B!TC# IT OUT!

[Little_Orca]

Some of you know, I work in a locked crisis facility for persons with mental illness. We get people from all over the county who are in crisis due to lack of medication, support, or a strong desire to end their lives. We have a high rotation rate: We have 16 beds at the facility and rotate in and out over 70 people a month.

I have a hard time paying attention to things at times (like in jobs, classrooms, meetings, etc) because I have ADD (non hyper version). I also have anxiety issues and am an introvert, and being forced to interact with strangers on a daily basis at my job is hard for me. I would take crochet to work and work on it to help me settle down. At first my uppers didn't like it, but after they saw how my attention improved and how I would speak easier to people while working on it, they applauded it as long as I worked on it in the milieu and engaged with people in the process. I was even complimented by the head nurse when he saw how I was more engaged when I worked on something with my hands

Recently, I had a meeting with my supervisor. She listed everything wrong with me (as those meetings tend to go). She stated I needed to engage more with our residents without the crochet.

"Sit yourself down in a conversation they are having and join in," she told me.

"Isn't that a little rude?" I asked her. "I don't think most people would be accepting to a worker at the mental facility they are in just sitting down while they are talking with a peer and to have me weasel my way into the conversation. If there are more than 2 people, sure I may sit down, but just two of them as there has been as of late? It feels rude and disrespectful."

"I think that says more about how -you- feel about it than they do. This is like a pre-warning. I don't want to have to be that person, you know? When I see you knitting ... crocheting, I get anxious and I think to myself what more can I have you work on and go do? There is always stuff to do around here. If this persists, then there will be another warning, then after that something will have to be done. I was even talking to [the administrator] and we were wondering if you would fit better in another part of the company. Like how [coworker] went from doing your job at night to the record keeping during the day. Also, I have seen how you and [two coworkers] are very social with you come in here and that is a problem. You need to focus on the residents and not on one another."

My coworker's time with me at work overlaps by an hour and a half. In that time of the shift, most residents are in groups, are napping, or are in the television room. Yes, there can be major events at this time and they get handled.

After the meeting I have been in a funk. I no longer bring my yarn to work and try to do all I can to look busy; sadly she did not see this change since she works only 3 days a week with me. My evening coworkers for the other days noticed something was off with me, but I didn't tell them anything. "You are not your usual bubbly self," one nurse told me. I just shrugged at kept working.

Mental health is not my dream career. I have always wanted to be in a more art field and was pushed to Art Therapy as it was viewed positively by my family. Partway through gradschool I told my mother I didn't think I wanted to so it anymore and she told me to finish the degree so I had it, then look for something else. Now, though, I feel trapped to keep working here (in general, it is nice) while attempting to break out into something more artsy. I have a goal in mind and am slowly working on it, but my gods, I am reaching burnout and I cannot do anything about it. (Vacation time has to be submitted a month in advance and people are dragging their asses about visits next month.)

[AniaR]

sounds like they'r ejust nit picking and looking for a reason to pick on you. I had a boss just like that. Got mad at me for a stain on the carpet that had been there long before me. lol

[Travis Livingstone]

I hate when people make fun of great mermaid shows like this one when they look goofy trying to swim in their poor quality tails 😜. http://youtu.be/nySQZxTP5V8

[AniaR]

Really? Lol no one made fun just voiced concern

Sent from my Nexus 4 using Tapatalk

[Kaila Mermaid]

Trying to figure out how to link your facebook page, tumblr, and twitter together >:/ This mer is evidently not very technologically gifted. Lame comlant, yes, but ugh...

[AniaR]

Oh remind me I'll post a tutorial

Sent from my Nexus 4 using Tapatalk

[SeaGlass Siren]

I'm sad.

My mother jut called me scum of the earth and that I wasn't her child.. All I did was say "ok I will drive you to the doctor before I go into work". You know what hurts? The verbal abuse I get Everytime I go out of my way to do something nice for her. I gave her shopping money on mothers day because she doesn't work a day in her life, and I got yelled at. Drive to Get groceries, I get yelled at. Drive her somewhere before work? I get yelled at. buy her a present for her birthday that she'll juš end up giving away? I get yelled at.

Wtf why?

[PearlieMae]

Time to stop being nice. Sounds like your mom could use a nice spoonful of indifference.

[SeaGlass Siren]

a nice spoonful of arsenic would be great. :|

:Internet police i know you're watching, it's just figure of speech/sarcasm:

seriously though, i can't take it. fuck this i'm moving out.

[MerGrrl]

SeaGlass Siren, that's wretched.

I don't know why this just popped into my head, I'll share just in case it's helpful: http://www.daughtersofnarcissisticmothers.com/mothers-with-narcissistic-personality-disorder.html

If not, just ignore it. I hope you move out soon. No one who treats you that way, relative or otherwise, retains the right to continue doing so.

[Starfrit]

I'm really sorry, SeaGlass. That's absolutely awful. :( I really hope you can get out of there soon, and get that woman out of your life. Nobody needs that kind of constant negativity and toxicity all the time, especially when they're just trying to be a good daughter.

I definitely agree with Pearlie-- Maybe your "mother" will learn to be a little more grateful when you're no longer willing to put up with her abusive garbage, or even not around at all.

I really hope things get better for you soon. <3

[SeaGlass Siren]

SeaGlass Siren, that's wretched.

I don't know why this just popped into my head, I'll share just in case it's helpful: http://www.daughtersofnarcissisticmothers.com/mothers-with-narcissistic-personality-disorder.html

If not, --.

OH MY GOD SHE HAS THAT. EXTREME VANITY, EMOTIONAL VAMPIRES, TRIANGULATION, PARENTIFICATION, INFANTALISATION, . AND THE ENABLER. MY DAD. OH MY GOD YOU JUST OUTLINED MY WHOLE ENTIRE LIFE STORY...

[SeaGlass Siren]

seriously though, thankyou guys for the support and comfort. i really needed it. <3

[Morticia Mermaid]

So this isn't really a bitch it out, it's more of a plea for advice (and possibly any help people can offer).

I'm currently living with my parents until my husband and I can get into an apartment in Cali. Living conditions have gone from ok to complete and total hell on earth. I'm not talking about the house, I'm talking about an occupant. My step-dad hurt his back almost 2 years ago, and since his attitude has quickly become more and more abusive.

He started with passive aggressively attacking my mom and has gone to full out verbally attacking her. He tried cutting us off from family, telling them that WE were attacking HIM. Recently he's started being aggressive with me as well. More than once I've had prototype projects turn up broken (but no one knows how it got that way, even though I put it in a safe place). He is constantly telling people that I sit at home and do nothing, and that my personal finances are his families business (even though they hate mom and I). He's telling people that he is having to support mom and I because we are so lousy with money, even though we have been supporting him for the last year and a half.

Mom cries from the time she gets home from work until she goes to bed, and I rarely leave my room. She and I are rarely allowed to be alone together. There have been times we have tried to go to the store together so we could talk without him over hearing, and he insists on going with and wont let us leave without him. Mom and I are always the ones cooking dinner, and while we are working he will come and stand at the bar counter and just watch us (gives a very "overlord" kind of feeling).

I've had to start hiding important things for my mom in my room because things keep coming up missing (like her birth certificate and her SS card, and my grandfathers old service revolver). Anything we want kept in a safe place ends up hidden in my room (since I rarely ever leave it).

[step-dad] is currently unemployed and wont even look for work. He refuses to do things for himself, and if mom or I don't do it for him he takes it out on mom saying that she is lazy and that he has to support us (mom works 10+ hours a day at a Lowes Distribution Center).

Mom and I are looking at moving into a hotel at the end of the month, we can't afford rent for next month and some of the local owned hotels do a rent by the week. But, I'm not sure it's soon enough. I've started having nightmares about him physically hurting us (such as beating us wit cooking tools, or straight up finding one of the guns and shooting us), and mom hasn't hardly been sleeping at all.

I'm sorry if this seems a bit scatter-brained. I'm trying to get it all written out before he comes to check on me. Any help or advice would be appreciated

[PearlieMae]

Does he ever threaten you with physical harm? The first/next time he does, call the police, file a domestic violence complaint and get a restraining order. They will remove him from the house. Verbal abuse is still abuse, you don't have to take it!

[Morticia Mermaid]

He has yet to physically harm us.

Sent by star fish

[PearlieMae]

He doesn't have to harm you, he just has to threaten you. PM me if you want domestic violence advice...I may have to wait until tonight to answer - boss is on the hoof!

[SeaGlass Siren]

call the police on him.

[Morticia Mermaid]

Can't unless he threatens us with physical harm or physically harms us

Sent by star fish

[SeaGlass Siren]

or..
Intentional infliction of emotional distress (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Intentional_infliction_of_emotional_distress)

[MerGrrl]

SeaGlass Siren, I'm glad to know that info might be helpful. I've known a few NPDs in my day. Just know that it is 100% NOT YOU.

There's a saying: There are two kinds of mental disorders - those that lead you to seek treatment and those that lead everyone around you to seek treatment. NPD is this second kind.

Being the child of an NPD is a pretty big deal. I'd highly recommend counseling if you can swing it.

Lots of love and support to you. I'm not sure, but I feel like I've seen Raina mention it before, too, so she may have some info.

[Ilyena]

I know a couple on here have spoken about NPD mothers (and the links sent to things about that)...but it can be fathers too yes?? if so I know how you feel SeaGlass. I'm currently seeing a counselor about it and I know I need to move out of the house but the things that go on scare me about leaving, kinda like a damned if you do, damned if you don't situation.

[SeaGlass Siren]

my ticket out is in 3 months when i'm officially married to my hubby. i call him hubby now but were not married yet :|

i think it can apply to fathers as well.

[Ilyena]

Well then congratulations for when you get married and move out ^_^. Little things like that make me happy (even though I don't know you personally)

[SeaGlass Siren]

aw it's alright :) i get happy when othre people get happy too!

[BayouMermaid]

@Seaglass: I do hope that things get better for you.

[Thalassa]

I am so on edge! I need, need, NEED my tail back by this Friday, it's boxed up and ready to ship but as far as I know it hasn't been shipped yet! I don't know what to do. I know Raven is super busy and I don't want to nag her. And before you chide me for having an event before getting my tail back, this is a yearly event, I sent my tail back for repair in January and made it clear it needed to be back by the first of May, I was assured it was fine. Due to some unforeseen weather and measurement issues it ended up not getting done in time, I don't care about that but I NEEEED it for this weekend. I just need to get out how supremely anxious I am about this. I know it doesn't compare to some of the problems some of you are going through, I'm sorry.

(PS this should not be interpreted as a dig against Raven, I LOVE her and her work but the timeframe is very scary.)

[MerEmma]

I'd say not to be afraid to "nag" her--you didn't mention any reminders but I wouldn't be afraid to shoot her an email and ask her what the status update is and mention that you need it back urgently.

[MerGrrl]

Ilyena and SeaGlass - certainly, NPD can apply to anyone.

[Thalassa]

Mernetwork is magic! Raven has shipped my tail. :-)

[Merman Arion]

Mernetwork is magic! Raven has shipped my tail. :-)

Glad to hear that. You scared me :phew: :hug:

[SeaGlass Siren]

you know everytime i see the abreviation NDP i mistaken it for Liberal party of canada

[AniaR]

my mom has borderline personality disorder. THere are actual books about having a bpd mom. They act in very specific ways, as mother, you just dont see with any other disorder. I have been estranged from my mom for 4 years and it was the best choice I ever made. They say you only have 1 mom but your mom only has 1 you and moms are every bit as capable of being abusive. It's a sore spot for me for sure. But I did 3 years of intense therapy and read lots of books and participated in an online support group. I know for many child victims of abusive mothers cutting them out is something they could never think of. Part of that is because the mother enmeshes themself so much with the child. But once you take the leap to little contact or no contact it can give you great erspective. For me, I just realized I got nothing from the relationship at all, but lost so much of myself. It was very toxic.

regardless of what your mom may have or not have, the book: Toxic Parents may help you out

Sent from my Nexus 7 using Tapatalk

[SeaGlass Siren]

thanks, i'll definitely give that a read!

[Mermaid Lorelei]

Ugh. Some of you know that I have many medical issues (some of which have been resolved, some that are being worked on, and some that just don't seem to want to go away). I won't go into details about them, but basically, I might be losing my job because I'm sick so often. -.-;

[Vixy]

Ugh. Some of you know that I have many medical issues (some of which have been resolved, some that are being worked on, and some that just don't seem to want to go away). I won't go into details about them, but basically, I might be losing my job because I'm sick so often. -.-;

*hugs* That's not great, it's not like you want to be sick and miss work :(

I'm attempting to join a extras agency, but I'm having rotten luck in them accepting my photos. The website won't open the box for me to select any photos and sending off some photos had them tell me the photos are too grainy. I don't have many photos of me out of costume, I asked if they're okay for me sending them costumed photos of me.

[Rivertee]

GRrrr Neptune's Beard I am so fed up with narrow minded people! Seriously the nerve of some humans! Sorry Mers but I really need to vent so feel free to skip ^.^

I am an artist, not a great one mind you never claimed to be, but honestly when I put my work up for ideas and feedback I'm not opening up for discrimination. A comment on one of my artwork for an OC fox was as followed,

"Honestly more foxes? You're boring and a disgrace to fans. If you must Draw nothing but foxes can you keep them off this website. You way behind in the times, no one draws with crayons and pencils anymore. Go back to the stone age. The eyes are crooked and you made her a cowgirl! A fox isn't a rodeo animal. Your art is outdated and makes no sense."

Outdated! Behind the times! honestly! Just because I prefer a traditional approach doesn't mean I can't do digital, I have digital work on my page as well but I prefer traditional tools. Plus I don't have my MAC anymore due to damage so no scanner, no Adobe programs, come on!

I deleted the comment but still it wasn't nice and just plain rude!

[AniaR]

That's a hater for yah!

Sent from my Nexus 4 using Tapatalk

[shimmygoddess]

Def. a hater. people are just assholes sometimes. Just continue to do what you love. You are drawing for your satisfaction not for others. hang in there!!


GRrrr Neptune's Beard I am so fed up with narrow minded people! Seriously the nerve of some humans! Sorry Mers but I really need to vent so feel free to skip ^.^

I am an artist, not a great one mind you never claimed to be, but honestly when I put my work up for ideas and feedback I'm not opening up for discrimination. A comment on one of my artwork for an OC fox was as followed,

"Honestly more foxes? You're boring and a disgrace to fans. If you must Draw nothing but foxes can you keep them off this website. You way behind in the times, no one draws with crayons and pencils anymore. Go back to the stone age. The eyes are crooked and you made her a cowgirl! A fox isn't a rodeo animal. Your art is outdated and makes no sense."

Outdated! Behind the times! honestly! Just because I prefer a traditional approach doesn't mean I can't do digital, I have digital work on my page as well but I prefer traditional tools. Plus I don't have my MAC anymore due to damage so no scanner, no Adobe programs, come on!

I deleted the comment but still it wasn't nice and just plain rude!

[Azurin Luna]

Gah... sometimes I just hate working in the Biblebelt... some people there are just so narrowminded that they even teach their children that if it wears pants, it's a guy and only girls/women wear dresses or skirts. I mean come on! I work on a shipyard, I'm not going to wear short skirts because then I'm just a billboard saying 'grab me', just no. And the odd time I wear a dress or skirt, that is almost floor lenght, I'm getting called a crossdresser, I'm like, 'What?! These boobs I wear are real!' I once told one of the kids that I was just a girl wearing pants and they got scared of me because I talked to them. Now each time I walk through the street they pull their children away, only because I dress differently.

Some times I just hate this world with all their prejudices they have.

ps. I have nothing against religious people, but they can also just let people be who they are as I accept them as they are. I work with enough religious people at work and that has given me no problem at all, as they accept me who I am, even though it took some time.

[Fun123joker]

DX ugh i know right! i dont have it as hard as you but it sucks having religous parents! i make a skirt and they are the only ones that say its too short. it passes the finger tip test but noooooo the shortest we can go up to is up to the knee. what are we Mormon? (sorry Mormons!) I will NOT have a book tell me what to wear! my parents like to invest but accroding to the bible that is a sin but every christian choose not to follow that rule for centuries. so when they call my skirt short then I CALL USURY!

[Rivertee]

I hear ya, I was southern Baptist so dress code wasn't much of a problem but when we went out to other church functions others would look at only the girls in jeans and seriously it's like we had horns and tails. Honestly I thought we were all love no matter our differences...

Just keep being you!

[SeaGlass Siren]

Beauty is subjective. What I think is beautiful another person might disagree and think that it's ugly. I'm cool with that. But when they start showing down my throat that "no I am right you are wrong, this is ugly" I tart to get into a fresking raging fit. It would be like saying about a person "I think tho person is ugly so you should agree with me and think so too" uhm how about NO??


So. This is stemming from bed shopping with my mother in law. Went to Ikea to pick out a really nice light grey bed frame and matching nightstand and computer desk to match the theme of my room. And she goes EAwW SUCH A NASTy COLOUR. Pick this one. She picks like a regular wood bed that I'm not looking for . And does not even match the room. (pics of my room are up on the home decor thread.) if it even remotely matched what I was going for I probably wouldn't have minded so much. But this was my bed and that's not the colour hat goes with the room.
To make her see that she was being absolutely ridiculous and to make her hear what she sounded like i mimiced her back and went "EEWW what a nasty colour". It's OUR bed and Steven and I like the light grey and WE are the ones buying it. Now mind you light grey isn't a very popular colour at Ikea and they're discontinuing it soon so I got really upset. We argues for like a good half our on a freaking bed frame wtf.

Main issue I have here: "yes you don't agree with me, yes I don't agree with you. But don't shove your beliefs down MY throat about what you think is beautiful because I certainly don't to it to you or other people. Stop tryin to enforce it."

[Lucinda]

Parent promised curb his drinking. Said parent failed within a few weeks. Enough said.

[Meilyn]

Seaglass siren, I'm sorry you have to deal with that stuff. My mom's the same way and I was even homeless by choice to try to escape that stuff when I was 12 years old. From personal experience, what you could do which may be best is to remove yourself from that kind of environment. Assuming you're old enough with a job and stuff, get some friends to move out with you or even, ask if you could rent out a room elsewhere :(

I've removed myself from such environments recently (shortly after Feb 9th of this year) and I told myself I would change. I've been so much better now, my mom's literally called me just to get me to stop by the house more often for dinner.

Sometimes, THEY never know what they have until it's gone. And sometimes, life just gets too much for some people so they take it out on the ones around them. I don't know what else I could say but I really hope it all gets better for each and everyone of you on here with bad living circumstances :( good people often get dealt bad hands

[SeaGlass Siren]

thank you for your kind words meilyn. it sounds like you've been through a lot as well.

i'm definitely old enough, i'm just waiting for my house to be built. should be done next year.

[Vixy]

At my work if someone phones in it completely overrides it if I hadn't already started someone's order, and I've been trained to take the phone quickly.

A lady comes in and we start talking about a con we both went to recently, she stops and starts looking at the menu. And the phone rings, I apologise and take it and seconds before I finished it when both my coworkers are around she starts walking out.

She then has a go at me saying she was talking to me and I had been so rude to pick up the phone because she was first. I try and explain but she wouldn't listen even after I said I would love to carry on talking about it.

I had been feeling down, and I broke down. I told everyone I had enough, I can't do it anymore. I'm looking for another job, I then walked off.

I just couldn't handle it, I would of had a lovely conversation with the lady if she waited seconds. I'm fast, it wouldn't of taken long.

I know I reacted wrongly, but it just all came out.

[SeaGlass Siren]

vixy, some people are just assholes. *hugs*

[Vixy]

vixy, some people are just assholes. *hugs*

*hugs* I've been crying on and off. I didn't have a great start after being told I can't have next friday off for something I've been looking forward to going. Even when I've been really ill I've had to go work, even when I'm legally required to have time off with what I have I still had to go in.

[Little_Orca]

We have talked about people who photoshop themselves into photographs and what not before, but I am almost more irritated by people who photoshop themselves or others into other works of art and then post it on an art site. I have done this myself before as a fun thing and put it on facebook, but I stated who the painting had been by and the paintings are usually famous. I saw one the other day that annoyed me; there was no description stating who the original artist was. Just ruffled my scales a little.

[Mermaid Galene]

I agree, Orca. Photoshop is a double-edged sword. It has so many legitimate uses. Photography can do weird things to one's image; lighting can be off, angles can be weird. It can make you look really good or really bad. With Photoshop, you can correct those errors and make a photograph look more like the real you. It's also an amazing tool for artistic expression. But it's so easy for the unscrupulous (or merely vain) to create an image that out and out lies and steals. I use Photoshop, Illustrator and other Adobe software all the time, and I couldn't get by without them. But I have self-imposed rules about how far I'm willing to retouch a photo. I correct exposure, lighting, and tone if needed, and I use filters to create a mood. But I don't try to change my body shape or hide my age. I'm 59. I've got wrinkles, and I'm not ashamed of them; I earned them by living life! And I never take someone else's image and drop it into mine uncredited, unless I've exhausted every avenue to find and credit the original creator.

[Winged Mermaid]

Frustrated? Pissed? Sing (er, scream) along!
(Warning: composed entirely of NSFW language.)


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_GUqiNbZlBA

Side note, this is also me when I play video games, haha! Gamer guys/girls I'm sure relate ;) I downloaded this like 8 years ago, still have it in my music library to help me laugh when I'm in a really angry mood. It's therapeutic and funny.. and catchy XP

[Mermaid Mhara]

Iona, I just put that on and my Mother rushed upstairs telling me to "TURN THAT PORN OFF, WE HAVE GUESTS AND WE CAN HEAR IT ALL!" Q_Q I had to bring her in here and show her it wasn't porn. Oh my days...ahahah!!

Anyways, I need a rant ugh.

So, I've got an eating disorder as some of my friends on here may know. Now I'm very stable lately...and eat quite well, urm...let me explain my usual eating conditions before I get into this.

So it started nearly two years ago, when I first started college (Hairdressing though, not dance as I'm in now) If anyone here is a Hair and Beauty type-person they'll understand that the people who take these courses can be the Bitchiest, most horrible people you could ever encounter. I had to deal with a classroom of 90% of those people...then there's me, shy, lonely, and a bit odd. I was instantly the outcast.

Being around mirrors every single day, made me feel like crap, and on top of all this I was being bullied big time...BY A TEACHER. (That's another story though...) So I tried dieting to make myself feel and look better, along with starting a big exercise regime (this is when I finally took dance again...so there's one plus to this whole mess.)

Eventually I was mentally and Physically exhausted...no matter how hard I tried there was always some asshole telling me my diet wasn't good enough, or I wasn't putting enough effort in, even if they didn't even know me properly!

Eventually, I don't even know how it started if I'm honest, somewhere along the line I stopped eating...I went through phases where I would eat properly for a few days, then not eat for the next few days. I know it's unhealthy, but I literally had no control of it. I even went to the Doctors alone (I was 16 at the time) and that was scary! But my local, medieval doctor basically told me I was doing it to myself, and he could do nothing because it was my fault...and it wasn't an eating disorder because I was a boy. Ugh. Obviously, being a naive teen I believed him.

Everything kinda went steady once I quit my college course in June of last year. I auditioned for a dance school and got in, even though my old hair teachers told me I wouldn't get onto any other course if I quit theirs. I was actually happy...but, then it started all over again.

I have this thing about mirrors, they make me feel like utter crap. And what's all over the walls of a Ballet studio? ...Salami. No, wait...mirrors.

It made it ten times worse that every further education academy I was thinking of applying for basically put in their entry requirements 'No Fatties allowed!' and that every video of a good dancer was a stick thin girl or a muscled thin guy.

I stopped eating, but this time I went overboard and lasted a full four days with no food, and barely anything to drink either. I collapsed in a dance class and well...that's the story so far.

Since then I've been okay, but now the 'don't eat' thing has stopped and instead I eat and eat and force myself to purge...(tmi sorry...)

But I consider myself doing well.

But my family and friends are driving me CRAZY!! :/ if I tell them I'm thinking of 'eating healthier' they make a face like I've just told them I'm about to commit suicide. They give me long rants. You guys have no idea how many times I've heard the "Not eating isn't any good...you'll just get fatter by doing that!" rant...Like, I KNOW...I GET IT. SHUT UP YOU'RE NOT HELPING YOU ARE MAKING IT WORSE.

Then comes the constant food talk. "Want some food?...oh go on! I made you a sandwich, I'd be upset if you didn't eat it now..." blah blah. UGH.

I want to lose weight so bad, but I am a type of person that needs help, advice, and somewhere or someone to go talk about these things or else I freak out. And so far everyone just makes me want to stop food altogether. It's just...argh. No.

You know what, fuck it all. I'ma live off a diet of cake and be the real life Chibi Mer. K. Sorted.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3DlZdZYLCfU

[PearlieMae]

Good heavens, I wish I could offer some sort of advice or comfort, something to help you break this cycle! :hug:

[Jeblily]

I'm going to be honest, my parents have finally trusted me with having a scale in my room ( not that I didn't sneak into their room to weigh myself) and I know how hard it can be. Sometimes it just doesn't seem worth it to have to eat, the urge just isn't there. I went a whole week once on about 15 saltine crackers and a cup or two of tea. You can get over these things though, with ballet it's hard with teacher constantly grilling you about what you ate, and even the pre-show weigh ins... Eating healthy however will unfortunately never just be easy. I think it might help to try cooking for yourself, make only what you need and only things you will like. Healthy things can taste amazing as well, to reduce calories try adding delicious herb and spice combinations to veggies without lots of butter ad trans fats. I am still struggling myself about three years ago I stopped drinking water and I am just finally starting to drink water again... I would say these behaviors result fro trying to be accepted and trying to have some control over who you are! I would just say remember that every morning you dress yourself, that you choose to walk down the street that you do, that is control and not to forget the decisions you do make regarding yourself!!

[Mermaid Mhara]

Pearlie - Don't worry, just knowing you read it and would help if you could makes me happy ^_^ :mermaid kiss:

Jeblily - My mom has this thing against me cooking for myself now, but I'm slowly getting there and she is getting more lenient with me. Hopefully by Summer they will have backed off as me and my friend are starting an exercise regime to keep us fit and ready for second year in classes while we're on Holiday.

[Forrest]

I feel like I am invading, but from what I've seen this place is filled with amazing people, so I am going to push past my shyness and anxiety to post...

I was in an abusive relationship for about a year. He would keep me from my friends, put me down constantly, and ridicule my choices and interests (physical abuse was only an issue once, when he tried to choke me). I got so depressed that I stopped eating entirely about halfway into the relationship, having maybe a sandwich or an egg every few days. I lost about thirty pounds and everyone who I talked to continuously commented on how great I looked. I would shirk it off, uncomfortable because I was getting compliments for doing something regarded as unhealthy to get that way, even if it wasn't on purpose. After I managed to get away from this guy, it took me a long time before I could eat again, and by that time I was in a job where I couldn't eat for over 14 hours (I worked as a chef in a restaurant--surprisingly you don't get to eat the food while you work). By the time I would get home from the job, I was so tired and my stomach was so empty that I just couldn't eat without getting sick.

Now I work as a teacher, for early education, and I have gained back most of the weight I lost. Now I am dealing with comments on gaining weight, and my own insecurities about it. I was offered a chance to model as a mermaid in a couple months with someone I knew in high school (who is now a successful model herself), and right away my thoughts are going back to weight, and I am worried I will go back into the habit of just not eating. I keep feeling sick every time I eat and I know it is all in my head, but it still worries me.

I'm sorry if my plight is silly, I know it seems so to me, I just felt like I should get this off my chest.

[PearlieMae]

Honey, you're here now. There's no way you could invade! And no, your plight isn't silly at all. :D

[Echidna]

Dancing and modelling- the progenitors of eating disorders :thumbdown:

I had a disorder for the entire length of my dancing career.
I learned to eat normally only slowly because after dancing, I worked as a model.

It was really hard in the beginning, but once I'd done it for a while (normal eating behaviour & diet, not the "lots of liquids, no fat/sugar/rice/wheat ever" of dancing classes...), it became a habit quickly, and now I only have to remember to eat regularly.

A while ago, I decided to gain weight, because my underweight was precarious and dangerous.
I didn't gain much, just enough to be out of the "dead-zone", so to speak, but still I was thrown out of my modelling agency when I refused to lose the few pounds I'd just gained.

Good riddance, I say.
No job is worth ending up dead because some addle-brained designers think walking skeletons an inch away from heart failure are cool.

[Ottery]

I recently ordered a mermaid top from an etsy shop, and 2 weeks later after she said it would be finished it's still not here. :/ I'm kind of nervous about poking her again 'cause I don't wanna be rude, but it's been a while and I need that top soon! It doesn't seem that labor intensive (it's stuff glued onto a swimsuit top to make it look mermaid-ish), but I've never really made something like that so I don't want to come across as impatient. ARG!

[Mermaid Wesley]

It doesn't hurt to ask where she is in production


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[Mermaid Mhara]

Dancing and modelling- the progenitors of eating disorders :thumbdown:

I had a disorder for the entire length of my dancing career.
I learned to eat normally only slowly because after dancing, I worked as a model.

It was really hard in the beginning, but once I'd done it for a while (normal eating behaviour & diet, not the "lots of liquids, no fat/sugar/rice/wheat ever" of dancing classes...), it became a habit quickly, and now I only have to remember to eat regularly.

A while ago, I decided to gain weight, because my underweight was precarious and dangerous.
I didn't gain much, just enough to be out of the "dead-zone", so to speak, but still I was thrown out of my modelling agency when I refused to lose the few pounds I'd just gained.

Good riddance, I say.
No job is worth ending up dead because some addle-brained designers think walking skeletons an inch away from heart failure are cool.

I've given up on Dance now as well :) It's wonderful as a hobby, but as a career it makes me feel worthless. And so I'm finishing my studies here at the dance academy, and going on to putting my head down and becoming a Nurse ^_^ I love helping people, and I'm not squeamish so I thought why not haha :') Plus my friend is studying to become a Nurse now and I'm so interested in everything she talks about...I even read the student nurse handbook and am well and truly interested to the point of trying it.

It's true no job or dream is worth killing yourself over, ever.

[JessieMermaid]

So check this, I travel for work (almost a weekly basis) and now my co wants me to travel 2 1/2 hrs (round trip) to a site EVERY DAY and the site want's me there by 6 am. This means that I have to be awake by at least 4 am!!!!! They will also probably want me to stay until at least 5 pm everyday. This means not getting home until 7-730 pm. They are only paying me for my Breakfast and lunch so if I get dinner it's out of my own money until I turn in my expense report and won't get that money until a week later.

No sleep + no food = one pissed off mermaid!

[Ottery]

So it's been a few days since I contacted the seller again, and still no word back from them at all. They did add new items to the store, so hopefully they already sent it off and it should be here soon. Either way, it's making me nervous because I need the top for a pirate festival. I'm also nervous about the festival, because my tail is kind of wrinkly at the fluke and my stressed brain makes it seem like it's this huge problem when it's just fine. If anyone asks about the wrinkles I can say that some humans have wrinkles and so do some mermaids, but I still can't shake the feeling that it's a big deal. Arg! I just wish my brain would stop over thinking everything and let me enjoy a lovely weekend at the festival with my fellow mermaids! Rarg!

[Kaila Mermaid]

Are you speaking about the Pirate Festival in Oregon? My step mother told me about that. How awesome you get to go!! Also, fish have wrinkles in their caudal fins and occasionally cetaceans get wrinkling too :) Just makes you authentic

[Ottery]

It's the Rusty Scupper Pirate Daze in Washington, actually! They sadly cancled this year

[SeaGlass Siren]

technically cops aren't supposed to as for your ID unless THEY have a license to check you. my teacher got into that rut and when asked for her ID she threw it back at them and he backed off.

[Mermaid Wesley]

They absolutely have the right to ask to see your license. You have the right to refuse as well but why do that and make everything harder for everyone involved?


Sent from my shellphone using Tapatalk

[Mermaid Wesley]

And the fact that he didn't give you a ticket suggests that he's been asked to hang out there because people are speeding by the school and he's been tasked with discouraging any kind of speeding in the area. If residents of an area call the police station they'll do that.


Sent from my shellphone using Tapatalk

[SeaGlass Siren]

different rules in canada i suppose. over here they can still ask for your license, but not a lot of drivers know they can refuse to show it unless the cop shows you his license to check you.

[Meilyn]

Had to delete it cause I'm gonna take it up with city council.

But overall, he was profiling and targeting me because he thought I was under aged/teen going for a joyride in what looks to be an "adults" car and without make up, I guess I look barely legal on the good days :/

Plus he threatened me when he said that he'll be watching out for me from now on even though I didn't do anything wrong in the first place.

No way a non-sports car can go from 0-47 in 20ft (we were at a red light before I turned, got into the other lane, and he turned his lights on). If I would have gotten ticketed and I fought it, which such circumstances he made up upon, he wouldn't have been able to win with his dash can recording and technical evidence.

I may be small but my actions aren't. The smallest fish give the biggest fights :p
I hate people who abuse their power on others just because they can.

[Meilyn]

You just don't pull someone over and ask things like what he asked me. It was rude, condescending, uncomfortable, and he had gotten to the line of prying into my personal life to make me justify a cause that he thought was a fake I.d. just because of the way I look

[SeaGlass Siren]

^ don't mess with This mermaid, she's vicious. Good luck with the city council thing!

[Mermaid Muir]

I'm tired of being too nervous to speak up and to show the real me.

[PearlieMae]

Good for you! :mermaid kiss:

[Ayla of Duluth]

So guess who got terminated from her job the other day? :D
I work at a call center, and to clock in for work you open a program on the computer and once you sign in to the program, the computer shows you're clocked in and you can start making calls to customers. Well the program was broken the day I came in to work, so when I logged in I didn't get the 3 startup tones that show my program was working. Found out the program is down all across the board and 300 agents are all just sitting around waiting to see what happens next. Turns out the problem wasn't on our end of the program, it was with the server itself so there was nothing our IT guys could do. 4 hours later they start sending agents home, including me.

Next day I try to come into work, but my badge won't unlock the door. I ask the front desk and they call my supervisor who comes out and tells me that they have me as a no call no show, the computer said I hadn't clocked in at all the other day so she terminated me. She wouldn't even let me get in to get my stuff from my desk, I had to wait in the lobby for her to bring all my stuff out to me. I told her she saw me there, she was the one who sent me home. She said it didn't matter, I could have been just sitting at my desk not logged into the program. I didn't want to burn bridges or argue with her, I wanted the termination to be clean and friendly, so I apologized for any errors on my part, said I understand that a no call no show is indeed grounds for termination, and then I took my stuff and left.

Yesterday someone from the company who I've never met called back to say the person at the top of the chain, the big boss demanded that someone call me back and apologize for wrongly terminating me, so she was calling to say sorry and that they would like to have me back. I told her I'd think about it and then give her a call back. They won't be hearing from me again. I would have probably gone back if the supervisor who terminated me called back to apologize, but someone I've never met called me to say sorry. It was the most half assed thing ever. I don't want to work for a company that fires agents, asks questions later.

[Mermaid Pickles]

Amen sister! Go get a job where they appreciate you! I believe in you!

[Azurin Luna]

That is one of the oddest way I've heard how they handle an IT problem by firing people who couldn't help it...

Vacation season is arriving soon, so everybody has planned their vacations and stuff without any problems, cause they are people who draw things in the programs and there are always enough around to switch work to another if he or she isn't around. But for me it's a different thing... I'm the only one, atm, who keeps their drawing program running and make sure people can work were they need. So naturally I asked for my vacation weeks too, then I get an e-mail back, that if I couldn't find someone who is going to do my jobs I can't take days off... It's now like it's my fault they haven't a second person who can do my work. What if something would happen to me, they would all just stare at their screens and then run around like headless chickens? Lucky for me, I found 2 people who are willing to do the basic of basic things I do so that work can continue.

[Mermaid Lilium]

Okay so I kinda need the support of my fellow mers right now *sigh* I know previously I've posted about the drama with paul my mum's ex (he's finally collecting the rest of his crap and we're moving house in a few weeks [the week of my degree graduation X_x] into rental accom temporarily for a few months while mum pays off some of her debts to fix her credit rating)

well there's been other bullshit amping up since around the time paul left at xmas, that took its place. My husband doug is suffering from severe depression and has been since early/mid december. He tends to take it out on me. And his depression has only been getting worse. He's been waiting 6 months to get some kinda therapy and though he finally started on the 16th it's fairly useless as it's CBT training he's had before in the past.

