how i've been feeling about the MER-COMMUNITY

[jukumerboii]

some may like what i've said,
others may not,
i just wanted to get this off my chest after years of sitting back and watching.

WARNING: i am cursing my ass off,,,,well because im grown and mad!

take it how you want.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7gZg8O-bdwA

[OceanWhisper]

:hail:

[SeaGlass Siren]

right at around 3 something i had to pause the video to type..

PREACH.

[Keiris]

HA! Jukumberboii I found that very amusing!!! I have not seen you on here before and you're one of the oldest members on here! I hope you post more often. :D

[SeaGlass Siren]

he speaks the truth tho. juku has his shit together.

[Mermaid Lunette]

yes, love it.

i hope u make more, please. (especially the one you were talking about only ever seeing splash and ariel, sounded like you could really run with that.)

[AniaR]

Sean and I watched this together and laughed so much. You have great personality! You're entertaining to watch!! And I agree with most of what you said. I do want you to know though I never see your stuff on fb lol. I have you liked but the news feed is shit. But I see everything you post on Instagram and I'm proud of you! I feel like I've known you forever.

You're right about mers of color and its not just in the community. We experienced our first racist client after adding someone not white to our team and it was horrible. I always love seeing the tumblr posts about mers of color and diversity.

The rant you mentioned about Suki... I can't remember exactly what I said back then but I think you know I see it from both perspectives as someone who is both a nude model and a kids entertainer.

Anyway great video.

[Keiris]

Yes the videos are GOLD! You remind me of Lafayette from TRUE BLOOD> He was hands down my very favorite character in the series!!!!! :D You should video ALL of your responses on here. LOL

And Raina, I am shocked and disgusted that someone would have the audacity to even question an ethnic Mer on your team! I don't know how YOU handled it but I fear I would have handled it with my webbed fingers around his/her throat. That shit makes me go postal!!!

[Ayla of Duluth]

I love this :)

[Dancing Fish]

As a 40+ mer with short hair and a, shall we say, decidedly non-Ariel-shaped body... Yes to all of this! Though I do have to say I do feel supported here in the community as I fumble my way through the process of doing the mer thing and making a tail...it's the rudeness and attitudes of the outside world seeing me cavorting in my local pool that I'm dreading. But there are lots of people here resisting the cookie cutter stereotype and I really appreciate it.

[Theta]

Rock on, dude. *high five*

[jukumerboii]

thank yall so much for the support!! THATS ALL I ASK! is for everyone to support each other!

if yall want more vids PLEASE let me know! give me some subjects and ill speak my mind! i feel like i can be a voice for EVERYBODY in the community no matter what the issue is! SOMEBODY has to do it.

[SeaGlass Siren]

I'm an asian with short hair. i look more like a mulan than an ariel.
i feel like theres a lot of people who think mermaids can "only be white." or if there is at least another race, it's always the stereotypical thin "asian geisha/koi mermaid" but there is never any support for other races/ mers of different sizes, which is totally unfair.

[Cerulean]

This entire thing was pure gold! I think my absolute favorite part was your long .________________________________________. stare after mentioning people dropping a boatload of cash on expensive tails, then turning around and selling them on ebay.

[AniaR]

Me too haha I laughed so hard

[Keiris]

thank yall so much for the support!! THATS ALL I ASK! is for everyone to support each other!

if yall want more vids PLEASE let me know! give me some subjects and ill speak my mind! i feel like i can be a voice for EVERYBODY in the community no matter what the issue is! SOMEBODY has to do it.

Juku, if you were on a reality show I would SO watch that!!! Wish you lived HERE!

[jukumerboii]

uughh i hate that stereotype of asian mers! its 2015. Asian mers should have any damn pattern on their tail!

[jukumerboii]

Juku, if you were on a reality show I would SO watch that!!! Wish you lived HERE!

haaa i would definitely try to slay on tv!

[Merman Arion]

Omg.. The content of that video seems to be so good I HAVE to watch it once I get to go home from work tonight. Which is in ten minutes haha :p

@juku
Feel free to come to me on FB if you would like to chat sometimes :)

[Cordelia]

Spot on! I'm starting my second fabric tail and it is going to kill! Would I love a silicon tail? Sure. But I also like to eat and have a roof over my head. :sweat drop:

[Talia]

:clap: for Juku

[Mermaid Freyja]

This entire thing was pure gold! I think my absolute favorite part was your long .________________________________________. stare after mentioning people dropping a boatload of cash on expensive tails, then turning around and selling them on ebay.

