Mer: coming out

[telzey.amberdon]

Who did you tell that you are a mermaid? Why? So far I'm only out with my wife and that's because she is one too. It just doesn't seem to be something you would talk about with other people unless they are out on the water or do things like cosplay and are open about it.

[halesloveswhales]

I talked about it with some of my friends who knew already that I was obsessed with mermaids. They joked lovingly, and I was okay with that because I laughed along at the craziness of the whole idea. However, I was afraid at that my not-so-close friends would not-so-lovingly joke about it, so I didn't talk about it around them. I wasn't sure how I was going to tell them all, and I really wanted to put pictures on Facebook. I eventually just posted one picture with the caption, "Just doing what makes me happy." The response was just an overwhelming "Woah!" or "So cool!" Of course, I don't know exactly what everyone thinks, but I love my friends and trust them to love me back and support. I will post more pictures on Facebook progressively, but I think it's important to not overwhelm them. My biggest advice is to start by talking about it to the people you trust. And don't be so serious about it. Accept that being a mer is a bit unusual and silly, but embrace that! Laugh about it! :)

[AniaR]

huh. I've never really heard it called "coming out" before. Isn't it just sharing a unique interest with someone? I mean when you come out as gay it's not like it's an interest, it's a lifestyle, it's a.. well.. for lack of better words... everything!

I think I mentioned it to my bf and he was like "yeah, I could see you doing that" I didn't really tell people, I just started doing it and they found out!

[Ashe]

I obviously talked with my parents first, while they were deciding to get me my first tail or not. Then, i made a huge mistake of telling it to some very mean, backstabbing, rude, obnoxious, self absorbed, skeptical, unforgiving, clique kinda girls (please excuse my venting) who i thought were my friends. They thought it was the stupidest thing they ever heard and decided to tell the whole school about it. I was always being bullied and called names and was a loner for a while, but then it died down. I decided to never tell another person until i could truly trust them with all my heart. Then i met Isis. She loved mermaids and was obsessed with swimming like one, but had no idea of the mermaid community. As i figured more about the interest of hers, i decided to open up to her. We talked and talked, and decided we really wanted to be professionals; Working at aquariums and making appearences for events. I have a few other friends that know, but i dont think they know im still a mermaid. Im just happy i have Isis to talk constantly about mermaids to :) i love you, buddy!

[Mermaid Star]

Same as Raina here. I put up pics of my events and people who are on my facebook see them. I have recieved only positive feedback from this. It is just something I do and they know that.

[SilverSiren]

I obviously talked with my parents first, while they were deciding to get me my first tail or not. Then, i made a huge mistake of telling it to some very mean, backstabbing, rude, obnoxious, self absorbed, skeptical, unforgiving, clique kinda girls (please excuse my venting) who i thought were my friends. They thought it was the stupidest thing they ever heard and decided to tell the whole school about it. I was always being bullied and called names and was a loner for a while, but then it died down.

They're just jealous. I can guarantee all the girls (maybe even some of the guys if they were making fun too) wish they had the courage to do mermaiding, or at least have the courage to tell people something that seems out of the norm that they love to do. Heck, when they are all out of the sight of their peers, I bet every single one of them does some really weird stuff that they would be mortified if anyone knew! Everyone has their secrets, you were just brave enough to tell people and they got jealous because they wish they could too. It's really nice when you get out of school, the dumb social school crap doesn't matter anymore, you'll be in the real world were people have passions and tell everyone what they are, cause if no one likes it, it doesn't matter, cause you don't have to see those people ever again if you don't feel like it. I look back at high school now and wonder how the heck people thought they were cool. Cause you can't act like that in the real world, it's completely unacceptable, people would never have friends if they acted like that at my age. So, put up with the crap now, cause it wont last long. I mean, yeah, you have your jerks when you get older, but you'll just look at them like "whats your problem?" walk away and forget about it in a min. Chin up beautiful, people always hate what they wish they could be, jealousy is an ugly thing.

[Blondie]

I "came out" to my mom. I don't think of it as being something like being gay. It's just, a very unique interest. I mean the normal person believes that people "loose" interest in mermaids once they grow out of the kid age group. And some people find it difficult to understand that we see it as an art/exercise/hobby/ect. Some people really view it as "sad" because adults are still into it.

