Need advice on whether to quit a venu

[Mermaid Oracle]

This may be more appropriate for the drama thread so feel free to remove and I apologize if so.

Im concerned about the mermaid volunteer gig I do. It’s sending up some red flags, but I also feel terrible because I’m fond of my pod and want this venu to succeed. Here’s the issues:

We have no private changing space, and I’ve had people walk in on me mid-change, once topless (switching from a shell bra to a t shirt). We are alone usually in our tails with no staff checking in on us at all, and once I was left to sit for half an hour before a staff member finally showed up to block the door so people wouldn’t come in so we could switch out girls; I wasn’t about to remove my tail with kids around and ruin the fantasy. These are 4 hour gigs. The tank I was “hired” to swim in is currently broken (we’ve been working on some fund raising), but I didn’t sign up to be an exclusively dry performer. The tank had some issues beyond that and would have had sharks in it. The final straw was despite me giving two weeks notice I wouldn’t be there for my shift, no coverage was found and I was told it was my responsibility to find a replacement (not stated at the outset and we have a limited number of ladies with limited schedules).

I love mermaiding. I love working with kids. I WANT this venu to succeed so badly because our community needs it. The smiles and hugs from the kids make it all worth it, so don’t get me wrong. I’m not bitter about it at all.

Im just concerned about the potential safety issues and lack of concern for our wellbeing as performers. I’ve brought it up multiple times and nothing is changing. I’m so grateful for the opportunity and the realization of a dream, that I feel guilty. I’m worried about drama and hurting peoples feelings, especially those I care about.

So, what would you do? Would you quit the venue and give up the gig or tough it out and hope for improvement?

[Seaspray Mermaid]

I would have a chat with the higher-ups. Bring them all of your concerns and remind them that all mermaids are to be respected. I would also double check your region's laws around performance and go over all your work related paperwork. The point the venue needs to understand is mer performers have rights and need to be protected. Sending you starfish wishes for the best!

[shimmygoddess]

Is this a paid gig or volunteer? b/c that might help with your decision on how to proceed. I was doing an appearance at a local festival. We also had no private area and I ended up having to set up our own festival tent with an area partitioned off in the back so I could change. It was not easy and when the weather was cold it was NOT fun. (I would have several costume changes a day from dance to mermaid and back to dance, ect. We also had noone to help us and I had to recruit my husband. After several years of this, I decided to not participate anymore, since they still didn't have any funds in the budget for mermaids.

my advice is that you def. need an assistant, if you can't get anyone, then you are screwed and have to wait for someone. Sometimes places dont have private areas for changing, but you would think they would try to find you somewhere. (We have a dance event every month and we have to use the restrooms for changing) :(

Def. talk to a manager about your concerns and if are not able to accommodate you have to decide if its worth all the trouble. Good luck

edit: Try not to count on improvements b/c you might be very disappointed. Every year I would try something slightly different and nothing was ever perfect. We had alot of problems at the festival and when I tried to see if they could get some volunteers to help with my husband, they couldnt spare anyone. If they are not willing to help, then I realized they dont really care all that much. Now if I was getting paid, then I might have a different opinion. ;)

[Slim]

The more I read this the more I think that venue is in Idaho. If it is the one I'm thinking off, I don't think it's going to get any better :(


This may be more appropriate for the drama thread so feel free to remove and I apologize if so.

Im concerned about the mermaid volunteer gig I do. It’s sending up some red flags, but I also feel terrible because I’m fond of my pod and want this venu to succeed. Here’s the issues:

We have no private changing space, and I’ve had people walk in on me mid-change, once topless (switching from a shell bra to a t shirt). We are alone usually in our tails with no staff checking in on us at all, and once I was left to sit for half an hour before a staff member finally showed up to block the door so people wouldn’t come in so we could switch out girls; I wasn’t about to remove my tail with kids around and ruin the fantasy. These are 4 hour gigs. The tank I was “hired” to swim in is currently broken (we’ve been working on some fund raising), but I didn’t sign up to be an exclusively dry performer. The tank had some issues beyond that and would have had sharks in it. The final straw was despite me giving two weeks notice I wouldn’t be there for my shift, no coverage was found and I was told it was my responsibility to find a replacement (not stated at the outset and we have a limited number of ladies with limited schedules).

I love mermaiding. I love working with kids. I WANT this venu to succeed so badly because our community needs it. The smiles and hugs from the kids make it all worth it, so don’t get me wrong. I’m not bitter about it at all.

Im just concerned about the potential safety issues and lack of concern for our wellbeing as performers. I’ve brought it up multiple times and nothing is changing. I’m so grateful for the opportunity and the realization of a dream, that I feel guilty. I’m worried about drama and hurting peoples feelings, especially those I care about.

So, what would you do? Would you quit the venue and give up the gig or tough it out and hope for improvement?