YES, haha! Comedy gold, and so much truth.
Being of the classically themed mermaid demographic, everything Jukumerboii spoke of in this video is not lost on me.
I see it. As a burlesque performer I've seen some of this subtle and not-so-subtle racism happen in the burlesque scene too.
I'm also noticing a growing trend of having a specific body type, and the performers that fit it get the higher paying, higher profile gigs.
if you happen to be larger, they try to turn that into you 'gimmick' rather than showcasing your abilities as a performer.
It makes me sick to see a scene, that was supposed to be about expression and diversity, get eaten up by the mainstream mentality, again.
I've gotten flack from other communities I'm part of for being, lets just say it, a 'classical' stripper.
To that I say 'frankly my dear, I don't give a damn.' But it's no less hurtful and frustrating, and I still keep the burlesque and mermaid entities pretty separate.

I'm still rather new to the mer community, and have yet to experience any grief given to me for the burlesque, but it might happen someday.
Or it might not, perhaps not even from fellow mers. I've experienced the most negativity from the general public and 'fans' of fellow performers/personalities. In my experience, they are usually the ones to come right out and say, "Well you don't look like ___ . I'm obsessed with ___, so you're not doing it right."
OR, they will call you a copycat of ___; as if you're trying to BE this performer they themselves stalk daily :eye twitch:

I too, am always a little stunned when someone turns around and sells an expensive tail so quickly. There are of course, valid reasons why someone would need to sell a tail so suddenly; a family or sudden health emergency perhaps, where they really need the extra funds or can no longer function in that kind of tail.
Yet I can think of a few instances where I was like 'WHUUUT ARE YOU DOING? You just got it and it's beautiful!'
I'll admit i want a silicone tail, BAD. But I love my fabric tail, too, and will be making more fabric tails, and sequin tails, and so on.
I want ALL the kinds of tails. I like my tails as I like my friends and chosen family; truly diverse!
XOXO

[PearlieMae]

I can't wait to watch this! I can't while I'm at work :(

[Merley]

I whole-heartedly agree with everything mentioned in the video. Right on, Juku, for being the voice we need. It'd be nice to hear more from you more often.

As someone who also has a job in the same line of work as Freyja, I understand the struggles of maintaining two (what appear to be) drastically different worlds. I worry about how my job [which I enjoy doing] will reflect upon my desire to be a kids' entertainer. The people at work interested about learning more seem supportive, yet I'm not so sure the people who would be hiring me to do their kid's birthday party will feel the same way. I know some people I've already told about my idea make a face and tell me it's inappropriate. But honestly, mermaid and stripper aren't much different, just saying. Plus, my job pays the bills [and then some] while providing money for tails, tops, and other mer-related endevours regarding starting my business.

I feel like the Mernetwork community generally tries to be accepting of mers of all shapes, sizes, and colors as long as they have a passion for what they do. You can see excitement for people regardless of what their tail is made of in the 'show us your tails' thread and a lot of support for anyone brave enough to post in the 'I just had a photoshoot' thread. I feel like a lot of the image backlash comes from non-mers outside of the community who have a specific idea, usually inspired by Ariel and other waif-like petite figures about what a mermaid should look like. *cough*project mermaid*cough* It's unfortunate people feel this way. I think there is room in the mermaiding world for all kinds of mermaids and mermen, regardless of race, gender, sex, job, interests, or what your tail is made of. I just wish the support we saw here translated into success in the outside world when it comes to getting gigs or working under mermaids who are well established and have things worth teaching.

Either way, like you said Juku, I think anyone who wants to be a mer should be a mer. And they should feel empowered when coming here, not belittled or ostracized. I've learned a lot about mermaiding since I joined this site, things you can't learn on a Wikipedia page, no matter how much we tweak it. Mernetwork is an invaluable resource to any aspiring mer. I'd like to think anyone hoping to be a part of this community/world feels welcome here.

[jukumerboii]

yes you guys!! spread the word!!

[Mermaid Freyja]

Ugh, if only I could make BANK at burlesque, lol! I unfortunately do not, and keep a day job in logistics for a social media company. It's a very corporate, yet oddly relaxed, environment.
It pays the bills while the burlesque pays for the Swarovski and feathers ;)..ok and maybe some good champagne.
There are very few who know about my alter ego at work and they appreciate it, but yeah; there is that fear of being 'found out' by someone less accepting who just wants to be a drama mama.

[MermaidAine]

Such a great video!!! Couldn't agree more!

[Echidna]

As I've said many times, in many different threads:

for me, mermaiding is about feeling connected to the water and its inhabitants, and the passion about it.
I will cheer on anyone regardless of what they look like and what their tail is made of- in fact, I admire well home-made tails a lot more than any "bomb-ass" (lol!) silicone tail someone just splurged a boatload of money on.

And while I of course love the looks of many silicone tails just as much as the next person, if it's evident the owner lacks true passion and love for water and regards the tail just as an accessoire to be seen and adored in, that is always a letdown somehow.

