Mermaiding and Assistants

[Mermaid Sirena]

I've been really struggling with the idea of having an assistant or mertender come with me to most or all of the events I'll be doing this year. I can see a lot of pros but I've also experienced a lot of cons. I sort of have this ideal but I don't know if it's worth it.

Pro's
They can help get me to and from the pool or display area
They can take photos and video
They can help put the kid mertails on them and keep track of rotation time
They are an extra safety measure incase an event or client is not what they claim to be
They can help with communication during event
They can help with on land affairs (like stashing the mermaid travel bag somewhere safe) while I'm busy
They can drive after an event, which is helpful when you cant see from constant chorine exposure

Con's
If they do not do their job it can result in lost items (like when they lost my change of cloths and I nearly had to go home with no shoes and wearing only a wet bikini bottom and shell top)
They can go in a corner and fall asleep (causing you to look unprofessional)
They can refuse to do the job they said they would
They can be a cause of frustration
They can be utterly useless and nothing but a bother and regret


I've also run into the problem that I feel I am forced to have a female assistant (not that there is anything wrong with that) simply because the few men who I trust refuse because they feel parents would be uncomfortable with a male helping their children put on a mer tails. Even if it is their job and that is what they are there to help do. Even when I brought up the point that parents never had a problem with the male lifeguards who helped once they say that's because they were life guards.

I want to be as professional as possible for this upcoming year and I am petrified of screwing up, or if I bring an assistant them screwing up. I've done 4 jobs this last year and already have 4 jobs scheduled for this year, but I still do not feel prepared or secure in my skills, what to do, or how to go about doing it.

Would appreciate any suggestions, advice, experience when it comes to assistants and people to help you.

[malinghi]

All of the cons you listed weren't problems associated with a having a bad/unreliable mertender, they're problems associated with a bad/unreliable assistant in any profession. If you can just find a qualified and trustworthy assistant then all of the potential drawbacks and problems of having an assistant are totally solved.

I wasn't sure if you were affiliated with a couple other mermaids in your area. Would you be able to help each other out, and have another mermaid be your mertender for some gigs, and you could be their mertender at their gigs?


I've also run into the problem that I feel I am forced to have a female assistant (not that there is anything wrong with that) simply because the few men who I trust refuse because they feel parents would be uncomfortable with a male helping their children put on a mer tails. Even if it is their job and that is what they are there to help do. Even when I brought up the point that parents never had a problem with the male lifeguards who helped once they say that's because they were life guards.

Well, I could point out that lifeguards don't help kinds put anything on or take anything off, and have basically no physical contact with the kids, but ultimately I think you're right that many people would be uncomfortable with a man helping their kid into a mermaid tail, which there isn't much you can do about. But I do think that you could have a male mertender to help out with everything else, especially if he had a costume and was part of your performance and activities, like a pirate or sailor. Its a shame how that plays right into the gendered stereotypes I'd like to see less of, but this is a business, and it isn't your job to make people get over their gender biases.

Although if you did want to avoid following these stereotypes, you could have a male or female mertender and have a merman assistant that performs with you.

I'd like to know more about what you do at parties, and how much you are in character while there. Does your character have much backstory that the mertender could be incorporated into?

[Mermaid Sirena]

All of the cons you listed weren't problems associated with a having a bad/unreliable mertender, they're problems associated with a bad/unreliable assistant in any profession. If you can just find a qualified and trustworthy assistant then all of the potential drawbacks and problems of having an assistant are totally solved.

That's true I didn't think about the fact, this isn't mer specific but for every field there is.

I know lifeguards don't normally help with that sort of stuff, one of the jobs I did the lifeguards did help the kids get the tails on which was very nice of them. I was just using his gender as a reference. One reason I would love to be able to have a male friend do it, is it is much easier for them to pick my tail and I up and carry around making trips between way less awkward.

So far I've only done a few events and really my whole purpose was to draw attention and people in to swim with the mermaid, so there wasn't a ton of in-depth interaction other then kids asking if I was real, if I had any pets, knew ariel, and why I wasn't in the ocean. I don't have a lot of background though I do plan on changing this once I figure out where I want to go with the motivational speeches for kids. Right now I mostly make things up as I go, I have experience in improvisational acting so this isn't an issue for me.

I didn't think about having a fellow mer, Luna's in the area :)

[Mermaid Saphira]

I have a close friend who is my assistant, however she refuses to help at the library with out her own tail LOL ^_^

[AniaR]

My mertender is my boyfriend, and several friends. My boyfriend wont accept any payment, but if I make money I do pay my friends a percentage. That's probably why they always work their butts off

[Mermaid Sirena]

Originally I wanted mine BF to be mine as well though unfortunately that is not going to happen :(

That is a good point, how would you about figuring out how much to pay them?

[malinghi]

Originally I wanted mine BF to be mine as well though unfortunately that is not going to happen :(

How come?

As for how much to pay, that's a good question. I wonder how other performers who work with an assistant determine the payment, like magicians. Maybe people just negotiate the price until they find an agreeable rate.

[Mermaid Sirena]

I love him dearly but he was the bad experience and even though he says he's willing to do what ever he can to help me with this dream I'm not comfortable giving him another try. At least not for a while + he reminded me of his fear of water (not water its self just the things in it so pools are fine).

[Mermaid Luna]

Sirena, if you ever need a mertender, call/text me, and I'll see if any of mine are available to help you. =) You've already met Chucky, and Bert and Steve are also amazing guys. And if you need a photographer, I've got Sami.

[BlueMermaid]

If you have a good mertender, it's great, but the ones that are uninterested just make it harder.

I agree that mertenders, especially males, should not touch the children. They should tell the kids to have their parents to help with the mermaid tails. Sorry guys, but the pervs out there have made you all suspect. :( It's sad but it's a reality that all parents are on the watch for, and might take something innocent or accidental and assume the worst.

I think I've mentioned this before, but this is very important. Never have a mertender take photos without permission. Tecniclly, if they are in a public place, you can take photos. But parents can be very touchy about this subject, and can be especially concerned about photos of their children in bathing suits being posted on the internet. I strongly discourage professional mers from taking photos of children without the client's permission, but really getting the parents permission is even better. You might not be doing anything illegal, but you may cause problems for the clients.

When I've done events without help, the event staff has been very accommodating. If you think you need assistance, let them know ahead of time.

Female mertenders can still help you in and out, remember pushing me and Mike to the pool on the chairs? :)





I've been really struggling with the idea of having an assistant or mertender come with me to most or all of the events I'll be doing this year. I can see a lot of pros but I've also experienced a lot of cons. I sort of have this ideal but I don't know if it's worth it.


Pro's

They can help get me to and from the pool or display area
They can take photos and video
They can help put the kid mertails on them and keep track of rotation time
They are an extra safety measure incase an event or client is not what they claim to be
They can help with communication during event
They can help with on land affairs (like stashing the mermaid travel bag somewhere safe) while I'm busy
They can drive after an event, which is helpful when you cant see from constant chorine exposure


Con's

If they do not do their job it can result in lost items (like when they lost my change of cloths and I nearly had to go home with no shoes and wearing only a wet bikini bottom and shell top)
They can go in a corner and fall asleep (causing you to look unprofessional)
They can refuse to do the job they said they would
They can be a cause of frustration
They can be utterly useless and nothing but a bother and regret



I've also run into the problem that I feel I am forced to have a female assistant (not that there is anything wrong with that) simply because the few men who I trust refuse because they feel parents would be uncomfortable with a male helping their children put on a mer tails. Even if it is their job and that is what they are there to help do. Even when I brought up the point that parents never had a problem with the male lifeguards who helped once they say that's because they were life guards.

I want to be as professional as possible for this upcoming year and I am petrified of screwing up, or if I bring an assistant them screwing up. I've done 4 jobs this last year and already have 4 jobs scheduled for this year, but I still do not feel prepared or secure in my skills, what to do, or how to go about doing it.

Would appreciate any suggestions, advice, experience when it comes to assistants and people to help you.

[merboy78xy]

I agree with the feedback you're getting. I think it's very smart to have someone who's able to run-around for you, and is also a benefit safety-wise to have someone who's legs aren't bound. I also like the idea of finding someone who this would be a job for-- giving them a stipend helps insure they want to do a good job. And I think it could be a fun idea if this mer-tender was also in character... a pirate who caught a mermaid, or a scientist studying the physiology of merfolk, etc. Someone who could take some of the questions, who knows the back-story, who helps corroborate the story, etc.

[Mermaid Luna]

Sirena, Alasea makes a good point. If you need a female mertender, I can see if my friend Sara is able to help. She basically volunteered herself for my Talk Like A Pirate Day events, and she was really great.

[Mermaid Sirena]

Gah only just saw all this. I actually now have two female mertenders, my sister and one of my best friends and after last event I defiantly would like someone around to watch out specifically for me if the kids get to rough.

[Odette]

yeah. try your friends first. my mertenders have been volunteers who i trust with being professional because they have showed it to me before (one of them is a costume manager and another is a pro bellydancer and my boyfriend has been a manager for one of his jobs when he was only 16).im sorry this ever happened. im scared too. no one wants to screw up. find who you are comfortable with and you will not have to worry so much. this is a great topic by the way.
im glad you found 2 girls who work for ya!! huzzah!

[AniaR]

1895

Mertenders are great for this kinda stuff :D

[Mermaid Luna]

and after last event I defiantly would like someone around to watch out specifically for me if the kids get to rough.
So I wasn't the only one where they got out of hand. =/ I'm thinking you had the same idea I did - definitely going to have a mertender who can swim and help keep the kids in line when I'm in the water with a bunch of them from now on, either that or ask Alasea to talk to the staff of wherever we're hired and have lifeguards do that job. Because I don't know about you, but one little boy kept literally yanking on my fluke and nearly drowning me when I was trying to swim the second night of our last gig.

[Odette]

that really is a big issue. i had a kid in the water with me when no one is allowed in there. a forgien mom let him sit in my lagoon.awful mess. so how can we know who will deal with kids well?how do the preschool teachers do it? lol. i ask that everyone watches their kids at my events. do you guys ever feel like your babysitting while performing?

[Mermaid Sirena]

Luna I think it might have been the same boy, only this time he got friends. I was literally mobbed by a group of small children who I could have sworn were bent on drowning me and ripping my tail off, while dragging me into deeper water.

I don't know how teachers for little children do it (or Raina), they are so exhaustive.

[BlueMermaid]

oh my that is terrible! there were no parents around?

[Mermaid Sirena]

It happens, there were a couple dads near by but when I surfaced they seemed to be in a deep conversation later another dad came up to me and asked if I was all right. I don't know exactly what kids did it cause once I got the wig out of my eyes the only ones around were these adorable little girls trying to help bring back to shallow water and brush hair out of my eyes, they had the hugest eyes and wouldn't stop asking 'are you ok Ariel', simply adorable.

So valuable lesson learned and no harm done.

So all of you who maybe aren't as good in tails and/or don't have long breath holds, learn from this you should. (Sorry had a yoda moment)

[Mermaid Saphira]

^ That is sooooo sweet! "Are you Okay Ariel?" <-- precious <3