Mermaid Octavia
04-22-2015, 04:34 PM
Triggers: mental illness, abuse, suicide threats
Swimming in a swamp, apparently! And I mean a metaphorical swamp.
I've been absent from the network for probably, oh... 6-8 months? I'm not sure exactly when my activity died down precisely. Last time I was here in earnest, I had been kicked from my volunteer mermaid group (here locally) and they would not respond and tell me why (this was mid/late November 2013). That set off a spiral of depression for me. I was booted just as my silicone tail had arrived and I was quite devastated. I let it show very prominently and I apologize if I had created drama from it.
I did my best to move on from that and did several parties and charity events on my own. It was so much fun, I can't even express it to you. <3
I have a younger sister (younger by 4 years) who has been a hellion most of my life. I'm 28 now and I'm sure many of you can relate. She did nothing but complain about how much she hated living at home, so in the summer of 2014, I found us an apartment and moved her in. She did nothing to help with the process and complained most of the way. I should have seen that red flag flapping and just put an end to it then, but didn't. She had never lived on her own at the age of 24, couldn't really hold a job and had no friends. I thought this change of scenery would be good for her.
Long story short, she didn't even last 4 months on her own with me (November, 2014). Any time a bill came up, a suicide threat came with it. She verbally and emotionally abused me for months on end and I put up with it. She ended up in the hospital 3 times (that I'm aware of) for suicide threats in the span of 6 months. When I finally quit giving her the attention she was craving by acting out, she threatened to buy a gun and shoot herself and ran away. She ended up at my mom's and lied to her, saying nothing had happened between her and I and that she was staying with mom to "keep her company." :confused:
After breaking the lease and expecting me to pay for it, she ended up living with mom for 2 weeks before mom had enough of the abuse and kicked her out. Then she ended up with dad, alienated and abused him, made another suicide attempt in January 2015 and landed in the hospital. She did nothing to improve her behavior and I finally went no-contact with her. She up and decided to drive across the country from OR to PA to live with someone she met online. Her shenanigans cost me roughly $3,000 and wiped out my savings but I consider it the cost of learning a lesson, and the cost of freedom.
It's been a whirlwind. But it's not been all bad!
With my sister blessedly gone, so much stress has lifted from my life. I met a wonderful and very handsome (AND STABLE!) man in the summertime of last year. Our anniversary is June 1st. He stuck around despite my sister's insanity and supported me through all of it. I couldn't thank him enough. My sister even abused HIM and had I known about it, would have fluke-slapped her so hard. My man is one of the brightest lights of my life now. :) My mersona helped me persevere as well. She is more confident than I am as a human and sometimes I do get self-conscious that my tail is not a brilliantly bright color. But in the end, it's perfect for me. The glow of it reminds me of the light at the end of the dark tunnel, and that not all darkness is bad.
My sister did end up being diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder in January, something I've been reading up diligently on. I found the best way to have a relationship with her is... not to have one at all, at least until she comes to the realization that the damage she has done is her own doing. She's very good at blaming everyone but herself for her own problems. I wish her the best but from afar.
Now summer is right around the corner and with it comes warmer waters, more events and spending lots of time with wonderful people (and merfolk!) So the moral of the story is that the swamp eventually dissipates and you'll come out stronger at the end of the journey. :)
Swimming in a swamp, apparently! And I mean a metaphorical swamp.
I've been absent from the network for probably, oh... 6-8 months? I'm not sure exactly when my activity died down precisely. Last time I was here in earnest, I had been kicked from my volunteer mermaid group (here locally) and they would not respond and tell me why (this was mid/late November 2013). That set off a spiral of depression for me. I was booted just as my silicone tail had arrived and I was quite devastated. I let it show very prominently and I apologize if I had created drama from it.
I did my best to move on from that and did several parties and charity events on my own. It was so much fun, I can't even express it to you. <3
I have a younger sister (younger by 4 years) who has been a hellion most of my life. I'm 28 now and I'm sure many of you can relate. She did nothing but complain about how much she hated living at home, so in the summer of 2014, I found us an apartment and moved her in. She did nothing to help with the process and complained most of the way. I should have seen that red flag flapping and just put an end to it then, but didn't. She had never lived on her own at the age of 24, couldn't really hold a job and had no friends. I thought this change of scenery would be good for her.
Long story short, she didn't even last 4 months on her own with me (November, 2014). Any time a bill came up, a suicide threat came with it. She verbally and emotionally abused me for months on end and I put up with it. She ended up in the hospital 3 times (that I'm aware of) for suicide threats in the span of 6 months. When I finally quit giving her the attention she was craving by acting out, she threatened to buy a gun and shoot herself and ran away. She ended up at my mom's and lied to her, saying nothing had happened between her and I and that she was staying with mom to "keep her company." :confused:
After breaking the lease and expecting me to pay for it, she ended up living with mom for 2 weeks before mom had enough of the abuse and kicked her out. Then she ended up with dad, alienated and abused him, made another suicide attempt in January 2015 and landed in the hospital. She did nothing to improve her behavior and I finally went no-contact with her. She up and decided to drive across the country from OR to PA to live with someone she met online. Her shenanigans cost me roughly $3,000 and wiped out my savings but I consider it the cost of learning a lesson, and the cost of freedom.
It's been a whirlwind. But it's not been all bad!
With my sister blessedly gone, so much stress has lifted from my life. I met a wonderful and very handsome (AND STABLE!) man in the summertime of last year. Our anniversary is June 1st. He stuck around despite my sister's insanity and supported me through all of it. I couldn't thank him enough. My sister even abused HIM and had I known about it, would have fluke-slapped her so hard. My man is one of the brightest lights of my life now. :) My mersona helped me persevere as well. She is more confident than I am as a human and sometimes I do get self-conscious that my tail is not a brilliantly bright color. But in the end, it's perfect for me. The glow of it reminds me of the light at the end of the dark tunnel, and that not all darkness is bad.
My sister did end up being diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder in January, something I've been reading up diligently on. I found the best way to have a relationship with her is... not to have one at all, at least until she comes to the realization that the damage she has done is her own doing. She's very good at blaming everyone but herself for her own problems. I wish her the best but from afar.
Now summer is right around the corner and with it comes warmer waters, more events and spending lots of time with wonderful people (and merfolk!) So the moral of the story is that the swamp eventually dissipates and you'll come out stronger at the end of the journey. :)