Disability in the Mer-world

[theMerFanc]

I saw a post by TheAutisticMermaid (http://mernetwork.com/index/member.php?7399-TheAutisticMermaid) which I loved and it got me thinking about merfolk and mersonas with disabilities weather they are physical or mental. If you have a disability, is it portrayed in your mersona? Is it relevant or prominent when you'r swimming? How does it effect you in the water?

I am a huge advocate and activist for the disabled community and although all of my disabilities are hidden and I have learned to live with them so they don't cause much problem, I have to wonder if anyone else advocates through their mersona.


To add some back story, I have chronic back and knee pain, ADHD, hypersomnia, depression, asthma, and arthritis. I am currently learning Braille and ASL. I am also a puppy raiser for Guide Dogs for the Blind (although I am on hiatus right now due to living constraints). I am also a furry and one of my Fursonas is Blind and is a teacher and advocate. Her name is Iris.

I guess my biggest question is weather or not it would be massively offensive to the disabled community if I had a mersona who was blind or deaf in order to help teach and interact with children without myself having that particular disability. How would you describe to a child why a magical creature could still be disabled?

[AniaR]

here's my video about what I deal with:


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zhqlOkr1nHw&index=27&list=PLL8BBR9r-Pi-RWPAUXZrcbDs25GArBhEk

[theMerFanc]

Thanks Raina :) I'm watching it now. I've watched a lot of your So You Wanna be a Mermaid videos but somehow this one never came up in my suggestions.

Also your baby is super cute <3 I just adopted two 16 week old babies and they are cuddlign with me while I watch this :P

[Mermaid Whisper]

I'm autistic and have severe depression. I also have an anxiety disorder. I wanted to get a service dog, but with costs and effort, my parents said no.

My autism is what makes me feel everything in such a clear and pure way. I relate to the water, not the people in it, so I'm really more of a nightclub mermaid than one for children. I try not to tell people I'm autistic because it always ends in infantilization and one less friend or job.

The scars from my depression are going to stick with me for a while, though, and they're all across my left hand, so I'm trying to think of a story that goes with that.

I don't think my autism affects my swimming, though I am a bit less coordinated than most! I just have to work a little harder to perfect things. I can hold my breath for 37 seconds so far, and I'm still working! ❤️❤️


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[Rebela Hunter]

Wow, you all are extremely inspirational mers!< 3

I deal with alot of the things you guys deal with. I have anxiety, clinical depression [untreated], and Von Willebrand's Disease. VWD is a bleeding disorder that makes it to where my blood may or may not clot when I get injured, making me bleed a ton more than most people. It also means any bruises I get on any joints or limbs can severely impact my life, possibly leading to amputation if it got really bad.

By wanting to be a mer and be in the water, I can exercise and socialize with people and not have to worry about injuries. The water is like a cushion and I feel extremely at home in it - relaxed, even! Plus, it'd a great way to advocate for VWD and other things I'm interested in by having a tail. [I don't have one as of yet, but I used to have one - it was stolen, though!]

When I finally create my mersona, I want her to be almost a carbon copy of me with just a pinch of magic and a hint of mystery. Mostly because I want to tell children I have it so that I can inspire them to become their dream or accomplish their goals no matter what is stopping you! Where there's a will, there's a way!

[Marriih]

I think with the mental aspect it depends on how much it affects our behaviour in certain situations as well as for how much it's part of our actual personality... I'm not going to mention the list of my disorders etcetera but let's say I get some serious info-overload symptoms from being in crowded places and yes I'm very withdrawn also when I'm totally comfortable in my own home. That is definitely some disorders mixed with what is just me. I am just as withdrawn in the water as on land, though in water I feel like I want to run (swim) and hide more.
As for my physical "disabilities", I have arthritis plus more and I have accepted I'm just a bit "disabled" and it is just part of me now, so I can work on making things as comfortable for myself as possible. This somewhat restricts me, also in water. I try to make the best of it.

The way you deal with disabilities I think reflects your personality as well. Not entirely, but those that have to deal with it know what I mean, I hope.

[moniee]

This is a very interesting topic - subscribing as I'm interested and want to learn about people with disabilities.

[LouLouBelle]

I guess my biggest question is weather or not it would be massively offensive to the disabled community if I had a mersona who was blind or deaf in order to help teach and interact with children without myself having that particular disability.

To that particular question, I would say yes - it most definitely could offend people with that particular disability. Seeing someone pretend to have their condition and essentially making their disability part of a 'costume' really could be massively upsetting and insulting.

I think learning sign language and using it to communicate with Deaf people is fantastic, but you should never pretend you have the condition when you don't. I've been learning a bit of BSL and that's one of the things I've seen mentioned in more than one BSL book - they advise to never ever pretend your deaf to someone who is, because they'll see right through you and it will offend them.

