Body Image in general and as a mer (share your story)

[AniaR]

So, body image is a topic that comes up quite a bit for many of us female mers (I'm not sure about you males!) as many of us struggle to feel confident in our own skin. A mermaid tail leaves little to the imagination when it comes to your body, and I think many of us have received at least a few hateful comments in our time. Many of us turn youtube comments off because of it too. So I wanted to share 2 things with you and open up a conversation.

First:


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TfbEqqGtbnE

Second:

I started this conversation on my own FB page https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=477406592294089&set=a.183334358367982.40273.183327321702019&type=1&theater over this image:

https://sphotos-b.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-snc7/423595_477406592294089_1783621557_n.jpg

I'm a bit painfully aware of my body, and take a lot of steps to make sure it looks nice in photos at the least. My tail comes up very high as people point out. My stomach can range to a variety of shapes and sizes thanks to my illness. I am more comfortable covering it with my tail and not thinking about it. If I stand up and suck it in- then yeah it can look what society thinks is "flat" or "thin". But let's be honest, I'm not walking around all day sucking my stomach in, and all bets are off when you sit down- sucking in or not most women get a bump.

Now, my BMI is perfect. In fact, it ranges to underweight at times. Is obesity an issue for me? No. Not in a health way. But I have had people say to me twice now, that since I am a role model to young girls I should work on my body image to be one that is more "healthy". Just like the woman in the video above. Their stance on healthy focuses on weight. While my stance on healthy focuses on all my illnesses that originate in my core and are affected by my core.

In both instances I said to the people something along the lines of, "you're so right! That's why I do physio therapy and take my meds, and encourage people to feel good about their bodies despite illness! Unfortunately there is no cure for my illness, so I'll have to deal from time to time with a stomach that flares up and gets big" Needless to say that shut them up. Both these people weren't concerned in the slightest about my actual health or weight. They just wanted to insult me and try and wrap it up so they could get away with it.

That kinda crap happens on the internet all the time. If you read the comments on my link I shared you'll see everyone turns to "you're not fat" but honestly, I am fat by some people's standards.. and what if I am "Fat". Does that change anything I've done? Does that change what I do? Does that somehow devalue who I am as a mermaid and a person? I think that's the point the woman in the video is trying to make.

We DO have pluz size mers in the community. Women who are working hard to be healthy and lose weight, but ALSO be comfortable in their skin. They really inspire me because honestly, I know I could look better... I'd LIKE to look better, but I also know I NEED to be happy with myself. If I allow the stupid online hate of others to be my motivation for trying to be healthy... I have a feeling I'll never be healthy. My motivation has to come from within. It has to be self driven.

While I try to watch what I eat to make sure I'm not getting too much sugar/fat/salt etc what I really have been working on is my core. Everyone seems to want the 6 pack or the abs etc the flat stomach... I was never able to have those or do anything that requires your core to be in any shape or form STRONG. My core has always been weak- even when my tummy was flat. This is due to my combination of illnesses and it causes a lot of pain and frustration in my life. I can't do a lot of the same tasks other people can, my balance is terrible, I get a lot of hip, pelvic, and back pain, and I'm always at the very bottom of any fitness type class I take. My mertender and I took tango lessons and for 3 years we stayed in the very beginning course because despite my hard work and effort I didn't improve. I couldn't move past because my balance was off, and my left leg was too weak and messed up all my steps.

To really get you to understand it I'll get technical for a minute here. It may be TMI so just warning you. I have IC which causes progressive inflammation and scar tissue in my bladder. I deal fairly well with it and my actual bladder doesn't ruin much in my life anymore now that I take meds. It's incurable. What does cause an issue is that for years having my pain my body has started reacting to try and protect itself. My pelvic muscles and core muscles constantly spasms in an attempt to "protect" my bladder. The same way you may feel your stomach in knots whenever you're anxious. I have scoliosis which while it isn't very visible without an xray, causes my left hip to be displaced and also too high. Since it's not lined up right my left leg is extremely weak. Like, comically so. Also, the twist of my spine and hip pulls all the pelvic muscles in the front to the left. so basically, grab your tummy and pull it different directions as hard as you can and that's what I'm feeling every day. My leg hurts, my core hurts, my hip hurts, my back hurts. Always. Even with pain killers.

I had tried everything I could think of to try and improve this. I got a personal trainer at the gym. We focused a lot on core stabilization but no matter how hard I worked I couldn't improve it. In fact, workouts would inflame my bladder or my surrounding muscles and I'd be in pain for days and sometimes even end up in the hospital. I thought I was doomed to never be "fit". Without your core- it's hard to get a lot of benefits from being active, and my leg wasn't getting any stronger.

I saw many nutritionists, a natruopath, a dietitian... nothing I did with my diet really improved the bloating/weight side of things. The meds I take for IC all have the side effects of causing weight gain too. So here I have a core that basically doesn't work, and keeps putting on weight. Well, enough was enough. I got every book from the library on my illness and related symptoms and started reading. Soon I was presented with another option. Physiotherapy. Not your typical physio- we're talking very specialized to my illness. 1 physiotherapist did what I needed in my city. 1. And after months on a wait list I got in.

For the first time in my life I could feel my core muscles working. My physiotherapist got me to actually feel which muscles were hyperextended, and which ones weren't. She taught me how to relax the stressed muscles, and work the ones that weren't being used. The workouts and stretches were strange, very individual to me, and not something people normally tried. But I started feeling a difference, I started feeling stronger. Everytime I went in for assessments I was getting better and better. And guess what- monofin swimming helped too! It forced me to position my hips and core the correct way so anytime I swam in my tail or monofin I was helping those muscles too.

The reason I share this with you, is because we never know what someone is going through. Honestly, I don't care if people call me fat, I know I've got some flub going on with my stomach and I know I'm working on it. But like the woman in the video I worry a lot about other people. We never know someone's story until they share it, we also never know how hard they're working to achieve their goals. Look how specific things needed to be for me in order for me to see a change? Well there are people out there trying to balance medication, diet, activity in a busy life... conditions always seem to need to be just right.

Well, I wanted to share with you the results. After months of physio, very basic yoga, changing my diet, and working hard... I still weigh between 135-140 but here's what I look like...

https://fbcdn-sphotos-c-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-prn1/564423_10152255960015425_501251966_n.jpg

For the first time ever... I am getting strength in my core. I'm getting definition, and if I suck it in I'm flat, lol. I can stand on one leg without falling. I can shift my weight from side to side without losing my balance. I can twist and turn without pain in my hips and back. I can swim better. I FEEL better.

I'm on a personal journey these days to be HEALTHY and to feel good in the skin I'm in. Since our community is still so small, we can shape the outcomes. We can set the standards. I want a community where people can feel good about their size regardless of what stage they're in. I want a community where people feel motivated and SUPPORTED to become healthy. I want a community where nobody feels like they shouldn't try a tail because of the way they look or see themselves.

Have you faced any personal struggles with your weight or health issues? Do those struggles impact your life as a mermaid/man? Please share your stories- even if your stories are in progress and not finished yet.

[Morticia Mermaid]

Mine is one of those that is in progress. I've been struggling a LOT with my weight over the last 2 years. I bounce between 170 and 150, but recently bounced up to 180 and can't seem to get back down again. I eat right and exercise when I can. But the fact that I have a job where I sit at a desk all day doesn't help. I love the water and I love swimming. my freshman year I ended up making varsity of the swimming team at my high school. That is the fittest I have been since I was 9 :$ I used to do a workout video 2 times a day when I was 9 (oh I wish I had that energy again) it was a navy seal PT workout video that was 2 hours long. I recently found it again and got it on DVD, but I lack the courage to even try to do it in my own house :( Having only 1 TV and a dad that is now stuck at home cause he can't work due to a back injury, makes me feel like I would be the new entertainment to watch if I tried to do the video while him and my mum are home. The times when they are not home is few and far between. I'm really hoping to make it to the pool more often. I've got a contact who is a dive instructor and he rents a local pool at least 1 night a week. He's already said its ok if I tag along with him. I am happy with who I am and the way I look, but at the same time I am a bit embarrassed by it and hurt by what people sometimes say

[Merman_Shawn]

Yes actually Mermen do face body issues as well. For example: I have been 125lbs since I was 16, I am now 28. Now I know a lot of people are going to say "What's the problem?!". The problem lies in the fact that according to media and society, to be perceived as a "real man" you have to have big rock-hard muscles. Now I work out, I'm on a special diet where I consume 3,000 calories a day(good food not junk), and I still don't put on any mass. It's so frustrating! I tone, but I don't actually get any meat on me. For a long time, I wouldn't take off my shirt in public ect...
Then something miraculous happened; I joined a shadow-cast production of the Rocky Horror Picture Show. In those three years I had to run around on stage in various stages of dress. Needless to say, that even though I don't look the way I want to, I'm not ashamed to show off what I have. Being plunged into the deep end like that, was something I really needed.

[SilverSiren]

First, let me just say, your lovely AniaR. You look pretty in both pictures. I'm so glad your working on your body to become stronger in a way that isn't just benefiting the way you look but making your body work for you. Your always very inspiring!

I used to have the body of a dancer. I danced all the time. This February, that all changed. I had immense pain on the left side of my back, like a hot electrified serrated knife, twisting deep into my muscles. I had to have an ambulance come get me as I couldn't get up and walk, breathing was a chore, and I was heaving from the pain (please, bear in mind I am a VERY storng and stubborn woman, I will bear a LOT of pain without complaint). I had x-rays taken and a lot of painkillers given (which only served to dull the pain a little, just enough that I could breath again). I had a 9mm kidney stone lodged in my urinary track. Wow, really? That's it?! So, I was scheduled to have a thin tube placed in the track between my kidney and bladder so that things could drain normally and then later come in to have it removed when my body healed up.

The next morning comes and I am taken to surgery for my tube.... I didn't wake up till four days later. The tube wouldn't drain properly. The stone had caused back up in my kidney along with infection. When it couldn't drain out the bladder, it went back into my body and I went into septic shock. My husband and friends where being prepared by the doctors for my possible death, I had a 50% chance to live, but hey, here I am! I spent weeks in the hospital. I was hooked up to breathing machines and had tubes coming out everywhere, including one that drained from out my kidney, out my back, and into a friggin plastic sack! I learned how to walk again as my body had become THAT weak. When I got home (with my lovely kidney sack till attached!) I took forever to get up the stairs when I went to the bedroom, I just couldn't breath, my body was still weak.

Fast forward 3 months. I have the sack, tubes, and stone removed. Unfortunately, I gained a lot of weight. Another few months pass and now I am dancing again. I'm doing P90X too. I've went down a pant size. I have only 15 more pounds to lose before I am back at my previous weight. I got two comments from friends I hadn't seen for about a month and they both said "Wow, have you lost weight?!" I can dance with my Husband again. I am aiming to have my dancers body back before next summer and I am strong enough to keep up with everyone now (people had to walk really slow for me).

It's not about my size though, I could be happy as a bigger girl too, but I'm a dancer, I want my mind and body to work for me in that way. It's what you want your mind and body to do for you. A better singer? A better artist? A better swimmer? Whatever it is, become strong. Cause like that lady in the video says, your more than just a number on a scale.

It's a hard road to become strong. It takes time and sometimes you just want to cry or give up but you just can't because it WILL come if your working at it, even just a little, everyday. I have had a set back for two weeks now and I am a little upset about it, I had food poisoning last week and now I have a cold, its not exactly my year for health! lol. But that's ok, frustrating, but it's ok. Next week I will probably be back to my old self again... and I will dance.

[AniaR]

Shawn, you're gorgeous. I know how media expects men to be but can I just say a lot of women find that gross? My cousin was the #1 body builder in Canada for a while. Love the guy, but he looked like a cow on steroids. my BF if pretty muscly, he's had a goal that he wanted to meet and now since he's 35 he wanted to push and see if he could get the muscle he always wanted. He's pretty close to his goal but I'm constantly on his case not to take it too far. I think you look awesome :) I know, it's one thing when other people say it we need to believe it ourselves. I'm glad Rocky has helped you <3 Thanks for sharing your experience. I never see men really talk much about it so it's great to have your perspective.

Lexia- I totally appreciate not wanting to do things around people. When I was at my sickest I was SO weak. It was mega embarrassing to do things around people. My family even teased me a bit not meaning to hurt my feelings but it did. So I can really appreciate where you're coming from there. Maybe try and incorporate walking more into your routine, maybe a few basic yoga poses in your bedroom, situps and stuff? I'm glad you're getting to swim more, that's great. I can appreciate that weight is a lifelong journey for many. I have friends who just like you, as a kid under 10 were working even then on their weight.

Silversiren I am so sorry you had to go through all that. While my illnesses are different I had similar experiences. I have spoken before about how mermaiding was my motivation to learn to walk all over again after being so Ill I couldnt! People don't realize how frustrating, embarrassing, painful, and depressing it is to have to recover from an illness or injury that is SO BAD you lose functions everyone else takes for granted. Like walking, or peeing, or holding something in your hand! I am so thankful to hear you're on the road to recovery and SO thankful you shared your story. I think sharing stories like this bring us all together and closer as a community. I think you put it into words much better than I did- but like you said, we're changing so we can meet our goals like dancing, singing, swimming- whatever they are! <3

Thanks for sharing you 3!

[Mer_Adella]

When I went into high school (freshman year) I was 163lbs. I was teased as being fat, overweight, all that other jazz. Right before I turned 17 (in my junior year) I came down with a 103 fever, severe back pain, and eventually I started urinating blood. I was rushed to the E.R. where they told me that my left kidney was shutting down and I was going into renal failure. After a long week of recovery, I only have 90% of my left kidney, i had lost 40lbs in one week (yikes!) and i found the cause. I was taking antibiotics to try and clear up my horrible acne. ONe of the side affects of the antibiotic was (drumroll) renal failure! my doctor had never even considered that when he perscribed it to me. Once I went back to school, all I heard down the hallway as I walked was "she had lypo" "sucked the fat right out of her. Wish the could do the same with the ugly" and blah blah blah. After a long time, I decided I didn't care. unfortunately i dont know If i will ever gain any weight back at all.

As far as men go, I told my boyfriend that if he ever lost his belly flub (not really a beer belly and not really fat, just sticks out farther than his chest) i would leave him. LOL that tells you what I think of the "washboard stomach". I look at it this way. Girls would you rather lay your head down on a guys whose stomach is hard as a rock and uncomfortable as hell, OR would you rather lay your head down on a stomach that you could fall asleep on?

[AniaR]

I think I know what drug it was, was it acutane or something like it? I heard there's high risk for a LOT of problems with that drug. A friend developed Crohns while on it. So glad you ended up okay. The nerve of some people, nobody could some up and ask you what happened. Geesh. I remember I was really sick my senior year and I went swimming with some girls who called me anorexic. -_- people can be so dumb

[Mermaid Margarete]

Wow. These are all very inspirational stories. Thank you so much for stepping up and sharing them!

I actually used to be a weight loss consultant so I've heard a lot of weight related stories and struggles and I usually break down in tears cause so many people have such a life long journey and so many personal obstacles to overcome.

I was a bit chunky as a teen - nothing of a terrible size, but I def wasn't that skinny, popular girl - however I was popular cause I was down to earth, in the top of my class and easy to talk to. I never really cares much about how I looked. My mom wouldn't let me wear form fitting clothes but I wasn't thrilled with my figure, so I didn't care that much. When I finally moved to Hawaii for school I was surrounded by skinny girls running around in swimwear and here I was desperately trying to find clever ways to cover up. After about 6 months of school I stepped on the scale and wanted to cry. I was at the heaviest I had ever been (162 lbs) NOW I know that isn't that much, but it was enough to inspire me to take my health and fitness seriously. I originally wanted a quick fix diet but while researching for one of those I actually came across this website that changed my life; sparkpeople.com. They have a food journal that opened my eyes to my eating habits and then their fitness tracker made it super easy to set up goals for being more active. My goal at that time was to be 135 by the time I went to Australia for a vacation. I made it to 138. I was so mad I plateaued at 138! I was exercising 3 times a day, a run in the morning, two hours at the gym, a run during the evening (all while going to school full time and working two part time jobs) and I still couldn't get rid of those 3lbs. I actually developed a few eating disorders including bulimia and under eating... and I STILL remained 138lbs... ( I now realize I wasn't eating enough to match my activity which is why I couldn't lose the last 3lbs, but I had no idea at the time).

Anyways, I went to Australia for my 2 week vacation and didn't care what I ate and gained a few pounds (so much for my eating disorders sticking around when there are delicious new foods to try XD). And then when I moved to Australia 8 months later I gained a few more pounds from such a drastic change in diet and activity.

I've been back from Australia for 2.5 years now and a few weeks ago I was sitting at 147lbs... and I wasn't happy. I haven't been watching what I eat (tho I do eat mostly "healthy" foods) BUT I hadn't been doing much activity outside of my fulltime desk job. I have been floating around 145 for years and I want to get back between 140/135 SO I started being active again. I've been taking ballet, going for a walk during my lunch break at work and NOW today I'm going to start swimming, again. I'm also trying to be even more mindful about what I put in my mouth - I have such a sweet tooth at times >.<

Getting back down there is more than just a number tho, I do local modeling have been modeling for 2.5 years. I did a photoshoot recently and I wanted to cry when I got the photos back... My stomach area was just not acceptable to me... I plan on doing another shoot in that same outfit, too...but after I loose a few pounds and tone up. I'm just way too out of shape by my own standards T_T

[SilverSiren]

I have to agree with AniaR Shawn! I find really buff guys kinda gross. Cut, defined and thin are all good to me. My hubby is a tall thin guy and he is sssooooooo shmexy! Not a defined muscle on the guy. He's a massive gamer, geekaziod, smarty pants and thats waaayyyy more sexy. I also have a thing for guys with glasses. So, really, that whole buff guy thing really isn't doing it for me personally. And AniaR is right, your a hottie.

Thank you AniaR for your support and sharing your story as well. I think also it's more mentally taxing than physically. It was so frustrating that I wanted to break down and cry all the time... and some days I did (coupled with the urge to turn into the hulk and smash everything out of anger and frustration). It can just be so... infuriating. You look at yourself in the mirror and think "When will it end? Why is this happening? What did I do to deserve this?" And the answer, when you are thinking clearly, is - Someday. Because sh*t happens so we can appreciate the good even more. Nothing. Doesn't make it suck any less at the time though! lol.

I love everyone's stories. It's inspiring. It's so awesome happy good times when people realize they are so much more.

[telzey.amberdon]

Lightweights. I weigh over 100 kg. I have biked for an hour a day, martial arts 4 times a week, dieted 2500 cal. All I got was mean. Just go with the weight and if your health is good, learn to live with who you are. And in water, mers don't weigh anything at all.

[New York Mermaid]

when i got married i was at my lightest 128lbs, after my surgery and a miscarriage i ended up at 165lbs and that is the heaviest ive been. And that includes my thyroid issue which makes it so much harder to loose weight.

Im now at 157. the only thing that bugs me is i do have a little roll and in some photos look pregnant..lol but Im working hard, I got the perfect pullup which i do every other day to strengthen my arms and my core, it moves into three positions and i also do a bit of dance central /just dance (got to get my cardio in) for 2 hours at least 3 times a week. Thats about it for the moment, i have to be careful to because if i work out to hard my lung begins to burn. this is do to the lung surgery i had a while back, if i over exhert myself It feels like that lung is on fire.

[Blondie]

I read an article in Glamour magazine about them slimming down La Naissance de Venus with photoshop. Then they took a survey with men on their opinion on which was more attractive.

http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2012/02/08/article-0-11A2C896000005DC-979_634x195.jpg

I can't remember the exact number off the top of my head, but it was something around 80% of the men favored the unedited "bigger" woman. And I was pleasantly surprised with this answer. As a kid growing up, I was ABSORBED in what models looked like. Even though I was just eleven I wanted to look like that. I would bike a lot and pace around the house, hell I even calorie counted a little as a kid. Which makes me sad when I look back at it.
Still today I have that "perfect" picture in my head. I'm 140 lbs myself but I want to go back down to 135/130. But that's my opinion. As long as you yourself are happy with your body, who the hell has the right to tell you what you look like? Just don't care because it's a waste of your time.

