Merfolk Writer's Guild

[Merman Dylan Zalrian]

This thread is for the exchange of ideas related to merfolk and story telling.

Topics for Example
1. Merfolk appearance in stories
2. Conversations about stories that exist that involve merfolk
3. Things we wish were in stories about merfolk
4. Merfolk story clichés
5. What's over done and what we don't see enough of.
6. Short Stories we write or other writing material we wish to receive feedback on.
7. Peer review of short stories to help each other improve. (Negative Feedback is not welcome, but constructive feedback is.)
8. Things we do to get past Writer's Block.
9. Environments in stories with merfolk.
10. Magic Vs Science Fiction

As this thread increases in use, new topics may present themselves that I have not currently thought of.

[Merman Dylan Zalrian]

To start, I wanted to share the story I've been working on. I've been working on my Wayward Tides Series. I'm close to finishing chapter 4. One of my focuses for the story is the world it takes place in. I've spent years planning and working out a world that is alive and vivid where merfolk can take a major role in. Merfolk are beings of the sea. One thing I've always wondered about is how writers like Tolkien who wrote stories involving elves, humans, goblins, dwarves, and etc. never used merfolk. I mean, Elves live in the Forest, Humans live on the land, Dwarves live in mountains, Dragons can live in Volcanos, but the Merfolk are like a perfect representation of any race that lives in the sea. The ocean is such a vast environment with features that are much like what you find on land. I never understood how merfolk never took a more prominent spot light with everything you have to work with in the sea. So, that's what thing I decided to create. I decided to create a story with a strong underwater world. I wanted to create a story to show that merfolk could be a serious race to contend with in a fictional story.

There are also a number of mythical sea creatures from island tortoises or whales to krakens to leviathans to elementals to merfolk type sirens to cancer the crab to sea scorpions (an actual prehistoric creature I've seen used to great effect in Sci Fi most notably the Sea Scorpion fighting a Vampire Squid in Sanctuary) to a vast number of things that I couldn't possibly list out entirely in one thread post. There are also real sea creatures that are as mysterious and impressive as creatures from myth. You have Colossal Squid with huge eyes and hooks in every suction cup, Jelly Fish (Some have eyes and others are almost immortal), Sharks that can navigate the magnetic field of the planet and sharks that were big enough to eat whales, Crabs and Lobsters that can feel the vibrations in the earth and react to them, and so many more creatures with incredibly impressive behaviors.

As for landscapes, you have Kelp Forests, Sea Mounts, Reefs, Underwater Volcanos, the Abyssal Plain, the Trenches, and underwater cliffs at the continental drop offs. The landscape underwater is just as impressive as the landscape on land. It has everything it needs to exist as a world of its own.

So, I don't know why merfolk don't appear in more stories. They are a mythical creature imagined for this vast underwater world. I partly think that certain public impressions of merfolk regarding sexuality and gender have made it easy for people to disregard them. That's a topic in another thread though. I will say this. JK Rolling, Disney, Nickelodeon, and Netflix to name a few have had merfolk appear in TV Shows, Movies, and Books, and they are incredibly successful. Harry Potter Goblet of Fire has merfolk appear, Disney is a given with Ariel and the Thirteenth Year, I believe Nickelodeon first aired H2O, and Netflix picked up the H2O Spin Off Mako Mermaids. So, my point is that merfolk aren't without success in media, so I still don't understand how they don't appear in more places.

I'm not sure about other areas, but I know that Aqua Man and the DC Universe including some Wonder Woman Comics, Miranda, and even more have merfolk and other people of the sea. I've seen stories even break merfolk up into different groups with the more Fish like ones, humanoid ones, and the classic half fish and half human all existing in one story. Some stories have half merfolk that can go from legs to tail while other stories have merfolk that can gain human legs at will. In the Gates of Atlantis Series, the half merfolk are either merfolk with human appearance and can breathe underwater or they are merfolk with the ability to have a tail and not breathe underwater. Other stories like Pearl Tail involve merfolk that can't gain legs without wishing for it. Mermaids grant wishes in that story.

So, finally, I really want this to be thread about the different merfolk stuff in stories we've seen or read and how things vary from one story to the next.

[Odette]

great idea!

[BlueCorvidae]

I don't call myself a writer because I've never finished a writing project, but I do read up on writing advice and make attempts at NaNoWriMo every year. One of my favorite sites to go to for advice is springhole.net. There's even a page about writing merfolk!

http://springhole.net/writing/things-to-think-about-and-consider-when-writing-merpeople-and-mer-fiction.htm

[Merman Dylan Zalrian]

I don't call myself a writer because I've never finished a writing project, but I do read up on writing advice and make attempts at NaNoWriMo every year. One of my favorite sites to go to for advice is springhole.net. There's even a page about writing merfolk!

http://springhole.net/writing/things-to-think-about-and-consider-when-writing-merpeople-and-mer-fiction.htmThank you for sharing the advice.

As soon as I get the chance, I'll share some of my own writing sources.

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[Merman Dylan Zalrian]

While I have not had a chance to buy and finish reading his books, I find his writing tips very helpful.

http://www.danielarenson.com/FantasyWritingTips.aspx

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[Merman Dylan Zalrian]

A cliche that has always been a challenge to overcome is merfolk transformation. Nearly all, if not all, stories seem to have merfolk that become human.

For example, The Little Mermaid, Splash, and the Thirteenth Year all set a standard in which someone who thinks they are human becomes a merperson or a merperson becomes human. This is seen in H20 and Mako Mermaids.

I have read in stories something different, however. In a fictionpress story, a Merman lead character can have legs, but he has the physical characteristics of a fish. In another book in the Gates of Atlantis Series. A Merman gets pulled through a gate and into the human world on accident. He can shapeshift his tail into legs, but in the dry heat, his skin dries out and blisters. In another book series, Mer Tail, the merfolk can not get legs naturally. A wish must be made to a mermaid. In my story, enchanted accessories can allow a merperson to have legs, but their scales remain, and their feet are webbed and their ears retain the fins they have as a merperson.

It does seem to be a challenge to write merfolk into a story, in which their are other races like dragons, sylphs, humans, and etc, that don't have some ability to go on land.

Maybe the best way to combat this cliche is to have merfolk that can gain the ability to go on land without making them too human.

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[Agent Dragon]

Maybe the best way to combat this cliche is to have merfolk that can gain the ability to go on land without making them too human.

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I've been considering this! I'm currently outlining a fantasy story where in of the characters is a half-merman, so he has legs outside of water and a tail when submerged, which is nice for him because in this fantasy world there is a lot of discrimination against merfolk. Unfortunately, he gets a lot of stares and rude comments even when he's in his "human" form because he still looks really fish-like (webbed hands, fins on his arms, etc).



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[Merman Dylan Zalrian]

In my world, merfolk have illusion magic they can use to hide their fish like parts from humans that lack magical potential when they take on human form. In fact, only humans lack the ability to see through the illusion. However, some humans with the potential to use magic can see through it. In my story, an ancient conflict created a divide between the four major races. So, hiding from humans is essential.

That being said, the only common reason a merperson would go on land in my story would be because they had to.

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[Merman Dylan Zalrian]

I've been considering this! I'm currently outlining a fantasy story where in of the characters is a half-merman, so he has legs outside of water and a tail when submerged, which is nice for him because in this fantasy world there is a lot of discrimination against merfolk. Unfortunately, he gets a lot of stares and rude comments even when he's in his "human" form because he still looks really fish-like (webbed hands, fins on his arms, etc).



Sent from my iPhone using TapatalkI'd love to read it when it becomes available.

Another part of the cliche that I've been hoping to overcome is the reason for transforming. I feel like a lot of merfolk stories involve a transformation to be with someone. Of course, a transformation implies a change from merfolk to human. I think the shape shifting route is better. I also have been trying to think of alternatives to why they would change their tails into something like legs.

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[Mermaid Kane]

I'm writing a story myself! I'm going a little non-traditional.

*The meris (mermaid) in the story is a freshwater specimen, and lives alone.
*The merrs in the story don't have the extravagant buildings and tools and beds that they do in most books, nor do they have values the same as humans.
*THEY CAN'T TALK, THANK GODS. They sign with movements, or click and whistle. It's so DUMB when merrs talk underwater...
*No transforming. At all.
*No inter fresh/salt water merrs, lol.
*Lots of merr-made words. xD

[Merman Dylan Zalrian]

I'm writing a story myself! I'm going a little non-traditional.

*The meris (mermaid) in the story is a freshwater specimen, and lives alone.
*The merrs in the story don't have the extravagant buildings and tools and beds that they do in most books, nor do they have values the same as humans.
*THEY CAN'T TALK, THANK GODS. They sign with movements, or click and whistle. It's so DUMB when merrs talk underwater...
*No transforming. At all.
*No inter fresh/salt water merrs, lol.
*Lots of merr-made words. xDThat's awesome. I like fantasy and fiction and magic, so for me, merfolk talking underwater and not 100% realistic based on science is fine for me. However, I can definitely appreciate the more realistic version of a merperson.

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[Triton-Mahtlinnie]

I think the cliche I'm most tired of is the one of teenage girls getting turned into mermaids. (Presumably because the majority of merfolk novels are YA. Not that there's anything wrong with that, but wow is there a lot of it). So I'm working on something where a Ship's engineer in his 30's gets turned into a merman when his ship sinks. Just to do something different.

On the mer-into-human route, I went with the idea that merfolk are experts at making potions. One of which allows merfolk to grow legs when on land. Of course, it's not something that all merfolk choose to take. (And another bottle, of course, causes people become merfolk)

[Mermaid Kane]

I think the cliche I'm most tired of is the one of teenage girls getting turned into mermaids.

Yeah... PLEASE.

Also don't like how people think mermaids would realistically never eat fish, and stop fishermen. Like, what the hecky? I'm pretty sure a mer's diet would consist of 50% fish, and the other half would be sea plants or fish eggs. Idk. And I'm not sure a real life mermaid would really care that much about fishermen the more people say. I think they'd care because it's less food for them, but who knows? Mermaids aren't real.

[Agent Dragon]

Also don't like how people think mermaids would realistically never eat fish, and stop fishermen. Like, what the hecky? I'm pretty sure a mer's diet would consist of 50% fish, and the other half would be sea plants or fish eggs. Idk. And I'm not sure a real life mermaid would really care that much about fishermen the more people say. I think they'd care because it's less food for them, but who knows? Mermaids aren't real.

THANK YOU


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[Aurelian]

Honestly, I think the whole "become a mermaid when you touch water" thing is overdone. There are people who can pull it off and make an amazing, unique story with it, but it still feels like whenever someone wants to make a mermaid series nowadays that's the first thought that comes to their mind, It's always the same technical stuff too: Due to some weird encounter, whenever three people touch any amount of water, they grow a tail until they dry off. There's little to no apparent side effects besides maybe powers. And somehow, they're able to successfully keep their secret for ages, despite the fact that they wouldn't be able to drink water or step out into the rain without transforming. Seeing new spins on stories is definitely a relief to me.

[Mermaid Kane]

A party raft was slowly making its way downstream, loud music played, muffled by the water, and some people were obviously having a good time. The merr swam below it, too far to be seen, hoping for a few food scraps to fall by chance. Occasionally, a hand would reach into the water, playing around, or maybe a foot. People loved touching water.
A small while passed, and no food scraps came. Cirrus was about to swim off to continue the search was she heard roaring. She suddenly remembers the rapids around the river's corner. Stress and panic filled her chest. If the party boat went down, the search people would come and mess everything up, maybe find evidence of the merrs' existence there, and try to catch some.
Cirrus circled the craft a few times, seeing if anyone noticed the rapids and rocks ahead. Of course not. The meris lunges straight up, bumping the bottom of the boat. It tilts to one side slightly, and she hears the satisfying result of ''what was that'' 's . Then yelling. Someone went to the back, trying to fire up the motor, but it was already scraping the rocks that started to jut from the riverbed.
Cirrus signed a cuss, and waited for disaster to strike. Maybe she could even just eat the people, and get something out of it.


This is a part of what I've written. As you can see in the bold, Cirrus really doesn't care about the humans' health, only reasons that would effect her. It's simply more ''realistic'' and less cliche feeling.

[Mermaid Kane]

Honestly, I think the whole "become a mermaid when you touch water" thing is overdone.
''...''
Seeing new spins on stories is definitely a relief to me.

Agreed. Or stories where some girl goes to live with someone else near water, and discovers her parent(s) were mermaids, blah blah blah.

[Merman Dylan Zalrian]

Mermaid Kane, you have an awesome idea. It could use a bit of editing, but artwork is never finished. Keep up the awesome work.

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[Mermaid Kane]

Mermaid Kane, you have an awesome idea. It could use a bit of editing, but artwork is never finished. Keep up the awesome work.

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Thank you! And I am totally planning to change and edit things. It's at a draft stage. ^^''

[Merman Dylan Zalrian]

My story isn't intended to be strictly scientific, and it doesn't take place anywhere on Earth because the World of Wayward Tides is a world I created with its own natural order. So, my mentality was and is to create a world excluding a LOT of stuff. Like if I had to explain it, there is no United States, there isn't any of the world history as we know it in our reality, and not everything in science can explain everything in the world this story takes place in. So, that's just kinda my mindset creating my world and everything in it. There is an element of magic.

http://www.patreon.com/posts/7876460

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[Merman Dylan Zalrian]

I wanted to think about...
What is the World of Wayward Tides? What is the history of the World of Wayward Tides? What are the Merfolk? What are the Sylph? What are the Dragons? What are the humans? What is the Umbra? What are the Fallen, Mortaran, Nightmares, and Corrupted? What are the Titans? What are the Origin Spirits? Who are the characters? And etc. I'm not thinking about anything else that isn't in the story.

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[Mermaid Kane]

Nice story! It's 7,000 words, so I can't finish it all right now. It's off to a good start, but there are some things you can change. You use words repetitively, so you may want to find alternatives to engage the reader.

[Merman Dylan Zalrian]

Nice story! It's 7,000 words, so I can't finish it all right now. It's off to a good start, but there are some things you can change. You use words repetitively, so you may want to find alternatives to engage the reader.I've been trying to fix that. Thanks for letting me know.

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[Mermaid Kane]

I've been trying to fix that. Thanks for letting me know.

Sometimes, it's a tough issues. I mean, there are only so many words for ''water'', or ''light''. It get HARD sometimes.

[Merman Dylan Zalrian]

Sometimes, it's a tough issues. I mean, there are only so many words for ''water'', or ''light''. It get HARD sometimes.The "light blue" is used twice in the first paragraph to describe the color of Dylan Tidalian's ear fins and tail. I'm not sure how I can not repeat that.

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[Merman Dylan Zalrian]

I did notice some other things, but I need to do homework.

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[Mermaid Kane]

The "light blue" is used twice in the first paragraph to describe the color of Dylan Tidalian's ear fins and tail. I'm not sure how I can not repeat that.

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''crystal colored''? baby blue? Dunno.

[Merman Dylan Zalrian]

''crystal colored''? baby blue? Dunno.Not sure about those. The colors are the same for ear fins and the tail...light blue refers to a lighter shade of blue... There are many different names for different shades... The problem with crystal colored is that crystals can be any color of the rainbow and baby blue is specific but does not leave much to the imagination. Light blue is vague and descriptive enough to allow someone to imagine his tail and fins.

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[Mermaid Kane]

Not sure about those. The colors are the same for ear fins and tail...light blue refers a lighter shade of blue... There are many different names for different shades... The problem with crystal colored is that crystals can be any color of the rainbow and baby blue is specific but does not leave much to the imagination. Light blue is vague and descriptive enough to allow someone to imagine his tail and fins.

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Mkay.

[Merman Dylan Zalrian]

Mkay.I may need to think about it.

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[Merman Dylan Zalrian]

Mermaid Kane. Even if it doesn't look like I value your opinion, I do. My biggest problem right now is having the time to make ANY changes.

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[Merman Dylan Zalrian]

My greatest challenge might be that those descriptive words, whatever they may be, will be repeated regardless.

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[Merman Dylan Zalrian]

It's a lot to think about.

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[Mermaid Kane]

Mermaid Kane. Even if it doesn't look like I value your opinion, I do. My biggest problem right now is having the time to make ANY changes.

That's not the impression I got at all! Sorry if I sounded sarcastic, I just didn't have much more to say. ^^''
There a ton of things to think about when writing a book, so much so that I am scrapping my entire old idea to remake one that has more moral plot and value then just an interesting fictional book.

I wish you good luck!

[Merman Dylan Zalrian]

That's not the impression I got at all! Sorry if I sounded sarcastic, I just didn't have much more to say. ^^''
There a ton of things to think about when writing a book, so much so that I am scrapping my entire old idea to remake one that has more moral plot and value then just an interesting fictional book.

I wish you good luck!Thank you.

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[Triton-Mahtlinnie]

I had the idea of merfolk being rescue divers and salvors, who respond when a ship sinks and rescue passengers. Then groups go in and negotiate with the ship owners to salvage the wreckage. It's set in the Seattle area in an alternate 1920's (where people know merfolk exist) One conflict is the fact that the merfolk, though they can grow legs, don't see the point in clothes. The humans are rather scandalized.