I have to admit I'm not big on social media.
I only made a FB account because I read that's a must for a working mer.
Guess I'm just too old for that kind of stuff :p

But I love MN, and I will continue coming here!

[jukumerboii]

YES, haha! Comedy gold, and so much truth.
Being of the classically themed mermaid demographic, everything Jukumerboii spoke of in this video is not lost on me.
I see it. As a burlesque performer I've seen some of this subtle and not-so-subtle racism happen in the burlesque scene too.
I'm also noticing a growing trend of having a specific body type, and the performers that fit it get the higher paying, higher profile gigs.
if you happen to be larger, they try to turn that into you 'gimmick' rather than showcasing your abilities as a performer.
It makes me sick to see a scene, that was supposed to be about expression and diversity, get eaten up by the mainstream mentality, again.
I've gotten flack from other communities I'm part of for being, lets just say it, a 'classical' stripper.
To that I say 'frankly my dear, I don't give a damn.' But it's no less hurtful and frustrating, and I still keep the burlesque and mermaid entities pretty separate.

I'm still rather new to the mer community, and have yet to experience any grief given to me for the burlesque, but it might happen someday.
Or it might not, perhaps not even from fellow mers. I've experienced the most negativity from the general public and 'fans' of fellow performers/personalities. In my experience, they are usually the ones to come right out and say, "Well you don't look like ___ . I'm obsessed with ___, so you're not doing it right."
OR, they will call you a copycat of ___; as if you're trying to BE this performer they themselves stalk daily :eye twitch:

I too, am always a little stunned when someone turns around and sells an expensive tail so quickly. There are of course, valid reasons why someone would need to sell a tail so suddenly; a family or sudden health emergency perhaps, where they really need the extra funds or can no longer function in that kind of tail.
Yet I can think of a few instances where I was like 'WHUUUT ARE YOU DOING? You just got it and it's beautiful!'
I'll admit i want a silicone tail, BAD. But I love my fabric tail, too, and will be making more fabric tails, and sequin tails, and so on.
I want ALL the kinds of tails. I like my tails as I like my friends and chosen family; truly diverse!
XOXO

i feel every bit of what you just sad! its sad that we worlds we go to, to escape the HUMAN life we live with everyday, shouldn't have this much BULLSHIT going on. i honestly think you should put your mermaid self in with a routine tbh! kinda like a mermaid turning into a burlesque dancer. it would draw a crowd and be DIFFERENT !

[jukumerboii]

As I've said many times, in many different threads:

for me, mermaiding is about feeling connected to the water and its inhabitants, and the passion about it.
I will cheer on anyone regardless of what they look like and what their tail is made of- in fact, I admire well home-made tails a lot more than any "bomb-ass" (lol!) silicone tail someone just splurged a boatload of money on.

And while I of course love the looks of many silicone tails just as much as the next person, if it's evident the owner lacks true passion and love for water and regards the tail just as an accessoire to be seen and adored in, that is always a letdown somehow.

I have to admit I'm not big on social media.
I only made a FB account because I read that's a must for a working mer.
Guess I'm just too old for that kind of stuff :p

But I love MN, and I will continue coming here!

i agree 100%

[Echidna]

i honestly think you should put your mermaid self in with a routine tbh! kinda like a mermaid turning into a burlesque dancer. it would draw a crowd and be DIFFERENT !
Yes!
I'm doing it, just the other way around (I do a short dance performance on land before diving into the water for the main choreography).

A burlesque setting might be even better, because I've been told my land piece (accomodating the tail, a jazzdance-bellydance fusion) was "much too sensual and seductive" for "normal spectators".

When did the classical image of deadly sirens get replaced with bubbly Disney kid entertainers? :/

[Mermaid Freyja]

i feel every bit of what you just sad! its sad that we worlds we go to, to escape the HUMAN life we live with everyday, shouldn't have this much BULLSHIT going on. i honestly think you should put your mermaid self in with a routine tbh! kinda like a mermaid turning into a burlesque dancer. it would draw a crowd and be DIFFERENT !

LOL!! I'm actually doing nearly that for a performance at Pirate Fest later this month :lol:
I start out as a fancy 1770s lady who is a burlesque mermaid in disguise, complete with sparkly starfish hanging onto my ta-tas for dear life!
It's such a fun act.

[MermaidCelesteFL]

When did the classical image of deadly sirens get replaced with bubbly Disney kid entertainers? :/


I'd like to know this myself. Not that I don't like kids' parties, they bring in money. But at the same time, I want more corporate gigs and gigs for adult-centered events. I may work for disney, but I am not a fan of being bombarded by 5-year-olds and 3-year-olds. Sometimes their parents point out that I have pudge around my tail, and therefore am not a real mermaid. NOT ALL MERMAIDS HAVE PERFECT BODIES, YOU KNOW. Geez, media, get it right. Merpeople are people, too.

