Post Partum Body Issues, Age, and My First Tail!

[Mermaid Strega]

Shy, Usual noob disclaimer: I've spent some time trying to figure out where the best place to post this was, so my apologies if I've chosen wrong. I'm not new to forums in general, but still pretty new here on the Mer Network. Please let me know if I've chosen wrong! Okay, here goes!

I'm about to be 29 years old, on the cusp of what I always thought of as "old" but still feeling "young". I gave birth to my second child six months ago (I have a 2 year old as well), and my confidence has never been lower. I found a few wonderful threads here concerning age and weight issues, and let's face it, mermaids tend to show a lot of skin and those of us who don't quite fit the socially acceptable standard tend to feel pretty vulnerable in swimming attire. So in the midst of this crisis I'm having, I discovered mermaiding.

10 years ago I'd have bought a tail no question. Then, I was tiny, doing martial arts, and had the "perfect" body. Now things are squishier and not budging even with diet and exercise. (I blame back to back pregnancies and breastfeeding for my chub's stubbornness.) I've been reading article after article on body acceptance, especially postpartum body acceptance, and I discovered a lot of studies suggesting the way a mom feels about herself affects her children's' self-esteem. So with that, I put a fabric mermaid tail in my shopping cart. It'd been in there for days. Today, my entire body shaking, I bought it. I bought a red fabric mermaid tail. I'm still shaking. My thoughts are racing- seriously? a mermaid tail? at my age? Redheads aren't even supposed to wear red! Yet, here I am.

All I know is that I have to learn to love myself for my children's, especially my daughter's, sakes. If I can't say I at least gave this a try, how can I teach her to be confident? I have no idea where I'll do most of my swimming, being from the Rocky Mountains. All I know is, I bought a tail, and I'm nervous as heck.

Does anyone else find mermaiding to be therapeutic and confidence building? Those of you who are my age, who have kids, how do you find the confidence to keep at it? I suppose what I'm needing is support, encouragement, and you're-not-alone-honey stories.

Blessings and thank you for reading,
Mermaid Strega

[PearlieMae]

I think mermaiding is wonderful for confidence building! Especially once you feel your body getting stronger from swimming, and the feeling of darting through the water with a fin propelling you is like no other! And think on this...when you're swimming, you have a big pool/lake/ocean to help hide any bulgy bits! Ha!

I'm 5'4" and 190 lbs. I'm thick, round, with a big butt and heavy legs. I'm 55 years old (Pagan, too!). I am the happiest mermaid in the sea and no one can stop me from doing what I love! Maybe I have the perspective of age, but don't worry about it! Be bold! Wear red! Jiggle proudly! Who bloody cares?

I think your kids would benefit more from having a mom who enjoys life than a perfectly svelte mom who counts calories and frets about baring any skin.

The water will wash away your fears...come on in! The water's fine!

PS: I'm still carrying around baby fat and my kid will be 31 this year!

[Mermaid Strega]

You have no idea how good this makes me feel. (Hugs) you're an amazing woman.

[Mermaid Lorelei]

Then, I was tiny, doing martial arts, and had the "perfect" body. Now things are squishier and not budging even with diet and exercise.
You just explained me to a 'T'. I hope that makes it easier to believe when I say that mermaiding is honestly one of the BEST things I have ever chosen to do. And not just for the weight loss, or muscle building, or any of that stuff. It's fantastic for the soul and your overall opinion of yourself. It's hard not to like yourself when you know you've suddenly become a mythical creature.

Welcome, by the way. :)

[PearlieMae]

I'm so glad I re-found this... http://www.huffingtonpost.com/allison-tate/mom-pictures-with-kids_b_1926073.html

:mermaid kiss:

[Elodea the Mermaid]

Mermaid Strega, I just turned 30 in January and I'm starting to go grey. The martial arts you mentioned really hits home for me, because I was a ballet dancer for almost 20 years. It's been difficult to go from having a superhero body that can do superhero things to just... being a person with a spare tire and some memories. Mermaiding makes me feel like the person I used to be, capable of the inhuman! I never wear any fitted clothes in my day-to-day life, but when I'm swimming, for some reason I just don't think about. Too busy being magical, I guess.

For you, you're a momma! That's more magical than any mermaid could ever be! If your little girls get to grow up with a mermaid mom that puts herself out there and plays with them, they will be unstoppable!

Also, in shallower terms, mermaid tails are actually very surprisingly flattering on all body types from what I've seen! Not only that, but the water really shows your figure to its best advantage... gravity is powerless there :-P

[malinghi]

Welcome to the forum! Thanks for being so open and sharing this kind of stuff.

BTW, I always encourage people to try to find other merfolk in their area if they can, since swimming is even better with friends. I remember when I first swam in a tail I felt so self conscious. The member map, the rocky mountain pod section of the forum, and the rocky mountain pod Facebook group are all good ways to find people. Also you can get friends into mermaiding or bring them along when you go swimming.

