Preferred Pronoun, What's Yours?

[KayNS]

The name pronunciation thread made me think of this for some reason. I did a quick search to see if there was a general Post Your Pronouns kind of thread and didn't see one directed towards everyone.
if there is one, please feel free to direct me there and/or delete this thread.

So, if you care to share, what's you preferred pronoun? Does your mersona use a different pronoun than your everyday self?


I prefer she/her in all aspects of my life.

[Mermaid Mystery]

I prefer she/her but he/him is perfectly acceptable as well. Sometimes I prefer some pronouns over others so I will correct anyone when needed :)

[Triton-Mahtlinnie]

They/Them. Both for myself and for my mer-self.

[suzanne86]

"I prefer she/her in all aspects of my life." Me too.

[Madison MerFaerie]

I recently read a short piece online about accidentally trans-phobic phrases and was surprised to see that "preferred pronoun" can be viewed as offensive. After reading the reasoning I definitely see how offense can be taken with that terminology. What are your thoughts on it?

http://mashable.com/2015/10/18/transgender-ally-words/#bpxz2kL9UkqW

Sorry to crash your thread KayNS, but this is something that I have been thinking about for the last couple of days and I think this is a great thread to see what others think.

My answer to your question: she/her. :p

[Mermaid Wesley]

I was surprised when I heard that too. Especially because trans people taught it to me, but I get it now. Cis people get pronouns, trans people get preferred pronouns cis people get gender trans people get gender identity etc etc. and she/her, but when people refer to me as they/them online im happy for it. I'm cis but they pronouns being used casually makes my inner social justice archer happy. (I'm not the warrior type)


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[Mermaid Kelda]

Social justice archer. I like it! You should coin it. Maybe I'll be a social justice mage.

[Starfrit]

Can I be the Social Justice Cleric? :D

Personally I prefer she/her and them/they, since I'm somewhere between female-identifying and gender neutral.

[KayNS]

I can see how the "preferred" part could be construed as offensive, and I apologize as that was not my intent. I too learned to ask for "preferred pronouns" from trans* and non-binary friends. Personally, I feel like asking "What's your pronoun?" could be more offensive, as to me it sounds more like "are you a boy or a girl?" But I acknowledge that as a cis woman I don't have any basis for knowing what could be offensive to a non-cis person, nor do I have any right deciding that.

Anyway, I hope that everyone on here understands that my post was written from a place of love and a desire to reduce assumptions about gender.

[SeaGlass Siren]

I prefer she/her. I'm as girly as a girl can be.

[Madison MerFaerie]

KayNS, it wasn't my intent to make you feel bad with that link. Similar to you and Wesley, I learned to ask for preferred pronoun from non-binary friends. I totally never realized that can be offensive to some until a few days ago. Just wanted to share the link because I found it interesting and was wondering what people thought about it.

Sorry for hijacking. Please don't hate me forever.

[KayNS]

KayNS, it wasn't my intent to make you feel bad with that link. Similar to you and Wesley, I learned to ask for preferred pronoun from non-binary friends. I totally never realized that can be offensive to some until a few days ago. Just wanted to share the link because I found it interesting and was wondering what people thought about it.

Sorry for hijacking. Please don't hate me forever.

Don't worry, I don't feel bad. I am always open to learning more and I also found it interesting. I don't hate you at all. :-)

[AniaR]

I worked a gig this summer with Iona where a girl* was there that I'd seen the year before. Iona referred to them as he and I corrected to she. The person had previously identified as female but had since cut their hair. I thought Iona had simply made a mistake but turns out it was my mistake! They now identified as male and apologized to me for confusing me!!! They said they didn't have a binder for swimming. I felt sooooo bad but Iona saved the day and the awkwardness and he was very forgiving of me. Iona told them all about the binder threads on here :)

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[Talia]

I am "she" and "her". Thank you for starting this thread :)

[rivermermaid]

They/them, I'm non-binary but I don't really care if you call me him or her, it doesn't really matter to me.
Gender isn't really a big thing for me, I've kind of been through the phase of needing to label myself and now I' just like "meh, I'm me and that's all that matters".

[MermaidRaegan]

Thank you for this thread!

I've never been offended over 'preferred pronouns' but I have trans* friends who are squicked by the phrase. I think it depends on the person, plus things are always changing as more people learn vocabulary and the public discussion opens up.

I usually don't mind how people use my pronouns; she, him, they, most days I honestly don't care, but some days I experience more disphoria than others. (Is that normal? Shrug.) which is for the best since coming out at work and to some family is a no go. Recently I've been experimenting with ze/zir/zeself and I like the way it fits, minus sometimes I get insecure and worry that I'm trying to be a 'special snowflake'.

[Grey Gambit]

They/them, I'm non-binary but I don't really care if you call me him or her, it doesn't really matter to me.
Gender isn't really a big thing for me, I've kind of been through the phase of needing to label myself and now I' just like "meh, I'm me and that's all that matters".
^ I feel the same way. The "I'm just me and I've always been, but.. *shrugs*"

And they/them pronouns for me.

[Mermaid Kelda]

It'd be cool to have a section under people's avatars with "Pronoun", and a drop down selector in the profile settings, so people can easily see preferred pronouns. Both for non-binary people and those who don't have a particularly gendered avatar.

[rivermermaid]

They shouldn't really matter anyways, we should be called whatever makes us comfortable.

[Coradion]

Goddess would be mine.

[Princess Kae-Leah]

Definitely she/her

[MerChemi]

I use they/them pronouns, but I'm not too fussed if people use she/her pronouns either.
Thank you for starting this thread, KayNS! Pronouns can go a long way in making people feel more comfortable, but they're not discussed enough in my opinion u vu

[Celestialmermaid]

I prefer he/him ☺️✨

[Neerai]

I'm a "she"! Thanks for asking!

[Mermaid Whisper]

*collects pronouns like poker chips*

*has been subtly nb since 2014*

They/them to people who understand, and whatever people think I am for people who don't. I don't mind too much. It changes all the time, anyway 🤷🏻*♀️


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