A change in heart about being a mermaid?

[Blondie]

So I've been into mermaids since forever... I didn't actually get into the hobby until I was 13. Now I'm 19 and I'm feeling... Indifferent.

For the past year and a half I've been an avid mernetworker. I've been really involved with learning more about the hobby, meeting new people, doing crafts, and most importantly owning my own tail. Last summer I never felt so into the mer community. I spent countless hours watching youtube videos, following facebooks, and staying on the mernetwork. I bought my Fish Butt last summer and felt so accomplished.

When I got my tail, I went to the meet up we had in Florida in September. It was amazing. I absolutely loved each second of it. Then... Winter came.

This whole winter I've felt more and more out of love with mermaiding. The idea to sell my tail has always been dwelling upon me. Now that I'm in college and possibly getting a dorm in the fall, I feel like it won't get a proper use. I've only used my tail twice. And I just have such an issue with going out and swimming in it. Especially in my area because I'm well known in the community because of my job/internship.

I feel like I just don't have the time or money to dedicate to the hobby anymore. This summer I wanted to experiment with silicone and making a type of silicone top. But I feel like I won't be able to afford it. And I don't know how much I'll even swim in my tail this summer. Ugh I just feel like a kid leaving never land...

TLDR; Should I tread away from the hobby? Should I sell my tail to make some money? Has this happened to others?

[Winged Mermaid]

I find there are times whenever people stray away from mermaiding for a while. It depends on the person.. some for months, some for years, some never come back. I've had spells of this myself, though I admit it never got as far as seriously considering selling my (main) tail. Though I was afraid that mermaids would lose their magic for me forever, and that was a very depressing thought indeed. I know even Raven, who is like the Mermaid Queen and eats breathes and sleeps mermaids, has gone on breaks to just "be Raven" for a while instead of "Mermaid Raven". She's just one example but I've seen it several times with other well known mermaids, and loads of others in the community. It's one reason why we have users go in and out so often. Sometimes life gets in the way, or leads you in a different direction, or just suspends the passion/hobby for a while before it reappears in your life. You just have to see.

A lot of times for me talking less and doing more is a good cure for the mermaid blues. It's great to get on and talk with other mers and share ideas and all that, but it's not the same as doing it- doing it is living it! That's another kind of mermaid blues on its own I've found. Sometimes the cure is to just go and do.

In the end it's up to you. Just don't rush into anything you'll regret- take your time with it. I would say wait until the end of the summer, and if you feel disengaged and still really want to sell your tail and move on then do so. But I've seen people around who feel that way then summer comes around and it kicks back in. I think only time will tell, my dear.

[Moonflower]

Sure, there's months and months I go without even thinking of mermaiding. I have tons of other hobbies, plus work, that need my attention. However, when the opportunity to swim in my tail is presented to me, I have a very hard time ignoring it. I love to swim, but now, not being in a tail feels weird to me.

I guess what I'm saying is, don't sell unless you really don't feel the need to swim in your tail again. If the idea no longer appeals to you, there's nothing wrong with that, but if you feel that spark, don't deny it.

I hope to see you at the meet in June, even if you decide afterwards you're done with the hobby <3

[Thalassa]

I'd wait till summer is more fully here to decide. I'm still new enough to mermaiding that it hasn't worn off on me yet, but I've experienced this with other hobbies. Especially with expensive hobbies, you start to wonder if its worth the time and money you're spending. My advice is: by all means, take a break! Sometimes a while away is good. Then, if you find yourself thinking you'd like to mermaid again, go ahead and come back.

Now as for selling your tail...I'm sorry, I don't remember what kind of tail you have (you may have said it in your post, but tapatalk won't let me scroll and look). But I wouldn't sell it unless it's one that could be replaced fairly easily. SO many times I've sold an item I hadn't worn in a while and thought I'd fallen out of love with, only to want it again for some occasion. I either had to go without or spend more money to buy it again. The exception to this would be 1) if you hate the sight of your tail, or 2) if you need the money really badly.

