a note from a "fat" girl

[Lotus]

Dear American Media-
Hey, thanks so much for making me feel unwanted, ugly, and painful to look at. It really sucks to look the way I do- because in your eyes, I'm disgusting. I hate you for taking away the pride of motherhood by saying stretch marks are "gross"- I REALLY hate you for making me feel like I'll never truly be wanted or loved by my own husband if I don't look like a silicone barbie doll. Maybe it's time for you to look in the mirror and ask yourself if it's you you really hate? Oh, no, I forgot- you are unable to think beyond the idea of thin and perfect to dare risk self criticism. Thanks for turning honest men into drooling idiots and strong women into sad, isolated, angry "fat chicks".
Yours truly,
Lotus (THE FAT MERMAID)

[Brine]

Lotus, tell me about it....I'm a very glamorous size 28, and not only am I constantly put down because of it, but i have to go out of state usually to find the clothes I need for certain stuff...like swimsuits...I thank god that I have a very good looking man and he hates skinny broads. The best you can do is ignore mainstream media and remember that you're fierce just the way you are.....the only downside so far is that I'm embarrassed to put in an order for my tail, and I have no idea what I'm going to use as a top. I'm thinking a corset top, because I have one that looks amazing and scale like and the "real estate" looks ever so inviting. My whole point, Lotus, dear...is don't lose hope. We glamazons have to stick together.

[deepblue]

Try to remember that most models you see in print are airbrushed. They're not real, anyway.

We're all real women- skinny and voluptuous and everyone in between, we're all more than just our bodies, and we all need to not buy into this crap that pits us against each other and against ourselves.

Because in the end, no matter what anyone else says to you or what you see, we're all responsible for our own self-images. If anyone relies on the world to make you feel good about anything, you're going to find yourself wanting and lacking where you don't.

[Mermaid Varshana]

After realizing that thin still isn't thin ENOUGH, that young women have been trained to hear "healthy" as a code word for "fat," that Twiggy madness and the "heroin chic" of the 90's has killed hundreds of thousands of women, you realize that mass media is bunk that's solely meant to sell shit. Buying into it is unnecessary.

[Mermaid Tula]

I know how you feel Lotus! I'm plus sized. I have rolls, I'm a mom and have stretchmarks as well. I have a huge butt, and my boobs aren't perfectly perky. But you know what, My stretchmarks are my earned tiger stripes. I have a super loving husband who loves me no matter what. And you know what, he doesn't like super skinny women. He likes a woman with pudge! And honestly, the ideals of a skinny woman being sexy is so backwards! In the past, heavy women were sought out because if you were heavy, you were well fed and came from a better family. Plus there's the whole thing of 'child bearing hips". Big hips are beautiful! I am trying to loose some pounds, mostly for health reasons over physical appearance. So America's ideals that a skinny woman is so much sexier than a woman with curves, stretchmarks, and even 'Fat' is super frustrating.

So you know what? I'm fat, I have a big ass, I am rolly polly and I have stretchmarks like crazy, but I am fabulous! I am sexy in my own way, and I know I could take on any skinny woman in a contest of sitting in the snow and not getting cold immediately!

[MerAnthony]

I look at it this way. There are many women out there that are more than just regular size. It's just more of you to love. So don't be ashamed of what you look like just as long you are happy with yourself.

[Brine]

I know how you feel Lotus! I'm plus sized. I have rolls, I'm a mom and have stretchmarks as well. I have a huge butt, and my boobs aren't perfectly perky. But you know what, My stretchmarks are my earned tiger stripes. I have a super loving husband who loves me no matter what. And you know what, he doesn't like super skinny women. He likes a woman with pudge! And honestly, the ideals of a skinny woman being sexy is so backwards! In the past, heavy women were sought out because if you were heavy, you were well fed and came from a better family. Plus there's the whole thing of 'child bearing hips". Big hips are beautiful! I am trying to loose some pounds, mostly for health reasons over physical appearance. So America's ideals that a skinny woman is so much sexier than a woman with curves, stretchmarks, and even 'Fat' is super frustrating.

