Contemporary Families Discussion

[Mermaid Sirena]

I'm taking a class about human relations this semester and this week we talked about Contemporary families and our teacher showed us this as an example of what families used to be.

www.snopes.com/language/document/goodwife.asp (http://www.snopes.com/language/document/goodwife.asp)

I am wondering what everyone's opinion of families out side (and inside) of the traditional norms? Single Mothers? Gay/Lesbian Couples? Interracial? Traditional? So on and so forth, I just thought this would be an interesting subject to discuss and see other peoples view points about in an adult like manor which we should all be able to reach.


NO NAME CALLING OR DEROGATORY COMMENTS.

[New York Mermaid]

well I grew up with a large family, my mother was that is described as your typical "good wife" as described in the link above. But ive seen her hold in anger and agression all the way towards the end of the marriage. She had the "bite her toungue and move on" approach, in the end my parents got divorced the same year i got engaged. I've been through the entire court drama with both parents. In my opinion there is no such thing as a "good wife", because in the end from what came out from my mother was what i would decribe as pure hatred for my father who did nothing but work 2 jobs and tried to hold the family together with what little free time he had.

My husband looks at me as an equal spouse, we both pull our weight and help out each other and a few words are thrown around when we are unhappy with something or someone. We have a healthy relationship, which is interesting considering my husband was raised by a single mother. My older sister is married with 2 kids and a dog and is miserable, both are working parents and both have time together, yet she follows my mothers ideals of the good wife.. This is 2011 traditional families with the 2.5 kids and the "happy marriages" dont always exist. especially with so many teenage pregnancies, kids in foster care, the increase in domestic violence and also the divorce rate. As for Gay and Lesbian marriages, Well I know the bible and yes, it does say its wrong, but with our society and ever changing generations we have grown to openly accept change. To each their own I say, treat eveyone as an equal, it doesnt matter if their gay or married to a different race. I just think as time goes on, our views of a "happy family" changes and distorts to accept what is reality.

[MermaidCalliope]

I believe love in all forms is love, and that gay/bi/transgender people are PEOPLE and have the right to be just as happy or as miserable as the rest of us. Since I work on a hospital ward that serves a lot of VERY sick patients, it hurts me to see gay patients with their partner by their bedside, a partner they've been with for 40 years, and that partner has NO LEGAL RIGHT to make any decisions involved with that patient's care. One of my gay patients was on a ventilator and really just needed to be "let go" because they were suffering. Neither her partner nor her adult adopted child were allowed to make any decisions for her, because the child had been adopted in the partner's name. Instead we had to call the patient's aging mother, who had stopped talking to the patient 30 years ago because of her sexuality. Now I ask you... who is more of a "family member" in this situation? Who do you think is more qualified to say "this is what she wanted"? The life partner who had spent the last 35 years with the patient, for better or worse, regardless of the fact that they were never granted the rights of straight Americans, or the mother who had wiped her hands clean of her daughter 30 years prior and had had no contact with her since? I think the answer is pretty clear.

So that's my rant on the "legal" definition of family as related to the healthcare system, which may or may not have anything to do with what you were asking. Me personally, I'm straight, I have married parents and a large peripheral family of aunts and uncles, and a boyfriend that treats me as an equal, who also has married parents. So I guess I'm "normal" in that respect. However, because of our chosen professions (I'm a nurse, Mike's a middle grades education major) I will always make more than my future husband. And he's okay with that.

[AniaR]

Oh I learned about that in my family dynamic class!

"The Sissy Duckling" is a great book for young boys who may be gay or are just feminine about a boy duck who likes to do all the girl things, and his father is embarrassed about him. "Three to tango" is really good too.

In Canada we're more accepting and liberal with these things as far as gay rights go. So I've had many classes and seminars on supporting gay parents and their children in schools. Im learning lots, it's amazing.

My stepmother is a very traditional house wife and she rocks it. She stays at home, cooks, cleans, babysits, and home schools my sisters. it's certainly her calling in life and my family has a very nuclear family with my Dad as the head. It bothers me that their lifestyle is often judged and people make a lot of assumptions because they are amazing parents and have done wonders with the family.

My friend is a single Dad and is an amazing single dad at that. I have a friend who is engaged and they have 2 kids and she's planning on a 3rd before being married!

A family is a family. :)

[Princess Kae-Leah]

Don't forget about us asexual folks, Mermaid Calliope, the sexual orientation that few seem to know about but I assure you does exist!

[Mermaid Sirena]

@MermaidLana (http://mernetwork.com/index/member.php?23-MermaidLanai)i I defiantly agree with the more time goes by the more we change the more our views of family do as well. I suppose it's a given as nothing can stay the same forever.

@MermaidCalliope (http://mernetwork.com/index/member.php?5-MermaidCalliope) It is completely relevant! That's a part of the conversation that not many of us (defiantly not me) have a chance to see and I agree with you 110% wish they would hurry up and change the law regarding their legal right to wed :(

@AniaR (http://mernetwork.com/index/member.php?10-AniaR) It never occurred to me that by having a traditional family others would jump to conclusions about having the traditional Nuclear family. Everything around me always advertises it and is like it's the thing to do! Just a reminder no ones safe from being judged ^_^ I'm glad it works out for them though, as long as your happy and not hurting anyone that's all that matters!

@Princess Kae-Leah (http://mernetwork.com/index/member.php?73-Princess-Kae-Leah) No defiantly can't forget them ^-^ though I never really think about it, probably cause I don't know any one who falls into that particular group.

[Taniwha]

Whatever works for you is good :) If someone is living their life how they want to, and are happy, whether that's in no relationship, gay, straight, traditional or other then I don't think it matters. Life is complicated enough without making rules about how you can love someone. (Barring the obvious, like pedophilia or harassment!) My friend is having a civil union (same sex couples can't marry in NZ, but this is the same legally - some straight couples who don't like the religious association with marriage also use it) with her partner and her/their three children. How can that not be a family? :)