Mer-loneliness (aka some mer-hugs please)

[Mermaid Syrena]

Warning: Rant ahead...

So... I'm currently suffering from a SERIOUS bout of mer-loneliness. Thing is- I'm the first and only mermaid in Singapore. Awesome thing, right? I know, I quite like it too. That's the good side of things. On the flipside, ... it gets so lonely over here! I'm envious of all you lovely people who belong to state or country pods, and have a stable and supportive mer-community where you live. I wish there was something like that here.
Instead, I'm being overwhelmed by various event companies approaching me for events. I did say I was available for hire for events- I was initially hoping to specialize in kiddies' parties, but then I decided SOME clean corporate events wouldn't be too bad.
Long story short- it doesn't look like any events involving adults are going to be totally clean, so my boyfriend and my parents are dead against it. Which I understand, and I agree with, but that also kind of sucks- because the kiddy market here is limited. (parents don't see the point of spending on a mermaid) I'm also quite disillusioned by the amount of fishy (and not in the good way!) business that goes on in the photography and events scene. I know it was to be expected, but I didn't expect that ALL the good haul jobs would have to be semi-fishy (no pun) jobs.
And yeah- it's not like I really NEED the jobs- I'm really just doing them for the love of mermaiding... but it'd be nice to get some nice clean gigs!
I do kind of wish there were other mers here, so that we could band together and erase the stigma of mermaid performers just being- basically- "sexy meat". I wish there were events like Mer-palooza here-- just celebrations of mer-ness, and not just events where businessmen gawk at pretty girls in fishtails!

Don't get me wrong. I AM supported-- my FB page has gotten a decent amount of likes, my friends have given me glowing feedback, and the general audience apparently loves seeing my pictures and videos. My boyfriend is also incredibly supportive (though protective), and he and I are pooling for an exquisite Finfolk tail that'll be arriving in December.

.. Still, though. I wish there were some of you guys here, to guide me and to swim alongside me. The scene here is tiny, and it makes mermaids out to be something I don't quite like, and unless you fit into that mold, no go for jobs! It's all quite disorienting.

*le sigh* I'll probably feel better soon, I know. Maybe it's just been a tiring week. I know things will swim up-tide eventually! But it's just one of those times. It sucks that I don't have people like you guys where I am, but at least I have you guys here!

[Carolina Mermaid]

Aww, you do need a hug! I'm sorry you feel so lonely.

[Firemaid]

Oh. poor thing. It's so hard hu?

[Jadestone]

Ohh :( I'm sorry it's been so hard for you to find non-sketchy opportunities! :( If I could, I'd fly over there to hang out and swim around! Alas, distance :(

Is there any way YOU could set up an event or something? That way you could completely control how clean/safe it is while still interacting with the public. Do a "meet a mermaid" day or something? It might not be much, but it could help to start set the precedent of mermaids as a fun thing, not solely a sex appeal thing.

[Mermaid Syrena]

Aw- Carolina, Firemaid, Jadestone... thank you for your mer-hugs. :) I feel a teensy bit better already.
Jadestone: That's a great idea! I'm not sure how the public would react to that (we are a population known for stone-hard pragmatism, lol!), but I'll think about it. Maybe when I get my silicone tail in December. I love my Magictail, but I need to figure out a way to close the open-fluke gapping. In the meantime, maybe I'll look into just doing pro bono appearances for charity. But if you ever come down to this side of the world-- let me know! I would love to host you. :)

[Joy&RaptorsUnrestrained!]

Hmm... I am not a professional merman and don't even have a tail yet, but what about other mythical creature cosplayers and the like, magickshewrote? Are their any people who want to try out their fairy wings or dragon costumes (or even someone with a costume of Singapore's Merlion or other indigenous mythical/folkloric creatures... I admit my knowledge of Singapore's magic and mythology is hazy at best) and whom you could gather together to put on a big meet and great for more than just a mermaid? Maybe the inclusion of others, and more familiar creatures will provide a general overall feel of "magic" and "myth" than a beautiful lady in a fish tail, thereby cutting out those companies who want eye candy (or other, less savory entertainment) and appealing to the whimsy behind stone-hard pragmatism. Still, like I said, I'm not a professional, and I suspect having those other people would require finding people with similar interests and costumes, but still, it might be a starting point.