So you know what? I'm fat, I have a big ass, I am rolly polly and I have stretchmarks like crazy, but I am fabulous! I am sexy in my own way, and I know I could take on any skinny woman in a contest of sitting in the snow and not getting cold immediately!

This!! This this this!!!

[Mermaid Lorelei]

I fought with this stereotype for a long time. Growing up, I was always the 'chubby' kid. It didn't help that I have asthma and other medical issues. People looked at me like somehow I was inferior or something. Eventually, I just got over it. I'm not a size 2, I have muscles, and you know what, I have stretch marks! I'll take them over twiggy limbs any day. Besides, my man thinks I'm sexy. ;3

[Elle]

After realizing that thin still isn't thin ENOUGH, that young women have been trained to hear "healthy" as a code word for "fat," that Twiggy madness and the "heroin chic" of the 90's has killed hundreds of thousands of women, you realize that mass media is bunk that's solely meant to sell shit. Buying into it is unnecessary.

Absolutely! I love the fact that in Sweden (At least I think it's Sweden) They have brought out store mannequins that go from size 12 to size 16.
Here in Australia we have the "plus sized" clothing stores where the mannequins are 16 to 22.


I know how you feel Lotus! I'm plus sized. I have rolls, I'm a mom and have stretchmarks as well. I have a huge butt, and my boobs aren't perfectly perky. But you know what, My stretchmarks are my earned tiger stripes. I have a super loving husband who loves me no matter what. And you know what, he doesn't like super skinny women. He likes a woman with pudge! And honestly, the ideals of a skinny woman being sexy is so backwards! In the past, heavy women were sought out because if you were heavy, you were well fed and came from a better family. Plus there's the whole thing of 'child bearing hips". Big hips are beautiful! I am trying to loose some pounds, mostly for health reasons over physical appearance. So America's ideals that a skinny woman is so much sexier than a woman with curves, stretchmarks, and even 'Fat' is super frustrating.

So you know what? I'm fat, I have a big ass, I am rolly polly and I have stretchmarks like crazy, but I am fabulous! I am sexy in my own way, and I know I could take on any skinny woman in a contest of sitting in the snow and not getting cold immediately!

I agree with you entirely. I'm a size 16, have a lot of stretchmarks all over my lower half because my metabolism simply gave up when I turn 14 and I went from a girls size 10 to women size 12 in the course of a year. It was frustrating at the time because everyone else was lovely and thin.
I stopped caring what others think of my size. I'm happy with who I am and I love my body!

also my step son has seen my stretch marks and asked about them. I told him that I got attacked by a shark, but I won. He was thoroughly impressed and I think it ties in well with the whole mermaid thing anyway :)

[Mermaid Tula]

I would love to get a hold of some of those mannequins Elle! I have a small torso I borrowed from a friend. It's so petite. I had to stuff my bra all the way around and in the cups just to hold my bra in place on the mannequin. It would have been nice to be able to have a torso with bigger boobs!

[Scilla Mermaid]

yosh~~ I am a plus size too :) dont be sad i am just a young adult 21 year old only :)

used to weight 95kg.. In my country 90% is really really those skinny type till I have to slim down so that my clothes that I purchase won't be so expensive as before

Plus size clothes in my country cost about $40-$50 SGD, where as the normal size clothing only cost about $5 to $20 SGD that lots to save :( *money problem*

Feel confident, Be proud of your own body :)

all about your mind set, now i am weight 85Kg targeting 60KG :)

LET DO IT TOGETHER!