[Mermaid Azira]

I have been sick this whole year. First, right after my birthday, I got really bad mono. (I missed four months of school.:() Then as soon as I was getting better, I got a concussion. It being my fourth concussion, I was really sick the whole summer. I could not walk with out falling down and crazy dizzy. Just getting better now, but a whole year of being sick and not being able to exercise frequently I gained weight.

[AniaR]

Im now at 157. the only thing that bugs me is i do have a little roll and in some photos look pregnant.

That's what I get when I sit. lol I call it my buddah belley.

For the record Lanai, while I have never said it publicly, I think you are the ideal mer body. You look curvy like a healthy woman, not too thin, but not too heavy either. You have a very pinup model figure. Your photos always make me happy too because of how smiley you are. It's infectious. I have chronic "mean face syndrome" in my photos. lol working on it.

I'm very sorry to hear you had a miscarriage too :(

[Mermaid Lorelei]

Please forgive me if I end up writing a book. I'll try to keep this short.

First, thank you Raina for starting this. It's definitely a sore subject for a lot of people and almost everyone has some sort of body image issue.

So, here's my little story. I've always had problems with my body. My weight, for one, but I've also had to deal with things like asthma, a distended stomach at birth, insistent stomach issues, and newly diagnosed chronic depression, panic attacks, and anxiety. My asthma will unfortunately never go away. I can work through it and train my body to respond differently, but it will always be in the background threatening to take my breath away (literally). Just recently we (my doctors and I) think we have finally figured out what is wrong with my stomach. Mind you, we've been trying to figure this out for 20 years. And then on top of it all, I've been overweight for practically my whole life. At my largest, I hit 175. I'm currently at 153, but I'm working my way down to 140. From past experience, 135 is my target healthy weight. Anything less and I look kind of sick.

Anyways, I think I'm probably getting off on a ramble. I mostly just wanted to say that I understand completely how you all feel and I urge you to find yourself and your personal beauty before listening to a lick of the world around you. :>

[Mizuko]

I've always struggled with how I look. My older sister was the embodiment of beauty- she was model-like, perfect hair, perfect clothes, etc. I was a tom-boy until about 15, where I hit the dreaded awkward teen stage. I never felt good enough in comparison. It was hard growing up being known as the 'sister of that pretty girl'. lol. I lost a lot of weight because of it when I was 16- just stopped eating as much. It may have been 'baby-fat' as I've never put it back on, but I still dont feel pretty enough most days.
Although two years ago I meet Michael, my partner, and he's made me see my body in a completely different light. I feel beautiful when I'm with him. It's really changed my view on myself- I dont care about losing weight, I only want to be fit and healthy. I dont weigh myself either; muscle is heavier than fat so I know I'm heavier than I was as a teen but that's because I'm stronger too. I still struggle, but its been easier.

[happyguava]

You guys are so inspiring. You've been through so much and you don't lose hope... It's completely amazing to me. Thank you for sharing your wonderful stories.

I feel really guilty now, for hating my body and myself and the way I look, but never having had some horrible disease to cause it. Yes I am overweight in most people's eyes. I have a mental illness and have been on pretty gross medication that made me put on heaps. I also binge eat as a coping mechanism. A lot of people would therefore say it's my fault that I'm overweight... I still don't know what I think.

Anyway, the bottom line is I'm fat and it makes me feel bad and I need to work on undoing it!!

[New York Mermaid]

That's what I get when I sit. lol I call it my buddah belley.
Lol trust me even out of tail im asked, "are you FINALLY PREGNANT (after 8yrs of marriage)".. Um no.. just love to eat tasty food!


For the record Lanai, while I have never said it publicly, I think you are the ideal mer body. You look curvy like a healthy woman, not too thin, but not too heavy either. You have a very pinup model figure. Your photos always make me happy too because of how smiley you are. It's infectious. I have chronic "mean face syndrome" in my photos. lol working on it.
I'm very sorry to hear you had a miscarriage too :(

Why Thank you Raina! You know i always wanted to do a pin up photoshoot. Im going to wait till i tone up a bit more, I have a gorgeous dress im planning on wearing if i do this shoot. But going back on my weight issue, its just that ALL the women in my mother's and father's side of the family are heavy my older sister as well she's close to 300lbs.. Im trying to keep myself in a good weight and keep toned (but been a bit lazy lately). LOL on the mean face syndrome .. no you look like your in- deep thought. :D . Im always a smiler the NE Pod knows that. Im glad I can make everyone smile - see now im smiling. (Hmm a good way to get you to smile, think back to the day you opened your new tail)

As for the miscarriage, well it wasnt an expected pregnancy (I actually found out i was pregnant the moment they told me i was having the miscarriage, when i personally thought a cyst popped which caused the unbelievable pain. my hubby and i were just 6 months into our marriage. I was also recovering from a surgery as well. Yeah i went through the emotional hell with it and took it out on my body (eating your feelings). But went to therapy and all that. Im fine with it now. I guess with all the work im doing with helping animals and working with kids, thats all the "mothering" i feel i need to do. believe me with the health issues i have on and off, my husband says adoption is the way to go. and i agree. when it's time we will have a little one of our own to love and care for.. but for now i got 3 birds to love and a puppy (who will be here in december).

[AniaR]

Anyway, the bottom line is I'm fat and it makes me feel bad and I need to work on undoing it!!

I think we all have underlying issues that contribute to our weight and body. Mine is sickness, like a few people here, and yours stems from mental illness, like many other people here. Any kind of depression, anxiety, OCD or any other related personality disorder can make it impossible to have a healthy body.

I think you're all amazing men and women, but I feel so sad that we're all facing such intense personal struggles. I'm glad I started this thread, it's good to look at issues like body image for both women AND men. It's good to talk about illnesses we face INCLUDING mental ones. We are mernetwork, emphasis on the NETWORK. I think we focus a lot on the MER and sometimes not enough on the network. We are a network of support for each other. <3

I'm thinking maybe we can do a related thread on mental illness like depression, ocd, anxiety, personality disorders, learning disabilities etc. I think it's good to see the struggles we all face, it validates us to know we're not alone. And then we can be a support network for each other.

Also, I think we just blew the skinny minny mermaid stereotype out of the water :)

[Moongazer]

I'll add more when I get back.

Well let me say, "I'm not the only one! yay!" I'm sure we all think at some point down the road, "why is it only me"? I've just recently found out that 3 close friends of mine all have 'girly' problems as well and its such a relief to have someone to talk too. And now a whole forum, haha.

Anyways, I have a chronic illness called emdromitriosis. It's where the lining of your uterus grows in the wrong places, causing pain. there are verifying degrees of this and I just happen to have a severe case of it. I have period cramps almost every single day. Like... Think of the worst cramps you've ever had and then imagine that for the rest of your life everyday. That's what I have and have gone through for 3 years now when it decided to flare up.

I also have ovarian cysts (Or had, they are gone now but will return if I stop taking the pill). This was indeed painful as the ones I had where too small to remove and big enough to be a painful problem. IBS on top of this doesn't help either.

Anyways emdromitriosis is an incurable disease. The ONLY ways to get rid of it are... To have a baby or have a hysterectomy, and even having a baby it usually comes back within months to years. So no guarantees. Yes you could 'burn' the lining (Literally) but after 5 years it grows back (Natural healing and all that). So, after having been to the hospital more times then I can count for painkillers and such, my work has given me the opportunity to work from home, but after finding out what I actually have, I might not ever be able to go back.

It's a terrible feeling, to not know if your work will keep you or not because you can't cure the thing that is making you sick. It's part of why I took up mermaiding when I found out it was a 'thing'. I've always wanted my own business and now, here it is. Yeah, I've only just gotten things together in the last 3 weeks but I think having over 50+ likes on my page so far is pretty good.

I'm basically stuck on painkillers for the rest of my life, until I have that surgery. So yeah. That's my story. ^^

[Merman_Shawn]

Don't misunderstand me, I *don't* want to look like this:
6853
I'd rather look like these guys:

[happyguava]

I think we all have underlying issues that contribute to our weight and body. Mine is sickness, like a few people here, and yours stems from mental illness, like many other people here. Any kind of depression, anxiety, OCD or any other related personality disorder can make it impossible to have a healthy body.

I think you're all amazing men and women, but I feel so sad that we're all facing such intense personal struggles. I'm glad I started this thread, it's good to look at issues like body image for both women AND men. It's good to talk about illnesses we face INCLUDING mental ones. We are mernetwork, emphasis on the NETWORK. I think we focus a lot on the MER and sometimes not enough on the network. We are a network of support for each other. <3

I'm thinking maybe we can do a related thread on mental illness like depression, ocd, anxiety, personality disorders, learning disabilities etc. I think it's good to see the struggles we all face, it validates us to know we're not alone. And then we can be a support network for each other.

Also, I think we just blew the skinny minny mermaid stereotype out of the water :)

<3

[AniaR]

Haha no worries Shawn, we got you.

Moongazer I have concerns that I've developed endo and I can't get the doc to test me for it. In 75% of cases of women with IC they develop endo. I have a terrible pain where my sternum is, that starts the last day or so of my cycle and I swear it's spasming the same way cramps do- just a hell of a lot higher. I've been to the hospital with it- no pain killers touch it, I've tried most birth controls out there... the highest level progesterin stopped it for a bit but it came back. I just decided to stop birth control pills because the side effects from the BC have ruined my life in some areas. I have new problems that developed from taking BC that are way too TMI for a public forum. I have a hard time talking about the issues even with friends. But I'm so frustrated with the doctors, I waited a year to see a specialist and she didn't want to test me. :( I really HOPE it's not endo, but we've ruled out everything! ugh bodies are so frustrating :( it's also something that contributes to my abdomen swelling.

[AniaR]

pssst, Shawn. My cousin... on the right ;)

http://www.nbpfa.com/old/articles/canadians_05/DSC_0151.jpg

LOL Love the guy, but not my thing...

[Mermaid Lorelei]

^That's your cousin? ... That's just a bit too much for me. I like men with muscle, but I don't like the hulkish look...

[Ashe]

geez! Wait, is that really your cousin Raina? Wow. lol! <3 >O''

[Felicia]

I personally think society is a bit crazy with the "you must be skinny to be pretty" thing or the muscles for guys (I much prefer a slightly "cuddlie" guy aka chubby lolz). I get called fat quite frequently even tho I'm 5 8 and 110-115lb which I think is tiny (I wish I could gain a bit but I can't ever seem to) hell I even wear xs to m(however m clothes fit very very loose around my stomach tho I usually wear m because I have a D cup and xs/s is doesn't have much stretch usually) and a size 2 pant in juniors but apperantly I'm "FAT"..... It's like really now people how tiny do you want me to be.

Anyways tho I think plus size models are amazing, their beautiful, curvy and I love that they are willing to put out the message that you don't have to be tiny to be beautiful. We were all made diffrent and we are all beautiful in our own way, labels like fat or ugly should not bother us (besides the people that say those thing are either jelly or get bullied too) So we just need to be confident ad push the labels aside

Also Raina you look amazing as well as the rest of you Mers!!!

[Moongazer]

Raina: I have NO idea how many birth control pills I've tried. I'm sooo sensitive to the dosages of stuff. Either it affects my mood/emotions so extremely, doesn't work or doesn't work enough. I just started a new one 1 months ago, so we'll see how this goes. So far it's all right, still have pain but at least it's lessened. I would honestly stop taking BC but the fear of having the cysts come back on top of the endo just makes me cringe so badly.

Morphine was the only thing the doctors could give me and then they prescribed a painkiller for when it's super bad and the painkiller is banned in Britain. That's gotta say something. So yeah.

And with all this med jumping and pain, working out is so difficult. I used to horseback ride all the time but as the pain got worse, using your core was just... One of the worst things ever. With the mermaid tail I got, it's actually not so bad, mainly before I use my knees more then I should but I'm easing myself into it.

If you ever need someone to talk to about doctors and how specialists are fuck ups, let me know. My GP is amazing but all the 'specialists' I need to go to are asses. I went to a 'colon' specialist because my colon is bloated all the time and she just said, keep changing your diet and it should go away. Yeah my GP was not happy when she said that. And I need ultra sounds for a cysts on my shoulder but I can't get them until I see a dermatologist and all the ones I've ever been too in my life are jerks and don't care. So we'll see how this new one goes.

[Mermaid Fenicia]

They've always been calling me lazy and fat and been telling me not to eat as much sweet thing. :(
* First off all I'm not lazy but get tiered very easy as it's 1 of the medical problems that I have
* Second, I gain weight from stress events that's why I'm not aloud to work. Now that I moved in with a very good friend (my boyfriend) I finally can relax and work on my hobbies. And I lose weight now, but very slowly.
* Third, I'm totally not a 'sweet-tooth', but need sugar to keep me going. Doctors orders.
* Fourth, I love to dance, but my legs don't want to dance anymore. So no more dancing for me :(

[spottedcatfish]

I am generally comfortable with my body shape and size. However, for me it's not so much about the weight, ideally I would like to lose some of it, but I am not basing my goals on weight alone. For me, I am trying to get my measurements down. On some days I can be very self conscious about my body and image. But, mermaiding and swimming in general has helped me become more comfortable with my body and with wearing a bathing suit. I plan to keep swimming at least 2x a week or more, and try to make it fun and different each time, so things don't get boring. I guess I'll include active mermaiding events in there too!

[Coradion]

Umm... well on this topic I guess gay world is a bit more vicious. I've gone from 245 to 170 and I'm 6'1" and I still feel fat. Goal is perfect six pack of which I know have the top four. I'm all for being comfortable in your own body, but I'm definitely not. I do performance pole dance and used to swim and play water polo so I'm very used to being near naked in front of large groups of people, doesn't change the feeling that I can/should do better. I don't need to talk myself up at all, I just have to work on it, that's the only way I feel good. Workout every day in pursuit of what I feel is my perfection. Anything less and I won't be happy with myself. Which is okay, I've had people tell me I look great, frankly though I don't care how other people feel about my body. I want to be thinner and have better muscular definition so that's what I will work on.

[Mermaid Narina]

MY STORY IS OPPOSITE MOST PEOPLES. IM TOO THIN. My whole life, people have always teased me for being too thin. Strange isnt it, how you can be called "fat" or "anorexic" (im most definately NOT), and theres not alot of room for an "inbetween".
"Your so fat, your so thin. Wow, your flat chested. C cup? Thats my mums size. You have big feet. Your face shape is weird. Too tall . Too short. Funny teeth. Big arse. Bony arms. Fatty thighs...... The list goes on. These things are said to people every day, theres always SOMETHING thats not good enough.
I have never worn a bikini in my life. In fact, I have always worn a uv shirt and board shorts on top on a tankini and watched "perfect" girls look great at the beach.
But when I got a tail, I was kind of forced to change. A fabric tail really shows your leg shape, and a mermaid cant be wearing a uv shirt- it looks silly. But my tail gave me confidence. And thats the key really. Anyone who has confidence and personality can look great- and feel great. Im not so obsessed with trying to PUTON weight anymore, because I have accepted that im never going to have curves. Im not going to grow shorter. I wont get big boobs or great legs. And thats cool. Because if you look in a mirror for long enough with a positive attitudd, you can point out your g ood features. And thats whats important.

And to all the guys out there: not everyone loves muscles and hard abs. Me, personally? I like a sweet face. your body shape doesnt matter if you are confident...

[SilverSiren]

I feel you on the too thin thing too! When I was at my height for dancing I was thin, but VERY muscular (for a girl at least). I was tone from head to toe and had the perfect dancers body. Still, my mom would tell me I'm too thin and I had friends who would either ask me or admit later that they thought I was on drugs or had a eating disorder. There's a difference between looking like your on drugs or having an eating disorder compared to either naturally thin or just very fit. One looks healthy, the other looks like your just plain sick! What we should all take away from this is that the media sucks, mirrors lie, and people will judge you for ANYTHING they can find, so just stop caring and be exactly who you are and want to be without a single care for anyone else opinion!

Why do we allow all this to get to us so much?! It means NOTHING! It's all just rain drops. We can either sit and wish it wasn't raining and feel all sad about it oooorrr we can accept the fact that it's raining and just be happy anyway. Every time you hear someone say something judgmental about someone else, say something! Tell them they shouldn't judge because it makes them look ugly and insecure and they should be ashamed of themselves. They'll think before they speak next time. And when you do it yourself? Try writing it down on a piece of paper then writing down 5 things you think are good about yourself next to it. Tell yourself these things ALL the time, add more to the list, and soon you'll see the good more than the bad and the bad just becomes a rain drop, harmless and small. We all need to be not only nicer to others but nicer to ourselves. <3

[SilverSiren]

Oh, one more thing. If anyone here actually has a serious problem with eating disorders or drugs, then please, love yourself, get some help. There are better things out there, you just have to see it, and there is no shame in asking for help. If anyone judges you for it, then they obviously need some help too.

[SilverSiren]

Sorry to be a post hog but I found this (http://www.lifereboot.com/2010/10-things-i-wish-someone-told-me-10-years-ago/) and thought a few points were really good in relation to body image.

[Mermaid Lei Loni]

I just posted something on my blog about this.....it's a little long, but I had a lot to say! If you're interested in reading about it here's the link: http://memoirsofmermaidleiloni.blogspot.com/

I'd write more, but the blog is fairly long. I'm a firm believer in loving yourself and being happy in your own skin, whatever it looks like. I believe that everyone is beautiful and unique, and that your pant size doesn't determine your beauty. :)

[NerineArcticMermaid]

So.. Ive only told this to a few very close friends..

In 2001 I was 135lbs. Very healthy very active. I rode a bike most places.. Didnt have a car. I had jsut started dating my now ex fiance. (3months together at the time)

I had gotten really sick with a the flu.. and thought that my weakness and no engery and constant all day nausea was just the remneants of the flu. I hadnt had a regular period for sevearl years and had been told at one time I was unlikly to ever have kids.

So I hadnt thought anthing of the nausea. The only thing that helped was constant eating. I slept downstairs because the walk up to the second floor where my room was... well i never made it more than 5 steps up..

When I hadnt gotten better after 2.5 months I finally decided to take the test.. and yes... it was positive..

I went to see a specialist about my condition. It was 11yrs ago now and i dont remember the name of the actual problem. I had 2 choices... Me or the baby... Had I carried to term I only had a slight chance of surviving. So I decided the risk was to great.

At the end of this whole ordeal I had gone from my healthy 135lbs to 190lbs... and continued to balloon up to 220lbs in 2004.

When I discovered mermaiding(2009).... it was like a light in the darkness to me... I had just been diagnosed with type II diabetes in 2007 and was stuggleing to find a diet and excersize program I could stick to.

Well here we are in 2012 and I am down to 185lbs..

Im still a bit body modest but I am proud to mermaid. It saved my life.

[AniaR]

Aw, it kills me to hear you guys and girls all going through this stuff! Nerine I knew you struggled with diabetes but had no idea all these other things. Thanks for being brave enough to share them! And girls, I've seen the thin hate too. I experienced it when I was a teen which is why it's all the more hilarious that I'm on the other end of it now.

I'm so proud of everyone here for sharing, and for working hard to be HEALTHY. <3 Most of all I am proud we all support each other.

[NerineArcticMermaid]

Its not an easy thing to share given many peoples opinions about the choice i had to make.... wasn't easy... i always wonder about the little girl I could have had...( in my heart I know it would have been a girl)

[Mermaid Lei Loni]

Thank you for sharing your story Nerine. I'm so sorry to hear about that loss. You are such a strong woman! I don't know that I would have been strong enough to walk a mile in your shoes. :) I do wish you the best as you continue to heal.

