Sometimes it's overshadowed by drama and the confusion of new names and occasionally a plethora of annoying posts from new members, but I think MerNetwork is basically strong. I think our virtual reef community is thriving, and though turbulence is inevitable in any dynamic system, I still feel the core energy that makes us a fellowship of mers.

[Echidna]

Wonderfully said, Galene! So poetic. :mermaid kiss:

...no one's posted the crochet tail on my wall, yet.
They're not talking about my tail, are they? :p

[AniaR]

You hit it galene!

[PearlieMae]

lol, Pearlie!

I've been on MerNetwork a year, so I'm not quite a Newbie but not a multiyear veteran (yet). As I've gotten busier with actual mermaid gigs, I've posted less often, but I still lurk and read posts several times a day. I sort of view the dynamics of this forum as a metaphoric ocean with currents and still spots, open water and hidey holes. Folks who have found something of value in this community, something that nourishes them, find a still spot and reside here. That might involve a lot of open posting or dashing out of a virtual den now and then to interact, but these folks are the solid reef foundation of our community. Then there's the ever flowing current of new members who may find a place to settle, or may just float through and disappear. Some move through slowly, some dash in and out. It's an ecosystem here, and I think we will always have these different niches, as any web community does.

What I have observed here that I have not found on other forums, is a feeling of deep, shared wonder and purpose. And even affection. Sometimes it's overshadowed by drama and the confusion of new names and occasionally a plethora of annoying posts from new members, but I think MerNetwork is basically strong. I think our virtual reef community is thriving, and though turbulence is inevitable in any dynamic system, I still feel the core energy that makes us a fellowship of mers.

Galene is wise. :D

[PearlieMae]

Wonderfully said, Galene! So poetic. :mermaid kiss:

...no one's posted the crochet tail on my wall, yet.
They're not talking about my tail, are they? :p

Naw, it's this blanket...

28675

[malinghi]

It was really apparent to me at merfest. Good and bad growth. I was happy for certain things but I missed the intimacy ya know?

I think the loss of intimacy is both unfortunate and inevitable as more people get interested in mermaiding. As the number of people in this community increases it simply isn't possible anymore to know everyone like it was back when the community was small.

I'm guessing that as mermaiding gets bigger, people will develop smaller subgroups within the community, possibly based on where they live in the world. I'm not suggesting exclusive cliques, that would be bad. But we're already seeing in places that have enough mermaids and mermen to do it, people build communities within the larger community, made of people who can hang out in person regularly, and they can know everyone in those subgroups well.

[Rett]

I was on back then (I just never posted like at all xD ) so I get what you mean. I still like change though, without it things could become slightly dull ;)

[Rett]

I think the loss of intimacy is both unfortunate and inevitable as more people get interested in mermaiding. As the number of people in this community increases it simply isn't possible anymore to know everyone like it was back when the community was small.

I'm guessing that as mermaiding gets bigger, people will develop smaller subgroups within the community, possibly based on where they live in the world. I'm not suggesting exclusive cliques, that would be bad. But we're already seeing in places that have enough mermaids and mermen to do it, people build communities within the larger community, made of people who can hang out in person regularly, and they can know everyone in those subgroups well.
Hehe, might these 'smaller subgroups within the community' be called Pods? ;)

[Mermaid Galene]

:meditation:

Me being wise. (Or at least, a wiseguy.)

[SeaGlass Siren]

Holy shit Galene that was beautiful.

[MermaidLilyRose]

It's a shame that people feel like this, but I totally get it, and as has already been said, it comes with the growth of a community.

I have been a mermaid coming up 3 years now, and I still feel like a newbie on here since I rarely post thanks to having anxiety issues that make me worry that I am going to annoy people with my posts, so I often type something out and then delete it XD but I do lurk and like to keep up with whats going on =P However I'm getting this under control and hop to be much more active in the community in the future =D

In the time I have been a mermaid and been on Mernetwork I have noticed a change in the way the community feels, and its a shame tbh, itd be so much nicer for everyone to feel close and be friends.

For me, this community is amazing and I am so thankful for the people that I have met since being a mermaid. It just sucks that there are people out there who aren't as passionate about being a mermaid as others in the community and think that buying a tail automatically makes them a professional mermaid with a sense of entitlement "/

Any ways, thats my thoughts on the matter, and apologies for the long post haha

[Mer-Crazy]

Okay so something Raina said back on page two has been... not bothering me I suppose, but just causing me to think about it a lot. She said "I felt early on we really only got people who were die hard passionate. Now we have people who are semi interested and trying it out. There's nothing wrong with that at all. It just makes for a different atmosphere." And I've sat here thinking about that for a couple of days now and all I can think is 'Which category do I fall under?'

I mean I don't really want to do kids parties, which seems to be what a lot of people are aiming towards theses days.

I don't have any interest in making tails, though this is mostly due to my utter lack of art skills.

I'm kind of in this small group of people who just want to be a mermaid because it's something I think would be fun. I mean yeah I love the idea of doing public appearances, pulling mermaid pranks on people and you know if I could get an aquarium gig I'd say yes in a heartbeat, but most of these would only be for personal enjoyment (side not I've been writing 'mer' so much recently I just went to write 'mersonal' haha.)

I also don't really have any close friends here on the mernetwork. I've met Kelda in real life once, and she seemed awesome but that's about it. I am kind of worried about ever contacting people personally because I worry I'd be just bothering them. I kind of think most people here are like Raina and just super busy famous people who'd never really have time for a small fish like me, because they've already got their friends.

So I've been wondering what that makes me? Am I die hard passionate? Because although I love this community and the idea of being a mermaid to bits I don't think I'd call myself 'die hard passionate'. But I also feel like I've been here long enough that I'm not just 'semi interested' or 'trying it out' or am I? Really I've only swam in my tail a handful of times and done one photo shoot though this is mostly due to the fact that my tail was far too tight for me to wear comfortably. Maybe I am only semi interested? Even though I feel like I'm more than that...

[SeaGlass Siren]

Selene i feel the same way. after talking to david, i realized i'm more of a hobby-mer than a professional (or what you call 'die-hard') mer. though i have shown up in public thrice in my tail. i've been considering getting a new one but i've put it off. i haven't lost interest, i'm just more focused on "living" like a mermaid. (new house, HOLLAH!)

[Onyx Jewel Catfish]

Congrats On the new House SeaGlass! That is Super Exciting!

[Mermaid Alea]

Most of the time I am not really sure what to say I guess. I don't want to be annoying and ask questions or post too much. :$

The bird forum I am on is always having new people come and veteran members leave. One member that joined not too long ago was so annoying. He was a know it all except he wasn't right about most of the things he said and gave out false/bad advise to other members. He also couldn't accept people telling him he was wrong and would start an argument and whine. I thought he would never change but now I like him as a member and he creates zero trouble. Often you will get a new member that hasn't done their homework before hand and yes they do throw out questions right off the bat. If you think it is bad when people do that with mermaid stuff, just image someone buying birds and then after they have bought them they ask, "What do they eat? How big should their pen be? Can they survive our winter? Is this one a male?"

So while birds and mermaids are not the same thing, they both seem to have similar situations with their forums. On the bird forum new members usually settle into the community and quickly get the hang of how things go, so hopefully that is how it shall go for the influx of new members here, and I hope I am doing okay being a newbie myself. I am still just getting started trying to find time to get in a second swim. :$

[Echidna]

I don't think "die-hard" means professional, or being completely engaged 100% of the time.

I'd interpret it as someone who has this deep, genuine love and interest in mermaids, water, and all it entails, and whatever comes and goes in their life, they always return to this interest at some point.

As supposed to someone who just reads an article, thinks "hey that's cool, I'll try it out" not because it's something dear to their heart, but en vogue/mainstream at the moment.

I'll go further and say, someone who has this deep love for our oceans and water systems, trying to educate about and protect them, is a mermaid even though they don't have a tail, or wear one often.
Astonishing swimmers/divers are often called mermaids, the costume is just an accessoire.

It's cool if people just love to wear the prettiest tail and parade it around, without interest in swimming or aquatic life, but I probably wouldn't feel close to them (as in "mermaid kin").

I'd like to encourage the members saying they mostly lurk to speak up more often, it would be nice to get to know you better.

[Rett]

I don't think "die-hard" means professional, or being completely engaged 100% of the time.

I'd interpret it as someone who has this deep, genuine love and interest in mermaids, water, and all it entails, and whatever comes and goes in their life, they always return to this interest at some point.

As supposed to someone who just reads an article, thinks "hey that's cool, I'll try it out" not because it's something dear to their heart, but en vogue/mainstream at the moment.

I'll go further and say, someone who has this deep love for our oceans and water systems, trying to educate about and protect them, is a mermaid even though they don't have a tail, or wear one often.
Astonishing swimmers/divers are often called mermaids, the costume is just an accessoire.

It's cool if people just love to wear the prettiest tail and parade it around, without interest in swimming or aquatic life, but I probably wouldn't feel close to them (as in "mermaid kin").

