Advice?

[Ayla of Duluth]

Alright, so I've had a really terrible day. Like...knot in my stomach terrible.

Recently I've been packing up my things and getting ready to move out of my parents house and be out on my own. The whole process has been hectic, but I chalk that up to it being my first time moving. Anyways, the little schedule book that I keep my client gigs in got misplaced and I have no idea where it went. Today while I was at work, I went on break around 2pm, and checked my phone. I had a ton of calls from someone, they didn't say a lot about who they were so I was confused at first, wondering if it was a wrong number. They were saying things like "someone is waiting to meet you upstairs and show you where to go" and "if you need directions, call me." Again, super confused, but then it hit me. I must have had a gig today!

So...yeah. I accidentally stood up a client. Now they're filling my facebook page with warnings to other people not to book me, I've gotten messages from the client's siblings saying that I should be ashamed, and the like. Honestly, this whole thing was basically the mermaid professional version of a freak accident, and I apologized profusely, and I told the sibling who sent me a message that I would do my best to make it up, and that I was thinking of planning a free party completely paid for by me, decorations, food, etc included. I was even going to make the little girl a fabric tail as a sort of gift.

I let down a lot of people today, and even after sending the apology and trying to call the client with no success, I'm still getting the warnings on my facebook to other people not to book me. It's not even her posting the messages, its her sisters or other people she knows. I really do feel awful, I've had that "sick to my stomach" feeling all day and I just don't know what to do about it now. 30+ parents all see me in a bad light and probably want nothing to do with me, I don't think another party will make up for it because they probably assume now that I'll stand them up again, and I've tried calling her with no answer.

Does anybody know how I should handle this? I understand their anger, but after I sent the apology they're still posting on my page and I kind of just feel like cutting my losses and trying to forget the whole thing happened.

My coworker was really sympathetic, she said its a real bummer that it happened but what can you do, and I'm still just a kid and mistakes happen sometimes. It's made me feel a little bit better, but I hate that I'm trying to justify it in my mind when I let down so many people.

Help :(

[AniaR]

accidents happen, and they should understand that. Yes, offer to do a free party, but don't let them walk on you either. Simply explain, you're in transition to moving and lost your gig book. You're very sorry, but there's not much you can do beyond offering a free party with your apologies. Making a mistake does not mean people can harass you all over the internet. Yes, it's upsetting. But shit happens. I haven't had to cancel a gig or miss one yet, but poor mimi had to cancel last minute because she was barfing her guts out and no one could fill in. Life. Happens. And they should understand that because chances are they've had that happen too.

[AniaR]

p.s. it's totally okay to cut your losses and let it go especially if they aren't responding.

[AniaR]

The more I think about this the more protective I feel for you. lol If you want help drafting a last ditch email or a comment response I'd be happy to use the teacher skills and help. Ugh I feel sooo bad it happened to you, but this is it, life happens. It's not like you have other employees or a boss who can call and say "hey don't forget" and it was obviously a learning experience for you.

[AniaR]

P.s. using a google calendar and sinking it with your phone is a great way to know when your gigs are. I do that + I keep all my emails + I have a gig book. lol

[Ayla of Duluth]

I definitely did learn from this. When I got home after work I sat down and thought about how I could have missed a gig. Whenever someone contacts me through my website, I get an email right away, and then as soon as a date is set, I text my assistant who is like a backup gig book. Even he didn't know we had the gig today, because he was at work as well. I think the best thing I've done besides the book is writing all the set dates on a piece of paper and taping it to the wall next to my computer so they're all right there and I'm reminded every day no matter what.

[Seatan]

Aw man, I am so sorry this happened to you. Best thing to do is definitely to do your best to atone then cut your losses. If the client won't accept the apology, there is nothing you can do, but I know it's hard not to dwell on it! Just do your best to move on and know that if you feel bad and need support, your fellow mers are here to give you digital hugs.

[ShyMer]

It sounds like you had the misfortune to upset the wrong group of parents this time :/ Other people might be more understanding, but these people are trying to ruin your business. I'd also suggest google calendar. You can ask it to send you email reminders ahead of time to help you remember, which might be nice particularly if you don't have a smartphone.

Seriously though, these people need to stop harassing you. What do they want you to do? You've explained yourself and have given the option to make it up to them and everything, so it's not like you forgot and are just ignoring them. It's understandable for them to be upset, but it's not acceptable for them to continue when you've tried to fix the situation. I hope the sting wears off soon, and they haven't done too much damage.