I too am diabetic. I have type 1 though, so I'm on insulin shots. The hardest part about having a chronic disease like that is dealing with people that think I need to behave a certain way because of it. Since I'm a type 1 I have a little more flexibility in what I can eat. I pretty much function as a normal person, only I have to administer my insulin by hand. So it would drive me crazy when people would ask me if I should be eating that, or why I'm eating mashed potatoes instead of a salad. I got used to explaining to people about how my disease works and how my body works, and then I got to the point where I just said it was none of their business. But it's been really hard to deal with it. But it explained why I was so sick all the time. At one point, I had lost a whole bunch of weight and I was down to a size 12. I thought my body was healthy, but in reality I was dying. My body was so sick, that I went into diabetic ketoacidosis which is something that a type 1 diabetic can go into if they don't get treated properly. I was misdiagnosed as a type 2 diabetic about 6 months prior to going to the hospital by a doctor that made the assumption that because I was overweight (she was one of those zealous-healthy-weight-watchers kind of doctors) and had high blood sugar that I was a type 2. She didn't even look at what my lab results actually stated. And I know this because I brought them to my current endocrinologist and asked. In pretty much black and white my blood test said I was a type 1. That my disease was autoimmune and that I needed to be on insulin....not pills. Needless to say we ended up bringing a lawsuit up against the doctor for malpractice, since she didn't utilize my test results properly, and didn't order additional tests (when you're diagnosed as a diabetic they are supposed to order extra tests to make sure its not type 1)...even when I had told her for months that the pills weren't working and they were making me super sick. After that moment, I stopped listening to the media, and started listening to my body. My body told me for months that it was dying, and I didn't listen because I thought the doctor that wanted me thin was right...and she wasn't. What's been the most irritating is the assumption that because I'm fat (and I am fat, it's a description, not a put down!) that I deserve my diabetes. People tell me all the time that I'm not taking good enough care of my body, and that I should be doing something different so I don't have to have this disease. The problem? I have no choice. Fat or thin I will always be diabetic because of my genetics. That's been my biggest hurdle and blessing, because it's helped me realize that beauty is not skin deep. :)

[SilverSiren]

Its not an easy thing to share given many peoples opinions about the choice i had to make.... wasn't easy... i always wonder about the little girl I could have had...( in my heart I know it would have been a girl)

Your very brave. And others should keep their opinions to themselves until they have had to make such a difficult choice! I feel you made the right one because if I grew up not knowing my mother at all and that she gave her life for me... I think I would be pretty friggin depressed! That's just to rough on a kid. Yeah, you might have made it, but it sounds to me that the chances were slim and that if you did there might have been some long lasting consequences for both you and baby :( I'm also a very firm believer that a woman who takes such a choice seriously, has every right to make that choice, no matter what they choose/chose to do.



Oh, and Shawn? In the most polite and nicest way I can say.... shuuuuuttt iiiiiiiittt. lol. Your a DUDE and you make some models look Plain Jane! Well, everyone is entitled to their own "hang ups", and so are you... but your still pretty.

[Mermaid Narina]

...What we should all take away from this is that the media sucks, mirrors lie, and people will judge you for ANYTHING they can find, so just stop caring and be exactly who you are and want to be without a single care for anyone else opinion!...... <3

Exactly! <3

[NerineArcticMermaid]

Thanks you guys! I feel like something had lifted finally being able to share that...

I get the dame problems about my diabetes as well... people always questioning my diet...... the fat jokes hurt even more since no one really understands why I got heavy in the first place....

[New York Mermaid]

In general how mermaids are percieved vs "real life" mermaids (us)

We all know not all mermaids are skinny and "perfect", but in fact, we are the ones who make the fantasy into reality, despite our issues, we are beautiful in our own way.

[AniaR]

to be honest it drives me nuts when people- especially people who aren't involved in any form of mer-culture -tell US the MERMAIDS how we're supposed to be! I say to people all the time, "well how many mermaids do you know?". When I did my ask me anything on reddit- a community sort of known for taking digs at people, a person wrote "you're fatter than I hoped you'd be". The comment got so many downvotes the mods actually REMOVED the comment. I kinda replied jokingly that a mermaid tail leaves little the imagination.

I guess what I'm gathering from here is we all have stories to back up every part of who we are, how we look and feel, and what we do. We could be facing weight issues, health issues, mental issues, home issues, financial issues, combinations of those things... but mermaiding brings us all together unto our own unique world. I know Kae-Leah often talks about the mer-world in her story being a utopia. While we are far from a utopia, we do have some utopia qualities in that we work very hard to support each other, be kind, and non-judgemental. It's not easy by any means, and people run into drama with eachother- me being one of the worst culprits having been around a few years and getting involved with many things- but at the end of the day I do sincerely feel that we work hard as a community to be accepting :)

Thanks to everyone who shared their stories, and if you haven't yet and you feel comfortable doing so feel free! I know initially this thread was intended for body image but I think it sorta encompasses a lot. I certainly feel closer to all of you and proud to call you my online pod :D

[Mermaid Fenicia]

Thanks you guys! I feel like something had lifted finally being able to share that...

I get the dame problems about my diabetes as well... people always questioning my diet...... the fat jokes hurt even more since no one really understands why I got heavy in the first place....
I know your feelings, as it's the same with me. a few people at 4chan wrote: 'Fénicia has very nice outfits, but should not wear them herself as she is to fat to wear them'
So they do like my outfits, but not me :(

[Mermaid Fenicia]

:'(

[Ayla of Duluth]

I know your feelings, as it's the same with me. a few people at 4chan wrote: 'Fénicia has very nice outfits, but should not wear them herself as she is to fat to wear them'
So they do like my outfits, but not me :(
my advice would be to avoid 4chan...you won't get anywhere with them. I suggest sticking to reddit.

[Mermaid Fenicia]

@Ayla: I never go there but some of my friends do and they tell me they (not my friends, but the other people) are still talking about me on there :(

[SilverSiren]

I know your feelings, as it's the same with me. a few people at 4chan wrote: 'Fénicia has very nice outfits, but should not wear them herself as she is to fat to wear them'
So they do like my outfits, but not me :(

My advice is to just ignore them cause they mean nothing to you on a personal level. People who say those sort of things, thinking they can because they have a computer screen to hide behind, have far more problems than you do Fenicia! Your worth as a person is not weighed by your physical weight and therefore the ones who can say those things about you come out wanting and have to try to put someone else in the spotlight so they can attempt to distract from there glaring insecurities! I can't tell you how beautiful you are and I can't tell you how many times I thought a girl was gorgeous only to think she was hideous as soon as she went to open her mouth. Your weight has NOTHING to do with your beauty and some of the biggest women out there are some of the most beautiful! I mean really... has anyone seen Adel? (the signer) or how about Queen Latifia? If those girls lost weight, I don't think they would be as physically attractive, it suits them, they carry it so well, they're GORGEOUS! But what makes them so beautiful is who they are and the pride they carry with themselves. Keep your chin up sweety, have pride, have confidence, and keep being your sweet self, cause your more than just some numbers on a scale!

[AniaR]

It's hard to know when to ignore and when to stand up for yourself Fenicia. I can appreciate that "ignoring" ends up meaning you can't go to your favourite websites anymore etc. But I have found a lot of piece in simply making an effort to avoid things. For instance, people know I have an issue with mertailor, it's pretty common knowledge. So I try really hard not to look at his page unless their is a legit reason for me to. It's kinda dumb but the "out of sight out of mind" rule does work. I feel a lot better, and a lot less stress when I simply don't go to the website. But the temptation to just know what's going on, or in your case perhaps what people are saying about you can be pretty difficult to ignore.

Even celebrities cave once in a while. I was watching Ellen and she was saying how she tries hard to ignore celebrity gossip- but that she saw something pop up about her and her wife. It took something simple like them going out to dinner in matching outfits, and turned it into this whole big deal with all these stupid assumptions. So Ellen made fun of it on her show and had a laugh about it. You have to just roll your eyes at times about the assumptions people make. I have a few friends who are bigger and into costuming, cosplay, and clothing design. They've told me more than once they find it hard for people to accept them and take them seriously despite hours and hours of hard work on their designs. Saying that people often look at their size first and don't even realize the hard work they put into their costumes :( one girl even showed me an entire "you're doing it wrong" website about bigger girls in cosplay :(

Not sure if anyone watches South Park but they actually touched on body image as well as "lowering the bar" in regards to what is acceptable both in body image and behaviour of people. While South Park is known for being offensive I find their parodies actually have a good message. In this case, it was that we're almost too accepting of obesity, or that people profit off it literally by making money (their reference was to Honey Boo boo TV show) and making fun and thinking it's funny. So really, we need to be setting a standard of HEALTHY body sizes and lifestyles, and really stop having it be so acceptable to benefit from someone elses struggle. We live in a culture right now that everyone on the internet can become an "expert" on anything thanks to the ease of info, people can say whatever they want thank to anonymity, and a huge amount of entertainment both on TV and the internet comes from making fun of other people or looking down on them. This is an issue world wide in many areas, not just mermaiding.

Not sure if you saw Fenica, but I made a status that was inspired by this thread not too long ago. https://www.facebook.com/permalink.php?story_fbid=480411955326886&id=183327321702019 in other words: the people on 4chan who throw hate your way? They're going to do it no matter what! You could lose a bunch of weight and they'd find something else. So you can't live your life in any effort to make them like you, or prevent others from acting the same way. You need to do what makes you happy and being in a mermaid tail does! And you know what? When you go out and do your thing, it validates OTHERS who want to do it too! They see you and think, "she's doing it. I can too!" Just know, that just because someone says something mean about you, that doesn't make it true all of a sudden. I realized I was struggling with that too when it comes to certain people who say bad things about me. Just because they say it, doesn't make it true. YOU get to decide who you are :) Not them. <3

I'm really sorry you are still struggling with that 4chan experience. I hope you feel strong enough to not go on the site. They will be jerks whether or not you read what they say, so why not safe yourself the trouble and just avoid them. <3

[Mermaid Fenicia]

I'm really sorry you are still struggling with that 4chan experience. I hope you feel strong enough to not go on the site. They will be jerks whether or not you read what they say, so why not safe yourself the trouble and just avoid them. <3
I don't do to that site my self, but sometimes my friends tell me what they put on it.
I know those people who are saying bad things about me, are most of the time just jealous or don't know the truth about me (like those who tell me that I'm lazy as I need a wheelchair to go around fairs). I swim like a real mermaid and dive quite deep (about 5 meters), things they can't.
Most of the times I just ignore those people, but my boyfriend can't do that. He's afraid that someone will hurt me (or him) and not only with nasty words but with hitting and other nasty stuff. :(

[SilverSiren]

Well, said AniaR! Reminds me very much of this quote by Eleanor Roosevelt- "No one can make you feel inferior without your consent". Just gotta live your life, not for the future, not in the past, but right here, right now, in the present. Can't be like “folks who have one foot in the future and the other in the past and spend their time pissin all over today because of it.” - Stephen King... love that guy, so blunt, honest and to the point, even if he is a bit crass about it. lol

[AniaR]

best. quotes. ever, silversiren. <3

Fenica, you may have to do what I did and simply tell your friends you don't want to hear about that stuff anymore. Your friends probably feel like they're doing a good thing by letting you know, but you can just tell them you're trying to move past it so you don't want them to bring it up.

I think many of us have partners (boyfriend/girlfriend, spouses etc) that would very much like to smash people for treating us poorly. But if you are worried about someone ACTUALLY trying to harm you, it's a good idea to talk to the police. People don't think much can be done about online issues but what they don't realize is that most websites will do whatever the police ask when issued a warrant. All it takes for a warrant is threats of harm.

Keep your chin up! <3

[Mermaid Fenicia]

Thanks for the support Raina :). I've already told my friends that I'm not interested in those nasty comments, so they don't talk about them anymore :)
I told my boyfriend if someone really hurts me at an event or convention, I let the staff and security people know who did what. I already had to do that with an ex-friend (girl) who attack me (grabbed me at my throat) at a convention as she was jealous at me because of a LARP/stage-accident. I was very lucky 1 of the staff-members was there to see it happen, as most of the other people though it was an act. That girl now has a ban on being a steward at all their conventions and a warning for a full conventionban if she attacks again.

[SilverSiren]

Aww, thanks! <3 I just LOVE to talk to people and try really hard to keep them positive about things, much like you do AniaR. It's no fun feeling crappy about yourself, your life, your situation, whatever. This whole community has really proven to not only be a great and fun place to hang out but a positive and supporting place too. Your a inspiration to a lot of people and I really like that you start posts that get everyone a chance to open up, be honest, help support others or to just plain have a good fun conversation. This is the second post that you have opened that has let me express myself in touchy parts of my life, it's always nice to know your never alone.

[Kanti]

I actually agree with Natasha. I was actually teased a lot for being too thin. When I was younger people didn't
used to notice that much and they'd just call me short or something, but ever since highschool people have been
a lot more malicious with it. People would often tell me they were jealous that I was so skinny and they wish they
could lose weight, but then they'd turn around and attack me for it randomly for it. I was often called annorexic
which is really aggravating because I actually try to eat a lot whenever I can.
I was also almost ALWAYS targeted by girls, I can only think of one instance where a guy even mentioned anything
about me. I think it may just be that they viewed me as someone who represented society's idea of a "perfect" female
form so they may have subconsciously decided that they had to attack me for it if they didn't agree.
Not to mention skinny people don't get the "respect" that overweight people do. You're not really supposed to call someone
fat or it's considered rude, you don't really go up to a fat person and say "Man I really don't like how fat people look" yet
for some reason it's perfectly okay to go up to a skinny person and do those same things. "OMG YOU'RE SO SKINNY DO
YOU EVEN EAT?" or more commonly, when people come up to me and say things like "Bleh I hate the whole "skinny look",
it's so overrated and gross, I like girls who actually have skin and stuff". I guess it does hit a nerve with me, not because I
feel generally offended at the person's opinion, I'm more insulted that an overweight person's feelings are placed on a higher
pedestal than my own. That a person who wouldn't dare say anything like that to a fat person would just turn around and do it
right in front of me. Not to mention if I say anything they immediately jump the gun and say I must be shallow or something if
I'm insulted by being called skinny since it's favored by society.
I think it's really unfair that people even care about weight. Being overweight is just as dangerous as being underweight, people
should be more concerned about their health than their images. I know people who weigh twice as much as I do but their
cholesterol, heart rate, and metabolism are WAY better than mine. I guess it's just easy to judge people by how they look on
the outside. The fact that anyone would tease someone else about their weight is either because they themselves need to feel
better about themselves, or just that they want to get a rise out of someone.

[AniaR]

In regards to being skinny, I can't stand when I am browsing modelling photos and see ignorant commentators write "eat a sandwhich". Once a friend of mine who had cancer had an image featured on DA. People were ripping into her for being skinny and I couldn't help it, I told every single one of them off. People could be skinny for unhealthy reasons OR they could just be skinny AND THAT IS OKAY.

[Mermaid Azira]

I am really skinny and short. Its just how I am. I am healthy. But people have been mean. They call me anorexic because I can't eat any food anybody offers me because of food allergies. A couple weeks ago I was running in a sports bra and I ran across some boys from school. They said some really mean things. They said I stuff. To prove this one even tried to rip my bra off. And They were on bikes so I could not out run them.

[New York Mermaid]

people are downright mean, end of story, No one is ever happy with an image because they feel insecure themselves that they need to make fun of others to feel better about themselves, thats how bullying starts. I was always the quiet and shy one in school, i was ALWAYS picked on, i never said a word i never stood up for myself, I let it continue way into highschool i was always called "awkward, nerd, stupid, olive oil, walking stick etc", somewhere along the line probably between working at the aquarium and stress I "grew a spine" and told these kids off.. and i mean let them have it too. Im not a curser- if i ever curse- you've neared my breaking point.

But one day during a group activity, i never forget that kid he was mean as heck to me, always putting me down for whatever i did or what i wore and it made me feel worse about myself and how i looked to people. But I got mad and told him loudly "You dont know who i am or what i do with my personal life, you percive everything from what you only see in school. Until you know who i really am, until you've walked in my shoes. You cant talk about me. Your nonsense is just that. Nonsense. If you feel the need to talk about someone, how about look at your own insecurities and talk about yourself first, before going off on someone you dont even know." He stopped bugging me ever since.

I grew up quite a bit in high school, but i stood up for myself and kept on going. Sometimes people need to be put in their place. in a respectful manner, if they attempt physical harassment, go to the police. Its sad they dont realize not everyone is perfect, that not everyone is healthy and has to look a specific way to be called "beautiful". Its total BS. I wish there was a way to knock some sense into people. We need a Mermaid Public Service Announcement..

[Felicia]

I am really skinny and short. Its just how I am. But people have been so mean. They call me anorexic all the time because I can't eat any food anybody offers me because of food allergies. A couple weeks ago I was running in a sports bra and I ran across some boys from school. It was horrible I wear a d cup but I weigh 55 pounds. They teased me so much. They said I got liposuction and other mean things. They said I stuff. To prove this one even tried to rip my bra off. And They were on bikes so I could not out run them.

That's terrible I hope you messed them up

If this happened to me those boys would have broken noses, and NEVER feel safe coming around me again. But I'm a really aggressive person with a very very short temper and I'm not afraid to take people down even tho I'm smaller then them most the time

[AniaR]

I told a boy off in highschool once, only time I ever did it. Ever since I moved there he'd been teasing me, all through junior high, all through high school. Now, I may be quick to type on here but in real life I get to have TIME to think about what I want to say. In person when someone behaves so ridiculously I am often so surprised by their behaviour that I just look at them shocked and don't say anything. Every once in a while, the stars align so that I can make a witty retort or some sort of come back. It doesn't happen OFTEN. But when it does, it's golden. So, we're in math class, we get stuck sitting next to each other. The teacher asks us to be partners and he very dramatically says, "eww I don't want to be partners with that THING." to which I casually reply, "It's true Mr. Walsh, (insert name here) really doesn't like being around women. We make him very uncomfortable" (I had noticed he'd always pick on girls. This was grade freaking 12 mind you. So the guy is kinda shocked and tries to stammer out something but before he can get going I'm all, "no, it's okay, you don't have to say anything. Just let me move farther away I know how bad you feel when girls touch you." of course after each of my statements the class is roaring because I was NOT known for speaking out at all. He's getting madder, face turning red, and the Math teacher is surprisingly quiet and not stopping me. The guy tries to get something else out and I say something along the lines of, "oh sweety it's okay, you don't have to spare my feelings. If you don't like girls, you don't like girls." And I moved my chair as far away as I could and started working. When he started practically spitting that's when the teacher stepped in and told me that was enough. He got teased for the whole day for not being quick enough with me, and he NEVER bothered me, or ANY OTHER GIRL after that.

I know with my comments it may come across like I was speaking about his possible sexuality, I think that's what he was hoping people wouldn't think when he got all upset, but honestly the guy was always an ass to women. It was like he took so much joy in making girls cry, and this is an 18 year old! He even told me once it was his mission to make me cry (never did). I gotta wonder what exactly went on in his life for him to hate women so much. And really, to be that way still at 18? I feel really bad for him. Years later he's run into me and been a TOTALLY different person. respectful nice, kind. So whatever issue he had I think he finally got over it. I was just glad he finally shut up. lol

So high fin Lanai!