About a month ago he walked out the house (luckily mum saw him putting his coat and shoes on so we knew he had actually left) and lied to me telling me he was just on a long walk... at 10pm. Fastforward to 3am and turns out he'd gotten on a train to the airport. We ended up driving to go get him. Next day I got him to the doctors and they put him on strong meds.

with that kinda incident in mind, and also if I tell you something I've not admitted here before - that Doug cheated on me about 2 years ago, several times - a week and a half ago, the morning before my graduate show he turned around and told me he'd been having an affair. That he'd been in contact with this girl since all the others two years ago and that he'd been sleeping with her for the last few months. I understandably went apeshit and was kicking him out. 10/15mins later he turned around and said 'you know I'm lying right'. That he'd lied to get me to end the relationship. But he still won't let me see his phone so I still have no idea what is true.

Emotional Whiplash is an understatement. I'm STILL trying to process what the fuck happened, what the hell I feel and think and what I want to do. He knew exactly the perfect way to hurt me and went for it full throttle, so I don't know what would be worse, him having cheated or him purposefully hurting me this deeply.

I know i should just walk away, and that I should have done a long time ago. But I know he's extremely unwell right now and as his wife I feel a certain responsibility to make sure he's going to be okay, I mean no matter what happens I want him to be well because I will always care. You can't be with someone for 8 years and not care. But I also know that plenty of people are this unwell and don't hurt others the way he hurt me, that being mentally ill is not an excuse for his behaviour.

I just... I don't know what to do *curls up into a ball* I just spent this last week in London on my own, helping set up our london graduate show (we had one up north in manchester as a more local one the week before) and was supposed to be using the time to figure out what I want to do, but I still have no idea.

I don't even know if any of this will make any sense but I just finally had to tell you guys what was happening. Mermaiding and MN was what helped me through the horrible depression I sank into after the last time I discovered doug had cheated on me (my birthday weekend actually, feb 2013). MN has been my escape and the dream that kept me sane through a hellish period in my life.

My life has just been one thing after another for the last 2+ years -_- :'(

The fact I have actually managed to make it to graduation is a fucking miracle.

[SeaGlass Siren]

Lilium, I totally get the "for better or for worse" you'll be there as his wife. But tbh if it's not reciprocated thn you should just leave him.

[Mermaid Lily_Pad]

Wow Lilium, You poor thing, that is rough...seriously rough. Okay, let me think of the best way to put this...

You are a wife yes, but you are not his doctor, you are not his therapist, you are not his babysitter. He has absolutely NO right to drag you down with him. That is incredibly cruel. I Don't care if he is sick, I am sick...I have an anxiety disorder, OCD, and depression and I would NEVER think of doing something so downright malicious to my husband. Even if he does frustrate, and anger, and simply not understand me. Just because a person has depression, does not give them the right to demean or hurt others. I think he needs to be on his own a bit. He needs to take responsibility for himself and perhaps in doing so he can garner some insight into why he does the things he does. If you keep nursing him, he may never really figure out exactly why he does the things he does because he is being enabled in order to continue being well...an ass...no offence. It is incredibly hard for the families of people who have any sort of mental illness to know what to do to help that person. Sometimes it is support, encouragement, a big hug...and other times it is giving the person the space to find themselves and learn to help themselves. I am not saying cut him out of your life for good. I am saying that maybe a separation might be best. If not for him, then for your own sanity.

[SeaMansa]

I hate when people just have a problem with you for no reason. Today when I walked into work, this female (though I would love to call her another name) smiles at me, but when I turned I saw her make this nasty face behind me (she thought I couldn't see but I did). It sounds petty,I know, but ever since she started working there me and her always clashed. I hate having to be partnered with her sometimes. The only reason she is even there is cause she is sleeping with ATLEAST one of the bosses -.- her nasty Kim kardashian looking ahh >> she acts like she is better than everyone else who works there and I hate when she is placed as supervisor. I'm not saying I hope she falls down the stairs and breaks her nose, but I hope she trips on a Lego going down some stationary escalators >> I have never said anything to her and yet she acts like we have an issue. Maybe its because I don't give her attention like all the other guys and I never will

[SeaGlass Siren]

Or maybe she's just dealing with stupid people every day of her life and she takes it out in people unreasonably? People have that same assumption with me. I'm an administrator and technically my position is higher than certain departments but people always treat me like crap and when they ask me "wtf is wrong with you" well geeee you would think that after dealing with a bunch of sexist/Ageist old men that a youn woman trying to stay employed in a male dominated office would get freaking annoyed by all the sexist behaviour and remarks.

And seriously, that last comment? Dont assume women only want attention because they want To get into bed with you.

[SeaMansa]

Or maybe she's just dealing with stupid people every day of her life and she takes it out in people unreasonably? People have that same assumption with me. I'm an administrator and technically my position is higher than certain departments but people always treat me like crap and when they ask me "wtf is wrong with you" well geeee you would think that after dealing with a bunch of sexist/Ageist old men that a youn woman trying to stay employed in a male dominated office would get freaking annoyed by all the sexist behaviour and remarks.

And seriously, that last comment? Dont assume women only want attention because they want To get into bed with you.
I just mean that if I, like the few males who work here, came in everyday, doing her work for her, buying her food, taking over for her while she goes and talks on the phone (which is very prohibited here) then she and I would be best friends. But I'm not gonna do that and she knows it. She has the same position as me yet she gets special treatment. Why? Because she is being...*ahem* extra friendly with the higher ups. This isn't rumor. This is something I know for a fact and I'm not the only one. She comes in everyday, does nothing and gets others to do everything for her and gets paid for it. That's why I hate being partnered with her. She will literally leave to go do whatever while I have to pick up the slack. And I can't complain to the boss because of obvious reasons. So is it fair for me to say she doesn't like me because I don't give her attention? In this case, yes. Because if I came tomorrow and started swooning over her, and doing her work and all that other stuff she would act like we've been friends for life. Sorry to sound b!tc#y but it's true.

[SeaGlass Siren]

so if a guy does the exact same thing and orders people to do his job, what then? is anyone gonna bat an eye if he's sleeping with a female higher up? certain male bosses i know order people around to go fetch them their coffee or donuts and no one bats an eye. coming in everyday and does nothing and gets paid.

just saying from an outside perspective.

[SeaMansa]

so if a guy does the exact same thing and orders people to do his job, what then? is anyone gonna bat an eye if he's sleeping with a female higher up? certain male bosses i know order people around to go fetch them their coffee or donuts and no one bats an eye. coming in everyday and does nothing and gets paid.

just saying from an outside perspective.
She's not the boss. She can't do whatever she feels like nor can she boss people around, it's their business if they choose to follow her commands as if she were but I won't. And yes, if a guy did the exact same thing then he shouldn't have a job. If he is the boss, whatever, but she's not. She's in the exact position I'm in. If I have to do work for myself, so does she. If I can't use my cell while I'm on the clock, neither can she. If I'm not allowed to be away from my post for more than 10 minutes, then tell me why the heck can she be gone for her whole shift and no one says anything? The thing is if anyone else does what she does then they'd get an earful and probably fired. It's simply not fair. And to back up this point, I'm at work right now where someone is actually calling her out on her BS to the boss. Everyone else sees she isn't doing what she is supposed to and isn't getting penalized for it.
I get what you are saying, Siren Glass, but still. My whole thing is simply that she has an attitude at me for not being one of her foot men. I don't get my paycheck from her, I don't get paid double for doing her work, and I don't come here for her approval. She can sleep with whoever she wants, and play her games with all these other dudes out here but I ain't got time for that.

[SeaGlass Siren]

Well if she got called out for it then that's good I suppose. Don't you guys have an HR?

[Raayvhen]

The YMCA where I go raised its day fee from $5 to $12 since the last time I was there. Guess I actually have to join now.

[Starfrit]

So I found out tonight that one of my friends, who had completely dropped contact with me last year for reasons I don't understand, has been talking to all of our mutual friends about how we totally hang out all the time and do all this awesome stuff together.

In the last eight months I've seen her twice. Both times, we shared light chit-chat about nothing important, and then went on our separate ways. And apparently, she's been lying to people saying that we've been hanging out all this time? What the fuck?

This is hitting me way, way harder than it should be because my social life in the past year has been shit. The number of times I've actually managed to go out and hang out with my friends, I can count on one hand and still have fingers left over-- I've lost count of how many times I've tried to get my friends together to go on some sort of adventure, like we used to, only to be met with "Sorry I can't, I'm busy"... And then within the next few days find photos on my newsfeed of all of these people going out and doing this stuff... without me.

I've been lonely as fuck for the past year, and dealing with my depression, and because nobody seems to want to be around me, all I've done outside of work for the most part has been to hide at home and stare at the internet and not talk to anybody. And then I find out tonight that it's to the point where people who I thought were my 'friends' would rather lie about hanging out with me, than actually try to hang out with me.

It fucking hurts, and because I am the way I am my first reaction has been to blame myself for why things have gotten to this point-- maybe it's because I really am screwed up, maybe it's because I haven't been doing enough to try to go hang out with them... I've got myself convinced that it's entirely my fault somehow, and I'm so fucked up right now over it that I left work early, came home, and have been crying off and on ever since. I don't know what to do.

It's bad enough that I'm trying to get into mermaiding here and there's nobody local to help me out, or try it out with me. I've been feeling totally alone for the longest while, not just about the mermaiding but about literally everything, and tonight's just made everything feel so much worse. I haven't bothered to go to the pool to practice swimming in almost two months because of it, even though I have a totally gorgeous tail on order and in the works right now.

I posted a rant on my Facebook about the situation earlier, and naturally, people-- not all of them the ones I was talking about in my rant, mind-- started coming out of the woodwork with "Oh, I'm your friend, you can totally come hang out with me at this thing I'm doing on [insert date here]!" and... Honestly, I feel so burned and so bitter that I don't know who to trust at this point. Part of me is convinced that these people, who I've barely spoken to in weeks, really are sincere and have just been busy with their lives the same way I have and genuinely want to make it up to me in some way, but... Then there's the part of me that feels like they're only reaching out to me now because they think I'm calling them out specifically in my FB rant (hell, a few of them even suggested that I made my rant specifically about them, when it wasn't the case) and that they're only making contact now because I made them feel guilty, and they need to try and do something to shut me up and pat themselves on the back to make them feel better about it. I'm so skeptical about it all and I feel like I can't trust them no matter how sincere they are.

I don't know what to do. Admittedly I've always been kind of a defeatist, and have been taking this whole thing tonight as a reason to just... give up on trying. Every time I try to make plans with my friends, it crashes and burns and I end up shafted, excluded, whatever. I keep telling myself that if I basically just go silent and stop bothering with it all, the people who really do matter will notice and sort of come around on their own... But I've been so lonely and depressed for so long at this point, that I'm terrified that if I go that route, nobody will come at all and I'll be left totally alone.

I was supposed to be going on a trip to Toronto in September with my boyfriend and a group of his friends who are attending a YGO card tournament there, but as I'm not participating in the tournament (and don't care all that much for kids' card games, tbh) I'd basically have like 10+ hours each day there to kill by myself. I tried to find someone to go along with me, but then it occurred to me... I don't have any friends close enough to go on a trip like that with me anymore. So I opted to drop out of the trip altogether and stay home, because without a friend to go with me I didn't feel like I could justify spending $800+ (that I could barely afford anyway) to go hide in a hotel room by myself for a weekend. Which sucks, because I'm desperate to get off this fucking island because it's honestly killing me to be stuck here, but that's a totally different rant for a different time.

IDK. I don't know what I'm doing and I don't know how to even fucking interact with people anymore. All I want to do anymore is hide.

[Echidna]

There's probably nothing I can say to make you feel better, but from reading on here, I have the impression you're a very nice person.
Forget about the guys who aren't reliable and just post this and that on FB without ever following it up.
They might not be interested in a genuine friendship, more in a superficial "oh look how many cool friends I Have!"-kind of way.

I know it can get lonely. I wish I had more real life interaction with other mers and more gigs and stuff with likeminded people. That's the result of being stuck in the middle of waterless territory, I guess.

I don't feel quite as alone because there's MN though :)
even if I seldom meet and perform with other mers, there are all on here, and that's great.

[AniaR]

Damn you sciatica!!!

http://now-here-this.timeout.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/01/anigif_enhanced-buzz-30742-1380680075-0.gif

[Aziara]

Ok, so Saturday my husband was sitting on the porch. Either the neighbor didn't know he was outside, or she wanted him to hear. She starts yelling to her husband that "If those blankity-blank neighbor cats step one foot on my property again, I'm poisoning them!!" Here's the thing: I've had 2 cats disappear already in the 3 years we've lived here. Now I'm starting to wonder what happened to them. The worst part is that my neighbor is completely hypocritical: Her little yorkie spends half its time in my yard, barking at my cats. I've never complained about it, (I mean, dog are dogs, they're gonna do what comes naturally) nor have I complained about all the garbage that their bratty grandkids throw over my fence. I've actually seen this neighbor chase my cats, and she kept chasing them after she was in my yard, and threw garbage at my house!! I have all 4 of my current cats in the house at the moment, but that's not really a permanent solution. I'm about ready to go knock on her door and give her a piece of my mind.

[Merman Dan]

I'm about ready to go knock on her door and give her a piece of my mind.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M5GmBBXywyI

[PearlieMae]

Squirtgun (or long-range supersoaker) full of lemon juice for the dog; video the kids throwing garbage into your yard, then throw it back; video the neighbor chasing your cats and file a complaint for harassment and trespassing, and keep the cats inside.

I've had neighbors who've poisoned cats and the police won't do anything about it.

My cats only go outside when I'm out and they stay where I can see them. Yeah, it's weird, but I've trained my cats to come when I call them. Plus, they're old and not into exploring much.

If it keeps up, go on Craigslist and advertise that there is a free beer party for bikers at her address (just kidding!).

[BayouMermaid]

Wow, what a terrible person. And pearlie, that's actually a pretty good idea lol

[Aquarianne]

I'm so pissed today...I'm currently the wardrobe manager for an operetta company's latest production and I have a REALLY hard job, keeping track of 125 costumes, a ton of actors, doing tons of alterations and fittings and last-minute additions and staying up all night sewing and fixing stuff.

So this no-nothing stage hand decides he's gonna flirt with me last night. he's loud, obnoxious, he won't stop TALKING backstage even when we're on live mics for the rehearsal and the stage manager has already told him to shut up. He just apologizes, talks quietly for five minutes, then goes right back to his giant booming voice, talking at actors who are trying to change or memorize lines. His jaw gets more of a workout than his stage hand abilities.

So he walks up to me while I'm doing some fast alterations and starts off with, "Sooooo, you must be one of the costume ninjas!"

I am not "one of the costume ninjas." I am the damn WARDROBE MANAGER. The same way that the director is not "one of the script monkeys." Even after I told this guy I had a (fictitious) boyfriend, he wouldn't stop gabbing at me the whole show.

I don't want to talk to the stage manager and get him kicked off the show, but I kinda do. He's disruptive and loud backstage and clearly has more time to lean and talk at people than do actual work. he keeps telling all the actors "good job, you're doing a good GOOD job" and clapping them on the back after every scene, to their extreme annoyance. They're professional actors, they don't need some dumb stagehand clapping them on the back like it's a little league baseball game.

Plus we are at an outdoor ampi-theatre...any talking backstage on show night will be heard by the audience, and this idiot clearly can't keep quiet. I myself have a LOUD voice that carries, like his. But I make an effort to control it and talk quietly. He gets warned, starts whispering for five minutes, then gradually goes back to full volume. And he needs to NOT TALK at ALL backstage. He has no reason to talk back there anyway! He's treating the show like we're all putting on this very large and expensive production purely for him to walk about and make new friends and get a few phone numbers. Like it's his personal match.com or something.

But I'm new with this company and don't want to complain to the stage manager, whose job is already hard and she's already annoyed with half the stage crew as it is. Maybe I will mention it to the director.

[Echidna]

report him.
If he's that obnoxious, everyone else will want him to be gone too, plus no company needs such an a$$.

The neighbor problem is more tough.
What Pearlie said was good counsel, but even all that won't change them and they're plain pains in the behind.
My cats are indoors always unless I walk them.
Many people think they're kings of the earth and lords supreme over life and death of everything that isn't human.
It's not worth risking.
Keep an eye on your pets always!

[SeaGlass Siren]

i had a problem with another guy like that recently. i told him to go back to work and he still comes to bug me. eventually the boss fired him.

[PearlieMae]

If you can get the stage manager and director together at the same time, tell them that, despite your best efforts, you can't get this guy to be quiet during the production, and for the GOOD OF THE SHOW he needs to be reassigned to another position in the front of the house or further backstage. If they choose to terminate his services, it's not your fault.

[Aquarianne]

If you can get the stage manager and director together at the same time, tell them that, despite your best efforts, you can't get this guy to be quiet during the production, and for the GOOD OF THE SHOW he needs to be reassigned to another position in the front of the house or further backstage. If they choose to terminate his services, it's not your fault.

Thanks Mae, I will talk to the stage manager tomorrow at rehearsals, and then the director if I need to! XD

Btw, I can't find it right now but I LUUURVS your tail-making threads, they're amazing!! I feel so much more confident in making my first tail now!!

[SeaGlass Siren]

I almost ragequit work today. wrote up a resignation letter and everything but i was having second thoughts. so i decided to ask my co worker (senior sales manager) for his opinion. he was genuinely shocked and asked why since i was fully committed to my work and getting things done. i told him the issues i was having with the other employees and how it's taking a toll emotionally. he then proceeded to give me fatherly advice. he was so nice about it. he told me not to because everywhere i go i'm going to encounter the same people and deal with the same emotional mental stress in some way shape or form. also the company is expanding and going through growth pains so if i can survive this it'll look good on my resume when i actually do quit.
i still wanted to quit but when it got to the end of the day we talked a little bit more to cheer myself up and he said "i'll see you tomorrow"

and then i changed my mind because i said i was gonna see him tomorrow and if i dont i'd be lying and have a guilty conscience :( i also said i was gonna organize his desk for him because he's been super nice to me. compared to the other assholes i have to deal with. i just dont know how long i'm gonna be able to put up with the growing pains and stupidity of workers who can't (literally) comprehend English, OR follow rules and procedures..

[Blaze]

Cancer f*cking sucks.