[Mermaid Kassandra]

How they took the liberty to say something so horrible? I'm very very angry for what they did to you! I have no words for this! They ahould feel very bad bad for this! I can't accept in any way this kind of behavior! Don't worry Lotus I saw some of you're photos and I can say I love you the way you are! Don't bother if someone says that you husban or all the people around you don't like you or don't love you, IT'S A LIE!!!If a person wants to stay with you it's because that person likes you, no matter what others think or what size you wear they love you that's all. The point is that you now the truth and this is the only thing that matters and moreover beauty is a personal taste! Don't need to worry ok? I'm here with you for eveerything you'll need if I can help I'm here just ask :)

[Aziara]

Even us muscular girls have trouble finding clothes that fit...in my teens I worked on my parent's farm, so I built up quite the muscular arms...I wasn't body-builder size, but I sure wasn't a stick... I was hauling around five gallon buckets, one in each hand, FULL to the brim with water. I don't work as hard now, but I wore almost exclusively sleeveless as a teen, because I couldn't find sleeves that actually fit. And I've always had very wide hips...I don't care if I lost half my weight and became a sack of bones with skin stretched over it, my hip bones themselves are very wide. My ob/gyn calls them 'baby hips', and says I could spit them out with no trouble. So buying jeans is a nightmare...they either gap in the waist or squeeze in the butt. I wear lots of belts, lol. I am extremely lucky to have a very loving husband, who says I am perfect, and doesn't care or even notice when I gain or lose 5 pounds, which happens for me a lot. I'm currently on the gaining trend, and the only reason I want to lose the weight is because I float to the pool surface butt first... otherwise, I'm happy with how I look.

[Mermaid Varshana]

I hear ya, Aziara. I too am a muscular girl, with a lumpy V-shaped torso like a dude and everything XD Same exact problems with jeans, too. I prefer flowy skirts to pants because my ass has always been wide for my figure. Measuring my hips for a tail was quite the disappointing experience lol

[Alveric]

Wow. Reading this thread one would think you all looked terrible, but I know I've seen photos of at least some of you and you all looked great! What's going on here?

[Mermaid Varshana]

We're bombarded with images meant to sell specific fashion and beauty products, which inherently requires that it convinces us that we're subpar as-is. It's the ugly part of capitalism.

[MerEmma]

I totally agree--the media causes more problems than it solves, I feel like. ):

On the other end of the spectrum though, we also need to stop the thin-shaming. I have friends much thinner than I and their weight is constantly being pointed out and being called anorexic, or other crude names that are untrue of them. I have been called them as well but I have very fortunately been given bone-crushing self esteem (LOL). It bothers me so much to see my friends being put down for their inability to gain weight like myself.

[FreshWaterMermaid]

Just for the record: stretchmarks are NOT just for larger girls. I myself have stretchmarks all across my bottom, and "cottage cheese" back thighs. Lol
I know I'm a healthy weight, and it takes a lot of self confidence to not let those things on my body bug me. I'd rather be happy with what I've got than torture myself about what others might think.
http://img.tapatalk.com/d/13/06/20/2asyqy5e.jpg
Love you all!

Sent from my XT907 using Tapatalk 2

[Mermaid Tula]

Emma you've got a great point. I have several friends who are super skinny. I tease them occasionally about them needing to eat more, even though I know most of them eat more than I do! I've only been on the heavy end of the spectrum, but I've seen and defended against the skinny shaming. Back when I was in highschool, one of my friends wore a size 1 pant size. She was tiny. But she was proportional. Some cheerleader was complaining that she 'wished' she could be super skinny like my friend, but she didn't want to be anorexic. My friend could put down half a pizza by herself, as well as a bunch of garlic bread sticks and a few cans of pop. Luckily, my friend had great self image and didn't are for the most part what others said. I still wish I would have been that confident back then.

[MerEmma]

I'm so lucky and happy for my confidence; I don't know where I got it from but I'm so glad I don't let words bother me. What I mainly hate is the inability to find pants that fit, lol. I'm working my way to healthy weight--just another +5 lbs. to go.

I really like the picture about the tiger stripes though, haha. It's cute. :P Rawr~

[Mermaid Varshana]

The simple truth is that there is a segment of society that is pure shit. Bullies lack the inner light that we have where our happiness and integrity come from, so they need to gain security by distracting others from their worst qualities by spinning the qualities of other people into negativity. Any quality. Batshit insanity that should be regarded as such.

