View Full Version : Community Drama!
AniaR
09-29-2015, 10:14 PM
SO, let's talk drama. It's a thing. In the mermaid world. I get into it a lot. haha let's take a look at that for a second... I think it's good for the community to dialog about this stuff. ;)
So I struggle with drama and I admit it! For me I have certain triggers, like anyone else. It's usually when I feel there is some sort of injustice happening, when I feel someone is being scammed, or like many of you when I see through something and I figure others can't see it.
Having been around in the mermaid community for so long I know and have seen so much. I know so many things about things. I find it really hard to stay quiet when I see misinformation, or straight out lies. I struggle with knowing when should I say something, when should I mind my own business ?
I know others have trouble with this too. Your gut reaction when you see someone venting about a situation is to give them support; it isn't always to see what the other side might be. Yup, totally guilty of that one too!
We also tailor things to a specific audience and then don't realize what it comes off like to the unintended audience.
I feel like with the summer winding down, a lot of us are getting a bit crazy with the drama. Some people's way of dealing with is to just be nothing but positive. I have tried SO HARD to use that approach. Time after time. But it doesn't work for me, because when I see bad things I have empathy that I can't turn away from. So I set myself up for failure when I decide, oh I'm just going to only say and do things that are seen as happy, and I'm not going to talk to anyone about drama. I am so not capable of that, lol.
I do give myself breaks, I force myself not to use FB, not to check mernetwork etc. It helps for a while. I mean, we could all use a break sometimes right?
Mermaid Linden told me something profound one day. She told me if I put the energy into my business that I put into community drama, I'd have more success. Holy sea-cow was she ever right. When I look at my 'timeline' a lot if my success happened when I put the blinders on and kept myself busy.
But... I am someone who was dealt a lot of bad in life and I feel like if I can stop someone else from being harmed, I should do what I can. So where do I find the balance?
I invite you to reflect on Linden's words to me, because I think they can help many of us. But I also want to ask: How do you choose what to get involved in and what to walk away from? How do you know what is worth fighting for, and what is worth totally ignoring? Do you only deal with it if it effects you somehow? or do you feel a responsibility to others?
There's no wrong answer here. I just want to know what people think and why they choose to handle things the way they do.
I feel like if we were all open about this kinda stuff... there would be a lot less drama. Because maybe we just don't always realize how much what we say effects others even if we don't think it's bad. Dottie can tell you ALL about me sticking my fin in my mouth THINKING I was doing the right thing , and not realizing I was alienating a friend.
OK, so Drama. Discuss!
ps.: what do you think causes drama to bubble up the most in our community, and why?
AniaR
09-29-2015, 10:14 PM
wow I so love it when my indenting and paragraphing wont work. I apologize it's not letting me edit..
Ciriun
09-29-2015, 10:45 PM
Honestly after the first time I tried to help mediate drama I am genuinely too scared to risk doing it again. I don't know the cliques, social circles, alliances, and whatnot around here, so it really is better for me to stay as far away from drama as possible. I'd rather stay silent than risk making enemies.
SeaGlass Siren
09-29-2015, 11:35 PM
I think most of us want to say things but choose not to and that always seems to build up over time until someone explodes all over the place.
Theres also not understanding the other person and the fact that we all have to interpret what's being said in front of a computer screen.(I feel like this was lentioned before?)
Well considering that the majority of our community's communications are over the internet, words get twisted (meaningfully or not) and people overanalyze. I do believe that half of everything that starts up would be nonexistent if it were in person.
Mermaid Alea
09-30-2015, 12:04 AM
To me what causes drama is the wide diversity of this community. Diversity is NOT a bad thing and I love diversity and I don't want anyone to read this and think I am against variety, but what I am saying is you are more likely to find someone on here that you hardly agree with because this community is so diverse with people who have all kinds of beliefs, personalities, word choice, experiences, etc. That and it is hard to understand people through words sometimes. Someone could make a nice comment and it could be read as being sarcastic, etc.