[Merley]

I'd like to know this myself. Not that I don't like kids' parties, they bring in money. But at the same time, I want more corporate gigs and gigs for adult-centered events. I may work for disney, but I am not a fan of being bombarded by 5-year-olds and 3-year-olds. Sometimes their parents point out that I have pudge around my tail, and therefore am not a real mermaid. NOT ALL MERMAIDS HAVE PERFECT BODIES, YOU KNOW. Geez, media, get it right. Merpeople are people, too.

You work for Disney? As a mermaid or just a general employee? Also, parents point that out? Jeeze people, have a little class. That's so rude.

[SeaGlass Siren]

Using their logic that must mean Marina Del Rey isn't a mermaid either because she's fat. Ugh people can be so stupid.

[SeaGlass Siren]

But also; when Disney decided to include mermaids in Peter Pan and made their version of the little mermaid. A

[Ashe]

You friend, are a beautiful person.
What really resonated with me was when you talked about how mers with silicone tails are no better than mers with fabric tails. I always get so jealous whenever I see people get new silicone tails like no big deal, and shove it in your faces. I've worked for years to just get the materials to make my tail, and so do many others. I get really downhearted but I need to remember that I'm just as much of a mer as anybody else even when I don't have a fantastic tail. It's not a competition, its a community.

[Echidna]

I would imagine if people are being competitive, it would be along the lines of "who swims the fastest, who dives the deepest, who has the longest breath-hold".
And not "who has the prettiest, most expensive tail" lol.

As the former is more like a sports competition. The latter is a beauty pageant.

[Fun123joker]

tbh when i saw the video i was so scared it would be you talking about the comunitty being shit but i will never regret clicking play because this is the truth!

[shimmygoddess]

I want to thank you for making this video. Everything you said is spot on and I have encountered this shit as well. I have said this many times, but there is more drama in the mermaid community than in my local dance community. ( I am a bellydancer too). It is unbelievable. There is alot of EGO in the community and even got into a heated debate with someone regarding silicone vs. fabric tails and why he thinks people w/ fabric tails shouldn't be performing. Some people only care about popularity and they think they are better then everyone else unless you are in their inner circle. There will be people like that in every community though and all we can do is recognize them and distance ourself. Def. going to find you on FB..Rock on!

**edit: your links aren't working for me, can you post a link to your FB page?

[jukumerboii]

I want to thank you for making this video. Everything you said is spot on and I have encountered this shit as well. I have said this many times, but there is more drama in the mermaid community than in my local dance community. ( I am a bellydancer too). It is unbelievable. There is alot of EGO in the community and even got into a heated debate with someone regarding silicone vs. fabric tails and why he thinks people w/ fabric tails shouldn't be performing. Some people only care about popularity and they think they are better then everyone else unless you are in their inner circle. There will be people like that in every community though and all we can do is recognize them and distance ourself. Def. going to find you on FB..Rock on!

**edit: your links aren't working for me, can you post a link to your FB page?
https://www.facebook.com/rastablix?ref=hl

[Mermaid Jaffa]

Haha! I love how you said "silicone tails gotta get yer ass off yer seahorse" comment over the high end tails vs fabric tails. Since I've joined, I have always felt that people have preference over others who own/make silicone tails. There needs to be more love for recreational mers. Not just for pros or fancy silicone tails.

[Winged Mermaid]

Well said! :highfive:

It's sad that there can be issues like this in the mer community, but it seems as the community has gotten older and larger this kind of stuff starts becoming an issue :/

I'll admit I have had luck with being a "traditional" looking mer that's "appealing" to the mainstream. But honestly every time someone says to me, "You look just like Ariel!" I smile and say thank you.. but inside my heart breaks a little. Because that's not what this is about. :/ (Side note, kind of hate Ariel for being/turning into the mainstream "standard" for mermaids to be judged off of.) It's not about being cookie cutter, it's not about being white or thin or having long hair or having a fancy tail. It's about what's in your heart, ya know? IMO you don't even NEED to have a tail to be a mer! The tails are just extensions of the connection we feel to the water, that we have inside. And of course is a ton of fun to swim in ;)

Now that mermaiding has gotten popular more people know about it, which is great! But it's hearbreaking too, cause I run into people a lot that say they WANT to be a mermaid or merman, but they say things like "I can't be a mermaid because I'm not skinny enough" or "I'll get a tail when I lose weight, I HAVE to do that first!". Also, "I want to be a mermaid but I don't have enough money for one of those silicone tails" or "I want to but I have too many body mods to have the right look for it". :( I always try and convince them that no, you don't need to be thin, you don't need to have a fancy tail, and a "right look" with mers doesn't exist! But I very rarely win them over. It always makes me so sad.

