What do I do? Family won't talk to me anymore...

[Blondie]

Ever since I started getting denied by every college I applied to (Which was 9. I know, a lot, but I was so desperate) my family has just gotten more and more distant from me. I told my mom that I was just going to go to community college and get my Associate's then transfer somewhere else. She hasn't spoken to me in days.

No matter what I say that it'll save money, or I'll be closer, or I'm taking the same classes anyways no matter where I go, she doesn't care. My little sister went off on a tangent on how I'm a dumbf*** because I can't get into a university. It's seriously demoralizing...

What do I do? My whole family think's I'm dumb as shit because I can't get into a university. The only reason I can't get in is because I can't do good the SAT or ACT. I've taken classes, done the books, everything. I'm just an awful test taker.

I've tried SO hard for everything in high school too. I don't do anything half ass'd. What do I do? I don't even want my family to come to my graduation because they're so disappointed in me...

[Maple]

I'm sorry that I don't have any great advice for you. However, I will tell you this: getting into university has nothing to do with 'how smart' you are. University tests don't measure critical thinking skills, just what you could memorize.

You are not dumb as shit and do not let anyone tell you otherwise.

[Spindrift]

College apps are tough. People need to start realizing that not everyone should go to college. Vocational schools and apprenticeships should be just as valid options, and would help usher in a whole new generation of skill sets and ideas to better any community.

What are you interesting in studying? Did you take any AP classes or IB stuff? Did you get denied from all 9, or have you not heard from all of them yet? I used to be an SAT tutor, if you plan on retaking it... I think I got the highest score possible on the essay portion and I'm pretty sure I was getting 700s in all the sections. What I've usually noticed is that people who do poorly on the SAT may do better in the ACT because it's more focused on practical subjects like science. But I suppose my advice on that subject would only really be useful if you plan on taking a gap year to reapply.

In response to your immediate problem, it sounds like they just need time to get used to the idea. It's sort of like having a small child tell you they want that huge lollipop and you telling him/her that they can only have the small one. In the end you get fed up and tell the child they can't have any candy anymore and the child then realizes they should have taken the smaller lollipop. At least you have a plan.

I think if you showed initiative over the summer it would help them get more used to the fact that you are responsible/not helpless. You could probably do that by getting either a volunteering position or an internship over the summer and just getting something on your resume for the field of study you are interested in, even if you're not getting paid for it. Trust me, those little projects give back really big once you are further down the road.

[Ayla of Duluth]

Live your life the way that makes you happy. Do your absolute best and no one will be able to tell you you're wrong. Make the decision that you feel is right, and don't let yourself feel bullied by your family. I mean c'mon. It's your mother. She can't be mad at you forever. As long as you're happy and successful, she has no say in where you go in life. She'll just be happy that you're happy. :) my family was the exact same way when I hit them with a double whammy; not going to college for a few more years, not getting a drivers license. I got the cold shoulder for a month. But soon they realized it wasn't the end of the world and they came around. I'm sure your family will too. Just hold your head up in front of their criticisms and show them how strong and independent of a daughter they raised.

[Blondie]

College apps are tough. People need to start realizing that not everyone should go to college. Vocational schools and apprenticeships should be just as valid options, and would help usher in a whole new generation of skill sets and ideas to better any community.

What are you interesting in studying? Did you take any AP classes or IB stuff? Did you get denied from all 9, or have you not heard from all of them yet? I used to be an SAT tutor, if you plan on retaking it... I think I got the highest score possible on the essay portion and I'm pretty sure I was getting 700s in all the sections. What I've usually noticed is that people who do poorly on the SAT may do better in the ACT because it's more focused on practical subjects like science. But I suppose my advice on that subject would only really be useful if you plan on taking a gap year to reapply.

In response to your immediate problem, it sounds like they just need time to get used to the idea. It's sort of like having a small child tell you they want that huge lollipop and you telling him/her that they can only have the small one. In the end you get fed up and tell the child they can't have any candy anymore and the child then realizes they should have taken the smaller lollipop. At least you have a plan.

I think if you showed initiative over the summer it would help them get more used to the fact that you are responsible/not helpless. You could probably do that by getting either a volunteering position or an internship over the summer and just getting something on your resume for the field of study you are interested in, even if you're not getting paid for it. Trust me, those little projects give back really big once you are further down the road.