I replied to something I probably shouldn't have because most people didn't have the same opinion as me and there was no reason to reply to it, but yeah unfortunately I messed up and hope no one hates me for it. Sometimes you just feel like you have to reply. :saynothing:
If I am typing something and I get a feeling that maybe it doesn't sound right or something, I will just decide not to even post. It isn't even a drama thing just maybe I am getting too excited to help when I don't really have personal experience with something, or whatever. For me I just get a feeling.
Anyways I am trying to just do more reading and less posting. I try to really think about if a post is actually needed and if I can be of real help or not.
To me what causes drama is the wide diversity of this community. Diversity is NOT a bad thing and I love diversity and I don't want anyone to read this and think I am against variety, but what I am saying is you are more likely to find someone on here that you hardly agree with because this community is so diverse with people who have all kinds of beliefs, personalities, word choice, experiences, etc. That and it is hard to understand people through words sometimes. Someone could make a nice comment and it could be read as being sarcastic, etc.
People need to study this, right here.
Dancing Fish
09-30-2015, 01:16 AM
I have a list of topics I simply never debate. I also make it a point never to post in anger. I try to always give the other person the benefit of the doubt (which is not the same as excusing personal attacks...which I deal with by bowing out and blocking). If there are two ways to interpret something, I choose to believe the poster was not trying to be offensive. If someone calls me on something, I try to give it a good think before I get defensive and post some blustery nonsense. If I find myself getting defensive I try to remember what I'm reading is not a personal attack.
Following all those boring rules keeps me out of online drama for the most part. That said, it also keeps me from posting much of anything. (And often leads to me venting offline after sitting on my hands and cursing at the screen, LOL.) So I appreciate the other folks who keep the discussions going! My highly regulated online persona lacks spontaneity. But then, that's my personality type too around people I don't know all that well. :) I rather think a little drama now and then is the sign of a heathy and diverse community full of people who are comfortable enough to get feisty with each other. Clearly we all enjoy a good drama though...those threads are popular for a reason!
(Heh...case in point...wasn't going to post for fear of coming off as sanctimonious or lecturing or something. There's that filter again!)
AniaR
09-30-2015, 01:39 AM
Dancing fish, great ideas. I've actually started making rules and lists myself to help self regulate.
Which is what alea is doing! I too will type something up and then delete it. Sometimes I find the act of just typing it makes me feel better even though I don't post it.
Kalani you're right, plus we have language barriers on here too, and Tapatalk messes up sometimes.
Seaglass this is so true. Especially for me. It is why I find the stay quiet method doesn't work for me cuz sooner or later I blow!
Ciriun it is sad we've reached a point people can be like that. I will say 90% of the time I get into drama I try not to judge the people also involved. Even if we really disagree. It is only when people hurl personal insults, especially when they have nothing to do with the issue at hand, that I decide to drop people.
Sent from my MotoG3 using Tapatalk
Mermaid Kassandra
09-30-2015, 02:38 AM
I don't know if you want to hear my opinion too but I would like to help you if I can.
I find myself a bit like you: when drama is on and I try to stay out sooner or later I'll blow.
Anyway I don't like drama or argues so I tend to stay out of them but doing that it's a really hard job!
My most useful technique is that when I read something that I don't like or that I feel it hurts me or anyone else I immediately close everything and than I start doing something that I really like and that I know will for sure calm me down (a but like what Linden said to you "put your energy in your company").
If the thought of that thing that I read really don't go away then I skip to plan B and I talk about it to my best friend and if it isn't something personal I try to get opinions also from other people then I start thinking about what to do and if I should do something and I take a decision.
Anyway if I decide to do something about the drama I try to write things trying to stay quite as in my opinion there's no reason to argue or being upset/angry in that way things become more twisted and complicated and you're not able to understand the point of view of the other people.
To answer to your question about when to get into drama my advice is always stay out as most of the times it's not our job and other people's drama could ruin our day without even being something about us (I mean that in this way a happy day stays happy till the end of the day 😊).
Said that indeed there are some situations I can't really stand so that I decide to take action but always trying to think first having my mind as much clear from feelings as possible and write after; it happens when I see people saying lies about others and heavy things like that that are real injustice.
