The Girl With the Sea-Green Eyes

[Alveric]

As many of you already know, I'm working on the sequel to my book The Accidental Mermaid. I'm writing chapter twelve now. Since you-all are the model readers, I'd like to get some feedback. I'm going to post links to individual chapters, starting with the first. Please read them and let me know what you think, because if you-all don't like it, nobody will. ;-)

Caution, if you haven't read the original, there are spoilers.

Chapter One
http://alveric2.deviantart.com/gallery/#/d4eq712

[Alveric]

Chapter Two
http://alveric2.deviantart.com/gallery/#/d4gyz8j

[roamingmer]

I'm replying as a recent forum member and read through the two chapters. Having not read the original book Im not aware of story prefix. I would have some constructive feedback but probably easier to discuss by email. I do like the construct - cross of piers Anthony and other similar novels, but was missing some of the dry irony (Xanath was modeled on Florida keys)

[Alveric]

Chapter Three
http://alveric2.deviantart.com/gallery/#/d4ipbh2

[Alveric]

Chapter Four
http://alveric2.deviantart.com/gallery/#/d4mrefw

[Alveric]

Chapter Five

http://alveric2.deviantart.com/gallery/#/d4q6769

[Alveric]

Chapter Six

http://alveric2.deviantart.com/gallery/#/d4uik8k

[Alveric]

Chapter Seven

http://alveric2.deviantart.com/gallery/#/d4z7vxn

I hope you all are enjoying this.

[Alveric]

Chapter Eight

http://alveric2.deviantart.com/gallery/#/d51gwyf

[Alveric]

Chapter Nine

http://alveric2.deviantart.com/gallery/#/d52qdbf

[Alveric]

Chapter Ten

http://alveric2.deviantart.com/gallery/#/d57tmnu

[Alveric]

Chapter Eleven

http://alveric2.deviantart.com/#/d5akqba

[Alveric]

Chapter Twelve

http://alveric2.deviantart.com/#/d5e9uo5

That's it, everything I've done of this story so far. There will be more, but it will be at irregular intervals as I get each chapter done. Thank you, Roamingstudio for your comments.
Well, how was it, everyone? Does anyone want to see more? How can I make it better?

[roamingmer]

Well my comments need to be compiled; I just completed a creative writing workshop and hope that I can give some more usefeel feedback (when I get time to read). We also received advice on self publishing... essentially everything I wrote in the thread to prince calypso is valid... plus that Novella's (5k --> 15k words) are much more profitable...

[Alveric]

Chapter Thirteen

http://alveric2.deviantart.com/#/d5t5qi1

Sorry about the long delay. Enjoy.

[Alveric]

Chapter Fourteen is now available.

http://alveric2.deviantart.com/art/The-Girl-With-the-Sea-Green-Eyes-Chapter-Fourteen-365872716?q=gallery%3Aalveric2&qo=0