Another thing that's depressing... is that yeah, a lot of the time mers with fabric tails don't get as much support as ones with realistic or silicone tails. I see it all the time, someone upgrades to a better tail, they get more support. Yeah, a lot of this is because the numbers on social media is largely not the mer community- it's people who like mermaids but aren't in the community themselves, and it's sad but they like the more realistic/fancy looking tails and photos (yay shallow content driven social media madness). But it's true to a degree within the community as well :/

I honestly think the mer community started going down hill with this mentality whenever Facebook started allowing people to make pages for themselves. It became this stupid popularity contest about who had more likes. That made for this super toxic idea that more likes meant you were better than others with less likes. Some actually thought that they were better, and others automatically started thinking of themselves as "less than" the others for not having as many. A lot of mers started to make getting more likes/followers/ect the goal instead of just doing it because they loved doing it. I mean for heavens sake, some mers I've seen buying fake likes just to look more popular! :doh: (I mean c'mon, there have been whole thread on here about it!) And from there it spread to other social media platforms.

I love the page system, and other social media where people have mer accounts, because it lets me keep up with everyone (although I'm a serious lurker now instead of being super engaged like I use to, but that's for personal reasons). But it turning into this silly toxic competition is just so stupid. That's why I like the forum a lot. There are no numbers here to make anyone look "better" than anyone else. You get out what you put in, in the engagement in the forum with other mers.

So yeah.. I guess that's my little rant :P Thanks for taking the time and courage to speak up about these issues! And now I have your YouTube so I can subscribe for any other thoughts you may choose to post ;)

[mermaid_ashes]

Man, all of this is so true and so upsetting. In every hobby I've ever been involved in (bjd, partyprincess/cosplay, and to a less extent burlesque) outsiders allways want to make it about who has the prettiest or most expensive it thing. It stems from our martialistic culture.

Sure I want a silicon tail, and maybe someday I'll have one. It's sad that people feel like the tail and the body type the most important thing about being a mermaid though, it really shouldn't be about that. Sigh. Ah well as it goes with most things when your hobby becomes mainstream you have to deal with mainstream prejudices.

[Echidna]

Another thing that's depressing... is that yeah, a lot of the time mers with fabric tails don't get as much support as ones with realistic or silicone tails. I see it all the time, someone upgrades to a better tail, they get more support.
Isn't the thinking that some tails are "better" than others part of the problem?

Silicone isn't "better". It's different.
It can look more realistic.
Fabric, however, has advantages silicone doesn't have.
I don't see any material as an upgrade, so much as a variant of tail for different purposes.

If you're into pro photoshoots and looking as realistic as possible, yeah, silicone is the way to go.
If you are a heavy sinker and would like to have an easier time swimming, neoprene might be good.
If you want to have a lightweight tail to do acrobatic stuff in, fabric is best.

I couldn't do half of my waterballet techniques in a silicone tail for example, simply because silicone is heavy outside of water.
(I'd probably break my ankles trying)

I agree with the statement that sometimes, not even a tail is needed to be a mer.
Accomplished synchro swimmers and divers are often called mermaids already.
I'd call the Atlanteans from the Underwater Realm mers, and they don't have tails or fins.
I have seen and imagined many mermaid-looking costumes that do not include a tail and still look like something from the deep sea.

[AniaR]

Iona you so hit it on the head!!

[Mermaid Galene]

Humans are a status-seeking species by nature; it's a primate thing. (Well, not only primates. Fish care a lot about status, too!) But using mermaiding to try to gain status completely misses the point of swimming and/or performing in a tail. It's not about what other mermaids are wearing or doing. It's not about what clueless bystanders think. It's not about who can accumulate the most mer wealth (if silicone is the gold standard). It's not about who's the prettiest, thinnest, youngest or any other "est."

For me, mermaiding is about this: becoming one with the waters of this planet, and in so doing becoming one with the aquatic spirit that lies within each human being. It's what you feel like in a tail that matters, not what you look like. Mermaiding is also about educating other humans, so that they become more informed about the needs of all the creatures that live in and depend upon water. And it's about art, nourishing imagination and creativity.

There are an infinite number of ways to immerse oneself in the mer world. I think most experienced folks on MerNetwork get that. For those who worry, worry, worry about their status; worry, worry, worry about how others perceive them; and worry, worry, worry about how to get a silicone tail:

Just. Stop. Worrying. If you FEEL like a creature of the water and behave like a creature of the water, you are one, regardless of what you are or aren't wearing.