If I can give you an example I have two or three Facebook contacts that almost always write really stupid things about different stuff even without first searching informations on the things the write that really really makes me want to start drama and argue, my point of view? After all they're good people I think but they're just ignorant (meaning that they ignore things about what they write because they don't inform themselves before writing something)) so I let them write their insanity and laugh about all the stupid thing they write.
I mean they're like that so I let them go if they write incorrect stuff it's their problem not mine.
I hope this can be helpful for you.
Mer-Crazy
09-30-2015, 02:57 AM
I generally stay out of drama as much as possible and usually the only time I'll interject is when I see misinformation that I feel I can correct, bring attention to or question. Most of the time though I'm just asleep or at work and by the time I get home or wake up the drama is over and there's no point bringing it back up as people have moved on so that helps. Also I just miss the FB stuff entirely because I'm not really private friends with anyone.
SeaGlass Siren
09-30-2015, 08:59 AM
I can't. I have to open my mouth and verbal vomit. It will be my downfall one day.
Sherielle
09-30-2015, 09:22 AM
I'm more likely to say something in person to person conversations than in online forums and fb. I try to sit back and read the situation fully before responding, though I have found myself in the midst of a couple of times of drama. I know that most people here don't know me so I don't think my opinion is valued as much, but there are times when I really feel like I need to have a say. That's when I jump in.
I know that most people here don't know me so I don't think my opinion is valued as much, but there are times when I really feel like I need to have a say.
So here's where the community gets things wrong (the rest of society does this, its more human nature than anything). Just because someone is a 'higher up' does not mean that their say is more important than mers who are not well known. I'm sure that you can find an exception or two like a member of the community for 10+ years debating a community topic with a mer who just entered the group, but for the most part, our community should not work like this. Funny thing is, that is exactly what happens, and I see it often.
Seraphina Suds
09-30-2015, 10:40 AM
I try and stay out of drama in general on here. It's exhausting just to read, let alone be involved with. I have my few close podmates that I will vent to and vice versa when something comes up, but that's it. If I don't personally know the people involved in the issue, then I don't feel like I have a right to give my opinion. But I have soooo many opinions haha. I will only speak up if my pod or I feel threatened or wronged (like with that mermaid school).
Wherever something explodes in the community, I think back on what Theta said ages ago:
"My favorite is the lets just be friends posts on drama threads. Or the I am so disappointed that the mermaid community isnt full of rainbows and kumbayah shit. I want to shake those people and say, You DO realize that you are portraying the bitchiest, most temperamental group of supernatural creatures <i>ever</i>, right? You know they kill people for funsies? Really let that sink in for a second, and then complain about why this forum isnt all bubble kisses and moonlight farts!"
Drama is going to happen in any group. There are people who live for it. And there are people who have been around so long that they've seen it all and most likely will have that personal connection to just about every situation. I think there's a difference between drama where you're standing up for yourself or your beliefs and just plain baiting to get attention and start public fights. It's important to recognize the situation and react appropriately.
Sent from my C6725 using Tapatalk
SeaGlass Siren
09-30-2015, 12:50 PM
KUMBAYA muthafakas, KUMBAYA !
Aisling
09-30-2015, 01:43 PM
KUMBAYA muthafakas, KUMBAYA !
http://www.cbc.ca/dragonsden/content/images/s8e9/kevin_kumbaya.gif
I don't really have much to add to this conversation because I avoid drama via being too scared to talk to people on forums.
But this made me think of the gif.
PearlieMae
09-30-2015, 02:09 PM
Hahahaha!
Okay, I've been known to be a presence in some dramas, but it's only because I don't suffer fools lightly. I WILL put my fin down where warranted.
I think a lot is lost without inflection (sarcasm, anyone?), and sometimes idiocy just needs to be called out. It's hard to be polite all the time and sometimes we hit POST instead of CANCEL and let it ride.