I was denied to all of them :\ I got into University of West Florida but it's pretty much a community college with university tuition.. So it's pretty pointless to got there unless you really like the school or something. I've taken three AP classes this year. I thought the ACT would be easier with the science but I got a 19 on it still :\ which is still pretty awful. Most schools in Florida require AT LEAST a 26 on it. I just I don't know... When I take tests like that I always end up picking the wrongest of wrong answers. Like I just sit there and am like "Well...All five of them look pretty right..."

I'm trying to get into Communications, I've done a communications career academy for three years in high school which "guarantees" you have job experience to go into a field out of high school. But, most places here require you to be on track for a bachelor's in order to get an internship. And I'm only getting an Associate's in community college. So I'm not in the requirements :\

[Spindrift]

OK so maybe not an official internship. Communications as in things like broadcast journalism and the like? Maybe you could do work for a local radio or tv station, and see if you could show them you can do the work? I'm really only pushing this route because I think that if your family sees that you're doing something/working hard/going for it anyway, they will probably get over it quicker. I had a friend that went to a radio school, that may could become an option if it's something you're interested in.

[Coradion]

Apply to a school outside of the U.S. I applied to a ton of schools my senior year, did IB, AP, Spanish Immersion, took ACT's and SAT's and the summer after high school I decided to move to China and apply to a university there. It was the best thing I could've done, foreign programs don't usually look at your standardized testing. Go out and do something crazy, I ended up in a language program (I spoke no Chinese when I got to China) I worked in a random bars and clubs, was a gogo dancer, did a number on my liver, all sorts of craziness. After a year in China I reapplied to schools and got into everything, most of them I don't think I would have been able to get into had a night shown I went to a foreign school. It pumps up your resume and you figure out what it is you want to do with your life.

[Blondie]

OK so maybe not an official internship. Communications as in things like broadcast journalism and the like? Maybe you could do work for a local radio or tv station, and see if you could show them you can do the work? I'm really only pushing this route because I think that if your family sees that you're doing something/working hard/going for it anyway, they will probably get over it quicker. I had a friend that went to a radio school, that may could become an option if it's something you're interested in.
I'm going toward the television route. So, I can try for radio, but I don't know if that is down the path I want to go? I know our news stations offer internships but like I said, they require you to be pursuing a degree first :\ I talked to my boss about working the tourism channel for our town but he never got back to me on it.

Apply to a school outside of the U.S. I applied to a ton of schools my senior year, did IB, AP, Spanish Immersion, took ACT's and SAT's and the summer after high school I decided to move to China and apply to a university there. It was the best thing I could've done, foreign programs don't usually look at your standardized testing. Go out and do something crazy, I ended up in a language program (I spoke no Chinese when I got to China) I worked in a random bars and clubs, was a gogo dancer, did a number on my liver, all sorts of craziness. After a year in China I reapplied to schools and got into everything, most of them I don't think I would have been able to get into had a night shown I went to a foreign school. It pumps up your resume and you figure out what it is you want to do with your life.

I would LOVE to go abroad and go in another country to study. I've studied French for four years now and I'd love to study in France. But, I just have to help my family out so much with money, driving my little sisters around, my job, and chores that I can't leave :\ My family wouldn't be able to keep up.

[michellerobison]

Sounds like your family needs you and are discouraging you from leaving, and dragging you down in the process..... My parents did that to me when we moved to Florida,they wouldn't talk to me and took me out of their will. I graduated college with honours and started on my Masters, then realized I wasn't going to get any farther ahead money wise, so after our unit closed,I just concentrated on my art... after working in geri-psych for 8 years. My family thought it was a waste but I'm happy,so that's what counts.

My family didn't help me or pay for my education so why should I jump when they say jump?

Start out in a community college and get the core or grunt classes out of the way,then transfer,just make sure the classes will transfer by planning ahead.

Live your life for you,help the family when they need it but you have to come first. I was a terrible test taker in high school,but did well in college.

I moved back from Florida,lost my ass on the house,all to take care of them, they treat me like sh*t, they're no better off financially, they didn't appreciate it,now we're stuck in Ohio .... Sounds like your family is like mine....Don't make that mistake.

It's not selfish to live your life,not sure of the cause of your family situation but my family's situation was their own doing, bad choices. Yes I care but they don't and would drag me down if I let them.

It's not easy but you can't live for them,you can't do it for them or they'll never make it on their own.