But in reality, they're just closed minded fools who aren't living a life where your mind can be free. I was SO scared about really pushing into the mer world. I hate being judge an I'm such a people pleaser. Just on night I was like "You know that, YOLO. (I know how lame?)" But seriously you live ONCE. Why don't you do what ever the hell you want (don't kill anyone though pleeasseee). But I'm sitting here wasting my life wondering what he or she's going to think of me. When I really don't give two shits what that person thinks about anything.

So when I told my mom she was totally okay with it. And I thought she was going to think I was a loser since I wasn't doing well in school and I was kinda just like living the "non-planned" life my family had established. She was BLOWN AWAY when she saw my tail. She couldn't believe how realistic it was, and she let me go to the meet up I planned a week ago. My mom I thought would be the last person on earth to let me go across the state to meet mermaids I met online. I feel like if I asked her that two years ago she would of laughed and laughed.

Really, once people see where you're coming from with mermaids, it's not considered "strange" anymore. It's basically like a branch of cosplay. And there's nothing wrong with that.

[jukumerboii]

ive been loving mermaids my WHOLE life, and like iblondie said, many people thought it was a faze, but it wasnt! my mom still gives me hell about it. like when i 1st got my tail and psoted pics on fb, she called me and bashed me, i just laughed and hung up on her. my friends on the other hand were sooooo interested by it.

living in charleston and having mostly black friends, alot of them asked those same ol' dumb human questions like "how do u swim in it?" "can u walk in it?" "where do your feet go?" so many of them tell me that they want a tail now and that i was brave to have one on and be out in public with it. now im called "merman" by EVERYONE that knows me and i love it!! lol

[Joy&RaptorsUnrestrained!]

Hmm... coming out is a term that largely is used by the GLBTetc community, however, it is more a result of the rest of our society than simply being gay. This idea that any action we do is "loser"-y or subject to ridicule is one that we as a whole need to wipe out. Yeah, ridicule will continue to happen... that's just part of human nature. However, we can train ourselves to put such ridicule in its place where it belongs and to make sure that ridicule doesn't prevent us from doing something we happen to enjoy.

I know one guy (who is openly gay) who loves World of Warcraft, Dragonlance, and all kinds of things like that... and he absolutely refuses to let anyone, gay friends or straight ones, know about it. He clams up about all his "nerdy" interests, and for awhile he even tried avoiding me for awhile since I am more open about my nerdy hobbies and interests and would usually strike up conversations with him about it at a local bar we go to. I myself pretended to be listening to other kinds of music than the pop and country songs I actually listened to back when I was in high school for fear of mockery.

By the way, isn't there already a thread on this same topic elsewhere in the forum? Doesn't anyone else use the search box before starting a new topic?

[Mermaid Bella]

I told a few people but I chose them very carefully, one because she is batcrap crazy and I knew she would love it. She's coming mermaiding with me when summer hits. I of course told my boyfriend, he is supportive of all of my exploits :) and another friend i told when i was drunk lol- but she would be onboard if i decided i was an amputee fetishist so mermaids were ok with her. I refuse to tell my parents. Theyve seen me go through many phases of weirdness and i dont think they can handle another. Plus they would probably assume i would get over it quickly, theyre still a little iffy about my bjd's...

[Mermaid Saphira]

I have always been interested in mers. I don't think I really got into it until I was 9, about the time mermaid tail tutorials came out. Bubbles and I shared this passion and decided to make tails. We didn't really tell anyone, but our parents and they found pretty amazing. They were even willing to help us pay for materials :). Eventually we started telling our good friends, they found it incredible! Now all of them (but one, sadly) are getting their own tails!!! We aren't afraid to be who we want..heck, we plan to carry our tails through the hallway on the last day of school and head to the beach ;)
I will say that there is one friend who disagrees about the whole mermaid thing, but I won't even begin to go there...She's not a bother ;) just ignore her and move on! We are doing what makes us happy and that is all that matters :D

[Lois]

... Just stumbled across this thread.
I guess telling people about being a mermaid is different for everyone, it also gets allot harder the older you get.

I've been fascinated with mermaids for as long as I can remember and I guess I thought I would grow out of it when I was younger but I never did. But even when I was 10 I wouldn't let on to my friends that I still liked mermaids and still read my favourite mermaid book all the time. I am 21 now and I still don't feel like I would be able to tell anyone that I'd love to go mermaiding. Last summer though I found mernetwork and ended up buying a tail :P I haven't swum with it yet and its hidden behind my wardrobe. But I really really want to go swimming in it :/ I don't know why im so secretive about it but I guess its cos im just quite a shy person anyway. But at some point I know that i'm gonna have to tell my boyfriend, ive been with him for long enough now to tell him..hmmm... still to embarrassed atm though.
any advice?

