So you're feeling too fat to be photographed... blog article

[Joy&RaptorsUnrestrained!]

Hey guys, one of my cousins posted this blog article on facebook, and I really enjoyed it, and figured I'd have to share. I've been a little self-conscious about my body and have been considering holding off on getting a tail until I lose a bit of tummy (in my defense, I've been swimming several times a week since about October, and I've recently begun working out again as well, so I expect my appearance to fluctuate a bit if I stick with the regimen), but I've also never been camera shy (if occasionally bemoaning the final results of those pictures). However, when I read this blog post, I have to agree with its message, and I wanted to share it:

http://myfriendteresablog.com/so-youre-feeling-too-fat-to-be-photographed/

Maybe I'll order my tail sooner than expected.

[AniaR]

Hmm the link didn't work for me but it sounds like an interesting read

[Joy&RaptorsUnrestrained!]

Really? Weird... I'll try copying and pasting it, then... here you go:

" So you’re feeling too fat to be photographed . . . Listen. I hear you. You’re a few pounds heavier than you like (or a 100lbs heavier than you like). I completely understand how you feel. I get that same blah feeling about myself when I think about booking new head shots or long overdue pictures of me and Justin. Precious, I even picked a career that has me permanently behind the camera rather than in front of it. Seeing myself in pictures actually produces the faintest sick feeling in my stomach. Isn’t it amazing we can see the beauty in our best friends, sisters, mothers, and aunts without the slightest thought to their flaws . . . but can obsess for hours on our own imperfections? We fixate on our flaws to the point we shirk at any documentation that our round faces and curvy bodies ever walked the earth. No pictures to show how we LOVE, how we laugh, how we are treasured by our families. How is it possible that a double chin can overpower the beauty of a mother cuddling her child? How does arm fat distract from the perfect shot of a spontaneous hug? I swear y’all . . . how is it that we can put more value on a TUMMY ROLL than the captivating way you throw yourself into a roar of laughter during a shoot?

In our warped minds pictures become frozen mirrors that we can stare at as we pick apart our features over and over again.
I know girl. I know. My personal duck-and-cover (or signature “make a funny face”) approach to having pictures of myself changed completely when I had a serious car accident last year (http://myfriendteresablog.com/?p=541) (and started over (http://myfriendteresablog.com/?p=652)). In the flash of a second (or a flash of the text message the young woman was reading) my entire life changed. I nearly left this earth with no physical evidence of the goofy, wide open and loud love I have for my life, my husband, my family and friends. I haven’t had professional pictures done since our wedding in 2006 . . . always waiting for this elusive moment where I would be thin enough (pretty enough) to have such a permanent record of me. Because, you know, HEAVEN FORBID there be any proof that I look the way I actually look.
So here is the harsh truth y’all. Listen good. Our vanity is no longer enough of a reason to avoid the camera. Life doesn’t wait until you “get thin” enough to capture it. Life is happening . . . it is happening right now and the only moment we are guaranteed is the one we are living. I shudder at the thought of leaving behind no pictures of my life with ME in it. My mom says of the accident she is “just glad that we’re still a whole family.” My gift to her this Christmas was a family portrait showing just that, 9 months post-accident . . . a whole family.

http://myfriendteresablog.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/01/Smith-19-590x392.jpg (http://myfriendteresablog.com/so-youre-feeling-too-fat-to-be-photographed/smith-19/)
Do you know what my mom sees when she looks at this picture? Her beautiful family all together.
Do you know what my husband sees? The family he gained the moment he met me (and how much he looks like my dad…)
Do you know what my dad sees? The happy family he has worked for every day of his life.
Do you know what my brother sees? That he got away with wearing shorts… http://myfriendteresablog.com/wp-includes/images/smilies/icon_smile.gif
Shocker: No one is looking at how fat I look. ;
Can we agree to put the value of family over the value of fat? Can we just accept that the weight you’ve been trying to lose for 5 years might actually just be a part of what you look like . . . and that if this magical day does come when you’re acceptably thin you’ll STILL regret not having any pictures of you with your kids from ages 5 – 10? Can we acknowledge that the insecurities we have in our heads will never be a part of how our children, husbands, and friends see us? Can we just please let our loved ones remember the YOU they love?
Your children want pictures with their mom.
Your husband wants pictures with his beautiful wife.
Your mom and dad want pictures of the happy, successful, amazing woman they raised (ok, and more pictures of the grandkids while you’re at it)
And if you’re thinking that high school friend on Facebook will say to herself (“wow she has gained weight”) then . . . newsflash you DID. You gained weight. Shed a tear. Read a book. Drink a Sweet Tea. Watch Oprah. Whatever it takes. Accept this reality . . . YOU GAINED WEIGHT. The truth is you’ve gained a lot of other things too (a career, a family, some kids, a house, a love for travel, the ability to coordinate your separetes . . . ) and that girl from high school is going to spend a lot more time hating on those things then she ever will on your double chin.
So you’re feeling too fat to be photographed? . . . Ok. But you’re the only one who notices. The rest of us are too caught up in loving you.
;"

[ShyMer]

lovely read, thank you for sharing, J&R.

I understand what she's talking about though- when I look at other people who are the same size or heavier than i am, it's easy to see the beauty in them, but all I can see in the mirror is baby fat :/ I'm working on a more positive self image, but sometimes it's harder than others.

[Thalassa]

I am so sharing this with my mom. We have great times but she always refuses to be videoed corded or photographed. I keep telling her I want posterity to know what an awesome mother I have, but she keeps focusing on her weight, the gaps between her teeth...all these things that I love and don't notice because they're a part of my mother!

[Usagi]

lovely read, thank you for sharing, J&R.

I understand what she's talking about though- when I look at other people who are the same size or heavier than i am, it's easy to see the beauty in them, but all I can see in the mirror is baby fat :/ I'm working on a more positive self image, but sometimes it's harder than others.
MY LIFE. Being a girl stinks. I ended up having a sob fest the other day when I was telling my boyfriend about how I realized just how crooked my face is (I have a crossbite). Changing your opinion of yourself is really hard. ):

[Zelly]

This is so beautifully written. I am going to share this with my family. We have serious "I'm too fat" issues being passed around.

[Tasha Mermaid]

This is beautiful, thankyou for sharing.
I am fat and curvy too and although most days i don't like what i look like (not all days, some days i think "hellooooo sexy" lol) i wear clothes that compliment my shape, but yet i have always been a lover of the camera, even as a child i HAD to be in pics (and pushing my little brothers out of them lol) even though i don't have the best self esteem i adore photos, i adore taking them and i adore being in them, YES sometimes i look at them and think "i look to fat there" but i think photos are the best type of memories, camera's make me smile, i cant help it i just have never been camera shy, yet i don't like being in a room full of people because i feel "too fat" (i am an oddity) i see it this way.....IF i manage to loose the weight (and i really try hard) would i not want a record to show my struggles???? ...What if i had a kid who was dealing with the same struggles, would i not want to show them that i too understand, that i had "been through it" and that it CAN happen???? ........i was never body conscious as a teen, my step mum was the one who forced me to be by years of being told daily that "no one would ever love a fat person", thing was she was just taking her own insecurities out on me because she was big. In the end beauty is in the eye of the beholder :)

[Nyx]

That is absolutely wonderful, thank you for sharing!

[Mermaid Danielle]

Beautiful, thanks for sharing!

[Spindrift]

That was really cute :)

[Lois]

thanks I needed that :)