- the scene where the main character is turned, if anyone is curious.

"Marguerite settled on the bottom with a horrible crunch, her hull crumpling with the impact. And then, everything was silent. It was almost peaceful, watching the chairs float through the swirling waters in the salon. Ezra’s lungs burned, begging for air, and his vision began to blacken at the corners. So this was the end.

There was sudden movement from the other end of the salon, and Ezra felt arms grab him around his chest. Was he being saved? Who would save him?

Something pressed against his lips and Ezra involuntarily inhaled, the liquid burning as it went down his throat. It was like a fire spread through his limbs, then turned to ice. Ezra took another breath and clarity suddenly rushed back into his vision. He could breathe again, somehow, and the water became crystal clear to his eyes. He saw a flash of bright blue scales and black hair before he passed out. "

[Merman Dylan Zalrian]

I had the idea of merfolk being rescue divers and salvors, who respond when a ship sinks and rescue passengers. Then groups go in and negotiate with the ship owners to salvage the wreckage. It's set in the Seattle area in an alternate 1920's (where people know merfolk exist) One conflict is the fact that the merfolk, though they can grow legs, don't see the point in clothes. The humans are rather scandalized.

- the scene where the main character is turned, if anyone is curious.

"Marguerite settled on the bottom with a horrible crunch, her hull crumpling with the impact. And then, everything was silent. It was almost peaceful, watching the chairs float through the swirling waters in the salon. Ezra’s lungs burned, begging for air, and his vision began to blacken at the corners. So this was the end.

There was sudden movement from the other end of the salon, and Ezra felt arms grab him around his chest. Was he being saved? Who would save him?

Something pressed against his lips and Ezra involuntarily inhaled, the liquid burning as it went down his throat. It was like a fire spread through his limbs, then turned to ice. Ezra took another breath and clarity suddenly rushed back into his vision. He could breathe again, somehow, and the water became crystal clear to his eyes. He saw a flash of bright blue scales and black hair before he passed out. "That sounds like an awesome story!!!

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[Keiris]

Indeed it does, Exdraghunt!!!

[Merman Dylan Zalrian]

I had the idea of merfolk being rescue divers and salvors, who respond when a ship sinks and rescue passengers. Then groups go in and negotiate with the ship owners to salvage the wreckage. It's set in the Seattle area in an alternate 1920's (where people know merfolk exist) One conflict is the fact that the merfolk, though they can grow legs, don't see the point in clothes. The humans are rather scandalized.

- the scene where the main character is turned, if anyone is curious.

"Marguerite settled on the bottom with a horrible crunch, her hull crumpling with the impact. And then, everything was silent. It was almost peaceful, watching the chairs float through the swirling waters in the salon. Ezra’s lungs burned, begging for air, and his vision began to blacken at the corners. So this was the end.

There was sudden movement from the other end of the salon, and Ezra felt arms grab him around his chest. Was he being saved? Who would save him?

Something pressed against his lips and Ezra involuntarily inhaled, the liquid burning as it went down his throat. It was like a fire spread through his limbs, then turned to ice. Ezra took another breath and clarity suddenly rushed back into his vision. He could breathe again, somehow, and the water became crystal clear to his eyes. He saw a flash of bright blue scales and black hair before he passed out. "Your story falls into the category of something I want to see more of.

Merfolk are always becoming human. Correct me if I'm wrong, but it appears the human is becoming a mer.

My story has a possible character that becomes a mer, but what I'm trying to avoid is the whole transformation thing from human to mer and vice versa. That's another thing I want to see more of in story.

However, from what I read, you have an awesome idea with elements I wish were in more stories.

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[Merman Dylan Zalrian]

Another cliche that bugs is the humans don't know merfolk exist.

In the World of Wayward Tides, humans mostly think Merfolk, Sylph, and Dragons are myths. However, as much as they think they aren't real, the human race in large part wonders if that is true. The story starts after multiple ages of encounters between humans and the other races. So, humans have ancient ruins like Greece or Egypt with evidence of past encounters with other races. They also have object of power left behind as well.

So even though humans haven't seen a merperson for a long time, they are still suspicious of their existence.

I also like the idea of humans knowing merfolk exist.

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[Princess Kae-Leah]

I've thought up a pretty detailed worldbuilding about biology, anatomy, and society of merfolk, although I admit that not all of my ideas are original. Some I've "borrowed" from online writers, and some of it is based on the Disney TLM universe and some of it is based on the fantastic Filipino telenovela "Dyesebel". Feel free to use any of this in any of your writing, as I intend this to be something of an "open source" kinda thing.
Chapter One: Biology and Anatomy of Merfolk
Merfolk biology is quite unique, complex, and fascinating, as despite physically resembling half-human, half-fish hybrids, they are actually very special and magical aquatic creatures that have evolved over millions of years to function in ways that vaguely resemble certain species of reptiles, amphibians, and fish, but is in fact quite different from just about any other known living being.
Merfolk come in various shapes and sizes, with every eye, skin, and tail color imaginable, and can live for as long as a thousand years and generally physically stop aging in their mid-thirties. When a mermaid or merman dies, their bodies transform into sea foam. Because of that, "foaming" is a commonly used synonym for death among them.
They are able to breathe underwater through tiny gill slits on the back of their necks, which is usually covered by their long, thick, luxurious hair. If they are out of the water for a number of hours, they can die from dehydration, and some merfolk have a higher tolerance for dryness than others. Chlorinated water is very difficult for them to breathe.
When a mermaid or merman cries, their tears fall to the sandy bottom of the ocean floor, where they sometimes turn into colored pearls. Pink pearls are tears of joy, yellow pearls are tears of sorrow, and blue pearls are tears of fear.
A mertail is arguably much more elegant in appearance than any fish or marine mammal's fins. It begins right below their belly button, and is blanketed in delicate, colorful scales that shimmer in light. Instead of a single, broad tailfin like so many aquatic animals possess, their long appendage ends in a pair of semi-translucent flukes which appear almost too silky and billowing to be adequately hydrodynamic, but they are capable of swimming up to eighty miles per hour, holding their arms primarily to their sides and letting their flukes propel them forward in feathery, dolphin-like movements. Their vaguely ribbed texture suggests there is some kind of bone and vein structure.
The color of a mermaid or merman's tail is said to coincide with their personality. Merfolk with red tails are supposed to be energetic, confident, passionate, courageous, and strong, and at their worst can be aggressive, rebellious, obstinate, impulsive, and egotistical. Orange-tailed merfolk are said to be sociable, optimistic, enthusiastic, and cheerful, but can also be superficial, insincere, over-bearing, and self-indulgent. At their best, green-tailed mermaids and mermen are self-reliant, dependable, tactful, and compassionate, but they are also capable of being possessive, materialistic, over-cautious, and envious. Merfolk with blue tails are loyal, trustworthy, responsible, and peaceful as well as rigid, self-righteous, weak, and unforgiving. Purple-tailed merfolk are said to be very creative, intuitive, dignified, charismatic, and generous, but also can be immature, impractical, aloof, pompous, and highly eccentric. Mermaids and mermen with pink tails are often romantic, loving, warm, hopeful, and sweet at their best and naive, over-emotional, needy, prone to unrealistic expectations, and lacking in willpower and self-worth at their worst. A silver-tailed mermaid or merman is supposed to be soothing, glamorous, insightful, sophisticated, and gracious on good days and melancholy, indecisive, deceptive, moody, and snobbish on bad days. Gold-tailed merfolk generally have a good sense of self-worth and are incredibly popular with others, but can also be self-centered, demanding, mean-spirited, distrustful, and greedy. Merfolk with white tails are associated with innocence, purity, and fairness, but can also be overly cautious and critical. Black-tailed mermaids and mermen are said to be sophisticated, seductive, mysterious, independent, and determined, but can also be aloof, pessimistic, secretive, overly serious, and intimidating.

One of the most unique biological features of merfolk is the nature of their digestive system. Their spleen is on the opposite side of their body as humans, and their stomachs are much larger than a human being's as it contains six chambers that allow them to digest food much more completely. They also lack a large intestine because merfolk do not eliminate metabolic waste from their bodies the same way that humans and just about all other non-magical beings, including many of their fellow sea creatures, do. Instead, they odorlessly secrete excess nutrients through pores in their scales, almost like sweating. This is basically invisible to the naked eye, but if one put the water around a mermaid or merman into a microscope, they might see bacteria and such.
Part of the reason why their digestive system is so efficient is that they evolved to eat a very specific diet, which is primarily plant-based but is occasionally supplemented with small mollusks such as clams, oysters, and mussels. Large crustaceans such as crabs and lobsters and especially all kinds of finfish, however, are not eaten by them because not only are merfolk able to communicate with them and thus consider them something close to equals, but their stomach would be unable to process them, so they would only end up vomiting or coughing it back up.
As for the age-old question as to how do merfolk reproduce...well, that remains a complete and utter mystery to this day, although it is relevant to note that they obviously do indeed have mammalian breasts and belly buttons.



Chapter Two: Society of Merfolk
Unlike human society, which continues to progress both technologically and socially at an extremely fast pace, merfolk society has remained very much the same for countless centuries. While constitutional democracy is now the norm in many, if not most, places in the human world, merfolk kingdoms are still run as old-fashioned monarchies. Although the vast majority of mermaid queens and merman kings are very benevolent and fair rulers, there have nonetheless been occasional instances of tyrants gaining power.
Due to electricity obviously not working well underwater, there are no computers, televisions, or stereos in the mer-world, although magical "shell phones" are used in place of telephones. Even books and scrolls are relatively rare since it's pretty difficult to read and turn pages under the seas. The most popular forms of entertainment are oral storytelling and live concerts and theatre.
Music plays a particularly important role in merfolk society. While humans cannot speak, much less sing, underwater, the vocal chords of mermaids and mermen have specially evolved to work below the surface. Some kingdoms even use singing as the main form of speech. Almost all merfolk are good singers, but only some of them possess the dangerous magical ability of the "Siren", which means that they can, with the right training, use their beautiful singing voices to hypnotize just about anyone into doing anything.
As a species, merfolk possess incredibly passionate and loving hearts. When a mermaid or merman falls in love, they tend to love more truly and deeply than most mere mortals. They're essentially hard-wired to fall passionately in love only once in their lifetimes, which either means that they live happily ever after if their beloved reciprocates their feelings, or are doomed to never find romantic contentment if their affections are not returned. The only one who is always immune to the magic of a strong Siren is the one they love.

Another major difference between most human cultures and the culture of mermaids and mermen is their attitudes regarding clothing. Most mermen and some mermaids don't wear any clothing at all, other than perhaps a piece of jewelry or a hair accessory. While brassieres made of seashells, pearls, and seaweed are commonly worn by mermaids in some kingdoms, no one would ever be arrested for indecent exposure in the mer-world, as modesty is a human societal construct that most merfolk actually find quite hard to comprehend.

How merfolk view the human world varies depending on the kingdom and the individual. While all kingdoms have laws limiting contact with the surface world, some kingdoms' laws are certainly stricter than others. Some kingdoms encourage rescuing drowning humans, while others punish that with exile or worse. Many merfolk strongly resent the environmental destruction that humankind has wrought on the ocean and its creatures, but some are immensely curious about the world above the sea.

[Mermaid Kane]

I've thought up a pretty detailed worldbuilding about biology, anatomy, and society of merfolk, although I admit that not all of my ideas are original. Some I've "borrowed" from online writers, and some of it is based on the Disney TLM universe and some of it is based on the fantastic Filipino telenovela "Dyesebel". Feel free to use any of this in any of your writing, as I intend this to be something of an "open source" kinda thing.
This is awesome! I'm writing my own little ''tip guide'' myself.

[Satine]

I am in the bucket of I love to write but get easily discouraged and find it hard to beat writers block. I also seriously struggle with spelling, grammar, and punctuation. But some things I want to write are story's with modern day mermaids around modern day technology. Such as water proof cameras, iPods, and drones. I'd also like to ad into the story a real mermaid or merman meets people like us who put on silicone tails and swim.

Prob on stupid lol but it would be a change up !!!

[Satine]

Something I am struggleing with that I don't know how to get past. I want to write a story about modern day mermaids in our world, but I also want to do a Tolkien like story where I make a completely new and different world that has many different races includeing merfolk, but I also want to do a story in a different world with mer folk as the main role. But I can't pick between them.

how do y'all choose witch path to go down?

[Mermaid Kane]

Something I am struggleing with that I don't know how to get past. I want to write a story about modern day mermaids in our world, but I also want to do a Tolkien like story where I make a completely new and different world that has many different races includeing merfolk, but I also want to do a story in a different world with mer folk as the main role. But I can't pick between them.

how do y'all choose witch path to go down?
I personally keep switching and scrapping my work myself for this reason.... like DANG. Whoever answers her, answer me too. xD

[Agent Dragon]

Something I am struggleing with that I don't know how to get past. I want to write a story about modern day mermaids in our world, but I also want to do a Tolkien like story where I make a completely new and different world that has many different races includeing merfolk, but I also want to do a story in a different world with mer folk as the main role. But I can't pick between them.

how do y'all choose witch path to go down?

The real question is not "which one should I do?"; it's "which one should I do FIRST?" I find it easier to commit to a story if I remind myself that I don't have to pick a lone favorite and that the others are just on the back burner for now. As for what to do first... well, whatever gets you most excited is a good one to choose. Just remember to stick to it even when that excitement runs out. Keep writing!


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[Merman Dylan Zalrian]

Something I am struggleing with that I don't know how to get past. I want to write a story about modern day mermaids in our world, but I also want to do a Tolkien like story where I make a completely new and different world that has many different races includeing merfolk, but I also want to do a story in a different world with mer folk as the main role. But I can't pick between them.

how do y'all choose witch path to go down?
The best advice I can give is pick one and really focus on honing your skill. The best and most fulfilling ideas are the ones you create yourself.

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[Merman Dylan Zalrian]

As far as the Tolkien Route is concerned, I think writing a story like that takes an enormous amount of planning. For my story, I have three non-human races, Merfolk, Sylph, and Dragons. Now, for my story, none of these races are 100% like what you can find in a Google search. If you are curious about the specific details as the races are developed. Be sure to become a Champion of Seasafair at least.

You also have to think about history and lore. Every world has a past, present, and future. The World of Wayward Tides has multiple ages before the age the story takes place. For information on the world's history, become a Guardian of Marianous.

Since a lot about creating these worlds are perks for paying patrons, I can't really go into too much detail without cheating my patrons. That being said, I still want to help offer advice where I can. That's what I hope to do in this thread. Of course, have to limit myself for multiple different reasons.

Continuing with world building, you need to think about what your world has in it. Does it have Forests? Lakes? Mountains? Seas? Deserts? What are the cities like? Do certain races build cities while others don't build.

I can say that the Sylph and Dragons do not do a lot of building like Merfolk and Humans do.

How was your world created?
Do any of the races like or hate each other?

Merfolk are often wary of humans. Why?

Writing a good story takes time. You need to pace yourself and give yourself time.

A lot of these questions can be asked about merfolk in our world.

The nice thing about writing about merfolk in our world is that a lot of the world building is done for you. That really helps, but also prevents some of your own creativity unless you take certain liberties. Inside a world you create, you can decide on the natural order of things.

I will say that I get a lot of inspiration from certain stories and video games. There are some concepts that just give me ideas. I NEVER use someone else's ideas.

However, there are things like the lost boys from Neverland that represent children that never grow old. There's just something about that concept that helped me come up with a piece of what the Sylph are. The Sylph are essentially spirits. Their true form is similar to that of a human child. They never age and they have the ability to fly in their true form. Now, any Google search will tell you that Sylphs by definition are air elementals or spirits. The element of air is naturally associated with flight so it isn't me stealing the ideas from Peter Pan. The youth concept isn't exactly all about Neverland either. Sylphs are tricksters...

I could go on, but I think that is enough to give an idea about what can go into the creation of races like merfolk and etc.

It's important to think about what you want to create for the world you are making instead of using someone else's idea. My Sylph or Merperson might not be what your Sylph or Merperson needs to be.

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[Satine]

As far as the Tolkien Route is concerned, I think writing a story like that takes an enormous amount of planning. For my story, I have three non-human races, Merfolk, Sylph, and Dragons. Now, for my story, none of these races are 100% like what you can find in a Google search. If you are curious about the specific details as the races are developed. Be sure to become a Champion of Seasafair at least.

You also have to think about history and lore. Every world has a past, present, and future. The World of Wayward Tides has multiple ages before the age the story takes place. For information on the world's history, become a Guardian of Marianous.

Since a lot about creating these worlds are perks for paying patrons, I can't really go into too much detail without cheating my patrons. That being said, I still want to help offer advice where I can. That's what I hope to do in this thread. Of course, have to limit myself for multiple different reasons.

Continuing with world building, you need to think about what your world has in it. Does it have Forests? Lakes? Mountains? Seas? Deserts? What are the cities like? Do certain races build cities while others don't build.

I can say that the Sylph and Dragons do not do a lot of building like Merfolk and Humans do.

How was your world created?
Do any of the races like or hate each other?

Merfolk are often wary of humans. Why?

Writing a good story takes time. You need to pace yourself and give yourself time.

A lot of these questions can be asked about merfolk in our world.

The nice thing about writing about merfolk in our world is that a lot of the world building is done for you. That really helps, but also prevents some of your own creativity unless you take certain liberties. Inside a world you create, you can decide on the natural order of things.

I will say that I get a lot of inspiration from certain stories and video games. There are some concepts that just give me ideas. I NEVER use someone else's ideas.

However, there are things like the lost boys from Neverland that represent children that never grow old. There's just something about that concept that helped me come up with a piece of what the Sylph are. The Sylph are essentially spirits. Their true form is similar to that of a human child. They never age and they have the ability to fly in their true form. Now, any Google search will tell you that Sylphs by definition are air elementals or spirits. The element of air is naturally associated with flight so it isn't me stealing the ideas from Peter Pan. The youth concept isn't exactly all about Neverland either. Sylphs are tricksters...

I could go on, but I think that is enough to give an idea about what can go into the creation of races like merfolk and etc.

It's important to think about what you want to create for the world you are making instead of using someone else's idea. My Sylph or Merperson might not be what your Sylph or Merperson needs to be.

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are your books for sale on amazon? I'd love to buy them then talk to you about them. They sound awesome

i haven't had time to write anything In ages. So much has been going on in my life I really want to get back to it.

i love humans elves mermaids sprites Pegasus dragons dwarves and goblins, I have thought about what making my world will take.

I also like like the idea of a mer love story to.

[Merman Dylan Zalrian]

are your books for sale on amazon? I'd love to buy them then talk to you about them. They sound awesome

i haven't had time to write anything In ages. So much has been going on in my life I really want to get back to it.

i love humans elves mermaids sprites Pegasus dragons dwarves and goblins, I have thought about what making my world will take.

I also like like the idea of a mer love story to.My story is not complete, but chapters are available on Patreon for a monthly subscription fee plus tons of extra content depending on whether or not you pay $1, $3, or $5. Basically you get more access if you pay more, but I have plans for increasing the benefits on there like exclusive deals for patrons when I finish the book.

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[Merman Dylan Zalrian]

A chapter is public. I have 4 chapters posted.

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[Merman Dylan Zalrian]

My story isn't intended to be strictly scientific, and it doesn't take place anywhere on Earth because the World of Wayward Tides is a world I created with its own natural order. So, my mentality was and is to create a world excluding a LOT of stuff. Like if I had to explain it, there is no United States, there isn't any of the world history as we know it in our reality, and not everything in science can explain everything in the world this story takes place in. So, that's just kinda my mindset creating my world and everything in it. There is an element of magic.

http://www.patreon.com/posts/7876460

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This is the link to the public chapter. Only a limited number of chapters will be public.

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[Merman Dylan Zalrian]

I wonder what everyone thinks about prophecy.

In my story, dreams exist as a plane of existence. It's a realm within a larger realm.

In our world, Dreams are created by our hopes, desires, emotions, and other feelings as well as memories. Dreams can also be like premonitions for some.

In the World of Wayward Tides, a lot of this is true, but it also takes place in a realm called Solrisa's Dream. A greater dream filled with lesser dreams. Anyways, I have entertained the idea that dreams can reveal certain secrets or give a vision of the future.

What does everyone think about premonitions and prophecies in their stories?

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[Merman Dylan Zalrian]

Merfolk are beings of the sea. As such, they live in an underwater world. Something that fascinates me is how a world can divided up based on various elements. I'll use the World of Wayward Tides for example. The World of Wayward Tides is divided between land and sea. This is because the geography of the deep sea can have many similarities to the land. Now, there is also another realm in my story.
... The Realm of Sleep is a realm that is similar to the Physical World, but it exists parallel to it. I believe something that best describes how a dream is a realm is as follows. Our emotions and memories make up dreams. Existence is reality, and our emotions in a dream are real. What we see in a dream can often actually exist in reality if memories are relived.
These things are interesting in literature, video games, and other stories involving merfolk. Some merfolk have influence over dreams, while other merfolk simply dwell in a body of water without supernatural powers. Some merfolk can acquire legs and walk on land.
While people think of what kinds of merfolk they want to write about, I think it's important to think about the environments inside the world they exist in. What are their limitations in these environments? What kind of environments do you want to include in your story?
If a merperson can never walk on land, but the story centers around a merperson as a lead character, can you include any land environments in your story? If you can, how? If you can't, how will your plot be affected in only an underwater environment?
I could probably ask tons of questions about the development of writing a story with the various environments in the story. The point was to give examples of questions that can be answered. However, any questions related to the general idea here would be fair to ask. I'm curious about what everyone thinks.

[Mermaid Kane]

I usually prefer my merfolk in my writing to be a ''realistic'' species; no legs, no magic. I have sketches and drawings of the practical biology each species of merfolk might have/need to survive and thrive in it's habitat. For instance, my merfolk have axolotl-esque gills behind muscled ears with cartilage and membrane ''fin'' extensions to fan them (so oxygenated water can get to them).
My merfolk are also neutral towards humans. They don't have the social or moral essence of good and evil, and mostly consider their actions towards humans for a purpose. My merfolk don't care about ''saving the ocean''. They don't understand pollution. They do cut fishing nets/pots though... so they can eat the contents inside!
My merfolk are their own species; they do not consider themselves as humans or fish, just merfolk.

[Merman Dylan Zalrian]

It does fascinate me that so many people strive for the realism in writing.

My story is a fantasy adventure with magic and more. Personally, I've never favored the realistic mer over the fantasy mer. However, I still find the interest fascinating.

I do personally feel like the thing that makes a story truly great is an original idea that can stand on its own without following a formula strictly.

I feel like when you write your story. It can be whatever you want it to be. That is the beauty of writing your own original works and not relying too much on someone else's work.

My merfolk are essentially "People of the Sea". That's the meaning of merfolk too. As such, their normal form is the typical half human half fish. Under special circumstances, merfolk can gain legs, but their feet are webbed and the legs have scales. The ears still have the fins. They don't become human once they have legs. One of the sources of inspiration for me are video games like the Legend of Zelda.

Zoras also are fish like, but they are bipedal. There's also the creature from the black lagoon.

Similarly as a second example,

The Sylph were originally Wind Elementals or Wind Spirits.

In my story, the Sylph are spirits that appear to be children. Now, I originally planned for them to be fairies. However, they evolved with development. They look like human children for many different reasons. Deception and Trickery like some fairys in Fairylore, for example. They fly, but they don't have wings. They can fly because they are spirits of the Wind and Forest. They can morph into one particular animal of some kind.

Coming up with the Sylph was a challenge. However, Peter Pan helped inspire me. Something about how the Lost Kids and Peter Pan are so much more capable than expected because they are children, and the Legend of Zelda introduced the Kokiri that were actually partly inspired by Peter Pan too. Now, the Sylph in my story do not equal Peter Pan because the world and environment they live in is not Neverland. I'd like to think that a well developed world can benefit from starting with something you want and then altering them in development.

Back to merfolk,
You have the Creature of the Black Lagoon Style, The Fantasy Style, The Animal Planet Style, H2O Style, Disney Style, and etc. The way I see it, there is no wrong way to create merfolk. The most important thing is making sure things make sense within the context of the world and plot.

Hence the long post about the environments inside your world. A story that has a portion of it on land might actually benefit from merfolk that can change form or naturally have a bipedal form. Your world could also be a totally underwater world. In that case, changes don't matter.

Sometimes I wonder if you should decide on your world's environments before deciding on the kind of merfolk in your story.

Merfolk that can't change form will run into serious conflicts if the story puts them on land at some point.

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[Mermaid Kane]

There certainly isn't a ''wrong way'' to write about anything mythological. That's the beauty of mythology!
I just prefer writing about my mermaids the way I do.

I actually decided to redo my merfolk story. I have the deep need to write a merfolk book, though I'm not sure what about. I'm working on finding out exactly what kind of book I want it to be, then the scape, then the characters.

[Merman Dylan Zalrian]

There certainly isn't a ''wrong way'' to write about anything mythological. That's the beauty of mythology!
I just prefer writing about my mermaids the way I do.

I actually decided to redo my merfolk story. I have the deep need to write a merfolk book, though I'm not sure what about. I'm working on finding out exactly what kind of book I want it to be, then the scape, then the characters.
Well, I think your ideas are still awesome.

You have merfolk like in the World of Wayward Tidss with ear fins and a tail or merfolk in other works with arm fins. I mean, if someone wanted fins on their merfolk's ears I would not mind. It was an idea I decided to roll with after a commission anyways.
https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20170916/7f8b6525cf67e43051a13556c3fc89f5.jpg


You have Disney Merfolk, the Wayward Merfolk are similar in the sense that they can't simply gain legs. A special kind of magic is required to walk among humans.
https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20170916/cbfdaa0528ff8384181733b1e1e6ac55.jpg


There are also the Peter Pan Mermaids.
https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20170916/1c250fbad268af765a9511fbcad41099.jpg

The Animal Planet merfolk that logically fit within what would be realistically possible if they exist.
https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20170916/55f3910609be3addb90f2978cd689dae.jpg

The creature from the black lagoon possibility.
https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20170916/36f3cadbc894ff442de9e4fe166ab527.jpg

The Legend of Zelda Zora style
https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20170916/5c13f401036a0c4da965de397dfaa868.jpg

Even the Route 66 mermaid that looks almost entirely human but lives under the sea.
https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20170916/6a6049577093337c741c7dafcc3ccc5b.jpg

So, when you pick out what you want to do. I hope it helps to know the variety of different kinds of merfolk you can do.

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[Mermaid Kane]

I don't agree with categorizing merfolk, and saying "pick one". :) In my opinion, my merfolk aren't any of those. You'd have to see my drawings.

[Merman Dylan Zalrian]

I don't agree with categorizing merfolk, and saying "pick one". :) In my opinion, my merfolk aren't any of those. You'd have to see my drawings.

I just went back through and reread my comments. I didn't mean to say pick one. I was just trying to share some examples of different merfolk in different styles. I didn't share them because I think people should copy them. I shared them because I think that for anyone who might not be sure of what they want to do they can see some examples to help them organize their own ideas. Can you share your sketches? What I really want to try and share in this group is anything that could help people work out their ideas.

I hope it doesn't look like I'm ignoring your points. I'm adding some extra details to my responses.

[Merman Dylan Zalrian]

I recently created a playlist with merfolk themed music plus music specifically for while I'm writing. Music is how I draw inspiration for emotions and feelings in my story.

Wayward Merfolk: http://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLiX-4TIJ0PtmUzmPbyQ-vZD8RsZ8fYl1e

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[Mermaid Kane]

I just went back through and reread my comments. I didn't mean to say pick one. I was just trying to share some examples of different merfolk in different styles. I didn't share them because I think people should copy them. I shared them because I think that for anyone who might not be sure of what they want to do they can see some examples to help them organize their own ideas. Can you share your sketches? What I really want to try and share in this group is anything that could help people work out their ideas.

I hope it doesn't look like I'm ignoring your points. I'm adding some extra details to my responses.

Its history, Dylan. :) Don't worry about it. I was never upset.

[Merman Dylan Zalrian]

Its history, Dylan. :) Don't worry about it. I was never upset.
That's good. I still want to see the sketches.

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[MermanJamie]

I totally agree that the Mermaid Transformation thing is kinda overdone. And the whole "grow a tail whenever you touch any amount of water" as well. I think, however, if you are careful enough with it, you can pull it off.

There are some generic ones though. Whenever someone wants a mermaid to become a human, they basically just go for a similar plot to the little mermaid. And when a human is transformed into a mermaid it usually goes something like this:
Girl: Oh boy, what's this mysterious water?
(Touches water, grows a tail)
Girl: Oh, yay, I've always wanted to be a mermaid!

If you write your character well, you can make them realistic enough to make this desire to either become human or become mer believable. But this takes a lot of detail in their character. They need to be a deep character, so the reader can really understand their desire.

So I don't think a story is bad if a mer becomes human, or a human becomes mer, but it is a cliché, and there are generic examples everywhere.

[Merman Dylan Zalrian]

I totally agree that the Mermaid Transformation thing is kinda overdone. And the whole "grow a tail whenever you touch any amount of water" as well. I think, however, if you are careful enough with it, you can pull it off.

There are some generic ones though. Whenever someone wants a mermaid to become a human, they basically just go for a similar plot to the little mermaid. And when a human is transformed into a mermaid it usually goes something like this:
Girl: Oh boy, what's this mysterious water?
(Touches water, grows a tail)
Girl: Oh, yay, I've always wanted to be a mermaid!

If you write your character well, you can make them realistic enough to make this desire to either become human or become mer believable. But this takes a lot of detail in their character. They need to be a deep character, so the reader can really understand their desire.

So I don't think a story is bad if a mer becomes human, or a human becomes mer, but it is a cliché, and there are generic examples everywhere.
In the World of Wayward Tides or the world my story takes place in, merfolk don't change their species except under extreme conditions. Merfolk are able to obtain "legs" and become bipedal with the help of jewelry enchanted with a specific kind of magic. Their legs are covered with scales, and their feet are webbed. Their fins on their ears don't disappear. The only reason most humans don't see all the fishy bits is because merfolk can use illusion magic to blend in more on land. Only humans with natural potential for magic can see through it.

There is a reason the merfolk would want to hide from humans, but it's not because they think all humans are evil.

Anyways, even when merfolk become bipedal they are still merfolk. Outside of the water, merfolk are subject to much more harsh dehydration than humans. Their skin blisters, their scales peel, and etc like they would if they were beached with a tail. They need water to stay hydrated. They regain their tails if they are submerged in saltwater.

Gaining legs is NOT a normal ability, so they have to wear the enchanted jewelry to become bipedal.

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[Merman Dylan Zalrian]

The appearance of the Sylph in Marianous is also a special circumstance. The Sylph can't go underwater for long because they can't breathe underwater.

The World of Wayward Tides has a Plane of Existence called the Realm of Dreams. Inside the Realm of Dreams, the Sylph can freely roam any place that slumbers. The Realm of Dreams is a place of special circumstances.

I think the way I explained it to someone was that a single place, person, or thing that sleeps is like looking at many different reflections in a broken mirror. The Realm of Dreams is full of distortions and broken fragments. A merperson that ends up their wouldn't be able to realize that they aren't in the sea or on land because of how this realm tricks your senses.

The only way a merperson could become human is if they somehow passed through the distortions with only the fragments of themselves that was their human half or something like that. It's not something that would happen. It would be like your odds of getting struck by lightning. The Sylph have taken me so long to develop because they are the race that can most effortlessly interact with things in that weird Realm.

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[Merman Dylan Zalrian]

Creating Characters in Fiction
Characters are various kinds of people we create to tell a story. These characters are how we reveal the world the story takes place in. The purpose of a character is to tell the story. We, the Authors, do not tell the story. This idea of the character telling the story instead of the Author is the purpose for these instructions. The risk of the Author telling the story is our own biases and beliefs that might not be the biases and beliefs of the character. The characters are central to the plot. “Once you really know the characters, let them write the story. Place the characters into the setting of the story, and let them direct the flow. Remember this: Great characters drive the plot. Not the other way around.” (Arenson, 2007). There aren’t many specific degrees or extensive education requirements for imagining great characters. Typically, a passion for writing and a basic understanding of grammar is enough for any beginner. Don’t rush developing your characters. They are the ones that will reveal your world to the reader. Make them great, so that when the reader sees your world they see just how fantastic it is.


Recommended Tools
· A Computer
· Document Program like Microsoft Word
· Access to Internet document program
Warning!


· Creating a character can be done many other ways, but internet for research and a document program can make creating Character Outlines much easier.




Where your Character Lives
The environment of your world shapes the appearance and motivations of your character. Understanding the place they typically live in can help you decide what they look like. For example, someone who lives somewhere cold might wear heavier clothes while someone that lives somewhere hot might wear lighter clothes.
· Do they live in the sea?
· Do they live in the desert?
· Do they live in the arctic?
· Do they live in the forest?
· Do they live on a mountain?
· Do they live on an island?
Once you know where they are in the world, you can begin to identify what they look like.
What your Character Looks Like
Before you can put your character into a story, you need to know what they look like. The Character’s distinct physical features will be essential to know when you write your story.
1. General Questions:
a. What’s their hair color?
b. What’s their skin color?
c. How old do they look?
d. How old are they?
e. What do they wear?
f. What’s their eye color?
2. If they are a merperson:
a. What color tail do they have if they have one?
b. Do they have fins on their arms?
c. Are they bipedal?
3. If they are an elf:
a. Are they youthful in appearance?
b. Are they tall? Short?
c. What shape are their ears aside from pointy?
4. If they are a dragon:
a. What do their wings look like?
b. Do they have features of other animals?
c. Do they have wings?
These are examples of questions you can ask yourself to begin identifying what your character looks like. If you have access to the internet, you can research what these distinctive characteristics look like.
Your Character’s Character
Your character is more than what he or she looks like. A character has feelings and emotions. Some of the things they find important might not always be what you find important. They have their own character.
· Are they frequently timid?
· Do they lose their tempers often?
· Do they long to find someone that went missing?
· Do they know who they are or is everything made up as they go?
· Do they hunger for something that will never satisfy their hunger?
· Do they love someone?
· Do they hate someone?
· Are they oblivious to the most obvious things?
Characters have emotions and feelings. They have their own behavior that makes them stand out. However, it helps to bring their emotions to the next level. It’s not enough to want to see someone that went missing. The character needs to have their thoughts frequently fall back onto that person they want to see. It needs to be there inside them all the time, so that in a moment that they make a tough decision it can influence it. The character’s character is their own identity like any person has their own identity.
Character Motivation
Now you know where your character lives, you know how their home environment shaped their appearance, and now they have their own identity that can influence their tough decisions in their story. Now comes one of the crucial points in the interaction between Character and Plot.
A character has their own identity influencing their decisions. For the character that wants to meet a long-lost friend: he or she might leave on their journey that makes up the story to find the friend they lost. However, that’s not enough.
· What if a clue to the close friend’s whereabouts was accidentally discovered?
· What if this close friend was a close sibling like an older brother or sister?
· Or maybe, this friend is a long-lost lover the character never got over.
A character has their own inner struggles they must face, and as they face their inner demons they reveal the world they live in. Through the characters experiences in the world, the reader will become more aware of the world. It’s the character’s struggle to make choices, and his or her motivation for doing something or making a choice that will allow the reader to connect to the story.
The Character’s Choices
The choices a character makes will be guided by the character’s motivation. A character might choose to do something for many reasons. However, whatever their reason for doing something, they will do it because of something they felt or experienced.
The way a character makes choices is much like how we make choices. The character discovers new things about themselves when they are faced with difficult choices to make.
The character that goes out in search of their long-lost lover or sibling might be faced with a difficult choice. They might have to decide between giving up new friends or a new lover he or she met on their journey and reuniting with the one they lost. Maybe, this long-lost lover became a villain or the long-lost sibling truly is lost.
When faced with a hard decision, a character might learn they aren’t what they thought they were. There are consequences to the choices we make. These consequences are often things we must live with. Because the choices a character might make can have many different consequences, the plot needs to bend to the changes made because of a character’s choice.
Character Development
A character faces various consequences for their actions. These consequences shape the plot. The plot is the path the character walks. This path can be many different things:
· Fall
o The character starts off good, but he or she begins to learn that they aren’t as good as they thought they were. Eventually, the character becomes the villain.
· Redemption
o The character starts off bad, but he or she begins to learn that they aren’t as bad as they thought they were. Eventually, the character becomes the hero.
· Growth
o The character grows and discovers something new about themselves.
· The Misunderstood
o The character is regarded as something they aren’t, and they go through the story trying to prove to themselves and the rest of the world that they aren’t what everyone thought.
One way or another, the way a character develops revolves around the conflict that causes them to make choices that drive the plot.
Trouble Shooting
If you are struggling with any part of this, it’s important to think about how you can take things one step further. For Example:
Where your Character Lives
The Earth gives us notable examples of many different dynamic environments in one place. One thing you can do when trying to decide where the character lives is think about the Earth’s many different environments and imagine most of the world to be like one environment.
What your Character Looks Like
The more distinct the features the better. A good physical appearance can have a distinct feature that can make the character easier to distinguish from others.
Your Character’s Character
Everyone has a distinct personality that makes them who they are. A character with quirks can be easier for the reader to relate to than a character without any.
Your Character’s Motivation
Think about what drives your character to do what they do.
Your Character’s Choices
When thinking about the plot, think about the tough choices a character will have to make. Make some room for the character to choose their path. Be careful not to lose control of the plot.
Character Development
Your character is shaped by conflict and difficult choices. Understanding the path your character walks can help you maintain control of the plot while the character’s choices shape the story.

[Merman Dylan Zalrian]

The above is a guide for creating characters in case someone wants any tips.

[LeeAnne]

I hope it's okay for me to pop in but, I love this! I'm a huge fiction writer but most of the time I steer away from merfolk in my stories as breaking cliches can just be so darn difficult! I totally agree that the whole... transformation thing is just a tired idea - a very good one but, a tired one all the same. With some serious revamping I think it could actually make for a beautiful story!

But am I the only one who's tired of the "manic pixie mermaid" characters? Those beautiful mers who could hold such an important role in the story but instead their whole reason for being there is to offer some character clash to the stud muffin man and then fall madly in love with him. Romance isn't always bad but it just feels old when that's all the mer is good for but, I digress.

Holy sweet wow though, Dylan, that character outline is like a dream. Did you create that yourself? It's awesome!

[Merman Dylan Zalrian]

I hope it's okay for me to pop in but, I love this! I'm a huge fiction writer but most of the time I steer away from merfolk in my stories as breaking cliches can just be so darn difficult! I totally agree that the whole... transformation thing is just a tired idea - a very good one but, a tired one all the same. With some serious revamping I think it could actually make for a beautiful story!

Holy sweet wow though, Dylan, that character outline is like a dream. Did you create that yourself? It's awesome!

I used my experience mostly and quoted from someone who wrote a good guide.

As far as merfolk transformation is concerned, I feel like it can still be used in a story because it's useful. However, the story does not need to be centered around that.

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[Merman Dylan Zalrian]

The person I quoted had a decent guide, but I felt like it could have benefited from better formatting. I also had my own ideas like how the environment shapes the character.

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[Merman Dylan Zalrian]

In fact, before you use a style of merfolk that was already done or over done. It may be helpful to consider where your characters live before you decide on what they look like.

The merfolk in my story have fins extending from their ears that serve multiple purposes. The merfolk live in reefs at the bottom of the ocean. These reefs produce light. However, in my story's history, merfolk didn't always have the deep sea reefs. Since merfolk swam through the darkness of the deep sea, the fins on their ears could detect sound vibrations that moved through the water. So the fins help merfolk hear more sounds at a greater distance. The fins also fold and unfold like a fan which can play a part in how much they hear, and it's one of the ways they express some emotions.

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[Merman Dylan Zalrian]

While I have not had a chance to buy and finish reading his books, I find his writing tips very helpful.

http://www.danielarenson.com/FantasyWritingTips.aspx

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This is the link to the writing tips from the person I quoted. While much of my guide is from my own experience. I organized the order of development, included bullets for accessibility, and It's my idea to start the basis of character development from how the environment shapes the characters appearance. Other details I included I was first exposed to on Daniel Arenson's page and his writing tips. I included similar details he suggested because in my experience trying to apply those ideas I found that I could not come up with something better. The ideas are similar, but he is not quoted because the words I used are not his. If anyone is interested, I can share the document I created that includes a works cited giving him credit for what I learned from him.

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[MermanJamie]

Wow, Dylan, you have outdone yourself with this character guide. So useful, especially for new writers. I used to be a great writer, but I feel like I've lost a little bit of my touch recently, and that my stories are basically just rambling, so if I can create a good character, it could help me get better. The only thing is, I'm not sure if I want to make my main character a girl or a guy. I haven't written from a girl's perspective that often, so it could be fun, but I feel like it's easier to write from a guy's perspective, especially if he's around my age, because I can get into his mindset. Idk, though. I think I have a good plot outlined, no matter what, but I need to decide on my main character first. I know what I want my character to be like, but I just can't decide whether they should be male or female. Idk, it's a weird dilemma.

[Agent Dragon]

Wow, Dylan, you have outdone yourself with this character guide. So useful, especially for new writers. I used to be a great writer, but I feel like I've lost a little bit of my touch recently, and that my stories are basically just rambling, so if I can create a good character, it could help me get better. The only thing is, I'm not sure if I want to make my main character a girl or a guy. I haven't written from a girl's perspective that often, so it could be fun, but I feel like it's easier to write from a guy's perspective, especially if he's around my age, because I can get into his mindset. Idk, though. I think I have a good plot outlined, no matter what, but I need to decide on my main character first. I know what I want my character to be like, but I just can't decide whether they should be male or female. Idk, it's a weird dilemma.

Guys and girls... really don’t think all that differently, if you look at people as a whole. Sure, there are stereotypes that have some basis in biological factors, but there are guys who are plenty emotional and girls who try to distance themselves from their feelings.
Should you chose to write from a female character’s perspective, don’t worry too much about making her a typical girl. Just think about making her a relatable person.
Also: friendly reminder that one of the most famous male protagonists in the world, Harry Potter, was written by a woman.


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[MermanJamie]

Guys and girls... really don’t think all that differently, if you look at people as a whole. Sure, there are stereotypes that have some basis in biological factors, but there are guys who are plenty emotional and girls who try to distance themselves from their feelings.
Should you chose to write from a female character’s perspective, don’t worry too much about making her a typical girl. Just think about making her a relatable person.
Also: friendly reminder that one of the most famous male protagonists in the world, Harry Potter, was written by a woman.


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I totally agree, and that's one of the great things about our world, that there is so much variety in the types of people out there. I just meant, sometimes, my friends who are girls have experiences that I don't really understand. If I don't get certain things a girl might face that are important to her character, that would be a little difficult. The main issue, is that it might be difficult to make a girl who seems believable, cause while I have a few friends who are girls, I don't know if she would seem realistic or relatable. I guess I could ask my friends a little more, but I totally get where you're coming from.

[Agent Dragon]

I totally agree, and that's one of the great things about our world, that there is so much variety in the types of people out there. I just meant, sometimes, my friends who are girls have experiences that I don't really understand. If I don't get certain things a girl might face that are important to her character, that would be a little difficult. The main issue, is that it might be difficult to make a girl who seems believable, cause while I have a few friends who are girls, I don't know if she would seem realistic or relatable. I guess I could ask my friends a little more, but I totally get where you're coming from.

Ah, I see what you mean. And I don’t mean to say that writing for the opposite gender isn’t difficult - it IS a challenge, but I have faith that you can pull it off. Also, something to keep in mind: if the main character is from a society that is different from ours, they will think differently. For example, a girl growing up in our modern world might become indignant if a man catcalls her, but if that same girl lived a few centuries ago, she wouldn’t think to get angry because that was just what happened in patriarchal societies. That reminds me of a podcast I was listening to a few years back where these people went to Africa and held competitions on street corners and stuff to see what kind of people would be more likely to participate. Now, people in the Western world tend to think of men as more competitive, and that stereotype held true - in the patriarchal areas. When the same competitions were held in matriarchal societies, the vast majority of the volunteers were women. In the female-dominated areas, women were more competitive than men.
What I’m trying to get at is this: Our personalities are impacted less by male and female hormones and more by our surroundings. When it is clear what environmental factors make a character act the way they do, it becomes easier to relate to them, regardless of how much the character and the reader differ.


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[MermanJamie]

Ah, I see what you mean. And I don’t mean to say that writing for the opposite gender isn’t difficult - it IS a challenge, but I have faith that you can pull it off. Also, something to keep in mind: if the main character is from a society that is different from ours, they will think differently. For example, a girl growing up in our modern world might become indignant if a man catcalls her, but if that same girl lived a few centuries ago, she wouldn’t think to get angry because that was just what happened in patriarchal societies. That reminds me of a podcast I was listening to a few years back where these people went to Africa and held competitions on street corners and stuff to see what kind of people would be more likely to participate. Now, people in the Western world tend to think of men as more competitive, and that stereotype held true - in the patriarchal areas. When the same competitions were held in matriarchal societies, the vast majority of the volunteers were women. In the female-dominated areas, women were more competitive than men.
What I’m trying to get at is this: Our personalities are impacted less by male and female hormones and more by our surroundings. When it is clear what environmental factors make a character act the way they do, it becomes easier to relate to them, regardless of how much the character and the reader differ.


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A lot of great points here! I don't really want my world to be a patriarchy or a matriarchy. I'm thinking that rulers have been both men and women in the past, but I'm not sure who rules the society now. I also think that competitiveness will differ based on the character, so there might be some competitive female and some competitive male characters. I don't really know. My main character is going to be super excitable, but also really loyal to their friends. Their main flaws are probably indecisiveness and wavering, or doubting themselves. I'm thinking of trying to put his/her desires in the way of their friendships. This is a classic idea, but I think I have a creative way I can pull it off. I'm just not sure if I want to make the main character a guy or girl. Either way, it's going to be a fun story to write.

[Merman Dylan Zalrian]

A lot of great points here! I don't really want my world to be a patriarchy or a matriarchy. I'm thinking that rulers have been both men and women in the past, but I'm not sure who rules the society now. I also think that competitiveness will differ based on the character, so there might be some competitive female and some competitive male characters. I don't really know. My main character is going to be super excitable, but also really loyal to their friends. Their main flaws are probably indecisiveness and wavering, or doubting themselves. I'm thinking of trying to put his/her desires in the way of their friendships. This is a classic idea, but I think I have a creative way I can pull it off. I'm just not sure if I want to make the main character a guy or girl. Either way, it's going to be a fun story to write.

I ran into a similar issue including a character with a dark skin tone while I'm white.

If you do not understand the issues someone else lives with or how things might be different from you. It helps to ask someone that is willing to explain what you don't understand. The internet is also an excellent tool for expanding your knowledge.

And to go with what Agent Dragon is saying, there is a reason I started out my guide for developing a character with where they can be found first. Our environment does not just shape how we look. We also have different experiences that shape our personalities. The environment is not just a physical location, it's also a place in time, and a social circumstance.

If socially men and women are on equal playing fields, you should avoid the details in our society that shows inequality unless historically there was inequality in your world. If you are creating your own world, I recommend creating a creation myth for how the world begins. Once you know how your world came to be, you can create a history that comes after.

[Merman Dylan Zalrian]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9XSWZc1JBcs

A creation story as simple as this can be a good place to begin or the classic biblical "And then there was light..."

[Merman Dylan Zalrian]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pQU7qqpa8ug

This might be helpful. What it means to be a girl or guy as far as gender is concerned is a construct decided by society. It isn't actually something that is restricted to any one way. A guy could easily be the weak one in your world, while a girl is the strong one. What it means to be a girl or boy is something decided by society.

The merfolk in my story sometimes wear human looking clothes. It is more common for mermaids to wear human looking outfits than mermen. In merfolk society, clothes are not something they are required to wear. Of course there are exceptions to the rules. Reef Remori in Chapter 4 of my story has constructed an outfit of human clothes because of the time he has spent on land. As you will find out in Chapter 1, Marianous has been destroyed and Dylan has been living in a slumbering fragment of what used to be his home. Reef had to learn to spend time on land to escape danger. He did not have a choice. Because Marianous was overrun with sea monsters, the only place to go was on land or somewhere that wasn't his home. So, even though Reef might not have liked human clothes he had a need to start wearing them. Of course, it's also possible that he adapted a working outfit because of his own interest in something that wasn't typical of most mermen.

[MermanJamie]

One of my friends actually told me that she finds it easier to write as the opposite sex. I'm kinda just struggling to decide whether having a man or a woman, a boy or a girl, would suit my story better. I really don't know. I'll update you when I decide more about my main characters.

[Mermaid_Artemis]

I've been planing on writing a mermaid story if my own! :) However, I'm not sure if its a good story line or not. Its about this Mermaid who comes on land to try talk these princes into stop polluting the ocean. When the dont listen to her she changes them to merman and forces them into living the life she has to with all their garbage. This is my first mermaid fantasy. I thought it up as a beinger writer and forgot about it till I was looking up my old book ideas. What do you guys think? If its not good I can always come up with a different stories. Your stories sound so unique. :)

[MermanJamie]

I've been planing on writing a mermaid story if my own! :) However, I'm not sure if its a good story line or not. Its about this Mermaid who comes on land to try talk these princes into stop polluting the ocean. When the dont listen to her she changes them to merman and forces them into living the life she has to with all their garbage. This is my first mermaid fantasy. I thought it up as a beinger writer and forgot about it till I was looking up my old book ideas. What do you guys think? If its not good I can always come up with a different stories. Your stories sound so unique. :)

This sounds like such an awesome story!

[MermanJamie]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pQU7qqpa8ug

This might be helpful. What it means to be a girl or guy as far as gender is concerned is a construct decided by society. It isn't actually something that is restricted to any one way. A guy could easily be the weak one in your world, while a girl is the strong one. What it means to be a girl or boy is something decided by society.

The merfolk in my story sometimes wear human looking clothes. It is more common for mermaids to wear human looking outfits than mermen. In merfolk society, clothes are not something they are required to wear. Of course there are exceptions to the rules. Reef Remori in Chapter 4 of my story has constructed an outfit of human clothes because of the time he has spent on land. As you will find out in Chapter 1, Marianous has been destroyed and Dylan has been living in a slumbering fragment of what used to be his home. Reef had to learn to spend time on land to escape danger. He did not have a choice. Because Marianous was overrun with sea monsters, the only place to go was on land or somewhere that wasn't his home. So, even though Reef might not have liked human clothes he had a need to start wearing them. Of course, it's also possible that he adapted a working outfit because of his own interest in something that wasn't typical of most mermen.

This video helped a lot, but I still can't decide. The character that I'm planning could honestly work really well as either male or female. I just can't decide. It doesn't seem like it will make much of a difference at this point, though, because they will have virtually the same personality. I just don't know how to choose! If anyone has any advice on how to choose, let me know!

[Merman Dylan Zalrian]

I've been planing on writing a mermaid story if my own! :) However, I'm not sure if its a good story line or not. Its about this Mermaid who comes on land to try talk these princes into stop polluting the ocean. When the dont listen to her she changes them to merman and forces them into living the life she has to with all their garbage. This is my first mermaid fantasy. I thought it up as a beinger writer and forgot about it till I was looking up my old book ideas. What do you guys think? If its not good I can always come up with a different stories. Your stories sound so unique. :)
I say go for it.

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[Merman Dylan Zalrian]

This video helped a lot, but I still can't decide. The character that I'm planning could honestly work really well as either male or female. I just can't decide. It doesn't seem like it will make much of a difference at this point, though, because they will have virtually the same personality. I just don't know how to choose! If anyone has any advice on how to choose, let me know!
The best advice I can give is to go with your gut.

However, if that doesn't work, you can always think about the relationships your character has with other characters.

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[MermanJamie]

The best advice I can give is to go with your gut.

However, if that doesn't work, you can always think about the relationships your character has with other characters.

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Thanks. I'm going to describe my character to family and friends, and see what they think will work better. That way I can get multiple opinions.

[Slim]

I extremely (very much extremely) rarely read books at all but THIS has my attention.


I've been planing on writing a mermaid story if my own! :) However, I'm not sure if its a good story line or not. Its about this Mermaid who comes on land to try talk these princes into stop polluting the ocean. When the dont listen to her she changes them to merman and forces them into living the life she has to with all their garbage. This is my first mermaid fantasy. I thought it up as a beinger writer and forgot about it till I was looking up my old book ideas. What do you guys think? If its not good I can always come up with a different stories. Your stories sound so unique. :)

[Merman Dylan Zalrian]

Thanks. I'm going to describe my character to family and friends, and see what they think will work better. That way I can get multiple opinions.
That's a good idea.

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[Merman Dylan Zalrian]

I extremely (very much extremely) rarely read books at all but THIS has my attention.
You should read more often.

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[Merman Dylan Zalrian]

I find that music helps me put myself in my characters fins or whatever they have instead of feet. To that end, I created playlists with music that can give the feel of different parts of my story.

Wayward Merfolk:

https://youtu.be/8Mk2WoupmGM

Wayward Sylph:

https://youtu.be/mKXS64eMgsg

Wayward Sanctuary:

https://youtu.be/OW9u5DT5yq4

Wayward Abyss:

https://youtu.be/kR2Fo3B5r2c

Wayward Dreams:

https://youtu.be/xY2UMsLlfGE

Wayward Humans:

https://youtu.be/pJdPO74R_Uo

Wayward Draken:

https://youtu.be/cy-lOQ32dmY

I hope these videos also inspire everyone here. I draw inspiration from many places, but the strongest inspiration comes from my overwhelmingly strong emotions.

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[LeeAnne]

Hey! To anyone struggling to figure out who their character is but, they have a strong voice and story direction in their minds. This is a piece of advice one of my creative writing profs gave me forever ago - Just start writing. I know it might be weird to not have anything to directly refrence your character with but, this will also help you write in deep pov a little more and give you something to reveal later in the story. When you've got enough written to make the choice of who you've been writing for all along, it can often surprise you and the reader in an awesome way. It is difficult and I suggest looking into deep pov a little more to get a feel of what to avoid. But it really helps me keep from slipping into "This Kelly, she's 13 and clearly a girl" character intros (I get lazy if I know too much lol)

[Merman Dylan Zalrian]

Hey! To anyone struggling to figure out who their character is but, they have a strong voice and story direction in their minds. This is a piece of advice one of my creative writing profs gave me forever ago - Just start writing. I know it might be weird to not have anything to directly refrence your character with but, this will also help you write in deep pov a little more and give you something to reveal later in the story. When you've got enough written to make the choice of who you've been writing for all along, it can often surprise you and the reader in an awesome way. It is difficult and I suggest looking into deep pov a little more to get a feel of what to avoid. But it really helps me keep from slipping into "This Kelly, she's 13 and clearly a girl" character intros (I get lazy if I know too much lol)

That's awesome advice.

To add to it, try creating character profiles while you right. You can always change them later. Character Profiles can be exactly like the profiles of real people.

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[LeeAnne]

^^^ I swear by character profiles, even if I dont have enough of my story laid out to make the main character I'll use them for the side ones. Knowing who your characters are (even the less significant ones) gives them reason for being where they're at in the story and helps you write them with a purpose. It really shows through in the results.

[Merman Dylan Zalrian]

^^^ I swear by character profiles, even if I dont have enough of my story laid out to make the main character I'll use them for the side ones. Knowing who your characters are (even the less significant ones) gives them reason for being where they're at in the story and helps you write them with a purpose. It really shows through in the results.
I have character profiles on my Patreon. I try to reserve my specific outlines for my story for paying patrons. It limits what I can share, but I do agree that solid profiles are helpful when it comes to writing.

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[Merman Dylan Zalrian]

So, I wanted to share something involving the Sylph in my story. You can Google this, but this race in particular had a degree of significance with gender and sex.

If you Google what the Sylph generally are you get some ambiguous results.

Basically, Sylph are:

Like Fairies but more like spirits
Wind Elementals
Typically Female

Now, one of my Male characters by the name of Kai is one of the Sylph in my story.

Something I learned after doing research is that there are Male Sylphs in various games and stories. The reason for this was actually pretty simple. Sylphs are spirits associated with the wind. Generally speaking, Spirits do not have a designated sex or gender. Spirits can be whichever one you want. I did this research because I wanted the term for my Sylph Race to make sense. I didn't want people getting confused by something that is generally female being male.

Anyways, the major point of this was that you are creating and imagining what is in your stories. Your characters are a product of your imagination and can be whatever you want them to be. It is important to do your research though. While a story might be written within the context of its own world it may not be interpreted within that context.

I would not make Kai a Sylph if I could not confirm that Sylphs could be male with a sufficient explanation for that.

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[MermanJamie]

Ok, so I've decided on making my main character a guy. I guess maybe I could just relate a little more that way. But I definitely want to have a couple pretty important girl characters as well, and the video definitely helped me get prepared for that. I still am deciding on my character's names, but I definitely have a few good choices!

[MermanJamie]

I was actually considering using Dylan or Dillon as a name for a character when I started thinking about writing the book, as it's one of the best names relating to the ocean out there. Now that I've read some of your book, it feels like I'm copying. Kind of like if I decided to name a vampire in my book Isabella or Bella before I found out about Twilight. My main question is: should all my characters have names related to the sea? There is a very limited group of names related to the sea, and I'd kinda like to broaden my selection pool, but it seems like everyone online seems to use these names when writing about merfolk.

[Mermaid Kane]

I was actually considering using Dylan or Dillon as a name for a character when I started thinking about writing the book, as it's one of the best names relating to the ocean out there. Now that I've read some of your book, it feels like I'm copying. Kind of like if I decided to name a vampire in my book Isabella or Bella before I found out about Twilight. My main question is: should all my characters have names related to the sea? There is a very limited group of names related to the sea, and I'd kinda like to broaden my selection pool, but it seems like everyone online seems to use these names when writing about merfolk.

No, I don't think the names must relate to the sea.
Names are very special to each character, and I think limiting them to habitat seems silly.

[LeeAnne]

My main question is: should all my characters have names related to the sea? There is a very limited group of names related to the sea, and I'd kinda like to broaden my selection pool, but it seems like everyone online seems to use these names when writing about merfolk.

Ah names and their meanings! This is one of my favorite topics lol. So if you're wanting to stick with nautical meanings as a theme, try some celestial names as well! The stars and the sea go hand in hand so it can be a really beautiful blend of names as well. But, when it really comes down to it, you can pick whatever names you'd like for your character! The thing with picking names by meaning is, your reader will probably never think deeply enough on character names to realize what meanings they have (*unless* you call it to attention in the story, that's when it becomes a big deal) so it's really all on if the meanings make you happy and the character complete. Meanings also don't have to be blatant either to make a statement! So if sea related names are feeling tired to you, don't use them <3

Other good name meanings to look into that elude to the sea:
Gemstones, weather, colors/flowers, really anything. Like, I mean anything. Even avian names can work for a mer if the character calls for it, don't limit yourself :)

[MermanJamie]

Ah names and their meanings! This is one of my favorite topics lol. So if you're wanting to stick with nautical meanings as a theme, try some celestial names as well! The stars and the sea go hand in hand so it can be a really beautiful blend of names as well. But, when it really comes down to it, you can pick whatever names you'd like for your character! The thing with picking names by meaning is, your reader will probably never think deeply enough on character names to realize what meanings they have (*unless* you call it to attention in the story, that's when it becomes a big deal) so it's really all on if the meanings make you happy and the character complete. Meanings also don't have to be blatant either to make a statement! So if sea related names are feeling tired to you, don't use them <3

Other good name meanings to look into that elude to the sea:
Gemstones, weather, colors/flowers, really anything. Like, I mean anything. Even avian names can work for a mer if the character calls for it, don't limit yourself :)

Thanks, this is some great advice! I will definitely look into each of these!

[MermanJamie]

Well, I'm still leaning towards Dylan or Dillon. I feel bad, though, because it feels like I'm copying Dylan, when I'm really trying not to. In the Sims, I had a couple who lived by the beach. The man's name was Dylan, and it is also the name of a good friend of mine. I don't want to feel like I'm copying, though, so I might just use Dillon as a different spelling. My top two other names for my characters at the moment are Sky and Gale (lol, that feels weird because of the Hunger Games, but I honestly just like the meaning)

[Merman Dylan Zalrian]

Well, I'm still leaning towards Dylan or Dillon. I feel bad, though, because it feels like I'm copying Dylan, when I'm really trying not to. In the Sims, I had a couple who lived by the beach. The man's name was Dylan, and it is also the name of a good friend of mine. I don't want to feel like I'm copying, though, so I might just use Dillon as a different spelling. My top two other names for my characters at the moment are Sky and Gale (lol, that feels weird because of the Hunger Games, but I honestly just like the meaning)
I have some advice I want to give you. Unfortunately, I have work right now and homework. As soon as I can, I'll give you what advice I can.

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[Merman Dylan Zalrian]

To start with, names with a special meaning is a good start to developing a character.

One of my characters is named Dylan simply because it's a name I like.

Kai is interesting for a name as it appears in more places than Hawaii. In Hawaii it means sea, in Japanese it means forgiveness, in Navajo it means willow tree, but it's also the name of the boy that gets a piece of the Snow Queen's mirror stuck in his eye and his heart turns cold and he freezes as a result.

Adrian is derived from the Adrianic Sea, but it also means dark.

Serena means calm.

The associations with the ocean are there, but the characters aren't dependent on the meanings of their names. They were a good starting point, but the most important thing is that the characters are their own individual.

As for using Dylan's name, changing the spelling can be helpful for maintaining originality, but I won't lose sleep if you do use the same spelling. Just be careful to not completely copy my character.

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[MermanJamie]

Thanks for that Dylan. I've only read about 1 chapter of your story, so I don't think I really know enough to copy your character! The character that I'm thinking of giving the name is going to be cool headed, and pretty cynical. He's had a rough life, so it's difficult for him to constantly look on the bright side, and I would generally say he focuses more on concerns than on benefits. He can get positive from time to time, but he's usually a pessimist, yet only really trying to look out for others by forewarning them. He can get a little worried for his friends, but is kinda straightforward most of the time.

Tell me if this is too similar, and I can change my idea for his character.

[Merman Dylan Zalrian]

Thanks for that Dylan. I've only read about 1 chapter of your story, so I don't think I really know enough to copy your character! The character that I'm thinking of giving the name is going to be cool headed, and pretty cynical. He's had a rough life, so it's difficult for him to constantly look on the bright side, and I would generally say he focuses more on concerns than on benefits. He can get positive from time to time, but he's usually a pessimist, yet only really trying to look out for others by forewarning them. He can get a little worried for his friends, but is kinda straightforward most of the time.

Tell me if this is too similar, and I can change my idea for his character.
It's not too similar. Dylan is pretty consistently a positive thinker who cares deeply about his friends' well being over his own well being. He often takes risks on his own to prevent harm from coming to his friends. He does get hit with some shock after discovering the fate of his home.

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[MermanJamie]

Ok! Thanks for letting me know! Seems like your character is exactly the opposite of mine! The character I was describing earlier seems more comparable to yours, though still far apart enough. Haven't decided on a name yet for him, though. I had a name in mind, for if I had made him a girl, but since I decided on a guy, I'm thinking of using that name for a different character.

[Merman Dylan Zalrian]

When I came up with Dylan's character, I didn't want him to be the stereotypical self sacrificing type. He wants to keep his friends away from harm so badly that he doesn't tell Adrian that his own father destroyed Marianous. When Kai confronts Dylan and enlists his help to save the Sylph. Dylan isn't thinking about his home for himself. He wants there to be a home for those he cares about. A consequence of Dylan's kind heart and self sacrificing nature is that he does things he thinks are right when they aren't. He endures difficult situations that would be easier with friends.

The Realm of Dreams can take a person through time by allowing someone to relive memories they can't change in reality. Dylan wants to be with his friends, but he doesn't want his friends to be with him in difficult situations. The Realm of Dreams brings him to a time he spent with his friends. A cruel illusion of what once was.

I try to think about how his psychological nature could be the source of his own problems.

How does he reconcile this desire to ensure his friends' safety while ensuring his own safety? How long can he deal with these things alone? When he needs his friends, will they be there for him?

In all honesty, I almost created a situation that would have broken his character in the Realm of Dreams. Instead, It's Dylan's father that succumbs to defeat and helplessness. Dylan at the time wasn't expressing as much emotion. He simply hadn't put everything together yet.

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[Merman Dylan Zalrian]

Ok! Thanks for letting me know! Seems like your character is exactly the opposite of mine! The character I was describing earlier seems more comparable to yours, though still far apart enough. Haven't decided on a name yet for him, though. I had a name in mind, for if I had made him a girl, but since I decided on a guy, I'm thinking of using that name for a different character.
Look up baby names. Use things like the elements or celestial objects to guide your search. Don't rely too much on the meaning of the name. If you use Dillon or another variation, it could help to remind you that your character is different. By using a different spelling, you can have an easier time making the character your own.

For example, my first name is Alec which is a variation of Alex which is short for Alexander or Alexandria which means it has the same meaning as the original name Alexander. My name has been spelt as Alek and Alexander has a form known as Xander as well. When you find a really long name, you can play with different shortened versions.
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[MermanJamie]

Look up baby names. Use things like the elements or celestial objects to guide your search. Don't rely too much on the meaning of the name. If you use Dillon or another variation, it could help to remind you that your character is different. By using a different spelling, you can have an easier time making the character your own.

For example, my first name is Alec which is a variation of Alex which is short for Alexander or Alexandria which means it has the same meaning as the original name Alexander. My name has been spelt as Alek and Alexander has a form known as Xander as well. When you find a really long name, you can play with different shortened versions.
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I will definitely think about this. My first name is James, which I've always hated, which is why I prefer to go by Jamie. I guess I was also upset about the meaning recently:supplanter, one who supersedes another through force and treachery. I guess I have to look deeper. I definitely have a few ideas so far, and I guess I'll just keep looking.

[Merman Dylan Zalrian]

I will definitely think about this. My first name is James, which I've always hated, which is why I prefer to go by Jamie. I guess I was also upset about the meaning recently:supplanter, one who supersedes another through force and treachery. I guess I have to look deeper. I definitely have a few ideas so far, and I guess I'll just keep looking.
That's always a good thing to do. It's okay for your ideas to evolve over time.

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[MermanJamie]

I think I'm going to go with Aaron or Aron for my main human character. Aaron means enlightened one, and I definitely wanted something with light for his name. I like the whole enlightened thing, because it makes me think of being brought out of the dark, and I want him to have to put his own desires aside to help Dillon. Dillon has been disconnected from the mer world, and Aaron is going to be super excitable. When he finds out about the mer world, a whole other world beneath his nose, he is probably going to be ecstatic, but be curbed back by Dillon, who is uncomfortable with his home world. I want to make this story all about the ups and downs of a friend relationship, and really fleshing this out is probably going to be the most important element of this story.

Of course, this is just a super vague plot draft, and I'm going to do more with it, but this is just a basic plan/overview

[Merman Dylan Zalrian]

I think I'm going to go with Aaron or Aron for my main human character. Aaron means enlightened one, and I definitely wanted something with light for his name. I like the whole enlightened thing, because it makes me think of being brought out of the dark, and I want him to have to put his own desires aside to help Dillon. Dillon has been disconnected from the mer world, and Aaron is going to be super excitable. When he finds out about the mer world, a whole other world beneath his nose, he is probably going to be ecstatic, but be curbed back by Dillon, who is uncomfortable with his home world. I want to make this story all about the ups and downs of a friend relationship, and really fleshing this out is probably going to be the most important element of this story.

Of course, this is just a super vague plot draft, and I'm going to do more with it, but this is just a basic plan/overview
Sounds awesome.

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[MermanJamie]

Thanks! That means a lot! I'm going to try writing the first few chapters this week. Hopefully it doesn't sound like a clunky mess.

[Merman Dylan Zalrian]

Thanks! That means a lot! I'm going to try writing the first few chapters this week. Hopefully it doesn't sound like a clunky mess.
I look forward to seeing what you write.

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[Merman Dylan Zalrian]

While writing Chapter 5, I'm learning that writing the chapter in exposition, or writing with heavy details, is helping me to move my story forward.

I'm not big on using outlines for chapters. I like to imagine what should be in the chapter while giving my characters the flexibility to have some influence on how things unfold. I guess you could say that I write what I imagine, and then, I go back through and edit the chapters. It's a long process.

My problem right now is deciding on the direction for the chapter. Where should the characters go next. I feel like my exposition has led to my characters becoming more flat for the time being. However, I have a chunk of the chapter written out with what I imagine.

An author of the series Mer Tails gave me some great advice: "Show, don't tell." Right now, my characters are telling instead of showing. I imagine that this chapter will be ready once I can confidently say I'm showing instead of telling. It becomes easier to move forward as I imagine more details. If I wasn't so tired, I would have an easier time with this. :(.

A good chapter isn't written over night. The hardest part is writing the chapter. The exposition and extra details help. The next hardest part is going through and cleaning up the chapter. This part involves taking the extensive details and deleting a lot of stuff as well as rewordining phrases. Sometimes, the editing gives you new ideas.

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[MermanJamie]

Sounds good! I'm doing my prologue now, and am almost done.

[Merman Dylan Zalrian]

Sounds good! I'm doing my prologue now, and am almost done.
Awesome!

Just a tip, not all stories need a prologue, but sometimes they do. Either way, you're getting those first words down.

Chapter 5 is actually going to take me awhile given time constraints, but when it's posted Chapter 2 will become public.

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[MermanJamie]

Yeah. Prologues are not always necessary. But I think I need to give a little background a little before the story takes place..the reason how Dillon ended up in the human world..and his original thoughts on it before he wound up there, in contrast to virtually all, but especially the high social class of merfolk.

His teacher, who I am planning to bring back later in the story, is stringent and proud. I think that she is especially comparable to really anyone with strong national pride or pride of their lineage, except a little more rough about it. She doesn't explicitly hate humans, but her pride causes her to view merfolk as above them. Anyone who is fascinated by other species, including humans and other magical creatures, seem to be simply wasting their time to her. I thought I would share a little about a character whom I'm in the process of developing. But she's definitely going to become important later in the story.

I think that another key element of my story could be mending that relationship. Show that you can have strong pride, but still be kind to others, and learn about foreign concepts. You need to be confident, yet not overly confident. Thought maybe this could be her little journey.

[Merman Dylan Zalrian]

That sounds like an awesome idea. I'm currently struggling with a matter of the Arcane. Magic has a balance in the World of Wayward Tides. It serves a special purpose under special circumstances. I'm just struggling with making the magic work.

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[Merman Dylan Zalrian]

So, I've been struggling with this for a while. The way Magic works in the World of Wayward Tides seems to be a complicated thing, but I do want to share some of my thoughts.

The World of Wayward Tides has an origin story involving the duality of light and darkness, and after the creation of the world, elements split off into Earth, Fire, Water, Wind, and Sleep. So the magic structure is elemental in that sense. I was kind of thinking of a interconnected web from different centers of magic.

42356

42355


Sleep magic is like a shattered mirror. Dreams are like traveling through time in the sense that memories can be relived. It's a magic of distortion in which doors, paths, and gates can be hidden by forces that aren't normally passable. It's a little different from a typical element. This magic has actually given me the most trouble out of any because its atypical nature and its pseudo time and space travel elements. So, the best image to describe the Realm of Dreams is a shattered mirror. Sleep magic is intricately intertwined with the realm it originates from similar to how Light magic is intricately intertwined with the sanctuary and the Dark magic is intricately intertwined with the Abyss.

42357

To explain some of the pictures, the Druid Shrine by Deviant Phantagram (https://phantagram.deviantart.com/art/Druid-temple-ruins-310451132) is something I shared because there's something interesting about the divine and spiritual that is a nice compliment to the elemental. In a way, someone can argue that religious elements can be magical.

42358

Sanctuary is an idea that originates from Medieval Europe. It's a place of refuge that people once believed you could not pursue someone in without incurring the wrath of god. It's an interesting idea of a place providing protection for something hence the stained glass windows. However, that's not the only spiritual place that historically has been used to protect people and things. Temples also can serve a purpose like a Sanctuary. In the Legend of Zelda Ocarina of Time the Temple of Time literally acts as a barrier that prevents people from obtaining the Tri Force.

42359

42360

I guess there's a lot to think about when it comes to the Arcane and Divine in fiction.

[Merman Dylan Zalrian]

Yeah. Prologues are not always necessary. But I think I need to give a little background a little before the story takes place..the reason how Dillon ended up in the human world..and his original thoughts on it before he wound up there, in contrast to virtually all, but especially the high social class of merfolk.

His teacher, who I am planning to bring back later in the story, is stringent and proud. I think that she is especially comparable to really anyone with strong national pride or pride of their lineage, except a little more rough about it. She doesn't explicitly hate humans, but her pride causes her to view merfolk as above them. Anyone who is fascinated by other species, including humans and other magical creatures, seem to be simply wasting their time to her. I thought I would share a little about a character whom I'm in the process of developing. But she's definitely going to become important later in the story.

I think that another key element of my story could be mending that relationship. Show that you can have strong pride, but still be kind to others, and learn about foreign concepts. You need to be confident, yet not overly confident. Thought maybe this could be her little journey.

This really could be interesting background. Have you thought about introducing the background in the story?

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[Mermaid Kane]

The World of Wayward Tides has an origin story involving the duality of light and darkness, and after the creation of the world, elements split off into Earth, Fire, Water, Wind, and Sleep. So the magic structure is elemental in that sense. I was kind of thinking of a interconnected web from different centers of magic.


One reason I dislike elemental magic... its so unoriginal. I am hard pressed to find anything special or different about it in books.

I have however seen a few incredible divisions in magic that made books that much more interesting.

I steer clear of magic quite often because I'm not smart enough to write it well. ;)

[Merman Dylan Zalrian]

One reason I dislike elemental magic... its so unoriginal. I am hard pressed to find anything special or different about it in books.

I have however seen a few incredible divisions in magic that made books that much more interesting.

I steer clear of magic quite often because I'm not smart enough to write it well. ;)
Magic requires rules and elemental magic provides structure. Truth be told, I imagine a frame work of magic with the elements.

Like, Light and Darkness have duel relationship that can exist as the core of magic in the form of Creation and Destruction, Life and Death, Healing and Plague. Surrounding this Light and Darkness will be Earth, Fire, Water, and Wind. Magic then fall within the structure of these 6 elements with Sleep being a force that distorts things. Within this structure, magic takes on a range of forms like how a storm is wind and water. When I think of magic, the only magic that has a specific element are duel elements that form the world's origin. Other magic might have properties of an element, but they won't be elemental magic. Sleep magic is magic that stands on its own which is why its nature is close to the nature of the realm it comes from.

Long story short. The elements create a framework of consistency to think within.

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[Mermaid Kane]

Magic requires rules and elemental magic provides structure. Truth be told, I imagine a frame work of magic with the elements.

Like, Light and Darkness have duel relationship that can exist as the core of magic in the form of Creation and Destruction, Life and Death, Healing and Plague. Surrounding this Light and Darkness will be Earth, Fire, Water, and Wind. Magic then fall within the structure of these 6 elements with Sleep being a force that distorts things. Within this structure, magic takes on a range of forms like how a storm is wind and water. When I think of magic, the only magic that has a specific element are duel elements that form the world's origin. Other magic might have properties of an element, but they won't be elemental magic. Sleep magic is magic that stands on its own which is why its nature is close to the nature of the realm it comes from.
Long story short. The elements create a framework of consistency to think within.

Magic can have structure and rules without elements. I'm most of all distasteful of light/dark elements.
Darkness is only an absence of light. It isn't ''evil'' (saying this because most people associate darkness with evil, because of instinctual fear of being unaware of our surroundings) or even an element. In a way, it's nonexistent. Just like empty space. Wave your hand in the hair. Nothing is there. Empty space is the result of nothing else being there. So is the dark. And no, light isn't nothing. It actually has weight even.

I am more lenient towards the traditional water, fire, wind and earth elements, although Fire/Wind can be picked at. Considering that fire and heat are the result of rapid chemical processes. Wind is just the flow of gasses causes by movement. Doesn't sound so great when I describe it like that, aye?
Considering that earth and water are things that exist by themselves/as themselves, it makes the manipulation of such more believable and interesting.

I like ''elements'' such as.... gravity, positive/negative energy, and antimatter for example.

But for ANY magic elements to make sense, you must first define magic and how it works.

[Merman Dylan Zalrian]

Magic can have structure and rules without elements. I'm most of all distasteful of light/dark elements.
Darkness is only an absence of light. It isn't ''evil'' (saying this because most people associate darkness with evil, because of instinctual fear of being unaware of our surroundings) or even an element. In a way, it's nonexistent. Just like empty space. Wave your hand in the hair. Nothing is there. Empty space is the result of nothing else being there. So is the dark. And no, light isn't nothing. It actually has weight even.

I am more lenient towards the traditional water, fire, wind and earth elements, although Fire/Wind can be picked at. Considering that fire and heat are the result of rapid chemical processes. Wind is just the flow of gasses causes by movement. Doesn't sound so great when I describe it like that, aye?
Considering that earth and water are things that exist by themselves/as themselves, it makes the manipulation of such more believable and interesting.

I like ''elements'' such as.... gravity, positive/negative energy, and antimatter for example.

But for ANY magic elements to make sense, you must first define magic and how it works.
Honestly, the greatest appeal to light and darkness is the duality of the two. Darkness is often associated with evil, but you should give my story a read. Darkness is not evil. However, darkness can be used to commit acts of evil. Plus, the nice thing about imagining my own world is that the natural order is what I choose it to be. In a way, you can pick the elements apart, but it's important to note that this world does not follow the same ideas and rules of our world.

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[Merman Dylan Zalrian]

Also, Duality does have religious roots. It is a valid argument to say that the devil is not inheritly evil, but necessary to complete the whole. You can't have shadows without light and all lights are eventually extinguished. So as a fundamental aspect of existence, the wholeness that comes from light and darkness is valuable. It's representative of structure and order. The other elements extend this structure. Sleep and the four elements fill in the grey area.

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[Merman Dylan Zalrian]

This channel is pretty good.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yJNMkroM8zQ

[Merman Dylan Zalrian]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-v4R2ZcxPlA

Another good video.

[Merman Dylan Zalrian]

One more video.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tZ3FnbzNwss

[MermanJamie]

I'm still working on stuff, mostly just trying to not have the dialogue sound boring and clunky

[Merman Dylan Zalrian]

I'm still working on stuff, mostly just trying to not have the dialogue sound boring and clunky
That's always a good idea. I shared the videos because I found them helpful.

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[MermanJamie]

So I've been reviewing my work on this story and others over the past few weeks, and it honestly looks terrible. I feel like I've lost my touch, and I don't know why. Everything just sounds bad. The ideas are good, but when I actually try to write the story, everything just sounds bad. It's pretty sad for me. My work is boring and uninteresting, and it's sad, because I like the ideas, and a few friends who I share them with do too, but I just can't seem to make them sound good.

[Merman Dylan Zalrian]

So I've been reviewing my work on this story and others over the past few weeks, and it honestly looks terrible. I feel like I've lost my touch, and I don't know why. Everything just sounds bad. The ideas are good, but when I actually try to write the story, everything just sounds bad. It's pretty sad for me. My work is boring and uninteresting, and it's sad, because I like the ideas, and a few friends who I share them with do too, but I just can't seem to make them sound good.
Is this like syntax, sentence structure, or something else.

For example:

Showing vs Telling

Dylan Tidalian is drawing a map.

Dylan Tidalian's hand guided his sea quill across the Marious Paper. Sea mounts, secluded reefs, and shipwrecks revealed themselves across the paper.

The difference here is that the first sentence flatly tells us Dylan is drawing a map while the other one shows us Dylan is drawing a map by revealing what is drawn on the map. We can see what his hands are doing.

Repetitive Repetition

Dylan Tidalian sat in the light of glowing bubbles. His light blue tail swayed in the current. The light lit up the caves.

Dylan Tidalian sat in a cave illuminated by glowing bubbles. His cerulean tail swayed in the current.

Here we combined the first and last sentence while using the word Cerulean which is a light blue. This effectively removes the dull use of light. Light isn't a bad word, but if you do a little research and expand your vocabulary you can use words that mean light in a more precise and descriptive way. Combining sentences also helps to keep out exposition and jargon.

It's possible your story has a lot of exposition. The solution may simply be thinking of words that do a better job saying what you mean to say. Some words mean phrases like how Light Blue can = Cerulean, or how illuminated means to brighten up in past tense.

In other instances,

The verb you use matters:

Marianous is sleeping in the Realm of Dreams.

Marianous slumbers in the Dream Realm.

Some verbs tell the reader what is happening better than others.

An important thing to keep in mind...

Wordiness:

The Kraken screamed and screeched like a wailing banshee, and the scream shook the earth sending boulders falling down.

The above sentence is very wordy and hard to read. We can remove words and phrases we don't need to make it easier to read.

The earth trembled after the Kraken screamed. Boulders fell from the cliff.

The above sentence is better, but we can still reword it for a better impact and cut out a word.

The Kraken screamed. Tremors pulsed through the cliff as boulders fell.

I guess by looking at your writing. You can use synonyms, more detailed and descriptive words, and better verbs to express what you want to express. The end result can be something significantly better. I am actually going to be condensing chapters 2 and 3 down into one chapter to remove an out of place and confusing scene. This is par for the course.

Keep working hard to write. This is something that requires practice to do well. The only way to improve your writing is to read, accept criticism, and make corrections. You have to engage in writing AND get corrected to get better.

When I was home schooled my mom made me rewrite a paper 6 or 7 times before she gave the okay to submit it. She has a bachelor's degree in technical communication... an English degree. She picked out every single mistake until there weren't any. That's what it takes to write well, but you can't give up.

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[MermanJamie]

The main issue I have with my writing is the dialogue and wording being awkwardly phrased. I guess it would help to just try to rewrite my chapter without using the first draft as a reference, and still trying to use the same plot

[Merman Dylan Zalrian]

The main issue I have with my writing is the dialogue and wording being awkwardly phrased. I guess it would help to just try to rewrite my chapter without using the first draft as a reference, and still trying to use the same plot
Instead of rewriting the chapter you should look at it and think of changes you can make.

Speaking examples:

"I love my cat," the boy said.

"I love my cat." The boy hugged his cat. "She's so cute."

or

"I love my cat." The boy hugged his cat.

"She's so cute." The girl reached for the cat.

The boy gave her the cat.

"She really is fluffy."

"I know right."

or

The boy hugged his cat. "I love my cat."

These are some examples. Instead of a speaking tag like "Said" you can had a sentence that describes something someone can do while speaking.

In another example, people can usually follow a conversation once the people speaking has been established.

You may only need to say something like:

He said

She said

And then, you could essentially continue the conversation without a speaking tag.



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[MermanJamie]

Ok, thanks

[Merman Dylan Zalrian]

Ok, thanks
I hope it helped.

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[Ransom]

Hi everyone! I wrote a bunch of sf stories (yes, science fiction has plenty of room for mers) many years back, but my energy isn't what it was and I now do non-fic to pay the bills <grin>.

Orson Scott Card said something about magic that's stayed with me -- the most compelling magic systems ALWAYS have a cost. Think of Dragon Age's Fade or Warhammer 40k's Warp, and you get the idea. In his book How to Write Science Fiction and Fantasy, he proposed a system where spells cost body parts -- a minor one might have the magician sacrifice a finger, while a serious one could use all the user's limbs at once. People aren't going to forget that in a hurry!

Star Wars' Force is a special powers for free card and frankly quite boring; you'd need to be a better writer than George Lucas to get away with it.

Enough rambling tho, I'd love to hear about your favourite books and more importantly, what you've learnt from them :) In your quest to write, the single best thing you can do is keep reading.

[Merman Dylan Zalrian]

I almost feel like even the magic comes at a price thing is becoming cliche. The trick is that cliches can be used, but it really comes down to how you write. There are many things with successful magic, but there are always rules. In Harry Potter, wizards and witches need wands and some magic is forbidden while other magic requires experience.

The thing I hated about star wars movies was the appearance of a massive jump in experience with Anakin or Luke, but it's also important to note that there is a massive jump in time as well.

I also don't want to copy the Once Upon of Time magic comes at a price kinda thing.

I feel like if you put magic into a strict framework and get cans and cannots you can create something more believable. To an extent, a story like mine with Fairy Children, Dragon Like creatures, Titans, and Merfolk might leave a reader expecting a bit of magic.

Anyways, that's one thing everyone advises against.

Magic can be powerful, but I don't want a Maria Sue or Merin Sue (Overpowered mermaid/ merman chosen one destined to win because of a prophecy with unlimited magic).

And that's why I'm for magic with limitations.

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[Ransom]

Definitely! In the end all we want is a good story and characters we love. Magic doesn't have to fit in one mould or another, though choosing well is a great help to reader immersion and worldbuilding. Even Star Wars has its vehicles and battlefleets, which I've always found way more fun than the Jedi or the Force.

Have you read any books on the writing craft itself?

[Merman Dylan Zalrian]

Definitely! In the end all we want is a good story and characters we love. Magic doesn't have to fit in one mould or another, though choosing well is a great help to reader immersion and worldbuilding. Even Star Wars has its vehicles and battlefleets, which I've always found way more fun than the Jedi or the Force.

Have you read any books on the writing craft itself?
I've read a lot of writing tips, but my background in writing might be a little different. I'm mostly self taught. My current in progress degree is a formal degree in English with a track in Technical Communication. I have done a creative writing workshop, I'm a pretty big reader (I would read more if I had time), I'm completing a course in Practical Criticism with the intent to pursue more literature theory courses. I'm self taught in a lot of ways, but I vividly remember my mom, who has been quite successful with a Bachelor's in English Technical Communications, making me rewrite papers 6 to 8 times before letting me submit them while I was home schooled.

And I agree, I think magic shouldn't be something that allows your characters to get something for nothing. The story wouldn't be enjoyable. I also believe that magic does not have to be something you have to give something up to use either. Magic can be broken down into a variety of things. A character that knows magic may not know the right magic for the job. A phrase at work has been "The right tool for the right job". Magic can come in many different forms. It can be limited to spell type, innate ability like merfolk breathing underwater or flight, elemental type, and etc. Depending on the nature of how magic works in your story and how your characters use magic it will shape the believability. A unique world separate from ours should not and does not have to follow everything in physical science. That's the beauty of a world created from your imagination. Such a world would require some resemblance of "how it works" though.

Either way, I don't think we are in disagreement.[emoji2]

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[Merman Dylan Zalrian]

It shouldn't come as a surprise that I do not place value on someone's experience based on their credentials nor would I treat someone with special status differently from anyone else.

I hope that in some way that my own independent creativity helps me to write a great story. I think that's what we all want. So, as I frequently look for advice when I struggle writing, I want to offer advice in this thread. After all, that's why I created this thread. I want it to be a place where we can help each other get better at writing.

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[Ransom]

Sure thing! Glad to learn together with everyone else. If a tip from a published, bestselling writer works well though, I'll be happy to share it.

If there's just one subject a writer can study tho, I'd pick history. Storytelling (whether fic or non-fic) is about people, their circumstances, the choices they make and why -- and knowing history gives you real life as a guide. It does wonders to help readers relate to your characters.

Thanks for the tips and avenue to share, Dylan!

[Merman Dylan Zalrian]

Sure thing! Glad to learn together with everyone else. If a tip from a published, bestselling writer works well though, I'll be happy to share it.

If there's just one subject a writer can study tho, I'd pick history. Storytelling (whether fic or non-fic) is about people, their circumstances, the choices they make and why -- and knowing history gives you real life as a guide. It does wonders to help readers relate to your characters.

Thanks for the tips and avenue to share, Dylan!
That's awesome advice. My personal favorite is Ancient Greek history, but I enjoy Roman, Celtic, and Middle Eastern History. Personally, I have a preference for the myths.

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[Merman Dylan Zalrian]

The one thing that sorta bugs me about published books is that books that are published and sell aren't always great books. To my understanding, fifty shades of grey is a published best seller, but the quality is lacking in many ways. I'm technically published on Patreon, but my story isn't complete.

Publication is a very weird thing. Being a best seller is an outstanding accomplishment, but in some ways, a best selling book isn't always the best written.

I'm speaking in generalities and repeating some of what I heard. However, my professor who worked in publication was the one that told me that. To truly be a successfully published author, you should not pay money for your work to get published.

There are scam sites like poetry.com that will charge you to get your poem published. It's actually very shady.

My point is that publication is probably the easiest thing to do in the writing process. That's why it's so important to focus on your quality.

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[Ransom]

I completely agree! Quality first.

That said, publication isn't the gatekeeper it once was, and anyway reputable houses tend to be backlogged for a very long time. The late sf writer A C Crispin kept a blog detailing shady publishers.

I actually see bestseller status of less well-written books as an encouragement -- if someone is this entertaining even with that level of ability, I can probably do it better :)

There's still a space for self-publication, but that'd be off-topic -- maybe one of us will start a thread to explore that further. All the best!

[Mermaid Kane]

True on the publication bits.

[Triton-Mahtlinnie]

I suppose I'm a bit odd in that I love writing urban fantasy, but usually try to avoid magic except where absolutely neccessary. I had a grand time world-building with a friend who's a marine biologist. How would merpeople hunt, what would they hunt? What materials could they realistically trade with humans for? What is their society like, who are their leaders?

My main problem with writing is that sometimes the world building is more fun than actually finding a plot somewhere inside it all. :U

[Ransom]

Worldbuilding is more fun than plotting. Amen to that.

[Ransom]

I suppose I'm a bit odd in that I love writing urban fantasy, but usually try to avoid magic except where absolutely neccessary. I had a grand time world-building with a friend who's a marine biologist. How would merpeople hunt, what would they hunt? What materials could they realistically trade with humans for? What is their society like, who are their leaders?

My main problem with writing is that sometimes the world building is more fun than actually finding a plot somewhere inside it all. :U
Just spent some time thinking through the implications -- I'm really impressed that you're making things as detailed as possible :)

If I may ask everymer from my interest in military history...

How would merfolk go to war with each other, and why?
What weapons and technology would they use (as an extension of your idea of their nature)?
What, if any, would their military dealings with humans be?

Feel free to drop your ideas here for the rest of us!

[Merman Dylan Zalrian]

World building is definitely the most fun in writing. Thinking of a plot can be difficult.

Like with war, I think you can argue that the motives for war can make for a good plot.

Maybe it could be restless nobility that wants to take the throne or someone has resources another wants.

People usually go to war to take something by force, conquer, or defend themselves. There are also situations in which diplomatic relationships can pull countries into war. People upset another group of people.

Some examples are Helen of Troy, Boudica, Queen of the Iceni, Roman Conquest and Exapansion, Pre World War 1, Iron Town in Princess Mononoke, and etc.

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[Merman Dylan Zalrian]

As for magic, magic can be a source of conflict. Humans are often a race that doesn't have the ability to wield magic as easy as other races. Still, myths are filled with flying sandals, tridents, a shield that freezes enemies in fear, and etc. So, what if objects of substantial power that allows someone to use more advanced magic provided they wield this object existed.

The Lord of the Rings is literally about a war over a magic ring. Why can't there be other objects of power people fight over.

Also, the Crusades were wars over control of the HOLY City Jerusalem. There doesn't have to be actual magic when you factor in spiritual significance.

In my story, there is an element of power that comes from the spiritual as greater spirits created the world, and then there's the magic from the elements Light, Darkness, Wind, Water, Earth, Fire, and Sleep.

Light is associated with the Sanctuary. Darkness is associated with the Abyss. Wind is associated with the Sky. Water is associated with the Sea. Earth is associated with the Land. Fire is associated with the Volcanoes.

For the spiritual, spiritual power comes from the things that have power because of some kind of significant importance.

The origin spirits that used the power of Creation to create the world and Destruction to shape it. The Sylph Trees that give life to the land. The Radiant and Luminous Corals that sustain the merfolk life cycle. Spirits and Spiritual things aren't wielded as a power that can be used. They hold a presence that is important and significant. They are forces that affect the world in some way. They are often protected, but others who do not understand their purpose might seek to obtain there power... The power to sustain life, create and shape the world, and other forces over a duality. Even in my story, some power is beyond the reach of the most adept in magic.

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[Merman Dylan Zalrian]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p_aLj7_vrIc

I think this is helpful with the whole promotion and publication issue.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qW9pxR1uHBs

This might help with the war ideas.

[Mermaid Kane]

Fire is associated with the Volcanoes.


Sorry, I was reading and giggled a little at that....

So is your Fire element ACTUALLY Fire, or Heat? Volcano =/= Fire. Lava is molten rock. Volcanoes are basically Earth's zits that are popping. Lava and volcanoes falls under the Earth category.

So maybe changing that wouldn't hurt? But people who actually care (like me) about science / magic will get irritated by that.

I know this is the second time I've affronted you. No I'm not trying to attack you. xD

[Ransom]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p_aLj7_vrIc

I think this is helpful with the whole promotion and publication issue.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qW9pxR1uHBs

This might help with the war ideas.
Thanks! Was asking in the context of mer circumstances -- sf mers would have different tools and weapons from fantasy ones. In the real world we have technology that replicates nearly any magic power, so it'll be interesting to see how a talented writer handles each concept.

If anyone is interested in sf I'd love to share more, probably on my own thread though.

[Merman Dylan Zalrian]

Thanks! Was asking in the context of mer circumstances -- sf mers would have different tools and weapons from fantasy ones. In the real world we have technology that replicates nearly any magic power, so it'll be interesting to see how a talented writer handles each concept.

If anyone is interested in sf I'd love to share more, probably on my own thread though.
Feel free to share your ideas here. Science Fiction is still a genre for merfolk. I think we might be divided on genre and what we want in our stories. I think science fiction merfolk can be just as awesome as fantasy merfolk.

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[Merman Dylan Zalrian]

I think conflict among merfolk would not be too different than humans. I also think the kind of conflict would be dependent on the story. I can share a conflict in my World of Wayward Tides's past if you want an example from the context of the world I created. The only reason I'm not sharing too many personal examples is because the events in my world context and perspectives might be different from what someone else might need for their world.

Just ask, and I will share something specific. Also, the most up to date lore can be found on Patreon. I'm not for profit right now, so I don't mind sharing one or two things.

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[Ransom]

Go ahead and share what you're comfortable with, thanks! I'll be sure to check your Patreon out too.

I'm quite intrigued by Kane's question too, so would love to hear your solution as well. It's beta reading, and she's raising concerns readers will have while it's still early enough to address them :)

[Merman Dylan Zalrian]

Go ahead and share what you're comfortable with, thanks! I'll be sure to check your Patreon out too.
I plan on making an update to the content on there. In fact, I've been pretty busy working on an update to the chapters. So, there's no rush. It's a big update, so it's going to take time... So many outlines to look at.

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[Triton-Mahtlinnie]

I'm writing in an alternate 1910's (where the main difference is that humans know merfolk exist), so the conflict is one still faced in our world. The humans want to move the merfolk off their land (or bays, in this case) to develop/fish/exploit the area for themselves. In one case, a pod was moved so their bay could be turned into a sawmill and shipping port.

Another problem is increasing numbers of boats on the water, the construction of a large bridge, and the military wanted to put a testing range in the area. (These are all actual things that happened in history to the area I've set my story in, though obviously they didn't have to deal with merfolk when working on these projects xD )

[Merman Dylan Zalrian]

I'm writing in an alternate 1910's (where the main difference is that humans know merfolk exist), so the conflict is one still faced in our world. The humans want to move the merfolk off their land (or bays, in this case) to develop/fish/exploit the area for themselves. In one case, a pod was moved so their bay could be turned into a sawmill and shipping port.

Another problem is increasing numbers of boats on the water, the construction of a large bridge, and the military wanted to put a testing range in the area. (These are all actual things that happened in history to the area I've set my story in, though obviously they didn't have to deal with merfolk when working on these projects xD )
That sounds really awesome. Can merfolk and humans communicate?

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[Triton-Mahtlinnie]

In my world, yes they can. Though not all merfolk speak English, those who work with or trade with humans have at least a good grasp of the language. (the main character in this story is a merman who works raising or salvaging wrecked ships, and often has to negotiate with humans). The pod central to the story is trying to raise the money to buy their land, to prevent it from being developed, hence why they work with people. Problems, of course, ensue.

[Prince Calypso]

I've been wanting to get some feedback on a story I'm currently working on cause I'm stuck at a point in the story where I don't really know where to go with it

[Merman Dylan Zalrian]

In my world, yes they can. Though not all merfolk speak English, those who work with or trade with humans have at least a good grasp of the language. (the main character in this story is a merman who works raising or salvaging wrecked ships, and often has to negotiate with humans). The pod central to the story is trying to raise the money to buy their land, to prevent it from being developed, hence why they work with people. Problems, of course, ensue.

Merfolk and Humans speak English for the most part. A unique language is a difficult thing. However, I found that dialect is definitely helpful with this. For example, the US, UK, and Australia are all English speaking countries, but they have phrases that one might not understand in a country outside of their country of origin. My merfolk are similar in that regard. Merfolk use words differently.

I think that whatever you are doing is awesome. I just thought I would share my idea for anyone that might benefit from it.

[Merman Dylan Zalrian]

I've been wanting to get some feedback on a story I'm currently working on cause I'm stuck at a point in the story where I don't really know where to go with it

I would love to be able to help, but reading your actual story and doing a peer review is something I must reserve to paying patrons. This is out of respect to those who are Patrons. What I can do is respond to the idea you are struggling with in the general sense.

[Merman Dylan Zalrian]

I've just gone through tons of outlines and background information on Patreon, and there is still a lot more to go. I've changed it to $1 for full access to my outlines and extra background information about my story. Anyways, I'm just taking a break before I dive back into the world building.

[Mermaid Kane]

Dylan, are you avoided what I and Ransom have pointed out?

[Merman Dylan Zalrian]

Dylan, are you avoided what I and Ransom have pointed out?
I'm not sure I understand. I might have overlooked something. To be honest, I've been more focused on my update. Can you repeat what you mentioned?

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[Ransom]

I'm not sure I understand. I might have overlooked something. To be honest, I've been more focused on my update. Can you repeat what you mentioned?

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No problem. It's something in the elemental magic you mentioned -- you associate volcanoes with fire, but since their lava is molten rock it could be more appropriate to link them to earth instead.

[Merman Dylan Zalrian]

No problem. It's something in the elemental magic you mentioned -- you associate volcanoes with fire, but since their lava is molten rock it could be more appropriate to link them to earth instead.
I kinda disagree with associating volcanoes with the Earth. Molten Rock is lava and magma, and lava and magma burns. On Earth, we have this thing called the ring of fire which basically is the name for a series of Volcanoes that surround the pacific tectonic plate. So from a real world perspective, you already have volcanoes associated with fire.

There's also the thing I said about magic having various sources and etc for various reasons. I understand that you have your opinion, and I do thank you for sharing said opinion. I will definitely take it under consideration while working on my story.

I make it a policy to avoid trying to convince people to see the story as I do. I understand that my ideas will leave different people with different opinions. So, in that sense, I'm not going to go into detail to try and explain everything as the time it takes to try and explain everything in detail might be better put working on the world building.

To repeat and clarify something I already said, the elements have their associations with different geographical regions like the Sea and Water, Volcanoes and Fire, Land and Earth, Forests and Wind, Darkness and Abyss, Light and Sanctuary, Sleep and Dream Realm for more than one reason.

So, I have rhyme and reason for this structure. I leave it to the readers to take from it what they will. It should also be important to note that I also stated that magic becomes more like a blend of the elements. The elements just provide a framework.

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[Ransom]

I kinda disagree with associating volcanoes with the Earth. Molten Rock is lava and magma, and lava and magma burns. On Earth, we have this thing called the ring of fire which basically is the name for a series of Volcanoes that surround the pacific tectonic plate. So from a real world stand point, you already have volcanoes associated with fire.

There's also the thing I said about magic having various sources and etc for various reasons. I understand that you have your opinion, and I do thank you for sharing said opinion. I will definitely take it under consideration while working on my story.

I make it a policy to not try and convince people to see the story as I do. I understand that my ideas will leave different people with different opinions. So, in that sense, I'm not going to go into detail to try and explain everything as the time it takes to try and explain everything in detail might be better put working on the world building.

To repeat and clarify something I already said, the elements have their associations with different geographical regions like the Sea and Water, Volcanoes and Fire, Land and Earth, Forests and Wind, Darkness and Abyss, Light and Sanctuary, Sleep and Dream Realm for more than one reason.

So, I have rhyme and reason for this structure. I leave it to the readers to take from it what they will. It should also be important to note that I also stated that magic becomes more like a blend of the elements. The elements just provide a framework.

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Yup, thanks for the explanation! It can be hard showing readers the rules, but I'm sure you'll do great :)

[Merman Dylan Zalrian]

Yup, thanks for the explanation! It can be hard showing readers the rules, but I'm sure you'll do great :)
It's not easy. I have a whole book to write. [emoji2]

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[Merman Dylan Zalrian]

I want to share some more of the music that helps to inspire certain themes in my story. These songs help me by invoking certain emotions and remember certain information.

Atlantis Reborn is a song that helps me remember things about Dylan Tidalian and I feel like I can get more into his head listening to this song.

https://youtu.be/-hQt3LTGWxM

Across the Evergreen is a song that helps me get inside Kai's head. The music helps me imagine my characters in various parts of the world. In this case, I can imagine Kai flying through the sky.

https://youtu.be/dEv_6kOHU88

The name United We Stand Divided We Fall speaks for itself. This song reminds me of a last stand against a force that threatens to destroy everything.

https://youtu.be/z0zdqeivGaU

Coral Reef is a song that helps me remember things about Marianous and the underwater world. I feel like if there was a specific kind of music that played in the background in Marianous it might be something upbeat like this.

https://youtu.be/8Mk2WoupmGM

Kokiri Forest Theme from the legend of Zelda Ocarina of Time really captures the feelings of the Sylph as I imagine them.

https://youtu.be/mKXS64eMgsg



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[Merman Dylan Zalrian]

I added magic vs science fiction to the list of topics. When I get home, I will try to share information regarding magic in my story. I hope that by sharing more of what I'm doing it can help others with their writing.

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[Prince Calypso]

I would love to be able to help, but reading your actual story and doing a peer review is something I must reserve to paying patrons. This is out of respect to those who are Patrons. What I can do is respond to the idea you are struggling within the general sense.

oh no, I wasn't looking for a review. just somewhere to bounce ideas around other than my own head lol
talk about the premise of the story and maybe get some ideas from anyone willing to contribute.

[Merman Dylan Zalrian]

oh no, I wasn't looking for a review. just somewhere to bounce ideas around other than my own head lol
talk about the premise of the story and maybe get some ideas from anyone willing to contribute.
I can definitely help with that, and I'm sure others would love to help too.

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[Merman Dylan Zalrian]

This is subject to change, but I thought I would share some of my ideas about magic and its use in my story.

The origin magic is Sanctuarian Light and Abyssal Darkness or Pure Light and Pure Darkness. Magic in its purest form has primal power. Sanctuarian Light and Abyssal Darkness are special because they are light and dark magic amplified in power. Light magic can't overcome Abyssal Darkness, but the Dark magic can't overcome the Sanctuarian Light. Sanctuarian Light and Abyssal Darkness cancel each other out.



Sleep magic comes at the risk of becoming lost in the distortion of dreams. Humans have tried to use Sleep magic, but they only ended up leaving their bodies behind as their spirits get lost. Only the Spirits of the Forest can freely navigate the distortions of the fragmented Realm of the Dreams. Consequently, a human spirit that wanders the realm of sleep too long becomes a forgotten soul of the Forest. These forgotten souls are kept at rest by the Sylph. Sleep magic is also used by the Sylph to keep the spirits of the dead in the Dream Realm until they eventually fade from existence.



Water Magic is a specialty of merfolk who are well versed in conjuring storms and changing the currents. Other merfolk are experts with healing and defensive magic. Merfolk that can conjure lightning is not common. Ancient Merfolk possessed the most powerful creation and healing magic. The power to manipulate the different states of water and give it different properties is a skill developed when Merfolk were at war with each other.



Wind Magic is a specialty of the Sylph who can conjure gusts of wind and manipulate it fairly effortlessly. Wind Magic was once wielded by humans to conjure winds to move boats with sails. Most humans never cared enough for the wind magic to master its full potential. It's possible most humans lacked the same degree of imagination and creativity as the Sylph. This could be a consequence of Humans becoming adults while the Sylph remain childlike.



Fire Magic is a specialty of the Drakens who can breathe flames that can be used to enchant various objects. Humans learned from the Land Drakens the destructive power of channeling flames. Merfolk learned the art of conjuring lightning from Sea Drakens. The Draken Breaths are at the heart of most fire magic. Drakens are born from an eruption of fire, die when the fires they are born from are extinguished, and a new draken is born when the fires ignite again.



Terra magic is something that the Sylph mastered in one sense, and the Dun'ra People learned in another sense. Sylph use terra magic to encourage the growth of plants and the expansion of the forest and plant life. The unique circumstances of Dun'ra being void of most life as a desert wasteland has resulted in terra magic being used to carve out hidden villages underground away from the harsh elements and the undead and forgotten souls that wander through the desert.

[Mermaid Kane]

Nice explanation of magic. <3

One thing I was raising my eyebrow at is the Sylphs however. Sylphs are the elemental spirits of air, with their Queen living on the tallest mountain. But they seem to be attached to Terra element, as well as the forest and air. Is there a reason you have it this way? Curious to know. :)

(Also, where are the Undines, Salamanders, and gnomes?)

[Merman Dylan Zalrian]

Nice explanation of magic. <3

One thing I was raising my eyebrow at is the Sylphs however. Sylphs are the elemental spirits of air, with their Queen living on the tallest mountain. But they seem to be attached to Terra element, as well as the forest and air. Is there a reason you have it this way? Curious to know. :)

(Also, where are the Undines, Salamanders, and gnomes?)
I'm using the name Sylph because of their affiliation with air, but they aren't true Sylphs. Sylph just happens to be the best name I can come up with for them. The Sylph are the most complex of the 4 races.

A Sylph is born when a Sylpheron Tree Sprouts. Even when a Sylpheron Tree is cut down a Sylph can be reborn when a new Sylpheron Tree Sprouts. At the heart of every forest is an Ancient and Spiritual Tree called the Sylph Tree. The Sylph Tree is the source of life on land. The Sylph Tree nurtures life on land through the Sylpheron Trees that are like extensions of the Sylph Tree. Basically, the Sylpheron Trees allows for plants to grow and animals to thrive. Sylpheron Trees also prevent plagues and blights. The Sylph born from the Sylpheron Trees help to prevent the dead from rising after death.

Maybe I should call the Sylph the Sylpheron.

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[Ransom]

I'm using the name Sylph because of their affiliation with air, but they aren't true Sylphs. Sylph just happens to be the best name I can come up with for them. The Sylph are the most complex of the 4 races.

A Sylph is born when a Sylpheron Tree Sprouts. Even when a Sylpheron Tree is cut down a Sylph can be reborn when a new Sylpheron Tree Sprouts. At the heart of every forest is an Ancient and Spiritual Tree called the Sylph Tree. The Sylph Tree is the source of life on land. The Sylph Tree nurtures life on land through the Sylpheron Trees that are like extensions of the Sylph Tree. Basically, the Sylpheron Trees allows for plants to grow and animals to thrive. Sylpheron Trees also prevent plagues and blights. The Sylph born from the Sylpheron Trees help to prevent the dead from rising after death.

Maybe I should call the Sylph the Sylpheron.

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Hey Dylan, love how much you've thought through your system. Thanks Kane for your input too!

As a former professional editor I really wish I could be the beta reader for everyone here, but time sadly doesn't permit it. An understanding but honest friend or family member works very well for the role.

Note that a published author will not; they get asked to critique manuscripts all the time, but they always say no. The reason they give could be legal ("I don't want anyone to think I might be stealing their ideas and sue me.") or personal ("If I did that I wouldn't be able to write. I'll just ignore it till the end of time.").

Beta reading is your chance to get honest eyes on your story before the market does... and the market has loads more brutality and none of the friendship. Just read Amazon reviews for proof [emoji14]

Here's a great article on beta reader etiquette -
www.helpingwritersbecomeauthors.com/beta-reader-etiquette

Hope it helps!

[Merman Dylan Zalrian]

Hey Dylan, love how much you've thought through your system. Thanks Kane for your input too!

As a former professional editor I really wish I could be the beta reader for everyone here, but time sadly doesn't permit it. An understanding but honest friend or family member works very well for the role.

Note that a published author will not; they get asked to critique manuscripts all the time, but they always say no. The reason they give could be legal ("I don't want anyone to think I might be stealing their ideas and sue me.") or personal ("If I did that I wouldn't be able to write. I'll just ignore it till the end of time.").

Beta reading is your chance to get honest eyes on your story before the market does... and the market has loads more brutality and none of the friendship. Just read Amazon reviews for proof [emoji14]

Here's a great article on beta reader etiquette -
www.helpingwritersbecomeauthors.com/beta-reader-etiquette

Hope it helps!
Thanks for the advice. I know that things are subject to change. My challenge with advice comes down to the fact that I have my story on Patreon. People can see a lot of the in depth details on there for a $1 a month. They also get early access to chapters as I write them. A time will come when chapters will not be made public. Because of my activities on Patreon, it would be unfair to my patrons if I shared anything more that is specific to my story.

I don't want to discourage people from seeking advice, and I honestly do believe that Ransom shared some incredibly helpful advice. Beta Reading is something I have requested of people. I usually have very strict conditions for that. Patreon is just one way of sharing the world I'm creating and the chapters.

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[Merman Dylan Zalrian]

I think I'm going to keep the name Sylph for my fairy children race. I understand that the forest is not truly what Sylphs are associated with, but I think there is enough ambiguity with the Sylph for me to use the name.

I'm still looking at different names though.

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[Prince Calypso]

ok so the premise of my story starts out pretty dark so bare with me
my main character never knew his mother. he was told she drowned when he was only a baby (typical I know but if it ant broke don't fix it)
he's raped a little before his 16th birthday and feels so guilt and sadness over it he tries to kill himself by jumping off a cliff into the ocean. only issue is he wakes up on the beach the following day perfectly fine
he manages to make it home and finds that his appearance has changed a bit. skin, hair, body type all slightly altered.
before he can really come to grips with all this though he finds his father has been hurt in a boating accident and is in critical care leaving him at the mercy of the state and at risk of being sent to a group home or orphanage until his father recovers.
but he saved from this by two mysterious young women who say they are his sisters, the daughters of his late mother

and that as far as I've gotten

[Ransom]

Thanks for your synopsis, Calypso! Just out of curiosity, do you intend this for an adult, teen or YA audience? I'm guessing YA, given the protagonist's age of 16.

Each has different expectations, and writing for adults lets you get away with darkness and edginess that YA books don't. Part of the reality of the market is that a YA protagonist is expected to be a role model and someone readers can readily identify with. Is someone with that kind of past also someone you can make the audience really care about and root for?

(I'm not saying it's impossible, just that it's harder.)

Get audience expectation right early on, and it'll save you a ton of rewriting later.

[Mermaid Kane]

Thanks for your synopsis, Calypso! Just out of curiosity, do you intend this for an adult, teen or YA audience? I'm guessing YA, given the protagonist's age of 16.


I know I at least enjoy writing as a adult--from late twenties to thirties. It's enjoyable to a avoid the obnoxious hormones teens have, ahaha.

[Prince Calypso]

Thanks for your synopsis, Calypso! Just out of curiosity, do you intend this for an adult, teen or YA audience? I'm guessing YA, given the protagonist's age of 16.

Each has different expectations, and writing for adults lets you get away with darkness and edginess that YA books don't. Part of the reality of the market is that a YA protagonist is expected to be a role model and someone readers can readily identify with. Is someone with that kind of past also someone you can make the audience really care about and root for?

(I'm not saying it's impossible, just that it's harder.)

Get audience expectation right early on, and it'll save you a ton of rewriting later.

I'm aiming for YA audience. you'd be surprised the dark theme some of the newer generations of young adult novels have really. I mean look at the lost voices trilogy. extremely dark in and of itself but still had a protagonist that many can identify with, and that's just one book series I can name off the top of my head.
I wanted to get away from the H2o teeny bopper magical mermaid, cliche.
I wanted something that explores the harshness and confusion of youth and teenage years coupled with a bit of magic and murder

[Prince Calypso]

I know I at least enjoy writing as a adult--from late twenties to thirties. It's enjoyable to a avoid the obnoxious hormones teens have, ahaha.

while I'm sure it could be done with an aged-up character the way I have the story set up calls for a teenager. the themes and points I'm playing around with just wouldn't work if the main character were oh say my age, a 27-year-old broke college student lol

[Ransom]

I'm aiming for YA audience. you'd be surprised the dark theme some of the newer generations of young adult novels have really. I mean look at the lost voices trilogy. extremely dark in and of itself but still had a protagonist that many can identify with, and that's just one book series I can name off the top of my head.
I wanted to get away from the H2o teeny bopper magical mermaid, cliche.
I wanted something that explores the harshness and confusion of youth and teenage years coupled with a bit of magic and murder
Definitely, I've read plenty of dark YA stuff myself. I think it works well provided young readers can see themselves (or whoever they want to be) in some way within the protagonist.

Yup, I hate cliches as much as the next mer [emoji14] All the best bringing your hero to life!

[Prince Calypso]

Definitely, I've read plenty of dark YA stuff myself. I think it works well provided young readers can see themselves (or whoever they want to be) in some way within the protagonist.
Yup, I hate cliches as much as the next mer [emoji14] All the best bringing your hero to life!

thank you. I'm hoping to get past my extremely stubborn writer's block soon.
so far I kinda know how I want the story to go and but I'm coming up blank on an ending

[Ransom]

thank you. I'm hoping to get past my extremely stubborn writer's block soon.
so far I kinda know how I want the story to go and but I'm coming up blank on an ending
I hate when I don't take my own advice -- I can't help comparing my own fiction to published work from authors like Eoin Colfer or Anthony Horowitz, and I largely gave up. One day I'll have another go at it.

But the reason I bring these writers up is that they've built strong series-length work around characters like Artemis Fowl and Alex Rider. In each volume they've to figure out how to end the story in a way that solves enough problems that it stands on its own, yet leaves enough threads to set up the next volume.

I suggest studying those endings that really worked for you. How did the protagonist change? How does the struggle against the villain mark him forever? What is he capable of now that he wasn't before? This is the so-called 'apotheosis' that the classical Hero's Journey builds towards.

As long as the reader leaves satisfied, you've done your job -- and don't worry, you've as many rough drafts as you need to get it right.

Hope this helps! If you'd like to read more, Writer's Digest has a great selection of how-to-write books.

[Mermaid Delphinidae]

I also write about merfolk, though right now it’s going through a bit of an overhaul so some of this stuff is gonna change.

The story takes place within a larger universe where magic and magical creatures are hidden from the world, (there’s a story behind this) though in this one a lot of magic folk disagree with the rule and eventually magic is revealed and both types of people have to deal with the change. For the merfolk stories, the reveal doesn’t happen until a while in because I want to focus on the merfolk world. So many merfolk stories are focused more on them interacting with the surface world and I’d really like to see more stuff taking place underwater.

The merfolk series is a “chosen ones” type of series where some magical merfolk heroes, the Guardians of the Sea, reincarnate after death. New lives, but magic powers intact. The new Guardians, each from a different part of the world, are identified and brought to a palace to train for their new roles. Being a Guardian comes with lots of challenges on top of the stuff they’re already dealing with. They go around to protect the citizens of the ocean from all manner of threats, often large and sometimes magical. There are lots of conflicts and battles, life under the sea can be just as chaotic and violent and terrifying as life above it!

Human stuff only gets referenced early on, as I said, I don’t want that to have much focus right away. A major plot development is when they find a merman has been interacting with humans, marine researchers. They decide to let it continue because he helps them do work that helps the ocean, and they become major supporters of revealing magic. When the reveal does happen, the undersea world is suddenly in contact with the surface world (even the surface world magical community hasn't had much contact with the merfolk) and the Guardians have to work to keep the peace.

[Prince Calypso]

I hate when I don't take my own advice -- I can't help comparing my own fiction to published work from authors like Eoin Colfer or Anthony Horowitz, and I largely gave up. One day I'll have another go at it.

But the reason I bring these writers up is that they've built strong series-length work around characters like Artemis Fowl and Alex Rider. In each volume they've to figure out how to end the story in a way that solves enough problems that it stands on its own, yet leaves enough threads to set up the next volume.

I suggest studying those endings that really worked for you. How did the protagonist change? How does the struggle against the villain mark him forever? What is he capable of now that he wasn't before? This is the so-called 'apotheosis' that the classical Hero's Journey builds towards.

As long as the reader leaves satisfied, you've done your job -- and don't worry, you've as many rough drafts as you need to get it right.

Hope this helps! If you'd like to read more, Writer's Digest has a great selection of how-to-write books.

That's actually really good advice. thank you

[Ransom]

That's actually really good advice. thank you
You're most welcome, hope it helps!

@Delphinidae -- that looks interesting, all the best! Remember finishing the first draft means most of the hard work is behind you :)

[Ransom]

This seminar of writing advice from SF writer James Alan Gardner is the single best thing I've read about how to write well, and better than a lot of the stuff I've paid for. You could spend a LONG time putting it into practice: https://jamesalangardner.wordpress.com/a-seminar-on-writing-prose.

Hope everymer finds it helpful!