[Usagi]

Well I'm really shy. So much so that I'm pretty sure people think there's something wrong with me when I talk to them, because I'm no good at it haha but I tell everything to my boyfriend, and he was with me, cheering me on while I made my fabric tail, as he is now while I make the tail I'm working on. He is really happy that I've found something that I love doing and get excited about. He's a weirdo, and I'm a weirdo and we've never hidden it from each other (not saying mermaiding is weird). He also says he thinks I look "really sexy" as a mermaid, so I guess that's a plus lol I'm sure he would support you and be happy for you! If he thinks you're weird for it, then you punch him in the face and find someone better. :) haha

[Taniira]

My family knows about my getting a tail, but they're all crazy and know I have weird interests anyway so it wasn't a big deal. It took some explaining and Google-imaging before they understood what I was really talking about, but I think they think it's neat -- or at least they were supportive when I was there, even if they do think it's ridiculous. My niece turns 2 this year, so it should be interesting to see what she thinks about having a mermaid aunt as she grows up.

I'm also involved in some cosplay, so it's not really any different than explaining that, which helped. My employer doesn't know about any of it, but one of my bosses judges the whole "geek" thing so I try to avoid bringing up that side of my life as much as possible at work. I imagine I'll have to tell them if I do go professional in case I ever need to leave early for a mermaid job, but hopefully they'll have seen me as a mermaid before by then. I work for a small business, so it'd be nice to have their advice in starting up a small business of my own -- even if it's not at all related to their industry.

It was the same when I told it to my friends. The ones in cosplay got it right off the bat, but my more "normal" friends I had to do some explaining and picture-showing. I try to only surround myself with friends that don't care that I'm a bit off the beaten path with my interests, so to speak. Life's too short to surround yourself with people who will judge you.

[Mermaid Danielle]

People that know me know that I have always been into the supernatural and imaginary things, so for family and close friends, it wasn't a matter of coming out about it so much as it was 'oh by the way I'm going to do this publicly, as a performer'. All I received were well wishes and good lucks :) When it comes to people that I am less close with, or have just met, I usually don't bring it up unless it connects to a topic we are already discussing- doing that makes it less awkward to talk about.

Regardless, I'm not to worried about what people think of me on the matter. And anyone who's met me knows that. Being confident in yourself and what you are doing makes the situation so much less awkward for everyone involved because you show them it is *normal for you*. You'd be surprised how much people respect that type of confidence.

[seagirls626]

I "came out" to my BMF (best mer friend) Elena, who immediately became interested, and now we share this account! I then told my mom and dad, and they just thought it was cute. They've always called me a fairy because I'm so small and light, so mermaid doesn't really make a whole lot of a difference I guess. :) My sister found out about mermaids with me, but wasn't as interested as I was, but now that I have two tails, she's really gotten involved. I told another one of my friends, and she thought that it was awesome and that she might want a tail. I haven't really told anyone else yet, but the rest of my close family (aunts and uncles, cousins, grandparents, etc..) know and they think that it's pretty cool.

[SeaGlass Siren]

My family knows i love mermaids and all things undersea/beachy.. but i dont think they know i even have a tail to be honest. all of my friends do know though.. or at least.. i think they all do... and if they have a problem with it i dont think they've ever told me, but i really could care less about their opinion anyway. they all know what i'm into and "how into it" i can get so they dont even bat an eyelash.

[Elle]

a couple of years ago I told my boyfriend about wanting to be a mer. He thought is was cute. Then last year I found the merfin and that really kicked things off. I joined up on here and watched videos. So he bought me a merfin for Christmas. (a couple of days later he asked me what i was going to need to make this tail and what 'we' would have to do for it) After I opened my merfin I put it on and he carried me all the way next door and up a flight of stairs so I could show my family. It was an 'Oh WOW!' moment for them as they'd never seen one, heard of monofins or knew that I wanted to do this.
I told my mum right then and there "You know how I wanted to be a mermaid when i was 4? Well now i'm gonna do it" and that was it.
My best friend knew about it all a few months before my family. But I'm just keeping it at that until I get round to making a tail.

