Long Absences and Life Changes

[Seatan]

Hi everybody--it has been a very long time! A lot has happened since I hurt myself in December and wasn't able to make it to MerFest. Most of all, though, I came to a realization: I don't want this life I am living. I have given my notice, and I am leaving teaching forever--it came with too much pain. Now I am trying to start over in life, but it's all so cloudy. Lately I have been thinking that I want to move near the one thing that has always brought me bliss: the ocean. The problem is that I am too afraid. I have considered moving to Hawaii and leaving behind my world in Texas, but I am all alone and the idea scares me. I really wish I had a friend or a relative or a husband who wanted to take this kind of leap with me. I have lived down the street from my parents for my whole life. I have a paid off house and a car and had a stable, well paying job... All the things that are supposed to make you happy, but I'm not happy. In fact the last time I remember being truly happy rather than anxious and stressed was my vacation to the tropics. I am returning to Honduras for a week in June and the idea actually makes me SAD because I know how happy I will be and how hard leaving will be. Overall, I just don't know what to do. My life is about to head off in a new direction, but what direction will that be? I have considered teaching Englush abroad, but I don't know if I could leave behind my birds and dogs, as silly as that sounds. I was wondering, are there any places you can look online to try and find people interested in moving to places, too? I know how expensive Hawaii is and reading this over it sounds like a joke or something, beut then I ask myself... I have this one life? Why am I "playing it safe" instead of trying to do what I want. Man, I don't even know what I am trying to express in this post other than my desperate need to change SOMETHING, to stop playing it safe only to find myself acquiring more and more STUFF in an attempt to be happy rather than actually being fulfilled.

[SweeteSiren]

There's a huge community of expats that you could plug into and find answers to at least some of your questions. A couple of sites I'm familiar with are www.liveabroad.com (http://www.liveabroad.com) and www.escapeartist.com (http://www.escapeartist.com) (although I think that one charges a membership fee now).
And you don't sound silly. :) I've been where you are, feeling like I need a change from the 'quiet desperation', but when it comes time to take that first step I always chicken out. Good luck in whatever adventure you choose!

[Rett]

There are quite a few members on here that live in Hawaii, and I'm sure they'd welcome you with open arms! Thats at least a few people you might know :)

[SeaMonkey]

i lived in hawaii. it is VERY expensive and, to be honest, a great place to visit but not to live in. very expensive to take ur fur babies along too. i moved 3 dogs and 3 cats there and back. im from florida and it really is great on the gulf coast south of tampa.

[Theobromine]

I don't know if I have advice for you, but I feel you. I've been there, sorta, with being unhappy where your life is. I've never even had the luxury of having a paid off house or a "great" job and at least being stable...I'm 30 and I have a master's degree but I've never been able to find a real job in my field like I've always wanted and I'm sick of having shitty demoralizing jobs and feeling utterly useless. So I just recently quit my job, actually, and I'm pursuing one of my passions. I can't move, however, because my husband has a really good job here so we can't just pick up and leave. You're actually really lucky that you're free to go where you want and do what you want without having another person there to tie you down! Don't get me wrong, I love my husband and would never give him up, but sometimes I look back on my single days and feel a bit wistful at how free I was. In 2009 I moved to Australia to go to grad school, just because I could. While I lived there I had all sorts of adventures by myself and met great people along the way and had wonderful experiences. I dove all over the Great Barrier Reef, I went sailing through the islands, I swam under gorgeous waterfalls, I went road tripping up the coast and through the rainforest, and I took a 2-week trip to Bali by myself. There's a song I love with the line "I'm alone, I'm alone, but that doesn't mean I'm lonely". Being by yourself makes you POWERFUL. You hold your whole life in the palm of your hand. No one and nothing can hold you back from chasing your dreams now, and realizing you weren't happy and quitting your job was just the first step. Don't play it safe, play it AWESOME! You can do it! :thumbs-up:

[Echidna]

I'm in the same boat.
Due to family commitments, I've been stuck in a place I hate for far too many years, and I'm not getting younger.

I've lived in the tropics, and I was so happy there.
Visited many countries and places over the years, and I feel I'd be happy in many of them, but if I wanted to move there, I'd be all alone.
For some of you folks, being alone and without ties might sound great, but it's really not when you have some chronic illnesses and the time you were happy doing things all on your own is long past.

I'd love to find a group of like-minded individuals and move to a chosen location with them.
Not sure if I would dare step foot into a warmer climate again though, and it has to be a place where I can bring my cats.
So I have rather limited options :(
Otherwise, I'd totally be up to anything!

[Coradion]

I live in Hawai'i it is frustrating and amazing at the same time. It can be difficult to find a place and it is expensive but the amazing thing is that you can always be in the water. We have a big pod on O'ahu and if you need swim buddies there are many of us.

[Moana.the.mermaid]

I lived in Hawai'i for many many years. We paid $1350 for a small 400 sq ft studio walk up on the 4th floor. $10 for a gallon of milk. $3.50 a gallon of gas while the rest of the country was at $1.99. It's still a special place to me - I have a huge tattoo on my back dedicated to my Aina. But could I live there again? Nope. Not right now. It's very expensive and the only way I afforded it was doing adult films, stripping etc.

I live in San diego now. Somewhat cheaper, $1250 for a one bedroom a block from the beach, normal grocery prices but expensive gas prices. But I love it! Ocean Beach has the most mellow vibe and reminds me of the aloha spirit.

If you do want to up and move somewhere, feel free to pm me. I've up and moved so many times in the past eight years - I can think of at least ten addresses off the top of my head. I've driven through more than half the states and seen a lot of different countries. And I'm not made of money, nor is my family. It's just playing it smart and within your budget.

much love, one love - Moana

[Seatan]

I have decided to give up the Hawaii idea and focus on the much more affordable Central America. I am leaving for Utila, an island off Roatan in Honduras on the 6th of June and staying to the 13th to get my Rescue Diver Certification. Then I'm returning to America and selling off my things and paying off my credit card debt. At the end of August I am returning to Utila for six months to do my Divemaster and Instructor certifications, then I will either return to the USA and resume my old life or, if I am loving where I am, sell my house in the USA and buy one either in Utila (preferably on Pigeon Caye), Roatan, or somewhere in Costa Rica. Then I will try to get a job and live it up in Central America. Just the idea of minimizing my life makes me unbelievably happy.

[Theobromine]

That sounds like an amazing plan! Good luck with it all!

[SweeteSiren]

That sounds incredible! Roatan is on my bucket list - if I ever make it there, I'll look you up! :)

[Seatan]

Roatan is AWESOME, and if you visit there you need to puddle jump over to Utila then to Water and Pigeon Caye, too--such a fabulous group of tiny little islands!

[Seatan]

Okay, I currently have a part time online job (online styling) which would totally pay for my new life in Utila, but technically you are supposed to be working FROM Dallas... I am wondering if they would even notice if I just did my work from the Caribbean. I know that seems sneaky, but it would be more than enough money to live there and I am afraid I will lose the job if I tell them I am moving. It doesn't actually require anything face to face, so I don't think they'd even know I was working out of another country. Is that wrong to do? Do I need to tell them that I am moving or can I just keep doing the same work I've been doing? I don't want to lose it, and it wouldn't effect my work at ALL. But I don't ever feel right about lying, even by omission... What do you guys think?

[Aysun_the_Mermaid]

It does not sound like the omission will hurt anyone. Unless they contact you and ask you about it, I don't really see a problem with it. Especially since it will be such a big help with the life you want.

[Cordelia]

There could be a problem in reporting taxes.

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