I think I've lost it...

[Ashe]

Hey guys, remember me? Haha hopefully :P So as you can tell I have not posted in a very long time - not because I've been too busy, not because my computer broke, but just because I'm not interested anymore. I just don't feel the connection to mermaiding and dreaming of the sea.
And that is one of my biggest fears and I have no idea what to do.
I've tried watching mermaid movies and videos for hours on end, I've tried drawing and writing about mermaids, heck, I've even started to make a new tail!! But nothing has seemed to pull me back to being a mermaid. It's been almost an entire year since I've swam as a mermaid - sure I've swam in a tail, but I mean actually swimming with the mindset of a true mer.
I want to be a mermaid again so badly, but my mind somehow pushes it away, and I have no idea how or why. I need your guys' help, I really do. I once loved this community so much and I wish that I could do that again.

What do I do?

[SeaGlass Siren]

i fell out of love for mermaids when i was your age too. don't worry, if you feel the need to take a break from it, just take the time off. you'll come back to it when you feel compelled to. it's like a tiny midlife crisis you're having (what a bad comparison but lol...)

[Ashe]

Midlife crisis :lol:
But I've taken about a year off, and I don't want to spend anymore time away. I'm just afraid that if I don't come back soon, I never will. Ya know?

[SeaSister]

I totally get where your coming from, Kalani. It hasn't happened to me for mermaiding (still as determined as ever to save up for a Merbellas tail and maybe top!) but I seem to have this issue where I get REALLY into something for a while (eg, steampunk and corsets was something I was really into for a long time), but then the passion just sort of... wears off. I really hope it doesn't happen to me with mermaiding, but like I said, I understand how you feel because I've felt like that far too many times. :/

As for advice... I'm not sure I'm in a place to give any lol. It sounds like you've already tried most of the things that I myself would do - drawing/art, writing, swimming, etc. You know what, though, I think I know something that would work for me (although it's not for everyone, to be sure). Sometimes when I feel totally stressed out about life and just want to rediscover passion, inner peace and direction I imagine myself going for a random solo road-trip. I haven't gotten up the guts (or the funds!) to do it yet, but occasionally I will just go on a spontaneous "mini-road-trip" and just let the road take me somewhere I've never been before. I find it refreshing, if only temporarily. But one time I'd like to do an actual road-trip and maybe to go Vancouver Island and drive around, visiting the beaches and other places of natural, untouched beauty. If nothing else, being in nature for me allows me the time to think about what's important while rejecting the duties of "the real world", even though it's just momentary. I really believe that the fast-paced world in which we now live is enough to really drag us down mentally and emotionally, and it's good to take a break from that for a while. Maybe if you could just let go of your duties for a while, take a day off of work, school, your cell phone, social media, etc. etc (I know, it's really not as easy as it sounds!) and just take the time be and breathe deeply you might rediscover what mermaiding means to you. Do something spontaneous, go to the beach, feel the earth beneath your bare feet, do yoga on the sand, climb a tree, do something crazy... doesn't matter. Just take the time to just be yourself, forgetting about the rest of the world. Again, this might not be for everyone, but for myself it feels really good, since I can oftentimes get weighed down by things like depression, disappointment in myself and the world, confusion about where I'm supposed to go, worrying about the future, all that fun stuff.

Anyways, I'll stop rambling now. XP

[AniaR]

sometimes people go in and out. I really enjoy it most of the time, but some days I don't wanna look at my tail because I'm used to being so busy an dit's nice to have a break lol

[Alveric]

Life is not static, there is an ebb and flow. Right now your mer is on an ebb. Fighting it will only lead to frustration. Go ahead and do some other things you like, let the tide turn naturally. The very fact that you are worried about it shows that you still care, therefore it will come back.

[SeaGlass Siren]

If it makes you feel any better it took me about 8 years to come back to being ocean and mermaid obsessed.

[AptaMer]

Hey Kalani, Don't know if this would be helpful or not . . . but what about seeing if there's a club in your area where you could start learning skills that would be valuable for mermaiding, and you would make some great new friends as well. I'm thinking about a freediving club, if there is one in your area. My experience with our club has been they're great people, and learning freediving can't help but make you a better mermaider, swimmer, and safer in the water, at least that's what i think.(Makes note to self- need to get workload reduced, get a life, and get back out to Freedive Toronto swims :) )

[SeaGlass Siren]

..... and get back out to Freedive Toronto swims :)



WE HAVE THAT HERE???? OAO

[AptaMer]

WE HAVE THAT HERE???? OAO

Yup!

http://freedivetoronto.com/

Practice/learning nights are every Monday, 9:30 pm at the Etobicoke Olympium. The club does all kinds of cool things in the summer like freediving trips, and they host AIDA events when they're happening in Toronto.

You join in person at one of the club nights. Send an email to info@freedivetoronto to let them know you're a beginner and which night you'll be coming to, then you fill in a form there, and join only if you like the club after you finish your first session. Ha, ha, this is redundant- all the info is here: http://freedivetoronto.com/join/

Anyhow, if you don't have gear yet don't sweat it. The members bring extra stuff, especially if you've given them a heads-up you'll be coming, and they will let you use borrowed gear to get started. Be forewarned, though, that the Olympium keeps the pool fairly cool. Some of the folks with a little more bodyfat are OK in just a bathing suit, but most of the folks bring along a bit of extra coverage for warmth. Rashguard, unitard, some folks even wear a wetsuit in the pool. A swim cap helps keep you warm too.

They also have a great deal on club wetsuits ($214 for a real open-cell freediving suit with attached hood)

I must apologize for not following up on mer-socializing here in Toronto, maybe once I can finally get out to club nights again that could be a cool way to say hello IRL.

