View Full Version : Mermaid Story

12-28-2011, 08:46 PM
Hi guys! I am hoping to be a published author one day and this is my first attempt. I have writing this book about a girl who discovers she is a mermaid. It is aimed at kids ages 9-13. Here it is, it is not finished yet but tell me what you think.

My Friend is a Fish
Chapter 1
I stood nervously on the slippery diving blocks. I glanced down at the water. It looked so deep, so cold. A chill ran through me and I had grip onto the block to keep from falling off.
My best friend Miranda was tense on the diving block next to me in lane five, her long golden brown hair was stuffed in the tight faded yellow and blue swim team cap. My thin shoulder length blond hair easlily fit into my brand new cap. Next to me in lane three was Erica, who had just started swim team this season, like me.
"Swimmers, take your marks." I heard the anoucer say and then suddenly the loud buzz went off and we dove in. The icy water rushed passed me as I held my streamline. Even through the water I could hear my younger brother cheering for me in the stands.
I crashed up through the surface of the water and gasped for a breath. I reached my arms out and pumped my legs as hard as I could doing butterfly. Even going as hard as I was, Miranda was much faster. I watched her out of the corner of my eye as she gracefully flew through the water. She appeared totally at ease, not even trying her hardest I bet. She made it look more like dancing than swimming.
Me and Erica were tied for the first lap but I passed her on the second lap. There was no way I could beat Miranda, but maybe I could at least get a second and beat Erica. Erica raced up behind me in the fourth lap and I knew I had to speed up to get to the finish before her.
I glanced ahead and saw Miranda sitting on the edge of the pool, already finished, taking her hair out of the swim team cap. Erica was edging up behind me and so I pumped my arms and legs even harder. Almost there.....just a little further!....and...yes! I breathed a sigh of relief as I climbed out of the pool, exhausted.
Miranda smiled and gave me a high-five, "You did great Jen!" I laughed, "Not nearly as good as you," Miranda shook her head and said "It doesn't matter what place you get, I glanced at your time on the timers stopwatch and you beat your old time by five seconds! That amazing!" I suddenly heard Erica yell from somewhere behind me, "Awesome job Jenna!" I turned around, "You too!" I called back.
My mom and little brother, Jake, came running up with our towels. It was surprisingly chilly for the begining of June, so I was glad to wrap up in my fluffy pink and orange towel. "You girls go and change out of your swimsuits and then we can go get some dinner." my mom told us. We nodded our heads and ran to the locker room.
I was glad the swim meet was over. I like swim team, but I am not nearly as good as Miranda or lots of the other girls on our team. Miranda is the fastest swimmer on our team. She has beat at least three records and wins pretty much every race. She introduced me to swim team and I mainly do it to be with her.
The small locker room was hot, loud, and crowded. We walked inside and I was suddenly hit with the excited chater of about forty girls all at once. We searched all over but every single stall was taken. Me and Miranda had to go to the corner of the room and I held up a towel for her to change. Once she was done she held up a towel for me. I glanced down at our faded string friendship bracelets we had made when we first became friends last year, when we were eleven. Mine is pink and orange and Miranda's is blue and purple. I was surprised that they had lasted for a whole year and expected them to fall off any day now.
Once we changed out of out swimsuits and made an attempt to brush our tangled hair we ran to my mom's car and hopped inside. My hair got the back of my shirt soaked. I shivered even though the heater was on on full blast. I looked out at the depressing cloudy and gray sky and hoped it wouldn't rain.
We drove down the street to the Silver Cow, which we all agree has the best french fries in all of California. My mom searched around for a parking spot and finally found one behind the restraunt.
We got out of the car and walked around the building to the entrance. I pushed open the swinging glass door and breathed in the scent of french fries. The small fast food restraunt was crowded and noisy. We walked up to counter and got in line to order.
"May I take your order?" the teenage girl at the counter asked. "Three chicken strips with french fries and one cheeseburger." my mom said. "Mom! I told you I wanted a cheesburger like you!" Jake said, tugging on my mom's shirt. "Sorry, make that two chicken stips and two cheeseburgers." The girl nodded her head and handed us a number.
"Where do you guys want to sit?" my mom asked. There wasn't much of a selection but fortunatley we found a booth in the back and sat down before anyone else grabbed it.
"Twenty three!" We heard our number shouted over all the noise. Miranda and Jake eagerly hoppped up and ran to get our food. They carefully walked back to our table, balancing two plates each on their arms. Once they plates were passed out we began to eat. I was so tired from the swim meet I hardly said anything. Fortunatley Miranda was being as bubbly and energetic as usual and did enough talking for the both of us.