[Maethor]

I found this video today and I love what this woman has started and how she speaks! She's started the Body Image Movement and it's incredible. I hope you like it!
https://youtu.be/OglVbrRBwXA

[Prairie Mermaid Jamie]

Post partum sucks. Ive been there too. I have alot of large stretch marks and a permanent belly. They are my war wounds from a scary pregnancy and im almost sad my tail hides them.

You earned your body. Be proud of it. Even if theres a little more to love now. With a tail and lots of swimming, that can go away. You will still be a strong woman and a great mom no matter what you look like!

The biggest and hardest part of the post partum for me was learning to accept I had issues and ask for help. You are already ahead of that. And youve come to a great place where lots of us have our own issues and are willing to help how we can.

If you ever come to canada, you bring that tail and well swim for days! Stay strong, you can do it!!!!!!

[Mermaid Strega]

I'm pretty much in tears you wonderful ladies. (Group hug). The amount of kindness and support in this community is absolutely amazing.

Thank you all for listening and letting me know I'm not alone. It's comforting and empowering!!

[PhaylennMurúch]

I'm 31 in 8 days and a bigger mer (mom of three as well, ODS is 7 and twins are 5). The first time I even felt comfortable in a one piece in a pool was the first time I swam in a borrowed tail. I'm now full on swimming in a home made mermaid top with my finfun tail.
Honestly once you get in the water and embrace your merishness (yes it's a new word, I just made it up) the ideals of the human world just seem to be, well unimportant

[AniaR]

I'm 29 and run a big mermaid business! No worries about being 29. I am a big fan of 29 haha. I also have the belly that wont budge thanks to chronic illness. My solution? A tail with a kick ass high waistline that Practically works like a cincher (though more comfortable). Sucks all the fat in, covers everything with the illusion thanks to a blended waist line of me actually showing skin when I'm not, makes me feel confident, and away I go!

We all gotta start somewhere my love!

[Mermaid Strega]

<3 im seriously looking forward to the first swim. I haven't worn a swimsuit in years so I'm nervous and excited.

Raina, you are amazing. And totally right, we all have to start somewhere.

Sort of unrelated but I was watching some mermaid videos and my two year old son says, "mama are you a mermaid?" Made my night. If I have his support and love who cares what the rest of the world thinks right?

[PearlieMae]

^ this! :clap:

[Merman Dan]

If I have his support and love who cares what the rest of the world thinks right?

On the nosey! I'll hit 50 this year and definitely have more of a twelve-pack than a six-pack when it comes to abs but so long as I enjoy romping in liquid space I will be a merman! :)

[Mermaid Strega]

I got my first tail today and holy crap am I happy with it! I think my little dude approves. He wants one of his own. XD I'm super excited to take this thing out for a test drive! I'm pretty much already certain I need to start saving up for a silicone tail. :3 Blessings to all, and thank you again for all your kind, supportive words. /hugs

https://c4.staticflickr.com/8/7774/17521185824_5157a6d96f_z.jpg

[Merman Dan]

My 17 year old daughter and 11 year old daughter both want tails, now! :) The 17-year-old, Mermaid Macca, shared Merman Dan pictures with her high school class so now the whole school apparently knows about me. :) After her last chorale concert her vocal instructor asked about my life as a merman. Yeah, it's weird but weird is a compliment in my book. I have worked up the gumption to swim on my own, at the local pool. They love us there!

30037

[Keiris]

LOVE IT!!

[SeaMonkey]

my tail makes me feel beautiful

[Lucinda]

Hi there, Mermaid Strega!

There's nothing wrong with being into mermaiding at your age. (I just turned 30, btw. No kids, unless you count my master's thesis as such. Lol. :) )

Honestly, I wish there were more parents like you. I've encountered parents who seem to think that “child” and “adult” are two rigid, non-overlapping categories. I'm thinking about parents who turn down their kids invitation to come and play with them cause they are “too old to play on the swings”, too old to play with toys etc. An even wackier example: I visited a friend, and her eldest kid made a fuss over how I was supposedly eating “the kids' cookies”. Seriously, there's such a distinction?!? (Dude, anything vanilla flavoured is MY thing!) Makes me wonder just how she's raising her kids. (In a separate incident, she had a pop record playing and then chided the same kid for singing along to music that wasn't "kids' music". As if it's his responsibility to know which is which!)

It's my belief that if you can be playful like a kid, you can relate better to kids. This in turn can make you a better parent. (Just my two cents).

Anyways,
Welcome to the forum and I hope you'll like it here. :mermaid kiss:

[Mermaid Strega]

Wow that's so sad :( I try to keep my kids involved in most safe adult things. There aren't any real distinctions. We dance, play video games- and id never turn down a chance to play power rangers vs bad guys with the toddler, lol. Who knows, maybe they'll like mermaiding too!

The hardest part is finding the courage to go against what is "normal" and "acceptable" again. I miss when I was younger and had that honey badger don't care attitude lol

My husband loves the tail (he chose the color) and even supports our son having one when he gets big.

