The very unsure mer.

[Mer-Crazy]

Hey guys. So some of you may know I've just received my Merbellas basic tail and honestly I'm just not sure. It all started right around Christmas last year. It wasn't a very good Christmas for me, so I'd decided I'd buy myself a present, my tail. I didn't really know anything going into this but have learnt a lot since then. Anyway, things haven't gotten overly better since last Christmas. My wait was a lot longer than expected, more than 3 months over the date it was supposed to be completed on. I didn't overly mind, I got excited but never too angry or upset. Anyway, over 220 days later my tail arrived. I'd been feeling ridiculously down and had been waiting so eagerly for it to arrive. I thought once it did I'd just be able to lose myself in my tail and all my troubles would go away and I'd be happy. They didn't really. The tail is just a bit too short, it's something I can live with but it's a bit too revealing so it leaves me concerned. I can't swim in it because I didn't know the competitor was difficult to swim in if you hadn't swum in a monofin before so now I can't even swim in my tail I've waited so long for because it hurts too much.

Honestly I don't know what to do. I was hoping this tail would make me feel better. For moths I've been waiting eagerly to be a mermaid. I thought it would be so natural and I'd just find it so effortless but I'm just struggling. I don't know if I want to give my tail up but at the same time I don't know what to do. I just feel so... upset.

Keep in mind this has nothing to do with Raven, she is a wonderful woman and her product is amazing, absolutely wonderful. I just... I don't know I just can't live up to my own expectations I suppose. I don't know what to do. I'm a drowning mer and I really need a bit of advice guys please :'(

[Echinacea]

How often can you swim? Do you have access to a pool that will let you swim with just a monofin? If you have the opportunity to swim frequently in a plain monofin, then I might suggest getting a monofin from E-Bay or Oceanika or someplace, and practice swimming with just the fin to build up your strength. Maybe go swim in your tail once every other week, or once a month, then back to the plain fin, and keep that up for 3 or 4 months and see how it is going. I would definitely not give up your tail at this point! And remember, being a mermaid is not only about having a tail - think of yourself as a small fry, who just needs to grow into her tail! :hug:

[AniaR]

You should read the thread I posted on what to expect with your first tail. It may help. Keep in mind it may seem short if its not up all the way. Many mers come to me cuz they think it might be too small and realize later they weren't in the monofin correctly. You've gone from no car to a jaguar with no license. Lol there will be a learning curve for sure!!!

[PearlieMae]

Exactly what Echinacea and Raina said! Anything worth doing takes work, otherwise, everyone would be doing it. I've been mermaiding for over 30 years, and it wasn't easy at first...everyone thinks you're weird, swimming takes a lot of work, plus, I had no idea there was a community until very recently! There is so much love and support here!

Get yourself a starter fin...practice in that until you get your swim muscles built up...make yourself a simple fabric tail to wear with your fin - it doesn't have to be connected to the monofin, and get the hang of swimming in that. You'll be in that big beautiful tail in no time! If you feel your tail is too revealing, fashion yourself a belt that will make it a bit more modest. Don't rush...it's a process. You'll be fully fledged in no time! :D

[WillowAnne]

I just got a competitor (my very first monofin), and it does take getting used to! At first I wanted to use my ankles (not knees) to move the monofin... It was soooo tempting! At first I had foot cramps so bad I could only swim about 20 minutes. Then I learned how to let my upper body do the work... I have been doing smaller swims (20-30 minutes) to get used to it, and now I can swim for about an hour in it without pain! I realize that it will be a bit more difficult in a tail, but don't give up! Take it from a first-timer that also chose a competitor. I haven't placed the monofin in a tail yet, but hopefully this advice is at least of some use... good luck, girl!

[AniaR]

Talk to raven she and I were chatting about this. Think she has an idea. ;)

[telzey.amberdon]

Get a fellow Mer and spend time in the water. it will come!

[Blondie]

I can totally relate to you, I felt about the same way when I got my Fish Butt. I spent the entire summer dreaming and thinking about how wonderful it will be when I get my tail. And my tail too was late, so by the time you get it, you feel exhausted from being excited for so long. Which just leaves you with a strange feeling.

When I first swam in my tail, it was at the meet up last year. And it was tons of fun but god it did hurt. I didn't know you have to drink a lot of water before you swim like that. Maybe try drinking a lot of water before you swim to help get your muscles ready for that monofin of yours? But I remember the next three days I was in so much pain from swimming that day. I didn't even want to look at my tail for a good while.

I guess, sometimes it's more fun to dream about being a mermaid than actually be one :\

I agree with the others though, if you want to get through this, you'll just have to practice. Strengthen those legs and ankles until you can swim in it comfortably. It'll take time but practice makes perfect. If you still don't feel good about it, you always can sell your tail. It's a Merbella's tail so people will jump for joy if you did want to sell it and get your money back (at least most of it).

I think that's the great thing about this community, if you invest in a high end product, you can bet someone out there would be more than happy to take it off your hands if you ever fall out of love with it.

[BayouMermaid]

It's understandable to feel upset. When I was first swimming in my monofin, I found that a pair of socks or neoprene booties help keep your feet and ankles from hurting/ chaffing. Also, swimming with a kick board might help you get used to swimming in a tail. It is easy to get frustrated. Don't give up!

[Mer-Crazy]

Thanks guys for all the support. I really needed it. I've spoken to Raven, god she's wonderful. She's going to send me a monofin to practice in (free of charge the angel). I think last night I was also a bit upset about others things as well as my tail but you're all right. I just need to practice and maybe next time take some baby steps and not be so expectant of myself.
:) <3

[AniaR]

Yay! I knew she was going to and I was trying to keep it a secret hahaha waiting for her to tell you XD you should find it a lot easier swimming with a smaller one to start. Also, try to see if floating is causing a problem for you as well, it certainly did for me and took a year for me to figure that out lol

[PearlieMae]

Yes! I forgot all about a kick board or a boogie board! They are a great help!

It took me two full seasons ifof swimming before I stopped getting foot cramps! Usually right in the middle of the lake!

[Merman Dan]

just keep swimming.... just keep swimming...

[Miyu]

Aww, that is so awesome of Raven!

[Echidna]

And this, merladies and mergents, is why one should learn/practice with a monofin and/or inexpensive tail before getting the (silicone) performance tail with competitor :p