Mermaid Sirena
01-20-2012, 11:07 AM
Disclaimer: I am not looking to get involved in the drama or the pettiness or receive hard feelings from anyone for anything. However I realize posting my feelings will set me up for someone to not agree and decide they don't like me. These are my observations and impressions based on what has happened in the public eye sense I have been apart of this community. If you don't like that someone has opinions on your drama keep that in mind before making it a public subject. Also this is not aimed at anyone in particular as it is something that I have noticed through out the community, if I thought sending a PM to one person could express my feelings I would but it's not that simple.
I am tired of all the drama with Eric, and I am tired of all the fighting. If it was new 'drama' with a purpose it would be acceptable.
The Mertailor review Started by Sephina is perfectly acceptable. Because she is posting about a personal experience that has happened to her, it is a new experience and she is seeking experience from others who have order tails from him. She is not looking to start drama and she is not being course, immature or rude in how she is going about it. She gave the facts and her personal opinions in a way that is straight forward but to the point. Absolutely perfect.
What is not ok is how during the course of this review it turned into a pissing match between members, and I say MEMBERS. Just because you don't like or respect or even give a damn about someone doesn't mean they are any less of a part of this community or less of a mermaid or a merman. I'm not pointing fingers several people were involved. I don't care what your personal feelings are for someone, you can hate their guts and wish them to die for all I care. You have to remember THEY ARE A PERSON TO, and there is a lot that goes on behind the scenes you don't know about.
This also goes with understanding that when someone has had a bad experience with someone you need to respect their opinion and try to understand it. If you really feel they are wrong then send them a PRIVATE message and talk to them calmly and rationally like the ADULTS we claim to be. This can often resolve a situation either be taking care of a misunderstanding, have their side of the story become clear and make sense, or at the very least getting all of your frustrations and opinions out at once so that you can move on with your life.
Now I'm not saying that what everyone says about Mertailor isn't true or that he should be given a second chance or anything like that, I'm not even saying you should pretend to like him. But weather you like him or not he is a human being and should at the very least be given the respect that goes with that. He has feelings and emotions just like every one else, now that's not to defend him specifically because that is true of all the people in this community. However he also needs to stop doing public out calls and disrespecting people as well. This is by no means a one way street.
One of my favorite books of all So You Want to be a Wizard had one line that has stuck with me all my life, "Greetings and Defiance" just because you don't like someone and don't respect them doesn't mean you shouldn't be courteous and polite.
Having only negative feed back for everything he does post is not a way to stop the drama. Example he mentioned shutting down his online site and only taking orders by mail, if nothing else this shows an understanding that he is over whelmed and is willing to at least contemplate the idea of taking no more orders or very few until he has finished what he has started. When Mike made a similar announcement everyone was positive and said wonderful things about him being such a great guy for accepting he is only human and finishing what he has promised to do before promising more.
Also we seem to have a problem with people jumping to conclusions and being all aboard the hate train as soon as it seems to pull in. To the point of pulling in people or situations that are not relevant to the situation, which naturally leads to more drama. One example is how Anair posted about how she was blocked from one tail-makers page without ever naming who it was or confirming or denying peoples suspicions. HOWEVER people took this and have decided that the person she was talking about was Mike Van Daal. Were the several details that strongly hinted it was him? Yes. Was it ever proven that it was or wasn't? No.
What really bugs me is that because one well respected person of the community expressed herself, people have decided that he is most defiantly who she was talking about and starting treating him the same way they treat Mertailor. I understand why people feel about Mertailor they way they do he seems to of dug enough graves to of earned it, however Mike has not. This was the first potentially negative thing I have every heard ANYONE EVER say about him.
Maybe he did block her, and maybe he didn't. Even if it was him you don't know why he did it. People are assuming it's because he's like best friends with Melissa. Well, just because someone knows, are friends with or even dating someone you don't like, either because of personal experience or what a vast majority of people say does not make them the same kind of person. That is deciding someone is guilty by association and frankly if that was true then I would be a horrible selfish person who used everyone for their money and dropped 'friends' once I was done with them, because of who I am dating and what people say about him.
From everything I've heard and the one time I actually got to the meet Mike I really doubt that is what happened, you don't know everything. For all you know he could just be playing nice to Melissa because he is a decent person who doesn't let his feelings for someone effect business relations. There could be millions reasons why if it was even him. One thing people aren't thinking about is maybe he was trying to avoid drama, Anair I love you but you really do seem to be the drama lightning rod of the community (which is exceedingly not fair as you are an amazing person and don't deserve any of it from what I have seen). In the end he is human also and makes mistakes or less then amazing decisions. WE STILL DO NOT KNOW IF IT WAS IN FACT ACTUALLY HIM OR NOT!