What do you think you can do about damage control, by the way? I feel like it's inappropriate for the family members to be spamming your page. Even if you manage to make it up to the parents, those family members or whoever might have hurt your business, and there's no guarantee they'll leave you alone if you come to an agreement. Do you think this might be something to be concerned about? Maybe some sort of public apology once you work things out with them?

[Ayla of Duluth]

I've hid the spam messages from public view on my page. I haven't deleted them, they're still there, but only I can see them now. For the time being, they've stopped. There were 30+ parents there so I won't be surprised if I get more, but it's easy to keep up with since my page only has 175 likes. I have pondered over making a facebook status about losing my book and doing the best I can to regain client info, but I feel like I should wait for this group of people to get it out of their system and move on before making a public status that they can spam as well.

[Merley]

You could try writing a public apology on your fb page explaining the situation briefly, but aside from what Raina and Shymer suggested, there isn't much you can do. I think you've done pretty much all you can and handled it as professionally as possible, even if though those parents aren't doing the same. Try not to dwell on it, this is just a learning experience and now you know better for next time. Hope it all works out.

[Mermaid Kelda]

A public apology can be a great thing to do - otherwise people can say that you tried to cover it up. If you're honest and sincere, most people will understand.

[AniaR]

I disagree with a public apology. Its one isolated incident no need to apologize to your entire fan base. You clearly aren't trying to cover it up and you've done more than enough to attempt to make amends. A public apology in my opinion over one incident will open you up to more drama and clients who will take advantage of you. You didn't steal their money or take advantage of them. And I think if you asked any business mentor or took a business class they'd say the same thing.

Sent from my Nexus 4 using Tapatalk

[OceanRose]

I agree with Raina, a public apology is not called for. The only real person who I believe (personally) you have to think about, is the little girl seeing as it was her party. I'm sure something could be worked out, something magical you can do for her that only a mermaid can do! It's part of life - we can predict the tides but we can't always predict exactly what else may happen and we have to roll with it and use a situation to our advantage even though it didn't come how we thought it would <3

[Ayla of Duluth]

So this is getting to be a bit much. I haven't posted anything on my Mermaid Ayla page since I did Boo at the Zoo on october 19th. The gig I accidentally missed was on like the 27th. I hadn't posted anything until the other day when Nerine posted pictures of the shell top she's making me. So the other day I post on my timeline "Just got word that my shell top is almost finished! I can't wait to get it and try it out in the water." And a few hours later, I get this comment from the sister who organized the party: "No call no show for my little nieces birthday party. U r heartless! Thinking about taking u to civil court since i recorded our verbal contract."

I'm not worried about this at all, I have online solid proof of my apology and my offer to do a free party which she never responded to. She never paid me for the event so her claim won't hold up in court, and all she has to show for herself are her little rants on my page, such as this one which was posted the same day as her response to my post about my new shell top "After u fail to show up for my little nieces birthday party u actually have the nerve to rant. No call, no show. U discussed me. U r heartless!!!!!!!!

Excuse me, but...rant? When did I rant? The only thing I've posted since October was the one about the top being made. I was never mean in any way, only ever extremely apologetic and doing my best to fix things.

Anyways, pretty sure this girl is a bit crazy, can't really spell, and doesn't know how civil court works. Like I said, I know she has nothing to hold against me and I can definitely understand why she's upset. She's completely justified in that, but I just really don't want to have to maybe drop everything one day to go to court against her somewhere far away because she lives...somewhere in the middle of MN.

So there's that update.

[drucilla]

Wow, can you say cyber bullying?
They can't sue you, besides you have more of a case against them since they are actually hurting your business with their attacks on your character.

[Ayla of Duluth]

I know she can't sue me for not showing up, but I'm curious if she could sue me for the amount she payed to the venue for the time she booked it? I'd be pretty damn angry too if I paid $200 to have a pool party and the main character didn't show up, but could she maybe make me pay for that? hmm. I should be a lawyer.

[drucilla]

Was she going to have the party there anyways or did she book it just for you?

[Ayla of Duluth]

I'm pretty sure she booked it for me. Like "hey, my niece's birthday is coming up, we should hire that mermaid! I'll go book the venue." Something like that. Basically they ended up having a pool party without the mermaid.

[Mermaid Kelda]

It might be an idea to respond eloquently to her comment. You can't delete it, or just leave it there without response, so maybe explain that you offered the free party and got no response.

