Stop making fun of my dream.

[Mermaid Summer]

How do you deal with people who make fun of you for wearing or having a tail? It seems that the more people I tell about my dream to own a tail from Merbella studios, the more people make fun of me. They laugh and say I need to grow up or that "wasting" 2k on a photo prop is dumb. It really does hurt my feelings and it is people I grew up. I don't want them out of my life over this but I wish every time I talked about it, they wouldn't make me feel bad.


I've always loved being in water, water makes me feel free.

[Mermaid Fenicia]

I know that feeling as most people say the same to me.:mad:

[Merman Ray]

I'll tell you how to deal with them, with total hostility! Tell them to go fuck themselves. The same way I did more than 20 years ago when I was cought sleeping with a plush fox back in my old carny days. What are they going to do? make fun of you? they are going to do that anyway so fuck them all!
Parden my French but I had a hard time in my life with people fucking with me since, well, forever ago.
I had a lot more things to say after this but desided to not continue because of the extreme betrayal and hatred that fallowed. Maybe you will have better luck than me. But always do as you want to do no matter what anyone else thinks.

[Winged Mermaid]

I'm also saving for a 3k tail by Merbellas Studios. I've also already spent about 1k on my Mertailor tail (now falling apart). I just recently had a big argument with someone about what they said I could, "-really be doing with that money instead of wasting it like that" and other similar hurtful statements :( My family, on the other hand, is freaking awesome and pulled together for my birthday to give me quite a chunk of change so I could get a new tail (since my old one is on the way out)! Before then the 3k one was way out of reach, now I have hope that I can make it the rest of the way so I'm saving and working hard!

I actually don't tell people how much this dream tail of mine costs because I know I'd get the same reaction you're getting, and more of the same of what I've already gotten, and it's very discouraging. I don't understand how regular people can spend a couple of thousand on things that are frivolous hobbies but make them happy- like jet skis, motorcycles, dirt bikes, high end guns, scuba diving equipment, horses, ect ect ect- and that's fine, but with us it's a waste and a joke. Just becuase it's not as main stream doesn't mean it's any less important to us. If it wasn't important to me I wouldn't be saving and wanting to spend that much on it!

So yeah, I feel you. :/ It seems to make it more acceptable if you tell them you plan on becoming a professional/working mermaid. In the end it's your money and your dream, and you do what makes you happy because it's your life! And sometimes you just have to very seriously and sternly tell them that, and say that unless they have anything positive and supportive to say then you don't want to hear any more about it, not another word. I've found that once people realize how serious and passionate I am about it they lay off, and if they can't say something nice they tend to not say anything at all.

I hope you can find/make some peace with them. I would hope since you've known them growing up once they realize how important it is to you they'd respect it. But perhaps they just need to see that in you and let it the notion sink in, both over time, before that will happen.
I remember when I bought the fabric and monofin for my first tail, and my whole family thought I was nuts and irresponsible for spending the money on it, now they're gifting me money to help me! So there is hope, I promise :)

[Prince Calypso]

i agree with merman ray. tell them to fuck off.
its you fucking money, you can do with it as you fucking please.
if people don't like it they can all get bent!!!

[MerAnthony]

I agree also ,tell the people go get bent and mind there own business an if they don't like it then tell them don't look. It's your life,live it like you want to, an not how they want you to. If you and your family is ok with it then I do not see a problem. An if other people don't like it "FUCK EM".(sorry for language)

[halesloveswhales]

I think that the way to get them off your tail (pun intended), is to just prove them wrong. Show them how much fun it is. How much mermaiding really means to you. Some people spend all their money on traveling for soccer games, or buying huge TV sets. This just happens to be your expensive hobby, and it means just as much, if not way more, than the next guy's big TV. So show them how wrong they are. Show them how useful and amazing a tail can be. And through whatever mer-activity you do (birthday parties, photo shoots, etc.) show them how much other people love you doing it. I am a firm believer in not using harsh words to prove a point because there are so many other more effective ways. If they shoot you down, smile and say that it's something you love and that they can't change your mind through their words. And maybe don't share your joys as much with people who aren't going to encourage you. I'm not saying to ditch those friends, but maybe mermaiding is just something that you should share with other people who are going to be more supportive.

[Kanti]

One way I've learned to deal with that situation is to sort of put things into perspective for people.
Once my parents started making fun of me because I had bought some sort of costume piece that
was a bit pricey (nothing like a tail, but it was something around $200-$300). They said the usual
like "who pays that much for something?" etc. I just sort of told them "Well, I think it would be a huge
waste of money to pay some IT guy to come fix your computer for $90 an hour but you guys wouldn't
find that to be a waste of money. Sometimes people think differently than you." Some people spend
$500-$1000 for BASEBALL TICKETS. Tell me that's not an utter waste of money? Not only can you
watch it for free on TV, but it's not even a solid thing like a mermaid tail that you can use over and over
whenever you want. Yet people love baseball and will throw that money away no problem. People who
like guns spend WAY over $1k a year to buy ammo. You can say the same to them. Why would you pay
that much just to shoot off some gun? Makes you feel like a tough guy? Well, those people think it's
worth it. There are LOTS of things that are much more wasteful and expensive, people just don't realize
that. I find when you point it out to them they get somewhat of an understanding. If they still make fun
of you then they're just losers who are going to bother you regardless because they don't think you're
"normal". In that case, go ahead and take Ray's advice and tell them off xD

[MerAnthony]

You know when reading this post is like an eye opener for me as well. I at times am a little shy untill i get to know somebody and felt a little apprehensive about swimming in tail. But by reading all this. You guys make me feel so much better about swimming in my tail and about myself. But I still get butterflies in my belly when I do swim in my tail though.

[Nyx]

I don't really quite agree with telling them to go fuck off.
If they are like this to you all the time though, yes, tell them that
But if it's the first time they behave like this to you and they aren't TOO rude or mean about it
and you want to keep them in your life
then don't quite tell 'em to fuck off.
Being hostile to someone to get a point across wouldn't work in most situations in my eyes.
If I were you I would be serious about it.
For example I have told a lot of people about how I want to get/make a mermaid tail and all
and most of my friends and family look at me funny and tell me it's stupid or that it's childish.
In return I just quite plainly and seriously tell them
"It's my dream, It's what I want to do and it matters to me."
If they don't get your drift with just that, and they keep telling you it's a waste and childish
You should just tell them exactly how you feel
that it hurts for them to be insulting your dreams, and that you want them to stop.
In any case, if they really are worth being in your life then they should stop.
But you have to stand up and fight for your dreams.
Don't let anyone hurt you by insulting what you want to do, after all, it's what YOU want to do
It's non of their business if you want to be a doctor or a performing monkey.
If they don't agree with it or think it's childish
then they are just close minded or/and jealous.
Their opinion doesn't matter one bit.
I think one of the most amazing qualities of people in this community, is how they stand up and live their dreams while ignoring/ fighting off any negative comments they get.

On a side note, I hope what i wrote makes sense o wo;;;
I just woke up and my speaking skills are horrible.

[Thalassa]

I know what you mean (I'm going through that with my family), but you can stand up for yourself without being mean. In my personal philosophy, few things call for total hostility. Yes, they don't understand. Yes, they may be concerned where they don't have to be. Yes, they're sticking their noses where they don't belong. Yes, it annoys you. The long and short of it is that this is your life. You don't have to listen to them, or associate with them if you decide this bugs you enough to come to that. I like what Nyx said. Be open, but you don't have to be hostile. In fact, in my experience, being hostile simply reinforces the idea that you're childish or unreasonable.

On another note, these comments are just a part of the life we choose to live. Very few people will understand what we're doing (and, more importantly, why) right off the bat. If you are letting first-time comments get to you...don't get too offended.

[New York Mermaid]

The thing is there are going to be many people who are going to do this, while some are amazed and support the dream theres that group who are either stupid because they dont understand or just have nothing better to do. My dream was to work with animals my mother shot me down so much, cause i was always so sick all the time, my dad told me " take everything negative people say about you and turn it into something positive". Within 3 years i was working at the aquarium.. I told him about me becoming a mermaid he said "Go for it, be different and shine in your own way"

And im letting you know screw what everyone else says and do it for yourself, theres always going to be nagative people out there, you just need to push it all aside and prove them wrong! Just dont talk about it to them if their acting that way or educate them about how many mermaids are out there hell show them the mernetwork, videos of professional mermaids and show them that its an actual job.. if they still put you down, You push forward.

You got to be tough and grow a tough skin sometimes, especially in this type of field. when working at the aquarium i had some people saying we should put our 38yr old blind harbor seal back into the wild.. i smiled and explained why it wasnt possible and they continually insisted. I said 'well thanks for supporting our aquarium by paying admission since it will go to our research and care of these animals.'. and went my merry way..

Listen you have a WHOLE support system Here, we wont push you down or tell you off, we got your dorsal (lol) be strong and carry on! We are here for you.

[AniaR]

Ive actually been lucky enough to never have this issue. But people always make fun of things that make them uncomfortable, jealous, or make them feel dumb. They will ALWAYS pick something to hate on. So let it slide off your fin

[Mermaid Fenicia]

I ignore them to as most of the time those people are just don't really know what you can do. ;)

[Mermaid Summer]

Thank you! I can't wait til I meet more mermaids and merman to swim with. My husband likes the idea but he would never put on a tail :(

[merboy78xy]

I agree with Kanti and Nyx... i think that if these people mean something to you, than you should try to change their perspective. Aggression just tends to make matters worse. Likewise, as Nyx says: if they are like this to you all the time, why keep that negativity in your life? Get rid of it! But if they are people who you love and care about and they just don't understand THIS aspect of you, then either tell them: it's ok they don't understand, but it makes you happy and you wish they'd let it go, or try to find things in their life that mirrors this interest of yours. Maybe one of them has a penchant for shoes and buys expensive ones... or lots and lots of them... (for example). You could say: this is your hobby and it makes you happy, and I support you spending your time and money on what makes you happy. Likewise, this makes ME happy and I enjoy spending MY time and MY money on it.
One of the tactics I tend to use when sharing this (or other unique interests of mine) with other friends is to make it a cute, silly, fun "quirk" or "eccentricity" of mine (of which I have TONS). I introduce it in a silly way and make light of the situation. That way people feel comfortable talking, asking questions, etc. about it and don't feel like they have to tip-toe around the subject. Plus, it puts THEM at ease about not understanding my interest. Sometimes just letting people know that it's ok that they don't "get it" and that you like them anyway helps.
But it is true that whenever you have the guts to be different and non-conformist to the "norms" that our society tries to push on us, we will have to get a tough skin and let the idiots/bigots/racist/un-original/ill-educated, etc. people not get to us. They say things like this because they would never let themselves be free enough to live their dreams!

[Merman Ray]

I guess I should have not advised hostility, especially because I have not gone that far myself when people have critisized me for spending money on things they are not into. My mother and brother have ripped into me for buying fox things, well so what? I am an obsessive collector of fox things of all kinds. It is my thing and they don't have to kile it.
I even legally changed my name to Fox, that's how far I am into them! I have been wanting a tail like the one in Splash ever since the movie came out, but I did not know how to make one. My personal strategy of dealing with this topic here is I do not talk to anyone about it outside of this forum. Literally nobody knows of my interest in the mermaid tail thing so I avoid even having to be made fun of. But I have been made fun of and insulted for many things my whole life so I know better than to let anyone know.

[Nyx]

I know this is completely off topic but . . .


I am an obsessive collector of fox things of all kinds.

So I'm not the only one :'D

[Lyna]

I haven' been made fun of yet for my dream....but I totally understand about the money comments. When my husband found out how much I spent on my tail from the Mertailor he was not a happy friggin guy. He said it was ridiculous and irresponsible. But I waited 6 years to buy it and that its YEARS too long. I've wanted this for 20 years...why wait another 20 because of money. In the grand scheme of things...it isn't that expensive. Break down the amount you spent on how long it will last and most importantly HOW HAPPY IT MAKES YOU...then look around at people blowing all their funds on video games hat they beat in 3 days and smoking week or other such nonsense... why should other people influence how you feel about your own decisions? I suffer from social anxiety and totally understand how quickly something small can escalate in your own mind, but if you're really a mermaid inside...who cares when you finally become one outside. People get boob jobs. I'll rock my prosthetic tail. :)

[Bellasea]

People get boob jobs. I'll rock my prosthetic tail. :) This is awsome! :D

Also, i love getting negative comments (yeah, weird). I think of it as a great way to work on my speaking /people/thinking skills. Like when an old chemistry teacher found out about my plans to get a tail and tried to rip me to shreds over it. I just responded back to every jab. The first time he ridiculed me I tried to keep my cool. I lasted like 5 minutes, before I got upset, but every time he brought it up again I was able to last longer before lashing out in anger. Responding and keeping your cool against negative comments also helps you think on your feet.

And it is always easy to turn the conversation back on them, espeacially (sp?) when it is someone you know. When a family member says something about how much money a tail is, you know something about them. Like Kanti said, my dad spends way too much $$ on guns/ammo/bows/other hunting shit, so it is real easy to campare the cost of a tail to his upcoming $1500 hunt.

[Dacora]

I just tell them "Its my money that I work for and save. If you don't like it oh well. You don't have to be so mean,condescending and rude." That usually shuts them up. I haven't been teased about wanting a tail but people have given me crap about spending over 600 dollars for my fish. :p

[Lyna]

"You create your own reality
so leave mine to me."
-Greg Graffin

[Celia]

You know, sometimes people spend endless amounts of money on cars, clothes, and parties. How many times has that same model of car they so willingly blow their lifes savings on reprodced? Just about thousands upon thousands of times.
Your tail is something very special, itgrants you freedom of a realm that not many others have explored withsuch love and cherishedness that many people who buy or make tails have.
Making fun of someone just because they spend money on something other then a spanking brand new car or mounds of desiner clothes isnt justified at all. They like to spend their money on their things,
and you like to spend your money on yours. Some peoples dreams are to be awesome artists, or rockclimbers. Or maybe something like a giant robot! :D
If someone tells someone else that their dream is stupid or worthless, then I think the person that said that seems a wee bit jelous.
Not many people have enough balls to explore the sea, rivers, or waters like many people here do.
But, I do disagree with just kinda telling them to go fuck themselves. If theyre your oldest and some of your greatest friends I think they'd be able to understand you really well if you
put it out into prespective like some of the other members were saying. <3
No matter if they may have hurt you, I think it really works to be patient to people, but not bend to their will and don't become spineless. But, just saying, “FUCK YE AND YER MUM. D:<<” Will probly just make more trouble.
Talking really does help alot. <3 But, no matter what happens, dont give up. Those people who may be ridaculing you may have given up their dreams already. That might bewhy theyre so cold.

[Spindrift]

Relevant:

http://a8.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-ash3/599750_304516299644606_1504805436_n.jpg

[Merman Dan]

...people have given me crap about spending over 600 dollars for my fish. :p

Try explaining spending $$$ on live rock and live sand. ;) I tend to tell people not to get into the saltwater aquarium hobby unless they are prepared to flush money down the toilet.