Lately, though, some shit just exhausts me and I gotta swim on past. For instance, I get the sense that the Mertailor Repair thread is just DYING for some drama to start when it doesn't need to happen. M & E have a history. E has a rep. M is offering a service. E has a knee jerk reaction. Pretty much end of story. But everybody has to poke the beached jellyfish a little, I guess.
http://replygif.net/i/1081.gif
shimmygoddess
09-30-2015, 02:35 PM
I hate drama! But I will stick up for myself when someone is lying, talking bad about me, or being downright unethical. In that case, no matter how much you try to distance yourself, if someone is purposely trying to destroy you, you cannot back down. There are some sharks out there that don't care about you and your success and sure we can distance ourself and change our energy of focus and that is totally true. But there will be times when you have to stand up for what is right and call people out. and if they are just assholes, then they deserve to be called out!
AniaR
09-30-2015, 04:56 PM
Sheri, kalani... I feel like I can't have opinions, because people act like mine mean so much. So when I express them I feel they have too much weight!
I regret nothing on the repair thread lol because the boomerang comment was pure gold
Sent from my MotoG3 using Tapatalk
Vrindavana Starfish
09-30-2015, 05:07 PM
I really try to avoid drama. I've had way too much of it in my life, and I found that I stopped attracting it when I stopped jumping into it. I feel like I'm kind of on the fringe of the community here to begin with, and that's kind of the truth in the rest of my life. I don't like cliques, and tend to gravitate toward individuals over groups, even within larger groups. Even if it's an area where I do feel more involved, I try to approach all drama with compassion, trying to understand why someone might be acting like a jerk, and then deciding if it's worth my time to try to work something out, or just leave that person behind. Looking at a situation with compassion means I'm not taking any bullshit personally, even if it was meant that way. It doesn't excuse the other person's actions, only how I react to it. If I believe they're being a nasty shit because that's how they've been treated, then I feel pity for them, not a need to attack them.
Most times, it's not worth my time or energy to engage, but on the occasion that it is, I will. This usually occurs when I see someone being ganged up on, or if someone is being ignorant or cruel, or is spreading misinformation. If someone is just an a-hole and is pretty open and transparent about it, then I appreciate their honesty and I don't have to talk to them if I don't want.
Basically, if it's drama for drama's sake, I'm bored out of my mind and have no interest engaging. If it's drama due to people opening up to new ideas and becoming less ignorant about the beliefs or feelings of others, then it has a purpose. I am peaceful, but I am not a pacifist.
Also, if I've mistakenly started drama by being careless about my words, or just unclear, then I just apologize right away. Even if I didn't mean to offend, if I hurt someone, I sincerely apologize.
Sheri, kalani... I feel like I can't have opinions, because people act like mine mean so much. So when I express them I feel they have too much weight!
And that's really humble of you to say that. I've seen you try hard to keep everyone on the same level during arguments, but again I believe this is just human nature. The sheep follow, you know?
Aysun_the_Mermaid
09-30-2015, 06:06 PM
Sometimes it feels like some of the drama comes from differing opinions (obviously) and that when person B expresses their opinion, person A feels attacked. Even though it was not an attack and simply a discussion.
In real life, I try to tell my friends that just because I have a different opinion that you, it does not necessarily mean I think you are wrong. I just feel differently about it that you. [Ex. "I personally do not like that "x", but I am glad that you do."]
Or, even if I do think you are wrong, it does not mean I think you are stupid.
(Because I do know that opinions are not exempt from being wrong. Just because you hold the opinion that red and blue are practically the same color does not make that accurate. [Unless you are color blind and that is a whole different can of worms] )
I stay out of the internet drama on here because it does make me very angry at times, and I have to step back so that I do not make myself unhappy or stress myself out.
I don't know these people in real life.
None of this effects me in any way, no matter how the drama plays out.
So I choose to stay silent unless it involves me directly, which, as a fairly quiet member, it does not.
Or, in cases where I may have insider information, it is usually not my place to repeat it, so I leave it to the people involved if they choose to divulge it.
Sent from my SAMSUNG-SM-G900A using Tapatalk
Ciriun
09-30-2015, 07:36 PM
If I am typing something and I get a feeling that maybe it doesn't sound right or something, I will just decide not to even post. It isn't even a drama thing just maybe I am getting too excited to help when I don't really have personal experience with something, or whatever. For me I just get a feeling.