[MerEmma]

I'm thirteen and homeschooled, and luckily I haven't had to go through all that much about bullying or teasing or anything of the sort. I'm quite uncomfortable in a swimsuit, but mainly because I feel too revealed, more than I feel self-conscious. I've never been much of one to feel bad about my appearance. Maybe it's just upbringing. I have one girl whom I see a lot, everywhere I go, but most of the time she ignores me. She's called me a lot of curse words like a bitch and a bit worse. As well as a "poodlehead" (which I often get as an insult but it doesn't bother me because I get it more often as a compliment) but she's also a brownnose. One day at camp with her, she randomly said she liked my shirt. Since it's an art camp though, I was wearing my oldest shirt, a simple tie-dyed tshirt that was covered in paint stains. What mostly bothers me is when she threatens to hit me or my friends. I don't think she really meant it, because at my swim team my friend and I were planning a swim team party. As soon as she heard about it, she acted like she was best friends. I didn't want to spend four hours with someone who I really hated, I ended up not going to a party I planned over half of.

But I digress. I have posture issues--I'm often slouching horribly. I'd have scoliosis if I didn't go to a chiropractor who's against labeling all of her patients with it. :p I get a lot of people who will rudely tell me to stop slouching, but I know it's an issue, so that doesn't bother me overly either. But what does bother me is my teeth. I've never been to a dentist, and only had one cavity on a baby tooth. My teeth are fairly white, not gorgeous, but that's okay. But I have a horrible overbite, but when I fix it, I look really, really strange. I don't like it. Besides body image, I'm also fairly self conscious about my intelligence. I'm a really great reader and writer (so I've been told) and I can read an 800 page book in a day if I set my mind to it. I've had a lot of people tell me my writing is really good. But I'm so horrible at math and history, I can't remember much at all. I'm not good at memorizing things, so I often find myself in a conversation with a friend and it leads to history, and I have no idea what they're talking about.

I'm 5'3, 89 lbs. I've had a boy or two call me anorexic, but I'm really not. In BMI, I'm hovering over underweight, but still in healthy weight. My belly is pretty flat, I do have a "prominent" waistline, so I'm fairly pleased with that. But I don't really feel the need to be "sexy" or "hot" or even "attractive." I'd rather just be cute.:p So I believe that I'm okay. The main thing that I feel self-conscious about nowadays since I'm getting so much into mermaiding is how I just don't look like I could fit into the crowd. All the other mers I see have straight, nice hair and here I am with a q-tip for a head. xD I used to have long hair, but it got to be so bothersome and I really never liked having long, curly hair because it never really looked "nice." I love my hair, most of the time (even had a boy say it was amazing xD) but sometimes I just really don't like it.

And then, to show you why I'm called poodlehead...

6898
Annnnd for some reason the insert image thingy won't work. So I guess if you care enough click the links? xD

http://i1124.photobucket.com/albums/l571/ZeezZeez/P8110574.jpg
http://i1124.photobucket.com/albums/l571/ZeezZeez/P8060462.jpg

Annnyways, this was all pretty rambly and stuff...

[AniaR]

So cute Emma :) thanks for sharing! <3

[Kanti]

You know, the more I think of it the less I actually support the news anchor.
Rather than being offended she could take that person's letter to heart and assume that they were
just looking out for her. Maybe they just assumed that she didn't think her weight was a problem.
I did find it a bit rude of the way it was worded but I didn't find it bullying at all. I think I'd like someone
to tell me if they thought I was overweight. I don't find it offensive at all, I think it's a concern for
health. If they were really trying to bully her wouldn't they have done something a little more shocking
or rude?

[SilverSiren]

Heeeyyyy Emma! I have curls too! Curls rock! Yay for Mers with curls! I do straighten them sometimes but not often cause I would hate to cause permanent damage.

[Mermaid Narina]

I actually agree with Natasha. I was actually teased a lot for being too thin. When I was younger people didn't
used to notice that much and they'd just call me short or something, but ever since highschool people have been
a lot more malicious with it. People would often tell me they were jealous that I was so skinny and they wish they
could lose weight, but then they'd turn around and attack me for it randomly for it. I was often called annorexic
which is really aggravating because I actually try to eat a lot whenever I can.
I was also almost ALWAYS targeted by girls, I can only think of one instance where a guy even mentioned anything
about me. I think it may just be that they viewed me as someone who represented society's idea of a "perfect" female
form so they may have subconsciously decided that they had to attack me for it if they didn't agree.
Not to mention skinny people don't get the "respect" that overweight people do. You're not really supposed to call someone
fat or it's considered rude, you don't really go up to a fat person and say "Man I really don't like how fat people look" yet
for some reason it's perfectly okay to go up to a skinny person and do those same things. "OMG YOU'RE SO SKINNY DO
YOU EVEN EAT?" or more commonly, when people come up to me and say things like "Bleh I hate the whole "skinny look",
it's so overrated and gross, I like girls who actually have skin and stuff". I guess it does hit a nerve with me, not because I
feel generally offended at the person's opinion, I'm more insulted that an overweight person's feelings are placed on a higher
pedestal than my own. That a person who wouldn't dare say anything like that to a fat person would just turn around and do it
right in front of me. Not to mention if I say anything they immediately jump the gun and say I must be shallow or something if
I'm insulted by being called skinny since it's favored by society.
I think it's really unfair that people even care about weight. Being overweight is just as dangerous as being underweight, people
should be more concerned about their health than their images. I know people who weigh twice as much as I do but their
cholesterol, heart rate, and metabolism are WAY better than mine. I guess it's just easy to judge people by how they look on
the outside. The fact that anyone would tease someone else about their weight is either because they themselves need to feel
better about themselves, or just that they want to get a rise out of someone.


Kanti! Thats unbelievable!!! I have exactly the same thing! I have always wondered why there is a difference between teasing someone about being overweight or underweight. I mean, being called "bony" or "anorexic" really hurts.... when i was younger it didnt matter so much but since highschool everyone obsesses over body image etc. Like my familt members, especially my grandmother who is like "EAT MORE NATASHA!!! YOU ARE GOING TO BECOME ANOREXIC!!!!" I have eaten as much as everyone else but she feels the needs to point out my weight whenever i see her :(
I totally understand you Kanti <3
If anyone needs someone to talk to, Im available to chat with :$ xxx

[AniaR]

Yeah, I didn't actually think the letter was bullying personally, but I don't think it's anyone's place to send anyone a letter like that honestly. When you personally know someone and are concerned for their health then you have a CONVERSATION. Something that isn't one sided. But like she points out, the person doesn't know her, they point out her weight as if she didn't know about it and did nothing to change it. I do think the letter is inappropriate - but I'm not convinced it's bullying. It does read like an internet troll's writing for sure. And I do agree with the anchor that it's wrong that people think this is appropriate, and they speak this way to children. And people DO speak this way to children. Which is unacceptable because many children aren't finished developing the part of their brain that allows them to think critically- so they aren't always able to differentiate these things.

So yeah, I personally don't think it was an attempt to bully, but I do think it's an important conversation starter. I am glad the anchor responded because I hope it got families talking about body image and health with their kids.

[Mermaid Caidence]

Hey everyone, I'm 14 ( 15 in two months) and I'd like to share some things. I'm like 5'7" or 5'8" and 105-110 pounds. I know I'm perfectly fine for weight, but sometimes I just can't get rid of those feelings that sometimes pop up. You need a flatter stomach. You need to be less tall. Don't forget the "I wish I had bigger breasts". I'm normally the tallest person in all of my classes, but since I like to wear wedges it makes me even taller. Hey, I can't help it I love them. :p And since I'm in 9th grade, Im still taller than the boys. Not only this, but I have acne. Now, I hate it when people are all " omg a zit I"m going to die I've never had this before" and then they think my skin is fine because I wear concealor. Now, I started getting zits in fifth grade, so I assumed it would stop by now. One thing I've noticed is that they go away when I'm happier, which currently isn't too often. Especially since I just moved and don't have any friends. I think thats a big part of it. One other thing, is that I hate is when people sort of make fun of me. We had to make "what I do" memes. On the what I actually do, I showed a short video of me tail swimming, and everyone thought it was cool. One girl Cassidy, decided to start randomly saying hi to me throughout the next couple days. She's popular so I was kind of concerned, but I decided to start a convo with her. Didn't end well. A lot of awkward moments. She kept saying high for like the next 2 days and then stopped. I heard from my one friends that she was calling me mermaid girl. I really wasn't sure to be offended or not. I was mostly just offended that she was probobly was just dared to say Hi to the new person. Keep in mind is was only hi nothing else. Twice it was I like your shoes. Once it was how is your day going. I had honestly thought she wanted to be my friends. Who knows? Maybe she did, but she never made an effort to actually talk to me.

[AniaR]

Aww Caitlin. First of all, I want to say I am so happy that so many merlings are posting in this :) as you can see for us adults body image can unfortunately still be a struggle. I'd still say it was a million times worse when I was kid though. As far as being "Mermaid girl" go ahead an OWN that title! You are mermaid girl! The best mermaid girl around. She may still want to be your friend and not sure how to go about it. When I was 18 in high school my friends and I were all punky in our clothes and hair. Once I wore a hair band with cat ears on it. This was before that kinda stuff was big everywhere with cosplay etc... and a girl took to calling me "cat girl". I didn't let it bother me cuz let's be honest, I wore cat ears. lol.

I'm so happy to hear that you were brave enough to show your video! <3 As far as feeling insecure about acne- most people have to go through that at your age. At 26 I still get it if I get stressed out or don't eat right! Drinking lots of water will help and if your folks will let you taking vitamin e both as a pill, and then literally chopping it open and using the inside to make a facial mask for 15 minutes can REALLY help. I have learned some tricks in my days to get around zits ;)

And if you're not feeling well these days (you mentioned you haven't been happy) please know there are so many of us you can talk to!

[SilverSiren]

I feel you pain on the zit thing too! I am a acne sufferer. I will have it all my life, like it or not. I currently have found that pro-active does work for me, their sulfer mask is wonderful for pesky zits and breakouts (leave on a pimple overnight and the thing will be pretty much gone or totally gone in the morning). I seem to get used to the pro-active after a while using it so I flip over to a different regimen when that happens, which is, Olay Pro-x wrinkle cream... I kid you not. It seems that all the nourishing properties of the cream really help, plus it makes the skin shed off the dead stuff faster and keeping your face well moisturized can prevent your skin from freaking out and over-producing pore clogging oil. I will also use a good face wash with this, like the pro-active one. Twice a week, use a good face scrub, the finer the scrub particles the better, Olay makes a good one that is sold as a microdermabrasion (sp?) kit. Steaming your face either over a pot of hot water or a sink of hot water is good to do two to three times a week followed by your regular skin care routine.Please be careful not to burn yourself! Don't be stickin your face too close or make the water too hot, it should be a light steam. This should all help tremendously. Change your pillow case twice a week too. Last piece of advice, don't touch your face! I know you've heard it before, but you'll be surprised at how much we touch our face and don't even realize, try to be really aware of it sometime and you'll see what I mean. Pimples suck, but you can fight the little (insert bad word here). If this still doesn't work, then it's ok, your really pretty, so I doubt anyone notices but you! A LOT of people tell me that they are envious of my skin, I think "wtf are you going on about?!" but just politely accept the compliment instead of pointing out what they obviously missed, what they don't know can't hurt them.;)

[Mermaid Caidence]

Thanks you guys! :) You all have great advice. I've only been a bit unhappy, because I moved, but I'm sure that will blow over soon. My skin's getting better so I'm sure everything will be fine. :)

[SilverSiren]

Lovin this...

[Mermaid Bella]

im sorry guys but, i am overweight, i know i am overweight, i dont need someone to point it out for me. please dont assume that us bigger girls are oblivious to our situation, i think about my size every single hour of every single day. i have people constantly telling me that i should be discusted with myself. yes in this day and age of tolerance people still speak to us that way, i get people calling out from cars and yes sometimes children do it too, all because their parents are too ignorant to discourage this behavior.

i will never go to my local pool again as one of the lifeguards called me a fatarse to one of the other lifeguards when i was doing a handstand underwater, my best friend and boyfriend were right behind her, when we reported it to the manager he just shrugged.

i was reduced to a lower level of employment because of my weight, everyone else who does the same job as me gets permanant work and i have to go on contract, so they can give me the flick whenever they want, i have a physical job and lucky me, i am still very fit from before i gained weight, much moreso than many people i work with, i informed the people hiring during my interview of that fact but they still had concerns and keep asking me if i am 'coping' all the time.

i dont call people anorexic, nor does anyone else i know, generally we assume people are smart enough to know how much they weigh, and i am not a doctor, nor anyone who has the training or right to assume what size is correct for someone else.

if you were overweight, you wouldnt need someone to point it out to you, believe me.

who is to say that the news reader didnt suffer from an illness?? a teacher when i was in highschool had a car accident as a 25 year old and by 30 weighed 190kg all from the medication she was on.

i think the letter writer was ignorant and wrong, bully or not, just wrong.

[Mermaid Bella]

sorry if that was a downer, i didnt want it to come across as a lecture but it sounds a bit that way lol.

i just wanted to point out that fat does not equal dumb.

:D

[Ophelia]

Well, here, for the sake of not having to type it all again:

https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=514285281920047&set=a.254861641195747.81730.254857961196115&type=3&theater

this is my submission to a facebook group called the "This Is My Body Project." You guys might like it!

[inactive account]

People are really weird, One day I was walking on my way to the train stop and a women approached me and said “oh my you are very handsome young man” I then got on my train and this other person was like” ahahha look at your ears! they stick out, go get them pinned back, my brother did” and I was like :O , even when I was at school I was having a fight with this guy and he said “your nose is 'butterz'-(ugly in slang)” then I was out with some friends and this girl said “you have a really nice nose” so I was literally mind f*ucked. When I was younger I was large and insecure because everyone was saying I looked chubby, I go swimming every day for 3 years and now I am slim and everyone is like, “you’re so skinny, how are you not muscular if you swim every day?!” so I can never win :(

[SilverSiren]

People are really weird, One day I was walking on my way to the train stop and a women approached me and said “oh my you are very handsome young man” I then got on my train and this other person was like” ahahha look at your ears! they stick out, go get them pinned back, my brother did” and I was like :O , even when I was at school I was having a fight with this guy and he said “your nose is 'butterz'-(ugly in slang)” then I was out with some friends and this girl said “you have a really nice nose” so I was literally mind f*ucked. When I was younger I was large and insecure because everyone was saying I looked chubby, I go swimming every day for 3 years and now I am slim and everyone is like, “you’re so skinny, how are you not muscular if you swim every day?!” so I can never win :(

Haters gonna hate... that's why. Someone will hate on you just because they hate on everything, don't take it personally, cause it doesn't matter what you do, haters gonna hate.

[Merman_Shawn]

Oh, and Shawn? In the most polite and nicest way I can say.... shuuuuuttt iiiiiiiittt. lol. Your a DUDE and you make some models look Plain Jane! Well, everyone is entitled to their own "hang ups", and so are you... but your still pretty.

It's mostly because I'm so skinny, people ask me if I have an eating disorder... I mean, you wouldn't ask a larger person if they have diabetes... It's just rude.
I want to look healthy. That's really what it comes down to.
Thank you though Silver!

[Merman_Shawn]

pssst, Shawn. My cousin... on the right ;)

http://www.nbpfa.com/old/articles/canadians_05/DSC_0151.jpg

LOL Love the guy, but not my thing...

Oh my goodness! Not my thing at all, but if he is happy with how he looks, that's all that matters. :)

[Ophelia]

Ive been asked if I had an eating disorder many times, or even better, ACCUSED of having an eating disorder as if its something disgusting an contagious. And I also hate the back handed "compliments" and the attitude of "oh well you're SKINNY so you OBVIOUSLY don't know what its like to be insecure." >.>

[Mermaid Arianna]

I know how you feel Ophelia, everyone is always accusing me of being anorexic. My mom has been super worried about me since I became a vegetarian.I'm still eating, just not meat or fish. My cousin was hospitalized with anorexia so she is always freaked out and shoving food into my mouth. I wish people would stop it. I'm skinny not sick. And yes those back handed "compliments" are just great.

[Neria]

The thing that really bugs me is my height. I'm 13 years old and I'm about 5'9 or 5'10. I'm really not freakishly tall compared to adults, but most of the people at my school haven'y hit their growth spurt, so I tower over everyone. And it gets noticed. Every. Single. Day. And people ask me the stupidest things that just make me grit my teeth. "Why are you so tall?" is the most common one. Uh, gee, let me think about it... I DON'T KNOW! What do they expect me to say?!?! It is just sheer stupidity! People comment on every day. They aren't exactly making fun of me for it, which seems to make it worse because I can't call them out on it or else I will seem like the mean one. I want to just snap back at them, but I am known for being the nicest person at school and I don't really want to change that. I just don't know what to do, but it is driving me crazy and making me feel so concerned about my height. Any suggestions of what to say that isn't too rude, but will make people shut up?

[Mermaid Arianna]

embrace being tall. I'm not sure what you would say back, I'm 12 and 5'3 and still growing, regardless I'm still taller than most people at my school, and they ask me the same question. I haven't hit my growth spurt yet and I don't feel tall so I just say, "Why does the sun shine? Why does the earth spin?" stuff like that

[SilverSiren]

The thing that really bugs me is my height. I'm 13 years old and I'm about 5'9 or 5'10. I'm really not freakishly tall compared to adults, but most of the people at my school haven'y hit their growth spurt, so I tower over everyone. And it gets noticed. Every. Single. Day. And people ask me the stupidest things that just make me grit my teeth. "Why are you so tall?" is the most common one. Uh, gee, let me think about it... I DON'T KNOW! What do they expect me to say?!?! It is just sheer stupidity! People comment on every day. They aren't exactly making fun of me for it, which seems to make it worse because I can't call them out on it or else I will seem like the mean one. I want to just snap back at them, but I am known for being the nicest person at school and I don't really want to change that. I just don't know what to do, but it is driving me crazy and making me feel so concerned about my height. Any suggestions of what to say that isn't too rude, but will make people shut up?

Why not tell them "Well, because it's called genetics, I was meant to be this tall. All the famous super models are tall. It's good to be tall!"

[Mermaid Narina]

The thing that really bugs me is my height. I'm 13 years old and I'm about 5'9 or 5'10. I'm really not freakishly tall compared to adults, but most of the people at my school haven'y hit their growth spurt, so I tower over everyone. And it gets noticed. Every. Single. Day. And people ask me the stupidest things that just make me grit my teeth. "Why are you so tall?" is the most common one. Uh, gee, let me think about it... I DON'T KNOW! What do they expect me to say?!?! It is just sheer stupidity! People comment on every day. They aren't exactly making fun of me for it, which seems to make it worse because I can't call them out on it or else I will seem like the mean one. I want to just snap back at them, but I am known for being the nicest person at school and I don't really want to change that. I just don't know what to do, but it is driving me crazy and making me feel so concerned about my height. Any suggestions of what to say that isn't too rude, but will make people shut up?

i hate being tall too :( i used to subtly bend over to appear shorter, but i soon realised that it made me look introverted and awkward, and didnt actually make me look and shorter.
hang around tall people!! i hang around a group of tall guys (my school has mostly asains, who are all mostly short and petite), but when im around guys who are even taller than ME, it feel comfortable! remember to keep your shoulders back and walk confidently! there is sometimes a stereotype of tall/thin people being awkward or gangly, but if you hold yourself well, you are saying "im tall, and i love it", and it will make you so much more beautiful! My mum pointed out this girl in the shopping centre to me, and she was tall and thin like me, but she embraced it! She was wearing heeled boots and a skirt that showed off her legs (ive been insecure about my legs being too skinny for years), and she walked like a model on a runway. the thing is, her face was average looking, and her body was similar to mine, yet she was smiling and she looked 10x more beautiful than anyone else there.
People always say "embrace your body" and sometimes we forget that advice! remember, being tall means that people look up to you... literally ;)
<3

[Mermaid Narina]

...You need to be less tall. Don't forget the "I wish I had bigger breasts". I'm normally the tallest person in all of my classes, but since I like to wear wedges it makes me even taller. Hey, I can't help it I love them. :p And since I'm in 9th grade, Im still taller than the boys. Not only this, but I have acne. Now, I hate it when people are all " omg a zit I"m going to die I've never had this before" and then they think my skin is fine because I wear concealor. Now, I started getting zits in fifth grade, so I assumed it would stop by now. ..... On the what I actually do, I showed a short video of me tail swimming, and everyone thought it was cool. One girl Cassidy, decided to start randomly saying hi to me throughout the next couple days.