[Sephina]

Your family is probably just 'sour grapes' right now due to the fact that you aren't fitting into the mold that they had imagined for you. Don't let them get to you because that can put you straight down depression road and that isn't healthy for anyone. Give them time and they will come around. If anyone gives you guff about it come up with my counselor called a mantra line. One simple statement you can repeat over and over to them until they stop. Something like "Mom/dad/sister (whatever you usually call them) look, I am doing what I want, there is nothing wrong with it, I have a plan." Then just leave it at that and walk away.

My grandmother did the same thing a few years ago when I dropped out of community college. Her and my aunt had railroaded me into going into this course to keep them happy that I had NO interest in. I left after the first semester, got my second half of tuition back (put it all back down on my student loan), and when I told her I had left she and my aunt flipped like you wouldn't beleive. They wouldn't talk to me for weeks and kept telling me that I was going to wind up in an apartment full of roaches asking people if they want fries with that. So I just repeated my mantra to them and walked away. Not long after I got a good job (in fact at this point after a couple promotions I'm making more then my aunt) All without ever having set foot into college. You just have to remind yourself it doesn't matter where you go, as long as you get the education you want (or don't want). And my grandmother couldn't be more pleased with where I am now. It just takes awhile to show them that you are ok and can do well wherever you are.

One thing that might help is that university/college radio shows are always looking for people to do a show for them. My friend has absolutely NO experience at all and she does a weekly radio show for a local college about Japanese music. See if any of the radios are looking for someone to do a weekly show, pick something you like and do it. It will show that you have a strong interest in broadcasting and the bigger radio stations will look at you differently.

Besides I find some colleges can be BS in my opinion. I looked into going to a local one for costume design and I wouldn't have been able to touch a sewing machine for 2 years, because they require you to go through acting classes first. It made no sense to me at all.While you could take sewing and pattern making classes at the local community college for $500 through night courses. Community college pretty much cuts through all the BS that universities put you through, and goes straight to the meat of the program. It really is better, and has a horrible reputation.

[Blondie]

-----
That really does sound like my situation. I want to leave and just do my own thing, but they keep giving me the cold shoulder that I'm abandoning them and they won't have enough support to go on. Which is sad because I have two younger sisters close to my age that do nothing. One JUST got her licences and she was over due for that and the other one can't take her permit test seriously so she won't get it. Neither of them have a job. But yet, my mom will complain to me in the winter how I'm not making money (I'm a lifeguard and I have an off season) She made me apply to seven other jobs because she was guilt tripping me every single day about not making money. I mean, I'm 18 and I'm not even graduated yet. I really don't know anyone else at my school who has to deal with this stuff :\
Everyone else at my school has supportive parents and don't have jobs. They get money when they need it and don't have to worry about paying for college. Which I know there are other people like me and you who have to work for everything in life. I guess you can say I'm jealous of them...


But I do love my family and I would do anything for them. I'm such a push over too... What do I do?



-----

And I've tried explaining that to them! It's just the same classes except I'm paying less for them and I'm not in a big school. I'll be doing the SAME EXACT thing no matter where I go. And it doesn't make sense since my mother is such a penny pitcher anyway and would normally be for me going somewhere cheaper. And it's not like she went to a big university. She went to a small private nursing school.
Can you do college radio shows without actually going to that college though?

[AniaR]

oh darling Im sorry you're going through this. This time in a young adults life can be tricky, you're trying to assert yourself as an individual, as an adult, and make adult decisions, but your folks still see you as their child they're responsible for. It can be so hard, heck, im 26 and every once in a while I still butt heads with my folks!

You can only do what you can do- and you need to do what you do because YOU want to do it. If you've tried and tried and aren't getting in anywhere- the universe may have something else in store for you. Taking a year off to work and save money really helps, and universities/collages are quick to snap up people who do that and see a lot of value in it.

You also (and I know how hard it is to do) need to tell yourself, you can't change your parents. They are who they are, they're going to be dumb when they're dumb. This is your opportunity to stretch out and grow and be separate of them.

I got denied for my second degree originally, so I took a year off in between and worked in my field. It was great life experience, I also got to pay down some debt, and then the next September I got into my program and the people in it have changed me forever. I'd be so sad to have missed them!!!

You can only do your best :) and if anyone else has any bad feelings about it, that's THEIR problem, not yours. <3

[AniaR]

Also, as someone who grew up with a poor family life, I want you to know you can MAKE your own family. Sometimes it can take a while to get yourself surrounded by the right people who care about you- but that's what I have. I dont have any contact with my mom, and while I love my dad and stepmom they don't meet my needs and make me feel bad too. So I surround myself with a network of people who I consider a family- and never looked back! <3

[Coradion]

Nothing wrong with helping your family, but you might come to a point where you can't be who you want to be by staying with them. It doesn't hurt to apply to schools outside of the state or farther away from home. Maybe if it's even just to know that you have the option of going somewhere else. It's your life, your choices. You may find you want to stay near home and keep helping them or if things get unbearable you might want to tell them you love them but that you need to leave to go do your own thing.

[Sephina]

That really does sound like my situation. I want to leave and just do my own thing, but they keep giving me the cold shoulder that I'm abandoning them and they won't have enough support to go on. Which is sad because I have two younger sisters close to my age that do nothing. One JUST got her licences and she was over due for that and the other one can't take her permit test seriously so she won't get it. Neither of them have a job. But yet, my mom will complain to me in the winter how I'm not making money (I'm a lifeguard and I have an off season) She made me apply to seven other jobs because she was guilt tripping me every single day about not making money. I mean, I'm 18 and I'm not even graduated yet. I really don't know anyone else at my school who has to deal with this stuff :\
Everyone else at my school has supportive parents and don't have jobs. They get money when they need it and don't have to worry about paying for college. Which I know there are other people like me and you who have to work for everything in life. I guess you can say I'm jealous of them...


But I do love my family and I would do anything for them. I'm such a push over too... What do I do?




And I've tried explaining that to them! It's just the same classes except I'm paying less for them and I'm not in a big school. I'll be doing the SAME EXACT thing no matter where I go. And it doesn't make sense since my mother is such a penny pitcher anyway and would normally be for me going somewhere cheaper. And it's not like she went to a big university. She went to a small private nursing school.
Can you do college radio shows without actually going to that college though?
My friend doesn't go to college (and has never attended there) and she is able to do a show there So I don't see why not. I think that your mom and sister just need some adjusting time.

[Kanti]

Why is your family treating you badly if you serve a lot of purposes besides school? If they are somewhat
dependant on you in the sense that they need you for those chores they should be appreciative of that.
I think sometimes parents just expect a lot, or rather, the standard. I think the "standard" of today is to
go to college. Honestly, though, you can get into a great job if you have connections. My sister hasn't gotten
a degree yet and she just landed a job thats paying her $25 per hour that one of her associates hooked her
up with. A friend of mine JUST STARTED college and he got at interview with BETHESDA!! Incase you don't
know, Bethesda is the company that made Fallout and the Elder Scrolls series. Life is more about networking
and standing out than it really is about college. Still, at a highschool level, you probably haven't met that
many important people that you can start. College is a great place, don't take this as me trying to talk you
out of it lol

I think the trick to getting into college is to stand out from other people. It's great if you have a 3.5 and had
a great SAT score, but if you've done lots of things with your life and showed that you have initiative, you'll
probably get in on that. I was also really lame when it came to the SAT. I got average scores, probably just
enough to make it obvious I could read xD
I had a good GPA and I got a bunch of recommendation letters from teachers and club administrators who
thought I excelled in certain areas and could write good things on my behalf. Use other means to highlight
your good areas so your weaknesses don't stand out as much.
Also try to list every damn extracurricular activity you've ever done on there. They eat that stuff up.

As for your family, don't feel that bad. My mom doesn't even have a job anymore and she harps on me about
how "dependant" I am even though I actually MAKE money. Sometimes parents are just condescending. It
sort of sounds like your mom is depressed or stressed out and she has no one else to take it out on so she's
using you as a punching bag.
Maybe you should sit down and talk to her about it. Tell her you're trying your hardest already and you think
you have a lot of responsibility on your shoulders. Tell her its unfair that shes pinning things down on you when
you at least HAVE a job in comparison to your sisters.

[Blondie]

@Raina
I can't take a year off :\ I'm that kinda person who just isn't into school. I'm afraid that if I get a taste of freedom and a school-less life, I'll never go back into it. And I've talked to some of my friends about taking a year off and they said I would be one of those people. I just get a taste of freedom and I won't ever let it go.

@Kanti

Yeah! She is using me like a punching bag. I've told her this before but she blows it off like she "doesn't mean it". But like, I can tell she does because she always complains to me about it nonstop! I have had some letters of recommendation written about me and I've done a TON of extracurricular activities to put down. I'm also a national title holder in Communications. It's just my terrible test scores that hold me back from everything :\

[MermaidRaegan]

A lot of people think community college is for people who are stupid but that's just not the case. The fact is that they're cheaper, they help you get your core classes out of the way, and transfering after a year of college is WAY easier than getting into a university right outside of college. I'm not the brightest glowfish in the pod, but I still managed to get into a Uni. because I have lots of good credits to transfer: my test scores were so-so and I only had a couple extra curricular activities, but transfering got me into an okay school. Stuff with your family may seem like it sucks now, but eventually they'll have to see that a year of community college isn't all that bad. Especially when they realize how much nicer it is on their wallets.

Also, Raina is right about making your own family. The only reason I pull through sometimes is because I have friends who are willing to either hug me or knock sense into me when things seem overwhelming. :)

[Gem Stone]

I have no help for you that hasn't already been said. I'm sorry that you're going through this. -hug-

[Lotus]

I'm going toward the television route. So, I can try for radio, but I don't know if that is down the path I want to go? I know our news stations offer internships but like I said, they require you to be pursuing a degree first :\ I talked to my boss about working the tourism channel for our town but he never got back to me on it.
[/COLOR]

I would LOVE to go abroad and go in another country to study. I've studied French for four years now and I'd love to study in France. But, I just have to help my family out so much with money, driving my little sisters around, my job, and chores that I can't leave :\ My family wouldn't be able to keep up.
Now hold on a minute. Your family depends on you financially and to do stuff for them and they're giving you shit for not getting into a university? WTF kind of shit is that??? Is the real issue here that they're worried if you don't have a "proper" degree you won't be there to pay for them anymore?
and here's another thing- I agree with Spindrift that vocational schools can and should be just as valid for some- I'm an EMT and a CNA. I'm no dumb-ass, in fact I pride myself on being at least somewhat intelligent... but college would have been a disaster for me.
Ask yourself whats most important- having a life that you are happy with or a life that you live to please others. best of luck

[LittleTreasure]

I am so sorry iBlondie. I know we dont know each other but I would so want to hug you right now! This story just blows me away...I can't believe you're being treated like this just because you haven't gotten into an expensive school! Are they nuts?!

It's very insulting that some people think that community colleges are for stupid people. I attend one, and I'm majoring in art here. This school has one of the BEST art programs in the state and probably the ONLY good dance program in the state. I came to UALR to take my core classes before transferring, and I may or may not still do that...but that's ok because even if I didn't I'd still get a degree and I have a pretty good ACT score and went to a well-recognized high school beforehand. My mother told me she first went to Hendrix which people think is awesome but guess what...at least in her classes (biology, micro, etc) the teachers spoonfed the students. Then when she transferred to UALR her science classes kicked her butt because they don't mess around here just because a student has money. (This is just one case though, not a generalization of expensive colleges...I still want to attend one...)

I took an ACT class so that I'd know HOW to take the test well. It's not just knowing the material (And on top of that it is largely memorized), it's knowing HOW to take the test, as well as curbing test anxiety. Taking that course helped me raise my score by 2 points. I either got a 26 or a 27 ... So its not amazing but for me that's pretty good considering my grades weren't great in high school or elementary school, except for certain classes...and now that I'm in college my GPA is higher than ever before because I work harder here. Something has clicked with me.

What I'd suggest is apply to a good community college (some are not the best mind you) and get a degree. Then see if you can get into graduate school, at a more well-known university. I may do that myself. Even though UALR is a uni, people still think it's a last resort or 'stupid' college and that's just not true. Why does expense have to mean quality?

[Kanti]

@Kanti

Yeah! She is using me like a punching bag. I've told her this before but she blows it off like she "doesn't mean it". But like, I can tell she does because she always complains to me about it nonstop! I have had some letters of recommendation written about me and I've done a TON of extracurricular activities to put down. I'm also a national title holder in Communications. It's just my terrible test scores that hold me back from everything :\

That seems pretty messed up. Tell her to knock it off if she "doesn't mean it". Then it should be easy for her to not mention it.
And with all those other things I don't see how you're not getting in. Do they tell you specifically that it's your test scores?
It doesn't sound like test scores would outweigh all that other stuff.

[Mermaid Rillia]

I might be a bit biased, But why not do something for yourself. Move over to the west coast. (That way youre still in florida if your family needs you). Apply to SPC (Saint Pete College) Very well known and affordable school That just made itself a University level school. Find some classes you would be interested in and try it out. If you dont like it then maybe college isn't for you. Either way what I'm saying is remove yourself from the negativity of your family. You're not going to be able to change them. And the negativity is only going to bring you down. Go your own way, and experience life your way. No mold to fit into, no guidelines. It might just be the best thing thats ever happened to you. And you wont be in a negative environment so theres more "Happy Time". :)

[Blondie]

I am so sorry iBlondie. I know we dont know each other but I would so want to hug you right now! This story just blows me away...I can't believe you're being treated like this just because you haven't gotten into an expensive school! Are they nuts?!

It's very insulting that some people think that community colleges are for stupid people. I attend one, and I'm majoring in art here. This school has one of the BEST art programs in the state and probably the ONLY good dance program in the state. I came to UALR to take my core classes before transferring, and I may or may not still do that...but that's ok because even if I didn't I'd still get a degree and I have a pretty good ACT score and went to a well-recognized high school beforehand. My mother told me she first went to Hendrix which people think is awesome but guess what...at least in her classes (biology, micro, etc) the teachers spoonfed the students. Then when she transferred to UALR her science classes kicked her butt because they don't mess around here just because a student has money. (This is just one case though, not a generalization of expensive colleges...I still want to attend one...)

I took an ACT class so that I'd know HOW to take the test well. It's not just knowing the material (And on top of that it is largely memorized), it's knowing HOW to take the test, as well as curbing test anxiety. Taking that course helped me raise my score by 2 points. I either got a 26 or a 27 ... So its not amazing but for me that's pretty good considering my grades weren't great in high school or elementary school, except for certain classes...and now that I'm in college my GPA is higher than ever before because I work harder here. Something has clicked with me.

What I'd suggest is apply to a good community college (some are not the best mind you) and get a degree. Then see if you can get into graduate school, at a more well-known university. I may do that myself. Even though UALR is a uni, people still think it's a last resort or 'stupid' college and that's just not true. Why does expense have to mean quality?

Awww thanks... I totally understand though, I know community college isn't bad. I'm planning on transferring after two years ( When I get my Associate's ) I'll guaranteed admissions into a Florida university then. I took an SAT class too I mean... It wasn't that helpful for me. Like there were some tips and tricks but I already knew them. I don't know why, I hate those tests and they hate me. I cannot do good on them :\ Period. No matter how many times I try...



That seems pretty messed up. Tell her to knock it off if she "doesn't mean it". Then it should be easy for her to not mention it.
And with all those other things I don't see how you're not getting in. Do they tell you specifically that it's your test scores?
It doesn't sound like test scores would outweigh all that other stuff.

It is my test score sadly :\ They have told me that is the reason I can't get in. I mean, you generally need a 26 on the ACT and a 1250 (without writing) on the SAT at the least to get into a university in Florida. I've talked to some admission directors and they just advise me to test again. And after the third time of bombing it, you just kinda wanna quit, you know? It just makes me sick thinking of that test again.



I might be a bit biased, But why not do something for yourself. Move over to the west coast. (That way youre still in florida if your family needs you). Apply to SPC (Saint Pete College) Very well known and affordable school That just made itself a University level school. Find some classes you would be interested in and try it out. If you dont like it then maybe college isn't for you. Either way what I'm saying is remove yourself from the negativity of your family. You're not going to be able to change them. And the negativity is only going to bring you down. Go your own way, and experience life your way. No mold to fit into, no guidelines. It might just be the best thing thats ever happened to you. And you wont be in a negative environment so theres more "Happy Time".

I can't move away :\ I'm just 18 fresh out of high school. I have barely enough money to get gas weekly haha! If I had money to move out to the West Coast, I would have a tail by now too! I love Florida, don't get me wrong, I just can't stand my family acting like this.

Update: My mom started talking to me again (Finally) but my sister refuses to go to my graduation :\

[MermaidRaegan]

Try taking the test again! I took my SAT three times before I got a score that my Mom would let me use. -_-'

[Mermaid Luna]

@iblondie: I rather know almost exactly how you feel, because I'm pretty much in the same boat, save for the fact that my family doesn't depend on me financially. My dad lost his job last year, and as a result, we're selling the house up here in Michigan and they're moving to my grandpa's old house in Ohio. But I'm not going. I refuse to leave all of the people who give a damn about MY happiness and success, my job, and the area that most feels like home to be shackled in another state with my family AND extended family, no car, no job, and no friends.

I'm turning into a box-packing maniac in the effort to get as much of my things out of my family's house BEFORE I inform them that I'm not moving to Ohio with them, am moving in with my friend/mertender Chucky and his family, and that I'll be spending the entire second weekend of June with my boyfriend, Steve (which they really won't like, cuz I'm not married or blood-related to him -_-).
Hoping to have most everything out and safe by the first week of June, and then probably tell the family all of the aforementioned^ that first weekend, which gives me the weekend and next week to bomb my big items out and move into Chucky's.

I'm FINALLY getting to a point in life where I can be really happy, and for once, I'm taking the initiative and doing something about it, rather than continuing to let my family steer my path. To put it simply, my advice is to do and be what makes you happy, set goals and work hard at them, and if the family you have is negative about any of it, make a new family like Raina. <3

[Mermaasai]

hmmmph this is all very upsetting..

Why do people cling to college as the only way to function any more?

The costs are astronomical, and you aren't even remotely guaranteed a job once your graduate.
Most of the college grads I've known have ended up back at their parents home working menial jobs with MASSIVE amounts of debt.

I graduated high school at 16 and didn't go to college. I immediately got a job and moved out.
I worked to stabilize my life as an adult in a working environment first, with an apartment, a cat, and steady relationships that I could count on.
Once I felt functional as a unit completely separate from my family I went to a vocational school and got an associates degree.

I got an apprenticeship in glass working (glass blowing) and dabbled in other art forms and I've never attended a big university.
I've owned two houses and I'm renting out one, and I have had a lot of financial ups and downs but I've never regretted not going to college.
The debt and insecurity of work afterwards is enough for me to say mleh. Maybe some day after they aren't gouging the students(LOLOLOLOL)

Kids are getting conditioned to assume that college is the only way to be respected in life and its just not true.
They aren't getting shown that there are other ways to make your way through this life with out the degree.

That being said- I realize that you desperately want to go to uni, and I respect it! Its noble and you would probably fit in GREAT! You seem to have a sound mind and a loving and kind personality with the drive to back it up.

I'd say that while you are studying for the exams you hunt hunt hunt hunt for an internship or job in the related field. Requirements be damned.
Write a convincing and eloquent cover letter. Stand out. Be a shark.
Even if its not the job you ideally want, do what ever you can to get a foot in the door.
If they say they want some one 'on track' for a bach. YOU ARE.
You just have to take a longer way around, but you know and they should know that it is your ultimate goal, and that counts.
If you go to community college- YOU ARE ON TRACK.
And press that into their brains.

As far as family is concerned, while I don't know them from adam- Leave.
Get a job, find a room mate, and get an apartment on the other side of the state.
I really really dislike emotional vampires and thats what they sound like.
You won't be doing them-or you any favors by sticking around and letting them suck the life out of you.
They will get by with out you.
Don't let them guilt you, and don't waver.
Be strong, and do what needs to be done for your well being.
Its time for the bird to fly the coop.
If they aren't going to help you with college, then why stick around to get emotionally torn up every day. There's no give and take, its all take on their end.
If they were going to help pay for it, I would understand the desire to keep on good terms but even then.. you have to ask yourself if its worth it.

Like raina said.. you can MAKE your own family.
You can pick and choose you have in your life on a daily basis.
And you should pick those who are uplifting and kind, and who encourage you in all your endeavors, and are honest with you in a way that doesn't crush your spirit.

Be strong.
You are bright and beautiful and sharp as a razor and don't let any one, even family, even stupid test scores, tell you other wise.
What ever you choose to do, know that your TRUE friends/family will support you, not prey on you.

Believe in YOU

*big squishy mer-hug*

[NerineArcticMermaid]

Ok. Didnt reader all the PST but the first...

IT DOES NOT MATTER WHAT COLLEGE YENDEDUP!!!!!!. YOUR DEGREE ONLY SAYS WHERE YOU ENDEDUP!!!!!!

[Blondie]

Thanks Nerine :) Thankfully this situation has cleared up. I am attending community college now and looking to transfer with my A.A in two years. I have to say, it is quite wonderful to be paying a total of $100 for classes with Florida Pre-Paid. Though I have to admit, I don't dig the classroom setting. I really haven't met too many friendly people...