Lotus
01-29-2013, 01:21 PM
I want to just get this out there as a thinking point for you guys, because It's a realization I have come to that's really helped me out.
First of all, I want to say that I am very sensitive and prone to getting really hurt when I feel like I'm being attacked (or I know I am) I really hate it when age, body size, intellect, religion or sexuality are the things that are used as weapons against me or anyone, really. It's just so petty. And then I realized- that's the whole point! It usually happens when you've done something that upsets someone else... let's say, for example, you create a tail that resembles someone else's. Then the hateful comments start.... it's like someone is saying "you upset me, I'm gonna upset you right back!" Maybe their argument is really weak, and they know it, but they still want to make you feel bad. So then derogatory comments about things like age, sexuality ect start coming up... and here's why: When someone is angry and just want to fight, they will do whatever they can to keep you fighting. It validates them. It gives a reason to keep it going. And people who don't know you well but maybe know a LITTLE about you will attack easy things- like the ones mentioned above. They can be touchy subjects for some, so it's kind of a fail-safe method of trying to hurt you. Really, it's about getting a reaction.
I used to have this horse who had been really badly abused. It left him scared and untrusting and he protected himself by being aggressive. Any time anything upset him, aggression was his go-to reaction- he'd bite or kick or whatever he had to. Which really pissed me off, mostly because I had no idea I had upset him in the first place. So I'd get mad right back, and then the real fight would start. After several bruises and bites and bouts of hard bucking, I just got sick of it and whenever he started being nippy or whatever I tried to just ignore it. When he found that he couldn't provoke me to fight, he would take his anger out on whatever was really bothering him. That goes in to a whole other subject, but the point here is that when someone's trying to illicit a fight from you, they will go for things they either suspect or know will hurt you and force a reaction. If it happens, read it over, and then take the time to walk away and come up with an intelligent well thought out response. Or don't respond at all. Of course, if you find that you really have done something to hurt them first, take it to PM's and try to find a solution. Above all, try to remember that some people are just asses.
I hope this may help someone if they find themselves in this situation, regardless of whether it's here or elsewhere. :)
First of all, I want to say that I am very sensitive and prone to getting really hurt when I feel like I'm being attacked (or I know I am) I really hate it when age, body size, intellect, religion or sexuality are the things that are used as weapons against me or anyone, really. It's just so petty. And then I realized- that's the whole point! It usually happens when you've done something that upsets someone else... let's say, for example, you create a tail that resembles someone else's. Then the hateful comments start.... it's like someone is saying "you upset me, I'm gonna upset you right back!" Maybe their argument is really weak, and they know it, but they still want to make you feel bad. So then derogatory comments about things like age, sexuality ect start coming up... and here's why: When someone is angry and just want to fight, they will do whatever they can to keep you fighting. It validates them. It gives a reason to keep it going. And people who don't know you well but maybe know a LITTLE about you will attack easy things- like the ones mentioned above. They can be touchy subjects for some, so it's kind of a fail-safe method of trying to hurt you. Really, it's about getting a reaction.
I used to have this horse who had been really badly abused. It left him scared and untrusting and he protected himself by being aggressive. Any time anything upset him, aggression was his go-to reaction- he'd bite or kick or whatever he had to. Which really pissed me off, mostly because I had no idea I had upset him in the first place. So I'd get mad right back, and then the real fight would start. After several bruises and bites and bouts of hard bucking, I just got sick of it and whenever he started being nippy or whatever I tried to just ignore it. When he found that he couldn't provoke me to fight, he would take his anger out on whatever was really bothering him. That goes in to a whole other subject, but the point here is that when someone's trying to illicit a fight from you, they will go for things they either suspect or know will hurt you and force a reaction. If it happens, read it over, and then take the time to walk away and come up with an intelligent well thought out response. Or don't respond at all. Of course, if you find that you really have done something to hurt them first, take it to PM's and try to find a solution. Above all, try to remember that some people are just asses.
I hope this may help someone if they find themselves in this situation, regardless of whether it's here or elsewhere. :)