This, at least sort of. I will write a post, edit it half a dozen times, then chicken out of posting it. I love this community and really, really want to be a part of it, but at the same time I don't want to say anything that could upset people or be taken the wrong way. Random example: I do not let myself gush nearly as much as I'd like to over other people's tails because I don't want them to think I'm some sort of tail obsessed stalker creep.
Mermaid Jaffa
09-30-2015, 08:38 PM
I don't get involved as I don't know anything or anyone. I don't have personal friends here, all internet ones, so I don't know squat how people react and such, so I don't mess around in those threads, except if I'm asking a question pertaining to the item only.
Echidna
09-30-2015, 09:23 PM
I don't care for drama, but it's difficult to keep my mouth shut when I see something that I feel is unjust.
I hate double standards. And bullshitting.
Also I've been told I'm pretty straightforward, which might be too cross for some?
Sometimes it feels like some of the drama comes from differing opinions (obviously) and that when person B expresses their opinion, person A feels attacked. Even though it was not an attack and simply a discussion.
and this.^^
If I feel someone will interpret anything as an attack, no matter how it's worded, just to spin an endless drama out of it, I back off.
Don't have the time for that, and bores me to no end.
I'm happy with the community all the same.
Madison MerFaerie
09-30-2015, 10:32 PM
I regret nothing on the repair thread lol because the boomerang comment was pure gold
I'm glad a few peeps got a kick out of that. :p
When I first started mermaiding I was one of the "Why can't we all just be friends" mers that folks find annoying. I FINALLY found a group of like-minded individuals that I had no idea existed, and I was overly idealistic thinking that everyone had that "omg new hobby new friends new life mermaid BFFS forever" energy that I did. We're human, we argue, and that's ok. It took me some time to get that. Be patient with the new overly idealistic ones, their little hearts will blacken and crumble soon enough. Muahahaha
As for drama, I try to stay out. I tend not to take sides because there is almost always some stuff that happens behind closed doors that no one knows about. I'm usually sitting here reading, sipping tea with my Kermit face on.
That being said, I have triggers. There are times when I HAVE to say something. I may have contributed to a Mer Mania post getting deleted today. An admin had posted that a certain person discussed on our mervert list has been banned from the event. Someone proceeded to say that she thought that mervert was simply misunderstood as she has never had a negative experience with him. I was really upset by that. I've seen plenty of you guys post your VALID concerns about this mervert and her comment really diminished the experiences and opinions of MANY mers. I also mentioned that his recent atrocious comments on the Mer Mania page further show that he's not really misunderstood at all, he has made his bad behavior quite clear. I HAD to say something about that, you guys. There's really nothing that I hate more than when someone denies that something exists just because they themselves have not experienced it.
Echidna
10-01-2015, 04:50 PM
I don't get involved as I don't know anything or anyone. I don't have personal friends here, all internet ones, so I don't know squat how people react and such
That's a good approach, but on a sidenote:
I think it's possible to make real friends on the internet if you have enough interaction (and eventually follow it up with phone/skype calls, and a real meeting some day).
I became fast friends with several people that way :)
shimmygoddess
10-01-2015, 08:19 PM
There's really nothing that I hate more than when someone denies that something exists just because they themselves have not experienced it.
OMG...I stand up and applaud you..and very loudly! I have been saying this for years when our local pod had drama and most everyone dismissed our concerns.
Mermaid Alea
10-01-2015, 10:16 PM
There are lots of good tips on here. Sometimes it is super hard to not let people you don't know on the internet get to you. I uploaded a photo on Deviantart a few years ago and this person who wasn't one of my watchers or anyone I knew commented that I was ugly, etc. It really upset me for the rest of the day even though I knew I shouldn't let someone like that get to me.
What did make me happy though was the way I decided to handle their comment. I told them "Thanks have a nice day!" I figured maybe I could kill them with kindness. They certainly didn't reply again.
Mermaid Kelda
10-02-2015, 05:41 AM
I'm definitely one of those people who broods until they explode. I hate hate hate arguing with people over the internet because a) I generally don't like to fight in any situation and b) tone, context, and meaning are so hard to extrapolate. If I'm there in person with someone, I can speak up about things that bother me as they happen without thinking "but is it annoying of me to post about that?", and I can gauge people's actual intent when they speak.