[Echidna]

I wouldn't take the Media messages too personal.
It might have to do with that new program they came up with, about battling overweight in general, since in the US the majority of people (thanks to Mac&Co) ARE overweight.

This would not be an issue if it were only the looks -curvy women are sexy-, but it can cause quite a few health problems.

I know criticism can cut deep in that area- I'm also very annoyed when people come and tell me I'm too thin and eew and boo-, but we should just grow a thicker skin I suppose.

People come in all shapes, forms, and sizes.
Wouldn't it be very boring if everyone looked the same?

[Merrow Erie]

I'm a journalism major, so it's painful to be lumped in with the all-encompassing 'media' that does this. This comes from the fashion industry, the makeup industry, advertising agencies. I report hard news, and getting this thrown in my face along with a 'is this what you're doing with your life' make me livid.

The bottom line is nothing sells better than fear. Fear that you're too fat, too pale, too lame. That's how advertising sells. So they take models, who are STILL very REAL women please don't forget that, and Photoshop them into something impossible. They suffer from pressure just as much as we do, they have to look at everything some jackass behind a computer deemed 'flawed' when they're already so unhealthy. I can't imagine that kind of horror.

When you see an ad, commercial or magazine, try to figure out what type of 'fear' it's selling, and realize what a god damn liar it is.

I gained a lot of weight because of depression, and I'm not going to lose it for anyone but me.

[Mermaid Varshana]

If everyone knew why models have to be skinny and what they are forced to go through to get so skinny, and exactly how skinny they are, NO ONE....NO.ONE....would take that standard of beauty seriously. Ever.

[Mermaid Oshun]

Dear Lotus,
Please love the body you're in. I am overweight according to some. But you know what?.... I decided I want to stay the weight I am. I have had stretch marks from my breasts since I was like 16 years old and even some on my hips but you know what? I love everything on me just the way it is and you can too!
During the paleolithic times the symbol of the Venus of Willendorf was thought to be a Divine sacred image of a Mother Goddess. She was a symbol of fertility and of the procreative power of the feminine
12649
The Goddess Ishtar Inanna is another symbol of quintessential fertility, sexual love, passion and war. All women would have aspired to be similar to the Goddess Inannna
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Read about these powerful symbols of female sexuality and embrace their essence. Get yourself a copy of a statue or medalion of either Ishtar or Inanna and meditate upon her essence daily. Embrace fully and adore your fertile essence, power and life force. Be proud of the part of HER in you. When you walk, feel her walk inside of you. When your breasts and your hips move like the tides of her essence, feel her POWER within you and claim it as your essence.

Reclaim your feminine power and do not let ANYONE take it away from you. It is yours Lotus. It is your power. Embrace it.

PS: Atargatis is manifestation of another fertility deity Astarte also associated with Ishtar. And you know what?... she was one of the original mermaid icons
http://www.angelfire.com/de/poetry/Whoswho/Astarte.html
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[Mermaid Varshana]

DAMN. That was epic, GP!

[Aziara]

Another thing to remember is all models are photoshopped. This video can show you the drastic changes photoshop can make. So those pretty, super skinny models? Fake, all of it.
http://youtu.be/onm-8xCTrCM And then those that ARE super skinny: I've actually heard of a model who was going blind from weightless meds, and it was considered an 'acceptable' side effect.

[Miyu]

I hear ya, Aziara. I too am a muscular girl, with a lumpy V-shaped torso like a dude and everything XD Same exact problems with jeans, too. I prefer flowy skirts to pants because my ass has always been wide for my figure. Measuring my hips for a tail was quite the disappointing experience lol

LOL yep, same problem here! Why do jeans designers think girls are breadstick-shaped??? I have a few pairs that fit alright (but the back ALWAYS gapes, so I wear longer shirts to cover it haha), but I mostly wear skirts. I find lots of long flowy ones at thrift stores and at the "boutiques" at festivals :P

Heehee, floating up butt-first, yep! well, depends. If I'm not careful in positioning myself I'll end up doing an involuntary barrel-roll and float up chest-first :P For I, having earned my goddamned tiger stripes (AWESOME XD), have apparently gained even more bouyancy, as well.