I'd like to encourage the members saying they mostly lurk to speak up more often, it would be nice to get to know you better.
Totally agree 100%!!!! Being a 'Die-Hard' Mer doesnt mean you have to be professional at all, it just means that you feel closest at home in the water and that your absolute favorite thing to do is swim (usually, but not always, in a tail). Its more about a deep love for the ocean, water and mermaids/mermen in general, not that you have to be professional.

[Mermaid Galene]

Echidna, yes! Exactly. There's no need for folks to worry about what they should label themselves here, whether they are "die-hard" or not, etc. Those are just words. What everyone is saying, I think, is that the more deeply you feel like a mer, the more of a mer you are. And those who feel deeply mer tend to stay here longer and form closer bonds within the community. But there's room here for all levels of interest in the mer world. That's what makes us an ecosystem.

[Ashe]

I'd like to encourage the members saying they mostly lurk to speak up more often, it would be nice to get to know you better.

Exactly. If lurking is your thing, go on ahead, but if you are worried that you will come off as annoying or post too much, please don't feel that way! Raina has just reached 10,000 posts. 10,000. I'm just past 1,000 and that's counting me taking a year and a half break. I post on many threads even if it's just a 'good luck!' Or 'looks amazing!' I don't believ I am considered annoying at all and you won't either.

Please don't let this thread discourage new members from joining or talking, in no way was it supposed to send that message. We welcome you and your voice in the community!

[AniaR]

When I say diehard passionate I didn't mean wanting to be a mermaid. I meant in their love of mermaids. We used to have a forum that consumed any piece of mermaid media everywhere and the members pretty much did nothing but think of mermaids. We didn't have a just talk area or areas on the forum that didn't have anything to do with mermaids. It was all mermaids all the time. Die hard. Like seatails forum when it was more active. And there's nothing wrong with people diversifying and all types being on the forum. I prefer it. But it also has created a vastly different forum from when I first joined mer yuku. That's all I'm saying.

[Sherielle]

At TRF, we have what I like to call, "Secondyearitis". Definition: When a person first joins the performance company, they are starstruck and giddy with excitement. Then after they have done it for a year, a newer group of perfomers come in. Suddenly, those who were formerly newbies know EVERYTHINGTHEREISTOKNOWABOUTPERFORMINGATTRF!!! and proceed to show off to the newer ones. It's not a bad thing and god knows I've done it myself (to my embarrassment, lol). Also, not everyone does this.
It's all a part of growing pains within a community. Eventually the Secondyearitis goes away and they get more settled in. Until someone in the next group of newbies gets it. And so on and so on.

[SeaGlass Siren]

Aw :) the responses made me smile. I love you guys, I don't feel so bad anymore.

[Merman Dan]

I'd interpret it as someone who has this deep, genuine love and interest in mermaids, water, and all it entails, and whatever comes and goes in their life, they always return to this interest at some point... I'll go further and say, someone who has this deep love for our oceans and water systems, trying to educate about and protect them, is a mermaid even though they don't have a tail, or wear one often.

Works for me! But then again I am an unprofessional recreational merman with a farmer's tan. ;)

I have saltwater aquariums and sea critter tattoos, run an undersea D&D game, and am scuba certified. I see my tail as a physical prothetic that allows others to see me as aI truly am.

[Sammyantha171]

I think the loss of intimacy is both unfortunate and inevitable as more people get interested in mermaiding. As the number of people in this community increases it simply isn't possible anymore to know everyone like it was back when the community was small.

I'm guessing that as mermaiding gets bigger, people will develop smaller subgroups within the community, possibly based on where they live in the world. I'm not suggesting exclusive cliques, that would be bad. But we're already seeing in places that have enough mermaids and mermen to do it, people build communities within the larger community, made of people who can hang out in person regularly, and they can know everyone in those subgroups well.

When I joined here, it was amazing to see all the different pods that there were, with individual parts of the forum for each. It felt like I'd really be able to make connections with mermaids near myself, that I could actually get out to see in person and swim with and chat with face to face about everything mermaidly. I live in the UK, and at the moment all we've got is the Euro pod, which is great, but it covers the entirety of Europe and it made me realize perhaps there really aren't many mers around I'm going to be able to meet with in person.
As we get more and more mers in that pod, eventually it will naturally split into several pods, one for the UK, one for France and one for Spain and one for Norway etc. And that is great too, because it means there'll be many more mers who live in the UK I might be able to meet with and see fairly often. And as mermaiding gets bigger and bigger - I don't know how many truly passionate-about-mermaiding mers there are and how many are just trying it out or that see it as a fun but relatively unimportant hobby - but eventually you might see these pods split up further and further until you could expect to see a separate pod for every major city perhaps, let alone each individual country or state.

But it also means as the pods split up into more location-specific groups, I'm going to be essentially abandoning the more broad groups that cover wider areas and a wider amount of mers. What I've dreamed of since I first saw videos of Hannah Fraser mermaiding, is to be part of my own little group, a little band as you say Kalani :), that I get to regularly see and swim with and just get to share this passion with. If such a group had already existed where I live back in 2011, I would have instantly joined it and most likely not even bothered to join a much bigger forum like this (except maybe to get access to all the amazing information that is provided here), because that local group would be so much more convenient for me, as well as provide what I wanted - to be part of a wonderful pod of mermaids.


I feel like a lot of mers have moved from being active on Mernetwork to being more active in Facebook groups?
There's only barely even a handful of mermaids from my pod that still get on here.


I suppose that's what's been happening with so many older veteran Mernetworkers, is that they no longer need to turn to an online forum of mers around the globe, because they now have exactly what they originally needed this forum to provide in their offline lives or in facebook groups (essentially smaller mernetworks), and that intimacy of just having a little group of connected people is something Mernetwork will struggle more and more with as it becomes bigger. It's a shame, because many of us will no longer get to see or interact with those mers very often anymore, but it's also great that we got the chance to be part of this community with them for however long that was.





Mermaid Syrena, Thalassa, Rayeblonde, Mermaid Octavia, Ariadne, Deepblue, Seavanna, Blaze, Blondie, Mermaid Varshana, Phoenix Mermaid, Mermaid Summer, Miyu, Lyna, Mermaid Cecelia, Mermaid Caspiana, MermanZen, Kailani, Mermaid Citrine, Mermaid Dottie, MermaidHyli, Alveric, WavyMermaidy, ....

And I'm pretty sure there are more. Oh well.. *sigh*

:shame:
I recognize some of these names. I feel ashamed I never interacted with this community so much more in the last few years, because it meant I never got to know these people, even if they eventually would have left for less crowded shores anyway.
That's something I've started fixing, literally in the past week, so I'll be reading and posting a whole lot more from now on. :D It makes me feel so full of life to make mermaiding a much bigger part of it.



I have learned that while some are smiling and talking to you, they have sent a minion to stab you in the back when you are not looking. I have dealt with being lied to, personal attacks, unethical behavior, and downright disrespect.
As for hate and drama, I really can't even imagine what it's like to have to deal with people like this, and I can't say for the mers that may have left because of this, but I suppose I may well be finding out as I become more a part of this big community.

[Gem Stone]

its amusing to think of die hard mermaids on the forum. can you really be a die hard after just a year or two? I mean, it's amazing that some people get to go so far in a short time, but to me, that doesn't mean much. You've been a mermaid/merman for less than a year and you already have a silicone tail and gigs booked up for summer. That's amazing. But I've been a mermaid for ten years this year, and I'm only just now getting a silicone tail.

But sometimes its not about money. Sometimes it's not even about the tail. It's not about posts or how many mers we've met in real life. Being a 'die hard' mermaid, it's about that feeling.

Some might call it freedom. In the past, I have too. Some might call it acceptance, being true to yourself, being who you really are. But it's more than that. It's something I've realized that can't be explained. You either feel it, or you don't. If you've felt it, you know what I'm talking about. If you haven't, this won't make much sense. But as long as you have that feeling everytime you go swimming, tail or not, that deep love for the water that makes you feel something in your soul, that's what makes you a 'die hard' mermaid. because as long as you have that feeling, you won't stop being a mermaid.

yes, you might hang up your tail. I think we all do at some point. but, it's not the tail that makes you a mermaid. I've got four cousins who have tails and say they're mermaids, but they don't have that feeling. You can tell. they aren't die hard memaids. They're playing dress up. They look pretty, they play the part, they love the water, but they don't FEEL it. Two of my cousins were mermaids with me for five years, and now they hardly enjoy swimming anymore. They love saying theyre mermaids, and taking photos in their tails, but theres a difference.

I don't mean to upset anyone by saying you aren't a mermaid at heart. I'm not saying you can't be a 'die hard' mermaid after a short time. I'm saying that as long as we all feel the same thing, as long as the ocean means the same thing, it doesn't matter how big our group grows, how many people come or go, how many gigs you have, how expensive your tail was, or how many times you post. Die hard mermaids are mermaids for life. It's not a passing phase, it's not some cute costume, it's something you feel.

As long as the community has this feeling, I'm alright with it getting bigger. It's hard to know EVERY fish in the sea, but schools are tight, they stick together.