Just got word that my boss from my previous job passed away last night after a long battle with cancer. He was a great Boss, a wonderful Mentor and an AMAZING Man. One day soon I will go to NOLA and sit on a park bench and have fun in his name (one of his many wonderful stories).

Dammit.

[Echidna]

so sorry to hear.
many people I knew have also died to cancer, some quite young still.

sadly, due to the toxins in our environment everywhere, cancer rates are going to rise even more in the future.

[SeaMansa]

This is less angry and more introspective but oh well >> please allow me to vent
As usual I am sitting home today just doing my regular teenage guy things (*cough* reading, writing, tv, etc*) and I start thinking about my life and i just realized.... I am extremely unhappy. I mean, i have always had these thoughts before but today it really hits me and hurts me. I have friends but even surrounded by them, I always feel so alone. It sounds cliche but truly, i can say that nobody "gets" me. My family is very loving but we are all polar opposites. I am the black sheep of the family, ive always been the nerdy weird one and while i am glad to be that way (i would never want to be one of those jocky sports dude who just sling their things at every chick that walks by) I hate the fact that i just never feel....good about myself. I get good grades, I've been told i am creative, funny, and I have yet to have an english teacher that hasn't complimented me on my writing skills (excuse the errors that may be present in the post though). And yet, I just always feel so....down. My last relationship was 3 years ago and i spent the whole thing questioning why someone would EVER want to be with ME? To make it worse, I later found out that tons of people would ask the girl i was with at the time why she was dating me of all people because i was so...just not in her league, and that really hurt my self esteem which is already low as ever >>
I try to be happy and think about the future. But I really feel like my future is just as bleak as my present. I am in college majoring in film. I REALLY want to be a screenwriter. BUT I've slowly been learning through career research that it is very hard to make it in the film industry and that film degrees are virtually a waste of time. So I am pretty bummed and questioning whether i should keep at it or try something else. *sigh*
I hate the way I look and i hate the way i dress. And of course my family does nothing but criticize me about both. I am a very relaxed guy and i mainly only like to wear jeans and t-shirt and rarely do i go anywhere that calls for more than that. But at every turn they have something to say, i even overheard them laughing at me once about the fact that i am 19 and because of the way i dress, i look way younger (my weigh+height+clothing makes me look like i could go for maybe 16) and it just really hurts >> but i suck it up... Im no suicidal or anything (aint nobody got time fo dat) but i just needed to type all that out. No solutions needed.

[PearlieMae]

Yeah, you said no solutions needed, but too bad. :)

Fuck what everybody else thinks! Follow your dream and make every day an adventure! The future is what you make of it. Don't worry if it seems bleak, you have the power to change it. Ordinary People suck, so be the one to rise above mediocrity! BE fucking awesome!

Creative people never have an easy time of it, but the rewards are so worth it!

I know, what does some old lady know?

Turns out, she knows a lot. :mermaid kiss:

[SINicallyTwisted]

So very annoyed right now. I just received an email about an appearance, which generally would be fine, only this was more on the lines of...

"We have this event in a week or so and we will need you there at this time."

No, 'hi how are you, would you be available to come to this event' or anything like that. Didn't even bother to asking! Just 'we need you at this time'.

Ummmm...WHAT!?!

:anger explode:

[PearlieMae]

Double your fee for putting up with bad manners. :D

[SINicallyTwisted]

Double your fee for putting up with bad manners. :D

I can't help but think that if this is the level of "professionalism" in just the email alone, I can only imagine the level at the actual event itself, which makes me cringe at just the thought of it.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[Seraphina Suds]

Is it someone you've worked with before? If not, they certainly have an entitlement issue! Even if you have worked with them in the past, still pushy. I like Pearlie's suggestion. :p

[SINicallyTwisted]

Is it someone you've worked with before? If not, they certainly have an entitlement issue! Even if you have worked with them in the past, still pushy. I like Pearlie's suggestion. :p

No but I do know OF this person and I know that there has been MANY complaints about unprofessional behavior at past (and recent) events. Also likes to go around telling/bragging/claiming to patrons at various events that I'm a "really good close friend" which is not even remotely close. :rolleyes:

I replied declining this....request/demand?...as politely as possible.

[Seatan]

This is less angry and more introspective but oh well >> please allow me to vent
As usual I am sitting home today just doing my regular teenage guy things (*cough* reading, writing, tv, etc*) and I start thinking about my life and i just realized.... I am extremely unhappy.

Aw, SeaMage, I feel for you. Let me share something I learned when I was on a little island in Honduras this summer: You don't need anything to be happy. Real happiness is simply accepting that you have what you have and you are who you are and that you don't need ANYTHING else.

I was so depressed when I left for my trip on Utila, feeling like a failure who would never accomplish anything. I had lost my first teaching job, my house was like a trash dump, my fiance and I broke up last year leaving me almost thirty and single, I'd gotten in a fight with the owner of the horse I leased and lost him, I felt out of shape and disgusting... The list went on and on. Then I got to that island and saw all these people who just didn't CARE about ANY of that stuff, and it changed my viewpoint forever.

See, it's a pain in the butt to get anything TO the island, so nobody has anything to covet. People have what they have and they are happy with that. As long as they have food to eat and shelter to live in, life is good. Success is living life and enjoying it. There was no internet access, so no fancy tails or IKEA furniture to drool over. There were no big shops, so nothing to buy. Houses and cars and boats were all run down, but they worked and that was all anyone cared about. There was no sense of needing to GET THINGS DONE OMG RIGHT NOW, because the ocean and weather dictated when you could come and go places. Everything was done on "island time." It was a kind of relaxed I had never felt in my entire life, and I was happy, truly happy, for the first time in a long time. Not because I was on an awesome vacation, but because it made me realize that being happy is simply a matter of enjoying what you have and being satisfied with it. If you are happy and satisfied with what you have now (and who you are), then anything good in the future will just make you MORE satisfied and happy, while any "down" moments are just learning experiences and you go right back to happy and satisfied--because as long as you have the basics to survive, there's nothing else you need. Just enjoy what you have--that's what those people do.

I don't know if this is a feeling you can get while being surrounded by the first world insanity that is America, but I wanted to share since it has been a LIFE CHANGER for me. Going someplace where people have NOTHING (compared to us possession hogs in America) and yet are so HAPPY was a serious wake up call. RING RING. "Hey there, Seavanna, guess what? TV and movies and magazines and Facebook ads and neighbors and friends and family--they have all been LYING to you. You don't need ANYTHING to be happy. All you need to be happy is to be satisfied and NOT WORRY about anything else." It's a glorious realization, even if it took me a trip to a third world country to come to it! I really hope you feel better in the future.

[coral_sybil]

I hate that I feel like I have to defend myself all the time, like I'm looked down as a lesser person because I attempt to be part of communities but I have a hard time communicating with people. Making them either take what I say out of contest, or they respond in a way that I feel like I'm being scolded and chastised for something I didn't do.

I hate that I even though I'm more than capable of living by myself and love doing so and laughing at my own horrible jokes. Society has bred within me the need to fit in somewhere or be able to make friends with people. Because we need each other apparently. So even when I'm by myself there is always that part of me that wonders what's wrong with me to the point that while I can giggle by myself and have no need to talk outloud unless having full on existential and philosophical debate with myself, I cannot keep myself from talking about how I'm talking to myself in public for no other reason than I just cannot handle the fact that I am near them.. And they are near me. And I cannot just go up and ask them their life story and listen from beginning to end so I can try to understand them more. I cannot go and take a scientific or philosophic look into a strangers life over coffee because that is not acceptable.

I cannot horse around with my cousins and my siblings without people looking at me like I'm a creeper because of the dark circles under my eyes and my frizzy hair. Which looks like that because I am up late trying to meet the needs of my roommates and my hair because screw humidity. I was that child that would have my hair sticking to the sides of the slide. It's frizzy, yes, but it's thick and healthy enough to be donated to making wigs. But no one would ask that. But no, of course I must either be mentally handicapped because I can totally get what the children are talking about, or I must be someone out to prey on them just because of how I look. It has nothing to do with the fact that the sillier you are the more children laugh at you.

I am sick of having to second guess every thought I have and wondering if it's caused by the mores of society and the norms associated within the culture I grew up in? Am I acting in a way like my family in a strong patriarchal sense? Am I objectifying women because that's how I was taught to perceive myself worth? Am I angry because I don't feel like I'm getting my share or am I angry because I want to be or am I angry because I have every right to be angry?

I hate that even moment I feel passionate I look insane and every moment I am lost in thought I am accused of looking violent. I hate that every second of my waking day is filled with doubt and questions and when I have a moment where I think I'm fine and that I have found the level of kooky that people can deal with I am proven wrong or another element has been added to the equation.

I can try to understand but the more I try to understand the crazier I look to others and the more I depress those closest to me with my observations. Even if it means being the youngest roommate and getting the landlords to keep up their end of the bargain, it still makes me feel so claustrophobic.

[SINicallyTwisted]

So my issue turned out a bit horrid. I replied to the request/demand/assumption/whatever it is of me being at an event that I know no information about, politely as possible declining it and I received a reply which was basically "I have already told people you were going to appear! YOU have to be there!"

:eye twitch:

So I replied again and again I'm trying to keep my cool and be as polite as possible. In my reply I mentioned fees and I got the whole "Fee? Why should I pay you? We're friends! Why would charge me?" blah blah blah all the way down to...

"It would be great exposure for you!" <---- really hates that line!

:headwall:

Now I've meet this person a few times at different events but not ever really kept in touch beyond that and this is the first time dealing with this person on a business level. If you would even consider this shipwreck anything business like. I'm now understanding why there have been complaints since I'm dealing with it first hand.

How do I politely say...just because you come up to me at some events and say hi to me, does not make me your bestie!

I don't want to come across as Ms. Crabby Diva Fins but right now I really want to punch this person in the throat at next sighting. :mad:

[Mermaid Wesley]

Tell them that they should have booked you formally or asked you as a friend, since they did neither. It wasn't professional or friendly so....


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[coral_sybil]

How do I politely say...just because you come up to me at some events and say hi to me, does not make me your bestie!

I don't want to come across as Ms. Crabby Diva Fins but right now I really want to punch this person in the throat at next sighting. :mad:

Most of the friends I know who do things (leather binding books, palm reading, etc) when it comes to setting up events it's a matter of 'this is what I do for a living'. Most friends will understand, and those that don't simply aren't your friends or don't understand.

If they do pull that on you, the stuff of you shouldn't charge them. I'd talk Wesley's advice, but just remember to use you best grownup/professional voice in the matter.

[PearlieMae]

Go totally pro on her. Tell her 'I'm sorry, you didn't contact me about scheduling an appearance, we haven't gone over logistics and you haven't even signed a contract. If I HAD been properly scheduled, I would have given you advertising materials to be included in your promotions. If you want me to appear at your function with this little notice, my fee is doubled (YES, I said DOUBLED); you will need to provide proof of event insurance; and I will need the following items upon my arrival (outline what you want for lunch, a bucket of iced bottles of water, etc...). You shouldn't have told anyone I was already going to be there without a signed contract, and at this point, I am under no obligation to appear at your event. And a friend would have already known this.'

As for "great exposure for you" (I get that all the time when asked to photograph), say 'I have all the exposure I need, thank you, and when I need more exposure, my marketing team handles that. Have a nice day! :) '

[Raayvhen]

I agree 100% with Pearlie.


Also, I heard about the fire in Lowell. I hope you weren't affected in any way. (You, family, friends...)

[SeaGlass Siren]

Pearlie needs a standing ovation. totally agree with everything she said.

[Talia]

Go totally pro on her. Tell her 'I'm sorry, you didn't contact me about scheduling an appearance, we haven't gone over logistics and you haven't even signed a contract. If I HAD been properly scheduled, I would have given you advertising materials to be included in your promotions. If you want me to appear at your function with this little notice, my fee is doubled (YES, I said DOUBLED); you will need to provide proof of event insurance; and I will need the following items upon my arrival (outline what you want for lunch, a bucket of iced bottles of water, etc...). You shouldn't have told anyone I was already going to be there without a signed contract, and at this point, I am under no obligation to appear at your event. And a friend would have already known this.'

As for "great exposure for you" (I get that all the time when asked to photograph), say 'I have all the exposure I need, thank you, and when I need more exposure, my marketing team handles that. Have a nice day! :) '

ROCK ON! :clap:

[SeaMansa]

So I was in standing outside the car with my uncle today (it was parked) and whilst speaking to him, he literally whips it out and starts pissing in front of me -.- WHO DOES THAT!!! THATS DISGUSTING!!!!!!! And what makes it worse? He DOES IT TWICE!!!!!!!!!!! I was standing there like "Oh. My. God. >_> *stares at everything in the opposite direction* I swear people, family shouldn't be that close. Like there was a bathroom, ya know >>

[PearlieMae]

:jawdrop:

[SeaGlass Siren]

.... o-o

[SINicallyTwisted]

Go totally pro on her. Tell her 'I'm sorry, you didn't contact me about scheduling an appearance, we haven't gone over logistics and you haven't even signed a contract. If I HAD been properly scheduled, I would have given you advertising materials to be included in your promotions. If you want me to appear at your function with this little notice, my fee is doubled (YES, I said DOUBLED); you will need to provide proof of event insurance; and I will need the following items upon my arrival (outline what you want for lunch, a bucket of iced bottles of water, etc...). You shouldn't have told anyone I was already going to be there without a signed contract, and at this point, I am under no obligation to appear at your event. And a friend would have already known this.'

As for "great exposure for you" (I get that all the time when asked to photograph), say 'I have all the exposure I need, thank you, and when I need more exposure, my marketing team handles that. Have a nice day! :) '

I love you! :hug:

[SINicallyTwisted]

I agree 100% with Pearlie.


Also, I heard about the fire in Lowell. I hope you weren't affected in any way. (You, family, friends...)

Thank you. Our hearts goes out to the everyone. Very sad day! :(

[SINicallyTwisted]

So I was in standing outside the car with my uncle today (it was parked) and whilst speaking to him, he literally whips it out and starts pissing in front of me -.- WHO DOES THAT!!! THATS DISGUSTING!!!!!!! And what makes it worse? He DOES IT TWICE!!!!!!!!!!! I was standing there like "Oh. My. God. >_> *stares at everything in the opposite direction* I swear people, family shouldn't be that close. Like there was a bathroom, ya know >>

Wow! I too have family that do things ummmm inappropriately and they make me want to bang my head off a wall when I'm around them all the time so I totally feel your pain! *super mega snuggle hugs*

[PearlieMae]

I love you! :hug:

I love you, too, hunny! :mermaid kiss:

[Grey Gambit]

Getting pretty frustrated because no matter where I go I can never find a job. No callbacks, no nothing. :(

[Seatan]

Getting pretty frustrated because no matter where I go I can never find a job. No callbacks, no nothing. :(

I know the feeling, but have heart! I got a job two days ago after over six months of searching! Job hunts look like this:

No. No response. No response. No. No response. No. No. No response. No response. No. No response. No. No. No response. No response. No. No response. No. No. No response. No response. No. No response. No. No. No response. No response. No. No response. No. No. No response. No response. No. No response. No. No. No response. No response. No. No response. No. No. No response. No response. No. No response. No. No. No response. No response. No. No response. No. No. No response. No response. No. No response. No. No. No response. No response. No. No response. No. No. No response. No response. No. No response. No. No. No response. No response. No. No response. No.

YES!!!!!!!!! :lol:

[Mermaid Lily_Pad]

Soooo, we just moved to Florida in December and we LOVE our neighborhood. However...we have two dogs, a large 45 pound Aussie Shepard and a little pug. People are supposed to keep their dogs on a leash where we live and for the most part everyone does (and if they don't the dog is either really well trained and stays on it's property, or the owners are outside with the dog/dogs.) Our 8 year old Aussie is high strung and not used to being on leashes or being around dogs she doesn't know. She is pretty friendly but can get nervous so we make sure to try and never walk her when there are other dogs out to try and keep everyone calm. It has worked out fine except the're is a dog catercorner to us that the owner just lets out without anyone watching him. He is a little white thing, possibly a Maltese, maybe 15 pounds or so. The first time he met our Aussie he was unleashed and ran up to her and stood just outside her reach and began to snarl and bark at her...jumping and basically being a little asshole. My big Aussie wasn't going to stand for that and lunged at the dog. I managed to hold her back and get her back in the house. A few days later I talked with the other Neighbor who happens to be friends with the guy with the white dog. He asked how we were settling in and I told him fine except for our big dog who got attacked by the little white one. He didn't believe me, acted shocked that the white dog would do such a thing and basically said I didn't know what I was talking about. That dog got along with everyone and was great friends with his dog which ironically is a mini Aussie Shepard.

Fast Forward to another day and I am walking my dogs down the block and that little white fury comes screaming out of his driveway up the block and runs right at our Aussie growling and barking...the owner just happened to be outside and yelled for his dog to stop. Well...he didn't, he ran up right into my Aussies range and she flattened the little thing LOL. She didn't hurt him, just smacked him to the ground and let him know who was boss..he ran off with his tail tucked and his owner apologized profusely.
Turns out the little dog not only was trying to attack my dog, but also the puppy of the lady across from me.

So, tonight I go to walk the dogs and the friggin white dog comes running back across the street and goes to attack our Aussie again! I run both my dogs inside and lock the door before he can close enough to get hurt. My husband thinks I need to just let the Aussie go and let them have it out, cause it wouldn't be our fault the guy doesn't leash his dog. I can't do it, our Aussie would kill that dog and I wouldn't put anyone through that no matter how much of a shit their dog is. I don't want to start a war with our neighbors but this keeps happening! I didn't write about all of the times it has happened..but it's been more then just these and it's really pissing me off. Our dog gets labeled as the evil, vicious one when it's actually the neighbors dog who is attacking her and she is just defending herself and protecting me!

[Grey Gambit]

I know the feeling, but have heart! I got a job two days ago after over six months of searching! Job hunts look like this:

No. No response. No response. No. No response. No. No. No response. No response. No. No response. No. No. No response. No response. No. No response. No. No. No response. No response. No. No response. No. No. No response. No response. No. No response. No. No. No response. No response. No. No response. No. No. No response. No response. No. No response. No. No. No response. No response. No. No response. No. No. No response. No response. No. No response. No. No. No response. No response. No. No response. No. No. No response. No response. No. No response. No. No. No response. No response. No. No response. No. No. No response. No response. No. No response. No.