[MermaidRanoria]

My condolences for what has transpired. You definitely don't deserve to be harassed about it. Mistakes happen, and upset unsatisfied people wont get that. This happens to every business owner at some point, or something to this degree. I can't give strait up legal advice but I can speak from personal experience of owning my own business. I have dealt with some loons in in my day.

First, If you have a verbal agreement with a person ma, pa, and anti ann do not get involved in a hazing party. This behavior is absurd and uncalled for. These people who have no relationship to a contract can be sued in return. I'm sure that is not a route you would like to take, but its an option if it is prolonged behavior and they actually financially impact your business.

Secondly, find out about Minnesota wire tapping laws. I know here in Texas it is a one party system (or it was?). MN may have a two party system where you have to physically display or tell the person you are recording them. Many people claim to have recorded conversations. Very rarely is this true. Usually they're blowing it out of their lower windpipe because they are dense as balsa wood. If the wire tapping laws there are a two party system then her "evidence" is dismissed then actually just makes her look more like a nut job.

Third, get all your upcoming clients contacts and call and verify your upcoming appointments. This will have a positive effect and reassure them that you will show in case they caught wind of the "reviews." IF they haven't it's just a good business habit to get into. Keep record of all client correspondence both before a gig and after. Even if its positive! You never know when you may need that positive reinforcement for your business!

Forth, don't sweat it. This stuff happens. Contractors, independent business owners, and anything in between have it rough. Learn from the experience and move on. Easier said then done. I know. Personaly if they still haven't responded to your offer remove them from you page. At this point 10 days later they are making empty threats and harassing you.

It seems everyone has given you pretty good advice on how to handle client relations and correspondence already so I wish you the best of luck!

[Ayla of Duluth]

Yeah. She said she had records of our "verbal contract" or something to that effect. I don't recall it being a contract, I don't even know if that's possible because...how can you have a contract without a signature? Our phone call just consisted of her asking questions about what I do and then her giving me a date and time.

Also why would she record the phone call? Did she expect something like this to happen?

Its just fun to think about.

Also, thanks to Annwyn Mermaid for the kind words on my page :) Should lighten the mood over there a bit

[MermaidRanoria]

I know she can't sue me for not showing up, but I'm curious if she could sue me for the amount she payed to the venue for the time she booked it? I'd be pretty damn angry too if I paid $200 to have a pool party and the main character didn't show up, but could she maybe make me pay for that? hmm. I should be a lawyer.

I would check with a lawyer or someone savy with law, but in most states I don't think this will fly. You are not in contract with the pool facility, nore was it a package deal. I'm sure they used the pool for the party despite your absence. She has a written contract with the pool for sure due to liability issues. Unless you signed something with her then I don't see how you are liable to the services the pool provided her.

Edit:
Also to add my previous statement it may be best to look into the legitimacy of oral contracts in your state. Some states hold value to them some do not. If it really was just setting a date and you never set a price then its not a contract for your services it was contract for your time which. She can't sue for an amount she didn't know she was going to pay. Silly woman, and her asshattery. Again - not legal advice. I would consult someone. Empowerment and knowing yoru rights is one of the keys to being successful.

[AniaR]

Threaten legal action formally in an email
Looks like you dodged a bullet with that crazy

Sent from my Nexus 4 using Tapatalk

[PearlieMae]

You might look into the local chapter of the Small Business Administration before spending money on a lawyer. They love to mentor new businesses and may be able to offer assistance as well...many SBA members are attorneys.

[Mermaid Momo]

maybe you should post one post on your page about why you weren't there ( that you were at work) I once missed an event at a library where i was booked and I posted on my facebook that i had missed it and i apologized and gave away a free drawing and skype lesson to someone who missed the chance of seeing my lesson.

[AniaR]

You don't have to apologize but you can make a statement explaining you've offered compensation and it was ignored. Having done all you can you will now ban them from harassing you. You made a mistake it doesn't mean they can harass you.