[Mermaid Dottie]

OH, Magick! I know exactly what you're saying! I was all alone for a while, too. In Land-locked, Desert-y Utah, no less. Don't worry. You'll soon start inspiring others. You'll land jobs because you're unique, and you'll get to the point where you'll have a pod going, and everything will start flowing much more naturally.
In the meantime,
Why don't you do an artistic photoshoot to vent your lonely feelings?
Being the only mermaid in Singapore will definitely have it's advantages in that aspect. You can set it up at a beach in the moonlight, or in a studio, with a photoshopped background.
Ask the photographer to help you convey feelings of sadness and loneliness in the pictures. You'll be proud of work and have something to show people.
And I promise that if I ever come to Singapore, I will go upside down and out of the way to some swim with you.
Cross my heart and hope to fly, stick a puffer in my eye.

[Ariel-Starfish]

I actually feel kinda same :( I had a friend a while back and she loved mermaiding to ( I even got to manage to get a tail for her) But after she got a boyfriend, she dumped me straight out of the blue... :( Now I feel kinda lonely and I think i'm the only girl here in Belguim who has a passion for mermaiding/swimming. And looking for some people from my own age (mid- twenty's) and no teens. :/

[Jadestone]

Aw- Carolina, Firemaid, Jadestone... thank you for your mer-hugs. :) I feel a teensy bit better already.
Jadestone: That's a great idea! I'm not sure how the public would react to that (we are a population known for stone-hard pragmatism, lol!), but I'll think about it. Maybe when I get my silicone tail in December. I love my Magictail, but I need to figure out a way to close the open-fluke gapping. In the meantime, maybe I'll look into just doing pro bono appearances for charity. But if you ever come down to this side of the world-- let me know! I would love to host you. :)

Hmm, if you're not sure how they'd respond to it, maybe double it with something like ocean conservation awareness? Have information on pollution, overfishing, shark finning, etc. Although you could do any issue you care about at all really if you want to go that route! Could help appeal more to the pragmatism crowd, and people like to advertise/attend "raising awareness for issues" type things because it makes them feel more involved. You could also target the presentation of these issues for children or something, since that's the crowd you want for future events too.

Not sure how well this would work necessarily, but a combination awareness/meet a mermaid thing might at least solve the pragmatism problem? :)

As for the open fluke gaping--try sewing or even gluing (with E6000) small patches of velcro at the bottom to hold the material together, if that's where you're having the issue. That's how I keep my tail closed while still letting water flow through.

[Thalassa]

Oh, I wish I could come swim with you! *hugs* Does your country have any fantasy events? I thought I was alone in Utah until Dottie contacted me about a local festival. Going to the festival, I met 2 more mers. They, in turn, introduced me to more mers! I've been to 3 events since then, and at every one of them I've been approached by a couple of people who already mermaid or are in the process of becoming a mer. People you wouldn't even think are interested start coming out of the woodwork when they see you and realize it's possible.

[Mermaid Fenicia]

Ariel, you aren't the only mer here in Belgium As I live here too ;) But I know how you feel as I feel the same :( I live in the same country, speak the same language as Ariel and as I don't have any transport of my own I can't visit any other mers or even go to a private pool where I invited to :(
So exactly know how a lonely mer feels as I'm one myself :(

[MaskedNightingale]

Hmm, if you're not sure how they'd respond to it, maybe double it with something like ocean conservation awareness? Have information on pollution, overfishing, shark finning, etc. Although you could do any issue you care about at all really if you want to go that route! Could help appeal more to the pragmatism crowd, and people like to advertise/attend "raising awareness for issues" type things because it makes them feel more involved. You could also target the presentation of these issues for children or something, since that's the crowd you want for future events too.