[MermaidBrittany]

Yeah, I wouldn't sell your tail or anything, just wait till summer. I have gone through the months where I haven't done much with mers, and it doesn't mean you don't like it. It just means it needs to be put on the back burner because other things in your life are more prominent. :)

Also, you don't need to swim in a tail to love mermaids :) True its fun, but not a necessity.

[halesloveswhales]

We have faith that you'll make the right choice for yourself, and if you decide to quit, then we'll always be here for you when you want to come back. I say wait a while to sell your tail. It's beautiful, and I think you'll want to wear it again at some point!

If you're looking to revive your mermaid spirit, I suggest doing some volunteer work as a mermaid. Read to Kindergarten classrooms, visit a children's hospital. One of the things that keeps me doing what I do is the starry eyes of the kids I do it for. Knowing that you make a difference in others' lives makes it feel so much better than just swimming for your own benefit! :)

[FreshWaterMermaid]

I don't think of mermaiding as a hobby. I've always felt like it's part of me. I hope you get through your slump. I know it's hard when you can't get out and go swimming but that just makes me want it more ^_^

Sent from my DROIDX using Tapatalk 2

[MerEmma]

Since you've only swum once, I feel like it might be that you don't get enough chances to enjoy the hobby maybe? Taking a break is always good but I'd personally like to recommend going for a swim on your own to get away.

[Mermaid Dottie]

We all have something we fall in love with as teenagers and then "grow out of" when we hit the end of high school/ start of college. For me it was writing fantasy. Sometimes you return to it, sometimes you don't. but you always cherish the memories.
I wouldn't sell your tail, though. I remember my mom telling us about the things she used to do. "can you still play fiddler on the roof?" "I don't know. I sold my violin."
"What happened to that dress you made that Stevie Nicks copied?" "I got rid of it." "What happened to the stuff you won racing cars on the salt flats?" "Oh I dunno. Its gone."
And my face was always :jawdrop:

[SeaGlass Siren]

I felt the same way beginning of grade nine. But then I noticed I became more unhappier with myself. I only picked it up this year again. ... So it's been about maybe 7 years.

[Kanti]

Mermaiding is certainly a seasonal hobby. Not everyone has an indoor pool they can go to when things get cold and even if they do sometimes they don't have the nicest tail so they don't feel especially brave about going.
I can understand that it's tough and you might want a break to focus on other things but I would honestly go with keeping your tail. You got yours for $200 which is a pretty good price. When/if you decide to get another one you can either choose to go with Stevi again (which may or may not be a risky decision in the future) or go for a higher end tail. So it'll cost you more money in the longrun. Especially since selling your tail won't get you the $200 I don't think? *shrug*

[Spindrift]

Sounds like you're just getting burned out for a bit. Step back, take a break, do other things (how's belly dancing going?) and jump in again when you feel ready (or when some awesome new video/tailmaker/whatever comes up) :)

[Delphine]

Well, I second Spindrift's advice. Getting burnt out can happen with just about anything. I go to art school, see people get burnt out with one medium & art-making frequently. Go with your gut, as they say. I wish you the best, and if you get a chance to go swimming, perhaps at a friend's pool with them?, it may give you an indicator where your heart currently lies. Do you have a larger photo of your tail or when you went swimming in it? Sometimes even looking back at those sparks the excitement up again.

[Mermaid Tula]

I'm in the same boat as Delphine. I'm in school for fine arts, and I see people who 'just' paint get bored, so they try out something new for a while, miss the painting aspect, and come back to it to find that they're feeling refreshed and not so burnt out anymore.

[Stede Bonnet]

As an observer, I wonder if you might find some enthusiasm in engaging your Facebook fan base, of which I am a proud member. You may know me there as Matthew Morse.

If you are comfortable, just share something about yourself. It doesn't have to be freediving, breath holds, and swimming along the Great Barrier Reef. For goodness sake, Hannah Fraser, whom *I* consider to be the queen of the mermaids (although Raven is certainly a princess), often just posts a bunch of photos of mermaid art.