[SINicallyTwisted]

I've been told a few times that I'm a "mockery to all things mermaid" because A) I don't have a 'realistic' looking mermaid tail IE silicone/latex/dragonscale etc and B) my costumes are not 'traditional mermaid looks' as well as my artwork. Sure they're hurtful words but I like to think that I have tough skin. I smile and thank them for taking time out of their lives to come to me and state their opinions. Granted in my mind, I've fin slapped the carp out of you and feed you to imaginary sharks that devoured your carcass in a bloody pool of rage BUT I am well aware of how opinionated people can be and that what I do / design isn't going to be something everyone may like and that's fine. If no one likes it than no one likes it. I do it all, not for others but because I enjoy it and if I inspire people then groovy cool, the more the merrier and I will totally encourage more mer-creativity but as far as the ninnie-booboos, I generally shrug them off but it does make me sad and smh when I see mers spew toxic word vomit at one another. :(

"The greatest prison people live in, is the fear of what other people think."

*swims back to her creative hole and goes back to work*

[Ashe]

You all remember this thread, right? Our growing community. (http://mernetwork.com/index/showthread.php?10576-Our-growing-community)

Some people took that for me saying 'I hate new members!!! New members aren't real mermaids!!! Only mers who have been around for a long time are real mers!!!' Yeah, I had new members who I was the first to talk to and welcome say that about my thread and myself. As I've said time and time before, that is in no way what that thread was intended for! It was intended to point out all of this.
Because of the community growing and changing, it's just become one big drama competition I feel. It's sad and i just wish it would stop. I have had real life friends tell me that they want to join MerNetwork just to see everything we bitch about and get in on the drama. It is the most frustrating thing, really.
I feel like I've said way too much on this subject over the last few months and I think I'm just done trying to find a change. It's just so sad but I'm glad that everyone is really responding nicely to Juku's video :)

[Ariel-Starfish]

Well said! :highfive:

It's sad that there can be issues like this in the mer community, but it seems as the community has gotten older and larger this kind of stuff starts becoming an issue :/

I'll admit I have had luck with being a "traditional" looking mer that's "appealing" to the mainstream. But honestly every time someone says to me, "You look just like Ariel!" I smile and say thank you.. but inside my heart breaks a little. Because that's not what this is about. :/ (Side note, kind of hate Ariel for being/turning into the mainstream "standard" for mermaids to be judged off of.) It's not about being cookie cutter, it's not about being white or thin or having long hair or having a fancy tail. It's about what's in your heart, ya know? IMO you don't even NEED to have a tail to be a mer! The tails are just extensions of the connection we feel to the water, that we have inside. And of course is a ton of fun to swim in ;)

Now that mermaiding has gotten popular more people know about it, which is great! But it's hearbreaking too, cause I run into people a lot that say they WANT to be a mermaid or merman, but they say things like "I can't be a mermaid because I'm not skinny enough" or "I'll get a tail when I lose weight, I HAVE to do that first!". Also, "I want to be a mermaid but I don't have enough money for one of those silicone tails" or "I want to but I have too many body mods to have the right look for it". :( I always try and convince them that no, you don't need to be thin, you don't need to have a fancy tail, and a "right look" with mers doesn't exist! But I very rarely win them over. It always makes me so sad.

Another thing that's depressing... is that yeah, a lot of the time mers with fabric tails don't get as much support as ones with realistic or silicone tails. I see it all the time, someone upgrades to a better tail, they get more support. Yeah, a lot of this is because the numbers on social media is largely not the mer community- it's people who like mermaids but aren't in the community themselves, and it's sad but they like the more realistic/fancy looking tails and photos (yay shallow content driven social media madness). But it's true to a degree within the community as well :/

I honestly think the mer community started going down hill with this mentality whenever Facebook started allowing people to make pages for themselves. It became this stupid popularity contest about who had more likes. That made for this super toxic idea that more likes meant you were better than others with less likes. Some actually thought that they were better, and others automatically started thinking of themselves as "less than" the others for not having as many. A lot of mers started to make getting more likes/followers/ect the goal instead of just doing it because they loved doing it. I mean for heavens sake, some mers I've seen buying fake likes just to look more popular! :doh: (I mean c'mon, there have been whole thread on here about it!) And from there it spread to other social media platforms.

I love the page system, and other social media where people have mer accounts, because it lets me keep up with everyone (although I'm a serious lurker now instead of being super engaged like I use to, but that's for personal reasons). But it turning into this silly toxic competition is just so stupid. That's why I like the forum a lot. There are no numbers here to make anyone look "better" than anyone else. You get out what you put in, in the engagement in the forum with other mers.