I hate being tall (tallest out of all the girls mean its awkward trying to hug short people. and hey, i hug everyone). "i wish i had bigger breast"? i was once in a group with this girl called May, who was like "truth or dare? everyone has to say what their bra size is." she was looking at me while i said it, and it was the most embarrassing moment of my lie -.-
i struggle with acne too, just when i feel like im overcoming it, it decides to become immune to all the products i use :L
and when i started posting pictures of my tail on facebook, there were several people who thought it was strange, but as it happens, its the BEST conversation starter!!! i have had so many message from people asking about it ^.^ the positives will always outweigh the negatives!!!!
its hard moving isnt it :/ you can chat to me whenever! <3

[Kanti]

I'd love to be tall! Or at least, taller than I am now. It's really a pain when you can't reach shelves in
stores or even in your own house xD But at least in my house I'm allowed to climb on things to get
to it. I'd have never thought anyone would be made fun of for being tall, or at least, I'd never seen it
before o_o One kid in my highschool was HUGE! Probably 6 10" or somewhere around there, he almost
didn't fit through doors he was so tall! But everyone was always really nice to him and gave him high-
fives and stuff. He was in a different grade than me, though, so I never knew what people may have said
to him during class and stuff.
I once wanted to join a fashion show in highschool and I couldn't make the cut because I wasn't tall enough
): They tried to tell me I was great but they only had so many spaces and they basically had no problem in
telling me I was too short. It was pretty harsh, they didn't even soften the blow, but at least they were
being honest, so I'll give them that.

[Mermaid Margarete]

I once wanted to join a fashion show in highschool and I couldn't make the cut because I wasn't tall enough
): They tried to tell me I was great but they only had so many spaces and they basically had no problem in
telling me I was too short. It was pretty harsh, they didn't even soften the blow, but at least they were
being honest, so I'll give them that.


I'm actually a local model and get told ALL the time I'm too short with being 5'6" but if I was 5'7" I could walk for them. At first it drove me CRAZY cause I can wear 6 inch heels better than your average girl - I once won a jump rope contest in 4 inch heels! I gogo dance in 7 inch platforms! It's really dumb that people can make you feel bad for an inch! AN INCH! But all the designers I have/do walk for LOVE me. I have a lot of personality and comes out in my walking. I've come to realize tho, runway is just going to be something for fun, my true passion is for print - you get much better pictures working one-on-one with a photographer than walking emotionless down a runway XD The fashion world is very cruel and judging - looks are everything, but you have to remind yourself - not everyone is going to want your look, but someone will.

[Mermaid Azira]

That's terrible I hope you messed them up

If this happened to me those boys would have broken noses, and NEVER feel safe coming around me again. But I'm a really aggressive person with a very very short temper and I'm not afraid to take people down even tho I'm smaller then them most the time[/QUOTE]

Oh They know I'm the kind to fight. Last year this boy was hitting 1st graders or their sleds with a shovel and he wouldn't listen to me when I told him to knock it off. So there was a fist fight. I totally got out better. He ended up getting expelled, I didn't get in to much trouble.

But there were six of them and one of me. I managed to body flip one of them. (I worked on flipping people over the shoulder all summer, especially my brother.He hee)

[Mermaid Narina]

But there were six of them and one of me. I managed to body flip one of them. (I worked on flipping people over the shoulder all summer, especially my brother.)

KICKASS MERMAID COMING THROUGH!!! Youre awesome!!! :D

[AniaR]

I am glad to see this generated so much discussion

[Jadestone]

I'm late to the party but I just read this whole thread and want to give everyone a hug!! You're all beautiful mermaids <3

I've been struggling with body image issues of my own more than usual this summer/semester, I've always had the media-induced "oh I should be skinnier curvier taller etc" sort of hum in the back of my mind, but it got worse than usual lately. Since elementary school I was on several competitive sports teams, to the point where my sophemore-senior year I was playing varsity tennis, varsity ice hockey, and high-level travel club ice hockey. I'd play tennis for 3 hours, then head to the ice rink for an hour of off-ice conditioning followed by an hour and a half of on-ice practice almost every day for 3 years. In the tennis off season (there is no real off-season for ice hockey, practices are year-round) I was part of tech crew and spend 3 hours after school moving lumbar around.
Needless to say, I was in the BEST shape of my LIFE (even though it was a huge mental drain on me, looking back) and I still had body image issues.
I moved to college and suddenly was getting nowhere near that level of exercise every day :( Even joining club sports (ice hockey (HUGE downstep in level though, and only once or twice a week) and Quidditch (yep, you read that right)) I hardly have time to exercise with all the work required for my two science majors. Even when I do have time, I'm unmotivated to do anything but lay around. I've lost almost all my muscle mass and gained weight, especially in areas I was already sensitive about even when I was fit (thighs, butt, stomach).

I've realized these past few weeks just how unhappy I get if I'm not doing something athletic. Maybe because it was a huge part of my life for so long, or maybe because it's one of the best releases for my mental frustrations. Since this week has been break I've managed to work up the motivation to go to the gym twice and I felt so much better each time, but I just don't have the time to go there when classes are in session. Sigh. I don't like feeling unhealthy and I guess I'm mostly bothered by the fact I can no longer do things I used to be able to with little effort, not to mention being able to easily brush away "oh I weigh to much/etc"-type thoughts with the knowledge that I'm active and in shape.

This is something i'm still working on, but I'm hoping that maybe I'll figure out how to squeeze in gym time somewhere, or at least time to do stationary exercises in my room or something. Not to mention eating better, though that can be inordinately difficult with cafeteria food x_x


Love to all <3

[melbel1023]

I have a lot of body image problems myself. I have always been overweight, and I have a mother that constantly reminds me that I would be "prettier" if I lost x-amount of weight. My brother and father are really tall with fast metabolisms, and hardly ever put on any weight. My mom has been trying different diets to lose weight my whole life.
I've dealt with shifting weight and confidence as far back as I can remember...
When I was 13/14, I found I was nearly 200 lbs. I started working out, and got down to 150 ish by the time I turned 15. By the time I finished high school, I gained it all back. I had a boyfriend who left me for a skinnier and prettier girl, and every time I tried to meet new guys they would tell me they weren't "interested" in anything "serious," then shortly get a girlfriend.

And I've tried losing my weight - So far, I've been able to keep 20 lbs off, but I'm still overweight.
Whenever I meet new people, my anxiety kicks in - Making me think awful stuff, assumptions that plague my thoughts like "Do they think I'm the 'fat' friend? Do I stick out in this group? Do they take me seriously, despite my looks?"
I try to overcompensate my anxiety with talking constantly, then it gets worse.
Its hard losing weight while going to school fulltime. I spend my free time filming or trying to make money on my etsy, or trying to get enough sleep.

I've been bullied, I've been discriminated against, I've been judged due to my weight my whole life.
And the funny thing - I EAT HEALTHY. I haven't drank soda or juice in YEARS, I only eat fast food when I am traveling with my dogs (and can't go inside a restaurant), I don't eat red meats, and I'm slowly becoming a vegetarian.
When people see my body, they automatically think I eat crap, or that I always eat, or that I eat too much. I really don't!

And its because of these thoughts or fears of my anxiety (Which can escalate to stress-rashes or eye-twitches if really bad) that I refuse to really be social. I can't stand being in a room of strangers because all I can think of is how to avoid being thought of as a loser, so I avoid social events almost entirely.
Example, tonight I had a party I was invited too - I knew only 2 people going out of 20-something. I decided to stay home, not wanting to embarrass myself or feel like piece of crap.
For my birthday this last week, I went to a dance club and invited several people - about 25 said they would come - Only 3 showed up, one of which was my boyfriend who I drove there.

Its painful. Incredibly painful sometimes.

[melbel1023]

Also - This was posted on Mertailor's page, and I was pretty offended by it.
http://www.curvymagazine.com/fashion/models/plus-sized-mermaid/
They whole "first plus sized" thing always ticks me off in articles - Because their definition of "plus sized" really only follows dress-sized ideas of plus sized.
And even then - These are not the "first" curvy mermaids! Other figures don't often get articles because they aren't the media's idea of "sexy"
Meanwhile, thin and juvenile-in-appearance are the "ideal"

[Elle]

I used to weigh 65 kg (143lb) and that was reasonably average for my 5'7". My mum was and still is my biggest critic. always telling me, I shouldn't eat that or should try and be healthier. All cos of my little pot belly (i think women should have that little pot belly, it's sexy!)
In 2010 I got very sick and was hospitalized. During this time I went down to 50 kg (110lb). Once I got better my weight skyrocketed over night and my skin suffered for it.
I've never been able to shift what I gained.
I now weigh 85 kg (187lb) I'm considered overweight and I couldn't care less. I think it's womanly and gorgeous. I will continue to order a large steak at a restaurant, enjoy ice-cream AND be healthy!
I love how I look, my fiance loves how I look so I am happy!

being comfortable with what you look like is the main thing. exude confidence in how you look and be happy! Who gives a shit about everyone else. They're only making comments cos they wish that they could be as happy about themselves as you are with yourself. Rudeness is one of the ugliest qualities a person can possess, what's the point of being "perfect" if your ugly the moment you open your mouth.

[roamingmer]

Healthy eating and healthy body are the most important aspects; and learning to havea degree of self reliance; i am happy to be me. Whoever me is.
When doing basic training as fitness instructor we were taught some rules; one i strongly remember was related to starting work with clients. Your metabolism will take time to change; overnight miracles are often terribly unhealthy. Exercise enough to break a sweat for minimum of 30minutes 3 times a week. Keep at this regularly and for most people the metabolism will start changing after week 6-8. That is a lot of committment and is not for everyone. And it wont turn you into a supermodel. It will make you healthy and at your genetic best; i know many Plus sized instructors with beautiful curves and pot bellies. They dont care because they are healthy and will kick ass against anyone daring to say different
That inner fighting spirit is what defines you.
As a side note i spent age 9-14 being bullied about who i was. In my soul i naturally understood it was due to their insecurities about who i was (new kid in large house, little money, could run fast and never fight back). Throughout school i had maybe 3-5 good friends (lost contact years ago); learned to be strong and now Walk barefoot in the snow. Just be yourself!

[roamingmer]

No not a mer - but a guy on a bike. But a story which i hope helps those mers who are body image conscious
http://www.adventure-journal.com/2012/10/in-the-news-october-10-2012/
A 300 pound guy taking part in cyclocross competitions. Now that demonstrates inner strength!

[AniaR]

Also - This was posted on Mertailor's page, and I was pretty offended by it.
http://www.curvymagazine.com/fashion...sized-mermaid/ (http://www.curvymagazine.com/fashion/models/plus-sized-mermaid/)
They whole "first plus sized" thing always ticks me off in articles - Because their definition of "plus sized" really only follows dress-sized ideas of plus sized.
And even then - These are not the "first" curvy mermaids! Other figures don't often get articles because they aren't the media's idea of "sexy"
Meanwhile, thin and juvenile-in-appearance are the "ideal"

It bothered me too, though I don't think it was anyone's intention to offend. First of all, It bothers me in general when new comers to the mer game claim to be the "first" in anything. Mostly because it generally sounds like they're placing themselves above other people when they do it. Obviously, we all know these ladies aren't the first. But the other thing that bothered me is they don't look plus size to me! (though I believe in the fashion world plus size starts at size 6 or something). I also find it very misleading the way the article says "the amazing artist who worked with __________" because many of those places use Thom Shouse more than mertailor, but he often allows people to believe he made tails he didn't. For instance, never correcting people when they say (or ask) he made the tail for Lady Gaga's You and I video.

[Elle]

I also find it very misleading the way the article says "the amazing artist who worked with __________" because many of those places use Thom Shouse more than mertailor, but he often allows people to believe he made tails he didn't. For instance, never correcting people when they say (or ask) he made the tail for Lady Gaga's You and I video.

I thought Thom made Gaga's tail for "gagaween" and Eric made the one for "You and I"? The fluke in "You and I" look more mertailor than tailman that's all. not trying to defend his actions past or present, just making sure :)

[Dacora]

While I don't have a weight issue I have hair issues. I come from a very hairy family. Resulting in me to shave my stomach,unibrow and other places that are not the "norm", other females in my family have this curse aswell. As a person it does not bother me, my boyfriend is very understanding about it since he has hair issues as well. But as a mer Im a bit afraid to go out this coming summer. Even if I do shave it comes back as little tiny prickly hair by the afternoon. Im going to try waxing and seeing if that has a longer effect.
If a kid asks me about it I might try saying I live in cold water and it keeps me warm.

Sent from my HTC One X using Tapatalk 2

[Mermaid Jessica]

Hey Dacora, speaking of wax, I just tried a wax called Nad's Body Wax Strips for Normal Skin and I just love it so maybe you will too. The strips are pre-waxed. It comes with a couple pre wax skin relaxing wipes and a few post wax calming oil wipes. And you can get it at Walmart or Target for $6-$7. It's really easy to use. And when I shave, it grows back the next day but I waxed probably 2 weeks ago and the hair still hasn't grown back yet. The only down side is the wax doesn't come off with water and only comes off if you use the calming oil wipes or baby oil. Hope this was helpful.

[AniaR]

I thought Thom made Gaga's tail for "gagaween" and Eric made the one for "You and I"? The fluke in "You and I" look more mertailor than tailman that's all. not trying to defend his actions past or present, just making sure

Gagaween isn't really Gaga. it's a fan video, and yes thom made that tail. Eric did not make the You and I tail. It was made by this company: http://www.rmfx.co.uk/tv-and-film.html (more info here: http://www.therpf.com/f45/lady-gaga-mermaid-tail-132452/) the one Eric made is here: http://gagafashionland.com/2011/07/le-grand-journal-lady-gaga-in-mertailor/ extremely different. And it wasn't so much made for her as it was a modified one he already had, that Gaga in turn modified even more when she got it.

[MermaidSaku]

I had no idea you ever felt this way Lanai. I think your amazingly beautiful and your so confident in the pictures of you in your tail. i am having the same issue of eating my feelings it's hard to control.

[Elle]

Gagaween isn't really Gaga. it's a fan video, and yes thom made that tail. Eric did not make the You and I tail. It was made by this company: http://www.rmfx.co.uk/tv-and-film.html (more info here: http://www.therpf.com/f45/lady-gaga-mermaid-tail-132452/) the one Eric made is here: http://gagafashionland.com/2011/07/le-grand-journal-lady-gaga-in-mertailor/ extremely different. And it wasn't so much made for her as it was a modified one he already had, that Gaga in turn modified even more when she got it.

Thanks for the clarification. I'm much less confused now :)

[AniaR]

Mermaidsaku your body screams sexy. Just saying :D

[Thalassa]

So many amazing mers!

I'm very blessed that I don't have debilitating (or even terribly inconveniencing) conditions.

I have social anxiety and generalized anxiety. This basically means that every minute of every day I'm worrying about what people think of me. I worry about doing the wrong thing. I have this negative dialogue in my head all the time that tells me if I don't do everything absolutely perfect for every person that might possibly be watching or interacting with me, I'll ruin any chance at happiness and look stupid. If someone doesn't like me I feel absolutely terrible. I'm working with a therapist to improve my self-image and taking medication, but it's hard to interact with people. It's also hard to know who I am when who I am wants to be everything that everyone else wants her to be. It's actually easier when I'm my mersona, because I know who she is and I can interact with people "outside" myself.

My physical stuff...I have asthma that makes me cough all the time, which can really put some people off being near you. They think you're contagious or something. XD

Other than that, I have problems with exercise because I'm just LAZY. I can't seem to get up the gumption to exercise. ;-P I'll keep trying to fix that, it's an ongoing battle to "trick" myself into exercising. Mermaiding is great because I have to (pardon the trite phrase) sink or swim. It's boring holding onto the edge, so I'm forced to exercise.

So, those are my little things. Just to reiterate, you all are so inspirational! <3

[Dacora]

Hey Dacora, speaking of wax, I just tried a wax called Nad's Body Wax Strips for Normal Skin and I just love it so maybe you will too. The strips are pre-waxed. It comes with a couple pre wax skin relaxing wipes and a few post wax calming oil wipes. And you can get it at Walmart or Target for $6-$7. It's really easy to use. And when I shave, it grows back the next day but I waxed probably 2 weeks ago and the hair still hasn't grown back yet. The only down side is the wax doesn't come off with water and only comes off if you use the calming oil wipes or baby oil. Hope this was helpful.

:D Thanks Jessica!! I will look at those.


Sent from my HTC One X using Tapatalk 2

[Lois]

I hate being tall (tallest out of all the girls mean its awkward trying to hug short people. and hey, i hug everyone). "i wish i had bigger breast"? i was once in a group with this girl called May, who was like "truth or dare? everyone has to say what their bra size is." she was looking at me while i said it, and it was the most embarrassing moment of my lie -.-
i struggle with acne too, just when i feel like im overcoming it, it decides to become immune to all the products i use :L
and when i started posting pictures of my tail on facebook, there were several people who thought it was strange, but as it happens, its the BEST conversation starter!!! i have had so many message from people asking about it ^.^ the positives will always outweigh the negatives!!!!
its hard moving isnt it :/ you can chat to me whenever! <3


I had terrible acne when I was younger my cheeks were covered in it there wasn't a smooth bit of skin on there - people used to shout spot face at me when I walked around school :( Then I went on this medicine called Roaccutane it was amazing I was only on it for six mounths and it cleared up my acne and its never been as bad since I now only get one or two spots when its the wrong time of th month. You can get it quite easily in the US but it the UK they are super fussy about perscribing it I had to go to the hostpital for blood tests and pregnancy tests every month u only get it as last resort :(

[AniaR]

It can actually cause very serious health conditions which is why they make you take so many tests

[Capt Nemo]

That's terrible I hope you messed them up

If this happened to me those boys would have broken noses, and NEVER feel safe coming around me again. But I'm a really aggressive person with a very very short temper and I'm not afraid to take people down even tho I'm smaller then them most the time

Oh They know I'm the kind to fight. Last year this boy was hitting 1st graders or their sleds with a shovel and he wouldnt listen to me when I told him to knock it off. So there was a fist fight. I totally got out better. He ended up getting expelled, I didnt even get in trouble.

But there were six of them and one of me. I managed to body flip one of them. (I worked on flipping people over the shoulder all summer, especially my brother.)

A good nickname for you should be merTaz! This mermaid beats up cats, bats, dogs, hogs and especially bullies!

7399

[Jadestone]

I had terrible acne when I was younger my cheeks were covered in it there wasn't a smooth bit of skin on there - people used to shout spot face at me when I walked around school :( Then I went on this medicine called Roaccutane it was amazing I was only on it for six mounths and it cleared up my acne and its never been as bad since I now only get one or two spots when its the wrong time of th month. You can get it quite easily in the US but it the UK they are super fussy about perscribing it I had to go to the hostpital for blood tests and pregnancy tests every month u only get it as last resort :(

They do this in the US too, actually. I'm on it now. I had my monthly bloodwork yesterday : P It's a real pain to get qualified to be on it.
But yeah, I was on different meds/topical creams for years, so this seemed like the best option. And my dermatologist is more likely to underprescribe than over, so I'm not overly concerned about lasting health problems (though of course I am watching out for any signs of them).

[Capt Nemo]

For all you BBM's out there! Never fear, Chubby Mermaid's here!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OSXpWrVmPxM&feature=related

LOVE IT!!!!

[roamingmer]

Agreed; that was indeed a clever short. No matter who you are inside; Gummy rules. :lol:

Always enjoy being who you are - we only get one lifetime with this body!

