Mermaid Joie
07-15-2017, 02:18 AM
Hey Merfriends
I have been in and out a lot and hardly on mernetwork at all. But I want to get back to doing the things I love. To do that I need to get this out. I stopped making progress on my tail about 2 years ago dispite its near completion. I always lie to myself and say I will get to it this weekend and then I end up wasting time on Pinterest instead or reviving my tail thread. At first I lacked funds and I was really scared of messing it up but after practicing and acquiring materials for two more tails I realized something else was going on with me that was mentally blocking me from completing it. I think it stems from my personal fears. And partially because something happened that just seemed to confirm nearly all of them. I have kept swimming and practing tricks with my monofin in the pool at my college. It has been my personal reset button from stress and makes me feel amazing! so I would always bring it with me to swim after class. One day I brought it to chemistry lab I left it in the hall to be safe. Several of the TAs (mostly guys) started talking amongst themselves like "there is a mermaid fin out in the hall!", "There is a mermaid in this lab!" What should we do... blablabla Finally this one TA (lets call him turkeyfish) just yells out "Who's mermaid fin is in the hall?!?" And I didn't know if I was in trouble or not so I slowly and sheepishly raised my hand and then so the TAs started talking to me and asking questions and then the rest of the semester they made mermaid jokes and puns and I just became friends with all the TAs especially with turkeyfish because he was really funny and always helped me out in Lab. If we could just stop there that would be one of the sweetest memories I will ever have in college. But it didn't stop there. There was another guy in the class that we nicknamed "The Cringe" because he was creeping on me and standing way to close to me and said weird stuff to me sometimes. I became close friends with turkeyfish, but something was off and I didn't realize the extent of it until much later. He has very low self esteem so I tried to encourage him and build him up. I thought: "hey this guy has no friends so I'll be his friend and be nice and then he won't be so down on himself all the time." We started hanging out and he started coming to my bible study after the semester ended. But more weird things started popping up: He would find small weird things to discuss/argue about somethings that don't agree with my morals. His logic is kind of wonky. It would start off as a friendly discussion but then if we weren't in agreement he would get very negative or he would harshly argue with me. He cannot agree to disagree with tact. He was always very emotional so I got in the habit of just dropping stuff and not trying to argue so we could go back to goofing off. Eventually it got to a point where we were hanging out 2-3 times every week. I cannot drive (I am 23 my mother was abusive, controlling, and neglectful so I never finished learning) so turkeyfish was kind enough to drive me and then that turned into more hanging out. I suspected that he liked me and confronted him about it several times, when he started insisting on paying for my food or would randomly buy me things. I told him I wasn't interested in anything more than friendship and wasn't comfortable with that, and he would get upset and talk like he was just being nice and I was being mean for asking him to stop. I was really confused at this point, but decided to drop it. I have had very few experiences with guys growing up so I couldn't see what was going on.. I had Turkeyfish and another guy friend (we'll call him Cuddlefish and he his own story) over for a small party at my house (to hold my baby chicks that just hatched.) After we were done they randomly started fighting and turkeyfish pinned cuttlefish to the wall! (The Ridiculousness of that sentence eases my pain slightly X) this actually makes me want to cry) I tried to get them to both make up but Turkeyfish started mass texting Cuddlefish and saying all kinds of mean untrue things about him. I still chose to be their friends and just hung out separately with each of them. Another weird thing developed Turkeyfish started fishing for complements by saying bad untrue stuff about himself to get me to encourage/affirm him more, I had dialed back over time (about a year.) Turkeyfish didn't tell me that he actually did like me until I announced that I liked cuddlefish and we were going to start dating at which point he got very upset. He started saying that I led him on and all other kind of mean things and won't stop trying to argue or manipulate my words on social media.
I think that is enough of the story to make my point. Which is that I already attract weird, manipulative and controlling people. So I am afaid that if I draw more attention to myself at school with a tail, that more crap like this will happen. But that is the only place I have to practice.
I have read Fishy Business where it talks about merverts but how do I keep the '
strangely obsessed' out of my life? I can't even mangage it now! Blatent creeps I have no problem identifyiny like "the cringe" but there are other people that slip in under my radar like turkeyfish that just turn out to be manipulative jerks once you disagree with them. Does having at tail attract more weird people like this than the average person?
Obviously I still have a lot to learn in this department so I am open to any and all feedback though I mostly worked out the incident by talking with my dad and bible study leaders.