/happy ramblings

Merman Dan, you are awesome. Lol your daughter is lucky!

(Well all you beautiful mers are awesome. <3)

[Yulia]

Your son looked so cute in your tail! :D
What a great thing to be able to share together with your family.

[PearlieMae]

Your hubby needs a tail, too!

[Dancing Fish]

I turn 41 tomorrow, and I'm about halfway through the process of making my own silicone tail. My daughter's worn out two tails at this point and I'll be making her a silicone hybrid tail, too. We have a local pool manager who thinks the whole thing is awesome. Lotsa leftover babyfat be damned, life's just too short not to be a mermaid with my kid!

Good on you for doing this with your family. Years from now, you won't look back on these days and think, "I wish I hadn't done that..." ;)

Man, I wish I could talk my husband into a tail. He does like zooming around in the bare manly yellow Rapid monofin, though. Eh, close enough...

[Mermaid Strega]

Haha my husband prob wouldn't get a tail either. I bet he'd enjoy the monofin though if he gave it a shot. My little ones start swim lessons next week, and when my boy becomes a stronger swimmer I'll be getting him a tail then for sure :3

[Noelle1966]

I'm glad that I found this thread. I have such a high stress job and every year I say to myself that I am not going to gain weight from it. However, every year, I do gain weight. It is stress eating and that cortisol stress. I love to dress up as the mermaid. The colors are so beautiful. However, I look at photographs of myself and I feel so ashamed of not only my belly, but everything else. Summer is here again, so I have the chance to finally work out.

[PearlieMae]

Do you love being a mermaid? Do you have friends and family who love you?

Then there is absolutely nothing to be ashamed of. Swim on! :shark:

[PhaylennMurúch]

https://www.facebook.com/PhaylennMermaid/videos/vb.331756720361986/402369223300735/?type=2&amp;theater

^^this is me. 200+pounds and feeling fabulous in my tail and self made top, believe me, as a land walker I am fairly self conscious about my size but once I'm in the water all bets are off

[Noelle1966]

My friend wrote to me and told me that she just beat cancer and she feels great about herself no matter what. I agree with her, but I am still thinking about my weight and my stomach. I want to exercise and eat right again.

[PearlieMae]

My friend wrote to me and told me that she just beat cancer and she feels great about herself no matter what. I agree with her, but I am still thinking about my weight and my stomach. I want to exercise and eat right again.

Then do it.

[Serena the Sea Princess]

What courage you have in posting your feelings about this issue! I know EXACTLY how you feel!!! For most of my life, I weighed 110 pounds, had a washboard stomach and killer legs. After having my 2 beautiful children, I now weigh 150 pounds, a flabbier stomach, big thighs and a big butt. And I'm only 5'2" and I will be 42 years old this summer. Before becoming a mom, I had all the confidence in the world about putting on my tail, becoming a mermaid and showing off my flat stomach. After having my kids and when the extra weight just wouldn't come off, I stayed away from mermaiding for a long time, thinking my post baby body was just too "gross" to don a mermaid tail anymore and I was just too old now, anyway. My kids are now 8 and 6, and last summer, I finally got up enough courage to put my tails o again and get back into mermaiding. I really missed it! I'm slowly beginning to accept that this is my body now and my body is beautiful because it carried and gave birth to 2 wonderful human beings! I'm glad I did decide to get back into my tails, because it really does give you confidence and make you feel beautiful, no matter what your size! Curvy bodies are in and I'm realizing that more and more! Curvy mermaids are beautiful! Embrace your post baby body and just do it!!! :) You'll be glad you did! (By the way, I also have a red fabric tail and I'm also a redhead...well, a bottled redhead, anyway. Lol!) By the way, you can check out pictures from last summer's photoshoot (first photos taken in several years as a mermaid with my post baby body...stomach rolls and all...my husband took the pics...my kids took a couple with me, too! I was so self concious, but I'm glad I did!) at this link: www.facebook.com/mermaidpartyprincess (http://www.facebook.com/mermaidpartyprincess).

[Mermaid Strega]

You are beautiful, Serena!!! It's really amazing to read all your stories and your worries and positive thoughts too. The more I find myself in the water he more confident in becoming. My kids started swim lessons today and I was in the water with them feeling like a million bucks. <3

It almost felt foreign returning to land.

[Mermaid Adrienne]

I just had my first daughter not too long ago and its already taking an effect on how I feel about myself. I look in the mirror and see that my stomach has slightly sagged and it does bring me down a little... I bought a tail recently too. I not only have some stretch marks etc, but I have a large scar across my stomach from having surgery as an infant. I've often thought about what I would tell children who approach me in the water or at the beach. rogue fisherman who managed to snare me in a net? Shark attack? idk. Having children is a wonderful thing though and at times I think that my scars and extra stretchy manatee skin really show the battles I went through with becoming a mother. My labour wasn't easy even though they say 19 year olds have the best births. I did it all without pain relief and it is something to be proud of. My daughter is dark too which kinda puts me one step closer to being ariel lmao.