[Mermaid Harmony]

Wow, I'm surprised that some of you had harsh backlash. I'm from a performing arts type of community, and was in theatre in college, and so the day I discovered that you can be a professional mermaid is the day I announced that I would one day have a tail. I think my in-laws thought it was a little silly, but everyone who knows me, thought it was perfect and 'of course something I would do'. I don't know, it just felt like a natural segue for me as a performer, and for someone who has always encouraged people to go after their dreams it just felt right. I guess I was lucky enough to be around people who supported me in this.

[SeaGlass Siren]

Wow, I'm surprised that some of you had harsh backlash. I'm from a performing arts type of community, and was in theatre in college, and so the day I discovered that you can be a professional mermaid is the day I announced that I would one day have a tail. I think my in-laws thought it was a little silly, but everyone who knows me, thought it was perfect and 'of course something I would do'. I don't know, it just felt like a natural segue for me as a performer, and for someone who has always encouraged people to go after their dreams it just felt right. I guess I was lucky enough to be around people who supported me in this.

Digressing here: wow another theatre person!! :) i took theatre all through highschool!

Back on topic: Elle, my boyfriend also fully supports it too :) Finds it attractive even and was willing to help pay for my first tail !

[azaiya]

Well, I've loved mermaids since I was little. I was really embarrassed about it for a long time, and haven't actually told anyone in my real life. Why? To be honest, I don't know where this desire fits in with my personality and all the other pieces of my life. It is certainly part of who I am, but it's also very different from who I am. I'm probably not explaining it very well, sorry. I've never been mermaiding, and don't even know if I would consider it. I was bullied a lot when I was younger, and I think it has made me very reluctant to bring attention to myself, even now as a young-adult. I secretly hope that I'll make a mermaid friend in real life. I think that might give me the courage to explore it. For now though, I'll have to be content with imagining, drawing, writing little stories, and dreams (I've dreamed of being a mer a few times. It was amazing!).

[MermaidBrittany]

In all honesty, I have sort of thought about it as "coming out" so I totally understand where you are coming from. Everything just sorta built up on itself. First it was an Ariel collection, then dolphins, then mermaids, then a monofin, and then my first tail. I am still very embarrassed when talking about it to a group of people though, I know i shouldn't, but I am :/ I am very grateful to have someone who fully supports me in everything mer I do. She is my step-grandma (but to me she is Sammy :P) But she is the coolest grandparent ever! But as far as my friends, my BFF accepts everything about me so I am good with that. :)

I too am having trouble finding where it fits in with "me." Its rather funny actually because I'm the tough girl that no one messes with, I don't take crap from anyone. But this obsession with mermaids is kind of a vulnerable underbelly for me that only a select few get to now about.

[azaiya]

Thank you for sharing that, Brittany! I'm glad I'm not alone with figuring out where it fits. I think is is courageous. It requires a kind of bravery to exploring mermaiding and have the willingness to share it with a handful of people, or even just one person.

All of you make me feel a little less alone in this : )

[Mermaid Syrena]

I came out to my parents yesterday.
Well. It's the OFFICIAL coming out. I currently have a Magictail, which they tsk-ed over but basically accepted... but yesterday I let slip that I'd be getting a full silicone tail, they asked about the price, ...and they hit the roof. I love my parents and they're great, but they're the uber conservative type.

I'm sad, now, that there's a rift between us because of this issue. I'm trying and have tried to explain to them that 1) this is an innocent dream, it's not like I'm spending the money to do something dodgy, 2) I'm saving for it myself, they don't have to lift a finger, and 3) It's my dream, and I'm working hard to fulfill it. They still don't see it, though. They tried to make me get my deposit back, but no way I'm doing that. This is pretty much the first time in my life that I've wanted something so much, and have made active measures to go and get it. Years from now, I KNOW I'm going to look back and value the time I chased my dreams, defied expectations and constraints, and became a mermaid!
I'm just praying it gets better with my parents. I really value their support, and I hope that soon they'll be able to see that this isn't just a "flight of fancy".

[Mermaid Dottie]

Why don't you show them some of the mers in the community that are making money off of this? Tell them it's like becoming a disneyland actor (because that's what it felt like to me!) and that you hope to entertain and make people happy with it. if they still don't get it, they'll just have to wait and see the masterpiece you'll wear in the water, and then you'll take off like a shark and they'll be left in awe of your brilliance.

[Mermaid Syrena]

Dottie, the ending of your pep talk is so sassy. I love it. Thank you. <3

[Mary Marine]

If gays come out of the closet, and witches come out of the broom closet, do mermaids come out of the water closet? Ba dum TSS!