YES!!!!!!!!! :lol:

Well I'm at the six month line, but I'm doubting I'll be able to find anything. I'm running out of places to apply to in this tiny town. I'm starting to think about moving somewhere else, but it's SO HARD when you can't find someplace to hire you. I've got about $300 left to live on until I can find a job, and things aren't really looking up. :(

[Raayvhen]

To whom it may concern.

Dear Mr. Assface,

Thank you so much for ramming your shopping cart into my spine today at the grocery store. Though I admit you might not have seen me since I was putting my milk on the lower part of my cart, what I truly appreciate is you staring straight at me after I got up and exclaimed a well deserved "What the hell!" at you, and then quickly departing without so much as a sorry expression or a small verbal apology.

Yours truly, the girl who got in your way.

[Blaze]

I luff u Pearlie.

[SINicallyTwisted]

To whom it may concern.

Dear Mr. Assface,

Thank you so much for ramming your shopping cart into my spine today at the grocery store. Though I admit you might not have seen me since I was putting my milk on the lower part of my cart, what I truly appreciate is you staring straight at me after I got up and exclaimed a well deserved "What the hell!" at you, and then quickly departing without so much as a sorry expression or a small verbal apology.

Yours truly, the girl who got in your way.

Oh hell no. I so would have ran my mouth and thrown a tomato or something. Run by fruiting or some shit. *gentle hugs* Hope your back is ok. ;(

[Raayvhen]

He left his full cart behind so I'm sure he knew what would have happened if he stayed.

[PearlieMae]

I luff u Pearlie.

I luff yooo, too, Red!

[coral_sybil]

Our dog gets labeled as the evil, vicious one when it's actually the neighbors dog who is attacking her and she is just defending herself and protecting me!
An option is calling animal control next time it happens... it will cause ripples between you and your neighbor... perhaps you need to approach them and inform them that you do not want to put up with that dog and you're afraid your dog will hurt it if it comes up to attack you again and if they cannot keep it leashed you feel that it may require animal control being called in next time for the safety of the dogs.

[coral_sybil]

I hate that everytime I get emotional my roommates chalk it up to me being diagnosed with PTSD and refusing to be medicated for it.

Often or not when I try to hash things out and I start to get a little flustered because no one is listening to me it always ends up with "we know you don't want to be medicated... but we're starting to think you need it." They were fine with me prior to the three months I tried the medication. (I went off the medication, it was horrible, and I realized how much of a haze I was in while on it that made it hard to be to really process things.)

I don't think they understand, while being on the medication I still got freaked out, I just didn't have the energy to do something about it.

[Mermaid Lily_Pad]

Coral, check your private messages in a bit. I am going to write you when I drag myself out of bed. I have PTSD too but I found a doc that helped!

[Seatan]

Dropped my iPhone and busted the glass. Don't have an upgrade Til October so repair shop here I come. Damndamndamndamn! Pains me like a hard poop.

[NerineArcticMermaid]

AAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGG!!! I hate hypocrisy!!! No I'm not going to explain.

Fricken. Fracken.. twice!!

[PearlieMae]

:gah:If you don't have the ability, nay, the slightest bit of common sense, with regards to the proper use of punctuation, PLEASE - DON'T WRITE ANYTHING AT ALL.

If you must, separate your thoughts with a couple of hard returns!

Nothing drives me crazier than trying to decipher a long paragraph of rambling thought without any sort of rhyme or reason, except maybe ppl who lk to rite in txt spk in a discussion forum.

/end rant

[Merman Arion]

:gah:If you don't have the ability, nay, the slightest bit of common sense, with regards to the proper use of punctuation, PLEASE - DON'T WRITE ANYTHING AT ALL.

If you must, separate your thoughts with a couple of hard returns!

Nothing drives me crazier than trying to decipher a long paragraph of rambling thought without any sort of rhyme or reason, except maybe ppl who lk to rite in txt spk in a discussion forum.

/end rant

:clap::clap::clap::clap::clap::clap::clap::clap::c lap:

I totally agree. Some people... *sighs*

[AniaR]

It bugs me that " pro mermaids" who made a fake account here and pretty much got called out on their poor behavior is now trying to buy favours with mers who aren't on the forum by promoting their pages. It happened as soon as we called them out.

[Seraphina Suds]

Classy of them =_=

[Raayvhen]

Wait, I think I missed some drama..... Details?

[SeaGlass Siren]

Here's a drama there's a drama and another little drama and another drama drama drama drama-- fuck!

[AniaR]

Also, Ive started seeing viral images (photos and comics and drawings etc) where MM has started adding her own website watermark to the images to drive traffic to her site. Not only does she photo shop herself into stolen images, now she's trying to take credit for them -_- I think this is the lamest thing ever. Example, cropped this infamous mermaid comic and added her watermark

https://fbcdn-sphotos-a-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-xpf1/t1.0-9/10488245_10202264636124053_2864518926068804419_n.j pg

Also the 10years strong thing really annoys me since christmas 2010 when I was in LA she was messaging me constantly to help her because she didn't own a tail yet and Adam Martyn had stolen her money. *still has all the emails* You can even check her fb right down to when it was founded, she didn't have a tail and launch her own mermaid company til 2011, anything prior to that was contract work for mertailor not her own business where she managed mermaids and owned tanks -_- It bothers me because I have emails and emails and emails and we had posts and posts and posts on meryuku where she complained about mertailor doing this kind of misleading and stuff and she does it all too. I think the reason I find it hard to let this go is because I (and Raven) helped her get going. We helped her deal with all the crap. Raven even put her in one of her own tails and got her a gig when she was waiting for tails. She was ready to give up mermaids and we pushed her forward the same way I try to help a lot of you get off the ground. Then she stabs me in the back. I don't care about credit or any BS like that. But as someone who works their @$$ off on their own company the stuff she (and a few others like Kat) pull blows my mind. Stop pretending to be so successful and just focus on being successful. Stop pretending to care about people and actually CARE about people. I don't ever expect people to be perfect, or follow my set of morals or any bs like that. I just get tired of the intense fake-ness and I hate that these people are out there representing mermaids to the world because it's not what we're about.

[PearlieMae]

I would love to call her out on her bullshit, Raina. Say the word and I WILL.

[coral_sybil]

okay, obviously I missed that drama llama drive by on the Mermaid Melissa front

[Seatan]

Have you guys seen the video about her that is actually a paid ad on YouTube, the kind that it counts down until you can skip? It's this nine minute video:

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=MZAtvLDNEh0

but it comes up before some mermaiding videos as an ad. I was trying to watch Kanti's video on tailmaking and it started up, really confusing me until I realized it was an ad!

[Echidna]

I would love to call her out on her bullshit, Raina. Say the word and I WILL.

/popcorn

no, but seriously.
taking a comic (or any image belonging to someone else) and just putting your name under it... that's retarded.

has potential for mockery though.
like, taking any picture of a politician or religious figure and just writing "Mermaid Wonderful" beneath.

[AniaR]

I try to keep my frustrations in check but I could fill a book with what I know. I don't say everything because other people are involved and don't want to get dragged into drama. But I got seriously harassed by someone in the community for over a year because she told them lies about me. And I mean this person stalked and harassed me so bad based on her word with no proof they would have been arrested if they lived in my country. It is the whole cycle of let's make raina look bad so people don't believe what she says. ( even though I back my stuff up always)

Anyway I just had to rant lol usually once a year I just gotta get it off my chest.

[Scottish Mer]

I do get tired of hearing about Melissa and even being compared to her by the entertainment company I was once close to working for.. :eye twitch: It annoys me a lot since to them she's set the requirements needed to be met to even be called a 'mermaid'.

[Merman Dan]

...I could fill a book with what I know.

So that's the next book, then? "ControMERsy". ;)

[AniaR]

She knows I know one of the worst things she's ever done to a community member and she's afraid I'll tell people so every once in a while I get shit thrown my way to intimidate me. But I don't talk about it because she scares me. I stay silent out of respect for the people involved who don't want the drama or to be victimized. Today I woke up to three brand new YouTube accounts whose only activity is telling me mermaid melissa is better than me and I'm not a professional. Then the accounts get deleted. I don't really strive to be anything like her and don't consider us in the same league at all.

[Seatan]

That's the ultimate in childishness. Sometimes you can't even believe these people are adults. Time to grow up--you're not eleven years old anymore, posting anonymous jabs about your classmate's ugly skirt on Tumblr. Once you get to adulthood there is no excuse for that kind of behavior--it's just pitiable (and I do mean pitiable, not pitiful because I pity people whose views are so narrow that they actually believe online harassment is an okay thing to do.)

[coral_sybil]

I admit I'm curious, but I can understand wanting to be respectful of the others involved. Though it makes me wonder what it was that she did to that anonymous community member. I hope it wasn't serious. (like someone being injured serious)

Course in all what comes to mind is that song "high school never ends".

[SeaGlass Siren]

She probably has water on the brain.

[Blaze]

So that's the next book, then? "ControMERsy". ;)

22621

[Mermaid Lily_Pad]

Raina,

I thought you would like this. I was talking to a friend in another genre online. I mentioned that I wanted to get into mermaiding and my friend said "Oh have you heard of Raina the Halifax mermaid!"....No mention of Melissa or any other mermaids, you were the first they thought of. I got to say "Yes! I talked to her! She is awesome".

Keep being awesome!

[AniaR]

lol aww

I don't want to come off jealous or like I think I'm better or like I think I am in competition with her or anything. Because I don't think about her until something comes in my newsfeed through someone else. It's just one of those "hurts" that has taken a very long time to let go of. I also get such a chip in my shoulder about justice and I hate the whole facade stuff ya know? But I mean, it bothers me just as much in other mers who do it- not just her. She's just the one I have personal background with. And I know she's got some "spies" here. There's about 3 members who love whenever I post something on mernetwork to sent it off to people lol

[coral_sybil]

Jeepers Creepers... When people do that I get bored... I was part of a metaphysical group that did that... a LOT. The head/leader ended up with basically a cult, and every month he'd go off on a pout and come back yelling at people and being over all abusive and they'd beg his forgiveness and compliment him, and other metaphysical groups would complain about him stealing their stuff and not crediting them and he'd have spies who'd come over and complain that so and so said this or that and the group would rise up and flame that page horribly...

I'd say stuff that was neutral (so I didn't really make any friends) but the leader would be like "thank you" and show appreciation. That is up until I told him he didn't need to worry about me trying to break him and his current girlfriend up as he wasn't my type... Oops.

He threw a hissy and I left.

Why?

Cause I don't play or appreciate playground politics.

[Merman Arion]

I finally heard back from SpecialFins.com today. Last week, I ordered from them a bag for my merman tail and I was supposed to get it last Monday through express airmail (DHL). That didn't happen and I got no response from the emails I sent to know where it was. It was important to me that I get it this week!! :headwall:

It's funny HOW EFFECTIVE it is to use the following expressions "If I do not get it tomorrow, I'm gonna ask for a refund" and "Note that I will be ready to take legal actions to have my money back". They failed their service, I was in my rights to react and be upset. :mad:

Apparently, they made a mistake on my shipping adress, hence why the bag couldn't be here sooner... I'm still suspicious because I didn't get a proper tracking number the first time. Now, I do and they apologized and made sure the shipping adress is correct this time. Hopefully, I'm gonna get my bag next Monday. Nevertheless, I'm still very disappointed. :thumbdown:

My current mood :

http://media.tumblr.com/a5f62049fd656902548a0811e6f917ad/tumblr_mixg2dAWLl1qdlh1io1_400.gif

[Seatan]

Aw man, that SUCKS hun!

22668

[Lostariel Telrunya]

Okay, I still have yet to actually read through this whole thread, but I really feel like I need to vent. I'm sorry if someone has already said something similar.

Before I actually get into my rant, we need some context. First off, I am going into grade 11 this fall. I like to think I am a good student. I finish all of my homework on time, even if it doesn't have to be handed in. I enjoy school, even though there are some not-so-fun parts. I like to learn new things and use them in everyday life. I am friends with all of my teachers, and I am part of a whole bunch extra-curricular courses.
The problem, however, is that I get MAJOR test anxiety. Like, shaking, headache, dizziness, if it's a big test sometimes I just go into a mini panic attack and my whole body goes completely numb. So, when I have a lot of subjects that I want to take, that require a certain score in another subject in order to apply for that course, I get sad. I love school, but whenever I take a test or anything, my mind goes into complete survival mode and my brain just shuts down. That causes my score to drop. I get great marks if it is an activity that you do in class with a group or something, but even the exact same question on a test will send me into major overdrive and I can't think.
Okay, now it is the present (or, at least, around this year). I already signed up for my courses for the fall, but I ended up with too many courses than my timetable allows (when you're taking Bio and Chem AP ( both full year courses), choir, two jazz bands, Art AP, Concert Band, Symphonic Band, Wind Ensemble, and Jazz Choir, you end up too many things). Because I am selfish and didn't want to let any courses go, I instead subjected myself to... DUH DUH DUUUUH..... summer school. I ended up taking CALM and Math 20 AP from July 1st, ending July 25th. CALM ended early (I finished last Wednesday), which was actually a really fun course. But then there was math. More context: I hate math with every single molecule within me. When sin entered the world, so did high school math (and wasps). So why did I take Math AP? If I were my past self, I would probably say (in the cheeriest way possible) "because I want to challenge my self to do better!", whereas my present says "I have absolutely no idea". Now I'm being sidetracked. Anyways, when I got my whole course set up for math and the beginning of the month, I was excited! I was ready to finish it quickly. When you take math in the summer, you go over about the material you would cover in a week and a half during a school year, in around 4 hours. I thought at the beginning, "that's alright, I can tough it up, and if I'm having trouble, I can just email my teacher." I finished all of my homework (which was a LOT), and I got nearly all of the questions correct. And then my test came. The curriculum wasn't hard at all for me to do, or at least it wouldn't-- if it weren't in test form. Where I got 98% accuracy on all of my homework, I got a 70% on my test. For me, that is really bad. After that happened for the next two units as well, I emailed my teacher for the fifth time (the other four she didn't respond) saying that I was frustrated with my mark, and I asked if there were any other options so I could have more practice. She finally responded, which was literally accusing my of lying about all of the homework and that I just needed to pay attention to the textbook. I had explained my problem with test anxiety in the second of the four 'lost emails', so I resent that email so she could read it, then I told her politely that I was not lying, and I offered to scan in my homework so that she could look at it. She instead told me to scan every single sheet I used to complete homework since the start of the course. I asked her if I really had to do that, because that would mean scanning more than 70 pages of looseleaf. She insisted that was the right thing to do. So, I scanned them (it ended up being 88 double-sided pages), and finally sent them to my teacher. She then sent an email complaining about the size of my email, and reprimanded me for sending them all in one email, that I should have sent them individually. I didn't. Yet another test came around, and this time I got a 72%, and I wanted to look at how she marked my test. After about a week of nothing, my teacher finally sent me a scan of my test, and I could point out at least five questions where her answer key was wrong. This meant that every other kid who answered correctly got docked marks. I sent her another email, informing her (again, politely) of the errors in her answer key, and she replied by criticizing me on my snoopiness and said that I just don't know how to properly answer one of the specific questions. I directed her to 'The Homework Email', and told her the exact page where I practiced about 12 of them,and got them all right. She still has yet to reply to that particular email.
Sorry, this is getting to be WAY longer than I thought it would be, but I still have yet to finish, so just hang in there! My teacher had sent the class a link so that we could complete the cumulative test for the first four units. I had sent her various emails now explaining my test anxiety, asking her if there was anything I could do to make the test a little more 'pleasant (if that's the right word for it). She still had not replied. Then, in the email for the cumulative test, she made a comment about giving the test a shorter time limit so she could challenge us more. I was quite disgruntled about this, and sent yet another email. Then another, then another. She replied after about six attempts at contacting her. Her email consisted of once again accusing me of lying about the homework, and then for lying about test anxiety, saying that I just wanted extra time on the test (which I hadn't ever mentioned). I finished my cumulative test with an 81%, which was okay. But the email that came with the marked test made it seem like I failed. Her very first sentence reads "Hi, Chloe. I must say, I am very disappointed in your work.". It goes one from there, but I am required to keep some of it confidential, but the next, well, REST of the email reads "I had talked to your mother before this course began, and I must say I was excited to teach you. But your constant requests for ridiculous tasks, along with unwillingness to complete simply appalls me. Either you complete all of your work, or I will be forced to dock further marks from your already dropping marks, This is your only warning. DO NOT FALL BEHIND. ~~Your lovely math teacher, Mrs. ******". It is currently 8:22 PM, and I am still doing math homework (I started at 7:15 this morning). I'm done now, that is my rant. Sorry about the gigantic post.

[PearlieMae]

She doesn't seem like much of a teacher to me. I had the same kind of test anxiety, especially with math, so I feel ya!

Speak with your guidance counselor (take all your emails/documentation) and a vice principal (some kind of superior to this teacher) and explain your case and anxiety. She should not be treating you this way. You won't score any points by going over her head, but you know, she doesn't sound like she's very good at her job. The guidance counselor should be able to at least mediate what's going on.

Now, I graduated in 1978, so things could be way different now, but I don't think you should let this teacher essentially bully you. They aren't royalty, their JOB is to help you learn. Good luck!

[Lostariel Telrunya]

She doesn't seem like much of a teacher to me. I had the same kind of test anxiety, especially with math, so I feel ya!

Speak with your guidance counselor (take all your emails/documentation) and a vice principal (some kind of superior to this teacher) and explain your case and anxiety. She should not be treating you this way. You won't score any points by going over her head, but you know, she doesn't sound like she's very good at her job. The guidance counselor should be able to at least mediate what's going on.

Now, I graduated in 1978, so things could be way different now, but I don't think you should let this teacher essentially bully you. They aren't royalty, their JOB is to help you learn. Good luck!

Yeah, but the problem is that I'm doing it through an online program, so we don't really have contact with the principal. I have another test on Monday (on a unit that she hasn't even taught us yet, and, of course, it's Friday). I don't really know how to fix it.
I just finished yet another test during which my mom was being all funny and randomly stuck a thermometer under my tongue in the middle of test. My temoerature went up to 103 degrees while I was doing the test, and it went back down within 15 minutes after finishing the test. TAKE THAT TEACHER! pssh.