Sorry if this went way off in left field. I rambled a bit in the middle there. I hope my point came back together in the end.

[Raayvhen]

Its been a while since I've posted and I've struggled with wanting to come on here. I remember when I first joined I was lost among everyone that was here before me. Now, I feel like I'm lost among all the new faces. I've never felt completely at home here, but I've never felt like a stranger either. There are people on here that I love and am glad to see them still here, but I don't think anyone feels the same way about me.

Regardless, like its been said before, I will always come back. I will lurk and occasionally post. The people on here who are serious about being here will stay and those who aren't will just become abandoned accounts. (Which should be cleared out IMO.)

[Kishiko]

Its been a while since I've posted and I've struggled with wanting to come on here. I remember when I first joined I was lost among everyone that was here before me. Now, I feel like I'm lost among all the new faces. I've never felt completely at home here, but I've never felt like a stranger either. There are people on here that I love and am glad to see them still here, but I don't think anyone feels the same way about me.

Regardless, like its been said before, I will always come back. I will lurk and occasionally post. The people on here who are serious about being here will stay and those who aren't will just become abandoned accounts. (Which should be cleared out IMO.)

RAAYVHEN! YOURE BACK!!! WHERE YOU BEEN GIRL???

[PearlieMae]

RAAYVHEN! YOURE BACK!!! WHERE YOU BEEN GIRL???

Seconded!

[Raayvhen]

RAAYVHEN! YOURE BACK!!! WHERE YOU BEEN GIRL???

Seconded!

Adulting.

Working ~25 hours a week, doing ~15 hours of school/homework a week, and then filling in life wherever.

Like I said, I tend to lurk.

[Mermaid Alea]

I like the way you put it Gem Stone.

Raayvhen I know I don't really know you but I think you are great I hope you can find time to be on here. ;)

[deepblue]

I honestly feel like the forum's atmosphere kind of changed. It's just not the same. Lots of newbies and many of the veterans here left or just stopped coming. Not that it's wrong, though. I'm all for newcomers and a growing community :)

To me, the vibe is just different. Nobody even use the chat anymore.
The list of your sisters and brothers gone is long. I wonder where is everyone and what are they currently doing? For some of them, I know life and the mermaid business have taken over once they got their silicone tails so they are just fairly busy. Others are watching over but not posting much. I guess I'm missing the small moments when they reply and share their experiences/opinions.

Mermaid Syrena, Thalassa, Rayeblonde, Mermaid Octavia, Ariadne, Deepblue, Seavanna, Blaze, Blondie, Mermaid Varshana, Phoenix Mermaid, Mermaid Summer, Miyu, Lyna, Mermaid Cecelia, Mermaid Caspiana, MermanZen, Kailani, Mermaid Citrine, Mermaid Dottie, MermaidHyli, Alveric, WavyMermaidy, ....

And I'm pretty sure there are more. Oh well.. *sigh*

:shame:


^^
deepblue is around now and then.
I wondered about the others you mentioned, and where they went.

I actually just happened to check in here tonight for the first time (intentionally, that is, there are a lot of computers in my home, and a couple of times I came to check resource threads, I was logged on unintentionally) in ages. I actually decided to leave MerNetwork a while back, for a lot of the reasons Kalani mentioned, and, because I'm not really a fan of forums in general... so it's kind of amazing I was here as long as I have been. Do I miss it? Oh yes. But I feel rather alone here, when it used to feel like this great, watery respite.

I also left because the popularity of mermaids has me very concerned about the growing member list and my need to stay private- which I didn't feel so much before. I have a very disturbed ex and I got wind that he was aware of my mermaidiness, and I'm concerned he will look here. I could be wrong.

Anyway- I miss so many of you. I'm actually casting small scale sheets for the first time, I'm making molds, it's so fun, and going well. And I just turned 45 AND the same day (yesterday) found out that I am PREGNANT! At 45! I was grieving my fertility, and thinking I was off my cycle because of perimenopause, but nope... lol new merbaby on the way, and my BF is thrilled. I'm only six weeks along, so there are many tests and appointments ahead.

I hope you're all well and I am watching the mer community from afar (but in a noncreepy way :p) and still doing my mermaidy thang. I can't help but hope the trend dies out, too... but I've been feeling that way for years, and I don't think it's going to happen anytime soon.

[Mermaid Nerida]

And I just turned 45 AND the same day (yesterday) found out that I am PREGNANT! At 45! I was grieving my fertility, and thinking I was off my cycle because of perimenopause, but nope... lol new merbaby on the way, and my BF is thrilled. I'm only six weeks along, so there are many tests and appointments ahead. .

Aww! Congrats on the mer-baby!!!

Sent from my shell phone under the sea!

[Echidna]

Do I miss it? Oh yes. But I feel rather alone here, when it used to feel like this great, watery respite.
I hope you're all well and I am watching the mer community from afar (but in a noncreepy way :p) and still doing my mermaidy thang. I can't help but hope the trend dies out, too... but I've been feeling that way for years, and I don't think it's going to happen anytime soon.

I didn't know you did de facto leave, of course noted you posted very seldom.
If it hadn't been for you, I might've left MN for good you know.

I hope you stay, or at least lurk and watch ;)

Grats on your family addition, and don't go overboard with the appointments and tests please.
Some do more harm than good.
I've found I stay the healthiest the less I visit doctors of any kind :p

[SeaGlass Siren]

I actually just happened to check in here tonight for the first time (intentionally, that is, there are a lot of computers in my home, and a couple of times I came to check resource threads, I was logged on unintentionally) in ages. I actually decided to leave MerNetwork a while back, for a lot of the reasons Kalani mentioned, and, because I'm not really a fan of forums in general... so it's kind of amazing I was here as long as I have been. Do I miss it? Oh yes. But I feel rather alone here, when it used to feel like this great, watery respite.

I also left because the popularity of mermaids has me very concerned about the growing member list and my need to stay private- which I didn't feel so much before. I have a very disturbed ex and I got wind that he was aware of my mermaidiness, and I'm concerned he will look here. I could be wrong.

Anyway- I miss so many of you. I'm actually casting small scale sheets for the first time, I'm making molds, it's so fun, and going well. And I just turned 45 AND the same day (yesterday) found out that I am PREGNANT! At 45! I was grieving my fertility, and thinking I was off my cycle because of perimenopause, but nope... lol new merbaby on the way, and my BF is thrilled. I'm only six weeks along, so there are many tests and appointments ahead.

I hope you're all well and I am watching the mer community from afar (but in a noncreepy way :p) and still doing my mermaidy thang. I can't help but hope the trend dies out, too... but I've been feeling that way for years, and I don't think it's going to happen anytime soon.
DEEPBLUE I have missed youuuuu!!
I was wondering where you went ;-;
Congrats on the merbebe!

[Merman Dan]

I suppose that's what's been happening with so many older veteran Mernetworkers, is that they no longer need to turn to an online forum of mers around the globe, because they now have exactly what they originally needed this forum to provide in their offline lives or in facebook groups (essentially smaller mernetworks), and that intimacy of just having a little group of connected people is something Mernetwork will struggle more and more with as it becomes bigger. It's a shame, because many of us will no longer get to see or interact with those mers very often anymore, but it's also great that we got the chance to be part of this community with them for however long that was.

Who's to say you can't have both? :) To be honest I found MerNetwork when I was looking for new recruits for my undersea D&D game. Over the course of years I have made new friends, both on merNetwork and the past two NC MerFest gatherings. Last January I approached my local indoor pool with the prospect of merfolk swimming in the pool. They welcomed us with open arms! I feel I belong to many "pods"; a MerNetwork Pod and the Chesapeake Pod sub-group, a MerFest Pod, a Finfolk Pod, the fairly new Triad Merfolk Pod (local), and more!

Two of my daughters have expressed an interest in wearing tails, so here we go again! :)

[NerineArcticMermaid]

I've been a member since the yuku days as well..

It was actally Raina who I found on deviant art that told me about the forum. This place good and bad had been la comfort to me. I've made friends and enemy's (sadly) along the way.

This whole labeling pro, not-pro... it can take a flying leap..

My thought is.. do you love being a mermaid (tail or not)? In my case yes.... I hope someday to swim at my local aquarium..and many other dreams as well.. but I have a human life to deal with.. working 35+ hrs a week..going to school twice a week all day... finishing my bachelor's degree.. so my mermaid dreams take time...
Some how along the way ive discovered ive inspired a few bere and there, made many laugh and enjoyed chatting with people from all over..

I welcome the newbies and miss the veterans who faded away.

[Ashe]

A difference I have noticed amongst mermaids and people with tails is that it is more than often a phase. In middle school when I first discovered mermaids, there were other girls I knew who had tails and we would often swim together. Now, years later, they are embarrased when the subject arises and want little to do with it. But, here I am still in love with it all. Of course, this is in the case of younger pre-teen girls. But, I have met many members who are well into their young adult and adult years who have figured mermaiding as a phase.