Being honest, that's one of the things that makes me uncomfortable about mermaids using wheelchairs. Is it really considerate to take a piece of medical equipment that some people cannot mobilise without - ie something that they need and probably hate having to use, and to effectively turn it into part of a costume?

I realise nobody would do anything like that with the intent of offending anyone, but for people confined to chairs, it could look very different.

As far as disabilities go, I'm type one diabetic. I use an insulin pump that I currently have to detach when I swim, although I'm hoping to get a waterproof pump in the future. The only effect it has on my swimming is that I need to keep a close check on blood sugar levels, as a hypo in the water could be lethal. If I were in the water longer than a couple of hours I would need else reattach the pump for a bit too and check sugar levels, but I haven't had to do that yet.


Edited to add - something that didn't cross my mind but would probably be relevant too: I also have proliferative retinopathy, which is basically vascular disease of the eyes. I've had a lot of laser surgery to destroy damaged parts of retina and blood vessels inside my eyes, and my visual field is reduced as a result. I also find it a lot more difficult to see when the light levels are low (driving at night is not fun...) and that seems to make it more difficult to see underwater. I know most people say their vision blurs, but when I tried swimming without goggles I couldn't see anything - not even blurry shapes or colours. That definitely makes swimming and looking graceful more... challenging! [emoji23]


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[TheSaltySiren]

Awesome we finally have a thread about this!

Having Aspergers is actually one of my favourite things about myself. It helps me to see the world differently, etc. I always let people know I have ASD, and have never received any negativity from that. I also have rheumatoid arthritis,PTSD, CCPTSD, Anxiety and I faint if I get overheated.

However, I know myself enough to know if I need to get into shade, if I get sensory overload I know I need to take 5 mins, etc. I have incorporated all of this into my new mermaid business/project! I want kids with disabilities to understand that even mermaids can have issues as well, just like humans! I mean honestly why wouldn't Mers have disabilities etc? Especially living in the ocean lol.

Mermaid Whisper, For scars on your hand, and other injuries, you could make up a back story about where maybe you saved a dolphin from a fisher mans net and thats why you are all cut up, etc.

Also I think the idea of a blind or deaf mermaid is absolutely awesome! And I don't think the community would take offense. I have gotten nothing but positive feedback from the Autism community! Kids wanna feel included, and sometimes it is hard when all the mermaids are perfect looking. If the mermaids are more like them, they feel more comfortable and open up more easily!

We need more diversity in the Merworld for sure :) Like I always say, not everyone can be Ariel lol..

[TheSaltySiren]

Just gonna add this tidbit.

I use a wheelchair to be used around on land when in my tail, and I have never had a problem. Also, for the deaf mermaid, if you know ASL than I think it would be fine, as long as you'd not pretend to be completely deaf if you are not.
As for a blind mermaid, I would say someone that is actually blind in some way could pull it off. I do agree that no one should pretend to be blind, etc, as yes that can offend some people. I get positive feedback because I have Autism, so the community,parent, etc all support me. :)

[LouLouBelle]

Also I think the idea of a blind or deaf mermaid is absolutely awesome! And I don't think the community would take offense. I have gotten nothing but positive feedback from the Autism community! Kids wanna feel included, and sometimes it is hard when all the mermaids are perfect looking. If the mermaids are more like them, they feel more comfortable and open up more easily!


It's one thing to see more deaf and blind mermaids, but something else to see people pretend to be blind and deaf when they're not.

Look at it from this angle...

"It would be great to see more mers of colour, so why not have a coloured mersona even though you're white? Just use makeup to darken your skin. Won't that make mers of colour feel more 'included'?"

(I realise there is a whole other thread devoted to this, but it serves as a perfect example here...)

Still think people won't be offended if you pretend you have a disability?

What we need are more mers who are disabled and happy and confident in themselves to set an example, not more mers dressing up as if they're disabled.


Edit - just saw your last post.

Regarding wheelchairs, I can see how they could be really useful, but I don't think I'd ever be comfortable using one when I don't need it - not in the way physically disabled people do. I'd personally be much happier with a more makeshift cart or the like. I deal with a lot of patients who need wheelchairs and it's heartbreaking to see a lot of their reactions to being confined to a chair. I wouldn't want them to see me smiling and happy and using that same piece of equipment that they need and hate, all as part of a fantasy costume.

I know nobody would mean anything by it, but I know it would have the potential to really upset some people.

Just my thoughts!

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[theMerFanc]

Thanks all. That was sort of my assumption which is why I didn't ask about it sooner.