[Seatan]

EDIT: I see that you are in Canada and so I do not know if the education system is as terrible there as it is here in the US, but my final suggestion on how to win her over will probably still help you. :)

Let me start with this: I am totally on your side that this woman is being the b-word, but I want to try and help you salvage this situation, so I am going to give you advice as a teacher who knows what teaching is like and knows how students get on teachers' good sides.

Teaching is a very, very difficult job. When you are in school it seems like it just happens like magic, but in fact it is a ton of work. I work 12 hour days during the school year. This teacher may have four different classes she's teaching, may have three kids to take care of, may be up to her eyeballs with work... While it does not constitute good organization, it is not unheard of for teachers to lose emails. I get about thirty to forty emails a day during the school year from students, administration, and parents.

Teachers are also required to teach certain things in certain ways due to national legislation and administrative requirements. It is often very frustrating for teachers that they have to teach this way, and often the kids hate on them for it when, really, they would LOVE to teach something else in another way. This makes for a very high stress job, and when so many students lie and cheat, it is very difficult to pick out the good from the bad--because the majority of our students are NOT good students and they usually cannot be trusted. So my first suggestion: DON'T take this personally. She is probably just jaded out of her mind from all the BAD kids she's had in class and no longer trusts ANYONE. She may be dealing with half a dozen kids cheating at this very moment, and you were just unlucky enough to contact her during this time.

Also, the teacher probably does not have complete control over allowing you to test in a different manner. Allowing a student extra time, a different testing setting, or an alternative assignment is something called an "accommodation." Accommodations must be granted by a board that consists of the student, the student's parents, the counselor, a special education teacher, and a diagnostician. Sometimes teachers can give accommodations to people who have not gone through this process, but often it is not allowed. Pearlie Mae suggested contacting your assistant principal, and if this is a big enough problem then I suggest you do that, at least once school starts. Once you are granted this accommodation, NO teacher can deny you that right.

Pearlie Mae also mentioned that teachers are not royalty, and that is more true than she knows. Teachers are at the bottom of the heap. Principals are TERRIFIED of upsetting parents and teachers take the flack for EVERYTHING. If a student fails because they did NO work, the teacher gets in trouble for it. If a student misbehaves, the teacher gets marked down for not having better control. If a parent wants a parent-teacher conference, the principal WILL take the word of the student over the teacher simply to please the parent. That means that while you may see this teacher as cruel and controlling, she is actually looking over her shoulder every moment. If she makes one wrong move and the administration doesn't like it, then her job could be on the line. In other words, you may feel like she is accusing you of lying, while in her mind she is just covering her ass--if she allows YOU a test accomodation and NOT another student, well, guess what? Another parent might get mad and her job might be on the line. Most likely she just wants to be 100% sure that you are telling the truth before she offers you any extra help that another student may no get.

Also, realize that as teachers we really ARE lied to ALL the time. You may have never cheated, but on every single assignment I give in a school year, somebody cheats. The bigger the assignment, the more students cheat. It is NOT right for teachers to accuse students who have a good record, but sometimes it happens because we are just that jaded.

Overall, just do your very best to imagine yourself in her place. Imagine that you have tons of classes to teach, students that flagrantly cheat and lie, principals breathing down your necks, legislative rules that strangle your ability to teach, and pissed off parents just waiting for you to make a wrong move. It in NO WAY makes it right for her to treat you this way, but it is a good reason not to take it personally.

I suggest you request a telephone conference with her and start out showing sympathy to her viewpoint. State that you understand that a lot of kids cheat, but that you are not that kind of student. Tell her that you love to learn, but tests are very difficult for you. Let her know that if there is nothing she can do to help you in this instance because of certain rules that you understand, but that you would really appreciate her help. (This kind of acknowledgement makes teachers bend rules!) It may make you want to scream to have to be nice to her when you are so angry, but this IS how you win teachers over to your side. We receive almost no sympathy or compassion. My students wrote "YOU'RE A SHITTY TEACHER AND A BITCH" on my personal bookcase this year, and every time I see it I ache, because I really was just doing my best to teach them when I had pretty much no power at all thanks to administration.

Once again, I really feel for you--it is a horrible situation and I am not defending your teacher. I am just giving you advice I think will really make the difference. A little compassion goes a long way to teachers.

[PearlieMae]

Seavanna,

I hope you didn't take offense at my comment. I'm afraid I was projecting my own experiences into a familiar situation and spoke out of turn.

I have the highest regard for the teaching profession and can't imagine how hard it must be and how under appreciated teachers really are. I know I couldn't do it!

I hope my comments didn't hurt your feelings or offend you, I should have thought about it more before I said anything.

:)

[Mermaid Melanie]

lol aww

I don't want to come off jealous or like I think I'm better or like I think I am in competition with her or anything. Because I don't think about her until something comes in my newsfeed through someone else. It's just one of those "hurts" that has taken a very long time to let go of. I also get such a chip in my shoulder about justice and I hate the whole facade stuff ya know? But I mean, it bothers me just as much in other mers who do it- not just her. She's just the one I have personal background with. And I know she's got some "spies" here. There's about 3 members who love whenever I post something on mernetwork to sent it off to people lol

I feel like I can totally relate ! I will say though it was the injustice of everything that made me blow up about Kat and often I find myself wondering "god I hope I don't seem jealous or envious etc" but it really isn't about that ! When people wrong you, don't care about how it effects you, don care that they have hurt you and generally don't feel sorry for their actions at all ( other than trying to suck fin to be more popular in the community ) I just can't forgive unless there is a sincere apology - I understand why you don't want to dish out all the info about the bad experiences esp if it involves other mermaids, hopefully everyone will see through the lies and no one will get stung like that again - the likes of Kat and Melissa sound like mers of the same species.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[Ashley]

lol aww

I don't want to come off jealous or like I think I'm better or like I think I am in competition with her or anything. Because I don't think about her until something comes in my newsfeed through someone else. It's just one of those "hurts" that has taken a very long time to let go of. I also get such a chip in my shoulder about justice and I hate the whole facade stuff ya know? But I mean, it bothers me just as much in other mers who do it- not just her. She's just the one I have personal background with. And I know she's got some "spies" here. There's about 3 members who love whenever I post something on mernetwork to sent it off to people lol

There will always be people like that in the world no matter what and it actually saddens me that people are willing to go to such extremes to be the best, or be the most popular, the most beautiful, or set the standard for they think something should be. It breaks my heart seeing the world like that, and it's so funny to see how all other countries are all the exact same as well not just ours. The world can be cruel and hateful and I am so happy that you don't succumb to the pressure of the world or the people in it. There are a lot of people that proud of what you are doing to better yourself, follow your dreams and set your own standards. You have influenced so many people in such a good way. You also shouldn't worry about those people that are the spies or do the hateful things to you (ex: the youtube accounts) because you should just feel the comfort that whatever goes around comes around and they will get what the deserve. When I decided to come into mermaiding you (besides Hannah Fraser) are one of the first people that I heard about. From what I have read and seen of you; you have a golden heart and don't let little silly business like any it bother you because GIRL YOUR DOING and ROCKING AT BEING A MERMAID so poo on other people who think other wise. Keep up the great work and doing what you are doing and following your dreams. Stay awesome Raina!


~Ashley~

[Ashley]

So here's my rant,
- Fish Butts taking my money (yeah I know happened a year ago but it still just makes me so angry)
-people driving in the slow in the fast line
-people (on a nice) day driving way under the speed limit
- people always coming in late to work to relieve me and I say something and nothing is done about it
- my iPhone for going slow when I need it to do something/ anything
- producing artwork (portraits) for people and just because I work with them, they think they don't have to pay me and assume I will do it all for free (hey my pencils are expensive after awhile) even though I have told them they need to pay(which I still haven't gotten money for; but the aren't getting there picture until I do) and I spent out 8 hours on each face in portraits
-when people try to correct something but don't follow their own advise (drives me crazy [*hint: I usually say something, sometimes I can't control my mouth]); when people ask you for the truth no matter how down and dirty and you tell me but they don't like what they hear and they are mad at you for it (I am an extremely and honest and blunt person and will tell someone like it is)
- people that have no sense when they are driving( STORY TIME: Let me paint a picture of the road I was on; ok it is a four lane road with a median for turning individuals ok. I drive a white 2008 chevy Silverado, so I don't drive a small vehicle. Well I was driving down the road in the lane closest to the median, not the curb. I was taking my husband some food (minding my own business) when this girl about my age, driving alittle bit older model Silverado pulls out in front of me from a store on my side of the road and sits in the middle of my lane waiting for traffic that was in the opposite line. Oh, was she in the median at all do you ask; no she wasn't she was fully in my lane and she just sat there waiting. So at the last minute I served in to the lane closest to the curb to try and avoid TBONING her and possible killing her because its like 55 on that road. I was lucky that no one was in the lane beside me so I could swerve into it. But I know she seen me even though it may have been dark, the road was well lit, I drive a white vehicle, I have bright headlights for low beams and the one that got me was She looked right at me. Well that is the end of that story.)

I think that's then end of that for right now.

[Lostariel Telrunya]

EDIT: I see that you are in Canada and so I do not know if the education system is as terrible there as it is here in the US, but my final suggestion on how to win her over will probably still help you. :)

Let me start with this: I am totally on your side that this woman is being the b-word, but I want to try and help you salvage this situation, so I am going to give you advice as a teacher who knows what teaching is like and knows how students get on teachers' good sides.

Teaching is a very, very difficult job. When you are in school it seems like it just happens like magic, but in fact it is a ton of work. I work 12 hour days during the school year. This teacher may have four different classes she's teaching, may have three kids to take care of, may be up to her eyeballs with work... While it does not constitute good organization, it is not unheard of for teachers to lose emails. I get about thirty to forty emails a day during the school year from students, administration, and parents.

Teachers are also required to teach certain things in certain ways due to national legislation and administrative requirements. It is often very frustrating for teachers that they have to teach this way, and often the kids hate on them for it when, really, they would LOVE to teach something else in another way. This makes for a very high stress job, and when so many students lie and cheat, it is very difficult to pick out the good from the bad--because the majority of our students are NOT good students and they usually cannot be trusted. So my first suggestion: DON'T take this personally. She is probably just jaded out of her mind from all the BAD kids she's had in class and no longer trusts ANYONE. She may be dealing with half a dozen kids cheating at this very moment, and you were just unlucky enough to contact her during this time.

Also, the teacher probably does not have complete control over allowing you to test in a different manner. Allowing a student extra time, a different testing setting, or an alternative assignment is something called an "accommodation." Accommodations must be granted by a board that consists of the student, the student's parents, the counselor, a special education teacher, and a diagnostician. Sometimes teachers can give accommodations to people who have not gone through this process, but often it is not allowed. Pearlie Mae suggested contacting your assistant principal, and if this is a big enough problem then I suggest you do that, at least once school starts. Once you are granted this accommodation, NO teacher can deny you that right.

Pearlie Mae also mentioned that teachers are not royalty, and that is more true than she knows. Teachers are at the bottom of the heap. Principals are TERRIFIED of upsetting parents and teachers take the flack for EVERYTHING. If a student fails because they did NO work, the teacher gets in trouble for it. If a student misbehaves, the teacher gets marked down for not having better control. If a parent wants a parent-teacher conference, the principal WILL take the word of the student over the teacher simply to please the parent. That means that while you may see this teacher as cruel and controlling, she is actually looking over her shoulder every moment. If she makes one wrong move and the administration doesn't like it, then her job could be on the line. In other words, you may feel like she is accusing you of lying, while in her mind she is just covering her ass--if she allows YOU a test accomodation and NOT another student, well, guess what? Another parent might get mad and her job might be on the line. Most likely she just wants to be 100% sure that you are telling the truth before she offers you any extra help that another student may no get.

Also, realize that as teachers we really ARE lied to ALL the time. You may have never cheated, but on every single assignment I give in a school year, somebody cheats. The bigger the assignment, the more students cheat. It is NOT right for teachers to accuse students who have a good record, but sometimes it happens because we are just that jaded.

Overall, just do your very best to imagine yourself in her place. Imagine that you have tons of classes to teach, students that flagrantly cheat and lie, principals breathing down your necks, legislative rules that strangle your ability to teach, and pissed off parents just waiting for you to make a wrong move. It in NO WAY makes it right for her to treat you this way, but it is a good reason not to take it personally.

I suggest you request a telephone conference with her and start out showing sympathy to her viewpoint. State that you understand that a lot of kids cheat, but that you are not that kind of student. Tell her that you love to learn, but tests are very difficult for you. Let her know that if there is nothing she can do to help you in this instance because of certain rules that you understand, but that you would really appreciate her help. (This kind of acknowledgement makes teachers bend rules!) It may make you want to scream to have to be nice to her when you are so angry, but this IS how you win teachers over to your side. We receive almost no sympathy or compassion. My students wrote "YOU'RE A SHITTY TEACHER AND A BITCH" on my personal bookcase this year, and every time I see it I ache, because I really was just doing my best to teach them when I had pretty much no power at all thanks to administration.

Once again, I really feel for you--it is a horrible situation and I am not defending your teacher. I am just giving you advice I think will really make the difference. A little compassion goes a long way to teachers.

Thank you so much! It does feel nice to have a teacher's perspective on this. Although I hadn't actually asked for an accommodation, I do understand the pressure she must be feeling. I'll send her another email. I just feel awful because I feel like I've been letting her down with my test marks, and my lack of opportunity to explain myself is a bit frustrating. I'll probably send her another email. I also know that she is on a tight schedule what with the past-paced course. Hopefully this will clear up a bit before my final on Wednesday. Thanks again! It is really good to have another teacher explain it. :)

[Lostariel Telrunya]

Oh my goodness, Ashley, I feel your pain with the portraits! I've had so many people come up to me at school being like "Hey, can I email you a picture of my girlfriend that I took on my phone, and then you can draw her portrait? I want to give it to her as a gift. Oh, and I need it by tomorrow afternoon" (literally a conversation I had with a guy I had only spoken to once prior to that). Another time one of the girls in my Social class asked me if I could draw her boyfriend, and then proceeded to describe him to me. No picture, I hadn't met the guy, but she wanted me to sketch him based off of rushed descriptions of his head. Yeah. It doesn't work that way.

[SeaGlass Siren]

Mother in law tried to steal my thunder and when going to meet guest and make rounds, told everyone that SHE was the one who paid for the wedding. Bitch please If she paid for the weddin I must be Paris Hilton.

My husband and I were the ones who paid off everything. And you know what else? She allowed party crashers to come into the wedding. 10 extra people with grown children btw wtf and she gave us no heads up whatsoever so dinner was delayed until 8 when it was supposed to start at 7. And what's worse my father was enabling her by saying "well let her pay for the extra seats then. Prob solved " no problem isn't solved yet. you are allowing this woman to control OUR wedding - we said we didn't want her to do. The ddeal was for us to give her the fucking tea ceremony and our venue remains untouched. What does she do? Fucks everything up.

PostBridalBitchFit.

[SeaGlass Siren]

OH YEAH. She wanted to do the money box even though we told her no (previous history: she stole my husbands money before, what's to say that it won't happen again?) so I was in the bridal suite with my mom and my sister in law counting envelops and signing docs and this bitch decided to charge in after we specifically told her to stay out. I had a bitch fit and yelled no and slammed the door in her face. Surprisingly sister in law was understanding (maybe. I think she was. She got beat a lot befor for no reason and almost sent the mother to a psychiatrist) and helped my out the envelops in the money box. Totally cannot stand this bitch.

[Mermaid Lily_Pad]

I am a tad bit peeved.

My neighbors across the street from us were really nice when we moved in. Our kids liked to play and I let their kids basically run free in our house as well. They have 6 kids. I like the mother and father, but the kids are out of control. The mother lets her youngest children basically run rampant and my eldest got hurt by one of them when they were over at our house for a party. I dismissed it, accidents happen after all.

We happened to get our daughters little motorized scooters and every time the kids go out to play the kids across the street (if they are home) pop out to "play" and pretty much just steal the scooters and take off across out development so no one takes it away from them (sharing is not in their vocabulary apparently). THe one time they stole them they disappeared for like...15 minutes. These scooters are $300.00 (we didn't pay that much...but still) And the parents, (who are standing outside talking) don't address the issue. When the kids finally do come back I told them they couldn't leave our culd-a-sac and the kid basically told me they left so they didn't have to give them to anyone else to play with...then proceeded to take off again with them. Their mom gave a pathetic attempt to get them back "Hey come back and Share...oh well"....

Now the kids come over to the house and knock on the door asking if my kids can play...which basically translates to "We don't actually want to play with you, we just want to steal your scooters again". When my kids say they don't want to play with the scooters the kids whine and then make excuses to go home.

Now the scooters are broken (need new batteries maybe) and the kids (my daughters and our new next door neighbor boy who has been playing with them non stop for a week now, and who is a nice kid), are playing inside. One little girl and a friend from across the street come over and want to play. My daughter invites them in but they don't want to come in...(Aka, open the garage door so we can steal your scooters). The little boy (who doesn't know any better) gets excited and runs outside, my daughters follow..I open the garage so they can get their bikes and the kids immediately go for the scooters. I tell them they are broke, and they go to run off when the little boy asks if they can play with water balloons. (we had played earlier). I told them.."okay" and went and filled up a bag and we played with them until I got tired of making them and told them to play something else. They decided to take matters into their owns hands and fill them....fine...If they want to fill them, go for it. LOL...I go inside to get out of the humidity for a few minutes and when I return back outside my girls are soaked to the bone and the boy is gone...there is a big white bucket on the driveway which I assume means someone was using it to dump water on the kids. The boy next door got upset by it and went home.

Fast forward. the kids go across the street to play and I go over to get them for dinner. The parents had given them cupcakes to eat, and the other kids had jumped in the pool in their cloths. My girls wanted to join them and I told them no that it was time for them to go home. That they had to eat dinner. The dad then says "Your mom is making you go home"....or something along those lines...like I am a bad guy for doing it. I was startled and a bit taken aback by his statement. His kids don't start eating dinner until 8pm, my kids are in bed by 9. I don't let them stay up all hours of the night because I want them to be sane the next day. His words really bothered me. The fact that NO ONE was watching the kids swim, and the elder kids were playing war with the big metal pool cleaning poles REALLY bothered me.

If you have 6 kids, and then invite your friends with 6 kids of their own over, you would think SOMEONE would supervise the darn kids! ARGH!