So yeah.. I guess that's my little rant :P Thanks for taking the time and courage to speak up about these issues! And now I have your YouTube so I can subscribe for any other thoughts you may choose to post ;)


THIS!! :bravo: :bravo:

[AniaR]

well didnt you all know? I'm not professional enough because I don't free dive? I'm a fake pro mermaid! cuz you know, I don't free dive... in the freaking cold and dark atlantic ocean I live in. lol doesnt matter anything else I've done. I'm not a freediver so nope! lol

^been told this and many other stupid things but people right here on the forum over the years

[Mermaid Sirenia]

Yes!
I'm doing it, just the other way around (I do a short dance performance on land before diving into the water for the main choreography).

A burlesque setting might be even better, because I've been told my land piece (accomodating the tail, a jazzdance-bellydance fusion) was "much too sensual and seductive" for "normal spectators".

When did the classical image of deadly sirens get replaced with bubbly Disney kid entertainers? :/
Agreed! Though for kids events I do kind mermaid, my favorite is the dark mermaid/siren! As you can see in the most recent photoshoot I did:)

and this video is perfect! Everything about it was true! I have tattoos so all the time adults ask "how the heck does a mermaid get tattoos" and every time I reply "Urchin needles and squid ink of course!"

I find that kids are more open to the diversity of mermaids/mermen than adults are. People need to just get the sticks out of their butt and stop thinking all mermaids look the same!

[Mermaid Isabel]

totally agree with you Juku! I mean people are born different, then merpeople are born different as well. how can there be people who bitch around because mers should be of a certain skin, hair, size. Be out there, be different, be yourself!!!!! :D

[Winged Mermaid]

Isn't the thinking that some tails are "better" than others part of the problem?

Silicone isn't "better". It's different.
It can look more realistic.
Fabric, however, has advantages silicone doesn't have.
I don't see any material as an upgrade, so much as a variant of tail for different purposes.

I mean to to put "upgrade" and "better" in quotations like that, but I was going between typing and cooking dinner (cause I couldn't stop thinking about it after watching the video but had to make food :P). I didn't mean to upset anyone by accidentally leaving those out.

[Echidna]

I wasn't upset, but thank you for clarifying! :thumbs up:

Seems we all agree about everything here. ;)

[Imogen Finnly]

Jukumerboii! Ive only seen a handful of posts from you! Ive only seen you in that yellow tail you commissioned!
I have a book of mermaid tales from round the world and there are south African tales, chinese, the classic Danish, everything you can think of. Its more of a mind set.

formerly jayy

[Mermaid Aika]

I agree with this. We need to be a more supportive community!
(Btw- no type of tail is "the best")

[telzey.amberdon]

I've been told a few times that I'm a "mockery to all things mermaid" because A) I don't have a 'realistic' looking mermaid tail IE silicone/latex/dragonscale etc and B) my costumes are not 'traditional mermaid looks' as well as my artwork. Sure they're hurtful words but I like to think that I have tough skin. I smile and thank them for taking time out of their lives to come to me and state their opinions. Granted in my mind, I've fin slapped the carp out of you and feed you to imaginary sharks that devoured your carcass in a bloody pool of rage BUT I am well aware of how opinionated people can be and that what I do / design isn't going to be something everyone may like and that's fine. If no one likes it than no one likes it. I do it all, not for others but because I enjoy it and if I inspire people then groovy cool, the more the merrier and I will totally encourage more mer-creativity but as far as the ninnie-booboos, I generally shrug them off but it does make me sad and smh when I see mers spew toxic word vomit at one another. :(

"The greatest prison people live in, is the fear of what other people think."

*swims back to her creative hole and goes back to work*

You have a steampunk tail. What can anybody say to that other than "Wow!!".

[Starfrit]

Juku, you and your entire video are PERFECTION. Your rant was amazing and hit on SO many points that I've been having issues with myself regarding the mercommunity, especially with regards to people who use their tails as a status symbol and bitch about people being more or less Mer than others.

The community needs more of your realness, man. <3

[Rennara]

PREACH!
I am a pretty new member to the community and new to the concept of mermaid-ing in general. But a lot of what you said struck home. I'm a fat kid and always will be, and it took me a long time and much soul searching to realize that I am more that what is on the outside. Because of society's outlook on size, I've had to develop a fairly thick skin about that kind of stuff and trust to the people in my inner circle to love me for who I am on the inside and to help me see the beauty on the outside.

