Friendship building step two.

[Merman Chatfish]

Been trying to make friends including on Tinder. What do people say after Hi to make friendships?

[Imogen Finnly]

Well, you can ask them about interests, hobbies, what music they like. Or if they jave watched any shows lately that they thougjt were good. General conversation eventually leads to mutally enjoyed hobbies and stuff.
Like have you watched the regular show? Im binge watching it on hulu.
Just try not to let the social anxiety of it all effect you.
My husband and i texted each other for over 2 months before we met in person.
You can PM here if you want to practice.

formerly jayy

[Mermaid Ellowyn]

I don't really mess around with Tindr anymore, but I used to! And something that I liked was asking a very thought-provoking or interesting question, none of that "How are you doing" junk that is super boring. I don't like smalltalk, haha. And if we got stuck, I would ask to play a question game where I would ask a question that we both would answer, then they would ask one we both answered, etc until we got off-topic or tired. And if it doesn't work out with a certain person, no worries - there are plenty of other people to talk to! Good luck!

[Merman Chatfish]

Well, you can ask them about interests, hobbies, what music they like. Or if they jave watched any shows lately that they thougjt were good. General conversation eventually leads to mutally enjoyed hobbies and stuff.
Like have you watched the regular show? Im binge watching it on hulu.
Just try not to let the social anxiety of it all effect you.
My husband and i texted each other for over 2 months before we met in person.
You can PM here if you want to practice.

formerly jayy

I do that, usually start off in response to an image or something they said in their profile.
Ha! Oh social anxiety. Maybe that is what I need to do is take my anxiety pills before using tender.


I don't really mess around with Tindr anymore, but I used to! And something that I liked was asking a very thought-provoking or interesting question, none of that "How are you doing" junk that is super boring. I don't like smalltalk, haha. And if we got stuck, I would ask to play a question game where I would ask a question that we both would answer, then they would ask one we both answered, etc until we got off-topic or tired. And if it doesn't work out with a certain person, no worries - there are plenty of other people to talk to! Good luck!
What is an example of a thought-provoking question you use?

[Mermaid Kelda]

Philosophical questions are good (well, I enjoy them anyway). And you get to know more about their basic philosophies, like do they believe in re-incarnation/an afterlife, do they think cannibalism is okay in life or death situations, etc etc.

[Maethor]

Haha be careful with asking questions about cannibalism off the bat without an explanation or context though! :)

[Mermaid Alea]

If it helps think of everyone being very similar to you. I know we all are not completely alike, but surprisingly you share a lot in common with people - more than you may think. I thought I just worry a lot, and then I found out many people have the same worries I do in life.

I don't think my problem is finding something to talk to people about...I think I have an issue getting past that. I don't hang out with anyone outside of college classes or church (except for my boyfriend) and I see people with really strong friendships doing stuff together and having fun and I wish I had a friend other than my boyfriend to hang out with, but then I don't know the other part of me just wants to be left alone and wants to be by myself. I have never been one for hanging out with other people and I don't really like going to parties and being around a bunch of people. It doesn't take long for me to be around people before I am ready to go off and be by myself. I am such a weirdo. Anyways hope I am not hijacking this thread I have just been thinking about friendship building recently too.

[telzey.amberdon]

Do you believe in mermaids?

[Imogen Finnly]

Think of a calm and sooyhing place that relaxes you. Like meditating and imagining that you are on a beach pr something. Usually when i do this i let my imagination run wild and its pretty soothing.
Have you tried talking to people in person?

formerly jayy

[Mermaid Ellowyn]

What is an example of a thought-provoking question you use?

Literally anything that's on my mind at the moment.... common ones I've used in the past include "What do you believe is at the edges of our universe?" or "What do you think is at the bottom of the oceans?" You can google 'deep questions' or 'questions to get to know people' too to see if anything interesting comes up.

[Merman Chatfish]

I don't think my problem is finding something to talk to people about...I think I have an issue getting past that. I don't hang out with anyone outside of college classes or church (except for my boyfriend) and I see people with really strong friendships doing stuff together and having fun and I wish I had a friend other than my boyfriend to hang out with, but then I don't know the other part of me just wants to be left alone and wants to be by myself. I have never been one for hanging out with other people and I don't really like going to parties and being around a bunch of people. It doesn't take long for me to be around people before I am ready to go off and be by myself. I am such a weirdo. Anyways hope I am not hijacking this thread I have just been thinking about friendship building recently too.

Sounds like your an introvert, which I know I am.


Think of a calm and sooyhing place that relaxes you. Like meditating and imagining that you are on a beach pr something. Usually when i do this i let my imagination run wild and its pretty soothing.
Have you tried talking to people in person?

I have to be careful when letting my imagination run...I tend to start thinking of bad thing and that can really screw me up.
With the people on tinder I have tried but so far no one has wanted to hang out...most people don't even respond to asking. Other than work I am probably going to be alone on my birthday again.

My mom says people don't actually hang out that much...maybe once a month and otherwise never sees their friend. I know she is bigger introvert than me. I really hope she is not correct about that.

[Mermaid Kelda]

Well, that is often the case, but not always. I only see my best friends every couple of months, sometimes because we're both busy with life or because they don't live super close to me. But I have enough friends that I'm socialising fairly often. I guess it's a case of finding people whose free time matches yours!

[IllynReaver]

I've been reaching out to people in my pod, seeing who's local and what not. I already know I have mermaiding in common with them, just chatting with people about this and that to see what else we might have in common. Also planning some meetups when I get more experience swimming with my monofin.

[Merman Chatfish]

I've been reaching out to people in my pod, seeing who's local and what not. I already know I have mermaiding in common with them, just chatting with people about this and that to see what else we might have in common. Also planning some meetups when I get more experience swimming with my monofin.

Sadly there is only one other active member in my state (Yay Iowa (Pronounced I Owe Ray)). There does seem to be a few other mers in the state but they are not on here.

[IllynReaver]

Oh no :( that does complicate things a bit.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[Ciriun]

Chatfish, have you considered looking for forums for other things you are interested in? It can help if you already know you have something in common. It does increase the chance that they won't be in your area, but online friendships can still be very fulfilling and long lasting.

As for what to talk about, I have found pets or animals in general to be a good topic. If you own pets it is super easy, but if you don't you can talk about internet famous animals, share funny cat videos, or find news articles about animals. Just be a little careful with stuff like conservation and hunting. That can quickly end up with political debates which I personally find are not good starting topics.

[telzey.amberdon]

Chatfish, do you prefer cat people, dog people, or fish people?

[Merman Chatfish]

Cat people. I don't mind dogs but I prefer cats. Having 8 cats makes it easy to have material to talk about.

[telzey.amberdon]

What do you use for cat litter?

[Merman Chatfish]

What do you use for cat litter?

When I live with my parents some stupid non-clumping stuff my dad buys. I am living at my grandmothers and she uses clumping litter. Dad never cleans the boxes and has no idea how much better clumping is. We have 4 litter boxes at home, but most of our cats are indoor and outdoor mix and when its warm out some will exclusively go outdoors.

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