As most of us have been made aware of, it has become a trend after all, and trends pass. Hopefully no one will take this the wrong way, but I think that in time this passes and there will be far less people who simply hop in a tail and feel entitled to everything mermaids know.

[Fun123joker]

mine was suppose to be a phase but it just stuck. i found mernetwork off of tumblr. i found a mermaid blogger who is a mer and i just got excited that the comminity is bigger then i thought. so after bothering her i finally joined

[AniaR]

I think I met yyou on tumblr!

[SINicallyTwisted]

I still consider myself a newbie as well. I do pop in as much as I can but I do have a lot going on on my end with my pirate group, artwork, costumes, attending events, home life and of course my job. All keeps me pretty busy. I admit I do lurk as well. When people that ask me questions about mermaid awesomeness and seem genuinely interested, I will mention MerNetwork and encourage them to join and learn as I feel I'm still learning as well. The first 2 things I immediately mention is, Introduce yourself and use that search as much as possible before posting questions. Everymer that I have talked with online has always been kind, which is another reason why I'll name drop MerNetwork however when I see drama I do tend to veer the other direction. Sounds a bit shellfish on my part but I seriously don't have the time to get involved in drama and I don't really like icky negativity. It makes me sad. I guess you could say I'm in my own little world most of the time. Plus I can also be a bit shy too. :$

[Mermaid Alea]

I have been checking out the introduce yourself area today and WOW!! Like 4 people have joined today. I guess I didn't realize how frequently new people are joining.

[MarkF]

Perhaps what has changed over time is the interest or focus of the new members, like are they interested because they want to make a tail and swim or be a professional and do photo shoots or want to belong to a group of fun like minded people. It seemed like the focus was performing and making before, though we have a lot of camaraderie folk now.
For instance I’m here to make a tail and it’ll take me 2 years as life goes. I don’t feel worthy to give myself a mermaid name until the tails finished. That’s my interest, although in almost every thread you see comment relating to another thread that get’s your curiosity up and to catch yourself involved in a topic you’d never thought you’d be in. The Mers that are hurting from something life those at them and they don’t know how to handle or they need an encouraging word from the deep to push on through the day.
Having a business and now realizing how many Mers are working to make a business it’s motivating to me.
I like to lurk while doing invoicing or writing estimates “It’s so boring”


I got an idea, how about beyond Senior to have a new title “Professional” for Mers that are in the business of Mermaiding. That’s group experiences are quite different than the hobbyist Merfolk making them more sensitive to some issues and less so to others. If I were someone wanting to be in entertainment, Raina insight is awesome or creating my own vision of a tail it gotta be the Empress PearlieMae "I still want one of those little tails". What still blow me away is the crazy talent that MerNetwork draws, I mentioned Pearlie my other favorite is the Artisticallytwisted work of Amy “SINicallyTwisted”
K – still have more invoicing to go.
P.S. Facebooks better on the Pics

[Miyu]

Mermaid Syrena, Thalassa, Rayeblonde, Mermaid Octavia, Ariadne, Deepblue, Seavanna, Blaze, Blondie, Mermaid Varshana, Phoenix Mermaid, Mermaid Summer, Miyu, Lyna, Mermaid Cecelia, Mermaid Caspiana, MermanZen, Kailani, Mermaid Citrine, Mermaid Dottie, MermaidHyli, Alveric, WavyMermaidy, ....

And I'm pretty sure there are more. Oh well.. *sigh*

:shame:

...I was mentioned? People miss me? Awwwwww now I'm crying a little :group hug: I love you guys! I'll try to remember to be more active here.

As for my absence... I've been sick with one thing or another since about November. I've had styes left and right, and I've had the same eyelid infection now since Jan 1st, which means I can't wear makeup on that eye, and that of course puts a huge damper on any of my modelling stuff. Both my mertender and I have had near-constant doctor appointments over the past few months, so my schedule has been insane. I've also been putting work into a few side projects, since I haven't been able to do anything modelling-related.

Sometimes I feel like a failure of a mermaid, because I have yet, after all this time, to go swimming in my tail! mermaid Michelle even donated enough to my fundraiser to get my monofin, and I still haven't been able to go swimming... Because I am literally constantly broke. I have not had the money to go swimming, and thus I have not gotten to "progress" on my mermaid journey. I can barely do a dolphin kick, and that only because before I got my own monofin, I got the opportunity to share Morticia's monofin just twice. It's really hard on me hearing how often folks get to go swimming - Morti even gets to go fairly often, and now has a swim pass so she can go whenever she wants, and I'm stuck being landlocked, despite being in an extremely "wet" state. I'm hoping to hear soon from my local community resources person about applying for a scholarship for the pool, but I've been waiting a while on that already. It's really depressing not being able to afford the $6 to go swimming. I haven't swam since last February! And because of all the health issues myself and my mertender have been having, we haven't been able to get out to do a photoshoot since a year ago.

So I guess I don't get on MN often because it kind of makes me sad and feel like less of a mermaid when I get to see everyone else's adventures, and new tails - just about everyone I remember joining around the same time as has at least one silicone tail now... And I'm still trying to help raise funds for Morticia's silicone tails (because yes, I get a prototype if we ever raise the funds).


Also, I agree about the new "hobbyist"/"just-a-phase" members asking lots of questions easily answered by a search, or feeling entitled to things... Kind of drives some of the more "serious"/veteran mers away, because it does get tiring saying the same things over and over to people in the community (especially when so many of the veteran mers lurked for ages, reading through EVERY thread, before mermaiding got really popular).

[Mermaid Alea]

I am sorry about your health problems Miyu! :( I used to get styes a lot in high school and one I messed with and it gave me a permanent scar on my eyelid. Mine never really hurt, but they were ugly and made me feel very self conscious. I wanted to wear an eye patch! The first prom I went to I got a stye the week of prom and had to go to prom with a big stye on my eyelid. Luckily I was able to keep a hot compress on it and make it get smaller before I went to prom. I really hate styes!!! I don't get them anymore so hopefully this is just a temporary thing you are going through. I found out that several people in my family went through a time in their life where they would get styes a lot, so I guess it just runs in the family unfortunately.

I hope you can swim soon!

[SeaGlass Siren]

I'm in the same boat you're in miyu. No chance for swimming because of other priorities/ obligations.
But it doesn't make you any less a mermaid

[Thalassa]

I'm still here! ;-) As with others, I'm lurking. I don't post as much because I have a bit more of a handle on what I'm doing (fewer questions), am in RL or Facebook contact with the mers I swim with, and...you know, career and stuff.

I also feel like I don't have that much to contribute. I'm not interested in making my own tail, not terribly crafty (I'd rather buy a quality piece than ruin one), so I have nothing to tell people asking about that. I still don't feel like I'm a strong underwater performer, so not qualified to answer questions about that. The things I do know (like kids), I feel that questions get better answered by other mers who know so much more (like Raina), or what I'd say has already been stated. A bunch of stuff (like religious, sex, and gender stuff) I feel a very small minority and just don't feel like debating my opinion (my opinion won't change, and I don't want to offend). So that leaves a small number of threads to post in, and there's only so many times you can say, "That's beautiful!" or "Welcome!" before people start wondering if a bot has taken you over. ;-P

I'll try to post more, but rest assured that I am watching. Aaaalways waaatching. ;-)

[Mermaid Octavia]

Mermaid Octavia

Hi Arion! I'm still here~ (and grats on your second tail you lucky fish, you.)

So much has happened in my land-life. Sister was in and out of the hospital for 6 months (3 times that I know of [suicide attempts and threats]), had to move because of her, land-family kind of fell apart. :/ Oh well. At least I still have you guys~

I'm still saving up to ship off my tail for alterations and I'm still swimming. You can always ping me on FB, silly man. ;)

[Morticia Mermaid]

I'm still around :D I just tend to lurk a lot, plus have been super busy with day to day life and putting together orders as well. I'll be more active the close to summer it gets ^_^

[Shipwrecked Blue]

Ever since I was a little girl, I believed I was a mermaid. I have never owned a tail, and I am not great at swimming. I've always just worn starfish in my hair, seashell necklaces, blue glitter everything. I even had a mermaid wedding. Yet, I feel like I don't belong in this group, because of the people who put so much emphasis on swimming with an expensive tail. I honestly just want to talk to other mermaids and mermen and have fun and feel accepted. I've been registered here for almost three years, but I have barely gotten to speak to anyone.

