I Feel Bad

[Usagi]

So my boyfriend's mom is offering to pay me to make his little sister a tail. Obviously, I'm gonna refuse because that's weird haha it'd be like asking my sister to pay me for making my niece's tail. I've talked about the little sister before..she's one of those kids that you love, but the thought of being around them just makes you go "UGH." I know the only reason she wants a tail is because I have one and 1) she likes to copy the things I do. She doesn't have an older sister to look up to, so I guess I kinda take that role. and 2) because she's jealous of the attention I get from having it. And she's definitely an attention-seeker. Should I feel bad?

[Usagi]

I'm still going to make it, I just kinda don't wanna. Haha just to clarify

[drucilla]

No you shouldn't feel bad it's natural to want to be different and have something that's just yours something that makes you special. It's not selfish at all it's a natural feeling what matters most is how you conduct yourself now that you acknowledged it.

[Gem Stone]

I don't think it's wrong and if she's only doing it for attention she probably won't swim in it for very long. sort of like when a kid needs something, plays with it once, and it then rots in their toy chest or closet

[Usagi]

I think I'm gonna do it because she's insisting on paying Haha I really need money >.>

[Mermaid Danielle]

I think Gem Stone is right. She probably won't be into it for too long, especially when she realizes how hard it is to actually swim in. And I'd definitely take the money- nothing to expensive, but there is nothing wrong with being payed for your work

[drucilla]

It's good that you're willing to put your personal feelings aside to do this.

[Usagi]

That's true..she's one of the laziest (almost) seven year olds I've ever known. She never, ever plays outside. All she ever does is play on the iPad and watch TV. But the new obsession with her and her friend is H20!! Hahaha I think it's just hard for her, being like an only child (brother is 13 years older). No one ever wants to play with her.

A Story:

The family was staying at a resort for several days and le boyfriend and I went up to watch her while the parents were in meetings. I told her we would come back on the weekend and I would bring my tail (we had been playing "mermaids" that day in the pool). She was super excited! Then Saturday, we go down to the pool and I had my boyfriend take pictures, and she kept saying things like, "Are you almost done yet?" and kept trying to get some part of her body in the photos, even though her brother kept telling her to stay out of the way. After the pictures, we got in the water and swam around, then decided to switch to the pool with a little beach area. As my boyfriend was carrying me over, a dad said, "Oh look at this mermaid!" and right away, she said, "It's JUST a toy fin, guys." I was like GEEEZ! And she really wanted my boyfriend to take a picture of her with me, so he saved space for one. When the time came for the picture, she made it clear that she did not want the tail in the picture. Boyfriend and I agreed that it was because she felt like it would take the attention off of her. Lol I don't know what to do with that child...

[Mermaid Harmony]

That is rediculous! Make her the tail, but you can always make it out of fabric so it's cheap and easy and you don't waste neoprene. I suppose it's too much to tell her to practice in her new monofin before she uses a tail? lol

[Usagi]

Yeah, probably haha her mom said no rush, though, because their pool isn't heated so it's COOLLLDDDD right now lol

[Lotus]

Have you ever considered why this kid is so obsessed with attention? I haven't looked up your other threads concerning her, I admit, but I can't help but wonder..... Does ANYONE pay attention to her? Was she the star once and now feels abandoned? I'm curious....
But listen, if you're the "big sister" because you feel obligated, it's not fair to either of you. Because you resent being something to her you sound like you don't want to be, and to her because she may be taking your sisterly gestures as genuine when maybe they aren't. Maybe, try talking to her about this, to see if she's really serious.... Like, "hey, I can't get to your tail till it warms up out... Until then, lets start learning to swim like a mermaid so you'll be ready," (if, of course, there's a warm pool somewhere to swim in,"
or maybe have her draw and color her "dream tail," ..... You should be able to figure out how serious she is. Then you can make your own decision on a proper course of action.
Just thoughts and suggestions. :)

[Lotus]

I just re-read what you said about her being lazy- it's really sad.... You said no one ever wants to play with her.... I can kinda see why she wants attention. Sounds like a very lonely existence.

[MerEmma]

^ That's about how I was feeling by now. It's not your fault, Syd, at all by what I know.

I have so much trouble understanding how people can have kids with such a huge age difference...Almost all of the time they hardly know one another, never really speak and never really play (again, just my experience). It sounds like she sort of has to find things to entertain herself with, such as the iPad or TV based on how it doesn't sound like she ever has any friends over. Perhaps you could try and find some girls her age she could swim with? It might make her feel a bit more..."normal" or "accepted."

[Usagi]

Well what I've been told is that for the first 3 or 4 years of her life, she had a nanny or something that spoiled the heck out of her, which made her think everyone should treat her like a princess. By the time I came into the picture, the nanny was gone. Now she doesn't get all that attention. Imagine that annoying blonde in high school that always played dumb and tried to get attention by being loud and obnoxious..add in some constant fake crying and that's her, but smaller lol she has friends that come over once in a while. There's a girl that lives across the street but she's kinda bratty and bossy. She has another friend whose mom has become friends with her mom now. Gabi(little sister)'s mom is a little cautious of them hanging out now, though, because she found out that the other little girl has been practicing "making love" with her teddy bear...

Also, I love her. She is like a little sister to me. But I have to sit on my hands when it comes to disciplining her because anytime my boyfriend or I say anything, it's always "Guys, leave her alone." or later I find out she told him that we're always so mean to her and we need to be nicer. There was one time when their mom was sitting in her office, crying because she's "the only one that likes Gabi." I'm used to watching my niece and nephew, which always sound like something along the lines of, "Get down off of there before I chop your little toes off!" lol my brother is the same way. So was my 10th grade history teacher (I know, random)

I've said in a different thread that I think bratty kids come from parents that aren't around very much. My niece is becoming bratzilla as well. I guess it's hard to bond a relationship with Gabi because she wants to talk ALL THE TIME, whereas I reeeaaalllyy enjoy silence and hate talking (in person).

Also, back to her friend... her mom said that she was cautious of them hanging out because she has the makings to become a slut..but with the way Gabi's been, so does she.
And when I heard about that, I was just like, Omg! You know your child is going to be a slut, but you don't try to do anything about it?? it drives me craaazzzzyyyy

[Lotus]

Your situation it rough, girl. I'm not gonna lie. Because what that little lady needs is structure, discipline and positive reinforcement. which she can't just get from you. She needs it from her family- especially her parents. Then you're stuck between a rock and a hard place cuz you love the girl, but she's a pain. There's always a chance the mermaid thing could actually help her... ask her mom to get her a monofin and find a warm place to swim. Take her, just you and her, to go swim and teach her! If she puts up a fight over not having the whole tail, you might say something to her like "I know you really want a tail, and I think that's great. I will he happy to make you one, but I really need you to learn to be safe first, because I care about you and I don't want you to get hurt," Again- all suggestions here- but maybe it would do her some good to hear you tell her you care and don't want to see anything bad happen to her. (Not that you have never said this before, if you have) ....But it starts a foundation of positive reinforcement. That being said, you obviously can't spend your whole life trying to fix her- and I admire you for caring enough to even wrestle with this. You could do what everyone else seems to and blow her off leaving her with acting like an idiot as the only way to get a reaction from people. Carry on- if you need help, hit me up :)

[Usagi]

Aaaah you give amazing advice! Haha I told her mom that people suggested getting the monofin first to see how she does with it, and she said it was a great idea...then tonight she told me to put together a price. So now I don't know what's going on xD and what makes things even more complicated is that the aunt is gonna be paying for everything, and she lives in Brazil Haha