[Mermaid Melanie]

Arrrgh wonderful ! So Hitmer is still advertising here in Phuket ! little ads in newspapers and the like. Pahhh! and now freediving photography have spotlighted her and said she is based in PHUKET ? well looks like I am only getting a few months break from her. maybe she will be back and the fun can start again :/

[Meilyn]

lol aww

I don't want to come off jealous or like I think I'm better or like I think I am in competition with her or anything. Because I don't think about her until something comes in my newsfeed through someone else. It's just one of those "hurts" that has taken a very long time to let go of. I also get such a chip in my shoulder about justice and I hate the whole facade stuff ya know? But I mean, it bothers me just as much in other mers who do it- not just her. She's just the one I have personal background with. And I know she's got some "spies" here. There's about 3 members who love whenever I post something on mernetwork to sent it off to people lol


As I've been told:
If you truly are the best, you should be able to tell everyone your deepest, darkest secrets, help everyone else out, and still come out on top. You're not the best if you have to hinder others and/or bring others down when they're trying to stand up.

And with you writing a book helping others to start up in YOUR category of business makes you even greater than those who try to market other people's materials as their own.

I've had a similar experience with a handful of models giving me bad advice when I started, and some even refusing to help their own "besties", so THEIR friends came to me for help after I had landed in a big magazine. I helped them, and even helped them get into 2 published books now and the thanks I got? "Oh I've been passionate about modeling since I could remember. It came easy after my first shoot and everything just skyrocketed from there." Without ANY acknowledgement of my help, no thanks, or even a text afterwards. Instead, they had blown me off as I scheduled agency meet and greets with them a few years ago when this occurred as well. Any they blew off my photographers because it didn't pay enough or give enough exposure (non published work).

And then some models I've asked for help/advice with in the past totally decides to message me after I had done some skits with a guy who had millions of followers/viewers asking me if there's room for them on the YouTube channel of my friend from my agency who did the videos. The same ones who told me they were too busy to talk to me all of a sudden, had time to do random 6 hour take comedy skits...

And after working outside in the yard pulling, cutting, and remodeling the plants out back, I have a giant mosquito bites that's turned into a pimple on the back of my neck...

[MarkF]

I worry for the long term for your children. It seems you'd have to teach the neighbors kids morals, right and wrong or move.
Make your Husband help set a few rules, no more than 1 friend at a time with each of your kids. No sharing the scooter! Tell your kids in front of the neighbor kids.
With the neighbors children such little animals and the parents sounding like something from a movie "Trailer trash moves to the city" I'm afraid for your little girls as the group becomes preteens. It won't be scooters their after.
Seriously, as the Mommy it maybe time to consider moving if it's as bad as you say. Trust your intuition.

[Mermaid Lily_Pad]

Luckily we are renting and they are actually moving in two weeks. If for some reason we still have interactions I am laying down the law.

Today's rant, totally different. In November of 2012 I was talked into a full hysterectomy for stage 3 endometriosis. I was 34. My doc thought that it would be the best thing to do in order to relieve pain, and stop the endo from destroying any more organs. (They found out during the surgery my appendix was obliterated by it).

We moved to a new state with a new doc and he has scared me to pieces. He basically stated..."we are going to do whatever we can go try and lengthen your life span...." Apparently getting a full hyst shortens it. Higher risk of heart disease and now they are saying there is a higher risk of lung cancer even if you have never smoked! I feel like I made this huge mistake. I now gave other side effects from the hyst that is worse then the pain...(stupid rare complication, of course I get if). I just feel so defeated! I want to get in shape but then I start thinking "why bother". I am so depressed and angry. Even my dreams of one day getting a cloth mermaid tail seem so out of reach. I don't know what to do, I need a support group.

[Raayvhen]

My family doesn't want me to keep a surgery recovery blog. I say who cares.

[MarkF]

Your doctors speaking in generalities and not very well.
I've been alive long enough to have many friend with hysterectomies, many my senor. Time for another doctor.
It'll be your activity and diet, maybe some blood pressure pills, estrogen supplements and of course exercise.
There that factor created by joy and happiness that comes from enjoying life that keeps away health problems.
I think you need your tail more than you realize. I have no idea your finances or skill level, your in the heart of Mer country.
Buy new or used or make it, when you need help this is the place.
What would you like for a tail, really like?

[Mermaid Lily_Pad]

I would be happy with just a monofin LOL. We had to short sale our old house when my hubs got transferred. I can't get a job yet because I have to take care of the kids so currently I very little income coming in so I can't justify getting a tail.

I was a dramatic arts major and I would love to be in a situation where I can dress up and entertain.

[MarkF]

Sounds like you have a job to me, how old are your kids?

[coral_sybil]

Gotta frickin love people who don't even realize their being inconsiderate while they're trying to be considerate.

"HEY what do we want to eat? I'm hungry" -boyfriend
(me thinking: I thought we were in a hurry, that's why I spent less than 10 minutes each place I wanted to go to... even though then we spent two hours at your liquor store...)
Me: "Well I had been think Buffalo Wild Wings....."
Boyfriend: "That sounds Great! Hey Ben, do you know where the closest one is?"
me: "... well actually I was thinking we could..."
Ben: "Over there"
Boyfriend: "Awesome! You'll help pay right?" (looks at me expectingly...)
me:"...sure" feeling the eyes of Ben and Boyfriend and wondering wtf when they know I cannot say no in a situation like this without fulling having a break down

Me: ends up paying for myself, Ben, and part of Boyfriend's order.

Yep saving money.

Boyfriend: "Hey what's wrong?" I feel Ben staring at me
Me: "I want to go home and go to bed" (sidestep the question)

[Mermaid Lily_Pad]

7 and 4, and yes they are a full time job. LOL

[PearlieMae]

...Boyfriend: "Awesome! You'll help pay right?" (looks at me expectingly...)...

Me: Absolutely not.

[Nereid's Looking Glass]

Me: ends up paying for myself, Ben, and part of Boyfriend's order.

Yep saving money.

Boyfriend: "Hey what's wrong?" I feel Ben staring at me
Me: "I want to go home and go to bed" (sidestep the question)

THE MOOCHERS! I totally feel you on this. And then, when you can legitimately pay for something everyone and their half-brother's cousin's roommate from college one semester goes, "No, let me pay." As if they're being so generous for getting you a single item from the dollar menu or something. Or when they're like, "We'll split it" but then SPLIT THE BILL 50-50 WHEN THEY'VE CLEARLY ORDERED AND EATEN MORE. a;lda;dlkfjad;lkfjad;lkjafdkljfadifawernadvahoiqhe kjahdkjvahdoifasidufbefjkvhiauehr :headwall:

Does this happen in all y'all's neighborhood but kids who don't watch where they're going on busy streets? I cannot BELIEVE how many children I've had run out in front of my car--they're not even chasing anything, they just want to cross the street and don't look. Parents are right there by their side and I see about 80% of the time the parents do not grab their kids until I'm nearly right next to them, just creeping along of course.
This is what overalls were made for, people! It's a built-in kid-handle! USE THEM!
I don't know what it is about people in this area, but I see it happening with the adults too.

And people who don't bother to cover their mouth.


Nicole

[Meilyn]

I almost ran over a guy on a bicycle wondering where he came from the other day. If my dog hadn't perked up and warned me, the guy would have been under my tire.

Saw the same guy the other day... Going down a 40mph hill on his bicycle, in the car lanes, with his hands in the air, then using no hands. I couldn't help but WISH the guy would get hit by a car. You'd think the first time with me almost hitting him with 3 inches between us was bad, the guys at it again with not a care for traffic.

And Coral, personally, I think it's time for you to find a new boyfriend if that's what's going on. Maybe I'm just really spoiled by mine, but I don't think a guy should make you pay like that. Especially if he suggested it. I can understand every other time you switch off or something but to just blatantly leave you with the bill EVEN for his friend... It's a big no-go to me. Unless my boyfriend's broke, he doesn't let me pay when we go out. I buy groceries now and then, but he makes a lot more than I do so he's usually the one paying for most daily things. I just bought us both round trip tickets to California though. But that was my decision and not at all influenced by him.

[Mermaid Lily_Pad]

...Boyfriend: "Awesome! You'll help pay right?" (looks at me expectingly...)...


Take a deep breath.
Pick an option and repeat after me.

1. "I am sorry I don't have enough money for everyone?"
2. "Do I look like a bank?"
3. "Sorry Ben, your on your own."
4. "I can pay, if you two want to share your meal cause I only got money for us"
5. "Nope, but we can stop at an ATM so you two can get money"
6. "Here is two dollars, you two head on over to the dollar menu at Wendys, I am going to BWW. Hey you said you wanted me to pay, you didn't say what you wanted me to pay for!"

Darling, it is time you put your foot down an took a bit of control and learned that it's okay to say "No" and if people get pissed about it, then they don't deserve to be with you. You are not a walking bank, or a doormat. You are a person and you should be treated with respect. No need to get angry or upset, simply tell it how it is and move on.

[Lostariel Telrunya]

Yeah, I would just pull the whole "Oh, I forgot my wallet!" stunt and get them to pay for you!

I almost ran over a guy on a bicycle wondering where he came from the other day. If my dog hadn't perked up and warned me, the guy would have been under my tire.

Saw the same guy the other day... Going down a 40mph hill on his bicycle, in the car lanes, with his hands in the air, then using no hands. I couldn't help but WISH the guy would get hit by a car. You'd think the first time with me almost hitting him with 3 inches between us was bad, the guys at it again with not a care for traffic.

And Coral, personally, I think it's time for you to find a new boyfriend if that's what's going on. Maybe I'm just really spoiled by mine, but I don't think a guy should make you pay like that. Especially if he suggested it. I can understand every other time you switch off or something but to just blatantly leave you with the bill EVEN for his friend... It's a big no-go to me. Unless my boyfriend's broke, he doesn't let me pay when we go out. I buy groceries now and then, but he makes a lot more than I do so he's usually the one paying for most daily things. I just bought us both round trip tickets to California though. But that was my decision and not at all influenced by him.
I hear ya! I live in a cul-de-sac with about 20 kids all under the age of 7. The new 'game' this summer is 'How close will the car get before they make me move off of the street?'. It has gone so far, the kids are now waiting behind parked cars until a vehicle comes down the road, and then seeing if they can ride their bikes RIGHT in front of the vehicle. For a person who is trying to get my driver's licence, this NOT the best situation to be in...

[Meilyn]

If I were in your situation Lostariel, I would print up some stories, (gruesome if you can) pictures, write out what's the new game that should be stopped, and post them on the doors of the house's. Sometimes people NEED a wake up call, and usually unless it's the hard way, people will not learn.

Like, HERE, this is the reality your child's presented. Unless you talk to them about it, it will not stop. It's dangerous, and had severe consequences that can and WILL damage your lives if this happens enough to an accident happening.

When I was in the Army, we had pictures posted of stupidity and the consequences. People sticking c4's in their mouths and setting it off. You could barely tell it was a picture of a face unless you looked closely. Someone using machine gun round as a HAMMER then setting off it's primer and pictures of their hands bones. Fun stuff.

Better a picture than a trial on vehicular homicide :/ bumper to bumper car accidents are bad enough, I couldn't imagine the stress and anger of actually hitting someone because THEY decided to make stupid decisions. (Always the drivers fault right?)

[PearlieMae]

Re: Kids in the street

My favorite is when The MOM pushes the baby stroller into the intersection ahead of her and THEN looks to see if a car is coming! :gah:

[Lostariel Telrunya]

YES!!! That always happens! My mom and I once watched a lady walking down the street with her kid who was wearing one of those kid leash things. They were almost at the crosswalk, and the boy pointed at the crosswalk, and the mom just shook her head and pointed right across the street (not to the crosswalk, which probably not even 40 feet away). She said something to the boy, and smiled as he led her straight into the middle of the road right in front of our car. Both my mom and I didn't actually think they would cross then, so my mom SLAMMED on the brakes. My mom was going to then wait until the two of them crossed the road, but instead the mom let go of the child (who proceeded to walk straight into the other oncoming lane of traffic) and walked up to the driver's seat of our car (note that we are still indeed in the middle of the road, as this is a very busy street with no space to park on the sides) and yell at my mom for not stopping for her child. At this point, there was a loooong line of cars behind us, and we are still unable to move because the child had run across the street, almost got hit by ANOTHER car, then crossed the street again to get back to his mom, and stood directly right in from of our car while the mom was still cursing at us. I swear, I could fill a book and a half with stupid driver stories...

[Nicky-Katz]

In addition to all the kids'n'bikes'n'street stories I'd like to share mine. I actually have a lot of such stories, as I'm on my bike on a daily basis. But here's one:

I'm a fast biker. My normal speed is about 30 km/h. I wear a helmet, I have my bike lights in order and pointing the road (not the bikers coming in the opposite direction! Oops, other story). I also have a nasty and loud bell. Soo... one sunny-after-rain day I'm going to the university and as I come a slight slope from down the bridge, there is a mommy on her bike (with NO helmet!) and a like a three-year-old kid on his training bike. The bridge is divided in two zones: one is the pedestrian zone and the other is meant for biking. Note: no kids on training bikes are allowed in the bike zone! And no bikes on the pedestrian zone! Anyway, this mommy is happily riding on the pedestrian side of the bridge and chatting on her phone paying little attention to the child. Which is happily rolling to the bike zone and...

Rrrring! Squeeeee!

You know how it's like to fully hit wet breaks on the wet street? Do not try this at home. I was pretty lucky to have not hurt anybody. The mommy on the other hand puts her phone down and yells at the kid for not being careful enough.
Oh, I wish I had thrown her phone into the river and hit her a couple of times on her head. But I didn't. I just felt sorry for the innocent kid. And I did say she should have watched over the child and not chat...
But I was late and had to go...

By the way, the sound of squeeking brakes is far better then ringing a bell.

[Seatan]

Omg I feel like I am going to puke. I just took a test required for the job I just got. No pass, no job. I should have taken it ages ago and waited Til the last minute. I have NO idea how I did and if I fail I can't retake for 45 days. Seriously, I feel like barfing.

[Mermaid Lily_Pad]

I used to have to take a series of tests every year for my job...it sucked and was one of the main reasons I quit. It was expensive to take them and we had to pay to do it. Each test was 45.00 and you had to take a minimum of 3. Just sucked.

[Mermaid Lily_Pad]

My cousins wife is a health fanatic. Now I have Nothing against wanting to be healthy, that is wonderful....but....when nearly every post on FB is something along the lines of "I walked 8 miles today! What have you done to get healthy!" It just gets...obnoxious. For awhile she was into one of those shake things and would try and sell them on FB, I finally muted her for awhile. Well, we just moved to the area where they live and she came over to dinner with the kids and drank alcohol like a fish. My husband and I don't drink and he smirked a bit watching her chug it down. Afterward he said to me "for someone who is such a health nut she sure drinks a lot"...to true my friend, to true.

[SeaGlass Siren]

Flying home from
disneyland

:( I havent stopped crying. I want to live here foreeeverrrr!! ;-(

[AniaR]

People this is the bitch thread. Pretty much here and the drama thread are it. Lol. It was over til everyone chimed in :p

[AniaR]

Honestly people respond the exact way I did when people don't bother to use the search bar.

[shimmygoddess]

LOL .consider yourself lucky if you have none of that where you are..that is awesome...!!!! :) :) I have been in our bellydance community over 10 years and in the mermaid community for almost 3 years and trust me that there is way more. There are alot of awesome people here and that I have met over the years, but there are quite a few of narcissistic ones too or people that are just plain mean. I know they are everywhere and in every community, but what happens in this forum is one person takes something out of context and there is a war. Seriously, this is the only forum I am a part of that has a designated "Bitch it out" thread and " Soap Opera drama bubble " thread. I ignore most of it, as I HATE drama and try not to get involved, but there have been alot of 'heated debates' on this forum


Aw, I wouldn't say that's fair. While there is some drama, the mermaiding community is truly one of the less dramatic online communities. On other forums people are bickering and making passive aggressive comments and attacking people's posts daily while in the mermaiding community it is not the norm--most of the stuff that goes down in our community is kind and supportive, and most often when there is drama it comes from interactions with people who are new to the community and haven't really "felt it out" yet to understand what the different peroples' personalities are like. I have been a major part of many online fandoms and communities, and MerNetwork is the ONLY one I haven't given up due to the stress of how I was treated by others. I've left horse forums, writing forums, fanfic fandoms, snake forums, chicken forums, LARP and RP forums... the list goes on and on. Having the occassional spat between people is NORMAL human behavior. Bullying, trolling, and outright cruelty are virtually nonexistant in the mer community and that is why I love it--but you can't expect there to never EVER be any negative encounters when hundreds of people socialize with one another.

Translation: I LOVE ALL YOU GUYS!

[AniaR]

Somehow I missed a whole page of replies when I made mine sorry lol

[shimmygoddess]

I hate when people are new to the forum and think they know everything! grrrr....

[AniaR]

This so-called "drama" is on the last page of the Merbella thread
Yes. Me telling people I am canadian and not a Merbella is now drama and warrants a bitch. Lol

I am you know I ammmm I am Canadian!! ( its an epic song look it up)

Or if you'd rather the other POV we can go with blame Canada from south park ;)

[AniaR]

I hate when people are new to the forum and think they know everything! grrrr....
Not only new to the forum but new to mermaids in general lol. I've spotted that too ;)

[Seatan]

LOL .consider yourself lucky if you have none of that where you are..that is awesome...!!!! :) :) I have been in our bellydance community over 10 years and in the mermaid community for almost 3 years and trust me that there is way more. There are alot of awesome people here and that I have met over the years, but there are quite a few of narcissistic ones too or people that are just plain mean. I know they are everywhere and in every community, but what happens in this forum is one person takes something out of context and there is a war. Seriously, this is the only forum I am a part of that has a designated "Bitch it out" thread and " Soap Opera drama bubble " thread. I ignore most of it, as I HATE drama and try not to get involved, but there have been alot of 'heated debates' on this forum

I'm sorry, I didn't mean to offend you or anything. I just like to look on the positive, and give people the benefit of the doubt. I guess it's the teacher in me--can't hit the bratty little shits, so ya gotta grin and pat 'em on the head! ;)

[shimmygoddess]

Not only new to the forum but new to mermaids in general lol. I've spotted that too ;)

Yep, have first hand experience with that too...sigh :p

[shimmygoddess]

I'm sorry, I didn't mean to offend you or anything. I just like to look on the positive, and give people the benefit of the doubt. I guess it's the teacher in me--can't hit the bratty little shits, so ya gotta grin and pat 'em on the head! ;)

No worries, you did not offend me. It is nice to be positive :) I used to always be positive until stabbed in the back, now I am wiser! ;)

[AniaR]

I think the context to keep in mind here is the "oh sorry I didn't know good luck in your endeavors" was instantly followed by bashing in the bitch thread.

