Mer-tivism for other causes

[Ransom]

Not every mer needs a cause, but here's mine -- I hate epilepsy with a vengeance. I hate the destruction of life that results, the loss of not only income but self-worth and dignity, and the utter helplessness of loved ones.

At first I wanted to completely separate it from my mersona, but the more I think about it, the more I realise that mers' causes are truly a blue ocean, no pun intended. I might just change my dream tail idea to reflect the work I'll wind up doing with epilepsy orgs one day.

Ocean cleanup and natural preservation are certainly worthy -- but what others could use a mer championing them, pro or otherwise? If you've done something like that, what worked and what didn't?

I'd love to hear your stories. Many thanks!

[Agent Dragon]

While I am a huge advocate for conservation and animal rights, I’d say my primary concern with society is the stigma surrounding mental health and the poor psychological treatment many people receive. (Trigger warning: lots of talk about suicide ahead)
I have bipolar depression, social anxiety, and borderline personality disorder. No one, myself included, realized that I was mentally ill until I was about eleven, because I never bothered to tell anyone that I’d been suicidal for as long as I can remember. Before then, I had always just been an overdramatic “problem child” in everyone’s eyes. I’m sure that if people talked more openly about mental health, I would not have felt so ashamed that I needed to hide my suicidal urges.
The problems don’t stop there. Things didn’t get better the moment I opened up to my parents and started going to therapy. In fact, many aspects of my “treatment” made things worse. When I told my psychiatrist that I’d been having suicidal thoughts around age 14, she had me sent to a hospital. That was my first time as an inpatient at a psych ward, and those three days are definitely in the running for the most miserable period of my life. The staff were absolutely horrible, telling me flat-out that I was an attention-seeking brat who had “threatened” suicide to get what she wanted. They had to release me once I was stable, but they demanded that my parents send me to a special ed school for kids with emotional disabilities. I thought, “okay, cool, I could totally use some help after that EMOTIONALLY SCARRING EXPERIENCE” but the school was far from what I’d been expecting. There were less than 120 students in the entire building, and yet you could hear screaming out in the halls all day, every day, until the staff decided to put the perpetrator in a straightjacket (no, I’m not kidding) and sedate them. It was hell, but I managed to be a model student. I did all of my homework, was completely honest with my assigned on-site therapist, and was basically perfect. Surely, the faculty would let me out soon, right? Not exactly. It was two years before they finally listened to my pleas and allowed me to start the “mainstreaming” process, where they would gradually transition me to a normal school, starting with just a few periods a day. After I was a few weeks into this process, the staff suddenly thought that I was not ready and decided to send me back to Straightjacket Land for who-knows-how-long. I couldn’t stand that thought, not after I had gotten my first taste of freedom in two years.
So that night, I swallowed an entire bottle of pills. I just couldn’t deal with the screams of my fellow students being the background music of my life, not anymore. Obviously, I was sent to a hospital. This one was much better than the first. The staff were kind and understanding, and I was stable and released within a few days. Then, after a few months, the hellish environment of my school started to wear down at me once more, and I attempted suicide again. After I was released from that hospital, I was put in my school’s residential program to make sure that I didn’t try to overdose a third time. So now, I was not only stuck at this horrid school, but I had to live there, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.
So, I gave up.
I couldn’t fight anymore. There were no knives or ropes or pills in Residence, and even if there were, I probably would’ve just failed again. So, I reverted to how I’d been before age eleven: keeping quiet, obeying rules, forcing smiles. And it worked. I was let out of the residential program after only ten months (a shorter-than-average stay), and not long after that, I was released from that prison of a school altogether.
The moment I stopped receiving that manner of “treatment” was the moment I started to recover.
I still see a therapist every week, and he is immensely helpful. The point I’m trying to make is NOT that mental health professionals are bad. What I’m saying is that they’re overpowered. They’re mostly good, but the bad ones will try to control the lives of their patients, and they can succeed. After all, who’s going to listen to a headcase like me?

***DISCLAIMER: if you are feeling unsafe, you should definitely go to a hospital. Like I said, most mental health professionals are good people who want to help! I just got rotten luck.***

(Okay, I’m done. Sorry for the infodump; hope that wasn’t too much of a downer.)


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[Ransom]

Ouch, Dragon -- I'm really sorry to hear that. I know firsthand just how damned little we know about the brain and how it works, let alone treating it when problems start :( PM me if you want to talk?

I'm ok sharing more details about my loved one's epilepsy, just not in public (yet).