I totally agree with Jadestone about including in your advertising what you support. Even those who may be pragmatic still care about the environment and it just might open doors in that area more as well.

[Mermaid Syrena]

Guys, that's a great idea. :) I'll look into that, although I admit I'm no expert at ocean conservation topics. I'm more of the artsy fartsy, posting poems from Wordsworth and songs from Loreena McKennitt and Era kind of mermaid. *sheepish laugh*

It was super encouraging to log on this morning, and see these messages! It helps no end to have you guys as my long distance mer-community, and goshdarnit is it a Mer-trait to just be so friggin' NICE?! ;) So much love for y'all.

It's also nice (in a sad way) to know that I'm not the only lonely (hey that rhymes) Mer out there. I'd never wish any of you to be lonely- but hey, if we are, at least we're in it together. Plus... there's got to be something romantic about a lonely mermaid, right? Right?

One of the event companies that I was suspicious about called me to clarify: they claim they want to market me for condominium type, kiddy events. Which is great...if they stick to it. I made it clear that events-wise, I want to be a PG-rated mermaid. My slot is next Wednesday, so I'll keep you all updated.

Also- MaskedNightingale, Fenicia, Thalassa, Jadestone, Ariel Starfish, Joy&Raptors, and Dottie... if any of you EVER come over to this side of the world; we will definitely swim together! And I'll show you guys Singapore's Merlion. Some Singaporeans laugh at it, because it does look kinda ridic and cute spouting water from its liony mouth, and it's a total tourist construct... but I'll show it to you guys anyway.

[Mermaid Syrena]

Also- are any of you on FB and/or Insta?

[Spindrift]

There are definitely a few mermaids in Singapore. I'm here, but I'm leaving tonight for Hong Kong. If you search "Singapore" on the search bar at the top of the site, you can get in touch with the others.

[Spindrift]

Also, if you're having image issues with being a mermaid in ultra-conservative Singapore, my only advice would to just hold out. Once people recognize that you're not that kind of girl, it should get easier. And yeah, I wouldn't invest in the kid-market there. They don't have a very good concept of fun.

[Mermaid Syrena]

Hi Spindrift! To my awareness, I think the other posters from Singapore (save one, who I hope to meet soon!) are mer-lovers. I'm definitely going to get in contact with them, and I've already had some good talks with some. I meant I wish that there were other mermaid entertainers here to band together with, to navigate the industry. But I'll manage, somehow! :) May the tides be with me :P

And aaah, you were in Singapore? Darn, girl! Well, when you're back again, let me know. And HK isn't all thaaat far away. :p

[Mermaid Fenicia]

I do have facebook (https://www.facebook.com/mermaidfenicia (normal page), https://www.facebook.com/mermiadfenicia (merpage) and https://www.facebook.com/pages/The-Mermaid/314689475324617 (salepage) but as I'm disabled I don't have any money of my own, so no money to travel :(

[MaskedNightingale]

Also- are any of you on FB and/or Insta?
I'm on Facebook, its on my profile page and my Instagram name is: kitty_kait1 :)

[Aziara]

I hear ya, Magik... I think I'm only one of two people on this forum in my home state, and the other is 3 hours away, and I've never met her.

[Ariel-Starfish]

Oh, I wish I could come swim with you! *hugs* Does your country have any fantasy events? I thought I was alone in Utah until Dottie contacted me about a local festival. Going to the festival, I met 2 more mers. They, in turn, introduced me to more mers! I've been to 3 events since then, and at every one of them I've been approached by a couple of people who already mermaid or are in the process of becoming a mer. People you wouldn't even think are interested start coming out of the woodwork when they see you and realize it's possible.

awwh thanks! <3 We do have a few cons here, but the cosplay crowd here is small, and most of the time u get to see the same people. and alot of teens :/

[Ariel-Starfish]

Also- are any of you on FB and/or Insta?