[SeaGlass Siren]

Shipwreck, you got a friend in me!
I don't swim well, and I also had a mermaid wedding.
If you want we can talk :)

[Mermaid Kelda]

You only have 17 posts - there are plenty of active members here who don't have silicone tails, and some who don't even swim. But they post a lot, and get involved with discussions on this and that. You don't have to be a professional to make friends here, but you do have to be active. Try posting in your pod if you want to go to a meet up (you don't have to have a tail to do so!) or see if there's a facebook group for your area and make friends there. I've always found that this is a welcoming community, but you have to put yourself out there. People won't come to you. If you can do that, you'll have tonnes of wonderful friends here :)

[Keiris]

Hi Shipwrecked Blue! Don't feel discouraged! Any kind of friendship takes a 50/50 input. Feel free to join some of the discussions that interest you so people can get a feel for your personality. It doesn't matter whether you own a tail! That just gives people a common ground for discussion. I'm sure there's a lot more to you than a few scales! ;)

[Seatan]

I went away for awhile, but not because I disappeared somewhere else or because I'm not a mer anymore... Rather I got a second job, and I have had no time. I am SO happy the summer is coming, and though I've put my silicone tail on hold (despite having half the scales made and the fluke sculpted), I am in the process of making myself a neoprene tail. I LOVE YOU GUYS and this is still my favorite forum, even if there are lots of new people joining. I don't think mermaids is as big as vamps or weres (thank goodness!), and I will always appreciate the awesome friendships from this awesome forum!!!

[Seatan]

Ever since I was a little girl, I believed I was a mermaid. I have never owned a tail, and I am not great at swimming. I've always just worn starfish in my hair, seashell necklaces, blue glitter everything. I even had a mermaid wedding. Yet, I feel like I don't belong in this group, because of the people who put so much emphasis on swimming with an expensive tail. I honestly just want to talk to other mermaids and mermen and have fun and feel accepted. I've been registered here for almost three years, but I have barely gotten to speak to anyone.

I don't think anyone here thinks of having an expensive tail as the gateway to mermaidhood--I had a silicone tail and sold it. It's just something many people want, so it gets talked about a lot! Being a mermaid is about how you feel about mermaids, not how much you swim or anything like that. Just post post post and you will be a well known and regarded member before you know it! Being registered doesn't help people get to know you, talking to them will, and this is one of the friendliest, kindest forums I know, even if it does have the occasional bit of drama, usually centered around a certain tailmaker. *coughcough*

[Ashe]

Haha, I was the one who created this thread (it took a different turn than I thought) but I am no where close to a silicone tail! While I dream, I know its a ways off. Heck, I barely have a tail anymore as of now :P
What I'm trying to say is (and I know Seavanna covered it) I have only encountered a few people who have considered people with expensive tails as quality merfolk. It's silly, but some people do tend to think that way. But here on MerNetwork, I think we're all together in knowing that it is definitely not the case. Tail or not, we're all mermaids and mermen!

[Moongazer]

When I first joined, I noticed that the forum was friendly, active and engaging. Not that it's not like that now, but its bigger and its hard to be friendly and welcoming to everyone that joins. Things change, people change.

I've sort of excluded myself since I sold off my mermaid creations tail. And my previous mertailor tail is being revamped. I guess I feel like I have to bring something to the table to be 'accepted?' I know thats a weird way of thinking, but being born into a big family, you only really got attention if you excelled at something... Since I don't have anything else to do with mermaids, besides owning a tail and wanting to swim like one all the time, I feel like I can't help the forum or that I'm just another 'person following the fad'. It doesnt help that everytime my parents see me they make fun of me for owning a tail haha.

I'm also not that graceful at text and I feel like a lot of the time I come off as too blunt or too emotionless.

Short story, I guess my own short comings have made me exclude myself from the forum.

[azaiya]

I read a lot of this thread! Not all of it, but Kalani's first post resonated with me deeply, and I wanted to post.

I've been drawn towards mermaids my whole life and really couldn't understand why. I felt like I was crazy! I felt like I had a mermaid's heart.

But when I first got a computer of my own (I was too scared to search on my family's PC!) and access to the internet, I found I wasn't alone! I saw pictures of Hannah Frasier. I think I chanced upon some pictures of Raina in a tail on DeviantArt after that. If there is one gift of the internet, it is that it brought us all together to share our experiences, stories, and growth, and allowed us to connect with people who dream in the ways that we do, no matter how strange or isolated we feel.

I was a mermaid! I decided.

But like Yulia and a few others have mentioned, I've never really felt like I've belonged here. I don't have a tail. I don't know if I want one. It is complicated, but one of the biggest things that stop me are that I'm a very private person. I have great anxieties and low-self esteem. Over time, everything seemed to become about tails, tails, tails! How important the experience of having one was, especially a nice one, and how wearing one in public would help me get over all of my insecurities. I am not a person that wants to draw attention to them self. I have a complicated personal identity and body dysmorphia. I want to hide in deep, cool, quiet sanctuaries out of the reach of humans. That's why I'm a mermaid.

I am a shy person, and when there are too many people and too much energy in the room, I often retreat. It's why I mostly lurk here.

So, do I have to have a tail to be a mermaid? I feel like I do now! I feel a little bit like part of my identity was stolen from me by a pop culture trend, just like in school where I wasn't 'cool' if I sat at the the wrong table at lunch or wore the wrong clothes.

There are so many "professional" mermaids now. Why do there need to be so many? (Though some of you are quite lovely and have great spirits of kindness) I really do ask this because I don't understand why this seems like a goal for a lot of people —to be a professional — rather than just to love or appreciate an experience and share it?

If anything, this thread makes me realize there are a lot of people here I wish I knew better, I just don't know where I fit. Human identity is vast and complex.

I'm going to read the rest of the thread now! Sorry for rambling.

[Mermaid Kelda]

Over time, everything seemed to become about tails, tails, tails! How important the experience of having one was, especially a nice one
Honestly it's pretty consistently been about tails. The only difference now is that more people are making their own, and pioneering new methods, which needs more documenting than just "I'm getting a tail, zomg excited!". There are still tonnes of threads being made and posted in about things other than tails. We'd love to have your voice in those threads.


So, do I have to have a tail to be a mermaid? I feel like I do now!
Absolutely not. A very good portion of this community don't own a tail, and don't plan to own one. They're here because they love mermaids, or the meanings/spirituality associated with them. You don't need to have a tail to participate in the community!


There are so many "professional" mermaids now. Why do there need to be so many?
People want to be professional because of their love for mermaiding, and bringing joy to kids and adults. It's what they love doing, and so what better way to spend their time than by being a mermaid as a job? You don't need to be professional to love and appreciate and share your mermaid spirits, but I think it's unfair to judge people for taking it a step further and making it their career. There are PLENTY of mers on here with no intention of doing mermaiding as a job, so you're not alone.

As for not feeling like you have anything to discuss with people about tails - me neither. I own a tail, sure, but there's not much discussion to be had once you already own one. I'm not making a tail, so I don't need to ask or answer questions on that front. Sometimes I'll offer encouragement or feedback to others, if I love their project. But mostly I'll only post something if I find it relevant, or I have an opinion on it. And yet I still feel like a part of the community. I don't DO anything here, really, but I enjoy chatting with others about their journeys. You can see just how much love people pour into this. I enjoy browsing tailmaking threads because, for those people, they're creating a part of themselves. It's not like that for everyone - it's not like that for me - but I enjoy it through other people. But even still, there are tonnes and tonnes of threads about stuff other than tails. You're really not limited at all! If you search for a thread and can't find it, make your own! I for one love hearing new voices in the community, and would love to hear yours more often :)

[Mermaid Jaffa]

I am a recreational mer. I have no intentions of going professional. I don't think of anything mermaidy like having mermaid decor or land clothes. For me, its something to make my swimming exercises fun and exciting. Sometimes I'll try mermaid tricks at the pool but I don't get a crowd going, its just me, my fin and my tail cruising along in the lanes. Occasionally, I get the attention of little kids, but only if they show interest and swim over for a chat. I'm not some creepy person chasing kids in a tail!.

For me, being on mernetwork, has opened my eyes to many possibilities, most of which I cannot do because of health and finances, but I do enjoy reading the threads and engaging in discussions. I stopped posting on things I don't know about so it may seem like I am a snob at times, but that's because I already made a fool of myself when I tried to post something and it failed back in my face! So I stick to subjects I know about like making fabric tails, owning pre-made fabric tails, jewelry making and other stuff. I ask a lot of stupid questions too! But that is just me. I feel if I don't ask, then I just assume, which is the wrong way to go about things.

[Mer-Crazy]

Recreational Mermaids unite! And all other mermaids are free to join us too of course :)

[Seatan]

Mermaid Syrena, Thalassa, Rayeblonde, Mermaid Octavia, Ariadne, Deepblue, Seavanna, Blaze, Blondie, Mermaid Varshana, Phoenix Mermaid, Mermaid Summer, Miyu, Lyna, Mermaid Cecelia, Mermaid Caspiana, MermanZen, Kailani, Mermaid Citrine, Mermaid Dottie, MermaidHyli, Alveric, WavyMermaidy, ....



