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View Full Version : saying sorry



Lotus
04-03-2012, 01:56 PM
I have to just put something out there for people to think about.
When you attack someone in a way that demoralizes and demeans with the intention of hurting them, then say you're sorry, it will only stick a handful of times. After that, people will assume that you feel as though you are justified in saying whatever you like regardless of how hurtful it may be, so long as you say "I'm sorry" later. That old saying "sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me," is an utter crock of shit. Being verbally abused by a person has a lasting effect, whether you want to believe it or not. It's one thing to retaliate against negativity sent your way, it's quite another to tear someone down at their very core. To attack their most vulnerable spot... I am not saying you should not defend yourself or address issues with people whom you are having troubles with, but I FUCKING HATE BULLIES, especially ones who use hateful words to "resolve issue" and then hide behind bullshit apologies. let me give you an example... I am the black sheep in my family in a major way, and my Dad has a tendency to get annoyed with me and treat me like a child when he doesn't know how to react to something I have done.... someone very close to me is very aware of how low it makes me feel when he does it, and that person uses that against me when he is angry, as a way of shutting me up. It makes me cry every single time, which only perpetuates the useless feelings it brings. Then later, he wil say that he is sorry, but he was just SO ANGRY. Well guess what? I stopped listening to that lie of an apology because if he was really sorry, HE WOULD HAVE STOPPED DOING IT.
So, I urge you all to really think about what you are about to say when someone really makes you angry. To write a pissed off letter or email or post, then walk away for an hour before re-reading it, rethinking it, and rewriting it in a way that gets your point across without making you look like a mean-spirited jerk. That way, on the occasion when you really lose it and say something that was over the line, your genuine apology will be taken seriously.