CYBER-BULLYING

[Lois]

Okay so this is an issue I think needs raising. I have seen allot of argument and personal attacks on this forum which aren't very nice and it upsets me. I hate to think what sort of argument are being thrown around in PMs and on facebook :(

It was Comic Relief today in the UK and I saw this story on the telly. I think you should all watch this campaign, as everyone can do something to stop incidents like this happening whether it be on mernetwork, facebook, in school or in work. Some people can distance themselves from the cyber world, but, at times it can wear all of us down and no matter how hard you try to ignore it you can't. This is worse in teenagers and young adults whose brains have not fully developed. So please spread the word Cyber Bullying affects real lives and it needs to stop.

<http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zj0oBvcMQMY>

I had a friend from school who took 40 paracetamol tablets after being cyber bullied over the internet on Bebo. She survived, but only just. If anyone else wants to share there experiences or just wants help. I think we should leave this as a place to discuss it.

I hope this thread doesnt cause any drama.
Thank you for reading

[Coradion]

Thank you for being proactive in trying to help, I'll be honest some people on here can make me very frustrated and the trend is that some individuals go from 0 to 100 in one post. It really is sad, and while I can't change everyone you're right Lois. I'll make a better effort to approach things more calmly from now on and try and do my part to make a better community.

[Blondie]

This is my take on cyber bullying.

I think that it is honestly the most dumbest thing that has been lately blown out of proportion. Are people on the internet mean? Yes. Will you most likely get teased/insulted/harassed at least once in your life on the internet? Yes. Are there ways out of it? Yes. How

Click. The. Ignore. Button.

I am so sick and tired of hear people complaining how they were made fun of or harassed by someone on reddit/facebook/omegle/any social networking site. People FAIL to realize you have SO much control on the internet. First of all I'd love to highlight the ignore button. You can ignore certain people completely to your liking. Sure they can make another account, but you can ALSO ignore that as well! And the next and the next. Eventually, the person will stop when you stop playing their game.

Secondly, I'd like to introduce this other policy. "If you don't want to read it. Don't." You can completely not even take notice to a bully online. In real life, they can follow you and not shut up. The beauty with the internet is you can see a message from them and just delete it. You don't even have to indulge yourself and waste time reading it.

Thirdly, I'd love explain the X button. Close. The. Window. Getting harassed on Omegle? Close out of it. Don't like what people are saying on Reddit? Close out of it. Don't like whatever on the internet? Close. Out. Of. It. It is not hard.

Cyber bullying is a two person effort. I'd like to say the victim basically does it to themselves. No one is making you read anything. And if things got to a seriously concerning standpoint, call the police. It is not hard to do. Victims of cyber bullying need to realize this is the world. People are mean, people are stupid, people like to run their mouths. Personally, I think it is completely unorthodox to KILL yourself over something you have SO much control over!

Get smart people and take control. It's your life and you can turn it which ever way you want.

[Thalassa]

I PARTIALLY agree with Blondie. I agree that there are a lot of people who get their sensitive feelings hurt and cry cyber-bully when they could easily ignore. However, I also had a friend who was bullied off the charts. The bullies posted her pictures and personal information to a drama site. She got phone calls, emails, physical letters from people she didn't even know harrassing, insulting and threatening her. She moved across the city and changed her phone, some still went through the trouble of tracking her down (don't know how) and posted that NEW information. It became a game, hunting her down, posting her location, even posting pictures of her stalker-style. She literally had to move across states, change her name, leave her profession, leave everything behind and there are STILL some people (2 years later) that haven't let it go. So yes, while you can ignore some things, it's not always guaranteed that "eventually" they will leave you alone. And in the meantime, it's taking its toll on your confidence and emotional health. So it is a real thing, and it's not.

Oh, and yes, she tried pressing charges, got a few restraining orders and stuff, but it didn't do anything really to help her.

[Thalassa]

More to the point, I think: Now, I'm not privy to EVERYTHING that's gone on (actually, rather in the dark about a lot of it), but from what I've seen on the forum it hasn't exactly reached what I would consider to be cyber-bullying standpoints. That would be, like, posting on every picture of them that they're fat or bad-looking or horrible. It would be posting in every thread about them the same negative thing. And I've only seen that, like, once a while ago. Then again, I'm not in on all of the behind-the-scenes stuff, so who knows?