I tuned out the conversation and was about to fall asleep when I felt Miranda poke me in the ribs and say "Right, Jennna?" I looked up from my food and asked "What?" with a confused look on my face. She sighed and repeated what she must have asked me before "You have some string at your house, right? Because my bracelet just fell off so I thought we could make new ones if you have more. I know a different way to make them so we can have four colors." I nodded my head "Yeah I still have some, but we used up all the red string for that project we had just before the end of school."
Before she could say anything in response Jake impatiently asked "Can we go now? I am done with my food." My mom nodded her head and said "I'm all finished, are you girls ready to go?" "Wait!" Miranda said in an urgent voice, and then popped her last french fry in her mouth. "Okay I'm ready." she said with a smile on her face. Jake laughed like it was the funniest thing he had ever seen and then we headed out to the car.
It took us a minute to find our car in the huge parking lot and we accidently tried to open someone elses car that looked identical. Once we finally found our car we got inside and drove home.
We usually dropped Miranda off at her house on the corner. But, her parents were both out of town for some scientist meeting up north and she was staying the night so we continued down the street to my house.
We arrived at my house around five o'clock. Me and Miranda jumped out of the car before it even stopped all the way. We ran inside, through the large kitchen, and up the stairs to my room. Miranda plopped down on my bed and petted my cat Daisy. Daisy's bright orange fur quickly covered Miranda's pale purple tee shirt and her faded denim shorts.
Miranda's golden brown hair cascaded down her shoulders. I usually didn't think much of her hair but it was beautiful, especially compared to my thin short hair. I was jealous.
"I'll go get the string for our bracelets" I said and then hurried out of the room and down the hall to the large dresser where we kept miscellaneous things. I opened several drawers before finding the one with the string and the scissors in it. I pulled out the tangled mass of multicolored strings and the pair of scissors and then ran back to my room.
"Here is the stuff." I said. "Great! Okay to make this new kind of bracelet you need to choose four colors and make the string about a foot long for each one." I nodded my head and chose pink, orange, yellow, and purple. I guessed on how long the string should be but I think I was pretty close. Miranda chose purple, blue, green, and pink. She lead me through a maze of difficult steps to loop and twist the strings into a bracelet. Once we were all finished they felt much stronger than our last ones. We tied them onto each others wrists and they fit perfectly.
Chapter 2
I looked down at my new purple, blue, green, and pink bracelet. It was much better than the last ones we made. Me and Jenna were talking about our plans for the summer when suddenly I heard Jake scream. We jumped up and ran down the hall to Jake's room. He was standing next to the small bowl that held a tiny dead goldfish.
Jenna sighed and said "Oh, Jake I'm sorry. Is that the one you won at the fair?" Jake nodded his head and swallowed back tears. "Come on, lets go get mom and dad." she said. Jake followed after her. I could hear them talking to their parents downstairs.
I looked down at the dead goldfish floating on his back. All of a sudden a strong but sweet noise began to come out of my mouth. I tried to stop it but it was much more powerful than me. It was like I was singing but it couldn't possibly compare with even the sweetest instrument. Whatever it was, it was definitely not human.
It was like I couldn't control it. It was magical, scary, and beautiful all at the same time. I haven't been a mermaid for very long, but nothing like this has ever happened.
I was hoping that they couldn't hear me from downstairs. Slowly the life returned to the small orange fish. It continued to swim around in the small bowl as though nothing was wrong. I wasn't even really sure what had happened. I have never done anything like that before!
I could hear footsteps coming up the stairs. I quickly stepped away from the bowl and tried to hide the shock I was feeling. Jenna, Jake, and their parents walked into the room. Jake was in tears and Jenna was trying to comfort him.
Jenna looked up at the bowl and gasped. She shook her head "I could have sworn it was dead" she said in awe. Jake looked up and then saw the fish. His face lit up "He must have just been sleeping!" he said. I bit my lip but didn't say anything. Jenna's parents looked at each other in confusion and then walked back downstairs.
Jenna looked at me and asked "What happened?" I shrugged my shoulders and said "I don't know, one minute he was just laying there and the next he was swimming around like nothing happened." which wasn't a total lie, it just wasn't the whole truth.
After that we got our sleeping bags ready and camped out in Jenna's room. We laughed and told ghost stories that weren't even scary and we watched at least three movies. We ended up going to bed at around ten o'clock.
The next morning we woke up to the sweet smell of pancakes. We slowly got up and got dressed and then went downstairs. "Well good morning sleepy heads!" Jenna's dad said. We laughed as we grabbed some plates out of the cabinet. We walked over to the stove and her mom put three pancakes each on our plates. "Did you sleep good?" she asked. "Mmm hmmm" we answered with our mouths full of pancakes.
"Where is Jake?" I asked. "He is at soccer practice." Jenna's mom responded. "Already? What time is it?" I said as I looked up at the clock on the kitchen wall. "Woah! We slept in till ten o'clock." I said. As we finished our pancakes Jenna's mom told us that my parents called and they are back home. Jenna offered to walk with me back to my house so we finished our pancakes and left.