Actually, somehow, almost all my chick friends are strippers/models (um... I so am not, so it's kind of weird how that happened?), and one day one of them gave me some not-frumpy clothes and a bra that fit and everyone realized I had curves :P They were all telling me how jealous they were because they all could eat whatever they wanted and they never got curves... So it made me feel a lot more comfortable with not being a twig, because I was always around these skinny chicks LOL. After that I tried to get rid of a lot of my tomboy clothes (bad habit, I do like looking pretty!) so I have to wear something feminine that makes me feel pretty every day.

And I, too, like being able to sit in the snow without turning into an icicle :P

[Aziara]

I found this on Deviantart--I think it sums up everything12731

[Miyu]

Azaria, that's wonderful! And so true.

[Miyu]

I give you - The Chubby Mermaid ^-^ It made my day!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OSXpWrVmPxM

[Lotus]

"I'm a journalism major, so it's painful to be lumped in with the all-encompassing 'media' that does this. This comes from the fashion industry, the makeup industry, advertising agencies. I report hard news, and getting this thrown in my face along with a 'is this what you're doing with your life' make me livid." Lake Eerie Loner- I'm not throwing anything in your face, nor did I question or judge you for being in journalism- this had nothing to do with you for Gods sake. This had to do with me feeling like complete crap for years and realizing I was TAUGHT to feel bad about how I look by caring too much about what our pathetic, shallow, celebrity worshiping culture considers beautiful. Sorry if I offended you, but I stand my ground.

[Ariel-Starfish]

I <3 this tread

[Mermaid Varshana]

Advertising largely depends on the consuming masses to be broken people who need stuff to complete them. It's all a lie.

[Miyu]

I totally agree, Kakarotte! My mom pushed me to take some business classes in school, and one was Intro to Advertising... it really opened my eyes and I learned to see the lie/gimmick/subliminal messaging in every stupid commercial and ad. It's disgusting. Yes, I have some self-esteem issues, but that's more because of a rare skin-freaky-out thing - I'm perfectly comfortable with my weight, as long as I feel healthy, but there's just not many people with "Phantom of the Opera" faces :P But, because I am not broken in the way that ad execs need me to be, I'm not their target audience. Actually, I'm usually the one pointing out the falsehoods in the ads, which leads to my friends not being a target audience either.

Don't freaking believe what "society" tells you. There are just as many men (and women!) who prefer rubenesque to twiggy, and everything inbetween. There are beautiful, big women being all sorts of successful in many professions where society will have you believe only "beautiful" and skinny women have a place, and I'm thankful to know some of them - they show me that it's NOT about what society tells you is beautiful - it's about making yourself a beautiful person from the inside out, and letting your light shine. EVERYone is beautiful and unique and just because someone looks different from the people you see every day doesn't make them less beautiful, it just means the sensory input to your brain is different and you need to get used to it to see the beauty in every one you meet.

[Mermaid Tasia]

I have the "curvy" hips too, but a narrow waist. I am the "pear" shape and jeans are hard to find that dont ride my behind and gap in the waist. Then I try to find shirts and they are all WAAAY low cut and long since I have a short torso. Screw the clothing manufacturers. Who are they to try and decide who is permitted to wear fitting clothes. If skinny jeans keep up, I will go to making my own!

[Merman Chatfish]

Try to remember that most models you see in print are airbrushed. They're not real, anyway.


Its amazing what they can do with photo shop. I watched a video the other day where they showed a photoshopping in reverse. They make this "real" looking thin girl from an image of a SLICE OF PIZZA!