It seems this thread has made some of the newer members feel a little unwelcome, and I understand why, so I think it's important to state that new members are a blessing. It is tough when things change--change it hard to deal with--but at the same time EVERYONE was new at one point, and if we didn't get new members then we would miss out on making new friends. It seems forever ago now, but I remember being new, and I remember feeling very welcome--of course, it's my personality type to assume people will like me and feel comfortable with new people, but many people on the internet suffer from social anxieties and have the tendency to make negative assumptions about whether they will be liked, making it harder to "fit in." Mermaids are growing in popularity, and as the community grows so does the opportunity to embrace new long term members. The ones who aren't "mermaids at heart" will quickly fade away--trends never last long--but I am sure that there will be some who remain behind and become super close friends to us all. I am trying to remember back to the days before I knew Frenchie and Iona and Dan and Pearlie and Abby and Bryn and Blaze and Raina and Emma and Julz and Wesley and Dottie and Octavia and... I can't even list all the fantastic friends I have made on this forum here because I am SUPPOSED to be working right now, not cruising the mermaid forum! I also remember the days when "newer" members first joined, members such as Joker and Ambr and many others I can't think of off the top of my head as my boss eyes me suspiciously. We didn't know back then if they would stick around, but they have and they have become an important part of our community.

When we talk about the "old days" and the entrance of new blood into the pool, we are NOT referring to those who truly love mermaiding and plan to stick around. So if that fits your description, then we are SO happy to have you here and look forward to the days when you are yet another close friend. But we do have those who "come and go," and those are the types that this thread refers to. The sort that will move on to werewolves or ball jointed dolls or Mass Effect characters in a week's time. Without new members, this community would still be a few people making tails out of neoprin and ALEX. New members are our life blood, what keeps it interesting. But there IS a period of time before you feel completely at home--something we ALL went through. Why does this exist? Because we ARE such a close knit community that we tend to know each other really well and be able to interpret one another's posts in the way they are truly meant. It may take a few weeks or a couple hundred posts, whichever comes first, but you will quickly get to know everyone as well and become a blended member of this community. I was not around for the mer.yuku days, nor for the "Big Split" when the Other Forum was created. I wasn't around for MUCH of the mermaid community history, but I still feel fully accepted as a longterm member. Why? Simply because I stuck around.

In closing, my point is: This thread was NOT created to hate on newbies. We were ALL newbies at one point. Not everyone was around back in the original mer.yuku days! But those of us who became an intrinsic part of the community are those who persevered because of our love of mermaids and slowly formed friendships with our fellow mers. Is Frenchie better than me because he joined six months earlier? Is Raina better than him because she was at mer.yuku. Is Thom better than us all since he's been making tails forever? NO. We are all equal, and we are all friends. You ARE welcome here, but you have to put some effort into getting to know people if you want to reap the benefits of such a tight knit community. You also have to learn to ignore the things and/or people you do not like. I don't love every single mer on this forum, but I never, ever express that to them. What is the point? I want peace and harmony on this forum, not distress, and starting drama with a fellow member doesn't make things better--in fact, it would make me look bad. Better to be kind to everyone, even if they are not my favorite person, and let everyone live in peace. So yes, becoming part of this community takes effort. No, you will not feel like a "big fish" immediately. Yes, you will sometimes have to put up in silence with things you don't like. But those are rules that apply to EVERYWHERE in the world, and trust me when I say that this forum is worth the effort.

[MermaidMerida]

It seems this thread has made some of the newer members feel a little unwelcome, and I understand why, so I think it's important to state that new members are a blessing. It is tough when things change--change it hard to deal with--but at the same time EVERYONE was new at one point, and if we didn't get new members then we would miss out on making new friends. It seems forever ago now, but I remember being new, and I remember feeling very welcome--of course, it's my personality type to assume people will like me and feel comfortable with new people, but many people on the internet suffer from social anxieties and have the tendency to make negative assumptions about whether they will be liked, making it harder to "fit in." Mermaids are growing in popularity, and as the community grows so does the opportunity to embrace new long term members. The ones who aren't "mermaids at heart" will quickly fade away--trends never last long--but I am sure that there will be some who remain behind and become super close friends to us all. I am trying to remember back to the days before I knew Frenchie and Iona and Dan and Pearlie and Abby and Bryn and Blaze and Raina and Emma and Julz and Wesley and Dottie and Octavia and... I can't even list all the fantastic friends I have made on this forum here because I am SUPPOSED to be working right now, not cruising the mermaid forum! I also remember the days when "newer" members first joined, members such as Joker and Ambr and many others I can't think of off the top of my head as my boss eyes me suspiciously. We didn't know back then if they would stick around, but they have and they have become an important part of our community.

When we talk about the "old days" and the entrance of new blood into the pool, we are NOT referring to those who truly love mermaiding and plan to stick around. So if that fits your description, then we are SO happy to have you here and look forward to the days when you are yet another close friend. But we do have those who "come and go," and those are the types that this thread refers to. The sort that will move on to werewolves or ball jointed dolls or Mass Effect characters in a week's time. Without new members, this community would still be a few people making tails out of neoprin and ALEX. New members are our life blood, what keeps it interesting. But there IS a period of time before you feel completely at home--something we ALL went through. Why does this exist? Because we ARE such a close knit community that we tend to know each other really well and be able to interpret one another's posts in the way they are truly meant. It may take a few weeks or a couple hundred posts, whichever comes first, but you will quickly get to know everyone as well and become a blended member of this community. I was not around for the mer.yuku days, nor for the "Big Split" when the Other Forum was created. I wasn't around for MUCH of the mermaid community history, but I still feel fully accepted as a longterm member. Why? Simply because I stuck around.

In closing, my point is: This thread was NOT created to hate on newbies. We were ALL newbies at one point. Not everyone was around back in the original mer.yuku days! But those of us who became an intrinsic part of the community are those who persevered because of our love of mermaids and slowly formed friendships with our fellow mers. Is Frenchie better than me because he joined six months earlier? Is Raina better than him because she was at mer.yuku. Is Thom better than us all since he's been making tails forever? NO. We are all equal, and we are all friends. You ARE welcome here, but you have to put some effort into getting to know people if you want to reap the benefits of such a tight knit community. You also have to learn to ignore the things and/or people you do not like. I don't love every single mer on this forum, but I never, ever express that to them. What is the point? I want peace and harmony on this forum, not distress, and starting drama with a fellow member doesn't make things better--in fact, it would make me look bad. Better to be kind to everyone, even if they are not my favorite person, and let everyone live in peace. So yes, becoming part of this community takes effort. No, you will not feel like a "big fish" immediately. Yes, you will sometimes have to put up in silence with things you don't like. But those are rules that apply to EVERYWHERE in the world, and trust me when I say that this forum is worth the effort.
I have been staying away from this thread and sort of from the network for a bit because I have felt unwelcome especially by a select few mers... I really am not usually an overreactive nasty sort of mer and I really do love mermaids and I think this network is amazing and I really just want a community of mer friends because I literally have no other mers in my area that I know of and I have been looking... thank you for posting this Seavanna it means alot :)

[Sherielle]

Like I've said before, I still feel new here. It's always tough to join a community where you don't know the lingo and there are tons of injokes and such. But I stick around and discuss things because I like it here. I find it funny that I'll see a tail on facebook and recognize it immediately as someone on Mernetwork, lol.
I'm a quiet person myself. I've been called an ice queen because I tend to be standoffish and aloof, but it's just because I'm an introvert and i'm not good at conversation skills. People are amazed when they find out I'm a hugger, lol. I'm sure my posts here also come across the same, but I really am a nice person.

[Mermaid Jaffa]

MermanZen is still around. I see him sometimes in the chat box. He's not as on often but I do enjoy our little chats.:)

[Mermaid Galene]

Well said, Seavanna!

[Mermaid Sirenia]

I've never felt unwelcome here, even as a 16 year old merling just learning about the community (I can't even believe I've been on here for two years already! Sorry for those who had to deal with my annoying self two years ago [emoji14] ) I've always felt welcome. Which I want to thank you all for that by the way, I was really nervous coming into this community and getting to know new people, but I'm glad I did! I try to be as welcoming to new people as you all were to me, but sometimes you just don't see the introduction posts! I do believe it's changed in the past years I've been on it, but that's what happens with growth and we will just have to learn to work with it and keep it welcoming and friendly! I've noticed a lot of drama lately, which is really sad, but I think that also happens the more a community grows :/

[Mermaid Rillia]

I'm just returning to this forum after almost 3 years away. before when I joined there was so much drama, and no one was really welcoming save for a few mers. It seems like the community is a lot more inviting and accepting. I'm super psyched to be back and I look forward to meeting new friends.:D

[SeaGlass Siren]

Seavanna thankyou ! you basically hit every nail on it's head.

[Mermaid Alea]

Welcome back!! :thumbs-up:

[Mermaid Kelda]

I feel like we need a guide for new members xD

1. Assume people are not trying to attack you personally.
2. Avoid assumptions on people's intent. Most often, with a criticism, members are trying to help you fit in better or telling you the way the site works. It's best to take their advice.
3. No one feels like they're superior to you. Always assume the best of people unless they specifically state otherwise. We're all reasonable here; if you feel a post is out of line, say so, but politely.
4. If a post makes you angry, take a step back and figure out WHY. Could their words be read another way? Tone in text is hard to read, and if you're new, you're not yet accustomed to how each member talks.
5. Enter every conversation with the attitude that everyone likes you and you like everyone. If you treat people like friends, and not like strangers, you'll be welcomed more readily than if you declare someone your enemy in your first week.
6. Try to listen to other members. No one is "better than you", but those who have been around longer are more familiar with how the site works. Follow their example, and you'll be amazed how quickly you'll make friends and become a "regular".