[merwandering]

I really agree with Lou- I think it is an AWESOME idea to promote the diversity of different abilities into mermaiding, but I would only want to see that done by incorporating individuals who truly have diverse abilities. I completely see and even commend where you are coming from, but I would bet that there are people with disabilities in your community who would love to get involved with you. As a mom of two kids with disabilities, I would be offended- one, because I really think that a huge problem is the lack of inclusion- and while you would be trying to include the idea of disabilities, actual people with those disabilities would still be being excluded from that effort. Also because giving a voice to disability should be an authentic voice. Taking something cool like mermaiding and using that platform as a place to embrace diverse abilities, though, is a really great idea.
Also- because of wheelchairs having been so necessary and represented something so very difficult for different members of my family, it is hard for me to see a piece of medical equipment used in that capacity. Though- I saw a children's hospital using a mermaid in a wheelchair to make wheelchairs appeal to the patients... I don't know. I know a lot of mermaids use wheelchairs, I just couldn't.

[theMerFanc]

My original thought and intention was that, despite my being a fraud, I could perhaps be able to inspire folks and children with said disabilities to realize they could be a mermaid too. I have a fairly small disabled community where I am at the o lay blind person I know moved away. Not sure if mermaiding would even be her thing but I want to be involved in helping disabled folks realize they aren't as limited as some of them think.

[merwandering]

My original thought and intention was that, despite my being a fraud, I could perhaps be able to inspire folks and children with said disabilities to realize they could be a mermaid too.

my experience has been that, of the people I know with disabilities, most of them don't feel nearly as limited in what their abilities allow them to do as limited by people's perceptions of what they can do, so I think it's a great idea, because it works on those limiting perceptions. * I am editing to say that I actually didn't mean limitations, I meant limitations in, just in some way, in the context of taking on the role of being a mermaid. Anyone at all can be a mermaid. But I am rereading it and realizing that, separating the idea of the role of a mermaid from the word limitations, that sentence is very different.*

I'd say that sometimes people with disabilities are less visible in the community- if this is something you are passionate about, maybe talking to outreach organizations or programs who are already working with community members, to find people who might be interested?

[LouLouBelle]

I know you mean well, but I really wouldn't advise it. You'd be much better off talking to and encouraging disabled people rather than pretending to be one.

To give my own perspective: So far I've never met another diabetic mer. If I came across someone who wasn't diabetic, but stuck on a fake insulin pump and pretended they were, rest assured I would not be impressed... My thoughts would be more along the lines of:

You're flaunting that as if it makes you an amazing inspiration... As if to say "oh look at what I can do with this make-believe condition! I'm pretending to have it to show YOU what it's like and what you can do - aren't I so inspiring?!"

Believe me when I say that's an insult. You have absolutely no idea what it's like. You don't live with the condition. You have never experienced it.

If you do not actually have the condition or disability, then you are in no position to tell people who do have it exactly what there limits are or aren't. If you try, it's only going to come across as condescending.

So please please think before you act. Talk to people with disabilities, include them, encourage them... but for crying out loud, don't pretend to be one.


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[Naomi Indigo]

I don't ever post here, mainly due to my disability. I have been lurking the forum for a while now. I'm on every day usually, never to comment. I have Schizophrenia. My mersona is from lake Erie, where many mers once lived. Then the humans polluted it so bad most of us died out. I was one of the survivors, but unfortunately, the toxicity of the city gave me a disability. Constantly paranoid of humans wanting to hurt me, hearing things they don't, seeing things they don't. Living in a world humans don't understand. My mersona helps me cope, actually. If someone is lucky enough to come across me swimming, it's even that much more magicalfor me and for them. For me, being able to see a human be nice to me. For them, seeing a mermaid.

[merwandering]

I'm realizing I worded my last response poorly- and I will change that. To be clear definitely I meant the idea of wanting to make a difference being a good one, not the idea of feigning disabilities- It just made me literally bust out laughing to read the bit about being a fraud. It was kind of the absurdity- I was more saying- mad props for wanting to be a force for advocacy, but it is sooooo incredibly important that you realize what is helpful and what is actually extremely detrimental.
Lou you are so right too about the idea of limitations in general. In this context I realize I wasn't talking about limitations in terms of actual limitations, I was talking about limitations in embodying the idea of a character- like if we were asked to imagine 100 mermaids together in a pool, the goal would be that eventually we get to the point where we all envision an accurate cross section of people- diverse in shapes and sizes and races and abilities. And I meant that of the people I know, it is much easier for them to imagine themselves in that role than it being as easy for other people to imagine. Right now, the general public, if they were to envision mermaids, might lean more heavily to a population of 100 mermaids that look very similar to one another and fit some kind of stereotype. So that piece is what I meant, as far as perceptions go- the piece of embracing the beauty of diversity through the eyes of the general population. Which is definitely a totally different issue than addressing the perception of limitations or disabilities
so in thinking about being a mermaid and not actual limitations, I glazed over the bit about telling people they aren't as limited as they think-
I was wrong in glazing over that.
I'm wrong a lot- but when I realize it I try to get it right.
disability is hugely and inescapably woven into every day of my life. It is a really, really big deal. One of my children has a moderate disability which changes the way we do a lot of things, but for the most part, we still do it, just differently. The other has a disability so severe that it absolutely effects what they can and can't do.
In some cases, it is infuriating that people don't get what great things my kids are capable of.
other times, it is infuriating when people don't realize how extremely hard it can be, or that, no, they aren't just 'less limited than they realize'
but you can be damn sure that they will know that they make perfect mermaids!