[Naufra]

As a 5'4" tall woman whose hips are 5'2" around and whose weight hovers around the 300lb mark, I can understand these feels. When I was 14, I thought I was fat and hideous and that I could be pretty if I just lost weight. When I was 18, I thought that I was fat and hideous but realized that everyone else thought they were fat and hideous, too. When I was 20, I realized that no matter what size or shape anyone was, they would never be good enough to satisfy the mass market and that it was futile to try. When I was 22, I realized that I shouldn't have to try and make everyone else think I was perfectly pretty. When I was 24, I finally started telling myself that I looked good and to shell with what everyone else thought. Now I'm 26, and I finally find myself attractive. You know what? Other people do, too. Confidence is sexy. Just be you, be good to yourself, and flip off the haters with a smile. They just can't STAND how gorgeous you are and they're gonna cry themselves to sleep when they realize they can't tear you down to their sad level anymore. You are fabulous! Now go forth, and rock it!

[-Annwyn-]

I got a random comment pop up on my YouTube comments to be moderated the other day.

"she is so fat" it said. Naturally I rejected it, and it never saw the light of day.

It's more so that the comment itself was so brainless than that it conveyed. Naturally the Keyboard Bandit behind it had no subscribers and no identification, but I had stirred up enough emotion within him that he was so compelled to share the video and comment with the bleeding fucking obvious.

Honestly, i dont care. I can moderate those comments. Do I need to recycle the old adage that it doesnt matter what you look like, that you happiness is more important, and that the fans far outweight the haters, and that the mermaid shape, with the tapered tail, suits EVERY single body type?

I would like to see mainstream tail makers use bigger models in their catalogue, because they all claim to love all sizes (and I do not doubt that) but I never see it in their promotional material. They would reach out to a wider scope of audience, and would generate more business. Unless, that is, their pride gets in the way and that there truly is a 'no fat chicks rule'. Seeing all women, no matter their size, confident in their tails is so inspiring that's it's not even funny.

And mainstream media sucks. They also poked fun at me for being fat, but when I challenged them to help me lose the weight, and thus become more presentable in their eyes, suddenly it was all too hard and I was too feisty for them, so they didn't want a bar of me. Humph. Just goes to show people are just full of hot air.

[Merman Chatfish]

I got a random comment pop up on my YouTube comments to be moderated the other day.

"she is so fat" it said. Naturally I rejected it, and it never saw the light of day.



You don't look fat too me. I also like your gif in your signature.

[-Annwyn-]

You don't look fat too me. I also like your gif in your signature.

I am 224lbs. That's my official weight recorded at the doctors clinic two days ago.

Watch my videos and you will get a clearer understanding. But my point is exactly that; the shape of a tail flatters all sizes, and this should be realised and celebrated. But media keeps mercilessly ridiculing anyone who is plus sized.

And furthermore, even when I lose all the weight, media will find out something else to ridicule. As Dita Von Teese said "you could be the ripest, juiciest peach there is, and there is always going to be someone who hates peaches"

and thank you about the gif! :)

[Morticia Mermaid]

I'd love to be able to share pictures all over my fb wall of a larger woman, or man, in one of my tails. Sadly, I have yet to have anyone of larger size order from me :( The only person of larger size with one of my tails is myself.

[-Annwyn-]

I'd love to be able to share pictures all over my fb wall of a larger woman, or man, in one of my tails. Sadly, I have yet to have anyone of larger size order from me :( The only person of larger size with one of my tails is myself.


I would love love to see it too. But my point is that tail makers should already be advertising with all types of body shapes to begin with, not just slim.

[Seraphina Suds]

The only tail maker I've ever seen post plus size models was Mermaids of Hawaii. And honestly, that was one of the major reasons I ordered from her. I knew my size had already been represented. Whenever she advertises on Facebook she always says "all sizes and ages welcome" and is the only one I've seen actually back it up in both cases.

Side note, I would love to order from you some day, Morticia!

[Merman Chatfish]

Watch my videos and you will get a clearer understanding. But my point is exactly that; the shape of a tail flatters all sizes, and this should be realised and celebrated. But media keeps mercilessly ridiculing anyone who is plus sized.

Watching the videos now. Your pool is awesome looking!

I tried to go to http://www.annwynmermaid.com but its not working for me.