[Mermaid Oracle]

The more I read this the more I think that venue is in Idaho. If it is the one I'm thinking off, I don't think it's going to get any better :(

its without doubt the one you’re thinking of!

In response to you other wonderful folks, it’s volunteer. We didn’t sign any paperwork or anything, and the manager doesn’t really seem to know what to do or something. I’m not sure. He’s def very laid back! Which is really good in a lot of ways don’t get me wrong. However, it is resulting in concerns going outright ignored.

I’d chatted with a girl who left because of a lot of similar issues, but I was assured by the current folks that it was a little bit of drama and miscommunication but not to worry.

Its heartbreakkng because we have so little mermaid opportunity here, and I thought I’d be alone here for soooooo long it was nice to meet others. I want so badly for this to go right >.<

[Slim]

I went ahead and sent you a private message regarding this. I understand your drive you want this to go right.


its without doubt the one you’re thinking of!

In response to you other wonderful folks, it’s volunteer. We didn’t sign any paperwork or anything, and the manager doesn’t really seem to know what to do or something. I’m not sure. He’s def very laid back! Which is really good in a lot of ways don’t get me wrong. However, it is resulting in concerns going outright ignored.

I’d chatted with a girl who left because of a lot of similar issues, but I was assured by the current folks that it was a little bit of drama and miscommunication but not to worry.

Its heartbreakkng because we have so little mermaid opportunity here, and I thought I’d be alone here for soooooo long it was nice to meet others. I want so badly for this to go right >.<

[AniaR]

Even when I am doing a charity gig, they are required to meet my needs and I stress these are for safety and liability etc.

You absolutely need a chancing space. It's not THAT hard for them to throw up a tent, or set aside a room. I've had venues buy tents to put is in. They're cheap.

If I don't have a merwrangler present (sometimes happens when I do educational events) they must have a staff check in

4 hours straight? far too much! I cap my charity appearances at 1-2 hours depending on the event. If I was being paid for 4 hours I'd still insist on a break in between for the bathroom and stretching my legs etc

For a charity booking, you are not required to find your replacement

If this is a volunteer gig I would 100% quit it. I can't believe these people aren't treating you like gold. One of the problems in our industry is how desperate mers are to do certain things that we do them for free. You are doing these people a favour. They should be bending over backwards to accommodate you.

[Mermaid Oracle]

Thank you for chiming in Raina. I really appreciate your perspective; you’ve given me the confidence that I’m not wrong in how I am perceiving things. I worried I was being dramatic or demanding or irrational or something, like they’ve said about the previous paid Mers. I think this Saturday will be my last shift at this venue, if I even give them that. I have a few days to decide at least. Thank you everyone for your feedback.

Raina, would you consider it professional to write a resignation letter of sorts detailing the issues? It’s volunteer, but I can’t help but want to ya doe this professionally and avoid burnt bridges.

[AniaR]

I recently had to quit a charity that I felt was very much taking advantage of my team and mistreating them. My partner Sean wrote the letter letting them know that we wouldn't be able to work with them again, and detailed the reasons why. It helped me to have him write it because I am a very emotional person and the letter would have been 7 pages long. I did write it out to get out all my thoughts and feelings, and then he took that and condensed it into a very professional and precise 1 page letter. We also sent it not only to the person we were dealing with, but the head office and a few others. I didn't want the person we were dealing with to simply ignore it.

it sucks because I really loved the charity itself, but I will find other ways to support it. That particular event just treated my staff like crap and also didn't follow through on the things we needed. They also never credited as as being sponsors for the event but managed to credit the pizza guy lol.

[Saelyyia]

I have had to remove myself from a couple of volunteering event appearances I used to do over the years and I always wrote a letter of resignation to give to my contact and management for the event just out of respect and because it made me feel better in the end. It just felt like the best way to sever the relationship when needs or requirements were no longer being met. That way even if the charity client has a bad taste in their mouth about you leaving you can say you were 100% professional about it.

[Mermaid Oracle]

Thank you all. I ended giving them a polite resignation letter. The owner has reached out to me asking for clarification. I can’t say that I’m confident this will fix anything, as they’ve all but ignored us up til now. However, I’m writing up a polite but firm description of the issues. I can’t say I’ll go back though. I don’t know that being a professional mermaid is for me, so I don’t think I’ll actively seek or create more opportunities but who knows! Ride the ride. Who knows what the year has in store?

[Seaspray Mermaid]

Sounds like you made the right call. Good for you :thumbs-up:

[Mermaid Oracle]

Thanks. A ton more drama has popped up since (chats with the other girls I was left out of but talking mermaid business, a new group text excluding me but referring to me with accompanying screenshots), plus lots of other people talking about their frustrations. I feel like I’ve dodged a harpoon here! I’m glad I figured it out sooner rather than later. Don’t be afraid to swim away guys and gals, is the lesson here. No matter how badly you want something it isn’t worth this kind of thing.