Some people do have a more brusque manner of typing and sometimes I find it rude where it might not have been meant that way. Now, although that's on me to interpret things how I will, I do think that people should be mindful of how they're wording things on the internet. I feel like it's just as much my responsibility to think about how I infer things as it is to give some thought to how I imply things.
Ciriun
10-03-2015, 11:41 AM
Some people do have a more brusque manner of typing and sometimes I find it rude where it might not have been meant that way. Now, although that's on me to interpret things how I will, I do think that people should be mindful of how they're wording things on the internet. I feel like it's just as much my responsibility to think about how I infer things as it is to give some thought to how I imply things.
This is why I'm actually a big fan of mindful emoticon use. Placed carefully, they can offer clues to the intended tone and meaning of a post. They are basically a substitute for body language.
So this isn't related to anything previously said, but I think I should bring it up.
Today I invited a friend to check out MerNetwork, and I was met with "The only reason I would keep up with MerNetwork is to laugh at you guys bitch at each other."
It isn't nearly as bad as it used to be, but I remember there used to always be something and members upon members would bail out of the site. I dunno, I just thought that it was silly how even to people who are not in the community, we are just known as the 'dramatic ones'.
A lot of the time, I don't think that it is because of the communities diversity, sometimes people are just close minded and bitchy. I wish something could be done :(
SeaGlass Siren
10-03-2015, 11:38 PM
Well to be fair in your friends part there was some recent bitching today regarding aquariums but I don't get into that.
another thing I want to add is really strong opposing opinions from two parties
I doubt it was only about the aquarium buisness though, she more than likely didn't check it out in the past couple of weeks. But now that I think about it, I don't want anyone to over analyze this. Every community has issues.
SeaGlass Siren
10-04-2015, 08:34 AM
I meant to show how often drama comes to the forum. I agree though with that last statement.
Dancing Fish
10-04-2015, 10:49 AM
I admit I broke my own rules in that thread. But I wouldn't go into a thread discussing religion and tell them they're all wrong and just spouting typical religious propaganda. I wouldn't go into a thread with professional tarot readers and tell them that don't they know that tarot-reading isn't scientifically proven, duh, how gullible do you have to be to believe that stuff? (These are hypothetical; I don't feel that way.) There are respectful ways to disagree. And in this case I honestly cannot see another way to read the response as polite. She gave me a similarly brusque response once too, mischaracterizing what I wrote in a thoughtful post I'd spent a long time on. It really got under my skin then, but I bowed out instead. This time I decided to say something. Clearly I should have said something the first time, because I kept it bottled up and it came out yesterday.
So to keep this to the point of the thread (and my point is absolutely NOT let's all pile on anyone for past behavior! I am not looking for validation, I fully admit I added to drama here), let me ask you this...how should I as a bystander have handled it? I was going for "I thought that post was a bit rude, here's why" without derailing the conversation. But a true "drama" involves more than 2 people and so I'm lumped in with the bitchers who are being laughed at by offline friends (lol) in a community that has "issues" (double lol...show me a community that agrees all the time on everything). so I'm just throwing that out there. Maybe it should have been a private message? Or I should simply add yet another item (this one my livelihood and passion) to the list of things I never get into internet debates about?
How do you handle it when you simply cannot let something go? (Insert XKCD cartoon here. "Can't sleep. someone is wrong on the Internet!")
Merman Dan
10-04-2015, 10:53 AM
That's a good approach, but on a sidenote:
I think it's possible to make real friends on the internet if you have enough interaction (and eventually follow it up with phone/skype calls, and a real meeting some day).
I met my wife on AOL. Anything's possible. :)
AniaR
10-04-2015, 01:59 PM
So let me ask you all this:
What do you consider to be "drama" and why?
Madison MerFaerie
10-04-2015, 02:13 PM
That's a great question Raina.
I guess I don't consider heated discussions as drama. We are all passionate about different things, so it's gonna get heated when two people disagree sometimes.
I start to consider it drama when things include any of the following:
-Name calling
-Talking behind people's backs to other mers. (Be an adult. If you have a problem, tell the person that is causing the problem.)