[theMerFanc]

Thanks guys :)

[Elle Dee]

I am new to the mernetwork ive never joined a forum before and i think this is only my 5th post, but for what its worth this is my experience...

I use cruthches i am recovering from surgery on my knee to fix a problem, which has had me on and of them for 16 years. for the first two months after my surgery i was in a wheelchair and i hated it. when i found about mermaiding and using monofins i thought this would be perfect for me. I had to wait for my physio to ok it but he agreed the movement would aid my recovery.

Getting into the water and being able to move for the first time in months was the best feeling ever and it makes me well up thinking how happy I have been using my monofin.my mood lifts ever when I talk to people about swimming they can see how happy it makes me(I have severe depression).

As for my swimming abilities as one leg is so much weaker, I cant swim in a straight line. To begin with I would constantly veer off to the left or end up floating with my left side sticking up, as there was no muscle strength to move, this has slowly been getting better with time and practice though. I also struggle with getting in out of the pool, I cant use a ladder and my boyfriend/merwrangler usually helps me out. Walking around immediately after swimming I'm dizzy and lose my balance this could partially be due to adjusting to having my full weight back and partially water in my ears.

I cant wait to make my own tail and have been stalking a lot of the threads trying to come up with a light weight easy to put design that would work for me. Reading through the threads my heart jumped a little when I saw a girl showing off her tails from a wheel chair, at first I thought "oh, someone else with problems walking" then I realised she was just using it because of course her legs were together and I know a lot of people use them for moving around on land but personally I don't like seeing it. I've seen so much creativity and ingenuity on this site like lou lou belle said some sort of cart to move around on land could be great- side note for one new years eve party I had a friend who went out as pirate with a few others they converted a shopping trolley into a pirate ship full of booze! point being is there are possibilities that don't involve wheelchairs.

going back to the original post though I agree with lou lou belle; in that I can see where your coming from but you cant pretend, just be accommodating to those with disabilities, I think learning sign language is great as you could say under water sound is muffled and mermaids use it to communicate. and for those with sight issues you could encourage them to touch your tail and the water and feel the movement as you swish your tail essentially try not to focus on what they cant do and what they can do.

also this article
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/newstopics/howaboutthat/4839818/Disabled-woman-given-mermaid-tail-to-help-her-swim.html (http://http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/newstopics/howaboutthat/4839818/Disabled-woman-given-mermaid-tail-to-help-her-swim.html)
gives an interesting example of mermaiding and disabilities and I found it very inspiring.

[Rebela Hunter]

Wow, reading all of these stories and things is amazing ;o;
Such a wonderful community !

[TheSaltySiren]

I agree with everyone in saying not to pretend to have a disability. My goal is to actually find other Mers who do have disabilities, and work with them.

Also about the wheelchair..I don;t think there is anything else that works well to move us around on dry land when in full silicone tail. I am eventually going to make the wheelchair into a huge rock like seat using paper mache, etc..that way the chair won't show at all and it will look way cooler to be sitting on a huge rock with seaweed, etc.

And you don;t have to be deaf to use sign language, I think it would be a great tool to have to use, and you can reach out to the deaf community and tell them your idea and you are not deaf, but know sign language. Great way to include deaf kids :)

And on a side note: It is never cool to try and be another race besides your own..Never goes well and always comes out racist. There are tons of mers in the world from every race, religion etc..so why do we need to pretend? Let's just be inclusive of everyone..after all we are all part of the HUMAN race :)

[theMerFanc]

Thank you Elle for sharing your story.

on the wheelchair discussion, I don't see how that could be offensive. Since mermaids aren't saying they are paralyzed or the like when they aren't. Wheelchairs are use by people who are in able to walk on their own and that applies to mermaids as well. It wouldn't be any different the. Ah man using a floatations device while swimming. Not Evonne has a wrangler to carry them from place to place.

[LouLouBelle]

As I said, I know nobody would want to upset anyone, but please believe me when I say it really could.

I'm going to try my best to explain why it could come across as offensive. This is probably going to be quite long, so apologies in advance!

For people who cannot walk at all, they use their chair for necessity. It could be hurtful to them to see someone using a chair as part of a fantasy costume. By putting on that mermaid tail, you're CHOOSING to not be able to walk. And you're doing it because you want to. Ie, for fun. And then you're using a piece of medical equipment as part of the dressing up game.

For someone who actually relies on that piece of medical equipment and probably hates it, that could look insulting. Whether you want it to or not. They'll be used to people ignoring them and overlooking them because they're in that chair. They'll be used to people talking to the able bodied person who's with them as if they're either not there or not competent enough to hold a conversation.