"I am so glad you got to spend the night at my house!" Jenna said. "Thank you for letting me," I said. I waved goodbye to Jenna and watched her walk down the street a little ways before I went up to my house. I could see my parents car in the drive way. They must be back from that scientist meeting up north in San Fransisco. I sighed and walked up the steps that led to our house.
As usual, the door was open. I walked inside and could hear them typing in the room we called the "lab" even though it was just a spare bedroom filled with their scientist junk. They specificly studied marine life, meaning tiny specks in the water no one cares about, which was why we moved to the coast about two years ago. I swear they would just about die if they knew my secret!
I walked into the lab and saw my mom looking through a microscope muttering scientist talk to my dad as he quickly typed up everything she said. "Hi mom, hi dad, I'm home." I said. My mom replied "Mmmm, that's nice honey." I sighed and walked into our kitchen. It was a mess like the rest of the house, as usual.
My parents always seemed convinced that they were on the edge of some huge scientific breakthrough, which apparently meant they had no time for anything else, including me.
I opened the fridge and pulled out some orange juice. I poured myself a cup and then I ran down the hall to my bathroom and locked the door. I turned on the hot water in the tub and got some bath salts out from the cabinet under the sink. I poured them into the hot water and then climbed in.
"Ahhh." I said as I eased into the tub. I watched my legs as they transformed into my beautiful shining tail. Even after two years of knowing I was a mermaid, I was still in awe.
Chapter 3
Miranda called the next day and suggested we go for a swim in the ocean, which was about a five minute walk from my house. "Just be careful." my mom said as I went up stairs to change. Once I was all changed I went downstairs and found Miranda waiting in my kitchen. "How did you get in?" I asked. "Your brother let me in. Are you ready?" I nodded my head and we headed out the front door.
Miranda had a worried look on her face as we were towards the small beach that hardly ever had anyone on it. "Are you okay?" I asked her. She sighed and said "Jenna can you keep a secret?" "Of course! You know you can tell me anything." She bit her lip and said "I know but I have a really big secret that you absolutley positevly can't tell anyone." I looked at her with a confused expression on my face and nodded my head "Yeah, what is it?" She sighed again and said "Come on, I'll show you at the beach" I followed after her in confusion.
We walked down the steep path along the cliff that lead to the beach. The sun beat down hard on our backs and I couldn't wait to get in the cool water. It was a perfect day for swimming. We tripped on the loose rocks several times on the way down and had to grab onto the cliff wall to keep from falling. When we finally reached the bottom we were completly out of breath.
The small sandy cove was completly empty, as usual. We threw our towels down on some rocks far from the water so the wouldn't get wet.
We walked down to the water and Miranda took a running start and dove in splashing me with water. I laughed and splashed her back but she didn't even smile. She still seemed tense and nervous. I walked towards her in the shallow water and asked "So what is it you wanted to show me?" She bit her lip and looked down I followed her glance and then I fainted.
When I woke up I saw Miranda hovering over me. The hot sand burnt my back as I laid in the sun. I blinked and looked around. "What happened?" I asked, hoping that what I saw was a dream.
Miranda just shook shook her head and muttered "I knew I should have kept it a secret, I knew it was a bad idea idea to tell anybody....." I asked her "Did I actually see... are you actually a ....." She interrupted me and "Go on say it. A fish... a mermaid....a freak of nature.... whatever you want to call it, it's true."
I gasped and looked down at her tail. It was beautiful. It looked like the inside of a seashell, glimmering white but it shone pink it the sun. "Do your parents know?" I asked. Suddenly Miranda burst into tears.
"No, of course not! I couldn't possibly tell my parents. They are scientists! They would study me and lock me up in a zoo like an animal!" I shook my head and asked "Wait, have you always been this way? Wouldn't your parents know? Why didn't you tell me before now! And how do you do swim team if you turn into a mermaid when you touch water! Is that why you swim so fast?"
She laughed, wiped away her tears, and said "Woah! Slow down! Okay, first of all I don't think I have always been this way, or if I have the tail part didn't kick in until I was ten years old. By then I knew that I should probaly keep something this big a secret. I haven't told you until now because, well we have only known each other for a little over a year but I know you enough now that I trust you to keep this big of a secret. As for the swim team thing, I don't know if me being a mermaid has anything to do with how fast I am, but I wouldn't think so because the tail is what makes me swim fast. And finaly, I only turn into a mermaid when I am touching salt water, so I can do swim team."
I nodded my head as I took in all this new information. "Do you that since you turned into a mermaid two years ago, the same time you moved to the coast, that moving near the ocean had anything to do with you turning into a mermaid?" Miranda replied "I think so, that makes sense because I turned into a mermaid just a week or two after we moved here."