[MermanJamie]

Hey Ransom! You bring up a great topic, dude. Once I get everything sorted out, there are a few things I'd like to advocate for. For example, I'm a big part of my school's Queer Straight Alliance. I don't know how I identify yet, as I haven't liked anyone in close to 5 years, but I know we have a lot of LGBTQ mers, and it's an important issue to advocate for. I've been bullied my entire life and called gay just because I didn't like sports, and I was more interested in what the girls were doing, and it's made me think of how we really need to work on how we present these issues to kids. Not to mention the struggles I've had lately with everything I want to do being called gay. I was once even called a fairy by someone who saw me in Play rehearsal. So yeah, that issue's very important to me.

[Seaspray Mermaid]

I am so glad this topic landed on here! I haven't found any great things just yet, I'll definitely be more outspoken about LGBT issues (bi mer here), I've been thinking about the #metoo movement and anti-sex trafficking a lot lately. We'll see where my heart leads me.

[Mermaid Kane]

I don't do mermaiding as a campaign or career, but I stand strongly for 1) improving life for EVERYONE on the planet, and 2) making being LGBT+ a normal but not sensationalized thing... yes, I am aware this is a controversial subject and a unpopular opinion. If you want to discuss it, PM me.

Issue #1; People went to the fricking Moon and back while some people are still in the stone ages... that disturbs me. I want to reach out to the best of our abilities and help tribes of people across the globe reach the same scientific level as us with sufficient healthcare and food/water. They need our help, and while we become advanced beyond imagination, they still starve. I like the idea of saving the oceans and all that, but we need to focus on improving our own species's condition too.

Issue #2; I hate how sensationalized being LGBT+ is. I dare say it's ''popular'' to be homosexual/transgender. I am a lesbian; don't get me wrong, I love LGBT+ acceptance and representation. What I don't like is seeing people ''PICK'' their sexuality and gender identity just because its popular right now. People shouldn't pick-and-choose that kind of thing, it should come naturally. I had a friend who decided to identify as nonbinary, then QUIT a few months later because it ''was too much work, and just wasn't for me''! With me, I realized I was a lesbian while I still thought I was Christian, and I hated myself for it. I hadn't had any access to the Internet or other homosexuals (home schooled as well, very sheltered), so I was bitter. I didn't choose to be lesbian, and I wasn't influenced by others either. I can comfortably say I'd still be lesbian if I was born when they persecuted and killed people for being homosexual.
This was not me choosing.
I was also always a tomboy who when I played around as a child said my characters weren't ''a boy or a girl''. I NEVER considered myself to be either; I was just ME. When I learned the word ''nonbinary'', it fit me perfectly. I had a word for who I was, but I didn't change anything about myself... it wasn't ''hard'', and it wasn't a ''switch''. That's how I believe it should be.
I think a big part of the problem is younger people not quite understanding what sexuality is, or what dating is for. I think its prevalent in straight people too. People will go close to someone and be great friends, and they automatically think its love. I've seen it happen. My friend identified as pansexual, but she had always dated men. She then started to date her close friend (a female), and she realized she couldn't muster true romantic feelings. She was disgusted by kissing, holding hands, and sex. She dated her friend because she was close to her, but wasn't SEXUALLY attracted to her. Hence, I dislike people ''choosing'' their SEXuality.
I am fine with people exploring, or ''questioning''. I think that's great. I don't agree with people saying they are gay or trans just to FIT IN by ''NOT FITTING IN''. We have turned being LGBT+ into such a popularized and sensational thing that people will claim anything to go with the flow.
We think we have made being LGBT+ a widely accepted thing in the US. We haven't. We've just made it ''cool''.

//sorry that was so ''rantish'', I got carried away. X-X//

[Arking]

I don't mer for causes sadly. Not that well known but I do think a healthy planet is important. That is to say promoting the practice of cleaning the streets, rivers, and beaches and stopping waste from going to the wrong places at home, before it has a chance to pollute. I'm also for sustainable fishing, ecological balance, creating green spaces, and the management of invasive species. The list goes on, but it boils down to being conscious about how we impact the world around us and sharing those opinions with both friends and community as well as engaging in debates and conversations on solutions to explore.

[Arking]

I don't do mermaiding as a campaign or career, but I stand strongly for 1) improving life for EVERYONE on the planet, and 2) making being LGBT+ a normal but not sensationalized thing... yes, I am aware this is a controversial subject and a unpopular opinion. If you want to discuss it, PM me.

Issue #1; People went to the fricking Moon and back while some people are still in the stone ages... that disturbs me.....

Issue #2; I hate how sensationalized being LGBT+ is. I dare say it's ''popular'' to be homosexual/transgender. I am a lesbian; don't get me wrong, I love LGBT+ acceptance and representation. What I don't like is seeing people ''PICK'' their sexuality and gender identity ....

I don't do this often so forgive me I don't mean to pick apart your well meaning post. But I am going to speak up this time.