We are such a great community and it saddens me when newer members come in guns blazing and misconstrue intent. It alienates them and often forms grudges against them, so current members will be less likely to want to talk to them lest they be misconstrued as well. I already notice myself judging people by their past attitudes and have to try very hard to let it go. No one here means anyone ill will and we all need to remember that, new members and old.

[SeaGlass Siren]

^ i feel like that needs to be a guide in general not just for the newer members. but i agree. it makes for a good reminder.

[Mermaid Alea]

I agree with SeaGlass Siren that is a great guide for everyone, as well as a good guide to use on any site. Maybe that should be in the rules or at least a pinned topic at the top of the intro area?

It is often hard to figure out what people mean by their words when you are online. On another forum there would be a new member show up from time to time that always typed in all caps. I read all caps as them yelling, but of course they were not yelling with every comment they made. Recently on that other site I asked another member if they thought I was trying to say the dogs they raise were not good quality, because I wasn't saying that but wasn't sure if they didn't read my response correctly. It helps to ask someone to re-phrase what they said or to elaborate because I think often it can come across the wrong way. There is one lady on that other site who often misspells words to where they end up being another word entirely (perhaps her phone is doing that or something) so I have to read her posts carefully to figure out what she meant to say.

[SeaGlass Siren]

Internet etiquette from 1998: Never type in all caps unless you're angry :P
Use bold to emphasize a word
Use italics when quoting.
Hilariously enough, this isn't outdated. X)

[SiaTheMermaid]

Everyone on here has been nothing but welcoming to me, yet I still get the newbie anxiety of not wanting to post anything incase it comes across as aggressive/stupid/annoying. It's just a mindset us newer (I've been here a year but I still feel new) members need to get over. Everyone here, seniors, juniors and members, are all just people who love mermaids and it helps to remember that when getting over the posting anxiety.

Also, I always read sentences in all caps as shouting, from my days of playing MMORPG's [emoji14]

[Merman Arion]

I feel like we need a guide for new members xD

1. Assume people are not trying to attack you personally.
2. Avoid assumptions on people's intent. Most often, with a criticism, members are trying to help you fit in better or telling you the way the site works. It's best to take their advice.
3. No one feels like they're superior to you. Always assume the best of people unless they specifically state otherwise. We're all reasonable here; if you feel a post is out of line, say so, but politely.
4. If a post makes you angry, take a step back and figure out WHY. Could their words be read another way? Tone in text is hard to read, and if you're new, you're not yet accustomed to how each member talks.
5. Enter every conversation with the attitude that everyone likes you and you like everyone. If you treat people like friends, and not like strangers, you'll be welcomed more readily than if you declare someone your enemy in your first week.
6. Try to listen to other members. No one is "better than you", but those who have been around longer are more familiar with how the site works. Follow their example, and you'll be amazed how quickly you'll make friends and become a "regular".

We are such a great community and it saddens me when newer members come in guns blazing and misconstrue intent. It alienates them and often forms grudges against them, so current members will be less likely to want to talk to them lest they be misconstrued as well. I already notice myself judging people by their past attitudes and have to try very hard to let it go. No one here means anyone ill will and we all need to remember that, new members and old.

^ THIS.

@Kelda, I love you :hug:

[Echidna]

Great guide for anyone. Old and new.

[Ashe]

Spot on Kelda. I also think that new members should see this, maybe we can sticky it somewhere?

[Seatan]

Sadly I doubt reading that would solve any drama problems. The people who create that kind of drama are not usually the type to spend a long time reading rules. (Wow, that sounded really jaded! Internet, what have you done to me? Bad internet, lowering my expectations of people everywhere!)

[Mermaid Kelda]

@Kelda, I love you :hug:
http://33.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_mdh1goLqmu1rixppqo1_250.gif

[Silva]

This thread kinda made me feel bad for joining... it's not your fault though! :) I feel as though I'm one of those new members, the ones that just keep posting relentlessly, trying to get noticed. I hope I'm not doing that. But I sometimes feel like I am, I mean, I've posted 58 times in the last four days, and I feel bad about it. I think I am just trying to fit in. Be part of the community. I don't know.

[Ashe]

I'm regretting making this thread. It went in a direction I was really not wanting it to go. This thread has been talked about by newer members in other threads with a bad connotation. I have mers saying they think they're intruding on 'senior turf' (what?) and mers saying they feel bad about joining.
THIS WAS NOT SUPPOSED TO BE IMPLIED.

What this thread was supposed to be about is how the community is undergoing changes and how we often see new members stirring things up and how some things are getting confusing.

IF YOU'RE NEW AND HAVE DONE NOTHING WRONG, YOU HAVE NOTHING TO WORRY ABOUT.
IF YOU'RE NEW AND HAVE MADE A MISTAKE BUT HAVE CORRECTED IT, YOU HAVE NOTHING TO WORRY ABOUT.
IF YOU'RE NEW AND ARE STIRRING UP DRAMA WHERE THERE ABSOLUTELY SHOULD NOT BE, PLEASE CONSIDER TAKING ADVICE AND CORRECTING YOUR MISTAKES SO WE CAN ALL GET ALONG AND JUST SWIM AROUND CAREFREE.

For real, some of the things I see on this forum are getting out of hand. Come on, let's just try to get along?

[Ashe]

This thread kinda made me feel bad for joining... it's not your fault though! :) I feel as though I'm one of those new members, the ones that just keep posting relentlessly, trying to get noticed. I hope I'm not doing that. But I sometimes feel like I am, I mean, I've posted 58 times in the last four days, and I feel bad about it. I think I am just trying to fit in. Be part of the community. I don't know.

No no no no no no no no no. You go and post as much as you want. Post like crazy. I posted like hell when I first joined. Always at the top of the top posters list. As long as you aren't spamming random or sending hateful things or asking endless amounts of questions that have already been answered, (which from what I've seen you definitely haven't been) you go and post and do not feel bad at all.
Heck, you're making a mermaid tail wiki for us! DO NOT FEEL BAD FOR POSTING. Post like your life depends on it if that what you want.


This goes for everyone else. This is a forum. It's made for posting. We even have stats to show the top posters in the last two weeks. Read the rules, take in advice, and POST.

[Silva]

Thank you for clearing that up, and I'm sorry this thread is taking a negative turn. I know you mean well, and I completely understand. I am sorry for saying that I feel bad about joining, and I take it back, because now when I look back, this was a great decision. I mean, where else can I talk about tails and mermaids and stuff without my friends thinking I'm a weirdo? C'mon guys, let's all just get along. :group hug:
Now, excuse me while I post to my heart's content :wink:

[SeaGlass Siren]

I call seastsrshimmer as my new KUMBAYA singing buddy

[Silva]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vo9AH4vG2wA
What, you thought I wouldn't post this now?

[SeaGlass Siren]

Oh my god yaaaasss!!!!!! XD

[Silva]

*sings at top of lungs*

[SeaGlass Siren]

KUMBAYA MY LOOOOOORD KUMBAYAAAAAAAAAAAAA

[Mermaid Freyja]

KUMBAYA MY LOOOOOORD KUMBAYAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Haha, this!^
I must say that I am a fairly new-ish member (8 months, woo!), and have never experienced any outright mistreatment by other members here; senior or otherwise.
Sometimes I skim over threads that have tumbled into Drama Land, but I never want to add fuel to that fire, lol! So I keep to my own little cove and let those involved sort it out.
I'm not worried about getting noticed or establishing a notable presence. With a busy schedule this year, I haven't had time to really tackle the tailmaking projects yet (I need to wait until after Dragon Con), so I don't have a ton to share yet.
Any feelings I have of being an outsider here are not caused by anyone but me. I'm also shy because well, I'm a mermaid! ;) If there are Mers who dislike newcomers, then those individuals can just sit with their own bitterness. That shouldn't be pinned to an entire group.
I do understand how it feels to have something you love and enjoy being kind of 'underground' become suddenly popular and (the dreaded) mainstream. I experienced this within the burlesque community, and holy gods it was....'overwhelming' is probably the best most polite term I can come up with at the moment :-) With the good came some bad, as with anything.
So, I don't post as often as I'd like, and I stick to the rules. That's not to say that I'd made a technical mistake or two very early on, but I corrected myself and learned from it. No one should be keel hauled for that unless they have made it clear by their actions they're just trolls.
Truly, as a newcomer who only want's to contribute the best I can to this amazing community, I'm just happy to be here.
Kisses to all of you XOXO!

[Silva]

^ this

[Ashe]

'overwhelming' is probably the best most polite term I can come up with at the moment
That's a great word really. I think it was one I meant to add in to the original post actually but it slipped me.

[deepblue]

Aww! Congrats on the mer-baby!!!


DEEPBLUE I have missed youuuuu!!
I was wondering where you went ;-;
Congrats on the merbebe!