"Okay, I have one more question, well actually I have about a billion more questions but I will only ask you this one right now. So, do you have gills like a fish or can you just hold your breath for a really long time? Oh! And can you see underwater?"
She laughed and said "Hey! That is two questions! Well anyways I can hold my breath for a really long time like a dolphin, and yes, I can see underwater." I smiled and said "Wow! This is so neat! I absolutley one hundred percent, no, one thousand percent promise not to tell anyone." She said "I trust you, and I am so glad I finally have someone who knows my secret." I gave her a huge hug and then asked "So, do you want to go for a swim?" She eagerly nodded her head. By then her tail had dried off so I grabbed my goggles and we ran down to the water and jumped in.
The cold water surprised me and felt like ice after sitting in the warm sun for so long. We both dove in at the same time and laughed as we splashed around in the water. "Follow me, I want to show you something." Miranda said. She grabbed my hand and we dove beneath the waves.
We were swimming for what seemed like hours. She showed me all around through the kelp forests just off the shore that I never even knew were there! I held her hand the whole time and we came up to breath a lot, even though I knew she could hold her breath much longer than me. We saw huge eels and all kinds of fish.
We even ran into a pod of dolphins! There was baby dolphins that were jumping up out of the water. Their sleek and smooth gray skin looked beatiful as they swam just beneath the surface. I was slightly afraid at first, but Miranda told me not to be. We watched from a distance, but it was still the closest to dolphins than I have ever been outside of an aqaurium.
We finally swam back to the shore after that magical day. I helped Miranda dry off and watched in awe as her long powerful tail transformed back into her legs. I was speechless. I looked up at the sky and gasped. "Miranda, how long were we swimming! It must be at least five o'clock!" I exclaimed. She laughed and said "Time flys when your having fun! Come on, let's head home." I nodded my head and followed after her, still in shock from the days events.
As we approached her house she smiled and gave me a hug "I am so happy I don't have this huge secret bundled up inside me anymore." she said. I returned her hug and said "I'll see you tomorrow, okay?" She nodded her head and waved goodbye.
I continued down the street until I arrived at my house. My mom came running outside followed by my dad and then my brother. She ran over and engulfed me in a hug. "I was so worried about you! Are you okay? Where is Miranda?" she asked. I responded "I am fine mom! Miranda is at her house. We just lost track of time but everything is okay." I felt guilty lying but I couldn't possibly tell her the truth. We all walked back inside and then sat down to dinner, which must have been sitting on the table for a while because it was cold.
Chapter 4
The next week week passed rather slowly and soon it was Saturday again which meant another swim meet. I woke up around five o'clock in the morning so I could get ready. I changed into my swimsuit, braided my hair, got my swim bag ready with my towel and goggles in it, and then I went downstairs to kitchen to grab some snacks and bottle of water.
I heard a car honk and then ran outside. Jenna and her mom were here to pick me up. I climbed into their car and said "Hi Jenna! Where is Jake, is he coming to the swim meet today?"
"No, he is at home with my dad because he is sick. Of course he might be just pretending, he hates coming to our swim meets" I laughed and asked "Are you nervous?" "Not really, should I be?" I responded "Well, our team has never been to this pool before or raced against this team." She shrugged her shoulders and said "Oh well, if you have raced against one team you have raced them all." I smiled and then opened up my book that I was reading.
The weather looks nice and I am swimming my favorite events, breaststroke and butterfly, so it should be a pretty good day. We got out of the car and then headed to the pool to warm up. We were late though and our team was already finished so we went up and sat with Jenna's mom in the bleachers until our first race.
Me and Jenna were both swimming breaststroke first. When we heard our event called over the loudspeaker we pulled out our swim caps and headed towards the diving blocks. Jenna was in the race right before me because she wasn't quite as fast and it was done by times. I watched her swim and then climbed up onto the diving block.
Someone splashed me as they were getting out of the water. I suddenly heard Jenna yell from across the pool "MIRANDA!" in a panicked voice. I got that tickly feeling in my legs and then I knew why. I jumped off the diving block and ran to the locker room while everyone looked at me in confusion.
Chapter 5
I raced towards the finish just ahead of another girl on a different team. I was almost there! Just a little further I thought when I accidently got a mouth full of water as I came up to get a breath. I spit it out and thought how yucky the salt water tasted and how much I hate salt water pools. I kept on going though, I wasn't going to let that slow me down. Then it hit me, salt water!
I hurried even faster to the finish so I could warn Miranda. I jumped out of the pool and shouted "MIRANDA!" as loud as I could. She turned her head as someone splashed her and then she realized it. She sprinted as fast as she could to the locker room and I followed after her.
I hurried into the locker room and saw her sprawled out on the floor with her tail. Luckily the room was empty but anyone could walk in at any time. I shut the door and locked it by jamming a chair under the handle. Then I turned my atention to Miranda. I grabbed a towel and started to dry off her tail. She just sat there in shock.