It's sad, but it happens. People in chairs are discriminated against all too frequently. I work with plenty of adults and kids who are severely disabled and rely on chairs and other pieces of equipment, so I've seen it all too often. It's honestly heartbreaking when someone thanks you for speaking to them throughout their appointment instead of their carer.

They'll also be used to facing real struggles trying to get around because they can't move without that chair. Public transport becomes a nightmare. Crossing the road can be nigh impossible if there isn't a pedestrian crossing - curbs and the speed of cars can cause real problems. Going to the bathroom in a public place can be difficult depending on facilities.

At the end of the day, wheelchairs are pieces of medical equipment specifically designed for people with disabilities, and these people will view them VERY differently to you or me. Seeing someone use one for fun... Could be insulting to someone who actually has no choice.

Yes, chairs can be extremely useful for someone in a mermaid tail, but that doesn't mean you're not going to upset people who actually need them and maybe hate them at the same time.

I've no doubts there will be disabled people who wouldn't mind at all, but there will be those who do.

I'd be much happier myself with a make shift cart rather than a specifically designed piece of medical equipment. I could never feel comfortable using a wheelchair like that when I know I don't actually need it.


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[LouLouBelle]

Reading through the threads my heart jumped a little when I saw a girl showing off her tails from a wheel chair, at first I thought "oh, someone else with problems walking" then I realised she was just using it because of course her legs were together and I know a lot of people use them for moving around on land but personally I don't like seeing it.

I've seen so much creativity and ingenuity on this site like lou lou belle said some sort of cart to move around on land could be great- side note for one new years eve party I had a friend who went out as pirate with a few others they converted a shopping trolley into a pirate ship full of booze! point being is there are possibilities that don't involve wheelchairs.

.

This.



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[Elle Dee]

thank you lou lou belle that's what I was exactly what I was trying to say.

[merwandering]

I agree- I just can't see a context where you'd have to depend on a wheelchair. If it is mermaiding for fun, why not put on your tail at the edge of or in the water? If it is professional, it just doesn't look magical anyway. I wouldn't use a wheelchair and it bothers me to see them used. It very much highlights the priveledge gap between disability and ability when- exactly what Lou said- you use something to facilitate a recreational activity with a piece of equipment that someone would give anything not to have to use. I have a family member who lost his ability to walk in the prime of his life, with four young children, a business he owned but that was very physical, it was such a production just to get out of the house and go somewhere. He slowly lost use of his hands- it became unsafe just for him to go around the block alone. He lost his independence, his ability to provide for his family, he eventually even needed to be fed- his mind was sharp as a tack, but that almost made it harder to lose his abilities. That chair represented so much loss, and I'm not sure how he would feel seeing someone repurpose it for a fun activity, but for me, I see it and it just feels like flaunting the priveledge of being able to decide to use the chair- and later take off the tail and no longer need it

[merwandering]

Flaunting is the wrong word- highlighting?

[merwandering]

I don't ever post here, mainly due to my disability. I have been lurking the forum for a while now. I'm on every day usually, never to comment. I have Schizophrenia. My mersona is from lake Erie, where many mers once lived. Then the humans polluted it so bad most of us died out. I was one of the survivors, but unfortunately, the toxicity of the city gave me a disability. Constantly paranoid of humans wanting to hurt me, hearing things they don't, seeing things they don't. Living in a world humans don't understand. My mersona helps me cope, actually. If someone is lucky enough to come across me swimming, it's even that much more magicalfor me and for them. For me, being able to see a human be nice to me. For them, seeing a mermaid.

i am so happy to see a mermaid with schizophrenia:)
and. I am excited to see you incorporate that into your story. I so much think that more openness makes a world of difference in terms of shifting social perspectives
thank you for sharing your story and your self!

[theMerFanc]

So I'm curious on your opinion. I am also a cosplayer and for awhile I have really wanted to Cosplay the Oracle from DC. She is one of the few DC characters I have ever had any interest in whatso ever. But as a non-chairbound person, is it offensive to cosplay a paralyzed character? Or probably a better known example would be professor X or Daredevil. Cosplaying a character with a disability without having said disability yourself.

[LouLouBelle]

So I'm curious on your opinion. I am also a cosplayer and for awhile I have really wanted to Cosplay the Oracle from DC. She is one of the few DC characters I have ever had any interest in whatso ever. But as a non-chairbound person, is it offensive to cosplay a paralyzed character? Or probably a better known example would be professor X or Daredevil. Cosplaying a character with a disability without having said disability yourself.

That's something a lot of people wouldn't think about, but yes, I think it definitely could be. At least, for people who need a chair and see it as a necessary evil. Again, you're using a piece of medical equipment that they rely on in a game of dress-up. You're pretending to have a disability for fun.

Not every disabled person will feel that way, but some will.