I'm all for being kind on the internet. Just because someone can not read it/hit the ignore does not excuse your behavior as a rotten person. Nor does "Don't judge me, that's just my style." Pardon my language, but if your style is that of an @sshole, prepare to be thought of as an @sswhole, whether it's "your style" or not. We should all definitely endeavor to be more caring and kind on the internet. Even though "it's just the internet" doesn't mean we can't try to make it a better place.

[MerAnthony]

Bulling in any case is just wrong no matter how you look at it. If it is cyber or in person. An basicly it starts as drama then spreds like wild fire an people don't know what to believe. So they take one persons opinion of a person an blows it all to hell. An over time it takes it toll on a person. I know it happened to me while I was growing up. But in any case, It is just wrong an should be nipped in the bud before it gets out of hand.

[MerEmma]

For like entirely, I agree with Blondie.

There are very few cases in which cyber bullying is actually serious. Those would be death threats. That's it. Anything that serious is about the only time I sympathize (sp?) people for being upset about it. Someone calling you names online should not bother you. It's the Internet.

[Mermaid Caidence]

On my youtube videos, I rarely get nasty comments other then the usual "fake!", but when someone says something bad, that's what you remember throughout the entire day.Each positive comments raise your spirits and make you happy, but then a negative comment can just tear down several positive comments. I mean sure you can just not read it, but that can be difficult of you're just strolling through comments and stumble across them. It's not like it's one of those" you're already reading this so don't stop now" comments. If its one person you can just block them, but to block them they need to have done something, that you read, which means the damage is already done.

[Kanti]

Hmm yea I agree with Blondie.

There are four ways to react to a bully, imo. You can either, get just as agressive back to them and then it becomes a contest at who's the dominant person, you can get sad which makes the bully aware he is more dominant than you and that he can continue doing it to you whenever he wants to feel in charge, you can try to run away which just makes the bully realize he can chase you and you will react so often they will go to the lengths of "how far will this person go", and finally, you can simply ignore them completely, which gives the bully no reaction to feed from. You're not trying to be dominant or submissive, you're simply telling the bully that he's not even worth your time. All bullying is done for the reaction that comes with it, if you give no reaction, you're boring to them, and they will find someone else.

Think of it like an agressive dog, if the dog wants to bother and chase you around, if you run from it, you're essentially "playing along" and the dog will continue to chase you, if you stand completely still and ignore the dog and don't show it that it's not any means of a threat, it will eventually give up because it was looking for a reaction that you did not give it. Hence probably why people who continue to run and move schools still get bullied (Thalassa's friend probably)

Serinessa's example is more of a troll, not an actual bully. Internet trolls are usually random and don't continue to persue you individually, they often just work for the shock value of things. A troll saying your video is "fake and gay" and then leaving is a lot different than a bully who sticks around to annoy you constantly. Unfortunately youtube is just full of stuff like that, again, it's the internet. You can shut down the comments if they're all completely negative or just realize that there are people out there who just want to do mean things for the sake of it.
Whenever someone does a negative comment on my channels I don't take it to heart, often I go to their channel to take a look at the person they are and more often than not, it's a blank account with no videos, no profile pic etc. So I mean, who even cares about a nobody account.

I don't think there's really a problem on this forum about people who don't use the block button enough. We've had a couple isolated instances where people complain about being stalked over facebook or responding to facebook things, but I don't exactly feel sorry for them because they ALWAYS respond back to the bully rather than just INGORING them. In that sense, they're asking for a continuation of mean things when, just like Blondie said, all you have to do is press the damn block button to shut them up -__-
I think the real problem is we have people who seem to like to START their own fights. People who will say something of shock value in order to get a rise out of a target person or people who take photos of conversations on facebook and post it all over so everyone can gawk at "what s/he said". We have people who like drama too much which in turn becomes bullying because they KNOW which targets react the best to suit their craving for it.