<3 Love Questions <3

[Arella]

I thought it would be fun if people posted answers to these questions because I think that love is really vague and I am genuinely interested in what you guys think.

1. What exactly is love?

2. How do you know of you are in love?

3. Does love change as a relationship does?

4. Can you fall in and out of love?

5. If so, how do you know when this has happened?

6. What is the difference between the lust/honeymoon stage and feelings after that stage?

[Mermaid Varshana]

1. What exactly is love?: A deep sense of affection and regard for someone who is or once was close to you, and empowers you to want to make their life better

2. How do you know of you are in love?: When you know you want your life deeply entwined with theirs, and you will go to great lengths just to see them smile.

3. Does love change as a relationship does?: Of course it does!

4. Can you fall in and out of love?: Yes, and it's absolutely necessary for your life and sanity.

5. If so, how do you know when this has happened?: I've moved on from breakups.

6. What is the difference between the lust/honeymoon stage and feelings after that stage?: Opponent process theory is the natural process where your brain balances out intense emotions, because the body needs balance, or homeostasis. It's not a bad thing when that magical high feeling "fades." It's supposed to. When one intense emotion starts, the opposing emotion also starts until they balance out. This is why a lot of people "fight on the hook" and are really scared before committing. It's how your brain chemicals keep you sane. For me, though, it comes and goes. The honeymoon stage doesn't have to just be at the beginning. You have to work at it. You can trick your brain to a certain extent.

[AniaR]

Oh this is a neat idea. Gives me a lot to think about!

1. What exactly is love?
I think there are different types of love, with common threads. The love of an object, the love for a pet. The love for a family member, the love for life, the love for a lover. I think on a scientific level love produces euphoria, pheromones, hormones, and adrenals. For me, a lot of what constitutes love has to do with the ability to be yourself with someone or in a situation (for instance, I love being a mermaid- that would be a situation, Sean encourages me to be myself, that would be love and validation with him). Love is a deep intense caring and interest. You may not even be able to explain why it developed.

2. How do you know of you are in love?
I think we can be in different types of love, and the signs are all different. For me when I met my partner it was love at first sight, (actually, first sit next to). I never ever believed in that. I sat next to him, hadn't even looked at him and there was just this attraction and spark. We both looked at eachother and hadn't even introduced ourselves- and I knew I was doomed. At this point, I was actually with someone else and planning to get married (settling, is more like it). I thought it was love because I felt comfortable and safe... but when I met my mertender? Yowza did the alarms ever go off for me!

3. Does love change as a relationship does?
I personally think love evolves and if the relationship is healthy it'll experience natural ups and downs, but ultimately deepen.

4. Can you fall in and out of love?
I don't know. I think you can fall in and out of types of love. You might think like me, that you were in love- mainly because you have nothing to compare it too.

5. If so, how do you know when this has happened?
I think for anyone who has ever had to break up with someone... you know it's either a quick shift where you suddenly don't feel the same anymore, or it's slow and gradual over time. It might be because of experiences, or totally something out of your control.

6. What is the difference between the lust/honeymoon stage and feelings after that stage?
I think lust is a normal thing- scientific. We're meant to procreate at the evolutionary level, so our bodies send signals to each other. I think love is when you want a companion and feel that you've found it in a person or experience. It's fufilling in ways different than lust or attraction, but not necessarily more important.

[Alveric]

I'm probably not the best person to answer this. I married the first woman I got past the third date with and we've been together twenty-eight years now. So I'm not really experienced at love in general.

1. What exactly is love?
The desire to give oneself to another being.

2. How do you know you're in love?
You weren't truly alive til that person entered your life.

3. Does love change as a relationship does?
Yes, ranging from an inferno to a smolder and back again.

4. Can you fall in and out of love?
Yes and I don't know.

5. If so, how do you know when this has happened?
The same way you know when you step off a cliff and when you hit the ground.

6. What is the difference between the lust/honeymoon stage and feelings after that stage?
Words become unnecessary.

Not very informative, I'm afraid, but the best I can do on the fly.