PS Apologies for the thread hijack, Kalani.

[Blondie]

This happens to me a lot.

This early summer I was prepared to make silicone tops. However each day I just felt less and less into mermaiding. I still came on the network but not everyday like I used to. I only used my tail once this summer for about 20 minutes. It comes and goes with me too. I enjoy watching others mermaid and create things. But I'm not really into swimming in my tail anymore. I can't tell if I'm just growing up or falling out of love with it. I think it's still amazing, but more so to watch than do anymore.

[Mermaid Kalliope]

:< Sad to hear that, Kalani! I'll miss my name buddy! <3

I've had disconnected moments here and there with mermaiding, but when my life gets super sad and crappy... Mermaiding makes me happy. (Rhyme was not intentional. XD)

I'd say to just step back and take a breather. Like Alveric said, the fact that you care means something. You just need to take a break. Everyone takes a different amount of time to refresh from something. I'm sure you will bounce back. I have this happen to me all the time with drawing and/or crocheting... Sometimes... I just... I don't have the love and passion for it like I had a week prior. It just happens. Brains need to be stimulated, your brain might just be burnt out on all the fishy stuff.

:-P Hope that helps. <3 Hearts and bubbles!

[MerEmma]

I feel like with mermaiding we all kind of take the idea of hobby to the next level and basically LIVE it for a while...haha. It's no wonder you sometimes need a break and if you don't return, that's okay, even if you want to. I've felt disconnected from the mermaids for a while before but not enough to really do much...although I'll bet my time will come eventually. From what I can tell, it's pretty normal to experience that.

I remember Raina mentioning that Raven even needed a break at one point.

[Ashe]

Thanks for your kind words and support you guys <3 Its just been the strangest thing being a mermaid for so long and then it just... stops. I honestly think that talking with you guys has brought me back just a little bit more, and my faith in being able to return has restored. I just love you guys <3 <3 <3

[Ariadne]

This has happened to me in the last few weeks as well, I think with fall upon us and winter around the corner, it is hard for me to feel very mermaidy away from the sand, sun and surf...but I'm sure I will come back around!

[Mermaid Kalliope]

Ariadne has a point! It's tough to swim this time of year! Dern you southern hemispehere mers! Haha

[Mermaid Kelda]

Ariadne has a point! It's tough to swim this time of year! Dern you southern hemispehere mers! Haha
Hey, no fair, we have to huddle up during our winter while the internet explodes with pictures of sand and sun and the words "hello summer!" plastered everywhere. And you guys don't have to sweat through your Christmas :P

[Elle]

Hey, no fair, we have to huddle up during our winter while the internet explodes with pictures of sand and sun and the words "hello summer!" plastered everywhere. And you guys don't have to sweat through your Christmas :P


Indeed...I'd rather have a white Christmas than sitting around in a singlet and shorts with a water sprayer and a fan. And it usually rains a lot right after new years. our old place (we weren't living there at the time) was underwater in 2011.

[Ashe]

Hey all, it's me again! And I think I have some great news...

I live in California, and despite it being winter, it was hot. My friends and I decided to go to the beach and what worried me was never once did I think about anything mermaid related when we were planning this (I later thought of this after). But anyways, we got there and as I stepped out of the truck I began to feel something. Not quite sure what it was, but it felt like memories flooding back, even though I couldn't really make out exactly what I was remembering. As my girlfriends layed out their towels and started to lay down themselves, I saw some beautiful shell fragments scattered among the rocks (yes, I have a thing for large shell fragments haha). Then I started to really see and hear the waves. It was the strangest thing because they were just so loud and I felt detached from everything else.

The REALLY amazing part was that I remembered hearing these waves when I first became a mer, and now I was hearing them again for what seemed like forever. I put my shells away and dragged my friends into the water with me. I loved the feeling of the water and it really brought me back.
While I can't say that I was constantly thinking of mermaids and my connection to the ocean the entire time like I used to, I have a feeling that I might be back.

Mermaiding has always been a symbol of happiness, and lately I just haven't been the same person I used to. Stuff's been happening and it's been really distracting me from the things I love, mermaiding included. But I feel like returning to the beach today really changed something in my heart, and I am literally feeling better already.

I just want to say that if I am back for sure, is that I really love you guys. A couple years ago I could come to you with my problems and you would always make me feel better and keep me going, and I am so grateful for that. Even with this thread, you told me that the fact that I still cared enough to create a post meant something, and that this wasn't forever. Some people may see us as just another forum, but I think we're more than that <3

I can't wait to catch up and meet all the new mers!

With lots of love,
Kalani

[OceanRose]

Hi Kalani!

I didn't have a chance to get to know you earlier, but I am really glad you have come back.
Reading about your renewed mermaid connection, it made me feel like I was there with you :-)

Welcome back!

[Ashe]

^^Thank you love <3

[Winged Mermaid]

I'm really glad to hear that it made you feel better Kalani <3 If you're back that would be great, but if not I'm glad that you could at least uncover that source of happiness in your heart again. :hug: And if you end up deciding to trade your tail for legs permanently, you can always poke your head in just to chat :)

[Ashe]

Ah thanks Iona, its means a lot! You've been an inspiration to me forever :hug:

(Ok while looking for the hug emoji, I see that we've added SO MANY new ones! Better keep me away from them, last time I tried putting all of the emoji's into one post and I ended up crashing the site (for me at least) until I deleted it on the mobile version :lol:

[SeaGlass Siren]

Kailani that's wonderful to hear! :hug: