New York Mermaid
03-10-2012, 04:03 PM
(VENT ALERT- I repeat- Vent Ahead, Swim at your own risk!!)
In the past few weeks I have been going through alot,not that i actually say much on here about my personal life, but Currently Im dealing with my parents who are- or rather- have been divorced for quite sometime -8 yrs) At this moment My 57yr old dad's health has been steadily declining due to a tumor which he is being treated for. My mother has been giving me nothing but grief. Ever since the divorce, she's had nothing but hatred for my dad - who has not contacted or seen her (unless in court or medical reasons) in the past 8 years. She continues to complain about everything wrong my dad has done. My dad however has put it aside, he says he still loves my mom, and though their divorced- if she needs help he will always be there. (he's proven this when, a few months after the divorce my mother was very sick, he was by her side none the less) She doesnt want my little brother to contact my dad unless my dad talks to my little sister (My little sister wants nothing to do with my father). My dad knows my little sister doesnt want anything to do with him, but dad says he wants to reach out to them, to find "common ground", but not if its forced. If thats not enough, the moment i mention my father- for any reason- Mom begins to go off on me on how my father was irresponsible etc etc.. This stresses me out, because even if i try to reason with her, or explain i dont want to hear anything negative about my dad, then she goes off on me how i "defend" my father..
And I just dont get it, My father is sick, she knows this and the last thing i want to hear is my mom talking down about my dad. She just cant get over it. Lets face it, no one is perfect at all. But if my dad is making attempts to "fix" things with his kids before something terrible happens, why not just let all the anger go and let it be? I havent really talked about it, But i saw the X-Rays in late october, i knew something was up, my dad decided to tell me 2 days before christmas eve that he has a tumor and their giving him 2 options one of which is surgery. My dad had back surgery to replace 3 disks and add a metal rod last april- Now they will have to reopen the same place to get the tumor out..if they can.
I love and respect both my parents, I have no favoritisim to either or, My dad supported my dreams, my mom has helped me as well. Im just baffled at all of this, I am a strong person and I can hold my own, which might be why im going through my own health issues as well. My husband has noticed my lack of willingness to eat and my constant tired state. He figure's its one of two things, depression or hypothyroidisim. (which it might be attributing to my rapid weight gain considering how little i eat) I feel so lost at what to do at times, I just bury myself in work, or a book..something.And then there are those times when i feel like im going to snap at someone, but i try to keep calm. Ever since I saw the xrays I knew and i keep feeling that a tragedy is coming my way. I lost so many family members last year, relatives, but not immediate family. If my father passes well, I know he tried to do right in his time here. My mom..shes another story.
Thanks for reading, I just feel that i need to get it out i guess.
In the past few weeks I have been going through alot,not that i actually say much on here about my personal life, but Currently Im dealing with my parents who are- or rather- have been divorced for quite sometime -8 yrs) At this moment My 57yr old dad's health has been steadily declining due to a tumor which he is being treated for. My mother has been giving me nothing but grief. Ever since the divorce, she's had nothing but hatred for my dad - who has not contacted or seen her (unless in court or medical reasons) in the past 8 years. She continues to complain about everything wrong my dad has done. My dad however has put it aside, he says he still loves my mom, and though their divorced- if she needs help he will always be there. (he's proven this when, a few months after the divorce my mother was very sick, he was by her side none the less) She doesnt want my little brother to contact my dad unless my dad talks to my little sister (My little sister wants nothing to do with my father). My dad knows my little sister doesnt want anything to do with him, but dad says he wants to reach out to them, to find "common ground", but not if its forced. If thats not enough, the moment i mention my father- for any reason- Mom begins to go off on me on how my father was irresponsible etc etc.. This stresses me out, because even if i try to reason with her, or explain i dont want to hear anything negative about my dad, then she goes off on me how i "defend" my father..
And I just dont get it, My father is sick, she knows this and the last thing i want to hear is my mom talking down about my dad. She just cant get over it. Lets face it, no one is perfect at all. But if my dad is making attempts to "fix" things with his kids before something terrible happens, why not just let all the anger go and let it be? I havent really talked about it, But i saw the X-Rays in late october, i knew something was up, my dad decided to tell me 2 days before christmas eve that he has a tumor and their giving him 2 options one of which is surgery. My dad had back surgery to replace 3 disks and add a metal rod last april- Now they will have to reopen the same place to get the tumor out..if they can.
I love and respect both my parents, I have no favoritisim to either or, My dad supported my dreams, my mom has helped me as well. Im just baffled at all of this, I am a strong person and I can hold my own, which might be why im going through my own health issues as well. My husband has noticed my lack of willingness to eat and my constant tired state. He figure's its one of two things, depression or hypothyroidisim. (which it might be attributing to my rapid weight gain considering how little i eat) I feel so lost at what to do at times, I just bury myself in work, or a book..something.And then there are those times when i feel like im going to snap at someone, but i try to keep calm. Ever since I saw the xrays I knew and i keep feeling that a tragedy is coming my way. I lost so many family members last year, relatives, but not immediate family. If my father passes well, I know he tried to do right in his time here. My mom..shes another story.
Thanks for reading, I just feel that i need to get it out i guess.