It took a while but eventually her legs were back. "What should we tell everyone?" she asked me. "We can say you are alergic to salt water, which is really kind of true!" I said with a laugh. She just nodded her head but didn't even smile. I helped her up and then we went outside.
Erica from our team came running over and asked "What happened? Are you guys okay?" I nodded my head and said "Yeah we are okay, Miranda is just really allergic to salt water so I was trying to warn her. It is terrible, she breaks out in hives, swells up to the size of a whale, she can't talk, she has to be hospitilized, her eyes swell shut, and " when Miranda elbowed and said "I'm fine, tell coach to continue the race without me." Erica skepticly nodded her head and then ran off.
Miranda sighed and said "I guess I will go sit up in the bleachers with your mom, you can go ahead and swim your last race." I shook my head and said "No it's okay we can go ahead and go home, my mom probably wants to check on Jake anyways." She smiled and said "Thanks, are you sure?" I nodded my head and smiled and then we walked towards the bleachers.
My mom met us at the bottom of the bleachers and in a concerned voice asked "Miranda, are you okay?" Miranda nodded her head and I told my mom the fake story of Miranda being alergic to salt water. My mom said "Hmmm, well okay I guess if you girls want to leave early that is okay with me." so we walked to the car and drove all the way back.
Miranda was nervous and didn't talk the whole time. We dropped her off at her house and then headed towards our house. "That was strange. I never knew Miranda was allergic to salt water, and didn't you girls just go swimming in the ocean the other day?"
I bit my lip and tried to think of a cover story "Oh, well you see Miranda just found out that .. um.. she is allergic to salt water that day, you see..... so.... she wasn't always allergic so..um.. kind of.. yeah." "Hmm," My mom said, looking skeptical but fortuanatley she didn't ask more.
Chapter 6
I was still in shock from what happened at the swim meet earlier that day. My parents were in the lab and didn't pay much attention me as I came in the front door. I walked down the hall to my room to read my book. I tried to turn on the lamp by my bed but the light bulb was dead. It was too dim in my room to read without it so I went into my parents room to find another light bulb.
I slowly pushed open the creaky door and stepped into the the dark room. I reached around to find the light switch. Once the light was on I realized that their room was a mess. Not much of a surprise. There was clothes all over the floor, the sheets on the bed were missing, candy wrappers and water bottles covered the floor. It looked more like a pig pen than a bedroom.
I opened up drawers and looked on the shelves in the closet. No luck. I thought maybe there might be some lightbulbs in the boxes that we never opened from when we moved here.
I pulled one down from the top shelf and opened it up. Inside I found my kindergarten graduation diploma, old arts and crafts I had made, awards from third grade, swim meet medals, my fourth grade report on ants, and other stuff like that. Soon I forgot about the light bulb and was enjoying myself looking through old memories.
When I reached the bottom of the box I saw something that surprised me, adoption papers. I thought about for a minute and wondered who in my family was adopted. My uncle Mike, one of my cousins, my grandma, or maybe aunt Suzan?
Then I took a closer look at it and realized that it was my name on the papers. I gasped as I realized that I was adopted. It must be a mistake, there is no way that I am adopted. Sure, I don't have anything in common with my parents and we don't look anything alike but I never even considered that I might be adopted. Why have my parents never told me?
I quickly put the papers away and then piled the rest of the stuff on top off them. I put the box back up high on the shelf and then ran to the lab.
I pushed open the doors to the lab in shock and said "Mom, Dad, I was looking through those boxes up stairs in the closet and I found.." before I could finish my mom said "Honey I am really busy right now, could you maybe come back later?" I swallowed and said "No, mom this is important I need to talk to you now."
My mom sighed and turned around "Okay, you have my full attention." she said in a slightly sarcastic and somewhat annoyed voice. "I found some adoption papers with my name on them." My mom looked up shocked and my dad suddenly turned around.
"Oh dear, honey we were going to tell you ... just .....never seemed like the right time." My dad said. "It never seemed like the right time! I can't believe you guys! I am twelve years old!" My mom sighed and said "We are sorry honey, we didn't mean for you to find out this way." I snickered and shouted "Why do you even care! You never pay attention to me anyways!"
I felt angry, hurt, and lied to. I ran out of the lab and behind me I could hear my mom calling me to come back. I kept running out the front door and down the street. I ran past the grocery store and past the gas station and soon I was in a neighborhood I had never been to before.
I continued to run and soon I found that I had made a loop. Instead of going back to my house I walked down to Jenna's house and knocked on their door. Jake answered and said "Hi Miranda! Jenna is up in her room if you want to see her. Why are you crying? Are you okay?" I nodded my head and then ran inside and up to Jenna's room.