We don't all have jobs performing at hotels, own tail businesses, or run mermaid shops. Some of us don't have tails, or perhaps aren't even that good of swimmers.

Sometime, it's just okay to say "I had a grilled cheese sandwich for lunch." It doesn't have to be Shakespeare. It just has to be genuine.

I hope to see something from you on http://www.facebook.com/MermaidBlondie (https://www.facebook.com/MermaidBlondie) soon.

[SeaGlass Siren]

I agree with mathew. I jut have a regular office job :|

[AniaR]

Personally, I feel there are natural ups and downs. Sometimes I'm more involved in the community, sometimes I'm not. Sometimes I'm doing loads of gigs- and sometimes I look at my tail and sigh! Lots of things can make you feel sorta worn out from this hobby- just like any other hobby. You may feel differently once the warm weather comes!

I wouldn't sell it just yet :)

[Blondie]

Thanks everyone :) Means a lot you read my rant.

I think you're all right. I won't sell my tail until the end of the summer. I don't expect to make a lot of money off of it, I mean even if it's $100 at least it's getting a new home and will be doing something other than sitting in my closet. It's just such a beautiful tail. I feel like it doesn't get any action because I just can't swim in it. I hate yet love being a known face in my community. The biggest downfall is you're "the face" and you can't ruin your image... Blah...

I think I suffer from SAD (Seasonal affective disorder). Every winter I just go into a slump and can't do anything other than wake up and go to school. Even at work I just have a hard time doing anything. Thankfully spring is here and I feel so much better. I've been working harder and enjoying myself more. I think those who said mermaiding is a seasonal hobby are right. When the winter comes here, there are no indoor pools. So I stay out of the water until May. I just hate the cold in all forms.

I really don't want to take a break from mermaiding. I still love the network, and I love talking to people on it. I just... I don't know. I feel like I'm getting to that point where I see people who buy very elaborate tails and I'm like "Really? Was it worth all that money? You could of used it for more." And I feel like I'm starting to get disconnected.

I've never really been into my facebook page honestly. I'm not responsible enough for it xD And it's not like I do anything professional with mermaiding. I don't think I'm very good with kids. I don't understand how they work. (I guess? xD ) I sort of like "Oh hey yooou... Down there...." I've never really been around babies/toddlers. So I don't have that quality. So I don't know if I'd be the one to go out and read to kids in my tail. I'm just so tail bashful still.

Hopefully I can go to Moonflower's meet up and I'll be out of this slump. Maybe I'll try to do some mermaid crafts and think about doing silicone tops. I don't know. We'll have to see! Thank you everyone!

[Mermaid Tula]

Blondie, I have SAD as well. One thing you might want to try is getting a UV lamp. Or at least 'natural light' light bulbs. They have helped me out a bit during the winter.

Also, I recommend going to your doctor and talk about them about SAD. I'm on an antidepressant to help. and it does help out a lot. I would get really disinterested in things that I loved. I would snap at people I loved. Hell, I would get to the point of locking myself away from everything and just lay there alone, feeling empty and awful.

So I went to my doctor to talk about it. I was prescribed medication, and the light and a vitamin mix.

So far it's helped me out. I don't loose interest as much, I'm not as snappy or pulled away from people.

[SeaGlass Siren]

A lot of north Americans have SAD. My mother has it too. But who doesn't feel the winter blues right? :p

[AptaMer]

you're "the face" and you can't ruin your image...


Just wondering Blondie, how would being a mermaid fan ruin your image? Not trying to throw a wrench in the works or anything . . . I just don't understand, because in Canada where I live people think being a mermaid is pretty cool, and seem to really like it?

[SeaGlass Siren]

Apta of course we are mer open to everything. It's Canada, we've got gay rights an allowed the blacks from America to come in to escape slavery and racism

[SeaGlass Siren]

Some places just aren't as open minded as others.

[Blondie]

It's nice because I live in Florida. The winters don't last very long here. But even my grades would slip up in the winter. However that was not the case this year. I actually DO feel better when I drink orange juice. I think a vitamin would do me good. And yeah, I know I'm not the only one who has SAD. I think it's extremely common. I just hate feeling like I don't want to do anything other than sleep. I feel like hibernating in the winter xD

@Apta: Well yes, like Andrea said there are closed minded people out there. I do live in an "upper class" area. And the people are really well... Rich, snobby, conformists, and closed minded. You're "cool" here if you're successful at a sport and go to a great university and are just the "model" person. There's nothing "different" about you. You're a cookie cutter image of what society should be like. When I'm out in my tail people view me as the college girl who can't grow up. Who's living in a fantasy and is going to go no where. I think it doesn't help because I go to community college. Not to say that's bad but most people in this area don't go there. They go off to UF or FSU. I think if I went to a better university people wouldn't view it that way.

[Ashe]

I always go through this during winter, honestly 'cause it is to cold to go swimming or going to the beach! And not being able to be physically active tends to make me stray from other alternatives (internet) and because of that I don't feel mermaidy anymore.
I've been a mermaid for two winters and now I just tell myself that when warmer weather comes around, I'll be back to my mer self again. And that is totally what happens! As of late, I've been on the forums and YouTube more, and am planning my new tail! I've been meaning to make a thread like this myself, but here we have it :)

[Mermaid Pickles]

I've just read this whole thread all the way through. You're quite clearly not the only one who has this problem (as shown by everyone's responses), and I saw the mention about being tail-shy. I had that problem even with going to the pool in my apartment complex at first. Though after even the high school and middle school kids took a shine to seeing me in the tail, I got over it. You also never know what your schoolmates or coworkers will think until you mention it. I had always shied away from mentioning my mermaiding when I was near my boss until I had my mermaidsrus tail delivered to her office a few weeks ago. I left to go on break and take the tail home, and she LITERALLY said, word for word, "Anna, I opened the box when it got here, and honestly, that is really cool." I was SUPER surprised. I have a few coworkers who say I should do more stuff in my tail during the summer, and who also always want to hear about my new mer-stuff.
On another note, the SAD, my mom has that, and I have somewhat the reverse. I get more melancholy during the summer, and more energetic in winter. Just wait it out, and see where you get. Also, like was mentioned by others, I would advise not to sell it. You never know what you might want it for.

[AptaMer]

@Apta: Well yes, like Andrea said there are closed minded people out there. I do live in an "upper class" area. And the people are really well... Rich, snobby, conformists, and closed minded. You're "cool" here if you're successful at a sport and go to a great university and are just the "model" person. There's nothing "different" about you. You're a cookie cutter image of what society should be like. When I'm out in my tail people view me as the college girl who can't grow up. Who's living in a fantasy and is going to go no where. I think it doesn't help because I go to community college. Not to say that's bad but most people in this area don't go there. They go off to UF or FSU. I think if I went to a better university people wouldn't view it that way.

Thanks for clarifying, Blondie. Oh dear! I do hope you can get through college and end up living and working in a place where you will be surrounded by supportive, non-judgemental people, and can Mer, or do any other thing you want, to your heart's content. :group hug:

[Blondie]

@Kalani : That seems a lot like what I'm going through xD I'll take your advice and preserver through the slump

@Pickles : What a great story! That actually made me smile :) You're right. I've come out more to my family and told my sisters about my tail finally. And I didn't think they would take it gently. They really liked it. My sister tried my tail on and wanted me to take pictures of her in it. It was pretty uplifting since I thought she would have turned her nose up at me and tell me I was weird. But I told my closest friends about it and they took it negatively. They don't understand it and think I waste my money on it. It is highly frustrating.

@Apta : Thank you :) I hope so too. I think I thrive off of acceptance. But that's something that's not quite common these days. I think it gets better as you get older. And I just gotta find those people in my area :)

[Moonflower]

My sister tried my tail on and wanted me to take pictures of her in it. It was pretty uplifting since I thought she would have turned her nose up at me and tell me I was weird. But I told my closest friends about it and they took it negatively. They don't understand it and think I waste my money on it. It is highly frustrating.