In those cases, it would be much more appropriate to leave those roles to people who actually are disabled. That can go a long way in helping to include them in the cosplay community, and actually make them feel like they have a place there.


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[TheSaltySiren]

So here is my two cents on the cosplay thing.

I used to help run Anime North, I did it for six years and in that time I saw plenty of non disabled people cosplaying characters that were. Professor X was huge one year due to the X-men movies. No one ever had an issue, as they knew it was part of the cosplay. And said cosplayers never pretended they were actually paralyzed at all. That being said, this was all at a huge anime convention where attendee's generally know what to expect. Also there were a couple of cosplayers who were disabled and in chairs that cosplayed non paralyzed characters, etc. One of my staff was also chair bound and never took offence, and he even let me know he preferred to cosplay non disabled characters.

Like I said, I will be converting the wheelchair I have into a huge moving rock thing, so the chair won't be visible.

[Princess Kae-Leah]

I'm disabled, which is part of the reason why I'm one of the very few mers who cannot swim. When I first joined this community years ago, I felt extremely insecure and out of place here because of my inability, and due to that have always been pretty much on the forefront of advocating for a more inclusive mer-community. It's because of me that the wording of the mermaiding article on Wikipedia was re-edited to include mers who don't actually swim in their tails. There is a part of me that wishes I can magically swim like Hannah Fraser, but part of me likes that by being one of the very few non-swimmers on here I can help expand the horizons of swimming mers by promoting alternative activities to due in their tail and by encouraging others to have a more inclusive outlook. I try very hard to keep old insecurities from bubbling to the surface and dragging me under, but once in a while I feel sad when I see mer-events that require swimming ability, although I very much appreciate those companies like Raina's that offer packages that don't require swimming experience such as her totally awesome-sauce mermaid makeover photo packages. I started a thread in fact about the mers who inspire me as a "mermaid who only swims through the waters of imagination and meditation".

[Princess Kae-Leah]

I now have a mersona as a disabled mermaid:
Princess Kae-Leah is the lovely mermaid princess of the North Pacific Ocean with a sparkly purple tail in the same universe as Disney’s The Little Mermaid who just happens to have born disabled, unable to swim. Due to this, she generally leads a sheltered life, doted upon by her mother, Queen Gwendolyn, rarely leaving the palace of her kingdom and when she does, it’s in a seahorse-drawn chariot, the mer-world’s equivalent of a wheelchair. Although she is insecure about her disability, she tries very hard to compensate for it by studying very hard, especially languages and environmental science, hoping to one day rule her kingdom with her brain making up for her lack of swimming ability.
When Kae-Leah and her mother visited Atlantica on a royal state visit, she quickly becomes good friends with Ariel, who of course is very accepting of her disability, especially when she discovers that Princess Kae-Leah enjoys visiting the surface of the ocean as much as she does, because when posed on rocks above the water, all mermaids’ mobility is limited, no matter how good of a swimmer they are under the water, so it’s an equalizer! Ursula the Sea Witch attempted to take advantage of Kae-Leah’s insecurity by promising to grant her the ability to swim in exchange for stealing King Triton’s trident for her, but she declined, because as much as she’d love to swim, she refused to place the sea kingdom in danger.
Princess Kae-Leah hopes one day to find a merman who would love her in spite of her disability, but for the time being is grateful for the love and support of her family and friends.

[Takahao]

It completely slipped my mind to start posting earlier, but I've been caught up the past month with school work and stress, and general procrastination. I'm somewhat of an introvert, and just lose motivation to do anything and interact with anyone sometimes, and just want to sleep. Now to the post:

I suffer from Autism Spectrum Disorder (previously known as Aspergers), and am severely socially deficient. Honestly sometimes I feel like a complete outcast, as people judge and treat me unfairly based on my disability. I'm a decent person, and extremely kind and empathetic, but my ability to interact with others is completely shot.

I have to memorize patterns and social norms and standards, to function somewhat normally (me and my friends like to jest ourselves as daywalkers, because we're somewhat functional despite our shared disability).

But barely beneath the surface, once you have conversation with me, I lose almost all social functionality and drop my spaghetti. It's like my brain is a game of Fallout and out all my points in intelligence, leaving nothing for speechcraft. The only upside would probably be my severe ability to focus and learn information, which ultimately is due to the above cost. And it sucks. I also have crazy impulse control issues, to where I'll have to do something, regardless of consequences.

It's mostly minor stuff, I've never had a urge to harm or injure myself, at least one that I didn't think was normal and couldn't control myself to not act upon. I don't have a mersona yet, goodness knows how many fursonas, Bioniclesonas, and whatever I have to keep track of.

I'd like to have a mermaid tail, preferably a silicone one sculpted like a dragon's, but to do that I need money, a pool, and to know how to swim with a tail. As far as the physically disabled mers, push people to follow their interest, and support their love for this community and shared interest.