[AniaR]

that's right :)

[Spindrift]

Man I wish I was tall. Like, maybe 4-5 inches.
I used to be pretty fit, it's hard to keep it up and I'm in a little bit of a rut right now. Mostly because there's just too much work to do in a day and I can't keep a decent schedule.
My lack of exercise has actually been giving me some problems - severe back pain and stress.

Also I hate it when I've obviously gotten flabbier/chubbier/jigglier and people are just like "oh no, you're still skinny!" or just "YOU HAVE NOTHING TO COMPLAIN ABOUT". Like... I'm not overweight. But I'm definitely not in shape. And I'm definitely not healthy looking with the sudden weight gain.

As for body image. I go back and forth on it. Sometimes I feel great, and sometimes I just hate everything about myself. I hope that's a normal thing though.
A good way I found to deal with it personally was to set something to work towards - I'm not pageant material (I don't even know how to use makeup or choose clothes), but I started doing them to get myself motivated and it's helped a lot. The girls are really nice and supportive, and even give me tips and great critiques on my progress. It's a pretty nice to have female friends I guess haha (I'm too used to intellectual guys as I attend an engineering university).

I do have a really bad problem with comparing myself to other girls though. It's something I know I have to snap out of. And it makes me too... catty, maybe. I guess I'm just paranoid that I'm not good enough and that someone else will get chosen over me (hypothetically this example would work in a situation involving my ex or a guy I'm interested in, not people in general).

[spottedcatfish]

For all you BBM's out there! Never fear, Chubby Mermaid's here!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OSXpWrVmPxM&feature=related

LOVE IT!!!!

I love this video! Great animator too!

[Usagi]

So I have a question.

People tell me I'm skinny/thin. I could understand "thin" when I have clothes on. They can't see what's going on underneath. When I'm standing up, my stomach is meh okay, but once I sit down, it's like thanksgiving with all the rolls I've got going on! Is it just from not being toned? I was always overweight growing up (8th grade I was about 145 at around 4'11"-5'), but dropped 20 lbs my freshman year of high school, and have lost another 15 since then and grown about 2" (14 y.o. then, 18 now). I'm about 110 lbs. I asked my mom if I might have loose skin from the weight loss, but she said it wasn't enough to cause it. So what's with the rolls? And the love handles? Do I just have too much fat and not enough muscle? The best way I can describe my stomach is that it feels like water in a ziploc. You can move it around all fluidly. I hate it when my boyfriend touches my stomach because I'm so insecure about it. Are there any specific exercises that could help with this?

[SeaGlass Siren]

i have the same problem as syd lol... you and i have the exact same body type. i was much thinner before but i had high metabolism back then. now it's slowing down and i cant eat alot (though i do get the munchies when i'm bored)

nowadays i don't even bother to work out (even though i should). i just wear a corset and i'm good.

[Usagi]

I used to be able to eat A LOT. My nickname was "The Feaster" lol now I can eat an avocado for breakfast and I'm good...although this past weekend, I scarfed down A LOTTTT of food! =P

[AptaMer]

I come from a very hairy family. Resulting in me to shave my stomach,unibrow and other places that are not the "norm", other females in my family have this curse aswell. As a person it does not bother me, my boyfriend is very understanding about it since he has hair issues as well. But as a mer Im a bit afraid to go out this coming summer.

Hi Dacora,

There's a procedure called laser permanent hair removal. I wonder if that might be a help for you? Don't know how much it costs, though.

[MerEmma]

It's pretty expensive. I'm getting it done within the next two years or so, ish, but I can have it done for basically free thanks to a barter program my mom is on.

[Usagi]

Boyfriend said that his mom had it done, but that it didn't work. The hair grew back.

[MerEmma]

It depends a lot on who you do it with. You get what you pay for (in most scenarios, although not all).

[SeaGlass Siren]

really? my friends and i used to make a lot of "going to hell for.." jokes. they placed me as glutton xD

[Mermaid Danielle]

Raina, you look fantastic! Congratulations on achieving what you have! This might sound a bit weird, but I'm proud of you for keeping at it for so long- so many people would have just given up. Keep up the great work, you are a huge inspiration!

[Mermaid Danielle]

I have been sick my whole 12 year old year. First, right after my birthday, I got really bad mono. (I missed four months of school.:() Then as soon as I was getting better, I got a concussion. It being my fourth concussion, I was really sick the whole summer. I could not walk with out falling down and crazy dizzy. Just getting better now, but a whole year of being sick and not being able to run everyday I got plump. My tummy really sticks out, and I don't have a six pack anymore. Been trying to work of my extra weight but I am so out of shape and I can't run very much because I am still recovering and my school work takes ages. Its unhealthy. Even though its the first time in my life I have ever been on the chart for weight.

Just keep swimming, Azira. I know it's hard with a concussion and it feels like forever until you are even semi-yourself again, but you have to keep at it. It's been four, almost five, years since my brain injury and I'm still working around some of the effects of it. It gets better, much better, but you have to keep at it, all the time.

If you are struggling with your school work, and/or the time it takes to complete it, talk to your doctor about cognitive rehabilitation therapy. It helps rebuild/construct new neural pathways in your brain (which may have been damaged with the injury), especially those referring to the brain's higher functions.

Best of luck to you! If you need someone to talk to, feel free to message me!

[Mermaid Miel]

As a kid I didnt really care about my Body image until High School. In a Teens Camp I met my bff and suddenly I was fighting a war on two fronts.

On one side there was me. I had the perfect BMI according to my doctor and would look perfect as a model, but at 170cm tall I was too short and I always felt that my body looked more stick insect then sexy.

Then there was my bff. Next to her exercise regime in HS I looked so lazy I was sloth-like. She was a dancer, did 3 different styles/classes at once with a dance class a day back then. (Ballet, Irish-dancing and Cheer-leading.) But her mum would constantly rag on her for being over-weight. This on top of the bullying she'd get at her Girls-only high school.
To combat this, I'd take to complimenting her gorgeous breasts, I'd always wanted bigger boobs. (still do.) She'd laugh and compliment my cute butt. It helped.

B's gained in weight and strength since then, She doesnt look obese to me because she carries it so well, her legs are still toned and her breasts are F cup, but she's gorgeous and she's finally found out the cause to her constant weight gain. (stress.)
She's happier in her own skin now, having met a Celt who is in love with her and her body, and having researched her nordic ancestry. She's Beautiful by her own standards.

My weight yo-yoed a bit between what I would consider healthy and underweight. Usually due to me not eating enough when unemployed. Luckily I now have a job and a healthier bodyweight. My breasts still look small, but are now a size 10DD! (32-34DD) This is not due to Plastic surgery but to me finally gaining enough weight! :yay:
All the girls at work talk about going to the gym, diets and getting tan. I talk bout eating more, gaining weight and wearing the right sunsreen. lol.
I finally feel sexy... well almost.
I still hate how hairy my legs get, but since I started swimming in a tail I dont mind as much. ^.^

[AptaMer]

Makeup Art Cosmetics is a company that has always like to be on the edgy side of the industry. They've just started a new ad campain featuring a woman bodybuilder that will probably cause a lot of controversy among the women who think only certain body types should be used in high fashion advertising. I personally think it's a great blow for freedom from the tyranny of the fashion police.

8876

http://jezebel.com/mac-jelena-abbou/

What do you think?

[New York Mermaid]

I had no idea you ever felt this way Lanai. I think your amazingly beautiful and your so confident in the pictures of you in your tail. i am having the same issue of eating my feelings it's hard to control.

Thank you love,

Im confident because I know im beautiful, and girl your beautiful too. Ive been doing wonderfully in less eating my feelings and putting more into working out :) Im into the whole just dace/dance central craze. Ive been very aware of my weight (it took 165lbs to kick me in the head) and im working hard to make myself feel even better and look even more amazing im my tail hehe. Lol when im angry/ sad/ depressed i go take a walk or work out do some pull ups. lol Music is the best motivation I tell you :D. Go on girl do your thing and be happy with yourself.!

And those who feel that they have bad acne scars and such, Im going out of my confort zone here, this is me without any makeup, my face is this red because i get bad flareups and you can clearly see my acne scars.
http://i1084.photobucket.com/albums/j410/MermadLanai/DSCN8104_zps0f9b0802.jpg

And Here's the after photo after 15 minutes of putting makeup on.
http://i1084.photobucket.com/albums/j410/MermadLanai/after_zps9ffbc76d.jpg

Big difference aint it. I use Kat Von D makeup. Ive tried proactive, retin-A and acouple of other things, nothing really works well but Ive been using this algae face toner and its been helping with less flareups and the scars are starting to fade a bit.

[Mermaid Danielle]

Thank you! I am doing much better now! :)
I did go to cognitive therapy. The lady who did it was well.. not the best. Then we went to this new doctor that seemed really woo woo. It turns out he was really good. Although the stuff he did was crazy I'm almost back to 100%! I just cannot get another concussion. Which means no more nordic jumping for me. Luckily I can still skate ski. I am also far stronger then I was. I can now comfortably skate a 15k, and my core is coming back. To gain back my strength I have been doing a lot of swimming, although I cannot hold my breath for very long as cutting oxygen off from my brain would not be very smart.

I'm glad to hear you are doing so well!

[Mr909]

Okay, I want to chip in here:
Firstly, shortly after my initial discovery of the mermaid hobby/subculture, I had considered it but threw that right out the window mostly because of my body. I am 210 pounds, BMI overweight, and I have a LOT of hair on my chest. Like, I've gotten used to it, but it frightens me every now and again. :P
I never took pride in my body and don't plan to anytime soon. I'm a mind kinda guy.
But for all the mermaid gals (and guys) out there, I want to say: You are all beautiful. I believe that your mission to be loving and supportive of others is revolutionary, and I believe that in a few years, I might have the privilege of saying that I was watching this wave long before it broke along the shore of mainstream culture. What you do for yourselves and for each other is noble in the highest respect, and I'm glad you guys are out there. You give hope to a lot of people, not just those who are into it.
Society is so caught up with notions of "conventional beauty" that it sickens me. I hope that I might help enact some sort of change along those lines. I believe that you folks already do.

[Sammi Ray]

As a mother i went from a 10 (UK size) to a size 16... my eczema flared up all over my face and hands. My legs are scared from scratching, have massive stretch marks all over my stomache and every body used to comment on my face and it got me down, until one i thought you no what? F**K IT! I am ME, im not here to impress everybody, if people say things then let them! Yes i have a jelly belly but since i stopped worrying my eczema went and i have been so much more happier :-) sod what anyone else thinks regardless of how you look. You are you and you can change you, they will always be the same. I will gladly post my body. I am proud to be who i am, and so should you all. :-) so embrace what you are, people will notice a smile and see how happy you are. I am now a size 12 :-) because i changed my attitude and became at peace with myself.

[Mermaid Dottie]

I wouldn't trade my squirt for anything, but I do wish I hadn't gained so much while I was pregnant with him. If I'd gained much more I could've gotten gestational diabetes.
I was 210lbs one week before I had him. Fast-forward 5 months and I'm still over 200 lbs. And, yes, I am nursing him. (Though my milk supply has dropped horridly in the last two weeks; only 6 oz a day when it should be that per feeding!)
My knees crack and pop every time I walk up a set of stairs. My back has begun to ache in new and incredibly awkward places. I'm so low energy, and I really have no excuse, since my baby sleeps all night and takes two naps a day for a couple hours apiece.
Our family Christmas Present was supposed to be a couple's pass to the rec center, but I don't know if that will happen, since it appears Medicaid didn't pay all of my doctors bills from the pregnancy.

On the plus side, I have figured out some interesting ways to (hopefully, fins crossed) supplement our income, which may be enough to help pay off those med bills and possibly get me to FL for Merpalooza this year. Once the bills are paid, then I get my Rec center pass.
After that it's just a matter of finding a regular sitter. (My sister and Niece have already volunteered.)

My goal isn't a weight goal, though. It's getting back to the size I was when I got married a year and a half ago. 35 inches around my middle, and 45 around my hips. (my bust will be whatever size it wants, I'm not really concerned about that.) 5 inches apiece.

I should also point out that I LOVE my Merternity photo shoot. I did gain much more weight than I should have, but I also felt beautiful that day. To float along with my seven months along baby in my belly was as sweet as sunlight on sugar-water.

[Mermaid Dottie]

Okay, I want to chip in here:
Firstly, shortly after my initial discovery of the mermaid hobby/subculture, I had considered it but threw that right out the window mostly because of my body. I am 210 pounds, BMI overweight, and I have a LOT of hair on my chest. Like, I've gotten used to it, but it frightens me every now and again. :P
I never took pride in my body and don't plan to anytime soon. I'm a mind kinda guy.
But for all the mermaid gals (and guys) out there, I want to say: You are all beautiful. I believe that your mission to be loving and supportive of others is revolutionary, and I believe that in a few years, I might have the privilege of saying that I was watching this wave long before it broke along the shore of mainstream culture. What you do for yourselves and for each other is noble in the highest respect, and I'm glad you guys are out there. You give hope to a lot of people, not just those who are into it.
Society is so caught up with notions of "conventional beauty" that it sickens me. I hope that I might help enact some sort of change along those lines. I believe that you folks already do.
As Much as I appreciate your comments about the rest of us, I'm afraid you haven't absorbed the message.
We are all mers because we WANT to be. As Pebbles just put it, "Sod what anyone else thinks..."
Don't throw something out the window because you don't think you would look good to other people.
I first donned a tail to improve my self image (and to help me cope with some trauma in my life) and that's exactly what it does.
Sure, sittin around the house all day cleaning up after a five month old and a 26-year-old, I don't feel too pretty. But every time I don my tail I become someone else. I'm weightless, floating, twirling, peeking out of the water to give my baby a kiss and then back underneath to do a corkscrew or flip, just enjoying the wings that God made for me out of a zillion hydrogen molecules, and 2 zillion oxygen ones.

[Mermaid Miel]

Sure, sittin around the house all day cleaning up after a five month old and a 26-year-old, I don't feel too pretty. But every time I don my tail I become someone else. I'm weightless, floating, twirling, peeking out of the water to give my baby a kiss and then back underneath to do a corkscrew or flip, just enjoying the wings that God made for me out of a zillion hydrogen molecules, and 2 zillion oxygen ones.

That has to be the Best description of mermaiding I have Ever read. Can I quote you on that.... regularly?

[Mermaid Dottie]

That has to be the Best description of mermaiding I have Ever read. Can I quote you on that.... regularly?
Absolutely! And Thank you. I can produce some lovely verbage when I get inspired.

[Phoenix Mermaid]

Let me start by saying I love this forum! There are so many informative & useful threads. Everyone is so willing to share and is nice. This feedback on this thread has encouraged me to share my story. You all inspire me by sharing your hardships. I’m a shy person and I keep much to myself. But it’s hard to just hold everything in and never talk about it. I feel like your all so supportive though and never judgmental. Most of my family & close friends don’t know half the things wrong with me.
I’m only 22 and I have so many health problems I feel extremely unhealthy. When in reality many of these things where there to begin with.
I was born with Ladds Band Syndrome (basically: folds in the intestine & duodenum that partially or completely block the system) and Intestinal Mal-rotation (my guts were backwards). I had complete obstruction to my stomach and was unable to eat anything! Unfortunately my father & mother didn’t understand how a completely healthy baby couldn’t eat and would only throw up so I wasn’t taken to the hospital till I was about 5 months old. I starved for 5 months and should not be alive. I was all bone. My grandma has old photos of me as a baby and I look like a little skeleton : (
I had an exploratory procedure, appendectomy, and my intestines were cut & completely rearranged.
It left me with an ugly scare on my stomach.
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It bothers, but not as bad as it use to. I guess I’m finally use to it. My stomach has never been flat & never will be. I’ve always had the dent my from my scare, it’s pretty much a permanent roll in my stomach. Whenever I throw up the scare tissue behind the scare gets pulled. It feels like I have something sewn in that spot and someone its yanking on it very hard. It hurts so bad.
After my surgery, the nanny who was sitting me was lying to my father about feeding me. I starved for 3 more months. The nanny told my father I was already eating solid foods like eggs. Once my grandma was able to visit she found all my baby food hidden around the house and she said I DID NOT KNOW HOW To eat! Needless to say my insides are pretty much ruined. My stomach does not digest food due to all the damage. Many times I go on full liquid diets because I’m in so much pain form food building up in my stomach. I cannot pass it afterwards either very well. My liquid diet even has more restrictions though, and I’m only allowed to “eat” thing that are completely liquidy, like water, but not pudding (because its too “thick”) I’m either always hungry, but my stomach feels so much better, or I’m eating food and I feel terrible and my stomach just keeps getting filled & filled. And then of course I take tons and tons of meds to help with digestion and a special abrasive I drink to help scrape my insides out. Once the nanny was found out, I was taken to the hospital again and they gave me really…idk “rich” baby food I guess. They fattened me up Very quickly….
I have a few skin condition: dermatitis, eczema and I have a problem with the elasticity in my skin. So after the rich baby food my butt got kind of big. And I’ve had these stretch marks since I was a baby. They don’t look too bad in this pic but they are much more visible in real life (I’m always trying to hide them).
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I have 3 birthmarks; one is right on my face. This is something that has always had a big effect on my body image. My hairline is not even, and my forehead is not even because my birthmark is a little bubbled. And the hair that grows out of my birthmark is extremely coarse compared to the rest of the hair growing out of my head.
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When I was 16, I got the chickenpox. Everyone at school made me feel so terrible and disgusting for getting it (I even had the vaccination for it, but had never caught chickenpox when I was little). One student call me a “chickenpox infested freak”. It devastated me so much. I even heard my volleyball coach tell her children to stay away from me because I might still be contagious (pox had gone away at that point, but I had gotten one in my eye and it left a red mark for a month or so). Right after that, I developed, well I have no idea what it is but I call it a “living scar” on each armpit.
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doesnt look very bad at all in this pic compared to when it flairs up.
I know its gross, sorry if its too much. It’s getting grosser though…
The scars flair up and get very irritated and sore. They peel, peel & peel. Then it dries up, cracks, and bleeds. It is so painful, I’ve tried so many prescriptions and creams and ointments, but nothing helps. At one point I got a prescription that helps and it completely stopped the flair ups and it went away over a period of about 6 years. But then about 6 months ago I had another flair up and the scars came back, but the prescription no longer works. It was only a few years ago that I was able to start wearing deodorant without the scars breaking out. This has had a big effect on me as well. I’m in AZ & it gets up into the 100s in the summer time. When I was in high school we had a 3 day dance camp in our school gym with no A/C and it was 8 hours long. Obviously dancing like that your going to be very gross and sweaty afterwards. At that point I could not wear deodorant at all without breaking out and causing bleeding. The upper class girls made fun of me because I smelled bad at camp (who wouldn’t after dancing 8 hours in a 100 degree gym). And told me I needed to wear deodorant. Me wearing deodorant meant agonizing pain and not being able to move my arms because it moves the skin.
I was in a car accident that messed my hips up, and the labrum of each hip are tearing. One side needs surgery. This makes it very hard for me to exercise because movement causes friction and tearing. My hips have been messed up so long that my pelvic bone is rotated on one side and it causes faster wear down on the femur head of the hip bone. The muscles have also formed rather strongly around the pelvic bone so they actually hold it in the incorrect position. The Dr. has a hard time adjusting it & it usually rotates back in a day or so. I have popping hip syndrome too. And sometimes the nerves get pinched and my entire leg goes numb for hours. The longer it last the more it hurts. There’s nothing in the way of painkillers that helps either.

I have asthma, and my lungs are very week. Mermaiding will help me with breath holding so I’m excited to see my progress after awhile. And I have a kidney stone.