Your first Issue is really noble and I get where you're coming from but your perspective is a dangerous one. Viewing people living nomadic and tribal lifestyles isn't something they are relegated to or hate doing because of western culture. Often times people enjoy their way of life and looking at them from your perspective can be hard I get that but it's ethnocentric to think that their way of life is any less fulfilling than one with all the advances in science we celebrate and enjoy. I think you might not mean to sound condescending towards these different cultures and peoples, especially since you mention wanting to help provide water etc. but it's good to keep in mind that the world would be far less than it is if we all adhered to the same sciences, law, beliefs, and technology. Sure we should help others provided they desire it, but a lot of times their problems are caused by our own pursuit of self advancement.

Your second issue is just a matter of perspective again. I can neither agree or disagree with it but I grew up when people were calling themselves Otherkin and went by identities such as Mer, Fae and more. It's hard to see sometimes past our own experiences and accept that culture is ever changing and redefining itself around us. My best advice is too find your passion and pursue it with all your energy, and look less on how others choose to find and discover theirs. I understand your frustration but change happens all the time and if society is changing to speak of sexuality and gender as something that is fluid and dictated by conscious acceptance and choice you can either be the rock in the stream, or fish within it. Either way the water will move with you or around you.

Be safe, have heart. :)

[Mermaid Kane]

I understand your frustration but change happens all the time and if society is changing to speak of sexuality and gender as something that is fluid and dictated by conscious acceptance and choice you can either be the rock in the stream, or fish within it. Either way the water will move with you or around you.

Be safe, have heart. :)

I think its too early to say whether or not things are truly changing, or if its a trend. :) Many would agree that it is a trend, and that the current LGBT+ community has strayed from the LGBT+ movement. However, I am not close minded to the idea of identity moving forward, even if I don't agree with wearing and choosing sexual/gender identity like jewelry you take on and off. I can't stop it anyways.

I don't really want to discuss it further on this thread, but if you'd like, you can PM me.

[Ransom]

@Jim -- definitely, whatever our beliefs we can agree bullying is unacceptable, and unfortunately too many adults perpetrate it :(

@Seaspray -- all the best! Keep us posted ;)

@Kane and Arking -- love the way you're discussing this. Keep things civil, k?

I highly recommend Missouri Governor Eric Greitens' book The Heart and the Fist, about the challenges of humanitarian work and the character needed to meet them. It's amazing reading and draws from his time as an aid worker and officer in the US Navy SEALs.

(I'm aware of his present indictment and hope he's not guilty, but he deserves a fair hearing. That doesn't mean his work is any less powerful, though.)

[Echidna]

Your first Issue is really noble and I get where you're coming from but your perspective is a dangerous one. Viewing people living nomadic and tribal lifestyles isn't something they are relegated to or hate doing because of western culture. Often times people enjoy their way of life and looking at them from your perspective can be hard I get that but it's ethnocentric to think that their way of life is any less fulfilling than one with all the advances in science we celebrate and enjoy.

this +1000.
This kind of attitude, while stemming from a desire to "help", has brought a lot of misery to many, many native peoples all over the world.
The "tribal" lifestyle, as you put it, is not "lesser" than the western "dig up all the stuff until nothing is left and then make technology out of it".
In fact, the western lifestyle and its oh-so-great technology is what is rapidly destroying the planet.

Not everyone wants this lifestyle, but many native peoples have had it forced on them with no choice by westerners who couldn't even grasp the fact that their so-called "help" not only wasn't helping, but destroying another culture.

So, if you truly want to help someone...look around in your neighbourhood. I assure you there is plenty of help needed right in front of your doorstep.

[Ransom]

this +1000.
This kind of attitude, while stemming from a desire to "help", has brought a lot of misery to many, many native peoples all over the world.


I've come to largely agree with Echinda, but with some caveats. Western intervention has brought suffering like any other culture, and they aren't unique in forcing their system on others. Where they are unique is that their ideas have lifted millions into a better standard of living, however imperfectly.

It's neither all good nor all bad, and much of our capacity to communicate all over the world, build businesses and lift people from poverty comes from a uniquely Western perspective of freedom of thought, self-criticism and adaptation to new ways.

When native peoples first encountered Western powers, many tribes actually allied with them, believing correctly that their superior technology would give them an edge. Natives eagerly sought out and used Western technology, not the other way around.

It's continued to the present day, and computers, smartphones and nearly every development that's made life better are Western inventions. (That's why Britain was in China and Singapore in the nineteenth century, not the other way around.)

The way I see it, the Western world has made plenty of mistakes in bringing those advantages so we won't have to. The dominant pattern of helping now is partnership, not exploitation, and although there're exceptions I'm confident things will get better all round :)

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