I'm not just saying this because I think he's a great guy and don't want the image of him broken in my head. If something happens I will happily admit he is not worthy of the pedestal I and many other Mer's have given him. I have quite a bit of experience with people I thought I knew and respected being nothing like what I thought and cutting down those who supported them in ways that were less then lady or gentleman like. But I am still friends with them and I am still nice and polite because they are human and deserve to be treated as such.
Something else I have noticed going on, we claim to be a community that accepts everyone and is open and loving. We say we are against bullying and try our best to prevent and stop it where ever we see it especially when it comes to those of our community. We have been failing. We call people names all the time on here and if the community as a whole doesn't like them no one says anything. I am. We should not be able to say something like that snake or that woman or he who must not be named and have the whole community know who you are talking about. This isn't just for the big names, I know there have been other mers that haven't been accepted in the community and have been drive away or feel like an outsider because of messages they have received from other members. This is not acceptable, if you have a problem with someone talk to them as an ADULT, or speak with an admin.
You can hate someones guts but you should give credit where credit is due. I know several people on here do not like Melissa (I was not around for that so personally I have no idea why) and you can hate her all you want. That doesn't change the fact that she has excelled as a mermaid and to me at least is an inspiration of where I can go if I work hard enough. I'm not saying she as a person is an inspiration or every little thing she does, but she has turned herself into a well known mermaid who has obtained a great deal of skill and fame. Weather you like her or not she has carved another path for mers to follow, just like Hannah. Though personally I feel it is more obtainable to reach where Melissa has gotten then Hannah, Hannah is like her own magical class of mermaid in my eyes.
In conclusion:
1) Don't let threads degenerate into hate trains of someone or something. Stay on topic.
2) Being disrespectful to fellow mers is wrong.
3) If you have a problem with someone try to talk it out respectfully as ADULTS over private message, or seek out an Admin.
4) Mertailor (and everyone else) is a person and should be treated as such.
5) "Greetings and Defiance"
6) If all you look for is negativity that's all you'll find.
7) Don't assume anything about anyone, ever.
8) Don't blindly follow.
9) Give people a second chance.
10) People are not guilty by association.
11) You do not know the whole situation nor both sides.
12) Accept the good things people have brought to the community even if you hate them.
13) We need to live up to our own standards of acceptance and anti-bullying.
I am tired of all the drama with Eric, and I am tired of all the fighting. If it was new 'drama' with a purpose it would be acceptable.
The Mertailor review Started by Sephina is perfectly acceptable. Because she is posting about a personal experience that has happened to her, it is a new experience and she is seeking experience from others who have order tails from him. She is not looking to start drama and she is not being course, immature or rude in how she is going about it. She gave the facts and her personal opinions in a way that is straight forward but to the point. Absolutely perfect.
What is not ok is how during the course of this review it turned into a pissing match between members, and I say MEMBERS. Just because you don't like or respect or even give a damn about someone doesn't mean they are any less of a part of this community or less of a mermaid or a merman. I'm not pointing fingers several people were involved. I don't care what your personal feelings are for someone, you can hate their guts and wish them to die for all I care. You have to remember THEY ARE A PERSON TO, and there is a lot that goes on behind the scenes you don't know about.
This also goes with understanding that when someone has had a bad experience with someone you need to respect their opinion and try to understand it. If you really feel they are wrong then send them a PRIVATE message and talk to them calmly and rationally like the ADULTS we claim to be. This can often resolve a situation either be taking care of a misunderstanding, have their side of the story become clear and make sense, or at the very least getting all of your frustrations and opinions out at once so that you can move on with your life.
Now I'm not saying that what everyone says about Mertailor isn't true or that he should be given a second chance or anything like that, I'm not even saying you should pretend to like him. But weather you like him or not he is a human being and should at the very least be given the respect that goes with that. He has feelings and emotions just like every one else, now that's not to defend him specifically because that is true of all the people in this community. However he also needs to stop doing public out calls and disrespecting people as well. This is by no means a one way street.
One of my favorite books of all So You Want to be a Wizard had one line that has stuck with me all my life, "Greetings and Defiance" just because you don't like someone and don't respect them doesn't mean you shouldn't be courteous and polite.
Having only negative feed back for everything he does post is not a way to stop the drama. Example he mentioned shutting down his online site and only taking orders by mail, if nothing else this shows an understanding that he is over whelmed and is willing to at least contemplate the idea of taking no more orders or very few until he has finished what he has started. When Mike made a similar announcement everyone was positive and said wonderful things about him being such a great guy for accepting he is only human and finishing what he has promised to do before promising more.
Also we seem to have a problem with people jumping to conclusions and being all aboard the hate train as soon as it seems to pull in. To the point of pulling in people or situations that are not relevant to the situation, which naturally leads to more drama. One example is how Anair posted about how she was blocked from one tail-makers page without ever naming who it was or confirming or denying peoples suspicions. HOWEVER people took this and have decided that the person she was talking about was Mike Van Daal. Were the several details that strongly hinted it was him? Yes. Was it ever proven that it was or wasn't? No.
What really bugs me is that because one well respected person of the community expressed herself, people have decided that he is most defiantly who she was talking about and starting treating him the same way they treat Mertailor. I understand why people feel about Mertailor they way they do he seems to of dug enough graves to of earned it, however Mike has not. This was the first potentially negative thing I have every heard ANYONE EVER say about him.
Maybe he did block her, and maybe he didn't. Even if it was him you don't know why he did it. People are assuming it's because he's like best friends with Melissa. Well, just because someone knows, are friends with or even dating someone you don't like, either because of personal experience or what a vast majority of people say does not make them the same kind of person. That is deciding someone is guilty by association and frankly if that was true then I would be a horrible selfish person who used everyone for their money and dropped 'friends' once I was done with them, because of who I am dating and what people say about him.
From everything I've heard and the one time I actually got to the meet Mike I really doubt that is what happened, you don't know everything. For all you know he could just be playing nice to Melissa because he is a decent person who doesn't let his feelings for someone effect business relations. There could be millions reasons why if it was even him. One thing people aren't thinking about is maybe he was trying to avoid drama, Anair I love you but you really do seem to be the drama lightning rod of the community (which is exceedingly not fair as you are an amazing person and don't deserve any of it from what I have seen). In the end he is human also and makes mistakes or less then amazing decisions. WE STILL DO NOT KNOW IF IT WAS IN FACT ACTUALLY HIM OR NOT!
I'm not just saying this because I think he's a great guy and don't want the image of him broken in my head. If something happens I will happily admit he is not worthy of the pedestal I and many other Mer's have given him. I have quite a bit of experience with people I thought I knew and respected being nothing like what I thought and cutting down those who supported them in ways that were less then lady or gentleman like. But I am still friends with them and I am still nice and polite because they are human and deserve to be treated as such.
Something else I have noticed going on, we claim to be a community that accepts everyone and is open and loving. We say we are against bullying and try our best to prevent and stop it where ever we see it especially when it comes to those of our community. We have been failing. We call people names all the time on here and if the community as a whole doesn't like them no one says anything. I am. We should not be able to say something like that snake or that woman or he who must not be named and have the whole community know who you are talking about. This isn't just for the big names, I know there have been other mers that haven't been accepted in the community and have been drive away or feel like an outsider because of messages they have received from other members. This is not acceptable, if you have a problem with someone talk to them as an ADULT, or speak with an admin.
You can hate someones guts but you should give credit where credit is due. I know several people on here do not like Melissa (I was not around for that so personally I have no idea why) and you can hate her all you want. That doesn't change the fact that she has excelled as a mermaid and to me at least is an inspiration of where I can go if I work hard enough. I'm not saying she as a person is an inspiration or every little thing she does, but she has turned herself into a well known mermaid who has obtained a great deal of skill and fame. Weather you like her or not she has carved another path for mers to follow, just like Hannah. Though personally I feel it is more obtainable to reach where Melissa has gotten then Hannah, Hannah is like her own magical class of mermaid in my eyes.
In conclusion:
1) Don't let threads degenerate into hate trains of someone or something. Stay on topic.
2) Being disrespectful to fellow mers is wrong.
3) If you have a problem with someone try to talk it out respectfully as ADULTS over private message, or seek out an Admin.
4) Mertailor (and everyone else) is a person and should be treated as such.
5) "Greetings and Defiance"
6) If all you look for is negativity that's all you'll find.
7) Don't assume anything about anyone, ever.
8) Don't blindly follow.
9) Give people a second chance.
10) People are not guilty by association.
11) You do not know the whole situation nor both sides.
12) Accept the good things people have brought to the community even if you hate them.
13) We need to live up to our own standards of acceptance and anti-bullying.