I also have a mental disorder. (I don’t wish to disclose what it is because it has a particularly bad stigma, and most people who find out about it never treat me the same again): This I think actually has the most effect on my body image. As it makes up much of my personality, it also effects at times how I view myself and the things around me. This is one of the hardest things I’ve ever dealth with. And continue too. I will be medicating for life (should be). And with losing my health insurance I can no long get the meds I need. Without my meds I can’t function well. At time it feels like my mind is degrading and it is very embarrassing. I’ve seen the quality of my work deplete greatly at my job and I’m not even doing anything differently or new. I have a harder time with numbers now and my ability to spell is going down hill. Simple words I could spell easily as a child I now have to look up. One day I forgot how to spell my fiance’s name and I could not for the life of me figure it out. I sat there forever trying to spell his name and finally had to get on my phone and look it up. I’m to the point where I’m about to quit my job, even though I actually like my job and enjoy the work.
At one point I was put on a new prescription and developed Tardive Dyskinesia (a condition in which you have repetitive & involuntary body movement & spasms). It was awful! I could not stop my tongue from rolling under itself or from sticking out of my mouth. I seriously couldn’t even push my tongue in my mouth or close my mouth over it. One day at work I ended up watching the store by myself and my tongue started spazing. I couldn’t talk and I had to cover my face whenever customers came in because my tongue just hung out of my mouth. I had one guy ask me if I was okay, I could barely even reply to him. I was so embarrassed so I simple mumbled “speech disorder” to get him going on his way. I had spasms in my jaw and it would clench repeatedly. My lower jaw started moving from side to side and I couldn’t stop it. The meds caused me to fall down the stairs. I didn’t slip or miss a step either, I literally just fell down them. (i found out later the meds can cause that right after waking up so your support to sit for a while before getting up) I had tremors and I finally started having uncontrolled movement in my arms so I had to stop the script immediately. And they couldn’t even ween me off so I experience bad withdrawal for a week.
I’m a little chunky but I don’t mind my curves. Well actually im stubby lol. I was a bit heavier when I was younger but it kind of leveled off one summer. I’m very short 4’11”. And with my weight and height, my BMI is actually overweight, even though I’m tiny. When I was younger my weight was one of my bigger body image issues. But as I got older I saw that there are many types of beautiful. It does not bother much anymore.
All that being said. That’s my story. Lots of things that cause image issues. I haven’t begun mermaiding on a public level yet, I’m still in the “practice” & getting together phase. But it still has an effect, as at times I become greatly discouraged. It’s all a lot of stress in general, but I’m hoping I can take mermaiding far enough to support myself, and quit my job. I’m tired of hecktack situations and stress. Swimming is my choice of exercise & it is much easier on my body (: and it its an overall great workout and I seem to respond well to it. It also is a great release for me so mermaiding as a career seems perfect. I just hope I don’t let my insecurities stop me before I’m started. I’m sorry this is soooo long but I appreciate the opportunity to share it all.

@MerEmma
I LOVE your hair! It is beautiful. (: When I was little and my hair was short it look very much like yours. This is what it looked like when I got older and it grew out ^_^
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 S0f3v+R/7H639+691Hq6OuycX8Vnp/wCG1FL/AJFR/d0f8N+//wBzX+Pv3XujAdG0dPWdhbX/AGP9x9LmcX/wL4xg9+691uAfDPYcGezNPlaGA/3fpaP7LD/9MH0GdzX+Hv3XuruKPZ3hpf2P6fn88f737917pnyWw6GaK09Bj 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 VVn+WVY9+691HmwXmFRP4P8npR/kf59+690342GAf5/wD5Rf8AgZfn37r3Sgw8082LqM5/y5/4x9lRUlX/ANWI8+/de6WGem/iVLTz0MFTTY8/5F7917p4o/3sXT4rz/5RSg/5XSVn/O9wv+53/Ye/de6R8sOK+/yFD4Ptv8j+yo7Vlv6/8V9+6908YfwUdf5556mp+1pLf5J/xv8A1vfuvdChDBPl6D7eD7ap+6/4B0g/4tnv3XujYdG7JgrN208H/KRVVmLoqOl/4tv+4rBf8X3n/Ye/de63mPgH1jPh+qtj11div4bUZ7bdqOkH/Or/ANwHv3XurSMbjYP93D/D6/8AG/6+/de69ksPQzf5j/jf+8fX37r3SHmw8Hl/zH+uP98T7917r02NofEP+R/Q/X/D37r3QT7kz1D5fDBP/wABf99/h7917ot/amNnz2HqPB9RR/8AFP8Ae/fuvdU75Lr3+MUGYg8+Swm8Nr1mUwv3eJrTjcnQYz/qyZz37r3Wpv8APDA7j6x+Q+4NuT5zN5unydH/ABr7vcNZ/uTr/wCO/wBffuvdFHw9H4YvPPP/AMpn/G/fuvdLCGKCjqqiD/gT/ln/AALpPx/vB9+690oPvIKOqp/sfuf8qo/8s/33+v7917pQbbmn/iFRb/Jv99/X/D37r3R4NtzQZjA09d4P9yGLq8X/AOev/iffuvdH42HjcVN1TvCu8FN/EPs8px/xX37r3Vb+5JqGjqqjzz/5Rb/ff0/Pv3Xug3rNyQQf5j/1brP4b/h/xPv3Xumb+M1TfQSNFHy00dH/AJEmr0gz/wCBLWH+1Ee/de6//9Wi/JTf5V/vf4/2/v3XujsdA1n+/SqPAf8AlMyn+H+P+w9+690PGYz08WLyEE8Aqf8AI7f635/p7917ocN7YeuxH28FdXf8CsPtet/yT/tS+/de6rv+S2/PDFUUMFRTfb0tv+q/6f7heD7917qlfsLPeGKoPnpv4vVVn/Ase/de6DaGr/d84rqamqP+UP8A6YPp/vPv3Xummas837H+Ufb/APKH/wDXq/v3Xum7G/vS/Y0P3P8AwN5/7Vf/ABT37r3TxkprxU9DBP8A8Cv+Bn+8/wC359+690l8xh/DS/5j/J6v/gZV/wDK/lP99/j7917pQYeKDM0tPQwT1NLjvvMXRf8AUf8A7b+vv3XulhWTQfa/wqf/ACanFZ/kdX/rf4+/de6j/Z0MJp/BDUj7r/gHb/lPv/sPfuvdM8GHrYa//Mf8Cqz77MUlJ/1YvfuvdCxR42Cb7+euoRU/5HlK37v/AKumdwv/ABevfuvdSMbjfDLkIPvslTU9VairPu/+UD/kXv3XuroP5e/T2KmpafdW45/uael3J9lW/wDV9/juFz//ABY//PH7917rdo6Bw8+H2Rt77j8YfF0X/UB/Av8Ae/fuvdGI9+6904eD/H/ef+Ne/de6T+YrIKSL7j6f717917ovHYW8K6Ggp6Ghn+2qMrWfZCq/HPv3Xukdh8Ptyjpfvtx7jp6bkf8AAus5/wB8PfuvdKjI0ezsltyo+xn/AMopT/vXv3XuqZ+7PsNt9v8AgxU/Oew+V+8pP+1F/re/de61P/5tGHoZvkjt+f8AyapqMpsT/LKT/tRZrP8A/IvfuvdVr42jn8VP99B/ym/X/ffj37r3TxN5/LTzwfc/5V/FP+J/qPfuvdKCjFD4vPBOPuPvOf8Abf717917pQY3wfdfsT/5R9fr7917o7HRtZ5qWogn/wApp+KKt/1v+I9+691YR1LB/vyMhB/yj1VHlPvKT/Hj68e/de6KP8wNn4Pbdf1/BioP4bT57MYqirPtD/vj+PfuvdA/Ds/B43/MUNPTfn6D/fW9+691kFHB9u37HHH+2uP9j7917r//1qJ8lN5pfN/tvzzx/X6e/de6OB0DMP7r1Hg9+690YjPeD+A1Fd/ykf77/evfuvdCB3lvCfy19Dih9Mxi6L/1i/X37r3VNHf264Ia+o++rqilnqqz/wA4P99b37r3Vc25Psa3PZCDz0329LWfe/5Jz/gPfuvdIeGGejl888H3M9LWf8qZPv3XupGN881f97P9z9vS/wDAuk/33+t7917pw/iUENLUT+Cm+4/4Bf5Jb/IOR/vXv3Xuk/NDPkqrzwf/AJMoLe/de6eKyWealp8V4P8AlM/jX++/1vfuvdSNt+CGlyH30NT/AMWe1Z/ln8NFB/h/T/q1+/de6WGNh8MWQrq6u/htPS4f/gJ9n/E8nXn/AHr/AJfnv3XupHh/ax+Vn/4EDD8Un/Khi8F/j7917p4w/nyWBzGVnxVNjaiqrPsqOk+nv3XumfD5Of7qo+3gqclT/wDAKspCP99/0w+/de6GjA/vHb9DBBU01RVf8pf2f1/3Nfj/AFv45Q+/de62iP5e/Vf8e6v2Piv8m+3/AL+f7+Or/wCLlk6/F4LNYDPfwXB/7H7H/wA+Hv3XutoDbcsENLT/AIp/999f6/X37r3QgQze/de6UEMw+1/33++Hv3XukPuo+aKcf77/AGPv3Xuiv9hbbrslQeChn/htRS1hrKOr/P8AvuffuvdFg/0M/wB6t0YfK74yuSyX8B/y3D0lXWf79n/zx/63v3XugO7a74zvT8WH2dQ/c/b5WsymFw+4ct/xbPpY+/de6Lf/AHbrsxFkOxsrPU1NP9plPs6vK/7jcnn8p/zuv4H/AMw/t337r3WoP/Ma3t/fD5X7og8/+T7Xw2Lwt/8AWtn/AH7r3RR6Osn8VPBXf5V919KT/H/b+/de6kTRfZxVHnrv+AtH/wAb/r7917qRjfvpo/BPB9t/kf8Akf8Aj/vre/de6VOC/wCBVRPf/gVf7P8Aw59+690b/qT77D1WH/fpqmnqqz/gXf6fj37r3ViHVee/3F+D/lI/3KfeD/ePfuvdBP8AOT/i8dT/APhyYv8A3v37r3QLz/j/AGH/ABPv3Xumtv8AOJ/sf+hW9+691//Xofm/eltx/X37r3RyOk/8j2l5/wDzj/p/hf37r3Q37qrP9+34L/5RVe/de67+ZmexWyZajB4PK/bfdUmLzWYq/wDyC+/de6oH7Dz38Y3HUT/8CMf/AMof3n/Kef8Abce/de6LfWVlDNL+xPU/xGqrBW1n+9f7x7917qRF4P8AgdlYPtqe5+zpP+V//H+v0Hv3Xum+syVbkv8AIYJ7X/5RB/ygfge/de69h4YIaWo889N/lP8Ayt/8Wz+vv3XunDzQX/Y/4EfefZf8A/8Aqy+/de6cNq4fz5T77/Kan7Ufecf8p+T9+690oKz7GaSogxX+U1FNWc/86z37r3Uj+MQfwb76hp6Wp/hdZi6Kj+7/APdz7917pvo8xPmKX7H/AJd9LVj+nv3XulRR5KuwNKaf/gTUZT/gZV1f/KB/1ZffuvdKisw9d4qj+FQGmp/+Boq/+Xn/AF9+690IGz/PkZaeCehqab+FfxT7Or+z/wCB/wDh7917rbQ/lL+DxZCCu+5qaelw/wDGv8rH/L0zuEwH8d/x/wCXH7917rYRw/n+1p/r/sPp/j/vHv3XulfR1n/E2Nv9vx7917pUfxL7OL/ff4/0/F/fuvdJ+sm/a8/0APv3Xugf3R/xT/iffuvdF/3hkv4ZS1HnrqamqKr/AJXKz37r3RD+7MltXcnXNNQ11dS/3g2vWfe/af7G3v3Xuir9ndtUWw+nN0T11dTU2PwOHyma+7+v+4v+C/1/1vfuvdaS+/M9Xb83bujf9d/xcN5ZjKbnrP8Apg/3NE/6/wBffuvdJ+H/ADVPPPP/AMBb8e/de6cIZvNLUf8AUH/wE9+6908fvw1Xnn/6tf5H/G/fuvdSMbPPNL4J4P8AJ6Ws/wAjPv3XujIbIrJ6P+HwQfc/5LWfefaVfv3XurEOvZp4dpY/K/cf8CqzKfj37r3Tf85JvN/ofn/6vGL+8/w/w/23v3XugX/z0P8Ar/7H6f8AE+/de6j+/de6/9Ch/wB+690eDo2HzbNpvP8A74/1FvfuvdCBvbJfabX8H/KR95f/AHn37r3RePmx/ePcmZzE9d9t/uLrPsvvKSs/2Pv3Xuqhu1KOfbdL4J4P+Lpat+7pP8f959+690WjzTzS+c/bUwvx/vrfX37r3U+sh83EE5pvuqT/ACz/ALWn+29+6903w0f+VU9DQ/5T/wArn9ffuvdKjJQ/w2gx/n/5Sv8AgGf9b37r3XofNk4qaeaempqeq/yK1J/yn+/de6WENZ/dugqKEf8AL0/4Gfj/AG/Pv3XuvVsP8Nxf8Kn/AMm+6/y3MVf2f1/3C+/de6Z6ysn/ALuf5imp6eq/r+ffuvdRqOsghiqJ/wDgN9rV/wCR/wDTf7917oxOH3JB4qeungxtTUUvP3Yo/wDl6fwW9v8As4PfuvdKHDwz42qyFDXfbZL7r/lEpP8AnV/09+690/7Do5/70YfB/wDAb+PZj7L7ur/r/wAU9+691tsfy8cbQ42qqJ6Gf/J8X/wM/wCr97917q9CjzH7X4/33+249+69080eYgMv9ffuvdP82eg8X++/5Hb37r3RZ+/uwuzcDs3+Odc4qmyWQFZes+8/5QMX7917ok9Z218odyYaonysFTU4/wCzv9piazD437//AHv37r3RZ898it44eKoxWc2PuT7iq/5iGko/4ljKC3v3XuiT9zfITB1kvgroMl9xS0f+R/d0f8N/3Ke/de6qf/mHfIquxvQOx9gec/3g7QosX95Sf9mv/vj7917qlf7zwy/v/wDAel4/yT/ffQe/de6cIYYJvt6E/wDK5/kf/TeR7917qRjb1f7Hg/P0H+x+vv3XuniH/O/5/wDyf7P/AHn/AG/v3XulBR+D7r+Ff8Bvuv8AgZV/8V9+690MGHo5/F54J/uajF/5b+f949+691YR1jWT/wCj6oof+q2jqqT/AItn54/w9+690l/lpnoMxQdXwef7mopcxi+P+VD37r3Qf+bwf5//AH3+9H37r3Uf7m/rv+n/AA/rx/xPv3Xuv//RoGmmnhqqf/ff74e/de6PT0z97/c3HzwT3/419ffuvdLjdUPmoP8ALvufuf8Apk/4p7917oP/AJU5LFbk3bkYIJ6YY77z73/K6P8AP8F/3r37r3VK/c2YGSylRQQT/c/wuk/33+w9+690WeGsgozUTz/bVP8Ayp/4/wCw/wAffuvdR4ZZ8lLUTwT/AG1P/wAqn05/2H09+6908TUfhl+x/wApFRVf8olJ/W9vfuvdN/mnmqvsf8p/6bPx/uL/ABx+ffuvdCBs+Hwy/e13/Fv+8/yP/nZ+/de6cM9NBN/D8r5qam+6rMpRUf55/wCd17917r03nyWZpzP/AMB/4P8A8C6v/iPzb37r3SXyVZ959x9jBU1NBS/5FR/5H/xX6e/de6XH9z56Olx8E81N/wAWf+Nfwn7z/gB/Hfz7917pw2fWfxLDVH31R9tj/vMpWn7v6/wzBe/de6GDZ833lTmMrNPU1NPS/wAL/wAk/wDkL/sdue/de6t4+N/xLg7O/wCMjQfbYSClpPvcP/kf+5P+Ke/de6sg+KO6s50nFkMVuOgqaanz2Y+8o9w0lv4ZX/n37r3V3Gw9+UO6sVB4Jz9wKL+vHv3XuhYo5vz/AK//ABvj37r3UiszE9reD/X/AN6/23v3XukPntyV0FL+x9P+K/4+/de6L/D3ltXatVkMHuOhpqbH/X/nW/7H37r3QT7kz3XOezOPqMVXY2pp6qs/6s3+Qf76/v3Xuq1/nJkuucPntr/wqDCZGopcx97/AMA/pi8F/wAvrOX/AB7917rUv+Tnak/f3dO6N8UM9tr01Z/cvZ9J/wBmvgv95+nv3Xui/iH/AHfPB/hR1f8AvPv3XunD9+GLweempqil/wBf+Kf19+6908Uc0/8AuiAf778e/de6eKOGD78/v1P+Sf8AAO3+Pv3XulhjcbQ1n3E8H3P3Fv8AgJSce/de6FDbf33+6PuvuP8AlM/1/wDD/Y+/de6OB1jmPNhshiv+Vqj/AORe/de6kfK6b/cN1f8A9MuYxf8Ah/sf959+690G8H5/2P8AxHv3XupgSAUzR/6q3+8EN9f9h7917r//0tffJVl5PB/yq/7634/r7917o9HUs08Ow8f+/wD8Cv8ALR/xq/v3XulBvbJf7ix9uP8AKP8Affke/de6Q/eX+WUGYp/BU024MpmPsqyr/wDPB7917qk/s7G0NHmcxB99/lFVWf8AKJ/sf959+690A/2cEMuQ8/8AlHv3XupHmgrK+n8EFNS0/wDyh2Pv3XupGYhnhpfPBPU1NP8AeXo6v/lfPv3Xum+jyVDDL56j/Kaf7P8AyOl/3n37r3S5x2YnrP356Gmqael/hf2fP/Lr/wCRe/de6z5jPGsr6ifBwfbVF/8AI/8Apg/2B9+690z43JV1HS+Cef8Ayj7z/LB9n/xHv3XunDD1n3lBUUNDPTU321ZekxP/ABbcn/C/fuvdChNmJ8PsOoroJ/tshVfX7us/3J/T/i88/Q+/de6D+j/itZQU/n+2pqelovvcv/xOF9+690KHW+SHlxFD/wArWY+9zFX/ALz/ALH37r3W3x8P8PQzdc4f7H/Jf8j/AILWUn/u9/8AjH37r3R6cx0ziv7uVGKnoab/ACq1bR0n+v8Aj8e/de6L9h91bq6ZzI/fqclt/wC85/52dB9Tz9P6+/de6sQ6r7gxW8KbHzwT/c8W/wCBnv3XujEeHFZIU8H/ACkVXP8AxX+vv3XuvS7Dgmin88Fqek/5TD/vHv3Xui/786f2dkoqmfK0P+Ufj+nHPv3Xuq3+3+vdq0dVkJ4IKb7el/5SxR/Q+/de61Z/5hHyQof49mOluuZ/tqiq/wCP8y1JWf7k6DF/86X+OD8+/de6qvo4YcbLUQf9Mf8Akfv3XunCajg/yei/yb/Krf4cf7f/AB9+6904ZLwQ1Xnnmpj/AMoX2lIf95/x+nv3XuvYyH7yXwf8o9KP8f8AeffuvdKijh/44QU3+S3/AMr+nv3XuhA23D+1mJ/PTU1RVUn0/wBf/efp7917oYKPGn/gdQ/8CKX/AIGfX63+vv3Xuho2TDXY2lyE8F6mnpaP/Y/wv37r3XvkhmP4lgev5/8Aq8Yv/ff6/v3Xumek/wB0f8g+/de6fDD+4v8Asf8Aej7917r/09d+YebKX/5H/X/b+/de6PR1VkqebZuPof8AlV9+690qM9/mj+//AJP/ALi/+BY/P+8+/de6R/yKyU/2uQzn/a0/yv8A3v6W9+691SxvCj/iWe3BOJ/uafF/77n37r3QXbkw9PR1VP4PuaWn+tZ/X37r3SH/AIl/ugwf632n/E8f737917pQfdz1mGoIJ/8AJoKWj+xpPtPz7917pL/Z/wDAfwQ/9QlIP+N+/de6eKPMfZxVEE/3P3FUf+UT/fce/de6kUc0FvAPuR/ln+Wfd/7b/Xv7917qRzNVf5EP8n/5TKv/AH319+6916HJeGannyv+TVBH/Auk/wBt7917pQZ7dUE1Vj6GCep+3pbf8C/+Ln/5/L+/de6FDD4Dce9osPBBBTU238p/yiUlHbGV/wDxPv3XujUbb6lnhqtv10EH+Uf8AjR/Z/8AA/F/8V9+691sMfBWszkOL2flcr9zTfTbFH9p/wAp/wDAv+d4P/Dc9+691eBND5sX/A5/8p+1o/8AI6sfWvxnv3XuiX9nbbnh+4/5Saf/AG3H+8D6e/de6KvR7w3H1JnjXYOe+O/4G/af7Hn37r3VkHSfy62puT7fFZSupsbmOP8AJKv/AH31Hv3XujkUfZ2KmpfPPlab7el/3r/Ye/de6AffnZ1DkpaihoZ/+qv37r3VKH8w75UbV+PfUu6M5PXU1TuDKf7hdn4n/l557dH59+691p3VngyX8Q3HuOuqclunPVmUrdyfd/8AKflM77917pP0cM3+fH21R+f+Nf4e/de6kRQ/efceef7b7X37r3TfWQ+b9+i/r/wE/wBt9P6+/de6UGB89ZLkIPBxVf8AKp/t/wDeL+/de6VFHjZ/L+x/wIqv+Uvj6f4/j37r3SwxsM8Mvgn/AMmqKqs+yrB957917ozGNw/2eG/YmFT/AJHlK3/JP99f37r3Qs7Vh+8wNRXQf5NUVX/Az+tB9PfuvdBd3ZBP/C9r+ef7k/3kxddRke/de6f6T/NU/wDrH/e/fuvdP7/qi/5C/wB6b37r3X//1NdeG/3Xn/P3n+++v9ffuvdHI6xyU8O16e0NN/5yf7x7917oWN1ZLFzYbb9DQwVP3FKB9593/wBrq/v3Xukf8kIZ5sBUTwUNN/ktZ/yl/T/efz7917qp/Mbb81LUV0H232+L/wDV/wD4p7917ouG5KODxTzwT/c1FV/02f0/3v37r3Qffw3+G/vz2pvuv+UT/eL/AJ9+6903+GfxVHgnph/vP9P959+6904Q/jz/AHV+L/7x9bc/T37r3ThR4Gfy083332/+Wf5H/j7917pQY2jxU0VQJ5//AK519v8AYce/de69mJp/L5/B/wABf8iw1L/vX49+690n/wCA10Vf/uV/yao+8/4Ce/de6GjD9P7qz329DBg6mmoKb/lL+z/5df1/p7917o9HUvW9DtuWnngrsjTVGLov+VP/AHGfxQ/T8+/de6OBs/D5ze2Z/hWD2rU/w+qvW1n+Rj/yO/X37r3V4HxX63rslLt/Kz4Mbb2ti6z/AHD/AHdZfJ1/+4X+A/7b37r3VjGYyXg/3d9z9r/t/wDiffuvdAfvysgrIqjz/wDAjn8/j6j37r3Vc/ZHgo8pUQef/e/99z7917omHbNZnftf9+rPU43Mf8oeWpKz/gB7917oj3YX8yD5bdD78r9gYPfGN3bj8Dh8Wayk3ZR/7k/8f9zu3/z7917oLtyfzjPlR/C6iChxWwMdkKr/AJS/9zOS/r/xPv3Xuq0Ozu7e1O7d5f3q7U3hkt25j/lz0lX/AMWzA/T/AIseD9+690j6zJT1v7EE9N7917qBR1ng/Yg/330/23v3Xup9H/mqj9j/ACf+v/FffuvdN1HDXTS1FPPBU/b/AHn++/Hv3XuljjfOPt/Af4bUfef4/wDFrv8AX37r3QkYzwfa0888/wDymf8AnB/t/fuvdKiLG13ip4P95/3jn37r3RgNtzV01LBQQQVNTT/Z/wCWf7Dn37r3RkOvcDUfwaognP8AwKH/AAE9+690C/f1H9ni9nwfWnOYxf2f/n6A/wB69+6904UcPmi+vv3Xun0LenZ/9SAf9ubX/wB59+691//V1x6Ob/Kv999f9j9T7917o4HXv/Hrwf8AKz/yL+vHv3XulRNWQTVWP8H/ACuYr+v0/jVvzx7917pY98Q/x6LH4OCe38U3JlPvL3/4tf8Are/de6re7mh/htDUYOhgNPTfeZS3+R8V/v3XuiD1kME2Z+yn/wCUX6fX/Ye/de6R+S/Z/erv+Uo/5H/vH+8+/de6jQ0fm/fn+v8A0yf77nj37r3WCCbw8/0/5S/fuvdLjG5f7P7iD/JvB9n/AOROv/1vfuvdR8lur/gPBBBTVNT/AO4Fv6+/de6VG2sPuPsLM02K25Q0w/yz7L/JP+LZQf7D6+/de6sI6Z+KOD8VNPPis3vbdH/UH/uM/wB9x7917qyDZ/x73VmMX4N1bcxu3Kelo/sqOk/jH/u79+690OE3x1xVHLT13nxv29LR/Z/aYn+M/wAMr/8AD37r3QkYfryiw8f3GDoanG1H/A37ukrP4l/h7917qyj499wYOjpafB7jgpsJUf8AAL/q2V/9PfuvdHo3VjaGsxX30H/KVf8A3k/4e/de6JP2FNPRy1FOP+Aw5/33+Hv3Xuqx+7Mx9nmcfB9J6qr/AD7917p4w/UtdmcDUZWug/5Q+fp/tv8Ab+/de61X/kXmK7JfIfuieD/lF3JlML93/wBWz6+/de6LvNDP5aieCCp/yWj/ANb/AHx9+690j4aOf7qonnqP99z/ALf37r3Sg8MENBTz/wDK1b6H37r3XqLzwy2/w/wt/tvfuvdKCKaCji8EEH3PH5P19+690sIMbXQ1/n8FTaqo/wCn+H09+6904TY2fy0//KxVUf14H55/2NvfuvdPFHRwUf28E9/B95/rf09+690IGBx08sVR+wft6Xmjq/8AH6/4e/de6MBtvGz0dV4Psf8AJ/s/r7917o8HXu3J5tuY+un/AOA9Lh8p/vvx7917or/yoxvh25safwf8xJjPr/vXv3Xuk/Rw/wCY/wB5/wCN+/de6Ugh/wAmb/WH5/xHv3Xuv//W1wMd/wACh/r/APE+/de6NfsOeD+7mP8ABPeo/wAfz+f6fT37r3Sg80Hlx/8AysfeYv68/wCuT7917oWOzvvpv4fXQQfv/eZTn+v+8C3v3Xuqx+5poJspUeCf7bIUn8Urf8r/AN4zP+x9+690SfwwQ1fg/wAp/H+V/wC+t7917pvFHQw1VPXeD7kVP/KJV/8AFffuvdJeb96WohH/ABv/AHw9+6903ww/5LUfsVNT/wAqQ5/r/vd/fuvde8M9H+/B/wACKq3+WD/b/wC29+690oNk7Vn3JlMfiqGCpqaipq/99/T8e/de6uo+PfxXnwEWHodx4rJYT7o/ejaWJ5yee/6vWczn/MP/AF9+691sMdD/AAczlZgf71bjgwnUvW9LR/5ZV5as/u3jP4YfznM5uD/j4PfuvdGAmzHwm6lh+xxUG5O9dwUv52//AL9vY3+P+5z/AOtP8Y9+690l5u+J8lU+DanXPV2wMP8A8odHSbbw29sn+P8Ai+ 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 A/3n/io9+690IH+a/3173/239PfuvdLDeE3h6WzH/ht5T+n+t7917qk/s4+bfnX/wD1GAf+sX/Yf09+690KM3+Z/wBgP969+690xPN/lcP+u9v9bxtf8f09+691/9DVH837v++v9f8AWt9ffuvdKjAzfZ0v78H9P9t7917oUMdN5pa 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