Sent from my VS988 using MerNetwork mobile app (http://r.tapatalk.com/byo?rid=95032)
I have been in and out a lot and hardly on mernetwork at all. But I want to get back to doing the things I love. To do that I need to get this out. I stopped making progress on my tail about 2 years ago dispite its near completion. I always lie to myself and say I will get to it this weekend and then I end up wasting time on Pinterest instead or reviving my tail thread. At first I lacked funds and I was really scared of messing it up but after practicing and acquiring materials for two more tails I realized something else was going on with me that was mentally blocking me from completing it. I think it stems from my personal fears. And partially because something happened that just seemed to confirm nearly all of them. I have kept swimming and practing tricks with my monofin in the pool at my college. It has been my personal reset button from stress and makes me feel amazing! so I would always bring it with me to swim after class. One day I brought it to chemistry lab I left it in the hall to be safe. Several of the TAs (mostly guys) started talking amongst themselves like "there is a mermaid fin out in the hall!", "There is a mermaid in this lab!" What should we do... blablabla Finally this one TA (lets call him turkeyfish) just yells out "Who's mermaid fin is in the hall?!?" And I didn't know if I was in trouble or not so I slowly and sheepishly raised my hand and then so the TAs started talking to me and asking questions and then the rest of the semester they made mermaid jokes and puns and I just became friends with all the TAs especially with turkeyfish because he was really funny and always helped me out in Lab. If we could just stop there that would be one of the sweetest memories I will ever have in college. But it didn't stop there. There was another guy in the class that we nicknamed "The Cringe" because he was creeping on me and standing way to close to me and said weird stuff to me sometimes. I became close friends with turkeyfish, but something was off and I didn't realize the extent of it until much later. He has very low self esteem so I tried to encourage him and build him up. I thought: "hey this guy has no friends so I'll be his friend and be nice and then he won't be so down on himself all the time." We started hanging out and he started coming to my bible study after the semester ended. But more weird things started popping up: He would find small weird things to discuss/argue about somethings that don't agree with my morals. His logic is kind of wonky. It would start off as a friendly discussion but then if we weren't in agreement he would get very negative or he would harshly argue with me. He cannot agree to disagree with tact. He was always very emotional so I got in the habit of just dropping stuff and not trying to argue so we could go back to goofing off. Eventually it got to a point where we were hanging out 2-3 times every week. I cannot drive (I am 23 my mother was abusive, controlling, and neglectful so I never finished learning) so turkeyfish was kind enough to drive me and then that turned into more hanging out. I suspected that he liked me and confronted him about it several times, when he started insisting on paying for my food or would randomly buy me things. I told him I wasn't interested in anything more than friendship and wasn't comfortable with that, and he would get upset and talk like he was just being nice and I was being mean for asking him to stop. I was really confused at this point, but decided to drop it. I have had very few experiences with guys growing up so I couldn't see what was going on.. I had Turkeyfish and another guy friend (we'll call him Cuddlefish and he his own story) over for a small party at my house (to hold my baby chicks that just hatched.) After we were done they randomly started fighting and turkeyfish pinned cuttlefish to the wall! (The Ridiculousness of that sentence eases my pain slightly X) this actually makes me want to cry) I tried to get them to both make up but Turkeyfish started mass texting Cuddlefish and saying all kinds of mean untrue things about him. I still chose to be their friends and just hung out separately with each of them. Another weird thing developed Turkeyfish started fishing for complements by saying bad untrue stuff about himself to get me to encourage/affirm him more, I had dialed back over time (about a year.) Turkeyfish didn't tell me that he actually did like me until I announced that I liked cuddlefish and we were going to start dating at which point he got very upset. He started saying that I led him on and all other kind of mean things and won't stop trying to argue or manipulate my words on social media.
I think that is enough of the story to make my point. Which is that I already attract weird, manipulative and controlling people. So I am afaid that if I draw more attention to myself at school with a tail, that more crap like this will happen. But that is the only place I have to practice.
I have read Fishy Business where it talks about merverts but how do I keep the '
strangely obsessed' out of my life? I can't even mangage it now! Blatent creeps I have no problem identifyiny like "the cringe" but there are other people that slip in under my radar like turkeyfish that just turn out to be manipulative jerks once you disagree with them. Does having at tail attract more weird people like this than the average person?
Obviously I still have a lot to learn in this department so I am open to any and all feedback though I mostly worked out the incident by talking with my dad and bible study leaders.
Sent from my VS988 using MerNetwork mobile app (http://r.tapatalk.com/byo?rid=95032)