The beginning of the end

[Lotus]

I want everyone to knowI thing you are all amazing, and I love you! I have to leave this part of my life behind for the sake of my marriage. I'm so sorry. Please PM me if you need a tail or any particular mermaid items.
I've just given up on this dream. I hope you guys don't. It's a beautiful dream. Be stronger than me. :)

[Goldie]

I hate this for you :(

[Stede Bonnet]

We haven't had a chance to have a great deal of interaction, but suffice it to say that it is disheartening to read of your decision.

Setting something aside for the sake of a perceived greater good draws upon different powers altogether, and in that regard, you have a great deal of strength.

I wish you all of the best.

[Mermaid Annariea]

that is so sad. i don't really know the story, but the fact that you said "for the sake of [your] marriage" makes me so, so sad and angry. i can only hope that it's not your significant other forcing you to give this up.

i wish you the best. <3

[Mermaid Varshana]

I've gotten the gist that the matters involved are really, really complicated. Having been in a position that somewhat resembles this one, there is literally NO amount of lecturing you can actually give to someone in this spot who's hoping against hope that cycling through this high-stakes bargaining/conceding in a screwed up relationship will appease the unappeasable. You can just kind of be there for support. I hope you work this out, Lotus. This is a rough thing.

[Madline mermaid]

aw thats so sad! you will always have this as a part of u :)

[Felicia]

I'm sorry this is happening. But I wish you the best

[AniaR]

this breaks my heart. PM ME if you need to talk! <3

[Mermaid Marissa]

This 100% breaks my heart. No one should have to give up one a dream no matter what it is. I tried to message you and your inbox was full :( I feel awful doing this, but if you could message me? I'd really appreciate it :$ and if you just needed someone to talk to I'm always open to that as well

[Mermaid Dottie]

Even though you're leaving behind the tail, you will always be a mermaid. Heaven Bless You.
May our paths cross again one day. I will think of you.

[LittleTreasure]

I'm so sorry Lotus. I don't know the situation but I hope everything works out beautifully for you, whether we see you again or not.

[Mermaid Tula]

My heart goes out to you Lotus. I hope things work out for you. I know we haven't really talked much, but if you want to talk, my pm are always open to you!

[Mizuko]

<3 wishing you all the best in whatever you choose to do in life :)

[MerAnthony]

:sad eyes::hug:

[Mermaid Pickles]

This makes me so sad, and I'm not even going to ask why you have to give it up, having had my mother be in a possibly (somewhat) similar situation. However, I will wish you the best of luck in life, and I think my mother would say to keep at least one small thing to remind you of your experiences. She keeps the objects she kept in a box. This still makes me really sad, though.

[Mermaid Varshana]

Do you mind me asking what your mom gave up, Pickles?

[Mermaid Pickles]

She wanted to keep her job in the DOD, as she really enjoyed it, and wanted to paint more in her free time, but my dad wanted to move somewhere else, and he wouldn't take no for an answer, so she gave up her really awesome job, had to get rid of a lot of her art stuff, and moved to another state with my dad.

[Mermaid Varshana]

Ouch. That really sucks :/ My mom did a similar thing when she gave up Journalism and being in the military.

[Mermaid Pickles]

Though, if she hadn't, I'd not be around, sooooo...But still. Yeah.

[Mermaid Kassandra]

No please!Don't leave your dream die!This makes me cry..... :'(

[Lotus]

I wanted to share something that happened yesterday after I posted this....
I had made the decision to just forget about mermaiding because I thought it would make things better at home. I packed everything mermaid related into my car and threw my little fit on here- frustrated and angry to the point of just about losing it all together.... and after I had thrown it all into the cargo hold, I slammed the door and went inside to scream into a pillow. When my husband got home, I went running. Then I went for a bike ride. I broke down crying twice while I was running, but not while riding since he wanted to come along and was right behind me. I got up this morning and went out to grab my stuff and start taking pics to post and looked at it all heaped in there for the first time without being so upset.... all that time and hard work. All those dreams and all that pride and happiness thrown into a corner.... I DON'T WANT TO LEAVE ANYMORE OF MYSELF BEHIND. Little by little, for years and years, I've let the things I care about go by the wayside because they "don't fit" with "our" life- and I'm totally sick of it. So I made a more rational decision. I'm taking everything to my Mom and Dads, and putting it in my old bedroom. I'm going to put it someplace I know it'll be safe until I can, thru therapy and life-style modification, learn to either stand up for myself in this relationship or find the strength to leave it altogether. Thank you all for being here- I hope you can forgive me for going on such a crazy-ass tangent yesterday. I'd like it very much if I can lean on you guys still while I work this out.

[Mermaid Pickles]

I'm glad you didn't throw it away, and putting it in a safe place until you can figure out what to do sounds like a great plan. And you may certainly lean on me for support, I don't know about everyone else, but I'll do my best to help!

[Mermaid Varshana]

Bullies make us think we have to change so much to fit them, or else, don't they? Don't worry, this community is so awesome and supportive.

remember...if you do decide to leave, you have my word that it will not be the end of the world, other people will find you beautiful and ravishing, and there ARE lots of people out there who think that this stuff is cool! Moreover, i know it doesnt seem like it now because you've been beaten so far down, but you deserve it! :)

[Goldie]

There is nothing to forgive. I am just glad to see you feeling better.
:)

[LittleTreasure]

Kudos for holding on to what is important to you. You can't let someone else control what you do with your life. It's yours. I hope everything works out okay.

[Echidna]

Hopefully I won't sound condescending, but:
from what you wrote, it's obvious your merstuff means A LOT to you.
And why wouldn't it?
You put in time, money, effort, and emotion.

As long as it means something to you, you should never ever give it up.
And someone who really loves you should actually encourage you to keep anything that makes you happy, regardless what THEY think about it.

I hope you will find a way to keep your wonderful hobby.

[Lotus]

Caltuna, that doesn't sound condescending at all. I agree with you. That's why I decided to just relocate my stuff for a little bit and figure out how to deal with this intensely stressful situation. I sometimes make very foolish, rash decisions when I'm really upset- so I feel like it's safer to keep the stuff in a safe place a half hour or so from my house. It'll force me to calm down and think before I act on a stupid impulse. Getting rid of what I love isn't gonna make my husband respect me anyway.

[Merman Dan]

Lotus,

I wish you good health and strength during this matter. Hold fast to your dreams and never let go.

My wife and I will celebrate our 20th anniversary this year - not bad for meeting in an online chat room, eh? - but she knew I was an oddball from day one. We certainly do not agree with one another on every aspects of our lives, but we respect one another and strive for a healthy compromise when one can be reached. Otherwise we give one another plenty of personal space when it is needed. Fortunately neither of us are overly concerned with the opinions of others, so that's a bonus.

Respect begins with oneself. The rest will fall into place.

[Mermaid Dottie]

I believe in you. One way or another, you will come out of this a stronger person.

[Mermaid Allie]

Lotus I really hope everything works out. Gosh, human relationships are SO DIFFICULT.

[Ashe]

Aw, I'm so sorry! I do hope that you can come out of this stronger and that you won't permanently give this up. I think I know why you chose this, but I won't say. Until you can hopefully regain your ground, I wish you all the luck in the world :hug:

[Mermaid Stark]

That's sad! I'm sorry. I wish you all the best with your life! <3

[Mermaid Tula]

I'm happy that you haven't given up mermaiding completely. You shouldn't have to give up something that makes you happy. Especially since you've been letting things go just so that you can fit into the mold of "Our life" rather than having a bit of "My life" and "His life" as well. Finding balance is a great thing, hard, but great. Again, like everyone has said, we're here for you!