Actually Considered Quitting Mermaiding...

[Princess Kae-Leah]

The thing is, to me, mermaiding is not just about dressing up in my tail, but living a lifestyle of doing all I can to protect the oceans, and being a peaceful, harmonious, compassionate person, as that's how I imagine merfolk to be like. I have these very deeply held beliefs about what I belief is right and ethical that so many have such a hard time understanding, and while I do not for a minute expect everyone to agree with me, I'm tired and frustrated from being so misunderstood at times and feeling so different from other mers. It's so hard for me to be strong and confident and take criticism maturely, that I'm not so sure sometimes that the whole mermaiding thing is worth it for me. Any tips on how to feel more confident?

[Prince Calypso]

sweety got gotta pic yourself up out of this funk. at one point we of the mermaid community were far and in between and new nothing of each other. when i found out there were other people out there just as obsessed with mermaids as i was it like omg really! but im still an individual, as a fem gay guy i realize that i will always be a bit out of sorts with the rest of the mermaid community but mermaiding makes me happy regardless if other agree with my views of how i do it or if they disagree. we are a community and every community has it's outcast, even in a community of outcast who bond over common ground.

if you feel that you should take a break from mermaid then do but i don't think you should give up on i all together. i would hate to see there mermaid world loose one of it's own.
besides you have to realize that not everyone is always gonna agree with you or share your views and beliefs

[Nate Walis]

Kae-Leah, if I might make an observation based on some of the threads that you have started around this forum and the comments that you have made? It seems that you have deep runnng reasons for the choices that you have made in becomming a part of this community and those resonate to the centre of your self-esteem and the person that you are striving to be. But at the same time there is a very vulnerable side to the persona that you present around here as well and the combination of such sensetive beliefs ease of being hurt by even the most innocent misunderstanding of them is not healthy for your mental and emotional state.

I worry that you are looking for something from your mermaid alter ego that goes far beyond the purposes that most of the people who make use of similar mermaid identities for. Could this be the source of the way in which you seem to feel as though the reaction to your stated values has not been what you expected?

[AniaR]

KL, I feel like everyone accepts you, except YOU ;) <3

[Alveric]

Just relax and enjoy being different. Normal is so terribly over-rated.

Alveric

[Joy&RaptorsUnrestrained!]

We might have disagreements on what makes sense for merfolk in legends, literature, biology and culture, but you should know that I admire you for your convictions, creativity and attitude. I'm not sure I know anyone who takes criticism maturely (I doubt I do), and I admit we clash over some ideas, but I believe that conflict, questioning, and exploring the possibilities, even if they go contrary to one's beliefs, actually can strengthen the beliefs and purge them of flaws, not crumble them. You put on a tail, you spread your message, you write stories, and you are reaching people. It seems a shame to lose someone so passionate in her beliefs and enjoyment simply because of frustration.

As for being different, I think that everyone is different. Not in the same way, not in the same manner, not in the same attitude, but everyone is unique. I'm not sure what is causing you to consider quitting, but sometimes a flower needs to bloom, even if it's not planted among identical flowers, and that is what makes it stand out among the rest.

As for quitting, giving up, confidence, etc, I've always found these themes from The Man of La Mancha to be helpful.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RfHnzYEHAow

[SweeteSiren]

The thing is, to me, mermaiding is not just about dressing up in my tail, but living a lifestyle of doing all I can to protect the oceans, and being a peaceful, harmonious, compassionate person, as that's how I imagine merfolk to be like.

Kae-Leah, I understand how you feel, I also have deep-seated reasons for mermaiding that I know most of the community would not understand. I'm not as brave as you are about telling people, but I hope to be someday. If you don't mind my putting in my two cents, the fact that you've made a lifestyle out of mermaiding is the very reason why you can't quit: you would be giving up a part of yourself. Your posts are always so meaningful, and steer clear of the interpersonal drama that so many of us run aground on. Our community would lose its luster without people like you. :)
The next time you feel down, remember that you are your own worst critic. The rest of us love you!

[Sea Pearl]

I know it may seems like things can get overwhelming at times but never give up on what you are so passionate about! :) You are very much part of this community!

[green52]

I agree with pretty much all of the above.

[MermaidMisty]

Whenever you show people who you really are and what you really believe, there's a chance that instead of accepting and loving us like we'd like them to, the person may instead stomp on our identities and spit in our faces. I think that when this happens repeatedly we have two general options: we can burn out and give up, or we can come at it from an angle of sympathy and understanding. The first is easy, the second is not. But when similar things have happened in my life, I've found that the times I handled myself best were the times that I said to myself "It's horrible that they don't understand this, and I'm so sorry that they can't possibly feel the incredible joy this brings to my life. I wish that I could heal their pain so they wouldn't have to lash out at others due to their misunderstanding, but at least I know that it is not truly me they lash out at but rather their own inner demons." And sometimes, a miracle occurs: sometimes, when you look at it from this angle, they come back. Sometimes they come back long after we've forgotten and they say "I'm sorry I treated you like this. I understand better now." And there are few feelings that compare to feeling like you helped someone grow into a more compassionate human being. :)

[Alveric]

Thank you Misty, a lot of people need to read that. There would be less drama.

Alveric

[Ayla of Duluth]

Nate, your post actually made me think about myself. What you stated to Kae-Leah, I felt like I related so much to it, like someone actually understands me. In trying to make Kae-Leah feel better about herself, you actually helped me feel better about myself as well. Thank you. :)

[Kanti]

If you need to take a break, that's fine. Maybe you need to rediscover your purpose or method
But quitting something that you seem to relatively enjoy doesn't seem like a good solution, either.
Perhaps you just need a different approach?
I think the bottom of it all is that you just need to believe in yourself a little more :')
You're good at what you do when you put your mind to it~

[Coradion]

I don't think there's any magical solution to what you're feeling. If it's something you -could- actually quit doing then it's not as important as you think it is, now is it? If you think being a mermaid and loving the oceans is integral to who you are and that will never change, then delete this thread and go do what matters to you regardless of what other people say or think. If you need a break then turn off your computer, put on your tail and go to an aquarium or a beach and enjoy the day or maybe join a volunteer/activism program.

[Lyna]

well hun...everyone has moments when they feel like giving up on something that they love. a lot of people will try to get you done because they don't understand what it is you're doing or because they don't have a passion for it themselves. but i don't think there is a single person on this site that will agree with those rude people who are making you feel bummed out. i'm glad that you have a passion for mermaiding and it makes you feel better. i have seen the pics of you in you chair and it gave me so much more respect for you and understanding for why you love mermaids. you're beautiful.