Sent from my Nexus 4 using Tapatalk

[shimmygoddess]

yikes, what a mess. I am sorry they are harassing you on your page. I can't understand how they have any basis though since they didnt' pay your anything. Unless like you said they booked the pool. However did they still use it, swim, and have a party? I have learned in the past that verbal contracts just do not work. When I do dance gigs, there is always a contract and a nonrefundable deposit. If for some reason, I could not do it, at the last minute, it states in my contract that they cannot sue or hold me accountable and that I do my best to find a suitable replacement. They would get all their monies back. I think if you had used a contract with similar wording, then they would have no basis for their claims, but this is just my guess. I know it doesn't help much now, but make sure you use some type of contract in the future. Good luck

[Ayla of Duluth]

yikes, what a mess. I am sorry they are harassing you on your page. I can't understand how they have any basis though since they didnt' pay your anything. Unless like you said they booked the pool. However did they still use it, swim, and have a party? I have learned in the past that verbal contracts just do not work. When I do dance gigs, there is always a contract and a nonrefundable deposit. If for some reason, I could not do it, at the last minute, it states in my contract that they cannot sue or hold me accountable and that I do my best to find a suitable replacement. They would get all their monies back. I think if you had used a contract with similar wording, then they would have no basis for their claims, but this is just my guess. I know it doesn't help much now, but make sure you use some type of contract in the future. Good luck

Yes, that was the same thing I was thinking. Sure, they paid the venue, but they also got to do their party and swim, so as far as that goes, they got what they paid for.

[Winged Mermaid]

I'm sorry this happened to you :( At this point it just sounds like she's harassing you and won't take legal action. If she does I kinda doubt she has a leg to stand on. Hugs to you! :hug:

[drucilla]

Hope everything turns out well for you and your business. :rainbow:

[Mermaid Momo]

You sent them emails right? (I've been following your FB feed too) maybe take screenshots of them with all the sent days and times that shows that you sent them something and send it to the mom (since you said you emailed the aunt) or who ever it was that was also complaining about you not making offers for a free party explaining that you did in fact send the emails and that your offer is available but you won't tolerate any more hijacking of your fee posts or harassing behavior.

That's what I would do at this point. I do have to say that you have been handling it very well!


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk - now Free (http://tapatalk.com/m?id=1)

[Ayla of Duluth]

I have everything that I sent them and received from them, emails, facebook messages, etc. I feel really bad because I did try to call one of them a few times (I'm not sure anymore who I'm supposed to sort this out with, the mother or the sister) and I did offer the sister a free party, which went unacknowledged, and here the mother is messaging me saying I never did any of those things, even though I have proof I did. Anyways, I did post a comment saying that I no longer wished to do business with them because their constant harassment makes me feel like doing a gig with them wouldn't be very safe for me. I mean really, they threatened to take me to court and they never even paid me. What would they say or do if we actually met face to face? So due to the way they handled the situation, I decided to take back my offer for a party.

[AniaR]

Just a copy from what I said on FB because it's all true and I looked it all up for your state (just for context sake)

Ayla, legally if money was not exchanged you didn't even have to show up regardless of the reason. But you admitted to a scheduling mistake, tried several times to offer an alternative which you didn't legally have to do, and instead of accepting that these women have chosen to harass you and try to convince you that illegally recording you is a binding contract- which it isn't. Do you know one of the main reasons none of this holds up in court or the b.b.b? Because its an old trick competitors do to try and undermine their competition. They pretend to be the competition, make appointments, and don't show up. People get away with maliciously doing this all the time. You did it by accident and did everything you could to make it right. These women are the ones who have overstepped. I'd be happy to help you get set up for a cease and desist. They are slandering you by trying to distort the situation in the public eye as means of intimidation.

Don't let some ladies who type in text speak harass you. You do not have to tolerate it. Block them and ban them from your page. If they try to press any kind of charge ( they won't. They have no case. They're all talk) don't worry. You will win or it will get thrown out.

[drucilla]

Just a copy from what I said on FB because it's all true and I looked it all up for your state (just for context sake)

Ayla, legally if money was not exchanged you didn't even have to show up regardless of the reason. But you admitted to a scheduling mistake, tried several times to offer an alternative which you didn't legally have to do, and instead of accepting that these women have chosen to harass you and try to convince you that illegally recording you is a binding contract- which it isn't. Do you know one of the main reasons none of this holds up in court or the b.b.b? Because its an old trick competitors do to try and undermine their competition. They pretend to be the competition, make appointments, and don't show up. People get away with maliciously doing this all the time. You did it by accident and did everything you could to make it right. These women are the ones who have overstepped. I'd be happy to help you get set up for a cease and desist. They are slandering you by trying to distort the situation in the public eye as means of intimidation.

Don't let some ladies who type in text speak harass you. You do not have to tolerate it. Block them and ban them from your page. If they try to press any kind of charge ( they won't. They have no case. They're all talk) don't worry. You will win or it will get thrown out.
That's really nice of you AniaR to take your time to find the laws for that area and posting that on her page to help defend her and help her keep records of it.