Treat them the same as everybody else, and where their physical disability may hold them back, give your friend the extra inch they need to reach success, be it swimming with a tail, overcoming their disability, or drawing met-art. Let them be the representation, and help them to become examples.

As for the the people who use wheelchairs when they're in their tails, for convenience of movement, don't. Waddle over their, or have a friend help you. Being in a wheel chair, or using crutches sucks. I hurt myself doing parkour about 4 months ago (once again, impulsivity issues), and tore all the ligaments in my left knee. Because of the nature of the injury, (knee bent wrong way, rotated around when I fell and landed on it) it distributed the trauma across everything, luckily, instead of snapping my ACL or something.

But it hurt so bad to use crutches, I had to use a wheelchair, which just hurt my hands instead of my shoulders, back, and knees. I remember crying, and screaming and roaring, trying to build the strength and bloodlust that I needed to move. My walk home was agonizing, and turned from a 5 minute walk to a 30 minute walk, if my mom's friend was unable to drive me from the stop to my home. I wouldn't wish that on anybody, and I have complete respect and humility for those unfortunate to be permanently disabled.

Just please don't trivialize disabilities, and how they affect us. Don't think you have to set an example to help other people. Push, and guide them to become the examples themselves, for their own accomplishments.

[PearlieMae]

Hello there! I know this post isn't new, and I also didn't read all of the post, but I see the ones that I did read, that some people were against using wheelchairs as a mermaid since it's a medical equipment. Though I understand that, how would anyone really know the difference? I would be classified as disabled, and use a wheelchair part time. I have MS. And of course degenerative disc disease, and other issues because of it. But I still love swimming, while I still can. So I have a wheelchair, but don't always use it, in the event of a good day. Back to my question though, I use it as medical equipment, but I'd like to use it as a mermaid too. How would anyone ese know whether or not I'm disabled, and whether or not they have the right to judge me as a mermaid using it? Just curious, because I wouldn't want to offend anyone either, but I do really also use a wheelchair.

Since you are a medical equipment wheelchair user, are you offended that I am using a wheelchair as a mermaid?

My feeling is: Screw what other people think. I have a wheelchair to get around when I am in my mermaid tail. Someone gets all butthurt about it, well, that's their problem.

:mermaid kiss:

[Mermaid Fenicia]

I'm a wheelchair user as well, but most of the time I use it only when I'm a visitor at an event as I can't walk for very long time. But most people are used to see me as a dealer at some of the conventions that I attend and think that I'm to lazy to walk when they see me at other events using my wheelchair. :(

[Newbie_Mermaid]

Yea, ive had that feeling too, or at a store I go to often. Some days I can walk the store holding onto a cart, others I can't even walk from the door of my car to my trunk.people that see me often look at me like I'm lazy or just faking it. At first it hurt alot, but as I've gotten to talk to people and explain (thoigh I shouldn't have to) I've become more comfortable with myself. And it really is for my health and safety, so in that perspective I don't care what others think of me. :-)

[Princess Aegean]

My lovely bf uses a wheelchair due to an injury he had before we met. He's a pretty open guy, and I asked him about this. He said it wouldn't offend him, given the situation. If someone was using the chair as a necessity, like if there really wasn't a better way to get around (like if you had to get from point a to point b during a busy gig and it was too far to be carried and taking off your tail would ruin the appearance or something) he'd be more than cool with that and would probably make some sort of joke about him being a mermaid too. However, if someone was flaunting it or being inappropriate towards it in some way (which I doubt anyone here would), then he'd have an issue. To him it's just something that makes him able to live his life as normally as possible, and if someone else used one briefly due to necessity, he wouldn't find an issue. Now, he certainly isn't all wheelchair users and he's admittedly kinda nutty:p, but I figured I'd share his opinion on here. And Princess Kae-Leah, he now wants his own seahorse drawn chariot, so thank you for that. :lol:

[Newbie_Mermaid]

Haha awesome. I want something cool too! And I appreciate knowing I'm not alone in that thought cycle too. :-)

[Princess Aegean]

I think that's how it goes a lot of the time. People on the outside look at disabilities thinking they must be horrible all the time (and certainly there are people with that mentality), but for the most part the people who have to actually live with them and the people they're close to get over it fairly quickly. It's just a Thing, it doesn't mean that you can't have a normal life. Like, guys, just cause he's sitting down doesn't mean he hates everything in the world and just wants to stay in bed all the time. He's actually pretty active. People with disabilities do everything everyone else does, they just might have to modify it a bit. And then there's the whole other Dr Phil show of people saying things like, "oh, you're such a sweet couple to be together" and all that blah blah. Sometimes I sit down. Sometimes I stand up. Just because he doesn't do the latter doesn't mean squat about anything.

[Nerdmaid Faith]

I think that's how it goes a lot of the time. People on the outside look at disabilities thinking they must be horrible all the time (and certainly there are people with that mentality), but for the most part the people who have to actually live with them and the people they're close to get over it fairly quickly. It's just a Thing, it doesn't mean that you can't have a normal life. Like, guys, just cause he's sitting down doesn't mean he hates everything in the world and just wants to stay in bed all the time. He's actually pretty active. People with disabilities do everything everyone else does, they just might have to modify it a bit. And then there's the whole other Dr Phil show of people saying things like, "oh, you're such a sweet couple to be together" and all that blah blah. Sometimes I sit down. Sometimes I stand up. Just because he doesn't do the latter doesn't mean squat about anything.
That's so well put! I'm glad you are inputting your and his perspective on things.

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[Princess Aegean]

Aww, thanks! It's nice to be able to talk about it in a just factual way, that will actually benefit others.

[Mermaid Mia]

Hi there. Ive been reading through this thread as new stuff pops up and just wanted to offer my experience. I am not a wheelchair user in normal life (i do have some physical chronic issues but not really relevant to my mermaiding usually?). I have a wheelchair for convention events. I decorated it up so hopefully people would know that it is only for my mermaid use, I do not want to take away attention from wheelchair cosplayers.

The only reactions I have had from other people in wheelchairs have been extremely positive. Usually just a casual wave or shared gripe about the layout of a building. (Being in a chair really has opened my eyes to architecture in a new way. Seriously, who puts columns in a bathroom :/) But at my last event there was a young girl there who was attending her first convention. We had a long (like half hour) talk. She was really excited to see someone in a wheelchair even if not for medical reasons because she was worried she would stand out. We talked about cosplays she wanted to do and my experiences in a chair at bigger cons and i showed her Misa on Wheels (totally check her out). She was just really excited that someone could rock elaborate costumes in a wheelchair, that even the chair could be seen as beautiful.



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[Rebela Hunter]

I'm just now seeing this, Mermaid Mia, but that's such an amazing story! :D
That makes me less scared of being in a wheelchair to cart me in my tail !!!
<3

[MermanJohn]

I have autism if that adds on to this thread


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[telzey.amberdon]

Question for people with autism: would a mermaid tail substitute for a sensory body sock?

[Takahao]

I suppose it could, though my autism isn't severe enough to require sensory devices. But it is extremely calming. It's effectiveness would likely depend on the person's preferences, and the material of the tail.

[Mermaid_Namaka]

Hey, I'm new here! *waves hello* *pun intentional*
I'm disabled both in real life and as my mersona. I have a lot of issues, mostly mental health stuff like anxiety and depression. I have PTSD that makes me panic when I'm submerged in water and I'll legit pass out, so for now I'm a land mermaid. I built this into my mersona actually so I don't have to have awkward conversations, especially when so many people still think only retired military can have PTSD. My mersona was born without gills, so she was raised on land, and she isn't a good swimmer, so she doesn't go in the deep end. I'm still deciding if she has Autism (I do, and it's not something I can fake not having very well). I actually had to argue with this girl recently about getting a wheelchair for mermaiding. (She's a bully and finds any way to attack me, especially if it relates to mermaiding). I had to explain to her that I have issues (we are pretty sure it's anemia) during my periods where I'll get leg cramps from hell and be really dizzy and weak, and sometimes pass out. My current lack of a formal diagnosis of it makes my anxiety too bad to get a wheelchair for during that, but my brain accepts mermaiding as a reason, so finally gonna be getting myself a wheelchair. Def gonna decorate it mermaidy though. Not like a lot probably, but like I might paint shells or pearls on the sides or smt. I'm getting a silicone tail this summer and I'm so excited!!!

[Mermaid Bree]

This is a very interesting topic. It is also interesting how this ties in with the furry world as well! In fact, even Steampunk, Ren Faire, etc. My assumption is that the smaller 'community', besides being a LOT more open-minded and accepting, seems to serve a surrogate sense of 'belonging', which I myself tend to feel. And yes, I have physical and emotional limitations as well - Vestibular Syndrome, ie: vertigo, disequilibrium. Plus resulting depression and whatnot that sprang from that. (As well as family emotional dysfunction.) I would think (and also observe with my own self) is that we feel 'rejected' or in some way 'alienated' from the more typical world. (Which has a LOT of massive problems, so one has to wonder what IS better...!) My intuition tells me that is the case - we have a place where we can just *be*, whatever the particular flavor - furry, mer, or otherwise. A hybrid almost between a fantasy world, yet with strong elements still of reality. In other words, where we 'fit'... I love the observation that being in the water DOES afford one (especially with structural issues such as handicaps involving 'normal' function - walking, etc.) Water is a realm where one can be supported (boyancy, etc) and thus affords an 'alternate' world of functionality. I can also see where various mental aspects such as ASD, BPD, etc would feel less threatened or intimidated, thus allowing one to experience oneself in a more positive way.