"Jenna, are you in there?" I asked as I knocked on her door. "Yeah, come on in." she said. I pushed her door open and found her sitting on her bed watching T.V. She turned her show off and said "What's up?" I flopped onto her bed and started crying. "Are you okay? Is this about the swim meet earlier?" she asked. I shook my head and told her the whole story.
"I was looking through some old boxes that were in my mom and dad's closet and in them I found some adoption papers with my name on them. When I tried to ask my parents about it they said that they were going to tell me that I was adopted but that it never seemed like the right time! Never ever did I think that I might possibly be adopted."
Jenna just shook her head and said "Oh, wow Miranda I am so sorry. I mean, well, it's not like anything to be ashamed of, I just , oh I'm sorry I don't what to say." She gave me a hug and I hugged her back. I picked at the blanket on her bed that was beaded from being washed so many times.
I looked up and said "It's okay, you don't have to say anything. I really just wanted someone to listen." Jenna nodded her head and said "You can talk to me anytime, I might not have anything to say but at least I will listen anytime." she smiled and gave me another hug. "I better go, I ran off and my parents might be worried." I said "Yeah okay, I'll see you later" I hurried down the stairs and down the street back to my house.
"Mom! Dad!" I shouted as I walked in the front door. My mom and dad came hurrying over to me and gave me a huge hug. "We are so sorry so Miranda we never told you sooner, it was a big mistake." they said. I just nodded my head and said "Yes, it was a big mistake."
They seemed slightly surprised by my answer but I don't know why they were expecting me to instantly forgive them. "Well, I made dinner. Your favorite Miranda, spagetti!" my mom said, trying to be cheerful. "You never make dinner, and that's not my favorite anymore." I said flatly. I know I hurt my mother's feeling by saying that, but she hurt me.
I realized that I just wasn't up to talking to either of them right then. I wanted to listen to their explanations and I had questions that were just starting to form in my mind, but when I saw them standing there I knew I wasn't ready to listen to them yet. I said, "I knew you would be worried when I ran off so I came back to say I'm ok. But I really don't want to talk to you yet. I need to go down to the beach. Please just let me go think." Then I turned around and walked right back out the door. They didn't follow me so maybe they actually understood I needed some time.
I went down to the beach and the closer I got to the water the more relaxed I started to feel. I realized that the ocean had always had an effect on me and now that effect felt even stronger. It's like the more stress I was feeling, the stronger the ocean was pulling me. I just stood right at the edge of the waves for a moment and it was almost as if I could hear the water inside my head. No, that's not quite right. It's like I could hear all the life in the sea as if it was a part of my own mind. It was amazing. It was the strangest sensation, but it felt exactly right.
With a quick burst of energy I just ran straight into the waves and at the moment that my legs transformed into my tail I felt the strongest surge of happiness that I had ever felt. I knew that this secret that I had been hiding was not just some freak thing that had happened to me, but that this was where I had truly come from.
It was suddenly clear to me that there was so much more to the depths of the ocean than I ever realized. I felt electrified as I swam faster than I had ever swam before. It is so lucky that there was no one around because I couldn't stop myself from speeding to the surface and flying into the air, like a dolphin leaping out of the water in one of those shows.
All of a sudden I felt like I was being watched. It was that nervous feeling you get when you just know someone is staring at you. But by this time I was really far out in the water and there weren't any boats or anything nearby so there couldn't be anyone watching me. I went under the water and swam slowly back toward shore and the sensation was even stronger. I started to swim in circles, glancing behind me and looking behind rocks. I was sure someone was following me, but that had to be ridiculous.
Closer to shore the kelp was pretty thick, like a forest. I swam through it cautiously and caught a glimpse of red just at the edge of the thick seaweed. I tried to move quickly, but whatever it was darted away. It seemed big, but I wasn't afraid. I was just really curious, because even though it swam off I still felt sure I was being followed. I kept looking for the flash of red, but didn't see anything else.
I guess after burning off that energy I was ready to go back home and hear what my parents had to say. I didn't think I would get the whole truth from them. Maybe they didn't even know the whole truth since I am sure they couldn't possibly know my secret. But I was pretty sure I knew more about myself now than I ever had.
Chapter 7
My mom knocked lightly on my door and peeked her head in.
"Is everything all right Jenna? Jake said Miranda seemed upset."
"He should mind his own business!"
"Sweetie, don't be mad at him. He really likes Miranda. I think he was just worried, and I am too. Especially after what happened at the swim meet. I think there is something going on and maybe you don't think you can talk to me about it, but I want you to know that you can, ok?"
I calmed down and smiled a little at my mom. She really could be good to talk to sometimes. Of course she would never believe the REAL secret! But I knew she could understand about Miranda's hurt feelings. "You're right Mom. There is something going on with Miranda. She found out that she was adopted and her parents have been keeping it from her all this time. She was really upset when she found out and I don't think she can really talk to her parents right now about it."