My fb page is in my signature and my Instagram has the same username as on this forum :) feel free to add me but add a mer-picture becouse my page is private :)

[Jadestone]

GAlso- MaskedNightingale, Fenicia, Thalassa, Jadestone, Ariel Starfish, Joy&Raptors, and Dottie... if any of you EVER come over to this side of the world; we will definitely swim together! And I'll show you guys Singapore's Merlion. Some Singaporeans laugh at it, because it does look kinda ridic and cute spouting water from its liony mouth, and it's a total tourist construct... but I'll show it to you guys anyway.

That fountain sounds way cool to me at least!! :)


Also- are any of you on FB and/or Insta?

I actually just started (slowly) setting up my mermaid page--there's hardly anything on it yet, but I'm going to be putting up all my pictures (and taking new ones) soon! : https://www.facebook.com/pages/Mermaid-Jade/392459100870369?ref=hl

:)

[Mermaid Syrena]

Jade-- I just Liked your page! The backgrounds to your pictures are so amazingly BEAUTIFUL. Wish we had places like that to shoot here. Post more pictures soon! :D

My mermaid FB page is www.facebook.com/syrenaswims
Click if you have time! :)

[johnwenjie]

Hi Syrena, I am from Singapore too. I can understand the trials and tribulations you been going through as I am a proud owner of a "pet" mermaid.

Singapore is still quite socially conservative, thus to see a half nude mermaid swimming around is going to attract much undesired attention, heck even wearing a bikini at the pool or beach creates the same effect.

Do not be easily discouraged but focus on the things that truly makes you happy. I like to think that mermaiding is like an expression of your own persona, there's nothing wrong with it.
加油！ :)

[Mermaid Syrena]

Hi, John!

... A "pet" mermaid? Am intrigued. Do tell more.

Paha. I certainly don't swim around half nude, don't worry. I've custom ordered some lovely tops from some lovely fellow mers, and am excited for them to arrive! And yes, I'm hoping more people will think like you, too. Mermaiding is such a lovely, freeing, innocent activity; it amazes me that people try to bash it sometimes.

[johnwenjie]

Oh... sounds like somebody is fascinated. ;)

I guess I can give you a sneak peak...

13003

[Mermaid Dottie]

Hey! Another magictail! You two could be sisters, Magick.

[Mermaid Syrena]

Call me Syrena, Dottie! :) Magickshewrote is really more of my email address, lol. *sheepish grin*

John- lovely shot! You called her your "pet", though. Dyou mean she's your girlfriend, or daughter, or..? Either way, I'd love to talk to her.

[Mermaid Dottie]

Oh, Alright. If you prefer. ;)

[johnwenjie]

Thanks!! Not bad for an amateur with a D5100 :) Yes, she's my girlfriend. I wonder what were you thinking when you included "or..." :D I'm sure she would like to talk to you.

[Mermaid Syrena]

@Johnwenjie- I have no idea- I didn't know what to make of the word "pet"! I was like "HUM. Maybe it is... maybe it's not..." :P
That's a relief, though. I'm glad she's your girlfriend. Thanks for Liking my page on FB, by the way! You two look really happy together in your profile pic. :) It's really sweet of you to be so supportive of her.

[johnwenjie]

Awww... Thanks, Syrena. That's very of you to nice to say that. You have very nice pictures,too especially your fb profile pic the emotion was captured nicely, is your boyfriend the cameraman? Hehe

[aWittleNoob]

Hey. Syrena. I know Singapore, can be kinda of an old fashion place sometimes. Depeneding on the place where you live, but lets say you do a few birthday parties for free. Then later charge for it. You see if you do a few for free. Word will spread by mouth, to mouth. It might sound like a really bad idea thought because other people will expect you to do it for free then.