I promise you, they are just jealous and have no idea how to say it. Even if they aren't jealous of you having a tail (because what little girl didn't dream of being a mermaid?? Seriously, isn't that why going swimming was so much fun as a kid???), they are jealous of the fact that you are living your life without the constraints they believe society has placed on them. If they tease or scoff, it's because they are scared to admit to themselves that they want to be free as well.

Also, I look at the crap most girls spend money on and I feel like turning my nose up at them, but because it's "normal", I get grief for it... For example, why does anyone need more than one bag for all their crap?? The only reason I own more than one is they are all half stuffed animals (Mokona from MKR and Totoro) or one is my every day bag and the other is a computer bag. None of my bags have ever cost me more than 40.00, and even that seems high to me... Then I see these girls who spend hundreds on a designer name, and I just want to scream at them for paying the markup just to advertise for those designers! This goes for any designer anything! Sorry, rant over...

If it helps, try taking Vitamin D3 supplements when you're feeling down. D3 is what our bodies create from being in the sun, so ingesting some may help with your condition. I, personally (though I don't suffer from SAD but rather like the immunity boost it gives me) take 1 5,000IU pill every other day. Also, look into St. John's Wort and Valerian Root if you're feeling down, as they are natural mood-lifters without side effects (other than terrible tasting burps, so take them with food <3).

Do you see how many of us want you to be happy? Because you deserve to be, no matter what you choose to do in the end <3

[MermaidHyli]

I completely agree with Comatose, try talking to your doctor get on some vitamin D. I don't have SAD but I was born without a thyroid so my body does not naturally produce vit. D and so I can get really really depressed easily especially in the cold climate. But what I've found to help is the vitamins and also tanning in a tanning bed. Now before people jump down on me I'm getting married in June so I'm doing this 1. so I don't have to burn the first part of summer 2. so I look tan for my wedding and don't burn on the honeymoon and 3. I'm literally doing it for 2-3 months and quitting and 4. because it tricks my body into thinking it's getting vit. D and therefore makes me a whole happier person. I would say wait till the summer get out and try new mermaiding things. Make some hair clips, a top, a belt anything that you think will help get you back into the swing of things. It takes time and a spark of desire but I think with both those things you will bounce back in no time. We all go through it..I don't think mermaids were meant to endure the cold harsh winters so we should all move somewhere warm =]

[Blondie]

@ Moonflower: You're so sweet girl <3 Always have my back. Unfortunately, my friends are guys xD I don't think they understand. Some of them collect guns so I try to explain my hobby that way. I'm into mermaids as they're into guns. But they just think it's so silly. My one girl friend gets it. But we don't talk about it. She accepts through. I'm the same way with bags xD I'm pretty anti purse. I JUST started carrying one. But I've always been anti brand name. I don't understand why having a named brand purse is such a big deal... I'm going to pick up some of those vitamins then. And we'll go from there to see what happens xD

@MermaidHyli: You know I actually considered tanning beds in the winter. Since I lifeguard in the summer. I spend most of my days out in the sun every day. And when the winter comes and I'm in the off season. I think my body doesn't know what to do because it doesn't see the sun as much. I thought that maybe a tanning bed would help. But my mom would probably be livid if I did that. She's gotten TONS of moles taken off of her because she was addicted to tanning beds. But I see the method to your madness there xD

[Mer_Adella]

I just moved from MI to AL and let me tell you I am wishing upon a star for my new tail so I can go mermaiding. I have gone the whole winter only swimming twice. Life does get in the way. I worked on other hobbies and went back to doing photoshoots, hair accessories, and such. Then I will naturally stray away for a bit. But next thing you know I am back in the swimming game. It's natural to decide "to be or not to be" and THAT is the the question (need alert for quoting Shakespeare)
but I guess there are times where you just have to decide; put away for a while or put away for good.
I am planning a meet up with Nerine and a few others for this may. Hppefully some of you can make it and get to meet others for inspiration, helpful hints/suggestions, OR OUR OWN SUPPORT GROUP!!!
MA= mermaids anonymous lol