So, I've been watching the forum without signing in and just trying to find a new way to relate to the size and scope. I also have found a way to watch my disturbed ex, heh, and I see no threat from him atm in regard to my mermaiding.

Just to respond to those I quoted right there, thank you for the well wishes. Unfortunately, my pregnancy turned out to be something called 'anembryonic gestation', which means an egg was fertilized, implanted, and disintegrated, but my body didn't get the memo and kept building a home for it in my uterus. It was a type of miscarriage, and while heart-breaking, it's the kind of thing few talk about, but I think people ought to be more honest and not worry about hard issues like this. So I'm saying it. That's all, and now back to the subject at hand.

I think some of us are better at adjusting to things like growing communities, and some of us (like me) just have a harder time. We'll all find our own way.


I didn't know you did de facto leave, of course noted you posted very seldom.
If it hadn't been for you, I might've left MN for good you know. I hope you stay, or at least lurk and watch ;)

:D I think I'll probably swim in and out as time and tide allow, and learn to relate to the community as it evolves.

[SeaGlass Siren]

^ oh dear... :hugs:

[Echidna]

very sorry to hear :(

I hope you're doing alright, deepblue!

[deepblue]

I'm doing better now, I just mentioned it here when I did because we were so excited. I hadn't told anyone else but two friends, though. I didn't mean to go off topic!

[Echidna]

I like your new signature picture.

^^unabashed off-topic-ing

[deepblue]

Thanks! I can't recall where I found it, but it makes me happy.

[SeaGlass Siren]

it's deep. and blue :P

I can see why.

[Kumori Kitsune]

I'vee been off mernetwork for a bit cause school eats my time but I'm gonna try to get on most I can I miss the family feeling . Missed you guys

[Merman Dan]

Deepblue, when we meet I will show you my sargassum sleeve tattoo, which includes a prominent purple anemone on my wrist. That is there for Marina, my miscarried daughter. I really do not need such an external reminder to think of her, but I find it comforting to have her close to me.

[deepblue]

Aw, I love that.

[xaccer2]

Econ (http://audiobookkeeper.ru/book/224)

[xaccer2]

150.1 (http://cottagenet.ru/plan/224)

[xaccer2]

черн (http://eyesvision.ru)

[xaccer2]

CHAP (http://eyesvisions.com)

[xaccer2]

Anja (http://factoringfee.ru/t/468729)

[xaccer2]

Фатх (http://filmzones.ru/t/133689)

[xaccer2]

Папа (http://gadwall.ru/t/196351)

[xaccer2]

Yash (http://gaffertape.ru/t/348586)

[xaccer2]

Lisa (http://gageboard.ru/t/383322)

[xaccer2]

Jane (http://gagrule.ru/t/262222)

[xaccer2]

Juli (http://gallduct.ru/t/664640)

[xaccer2]

�рда (http://galvanometric.ru/t/298524)

[xaccer2]

Deko (http://gangforeman.ru/t/141791)

[xaccer2]

пазл (http://gangwayplatform.ru/t/166974)

[xaccer2]

ЕТуд (http://garbagechute.ru/t/817718)

[xaccer2]

Alex (http://gardeningleave.ru/t/141256)

[xaccer2]

чита (http://gascautery.ru/t/301009)

[xaccer2]

pass (http://gashbucket.ru/t/179026)

[xaccer2]

упак (http://gasreturn.ru/t/463216)

[xaccer2]

Кита (http://gatedsweep.ru/t/558433)

[xaccer2]

Крав (http://gaugemodel.ru/t/675330)

[xaccer2]

Kenj (http://gaussianfilter.ru/t/672334)

[xaccer2]

Orie (http://gearpitchdiameter.ru/t/448456)

[xaccer2]

Coca (http://geartreating.ru/t/567541)

[xaccer2]

Cair (http://generalizedanalysis.ru/t/349090)

[xaccer2]

Вели (http://generalprovisions.ru/t/481630)

[xaccer2]

Clas (http://geophysicalprobe.ru/t/558958)

[xaccer2]

Vers (http://geriatricnurse.ru/t/138582)

[xaccer2]

Rose (http://getintoaflap.ru/t/138608)

[xaccer2]

Glis (http://getthebounce.ru/t/137770)

[xaccer2]

Alla (http://habeascorpus.ru/t/626113)

[xaccer2]

Harm (http://habituate.ru/t/624622)

[xaccer2]

Заха (http://hackedbolt.ru/t/292664)

[xaccer2]

Jewe (http://hackworker.ru/t/622890)

[xaccer2]

DJma (http://hadronicannihilation.ru/t/623190)

[xaccer2]

С�03 (http://haemagglutinin.ru/t/573591)

[xaccer2]

Char (http://hailsquall.ru/t/139475)

[xaccer2]

XVII (http://hairysphere.ru/t/298693)

[xaccer2]

Cred (http://halforderfringe.ru/t/560868)

[xaccer2]

Expe (http://halfsiblings.ru/t/561633)

[xaccer2]

Шпет (http://hallofresidence.ru/t/443028)

[xaccer2]

Mipa (http://haltstate.ru/t/392084)

[xaccer2]

Mari (http://handcoding.ru/t/565183)

[xaccer2]

Jack (http://handportedhead.ru/t/639272)

[xaccer2]

Кант (http://handradar.ru/t/541027)

[xaccer2]

Oral (http://handsfreetelephone.ru/t/137552)

[xaccer2]

Бехт (http://hangonpart.ru/t/77318)

[xaccer2]

ТДел (http://haphazardwinding.ru/t/294239)

[xaccer2]

Shan (http://hardalloyteeth.ru/t/262374)

[xaccer2]

Albe (http://hardasiron.ru/t/297110)

[xaccer2]

Jewe (http://hardenedconcrete.ru/t/565957)

[xaccer2]

Quer (http://harmonicinteraction.ru/t/301857)

[xaccer2]

Stag (http://hartlaubgoose.ru/t/140651)

[xaccer2]

BONU (http://hatchholddown.ru/t/174293)

[xaccer2]

Кочи (http://haveafinetime.ru/t/279671)

[xaccer2]

молн (http://hazardousatmosphere.ru/t/155982)

[xaccer2]

T6YN (http://headregulator.ru/t/166473)

[xaccer2]

Clau (http://heartofgold.ru/t/172971)

[xaccer2]

по�т (http://heatageingresistance.ru/t/244877)

[xaccer2]

Козл (http://heatinggas.ru/t/316893)

[xaccer2]

Jenn (http://heavydutymetalcutting.ru/t/304358)

[xaccer2]

Иллю (http://jacketedwall.ru/t/279321)

[xaccer2]

авто (http://japanesecedar.ru/t/303500)

[xaccer2]

Roxy (http://jibtypecrane.ru/t/601664)

[xaccer2]

Niki (http://jobabandonment.ru/t/602533)

[xaccer2]

Roxy (http://jobstress.ru/t/602514)

[xaccer2]

Mari (http://jogformation.ru/t/606082)

[xaccer2]

форм (http://jointcapsule.ru/t/549377)

[xaccer2]

Vers (http://jointsealingmaterial.ru/t/541899)

[xaccer2]

Digi (http://journallubricator.ru/t/140950)

[xaccer2]

Just (http://juicecatcher.ru/t/522997)

[xaccer2]

John (http://junctionofchannels.ru/t/295848)

[xaccer2]

Triu (http://justiciablehomicide.ru/t/303967)

[xaccer2]

Боро (http://juxtapositiontwin.ru/t/303560)

[xaccer2]

канд (http://kaposidisease.ru/t/300456)

[xaccer2]

prof (http://keepagoodoffing.ru/t/299210)

[xaccer2]

Март (http://keepsmthinhand.ru/t/303372)

[xaccer2]

Kene (http://kentishglory.ru/t/343855)

[xaccer2]

Rumi (http://kerbweight.ru/t/193520)

[xaccer2]

Clau (http://kerrrotation.ru/t/337255)

[xaccer2]

Иллю (http://keymanassurance.ru/t/292464)

[xaccer2]

XVII (http://keyserum.ru/t/245453)

[xaccer2]

кара (http://kickplate.ru/t/157232)

[xaccer2]

Ente (http://killthefattedcalf.ru/t/604064)

[xaccer2]

кара (http://kilowattsecond.ru/t/605075)

[xaccer2]

Zone (http://kingweakfish.ru/t/608347)

[xaccer2]

Сора (http://kinozones.ru/film/224)

[xaccer2]

Fuxi (http://kleinbottle.ru/t/604090)

[xaccer2]

чи�т (http://kneejoint.ru/t/604189)

[xaccer2]

Ð*або (http://knifesethouse.ru/t/593277)

[xaccer2]

Лани (http://knockonatom.ru/t/319360)

[xaccer2]

Fuxi (http://knowledgestate.ru/t/603932)

[xaccer2]

Jewe (http://kondoferromagnet.ru/t/168875)

[xaccer2]

Will (http://labeledgraph.ru/t/770402)

[xaccer2]

3506 (http://laborracket.ru/t/157395)

[xaccer2]

Miyo (http://labourearnings.ru/t/158097)