"Oh honey! Poor Miranda. She must feel really alone right now. I am so glad she has you to come to. I am really surprised that her parents would keep this from her. They seem like such...logical people. They must have known she would find out eventually."
"They really never talk at her house, Mom. I think Miranda feels like they don't even notice her most of the time. They're always really busy with work."
"I never understood what it is that they do exactly. Whenever I have talked to Miranda's mother she seems very distracted. I remember the time we had them over for dinner and her father was talking about such technical scientific things I couldn't understand his explanations at all!"
"Well Miranda doesn't understand it much either, but right now I think she just wishes they would forget about it and talk to her."
"I hope they do sweetheart. You make sure that Miranda knows she is always welcome here and if she wants to talk to me I am here for her, ok?"
"Thanks, Mom. But I think this is really personal right now and I feel like I kind of told you a secret, so please don't say anything to Miranda ok?"
"I won't, but remember sometimes you have to talk to someone if a friend needs help."
"I know."
I was glad I could talk to my mom. I knew I was still keeping the biggest secret, but maybe this would keep Mom from being suspicious if Miranda acted a little strange. I had to call her and see if everything was ok. But when I tried she didn't answer so I sent her a text to call me as soon as she could.
Chapter 8
I walked in to the living room and was shocked to see both of my parents sitting there waiting for me. They were usually at their computers or had their noses in some science book. I couldn't remember the last time they were both not working. My dad spoke up first.
"Sit down Miranda. I know it's time we talked about this. I guess your mother and I have been too preoccupied lately and we just didn't realize how much you have grown up all of a sudden. We should have told you about this much sooner. I'm really sorry."
I didn't really know what to say, so I just sat down on the couch and waited.
"Miranda it felt like such a wonderful miracle when we found you..."
"Found me? What do you mean? I was just "left" somewhere?!"
"No, that's not what I meant. Well, I mean yes, someone...oh this isn't coming out right!"
Then my dad took over. I could tell he was trying to make everything sound "logical" and "rational" like always. I was just feeling everything bubble up inside me again. I wanted to scream and ask them where I came from. But I knew I had to be careful because if I started blurting out all the questions flying through my mind I would probably give too much away. And I was starting to think that even though they had kept this secret from me, my secret was much more powerful, and maybe dangerous.
"Miranda, your mother and I were working at a special research center up north on the coast. It was part of a university and it may have looked like a hospital. That's probably why your birth mother thought it would be a safe place to leave you. I'm sure she felt that you would be found by doctors who could take care of you."
My mother seemed to have calmed down. "We found you as we were leaving the lab one evening. You were all wrapped up in a towel and you were the most beautiful little thing I had ever seen. But..."
"What?" It looked like my mom was getting tears in her eyes. I don't think I had ever seen her get emotional over anything. She was always just as logical and reasonable as Dad.
"Well, you had the most horrible sounding rattle in your chest when you breathed. It sounded like something was very wrong and you weren't getting enough air. We just grabbed you up and rushed you to the hospital."
"The doctors there said your lungs were completely filled with salt water. They really couldn't explain it, but as soon as they got your lungs cleared you were perfectly fine."
"Well by the time they said you were going to be ok I was already completely convinced that you were meant to be our daughter. The Social Services department came and took you into foster care, I was devasted that we couldn't take you home right then. But I started the paperwork that day so that we could be your foster parents."
"Your mother worked non-stop to get you moved to our house. It took her three weeks to get us declared your official foster parents and after one year we were able to legally adopt you."
I just sat there in silence for several minutes. My mind was racing over what they had just told me. Finally I said, "So you have no idea who my parents are? Or where I came from? I just showed up at your lab?"
"That's right. We tried to find out, we even hired a private investigator. Mostly because I was worried that someone would show up and try to take you back. But they never found anything at all. It's like your mother just vanished. I'm sorry Miranda, I know you will want to know more about where you came from but we just don't have any answers."
She sounded very reasonable, of course, my parents were masters at that. But there was something in her eyes that I saw just at the last second. I was sure she was still keeping something from me. I know they weren't telling me the whole truth! Or maybe it was just my own secret making me feel that way. I was so confused.
"Thank you for telling me about this, but you guys really shouldn't have kept it from me this long. I feel pretty tired, I'll be up in my room." I said. "Don't you want anything to eat?" my mom asked. "I'm not hungry." I called back over my shoulder as I walked to my room.
When I walked into my room I heard my cellphone beeping and saw that Jenna had called and then left a text "call me asap, need 2 talk 2 u" I sighed and turned my phone off. I didn't feel like talking to anyone right now. I plopped down on my bed and fell asleep, not even bothering to take off my shoes. I was exausted from all the swimming I did ealier.
The next day I woke up before sunrise. I hurried out of bed and stumbled through the darkness to find the light. I pulled on my swimsuit and grabbed a towel. I was going to the beach again. The effect the water had on me yesterday felt amazing and I feel like I need that reasurrance of the sea in my mind again.
I crept down the hallway, careful to be quiet so I wouldn't wake my parents. The house was completly quiet except for the sound of my bare feet on the tile floor. On my way out I hurried to scribble down a note for my parents and left it on the counter. I slipped on my flip flops and hurried out the door.
It seemed as though the entire world was asleep as I walked through my neighborhood. The only other living beings I saw were birds. Good. I didn't want to waste time by having to stop and talk to anyone, and I definetly didn't want to have to try to explain why I was going swimming so early.
As I neared the beach I could the amazing sensation of the waves in my head, tugging me towards the water. I smiled and waited for a moment, listening to the sea move in my head. I breathed out a sigh of relief. I felt like I was home.
I dropped my towel and my kicked off my flip flops. With a running start I dove into the ocean and then just sat there for a minute longer in the waves, listening.
I looked up at sky. It was a purpelish blue color, turning more blue than purple by the second. The sky was decorated with clouds that were bright cotton candy pink. The sun was just peeking out from behind some clouds, not even a quarter of the way up yet.
I sank beneath the waves and then slowly swam off into deeper water, enjoying myself at a slow, calm pace. Even the water was a slight pink color, beautifully illuminated by the rising sun. After about twenty minutes of swimming I decided that I should probably head back before my parents were worried.
I was swimming back, gracefully gliding through the forests of kelp when I saw a streak of red slice through the water. I gasped and headed towards where I saw it. When I swam up to where I was, it was gone. There! Just around this kelp. Gone. I sighed. Oh, there it is again, just up ahead! I raced through the water, dodging out of the way of the kelp. Or, when it was quicker simply shoving the kelp out of my way.
I would see the flash of red for a moment, and then it would suddenly disapear. I continued this game of chase for about thirty minutes. When I was to tired to continue I decided I should give up and head back to the shore. It is probaly just a fish, or maybe just my imagination playing tricks on me.
I swam up to the surface and then out of the corner of my eye I saw it leap out of the water. I quickly turned around and saw it just before it hit the water again. It was the biggest fish I had ever seen! No wait, not a fish. Fish don't have long blond hair.

So, thats what I have so far. I was thinking that the other mermaid Miranda saw could be some sort message bringer that tells her it against the laws of the merfolk to tell any human that they are a mermaid. The human who knows the secret either has to be killed or turned into a mermaid by proving that they are worthy of being a mermaid by swimming really deep or something that is almost impossible for any human to do. I am hoping to make it a series but I am going to finish this book first and see if I can even get it published.


12-28-2011, 11:58 PM
Very good, I would like to read more.

You might not want to switch first person narrator. It's kind of confusing, at least at first.


12-29-2011, 01:00 AM
some editing done and first person narration like alveric said, and i would read it. if you can, take this with you everywhere and show it to a publishing office or any writers/editors/and english teachers you can find to read it. i wish you the best of luck!

12-29-2011, 02:33 AM
Thank you so much for taking the time to read it and giving me advice, it really means a lot to me!

12-29-2011, 01:11 PM
I agree with what was said above, but also a word of caution: Before releasing any work publicly like this, you should make sure you are copyrighted. If not officially, then do the cheap version: Mail a manuscript to yourself in a sealed envelope. Anyone can easily be browsing the forums, take what you have written as you write more, edit it themselves (much easier than coming up with an original story), and submit it and get published themselves. However, if you ever ran into an identiacal story, you could then take it to court, and the postmark date would show the date you had the story (clearly earlier than what was published), and then since your envelope is sealed, you can then open in it court and people would see that it is your story so you could recover any past and future royalties.

Hopefully you'd never encounter this, but unfortunately in the world we live in, its a precaution one must take for their creative works. Just advice.

12-29-2011, 06:57 PM
Thank you Sirenia! I never even thought about that. I do hope I never encounter this but I guess I should be ready if I do.

Mermaid Jewel
12-29-2011, 09:24 PM
It's very interesting! I'd love to read more too :) Good luck!

12-29-2011, 11:26 PM
Since all that's put on forums like this one is dated, it has the same effect as mailing it to yourself, so no danger. The more forums like this or places like Deviant Art you put your writing, the safer it is, unlike some other forms of art. You want to expose your writing to as many eyes as possible anyway. Do your composition and editing on a word processor or a wiki, like shifty.org, then expose it on a small friendly venue like Mernetwork for feedback. After that, put it on Deviant Art or fictionpress. If the feed back is still more positive than negative, look for a publisher. Good luck!


01-02-2012, 05:13 AM
Thank you for the feedback, I will try to work on it sometime this week and hopefully post the next chapter soon. :D