[Merman Arion]

I'm gay so by definition, I'm supposed to be bitching LOL. Nobody complained about me (at least, not yet) and when I understood that I was wrong, I always apologized. I'm not perfect, there were times when I bitched about Eric because his behavior used to piss me off a lot (and honestly, it still does, I'm not gonna deny that).
Point is that if you want to bitch about something or someone, at least, do it well for good reasons or when you know you're right. Otherwise, it's just pointless. Does all that make sense?


Envoyé de mon iPhone à l'aide de Tapatalk

[Fun123joker]

once a kid in my algebra class did this

I will kill anyone and everyone who reads #3 as "hash tag three"

[Mermaid Wesley]

Hey its the bitch thread and i realized i have a bitch that i never bitched about! yay!
SO like i was going to buy shell shock to begin with. the thing is, I am inexperienced with this stuff. I wasn't sure what the best thing to use was. The RAM representative made it sound like shell shock and the resin i got would work exactly the same way. I believed him and next thing I know im 60 buck out on some resin that doesn't even work and it pisses me off. I understand that it was an unexpected problem but sheesh why did i have to be the one to figure that out?? ugh. Now i have shell shock so lets hope everything goes smoothly from now on.... ooh also shell shock is awesome!! love that junk.

[Odette]

So sick of flaky photographers. I do a shoot and don't get my photos! I have done 4 and only got one photo from one (one photo? really?) and the second at least sent them in a timely manner. Love her, but ridiculous that I can't get photos from the other two. grrrr! both underwater.

[shimmygoddess]

So sick of flaky photographers. I do a shoot and don't get my photos! I have done 4 and only got one photo from one (one photo? really?) and the second at least sent them in a timely manner. Love her, but ridiculous that I can't get photos from the other two. grrrr! both underwater.

hmm....you signed a contract right? That specified what you would receive and when? If not, always make sure you do that in the future. Dont take peoples word for it. Hope you get some pics soon

[Mermaid Lily_Pad]

I work for a photographer and let me tell you, flaky...doesn't even come close. He is an "Artist" and absolutely terrible with the business side of things. I design wedding albums for him and some of the albums are from 10 years ago. Simply put, he just hasn't gotten to them yet. Seriously...The best advice I can give you is the old saying "the squeaky wheel gets the oil". If a bride starts to get very demanding, calling every day, etc...he runs to me and tries to get it finished ASAP. He doesn't want to have to deal with bitching brides. If you are quiet, he forgets about you. Your best bet, keep calling. If you paid for your photos, demand you get them. If he is dragging his feet on getting them printed ask for a CD of them, get a note granting permission for you to print them, and do it yourself. It sucks, but sometimes it's the best way.

[Blaze]

If that frikkin mermaid academy in the Philipines article gets posted on my page or emailed to me one more time I'm going to lose it.

(For those that haven't seen it: http://news.distractify.com/fun/bizarre/mermaid-academy/?v=1 )

Seriously, how hard is it to look on someone's wall and see if it's there already?

[Arella]

I had 3 people facebook that to me yesterday lol

[Blaze]

I had 3 people facebook that to me yesterday lol

I got tagged 5 times & emailed 7 on ONE account, then it got posted 3 times on my wall, tagged 6 and emailed 3 more on my other account. GAH.

[Merman Arion]

I got tagged 5 times & emailed 7 on ONE account, then it got posted 3 times on my wall, tagged 6 and emailed 3 more on my other account. GAH.

Another reason why I WILL NOT make a merman page. :doh:
If this means to go through this, I'd rather share my love for mermaiding through my personal FB account. Besides, Raina keeps saying that nowadays it's kind of pointless to run a Facebook page with the spams/fake likes bullshit and the 1-2% of posts-showing-to-the-fans bullshit so why bother??
Sooo yup... Not gonna happen with me. I'm fine sharing here.

[Vixy]

With the mermaid academy it's only once for me and that was on skype. I responded that I know people and apparently I'm part of the mermaid mafia now.

[Echidna]

Another reason why I WILL NOT make a merman page. :doh:
If this means to go through this, I'd rather share my love for mermaiding through my personal FB account. Besides, Raina keeps saying that nowadays it's kind of pointless to run a Facebook page with the spams/fake likes bullshit and the 1-2% of posts-showing-to-the-fans bullshit so why bother??
Sooo yup... Not gonna happen with me. I'm fine sharing here.

agreed.
It's not like a page that is artificially blocking fans to see what they subscribed for ("11 people reached, pay if you want the rest to see it LOL") is very useful in keeping customers and friends up to date.

Probably better to just tweet the news.
As long as twitterz don't pull the same trick, of course...:rolleyes:

[Seraphina Suds]

Same here with the mermaid school!! I'm running out of polite ways to say "yes, I've known about it for years, stop spamming me with it". >~<

[MarkF]

In Asia there are hackers who collect user names and passwords that they uncover. Generally they use the false ID's for voting on contests, user only gets one vote and to promote their candidate they use other peoples names to give an advantage. The School sounds like they are purchasing usernames from on of these hackers and spamming with it.

[Blaze]

Another reason why I WILL NOT make a merman page. :doh:
If this means to go through this, I'd rather share my love for mermaiding through my personal FB account. Besides, Raina keeps saying that nowadays it's kind of pointless to run a Facebook page with the spams/fake likes bullshit and the 1-2% of posts-showing-to-the-fans bullshit so why bother??
Sooo yup... Not gonna happen with me. I'm fine sharing here.

LOL it wasn't even on my mermaid page (which I've shut down for the moment) rather my burlesque (which is a personal account rather than a page & have to keep separate for advertising and privacy reasons) & personal (real name)accounts!

[AniaR]

I knnnnow. anyone else get annoyed too when they send you stuff that is years old??? lol and you know they mean well but you're like, I have known about that for a decade. LOL

[Merman Dan]

Another reason why I WILL NOT make a merman page.

Just do what I do... make a Merman Page but then never promote it ;)

[Fun123joker]

22968
here we go again
i feel ya

[AniaR]

Lmao

[PearlieMae]

Mine are all with the suggestion that I should start one.

Teaching is NOT my forté.

[Mermaid Saoirse]

First time using this thread, but this month hasn't exactly been fun for me despite being creative.
Warning, this is a long rant!
My mom started criticizing me in front of one of my best friends about how it's stupid that I plan on taking a break after I get my associates so I can get my life together to marry my boyfriend. She's been getting meaner to me as time runs on so I'm pretty sure she's mad that I'm getting closer to leaving the house. Luckily my dad's very supportive and is really proud of me, but he's not trying to stop my mom from being the completely rude butt that she seems to desire to be. If she becomes more toxic than this then she very well might never spend a lot of time with my kids in the future. I don't want her to influence them to become anxiety-ridden like I am due to how I grew up. I've barely been able to function right now without wanting to pull my hair out, snap at someone, or cry. I've only been able to find the will to craft things because focusing on the small details helps distract me.
I've been working at a computer repair store on commission, so I get paid as I do jobs. The problem is the stupid customers haven't come to pick up their stuff so I still don't have all of the money for my monofin yet! I'm halfway there and I'm still waiting on 70 more dollars to come in for me. This month we've barely gotten customers and the ones that do come in are rude and it takes weeks for them to pick up their computers once they're fixed! I'm also trying to save up to build a drafting table for my sister who majors in Architecture, which means buying one already made is hella expensive. We did however find a site that sells what she needs to put on the table so we'll be making the table and attaching the parallel straightedge ourselves.
My words can't even form properly right now, so I think I'll end my rant here while it's mildly coherent.

[deepblue]

I have a terrrible coping mechanism of retreating from everything when life gets really stressful. Mernetwork was always such a source of comfort, but when I feel like I'm emotionally vomiting all over a place, I want to rein that in. So I've taken a long break from a lot of places.

My health issues are mostly figured out, and though it's required life-altering changes, I have high hopes to stop feeling like crap all the time soon.

But I've just learned that my daughter, who just turned five, has to have surgery- kindergarten is around the corner, and she's so excited. But this surgery, for hip dysplasia, will mean 4-6 months recovery, and she will be in a cast that immobiles her from the waist down.

My child stands on her head to watch videos. She never stops bouncing off the walls. She's not going to be able to go to kindergarten. Somehow I have to move to a ground floor place, so that I can get her in and out in a wheelchair. I have to homeschool her- and I'm very low income, so I can't purchase a curriculum, nor can I pay for distance education memberships.

I'm so stressed and overwhelmed that I think I've looped around into numbness.

The bitch of it all.

[H-SAMA]

I hate when people White and BLACK look funny to my boyfriend and me because according to them we are not the same race.

[Lostariel Telrunya]

Okay, so first I have a comment that I wanted to make for a while now, then I'll go on my rant.

Can I just say how much this page helps? To me, it seems like every mer's personal psychiatrist, WHICH IS AWESOME. I just love how supportive everyone on this thread is of other peoples' issues. Quite frankly, joining Mernetwork was a bit weird for me. I wasn't sure if this was all for people who did this for a living, or, well, a bunch of preverts. Now is the point where I do apologize, because now that I have gotten to communicate with many of you, I can see that is definitely NOT the case at all. My first impressions were COMPLETELY off the mark, and I realize just how great of a community this really is. Mernetwork is a really special thing, to successfully get people from around the world to share their knowledge and experiences with each other. (Mostly) Everyone is respective of each other's opinions, and yet are not afraid to speak their opinion. And, with the highest respect and privacy for everyone, I almost think of everyone as friends. This website is so much more than just a place for people to talk about about one general topic. It stretches over so much more than that. Seeing this thread in particular just makes me smile all the time. NOT for the stories people write here, but because of the sheer amount of support and help others bring to comfort, give advice, and be a friend right when they may need one. Although I know none of you personally, talking to people on Mernetwork feels like going to someone's house that I have known for a long time. I get excited when a new member joins because I know they are joining a community where they will feel welcome and safe here. I feel safe here, and that is an amazing feeling that one can only get from a group like you guys. :)

[Lostariel Telrunya]

Okay, now that I've gotten that out of the way, time for a list of pet peeves and other mini rants:

-people who slurp really loudly when they are drinking something
-people (not pointing anyone out, *cough-brother-chough*) who, no matter how bad their cold is, refuse to get a tissue
-when someone says they're fat JUST to get attention
-when you ask someone a simple question, and they wait five minutes before answering you with a one-word answer
-when someone is criticized for not wearing makeup/shaving their legs/not styling their hair/dressing 'too modestly'
-when someone eats all the stinking marshmallows in the Lucky Charms (we only get them, like, once every three years, so LET ME HAVE MY SUGAR)
-people who get mad because I 'don't have enough selfies on my phone' (that's right, I get that way too often)
-people who decide to sacrifice all sense and grammatical correctness JUST to leave out a few letters in a word
-when people call something/someone 'bae' (which, by the way, means 'poop' in Turkish)
-when someone yells at me for doing something wrong while I'm driving, and then gets mad at me for getting scared while driving (I'm talking to you, grandma)
-when someone is texting while talking to me
-when someone is texting while watching a movie with me
-when someone is texting while eating with me
-when someone is texting pretty much anytime they are not communicating with their parent, or if it is an emergency
-girls who wear shorts that freaking SHORTER THAN THEIR UNDERWEAR. LIKE SERIOUSLY, WHAT'S THE POINT???
-when people smear toothpaste on the side of the tube (I know, it's not a HUGE deal, but I bugs me)
-when people are asking their friend/partner questions/other snooty remarks in the movie theatre (e.i. "Who is that girl?", "Is he important?", "Bae, he just died!", "Dragons aren't real", "My 3D glasses keep falling off my head, can I use yours?") <---- ALL of which I have previously heard while in a movie theatre, if not multiple times


Last little thing, not really a pet peeve, but just a comment. My grandma just now asked me to show her the crocheted skirt I've been working on, and proceeded to comment with "You know, you're never going to get a boyfriend if you don't start wearing shorter skirts!". She's 72. She's Dutch. That's my grandma for you.

P.S.

Please do not take any of this personally. I do not mean to upset or otherwise disgruntle anyone on this thread, just need to vent.

[AmbrGlows]

Mother just got fired today for a totally bogus reason but this is Texas so they really don't have to have a reason to fire you. Anyways, the worse part about this is that she's thinking about moving to the south...she would be 8+ hours away from me...she's never been further than an hour and a half away. This is really going to suck if she moves. My mother is the only friend I have left in the area that I hang out with. This means I have to find new people to hang with on the weekends.

[spottedcatfish]

Another reason why I WILL NOT make a merman page. :doh:
If this means to go through this, I'd rather share my love for mermaiding through my personal FB account. Besides, Raina keeps saying that nowadays it's kind of pointless to run a Facebook page with the spams/fake likes bullshit and the 1-2% of posts-showing-to-the-fans bullshit so why bother??
Sooo yup... Not gonna happen with me. I'm fine sharing here.

Yeah my page is practically non-existent!

[MarkF]

MermaidAmbrGlow, help her find a job in your area through your local acquaintances. Your probably a lot more connected than you realize. You are your best chance of keeping her local. She's gunna need help to keep motivated.
Besides you've got Mermaid powers. :thinks:

[Seatan]

Unfortunately, MarkF, jobs in Texas are virtually nonexistent right now. I am really sorry about your mom, Ambr. Does she have a college degree by any chance? She can substitute teach for between $80 to $120 a day. Schools are desperate for subs these days. A crappy job but it pays okay.

[AmbrGlows]

MarkF, Seavanna is right...jobs aren't so easy to find. Even for my mother who has an Associates & a Bachelors degree. The friend that's offered her a place to stay rent and utilities paid. He's even got her a job making $17.50/hr. I'm just being selfish. Since the age of 13 I've not lived more than an hour and a half away.

[Seatan]

I know that feeling. I literally live down the street from my folks. We are soooo close. My parents are my bffs.

[SINicallyTwisted]

I'm so angry right now I could just punch a bitch in the throat, or in this case several!

WHY? Why does there always have to be useless drama within groups! We do things for charity, to make a difference and make people have hope and smile BUT some members don't think that and only see our group as a free ride to go to events for free and then take off to go shopping and what not! Not helping or anything! Then when people call them out on it, what happens....They turn into immature, whiny, childish, brat, manipulative bullies! Grrrrrrr.... I say boot their asses out and get back to what matters!

It makes me so sad and angry seeing others hurt and in tears from these people's behavior.

[Raayvhen]

Do I need to go fin slap some people? Seriously though, sending massive hugs your way.

[SINicallyTwisted]

Do I need to go fin slap some people? Seriously though, sending massive hugs your way.

Thanks! I'll keep that in mind!

It seriously breaks my heart seeing people I care about get attacked via PM's and end up in tears and crying and just so upset. I was so pissed off that I called out the 3 troublemakers, daring them to step forward and take responsibility for their actions.

Neither one of them have said a word, which angers me even more. :anger explode:

[Naufra]

Let me know if you need any hands broken, SIN.

[coral_sybil]

I love my friend I really do. But I swear if she calls Pedestrians lazy stupid asses for trying to cross the street when they're not at crosswalks I will drive to her house and slap her.

I get it, it's illegal and makes you nervous if they're bad at crossing like that (not really doing the risk calculations of when to go and stop, or when to full on sprint across as to not impede traffic), but it doesn't matter. People get hit, more often, in a crosswalk than not because the pedestrian thinks they're safe. I've been hit three times while in the crosswalk as a pedestrian. A coworker on mine just spent TWO MONTHS in a coma because a guy whipped around a car that was stopped for her and smacked her in the other lane in the crosswalk. She's been out for a month and she is still in therapy. There is still things wrong with her, she may not be able to go back to school because of the damage that's been done.

I'm sorry my coworker (a 19 year old) wasn't smart enough to realize that person wasn't going to be patient and pay attention to why the car in front of him stopped. I'm sorry this 19 year old girl who's here on a visa to go to school and work was not paying enough attention to realize just because one car stopped and there was no other car in the other lane yet that it wasn't safe to cross yet despite being at a crosswalk. It's almost like a person is standing on the side of the road waiting till there is no cars to cross and they have to run across cause drivers aren't paying attention.. oh wait that's what people have to do when they're J-walking isn't it? Huh... to think the people who are being lazy stupid asses are doing the things that are expected from the people in the actual crosswalks.

No no my friend it TOTALLY right, it's that girls fault for not paying attention to the cars and for trying to cross the street.

Like it's totally MY fault I cannot exercise properly and that mermaiding is really my only hope of getting fit since I've been hit three times as a pedestrian in a crosswalk. No... we all must be totally idiots and must be totally lazy not to get in our cars and drive to places.

COURSE RIGHT I'M MAD AND GOING TO DEBATE IT.

"oh it's just a pet peeve, there's no need to get into a debate about it"

Oh yeah... it's just a statement calling people who J-walk lazy stupid asses who want to get run over. Yeah... Nothing upsetting to other people there.

[coral_sybil]

I'm literally shaking I'm so mad

[Fun123joker]

so i really like this mmo called drakensang. its until now that it starts having problems i uninstalled it but my computer wouldnt let me install it again. i finally got it to install and apperntly its until now that my computer thinks its dangerous. im pretty sure its not because its popular so my computer is blocking the game from loading! ugh. thing is i get really scared if i think my computer is under risk. i have a phobia with viruses. scince i crashed my home computer about 4 years about i got really scared. my mom bought me my own laptop and it was expensive so it could last. so stopping my security might not be an option but i really like playing the game.

[shimmygoddess]

Some people are just assholes!! GOOD JOB for standing up to the bullies!!! It can be hard though b/c most people won't stand up and fight, so that when one person does, they get labeled the wrong one. All you can do is be honest, speak your truth, and dont take shit from anyone. Hang in there!!

**Also, they are cowards and not used to people standing up to them. I have dealt with people like that. Really watch your back!


Thanks! I'll keep that in mind!

It seriously breaks my heart seeing people I care about get attacked via PM's and end up in tears and crying and just so upset. I was so pissed off that I called out the 3 troublemakers, daring them to step forward and take responsibility for their actions.

Neither one of them have said a word, which angers me even more. :anger explode: