Working with Kids

[Mermaid Lei Loni]

I just had a general question for all of you lovely Mers. For those that do events and work regularly with kids, how do you handle the ones that are aggressive, rude, etc. Most of the kids I have worked with were very excited to see me and swim with me, but I had a little boy that insisted I wasn't real (which irritated me because he was ruining it for the other kids that were there) and then proceeded to punch/kick/step on my tail and me to prove that the fin "wasn't real". I kept kindly telling him to stop because the fin was part of my body and that it hurt me when he did that, but he still did it several more times. I eventually told the other kids that I would be back in a few minutes and swam away. Since I was in a public pool, his parents weren't there.

What do you do when you have kids like that? How do you handle them? What do you say?

Thanks for the input!

[Mermaid Celissa]

I see your problem. I don't work professionally, but at the beach that kind of thing happens A LOT. I tell them nicely to stop, and if they don't, make sure he knows you're being serious. If they won't stop, swim away, or talk to other children. Include the child in the conversation but keep your tail out of their reach.

[Mermaid Cascada]

Well being a kid myself I would say... "BACK OFF KID I AIN'T PLAYIN'!!!!" lol jk I seriously would swim away and if he followed me and kept stepping on my tail I would show him how upset he was making me or you could even pretend he was really hurting you so he could see the consequences of his actions.

[Mermaid Saphira]

I once had a little boy try to insist that I wasn't a real mermaid and, although he was not agressive, it did bother me slightly. I used a little comeback I saw on here awhile ago and simply said "Well, if I'm not a mermaid than what do I look more like? A dragon? Maybe a fairy?" It shut him up LOL ;)

[Gem Stone]

Because I swim in my tail around my buddies who are brutal to me in it, I've learned you can and cannot help it. You cannot make them believe, but you can make them shut up. With my friends, I just twitch my tail and end up whacking one of them. With little kids, I've asked them how they like getting hit. Most will admit they don't like it and stop. Some will keep pestering you. This is when I started a water wrestling match and beat this young child soundly. Again. None of this was professional and Im still a child myself so I could do this as long as he didn't get hurt

[Mermaid Lei Loni]

This is all great input! Thank you so much! :)

[Cordelia]

If there are life guards present, you could ask that he be removed from the pool or put in time out for physical behavior exhibiting violence. I can't imagine he would be at a public pool without some kind of adult supervision, even if it is just a nanny or a babysitter.

Although, I have not had this experience, I do sometimes get the rude attitude from younger students I tutor. I think that because I am young looking they think they can get away with it. :/ I usually just ask them if they would say/do something like that to their regular classroom teacher/an adult. Usually their answer is no; at which point I ask them why they think it is okay to treat me any differently, since I am an adult.

I think that you did well in swimming away. Sometimes not acknowleging a behavior can also get a result in your favor. If you happen to see him again, treat him as you would any other child. As soon as he starts behaving badly, swim away. He'll eventually learn that his behavior will either get him the attention that he seeks (good behavior) or nothing at all (bad behavior).

[New York Mermaid]

NO!
You Never touch a child Never!! You tell them to stop and if it continues swim away -- from annoying behavior. When you stop giving attention to annoying behavior, there's nothing in it for the child.

You tell the kids before you swim away, "because theres a child who wants to hurt you, and until he calms down or goes away your not going near the side of the pool"..most likely the kids will tell him off. you take a few minutes and swim around flick your tail above the surface a few times, really give a small "show" and then come back, everytime the kid - who's bugging- comes over towards you, act scared and swim away.. But if the kid keeps it up, its best to alert an authority there lifegaurd teacher or other, let them know the behavior of the child.

also remember your tail is apart of you, if anyone touches it act like it tickles, if they attempt to hurt your tail, kick etc.. act genuinely hurt, i mean really sell it "AH who did that, that hurt! and then tell them, please dont do that, I need my tail to swim, just like you need legs to walk, If you dont believe im real, then you dont believe in magic or rainbows. of wind. if they say something like yeah but you can feel the wind you tell then, but you dont see it do you? so how do you know it's really real??

[Mermaid Lira]

That's a great answer I think, mermaid Lanai =) I can't believe that kids could be so... aggressive ! And personnaly, if someone only walk on my fluke, I can feel it and sometimes, it hurts me ! So if a kid, one day, is like you describe him, I hope I'll have no problem.... o_o

[Kanti]

Yea, Lanai basically has it spot on. Sometimes kids can be little brats xD You just have to
ignore them, you shouldn't hurt them or even touch them because you never know how that
can escalate. Parents might be watching, even if they're not HIS parents, they'll still cause
a scene if they think you're hurting him, and if he says you were then yeaaa everything is
gonna go downhill from there xD

And getting the other kids to tell him off is pretty smart, actually. You just let them know that
because of that ONE kid, you don't want to be around that area anymore, so of course they're
going to get upset. So basically in the kid's eyes, instead of being a big shot like he thought
he was by saying you weren't real, he instead gets a bunch of his friends getting mad at him.
Great, strategy, really xD

[Mermaid Lei Loni]

I completely agree! I would have never thought to involve the other children like that. Luckily when I swam away, the other kids followed me to the deep end...and the one smacking my tail couldn't swim there! It never ceases to amaze me at how awful some kids can be.

[Arella]

You could say "If I'm wearing a mermaid tail I must be a little nuts right? Now don't you think it's a good idea to leave crazy people alone? I thought so."

[AniaR]

I didnt get a chance to read everyone's replies, so forgive me if this is repetitive.
A few things that have worked for me
1- the teacher voice and language. "Excuse me, this is my body and I dont appreciate you hurting it." it usually catches them off guard, and with a stern tone, it'll work
2-if an adult/parent is near by flag them for help, and or ask them to explain to the child that the other children believe and are having fun
3- tell them the other children are having fun and not to say that to you
4- "you're not real", "sorry, how many mermaids do you know?" "yup Im real, now get off my body I need to swim" phrases like this

The best thing with kids giving you behavioural issues is to be firm, dont worry about offending people, you can even use words like "that's not respecting me". Im sure people roll their eyes reading this, but it works! It works for me in teaching, daycare, and mermaiding. Be firm, don't back down, and once you address the child ignore what they say (dont ignore them hurting you/touching you etc) dont pay it any attention, dont argue, just do your thing.

it's good to have an arsenal of comebacks for when kids asks if you're real, but when they're getting to the point of being disrespectful, lay down the law. It also helps when emailing back and forth for booking gigs if you explain to the parents before hand that you'd appreciate any help with managing any destructive behaviours, and set it up as a disclaimer so that nobody feels like you're signalling them out.

I let people know as soon as they book me that I will do my best to entertain and educate but I am not to be left alone with the children and as I can't walk or move out of the water quickly I will need their assistance in addressing any behavioural issues.

Sorry you had that experience. I had a school group once I actually had to yell at like a teacher. I rarely yell at kids but when you have 30 of them, jumping on you and screaming and being rude with no teacher doing anything, you bet I yelled, "EXCUSE ME you are disrespecting my body and my words. You need to sit down, or choose to go somewhere else. I have fun things I would like to share and do with you, but I can't do that with children who aren't quiet or respectful." it usually scares the shit out of them to see you be assertive. I know it can take a lot of guts to do it, but it's really the best way. Then you just go right back to how you are without missing a beat. Dont dwell on it.

I hope that helps

[Gem Stone]

I feel guilty for my post now, and I would like the clarify that the little boy I was water wrestling with was one of our long time family friends, his parents were in the water with us, and I made sure he never got hurt. Mostly I was just tickling him. Again, that was NOT professional and I would never do that on a job. I was in my own pool with adults and friends. Now I don't feel so guilty clarifiying that.

[Mermaid Celissa]

Good job Gem! I'm proud of you for clairifying

[Joy&RaptorsUnrestrained!]

As a former lifeguard, I can say that even if children are in the pool without parental supervision, they usually have a guardian... another relative, a friend of the family, a teacher, a babysitter, a camp counselor, an older sibling, etc. Many pools have some policy in this regard, and rules about no Horseplay and the like. I'd check the official rulings and point them out to the kid.

Raina's discussion about respect and selling the being hurt act (especially if he could hurt your legs or damage your tail by doing it) are also great ideas. You might also ask him why he's hurting you, since he wouldn't like it if kicked at his legs with your tail.

[Mermaid Sirena]

All of this is wonderful advice, I only have one other thought. If someone says you aren't real & are extremely vocal about it then quite it down & just sit next to you in the throng of children. It doesn't always mean they are behaving themselves, it can just mean they are slowly tearing apart the side fins that you can't feel & can't really see because of all the children. So pay special attention to their actions even if they settle down.

[halesloveswhales]

Oh man, Sirena. If you're talking from personal experience, then that's absolutely terrible! Especially if the child was ripping apart the tail that's in your picture (it's gorgeous by the way!).
Also guys, don't forget about your mermaid wrangler/handler/assistant. They're your best body guard! :)

[Mermaid Sirena]

Yes I'm afraid it is from personal experience & it was to the tail in the picture. Luckily it's repairable damage and to those who don't know what it's supposed to look like or don't pay close attention it's not to obvious. I just need to go purchase the supplies then find a time when I have a few weeks to let it cure for it to be fully repaired.

[Mermaid Lei Loni]

That's awful! I can't believe someone would sit and pick at your tail! It never ceases to amaze me at what kids are capable of, and what I personally would say is a lack of parenting. I hate to blame the kid, mostly because I think it's the parent's job to teach them how to behave in public and how to treat other people with respect. That's of course, my opinion.

I had a young girl last night pull on my tail so hard I thought she was going to break it. As many have suggested, I let out a loud yelp in pain (which was what alerted her mother). But the little brat still pulled until her mom dragged her off me. Luckily her mother was close by and she was quickly taken from the pool, and no damage was done.

[Mermaid Sirena]

Unfortunately that is a common occurrence though it was wonderful that the mother was close by & responded so quickly!

[Jeblily]

Fear tactic.... parents
Kids hate getting in trouble. Ask where there parents are, and if they continue to cause trouble ask to speak with them. Likely, they will get their parents or stay away from you.

"Excuse me what are you doing?" : Mermaid
"What ever I want." : kid
"You can't do that, it's not nice" : Mermaid
"You aren't the boss of me!" : Kid
"Where are your parents?" : Mermaid

Kid runs away....

[Merman_Shawn]

I'm sitting here taking copious amounts of mental notes. This is all very useful stuff. :)

[Aradia]

Loving this thread, i'm really learning a bunch and I hope people keep adding to it!

I've been pretty lucky, kids i've worked with tend to ask why you have a tail on/why you act like a mermaid/tell you that you aren't real for a certain amount of time. After that if you've stuck to your story and been dead serious that you're a mermaid they tend to back off or believe you. I've been very lucky with having really attentive parents, I can't imagine a child ripping fins off :'(

[Mermaid Saphira]

here is another comeback....

Bratty child: "You're not real!"
Mermaid: "I am real. I'm here, am I not?"