Dunk Tank Insults help?

[New York Mermaid]

Hey Everyone I currently have a gig coming up where I will be in tail and in a dunk tank and I can always use some ideas to "heckle" those who cant throw, It is a ren faire themed event for adults only, so everyone will dressed in their ren faire best of course.. But they get to play "dunk the Mermaid" for 2 hours- Have in mind, this is not my forte, Im more than anything lol and I want to keep it fairly clean though. All in good fun of course. so.. HALP?!

So far I have -

"You couldn't hit water if you fell out of a boat" (this is one from my hubby)

"That's okay, if I get bored, I can start fishing"

"Keep it up, and I'll have to jump in just to keep cool "

"A one eyed pirate has better aim than you do"

Yeah.. I suck at these..lol

[Lotus the Mermaid]

You don't suck! Those are really good! They're punny and/or relevant to the theme, and they do the job of heckling while not being too mean. :)

Here are a few (I hope they're decent):

"I see you haven't gotten used to your land legs yet!"

"I think you're missing the point of the game, you see - you're supposed to hit the target."

"Whenever you're finished practicing, I'd like to take a dip if you don't mind."

"That's all right, it's not like mermaids need water to survive. Oh, wait..."

"Don't mind me. I'll just catch a tan while I'm here."

"How long has it been? I think I'm drying out."

I'll try to come up with more. <3

[SeaMansa]

Those are great LOL Okay I'll give some a shot:
- "Aww, You throw just as badly as you look."
- "Wow I thought I was supposed to be the only creature from the sea here. Ladies and gents, Moby Dick has arrived" <--- If the person is particularly heavyset. Wait is that one too mean? If you so, you could replace Moby Dick with "Ursula the Sea Witch has arrived" which might be better. If it's a woman. Or if they are wearing purple and black.
- "Hey I've got a riddle for ya: What's got no arms, no eyes, and can't see? I don't know, but I'm sure it throws better than you!"
- "I've seen octopuses with no arms throw better than that!"
Yeah, that's all I got....

[SeaGlass Siren]

"You call that a pitch? My grandmaw swims faster than that!"

[malinghi]

Have you googled it? If you look up "dunk tank insults" there are some results with some pretty good ones. They're obviously not specific to ren faires or mermaids, but just because you're a mermaid doesn't mean all of your insults have to be mermaid themed. Also, you could probably modify some of them to relate to merfolk.

https://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20090519153128AAkRRNn
http://www.head-case.org/forums/topic/10691-heckling-help-i-think-ive-come-to-the-right-place-for-ideas/


As for mermaid and ren faire themed one's, here's what I've got:

"I wanna be where the people are, I wanna see, wanna see them sucking..."

"Go ahead and keep missing. If I die from dehydration I won't have to look at your face anymore."

"What's the difference between you and sea sponge? One's a brainless, spineless, creature that goes nowhere its whole life, and the other lives in the ocean."

"Are all human this helpless, or just the ugly one's?"

"Shouldn't you be by the king's side right now? He's going to get worried when he finds out his fool wandered off."

"I heard you had mussels, but then you finished your dinner."

"I haven't been this dry since that time I slept with your boyfriend/girlfriend."

"Hey, you know what the mermaid said to the sexy human? Of course you don't."

"I didn't know there'd be celebrities here! Ladies and Gentlemen, it's Quasimodo!"

"Your momma's so fat, some pirates made her walk the plank and it caused a tsunami."

"You're by far the ugliest thing I've ever seen, and my ex-roommate was an anglerfish."

"Are you sea turtle? Cause if I was your mom I'd bury you in the sand and leave you."


That's the best I could do. Sorry.
I feel like there should be a lot of good ren faire themed insults but I can't think of any.

[New York Mermaid]

I've googled quite a few but many are way too.. mean. but you guys OMG thank you so much, these are awesome.!!

[Fun123joker]

some of these are really good
i find it kinda funny when the mermaid is so kind, she has to go online to look for insults
no shame though

[New York Mermaid]

Lol Im just a bit timid, im always sweet and gentle because I work with lots of kinds, even the big VIP event I did I was still sweet and playful. the people loved it. But looks like ill be pushing that all aside since they want me to really bring on the insults.

[mermanRoman117]

Really?


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