[Phoenix Mermaid]

ok well I haven't figured out the photo upload thing i guess. Sorry the photos aren't there for you to see what I'm talking about.

[-Annwyn-]

With IPL (LASER Hair Removal) it takes around 6 sessions on the same area for the hair to stop growing back. And the darker your hair is, the better the effect is going to be.
Do make sure you do and see a licensed Esthetician and be prepared to pay around $100 a session. Some Estheticians will have a package deal (i.e: 6 sessions for the price of 5). And as far as pain is concerned, it's like getting snapped with a rubber band, so it's not that bad.

[Mermaid Melanie]

I think regarding your body image you should strive to be how you want to be - if your unhappy with your weight under or over then try something to make it the way YOU want it .... not how anyone else tells you it SHOULD be... Im very short 5ft 1" and about 3 years iago i was around 120lbs which i felt was wayyy to much for my height and I wasnt comfortable really - I started work as a diver and through exercising every day and with the physicality of my job im now 97lbs and feel great ! I have cut out a lot of junk food and tried to do at least some sort of exercise every day - I found hulahooping to be great fun and so good for the abs ! also pole fitness - when i first started pole fitness there were many larger ladies there to try and kick a few pounds off and you know what it worked ! all in all ... do whats gonna make you happy

[Usagi]

With IPL (LASER Hair Removal) it takes around 6 sessions....be prepared to pay around $100 a session.

Cheaper than a tail! (; ehehe

Melanie, I'm with you. 5' 1", and I weigh anywhere between 110-115. Because of how chunky I used to be (145 in middle school, then dropped to 125, then 120, then magically went down to 107 in 1-2 weeks lol), I freak out anytime I hit 115. I've sworn to myself I'm never going back to 120. Some people are all, "Oh boo-hoo for you" but really, at my height, and depending on where the fat decides to go, there can be some serious rolls :P I told my boyfriend that I wanted to get down to 98 and he freaked out and told me that that's way too skinny, blah blah blah. So I've decided I mostly just wanna work on my arms and abs-I don't want the butt to go byebye and I don't want my boobs to get any smaller than they already are haha I'm gonna go buy myself a hulahoop now! I was really good at it when I was younger, so maybe with my "curves" I'll be even better. What the heck is pole fitness, though? o.O

[Mermaid Melanie]

Good for you Sydthefairebrat ! Yeah i know it doesnt sound like a lot of weight but for a short person small things are big things for us haha ! well im very happy with my body image just now and my bf says i look great - he didnt notice i was a little chunkier when i was but now that ive slimed down he says he can see a difference! and for sure u dont wanna go too slim but just working on the abs and arms is a good thing ! I use a heavy metal and foam padded hula - really works the abs and if you do it to some upbeat tunes you can get a great rhythm going ! pole fitness is exercising using pole dancing ( not sleazy or provocative though - look up some vids on youtube - some beautiful performances) i have one in my bedroom and also i do some dance workouts - check out Nika Kljun on youtube for some example for intense dance fitness she is amazing ! all of these combined with stretching off i find to be very helpful in keeping my figure ! x

[roamingmer]

Whilst not directly related to Body Image; I find that the video below actually echoes most of the comments on this thread... find your line; find who you are; and be confident in yourself and enjoy nature.
http://www.adventure-journal.com/2013/01/have-you-found-your-own-line/

[Sammi Ray]

Get cans of food the same weight and so arm presses. If you have a gym ball (which arm really cheap) do sit ups, then do the plank. I have the ahaun t hip hol abbs. It does really work and i wouls recamend it :-) every exercise they use you you have to tense your abbs. When i get really fit i did the shaun t workout :)

[Mermaid Dottie]

Phoenix, I am so so so so sorry that all that happened to you as a baby!
That is exactly why I only leave my son with family and take him to the doctor whenever I feel like something is wrong.
What a horrible nanny! If she goes to hell, I will feel justice only half served to you.
I hope God takes all your bad health experiences and pours out equal or greater pain on this woman.
I also pray that He will cause swimming in your tail to heal you, body and soul, so that one day, you'll find yourself in the water, swimming without pain.

I also wanted to mention:
My biggest insecurity is my teeth.
When I was a kid my parents could never afford braces for any of us kids, but I'm the only one with a crooked smile. I am so jealous, every time i see someone grinning with perfectly lined up teeth.
If you'll notice, all my pictures (the ones that I like) have close-mouthed smiles. I very rarely say "cheese" for the camera...

[-Annwyn-]

What a horrible nanny! If she goes to hell, I will feel justice only half served to you.




That's a very forgiving, Christian attitude you have right there...

[AniaR]

Body image debate, not religion ;) unless you feel like starting another thread :p It would be kinda hypocritical for us to judge each other in this thread, since the very essence of it is about overcoming people's judgements of our own bodies.

[-Annwyn-]

Body image debate, not religion ;) unless you feel like starting another thread :p It would be kinda hypocritical for us to judge each other in this thread, since the very essence of it is about overcoming people's judgements of our own bodies.

Don't look at me, I didn't start it by forcing my prayers on other users. Suggest asking Dottie to keep her faith and hate-filled, hypocritical bigotry to herself and stick to the topic of overcoming people's judgements of our own bodies, like you so aptly raised, Raina.

[AniaR]

that's not really your place to judge honestly, the comment wasn't directed at you. The whole point of this thread is to validate each other, and that's what Dottie was trying to do for Phoenix, and if it upsets Phoenix then they can discuss it. If you start judging how we support each other it undermines that validity. I get your point- but that's your interpretation , it didn't need to be stated. We can sit here and debate a better use of language to get Dottie's point across, but that undermines the whole point of this thread. This thread is to support each other and if it turns into arguing back and forth over something clearly meant as validation I'll just ask the mods to close it. If you wanted to debate that sort of language in another thread (I don't disagree with your point, but I think the statement was made innocently to validate what someone went through) or discuss it with Dottie somewhere else, that's fine. But this thread is intended for sharing our personal experiences and validating each other, not so much debating and getting too worried about word choices. It's intended to be a safe zone where people can let their guard down and don't have to worry people are going to take their statements out of context. There's lot of opportunity for that sort of discussion over a variety of topics all over mernetwork, I'd like to keep the focus of this thread as non-judgemental of each other as possible please. Thanks :)

[AniaR]

I think you might all enjoy this Ted Talk from a working well known model, along with the additional article at this link: http://blog.ted.com/2013/01/16/model-cameron-russell-gives-the-real-story-behind-six-of-her-stunning-photos/ food for thought :D

[Sammi Ray]

Its so nice to see everyone sharinging their problems. Often people are too worried but because we have such a great support on here its great. I have had lazer treatment and they do say about 6 treatments. But i the dark hair over the treatments turned white so now they want me to have electrolosis.. but i still need continuous lazor treatments. They might advertise it as permenent, but they mean reduction. So you will need top up treatments. Pain not bad got a cooling jet on the lazer

[Ariel-Starfish]

I have struggled with my body/weight ever science i was getting in my teens. I always liked food, going out for dinner etc; Even trough I always have been eaten healthy, not fat. But now, after all these years (and 1000 diets later) i can finally tell u the i'm happy with myself/body etc. last year i tried Weight Watchers. I started with 72 kg (I'm 1,68 meters tall) and now I reached my goal weight from 65 kg. I still cant believe I've done this! (But I couldn't have done it without my moms support and coaching!!)

It made me a total different person, outside AND inside.

This is one of the reasons I had the currage to buy a realistic mermaid tail. Wich I'm doing now.

xxx

[AptaMer]

Its so nice to see everyone sharinging their problems. Often people are too worried but because we have such a great support on here its great. I have had lazer treatment and they do say about 6 treatments. But i the dark hair over the treatments turned white so now they want me to have electrolosis.. but i still need continuous lazor treatments. They might advertise it as permenent, but they mean reduction. So you will need top up treatments. Pain not bad got a cooling jet on the lazer

So maybe electrolysis is the only truly permanent hair removal? Do you even have hair growing back if you do electrolysis?

[Sammi Ray]

They say 'hair reduction'. Sometimes it can on different people be permenant but not me so far! Had seven treatments and just seen a reduction of hair growth. Electrolosis is for white hairs - sometimes during lazor treatments, it turns the hair white, and the lazor machine can not pick up white hairs so you need to start electrolosis as its a machine specefic for the conduction of white hairs. All results are from the person being treated! But my experiance i would still keep going for both treatments even though it will cost me £20 more as a reduction is better than nothing. If you have the treatment you can not wax, pluck or any other form of haor removal other than shaving. Its one treatment per month as your hair folicle needs to regrow. So its very lengthy but depending what you have done it is pricky quick. Im only in there for 15 minute.

[Zelly]

Even when I was belly dancing, before I had my baby, I never had a flat tummy. I have always had image issues. Most of them are psychological. I was a size 6 and I still thought I was fat. Even though I knew I wasn't.

Now I am trying to get back down to that size, near 130. (currently I'm 150, full term pregnancy was 180) My body is short so I should be around 110 but I have never seen that number on the scale. I have a curvy body, big hips, big boobs. So the smallest I have ever been was 115 - 120. Still in a size 6 even then and always with a belly pouch.

People on the internet don't know our stories or why we are the way we are. I've seen people look at me funny when I cosplay, especially if they recognize me from the year before. They get that "that girl got fat this year" look on their face. Of course they wouldn't know I just had a baby. So I've been refraining from wearing tight clothing and spending most of my time at home refining my dance again.

It's probably not going to stop talk, and I will still have a belly pouch in the end. And of course, I am always going to be short with tiny feet and a voice like a kid. But I love me. Flaws included.

edit: I also wanted to point out that I have recently acquired stretch marks. This is a new flaw I am still coming to terms with. I'm sensitive about them right now, but I'm sure I will learn to love them one day.

[Mia]

I've been overweight since childhood, and weigh between 200 and 220 lbs. I have premature greys, and a small chest, due to a hormonal issue that caused me to go through menopause at 14, so I'm a bit underdeveloped in the chest area and my body holds onto weight more. I've never felt good about how I looked, but I had a very hostile attitude growing up because I was teased and bullied. At some point, I hit a rediculous low where I discovered that, though I gag pretty quickly, I cannot be bulimic because that's not the way my throat works and I have a limited amount of willpower.
However, once I developed a very strong anti-confidence, and I suspect some form of mental instability, I started doing nude modeling because screw your eyes, you're an art student and you will deal with it. Obviously, I'm not happy with myself, but it wasn't until I got into mermaiding that I actually decided that I want to loose weight.
I'm at my usual low weight, which is about 205, and I intend to loose something beyond that (I don't fluctuate except when I attempt to diet). I want to loose enough weight to be a decent mermaid, not just because of oh, look, it's a whale (I have cruel, sarcastic friends who know the limits of my temper) but because swimming with as much weight as I have is ridiculous.

[AptaMer]

They say 'hair reduction'. Sometimes it can on different people be permenant but not me so far! Had seven treatments and just seen a reduction of hair growth. Electrolosis is for white hairs - sometimes during lazor treatments, it turns the hair white, and the lazor machine can not pick up white hairs so you need to start electrolosis as its a machine specefic for the conduction of white hairs. All results are from the person being treated! But my experiance i would still keep going for both treatments even though it will cost me £20 more as a reduction is better than nothing. If you have the treatment you can not wax, pluck or any other form of haor removal other than shaving. Its one treatment per month as your hair folicle needs to regrow. So its very lengthy but depending what you have done it is pricky quick. Im only in there for 15 minute.

Thanks for the info, Pebbles! that was very helpful.