So, aren't we in the Mer community supposed to be eachother's inner circle? Shouldn't we be showing love to each and every Mer to make up for the unkindness and ignorance of the people on the outside? We are all here because we feel a deeper connection to or love of the water, the sea, the mythology. We are connected by love and should show it.
I have fortunately not personally experienced much of the kind of negativity you've addressed, but I have seen it. It's ugly. I don't want to be a part of that ugliness. I want to give the kind of love and support I got when I first joined. I don't have a tail yet, or even a monofin, but that doesn't make me one ounce less a Mer or a part of the community. I won't have a seashell top, because any seashell big enough to hold these suckers will either be too expensive or too heavy. I'm not the stereotype and never will be, but I don't need to be. I eat fish, eat meat, have an excess of flesh, have a tattoo, follow a non-mainstream faith, have non-mainstream interests and love who I am.
As for diversity in Mers, I cannot begin to express how much that shit makes me excited. When I see someone with a different take on something I love, or who doesn't fit "the box"... BAM! Inspiration. We are the same on the inside, but we're different on the outside. If we weren't, life would be pretty boring. I live in California. This place is diverse as heck and all the more amazing because of it. I don't want to see people shoved into a category. I want to experience everything positive that everyone has to offer, embrace that shit and encourage it in whatever way I personally can. If you ever need a cheerful word, message me.

[Prince Calypso]

Well said! :highfive:

It's sad that there can be issues like this in the mer community, but it seems as the community has gotten older and larger this kind of stuff starts becoming an issue :/

I'll admit I have had luck with being a "traditional" looking mer that's "appealing" to the mainstream. But honestly every time someone says to me, "You look just like Ariel!" I smile and say thank you.. but inside my heart breaks a little. Because that's not what this is about. :/ (Side note, kind of hate Ariel for being/turning into the mainstream "standard" for mermaids to be judged off of.) It's not about being cookie cutter, it's not about being white or thin or having long hair or having a fancy tail. It's about what's in your heart, ya know? IMO you don't even NEED to have a tail to be a mer! The tails are just extensions of the connection we feel to the water, that we have inside. And of course is a ton of fun to swim in ;)

Now that mermaiding has gotten popular more people know about it, which is great! But it's hearbreaking too, cause I run into people a lot that say they WANT to be a mermaid or merman, but they say things like "I can't be a mermaid because I'm not skinny enough" or "I'll get a tail when I lose weight, I HAVE to do that first!". Also, "I want to be a mermaid but I don't have enough money for one of those silicone tails" or "I want to but I have too many body mods to have the right look for it". :( I always try and convince them that no, you don't need to be thin, you don't need to have a fancy tail, and a "right look" with mers doesn't exist! But I very rarely win them over. It always makes me so sad.

Another thing that's depressing... is that yeah, a lot of the time mers with fabric tails don't get as much support as ones with realistic or silicone tails. I see it all the time, someone upgrades to a better tail, they get more support. Yeah, a lot of this is because the numbers on social media is largely not the mer community- it's people who like mermaids but aren't in the community themselves, and it's sad but they like the more realistic/fancy looking tails and photos (yay shallow content driven social media madness). But it's true to a degree within the community as well :/

I honestly think the mer community started going down hill with this mentality whenever Facebook started allowing people to make pages for themselves. It became this stupid popularity contest about who had more likes. That made for this super toxic idea that more likes meant you were better than others with less likes. Some actually thought that they were better, and others automatically started thinking of themselves as "less than" the others for not having as many. A lot of mers started to make getting more likes/followers/ect the goal instead of just doing it because they loved doing it. I mean for heavens sake, some mers I've seen buying fake likes just to look more popular! :doh: (I mean c'mon, there have been whole thread on here about it!) And from there it spread to other social media platforms.

I love the page system, and other social media where people have mer accounts, because it lets me keep up with everyone (although I'm a serious lurker now instead of being super engaged like I use to, but that's for personal reasons). But it turning into this silly toxic competition is just so stupid. That's why I like the forum a lot. There are no numbers here to make anyone look "better" than anyone else. You get out what you put in, in the engagement in the forum with other mers.

So yeah.. I guess that's my little rant :P Thanks for taking the time and courage to speak up about these issues! And now I have your YouTube so I can subscribe for any other thoughts you may choose to post ;)


you literally just said everything i wanted to say but couldn't really put into words myself

[Mermaid Alea]

Great video and I too would love to see more vids! :)

I agree we all deal with enough in the real world. We should all try to inspire each other to keep Mernetwork a friendly escape from reality. Hopefully we can even inspire new members to be kind and see the mer outlook on things even if some of them are here for just a short time.

Recently I was really inspired by how a lot of the Canadian mers got together to spread awareness and spread truth about the banning of monofins at a Canadian pool, and how not just Canadian mers but other mers too got involved by replying to people's posts trying to help educate people that monofins and tails are not as unsafe as they think, etc. I really liked seeing a lot of mers come together to shed light on the ban issue.

I think all tails are beautiful and all kinds of tails have so many possibilities. There are fabric tails on here that have made me start drooling. The same thing can be said for all other types of tails.