Should I give up?

[Merman Chatfish]

Lately my depression has been triggered every night due, in part, due to my mer career. While everyone is interested in mermaids, there isn’t any interest in mermen it seems. I have talked with a local princess party company and she says if they ever get a request for a merman they will give me a call, but they arn’t advertising (see http://mernetwork.com/index/showthread.php?12194-Advice-for-joining-a-company). The pool I work at is doing a princess and pirate party in June, and the princess party company is supplying the princesses and mermaids, but when I ask the city’s event coordinator, she says they are just going to keep things as they were last year, so no. The owner of the princess company likes the idea of me being there, and parents are looking for more boy activities there (http://mernetwork.com/index/showthread.php?13086-Joining-pool-s-splash-party for more information). I was hoping a well known mermaid company would hire me as they have expressed interest in my stills working with kids and water safety, but they have been really busy, plus its in a different country and that makes it even harder.


I was talking to my therapist about it last night, and she thinks I should consider giving up mermaiding because of the depression problems it is causing, especially when I see pictures of mers doing things with kids and events on Facebook. I am great with kids and in the water, but being male, it becomes a lot harder to find things. Can I get any advice on what to do, or if I should just give up?

[Mermaid Cataleya]

Instead of giving up u need to find a friend to go into business with when she's hired your hired it will be a package deal kind of thing that is what I'd do at least


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[MermaidCelesteFL]

Have you had a heart-to-heart with Chris?

[AniaR]

I am in a unique situation here because I KNOW you in person and have seen you work.

I think your therapist is just a little ignorant to how mer stuff works. I would normally say do what your therapist says but in this case IM not

Im not saying to give up, Im saying adjust your expectation and the priority you place on being a merman. For the TIME BEING but dont give it up

I have actually SEEN you and you are AMAZING I have mentioned before I would hire you if I was able to do so. I dont think people online who havent met you can truley appreciate how talented you are with kids and in the water, and I think everyone who hasnt seen you or met you is like that. THey simply dont know

it's an uphill battle for mermen and you are trying to trailblaze. Maybe you need to hook up with another mer group and let them help you instead of putting it all on yourself.

The thing is, you have a talent and a skill and people are always weird about men who have talents and skills that affiliate with children. Men always have to work extra hard in that field. But I think it'll only make you more depressed to deny that part of yourself. It's honestly more than a hobby with you, it's a calling. No one is that damn good unless it's a calling ;)

So maybe back up and re-evaluate it, allow yourself more time and dont expect it'll work if you just work hard enough. Because it's just as much hard work as it is opportunities that come up, and yours hasnt come yet.

If the reaction youre getting is making you sad, def pull back a bit. but dont give up. Nothing worth having is EVER easy and we have all had to fight mini wars to get there my friend

BIG HUG

[Mermaid Momo]

I agree with Raina, I don't think you should give up, just re-evaluate your approach to going pro. You seem to rely heavily on other companies and other groups, is there a reason why you aren't marketing yourself as your own merman and instead you're going through 3rd parties? (he princess company and other mercompany) Sometimes what you need when other people aren't doing it for you is to just do it yourself ( "If you want it done right, do it yourself" etc, etc)

Don't give up because you haven't gotten the desired results yet, the biggest part of success is failure, that's just the part most people don't see when they look at successful people.

BUT if it's causing you so much distress I would say to take a small break from it to cool your head. Think of it as a vacation.

[Merman Andrew]

Since you love working with kids, another idea you might want to consider is to use your swim instructor qualifications and open your own mer swimming school! That way you still get to follow your passion of working with kids, and being a mer on a regular basis! If you don't want to go it on your own with that sort of venture you could look around and find some other mers who are interested in joining you to become assistant instructors, etc.

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[DexRicon]

Jason Robert Brown, a famous Broadway composer, answered the question "What's your advice, like how do you become a Tony award winning...what's your secret?" with "I don't recommend it as a path. I don't think it's a good idea. The only people who can do what I do are the ones who aren't gonna listen to me when I say don't do it." I think that's good advice for anyone trying to achieve success in any sort of art form. I'm not going to comment on the difficulty of being a merman, I know next to nothing about any part of the subject as every part either bores me or I actively dislike.

What I will comment on is that if it is something you love doing, do it because you love it.

Maybe you'll get famous, maybe not. Maybe you'll get your name out there enough that you become the go-to guy in your area. Maybe you do one thing a year and that's the end of the story. Whatever it is, you will get rejected. Often. Your art won't appeal to everyone. Some days will *SUCK* because of it. That's okay, though, because if you really love it, the moments -sometimes fleeting, always special- where you get to can make the whole thing worth it if you let them.

Wow, that was about six rhymes short of a Shakespearean soliloquy. Just...don't be unhappy because you have obstacles. Be happy because you do something that makes you happy.

[Merman Chatfish]

Hey everyone thank you for the responses. Sorry its been a while before I responded, its been hard to do stuff lately.


Cataleya that is what I want to do, and the princess group is what I have been aiming for. Sadly I don’t have any local friends I can go into business with. I have tried to meet up with the other two local mers in the area, but no success. Maybe a coworker from the pool though.


Celeste, yes I have talked to Chris after I posted this message.


Thank you Raina. And most people I know agree with you but if they haven’t seen me work they won’t know. Don’t forget I will be happy to move to Canada to work for you.


Momo, I don’t know how to market myself. I also don’t know much about doing parties anyways. I didn’t really do any birthday parties growing up.


I really need to get around to buying Raina’s books…especially if they have an audiobook version soon.


leomar, I have created a lesson plan for a mer swimming class. I am not sure what I would do for a multi-class program, but I have flagged Raina’s videos to watch when I can.

[TheSaltySiren]

Never give up!! There are always going to be hard times, haters and people who won't be supportive. But who cares. if this is your passion and dream then go for it. Don't be discouraged because you are a male. Like everyone else has said, try to find another mermaid to work with. I would love to find a merman to work with for my new mer company and would hire you as well just like Raina said. (BTW Raina I am in Ontario, hello to Halifax!)

You have talent my friend...Hugs.