-Not fighting your own battles and instead dragging other people in to do it for you
-When someone dismisses someone else's valid concerns/problems
-When someone plays victim when really they aren't (-insert WHY THE F*CK YOU LYIN? meme.- You know you're gonna get put on screenshot blast, so just be honest or you're gonna look stupid)
There's probably a few more for me to add to my own personal list here, but those are some of my biggies.
SeaGlass Siren
10-04-2015, 04:59 PM
Juliette pretty much summed up my thoughts.
AniaR
10-04-2015, 07:49 PM
See I personally feel there is a really big disconnect between what we say we think is drama, but what people respond to on here (and FB) as drama.
You have the obvious drama starters that we're all aware of and know of. But sometimes I am surprised at what turns into drama.
I will say I one got into drama with a mermaid (was it you jul? I can't remember now) literally because tapatalk combined their post with someone else. (I recently had tapatalk show me as pearliemae, I meant to get a screen shot of it to show everyone, but all pearlie's posts came up under my username with her icon!)
For me personally, I often feel people's pre-concieved notions of who they think I am perpetuate drama with me. I've been around a long time, and in my fight against mertailor trying to get refunded for the crappiest tail ever, he did a lot to try and discredit me in hopes of people never believing me. I think that whole experience really shaped *my* experience in the mermaid world. I am happy to say it effects it less and less these days, but for a few years now I'd get people who'd just write off whatever I said because they were huge mertailor fans and felt at war with me. It certainly added to how defensive I can get on the forum for sure.
Madison MerFaerie
10-05-2015, 02:48 PM
I will say I one got into drama with a mermaid (was it you jul? I can't remember now) literally because tapatalk combined their post with someone else. (I recently had tapatalk show me as pearliemae, I meant to get a screen shot of it to show everyone, but all pearlie's posts came up under my username with her icon!)
Yeah, it was me. Stupid Tapatalk, lol. But the thing is, the issue was figured out, you messaged me privately on FB and we chatted it out. Everything was good and it took like 5 seconds. I think that a lot of the PERSONAL "he said, she said, blah blah blah" drama we see on mernetwork and Facebook could be resolved if the two parties involved had a direct chat with one another. No third parties, no anonymous hate messaging, etc.
When posts involve touchy subjects (zoos/aquariums, vaccines, politics, etc) drama can happen and I don't really have solutions for that beside "do unto others..." Think about not just what you're saying but how you are saying it and put yourself in the other person's shoes. Would you like someone to speak to you that way?
I saw a post from my pal Merman Joseph a few weeks ago on Facebook and I've been trying hard to incorporate it into my life. I kinda failed when I made that Mertailor boomerang comment tho, so I guess I need to work harder lol
Before you speak THINK
T - is it True?
H - is it Helpful?
I - is it Inspiring?
N - is it Necessary?
K - is it Kind?
It sounds pretty idealistic, but honestly, maybe we need a little bit more of that in today's world.
PearlieMae
10-05-2015, 06:25 PM
Huh? Whoa! Sorry if I made you sound stupid, Raina! :lol:
I don't even use tapatalk!
Ciriun
10-05-2015, 07:38 PM
Thank you Madison Juliette! That acronym is actually really handy for knowing when a post is worth sharing. The I is probably the hardest, but I think most posts probably only need to pass the rest of the letters.
Mermaid Jaffa
10-05-2015, 08:37 PM
So let me ask you all this:
What do you consider to be "drama" and why?
Drama is fin pointing and bubble spouting, followed by serious glaring and pouting, and finished with fist shakin' and angry tail swishes.
Sherielle
10-06-2015, 02:26 PM
I kinda failed when I made that Mertailor boomerang comment tho, so I guess I need to work harder lol
Don't you dare apologize for that boomerang comment!! It still makes me laugh.
Madison MerFaerie
10-07-2015, 08:29 PM
The I is probably the hardest, but I think most posts probably only need to pass the rest of the letters.
Good call, and I definitely agree!
Don't you dare apologize for that boomerang comment!! It still makes me laugh.
I'm sorry that I'm not sorry then..... hahahaha
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