Azurin Luna
11-06-2013, 09:35 AM
I'm writing a story about a girl who got stranded on an island and eventually meets a merman. Though I'm kinda scared to show it, I still wanted to share it as it might help me get better in writing.
Please remember that English isn't my native language. Any help would be nice.
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Stranded.
"Land." was all she could think when she crawled onto the beach, coughing from the sea water.
After days on the water, or at least she thought it were days, she finally had solid ground underneath her. She had no idea where she was or how she got here, the last thing she could remember was the plane having serious trouble and crashed into the ocean. Somehow she had survived the crash with a few others, but she didn't see them here.
"Where am I?" she said as she looked around.
The beach was white and the forest behind it looked as it had never been touched. There was no sign of any city or civilization here. It just looked like your perfect bounty island.
"I'm stranded... On an island with no one around? All alone..." she sighed, "at least the weather is a lot better now."
She got up, still shaky from being in the water that long, and went to the forest for some shade. As she got closer she heard birds singing and smiled a bit.
'At least there is food here,' she thought. She sat down and looked towards the ocean.
'How did I ever survive that?' she thought, 'and where am I?'
She sighed softly and closed her eyes, it was still early, so a little nap wouldn't hurt, she would go for food later on the day.
Hours later she woke up to rustling close by and looked around. She didn't see anything around her, and all she had, which wasn't much, was still in place.
"Odd," she said and got up, "I'm sure I heard something."
Looking around she still saw nothing that could have made the sound so she went to search something to eat instead and a place to stay for the night.
She walked for several hours through the forest, eating of the berries she knew that would be safe, but she had yet to find a safe place to stay for the night. Thus far she had seen trails of animals living here, but she had not seen any of them. After a while, she found a small stream of water which seemed safe enough to drink, so she took a few handfuls of water and decided to walk up stream. The stream ended in a lake which had a grass field on one side were the sun could shine on, the rest were low bushes were berries grew on and a few flowering ones with some butterflies, but still no place to stay.
She sat down at the water edge of the lake and sighed, "I will never find a safe place to stay and night is coming soon." she looked up, "guess I will have to sleep in a tree then."
She went to one of berry bushes and started to eat some more of the berries and drank from the stream of water.
"Maybe I should get rid of all the salt in my clothes..." she said as she glanced around, "I don't have to worry about others as I'm alone here, sadly"
She took her clothes off and started to rinse them in the water. Her clothes had already taken quite a beating when she had crashed with the plane and the seawater hadn't been kind to it either.
"I hope they stay together a bit longer," she said as she pulled them from the water.
She laid them to dry on one of the rocks nearby and stepped into the lake. The water was quite nice, not as cold as someone would expect from a well. She dove underwater and surfaced near the center of the lake and started to float on her back.
"Ah... This is much better," she whispered as she idly floated around.
Suddenly she felt something brush along her fingers and she splashed up to look around what it could have been, but she saw nothing but the ripples she made herself. Just as she was looking around it happened again, but now along her foot, which made her giggle slightly as giving her the shivers. She started to swim quickly towards the edge of the lake, she wasn't as alone as she thought she was. As she climbed to safety a head slowly appeared behind her from the water. Quickly she got up and grabbed her clothes and moved further away from the water edge.
The figure in the water got to the edge and rested himself lazily on the rocks there, watching her hurry away quickly. He hadn't seen one like her in quite some time, let alone in his home. Tilting his head slightly, he chuckled, humans were quite funny when they were in a hurry.
"Who is there?" the girl asked with a tremble in her voice.
He chuckled again and pulled himself slightly further up the rocks, "the one who saved you," he answered finally.
"What? I was miles out in the ocean, I didn't see a boat on the shore..." the she said as she dared a glance around the tree.
He smiled at her and waited for what she would do, but as she saw him, she blushed and hid again. He laughed softly, she had only seen him till his middle, but his well-toned body usually got that reaction from girls.
"Don't be alarmed, I'm decent, you don't have to stay hidden."
"Okay," came the soft answer.
She had gotten herself partially dressed again as she stepped from around the tree. Slowly she showed herself again and blushed again as she saw his body, "are you really the person who saved me? Did you find any other survivors?"
"Yes I was really the one who saved you, and no, there are no other survivors." he answered, "the other one was to weak and didn't make it to the beach."
"Who was the other?"
He shrugged slightly, "I know he was a man with a red and black shirt."
She looked down, only the cute tour guide had a shirt like that, the she didn’t know the others on the plane.
"I see..." she said finally as she looked away slightly.
He tilted his head slightly, "are you alright?"
She nodded slightly and sat down on one of the rocks, turning her back to him. He slowly got closer to her and noticed her crying softly.
'She must have just realized that she is all alone now, with another stranger,' he thought.
Slowly he placed a hand on her back, "don't be sad, you aren't alone anymore."
She wiped her tears away and looked at him, for the first time noticing that his skin was pale blue and his eyes a blue purple that normal people don't have.
"Are you alright? You look pale," she asked.
He looked at himself and chuckled, "I'm perfectly fine. Are you?"
She shook her head, "I'm stranded on an island, lost new friends and now I'm taking to someone who is pale saying he is alright. I hope this is all but a nightmare and that I will soon wake up from this."
He looked at her and let himself slip back into the water, "sad that you see it this way... I will leave you alone until you feel better again."
With that he dived underwater, giving not much then a little splash, and then he was gone. She looked back to the water, expecting him to surface on the other side of the lake, but he didn't, he was gone just as he had said.
'Would this really be a bad nightmare then?' she though, but she knew it was wishful thinking. All she knew now was that her saver had left her and that there truly were no other survivors. Sighing she put her feet in the water and stared over it.
'What was this place? How can he just disappear like that? Will he return as he had said?' all these questions ran through her head and yet she had no answer to them. She sighed again and got up, it was getting dark and she needed to find a tree to sleep in. Lucky for her she didn't have to go far before she found a suitable tree. Quickly she climbed into the tree and laid down on one of the wide branches, not as good as her own bed, but at least she would be safe for the night. Not long after that she fell asleep.
Again he surfaced and looked around, but he didn't see her anymore. He idly swam to the shore and lifted himself from the water, at the end he pushed himself from the water and landed on this belly, moving his tail uselessly through the air. Soon after that his tail changed and two legs came in its place. Slowly he got up and looked around again, trying to find her. After a moment he spotted a trail through the grass and he decided to follow it, not much later he had found the same tree she had found before. He smiled as he saw she was sleeping quietly and he walked off.
"She will do fine," he said softly to himself as he neared the lake again.
He sat down on the rock she had been sitting on and looked down the stream towards the ocean behind the forest.
"They will not be happy... But she has something different, something that makes her more then she appears.." he said to himself.
Glancing back to where she was sleeping he wondered if she would accept him, it would probably take a long time seeing as humans don't even trust their fellows. He sighed and laid down, staring up to the stars.
"Why do I always find the odd ones?" he said to himself, "maybe I should get her something better than the berries she has been eating..."
After a few moments he got up and jumped into the lake, quickly returning to his merman shape, and went in search of fish she might like.
The next morning she woke to the smell of freshly prepared food.
'Would he have been watching over me despite he said that he would leave me alone?' she wondered.
She sat up on the branch and felt that her body hurt in places she thought they couldn't hurt. She looked around, but didn't see where she smell came from or the man from yesterday. So she stretched herself and climbed down from the tree and walked back to the small lake. She didn't see him there either, but she saw a small fire with a fish on a stick hanging over it. There was also a packet of leaves next to the fire. She sat down next to it and picked the packet up, curiously looking it over before deciding to open it. When she did she found berries in it and other berries she hadn't seen yet. She smiled slightly, he had brought her breakfast and she didn't even know him at all.
"I guess it's not a dream anymore, but the sad truth I lost my friends and got stranded here," she sighed, "I will probably never see my home again either."
She started to eat her breakfast which was pretty good for something so simple after that she got up and tossed her shirt on the rocks and jumped into the lake.
"Ah the water is still nice," she smiled while running her fingers through her wet hair. She floated again on the surface of the water, staring up at a sky that slowly got brighter as the sun rose. She wondered if he would be spying on her again, though she had no clue where he would be. Maybe she even hoped that he would show up again so that she wouldn't be alone anymore. Sadly he didn't show up so she got out the water. Looking at her clothes she wondered what she would be wearing if they fell apart. She had no way of fixing them and no idea how the weather would stay, even though she thought she was on a tropical island, weather would still be able to get rough and cold. She gathered her clothes and dressed herself.
'I really need something to protect my feet...' she thought.
She looked towards the ocean, "maybe some of the stuff washed ashore... I surely hope so."
With that said she walked to the shore in the hopes of finding some useful items. As she walked she found more of the berries she had eaten before and also the bush with the new berries she had this morning, but there was no way of reaching them without getting poison ivy all over. She sighed softly and continued her journey, eating the berries she could reach.
As she stepped onto the beach she could feel that the sand had already warmed slightly, and it would only get worse the later it got. She walked to the shore and looked around, so far she saw only a few rocks and a log that had washed ashore. Still hopeful she walked along the shore in search of items she could use. After a while she came to a more rocky location with more wood washed ashore, some of it might be usable for building a roof or something like that. But still nothing else, not even plastic bags or fishing lines. She sighed and sat on one of the rocks. This wasn't going as she had planned and she had nothing to eat either. She looked back to where she came from, but couldn't see the little stream with the few rocks anymore. Sighing again she realized she had walked further then she wanted.
She looked to the forest behind her, "I can't take a short cut either... Who knows what I might encounter that way."
'Probably something that would like to eat me instead,' she thought quietly, though she hadn't seen signs of anything dangerous around.
Please remember that English isn't my native language. Any help would be nice.
-------------
Stranded.
"Land." was all she could think when she crawled onto the beach, coughing from the sea water.
After days on the water, or at least she thought it were days, she finally had solid ground underneath her. She had no idea where she was or how she got here, the last thing she could remember was the plane having serious trouble and crashed into the ocean. Somehow she had survived the crash with a few others, but she didn't see them here.
"Where am I?" she said as she looked around.
The beach was white and the forest behind it looked as it had never been touched. There was no sign of any city or civilization here. It just looked like your perfect bounty island.
"I'm stranded... On an island with no one around? All alone..." she sighed, "at least the weather is a lot better now."
She got up, still shaky from being in the water that long, and went to the forest for some shade. As she got closer she heard birds singing and smiled a bit.
'At least there is food here,' she thought. She sat down and looked towards the ocean.
'How did I ever survive that?' she thought, 'and where am I?'
She sighed softly and closed her eyes, it was still early, so a little nap wouldn't hurt, she would go for food later on the day.
Hours later she woke up to rustling close by and looked around. She didn't see anything around her, and all she had, which wasn't much, was still in place.
"Odd," she said and got up, "I'm sure I heard something."
Looking around she still saw nothing that could have made the sound so she went to search something to eat instead and a place to stay for the night.
She walked for several hours through the forest, eating of the berries she knew that would be safe, but she had yet to find a safe place to stay for the night. Thus far she had seen trails of animals living here, but she had not seen any of them. After a while, she found a small stream of water which seemed safe enough to drink, so she took a few handfuls of water and decided to walk up stream. The stream ended in a lake which had a grass field on one side were the sun could shine on, the rest were low bushes were berries grew on and a few flowering ones with some butterflies, but still no place to stay.
She sat down at the water edge of the lake and sighed, "I will never find a safe place to stay and night is coming soon." she looked up, "guess I will have to sleep in a tree then."
She went to one of berry bushes and started to eat some more of the berries and drank from the stream of water.
"Maybe I should get rid of all the salt in my clothes..." she said as she glanced around, "I don't have to worry about others as I'm alone here, sadly"
She took her clothes off and started to rinse them in the water. Her clothes had already taken quite a beating when she had crashed with the plane and the seawater hadn't been kind to it either.
"I hope they stay together a bit longer," she said as she pulled them from the water.
She laid them to dry on one of the rocks nearby and stepped into the lake. The water was quite nice, not as cold as someone would expect from a well. She dove underwater and surfaced near the center of the lake and started to float on her back.
"Ah... This is much better," she whispered as she idly floated around.
Suddenly she felt something brush along her fingers and she splashed up to look around what it could have been, but she saw nothing but the ripples she made herself. Just as she was looking around it happened again, but now along her foot, which made her giggle slightly as giving her the shivers. She started to swim quickly towards the edge of the lake, she wasn't as alone as she thought she was. As she climbed to safety a head slowly appeared behind her from the water. Quickly she got up and grabbed her clothes and moved further away from the water edge.
The figure in the water got to the edge and rested himself lazily on the rocks there, watching her hurry away quickly. He hadn't seen one like her in quite some time, let alone in his home. Tilting his head slightly, he chuckled, humans were quite funny when they were in a hurry.
"Who is there?" the girl asked with a tremble in her voice.
He chuckled again and pulled himself slightly further up the rocks, "the one who saved you," he answered finally.
"What? I was miles out in the ocean, I didn't see a boat on the shore..." the she said as she dared a glance around the tree.
He smiled at her and waited for what she would do, but as she saw him, she blushed and hid again. He laughed softly, she had only seen him till his middle, but his well-toned body usually got that reaction from girls.
"Don't be alarmed, I'm decent, you don't have to stay hidden."
"Okay," came the soft answer.
She had gotten herself partially dressed again as she stepped from around the tree. Slowly she showed herself again and blushed again as she saw his body, "are you really the person who saved me? Did you find any other survivors?"
"Yes I was really the one who saved you, and no, there are no other survivors." he answered, "the other one was to weak and didn't make it to the beach."
"Who was the other?"
He shrugged slightly, "I know he was a man with a red and black shirt."
She looked down, only the cute tour guide had a shirt like that, the she didn’t know the others on the plane.
"I see..." she said finally as she looked away slightly.
He tilted his head slightly, "are you alright?"
She nodded slightly and sat down on one of the rocks, turning her back to him. He slowly got closer to her and noticed her crying softly.
'She must have just realized that she is all alone now, with another stranger,' he thought.
Slowly he placed a hand on her back, "don't be sad, you aren't alone anymore."
She wiped her tears away and looked at him, for the first time noticing that his skin was pale blue and his eyes a blue purple that normal people don't have.
"Are you alright? You look pale," she asked.
He looked at himself and chuckled, "I'm perfectly fine. Are you?"
She shook her head, "I'm stranded on an island, lost new friends and now I'm taking to someone who is pale saying he is alright. I hope this is all but a nightmare and that I will soon wake up from this."
He looked at her and let himself slip back into the water, "sad that you see it this way... I will leave you alone until you feel better again."
With that he dived underwater, giving not much then a little splash, and then he was gone. She looked back to the water, expecting him to surface on the other side of the lake, but he didn't, he was gone just as he had said.
'Would this really be a bad nightmare then?' she though, but she knew it was wishful thinking. All she knew now was that her saver had left her and that there truly were no other survivors. Sighing she put her feet in the water and stared over it.
'What was this place? How can he just disappear like that? Will he return as he had said?' all these questions ran through her head and yet she had no answer to them. She sighed again and got up, it was getting dark and she needed to find a tree to sleep in. Lucky for her she didn't have to go far before she found a suitable tree. Quickly she climbed into the tree and laid down on one of the wide branches, not as good as her own bed, but at least she would be safe for the night. Not long after that she fell asleep.
Again he surfaced and looked around, but he didn't see her anymore. He idly swam to the shore and lifted himself from the water, at the end he pushed himself from the water and landed on this belly, moving his tail uselessly through the air. Soon after that his tail changed and two legs came in its place. Slowly he got up and looked around again, trying to find her. After a moment he spotted a trail through the grass and he decided to follow it, not much later he had found the same tree she had found before. He smiled as he saw she was sleeping quietly and he walked off.
"She will do fine," he said softly to himself as he neared the lake again.
He sat down on the rock she had been sitting on and looked down the stream towards the ocean behind the forest.
"They will not be happy... But she has something different, something that makes her more then she appears.." he said to himself.
Glancing back to where she was sleeping he wondered if she would accept him, it would probably take a long time seeing as humans don't even trust their fellows. He sighed and laid down, staring up to the stars.
"Why do I always find the odd ones?" he said to himself, "maybe I should get her something better than the berries she has been eating..."
After a few moments he got up and jumped into the lake, quickly returning to his merman shape, and went in search of fish she might like.
The next morning she woke to the smell of freshly prepared food.
'Would he have been watching over me despite he said that he would leave me alone?' she wondered.
She sat up on the branch and felt that her body hurt in places she thought they couldn't hurt. She looked around, but didn't see where she smell came from or the man from yesterday. So she stretched herself and climbed down from the tree and walked back to the small lake. She didn't see him there either, but she saw a small fire with a fish on a stick hanging over it. There was also a packet of leaves next to the fire. She sat down next to it and picked the packet up, curiously looking it over before deciding to open it. When she did she found berries in it and other berries she hadn't seen yet. She smiled slightly, he had brought her breakfast and she didn't even know him at all.
"I guess it's not a dream anymore, but the sad truth I lost my friends and got stranded here," she sighed, "I will probably never see my home again either."
She started to eat her breakfast which was pretty good for something so simple after that she got up and tossed her shirt on the rocks and jumped into the lake.
"Ah the water is still nice," she smiled while running her fingers through her wet hair. She floated again on the surface of the water, staring up at a sky that slowly got brighter as the sun rose. She wondered if he would be spying on her again, though she had no clue where he would be. Maybe she even hoped that he would show up again so that she wouldn't be alone anymore. Sadly he didn't show up so she got out the water. Looking at her clothes she wondered what she would be wearing if they fell apart. She had no way of fixing them and no idea how the weather would stay, even though she thought she was on a tropical island, weather would still be able to get rough and cold. She gathered her clothes and dressed herself.
'I really need something to protect my feet...' she thought.
She looked towards the ocean, "maybe some of the stuff washed ashore... I surely hope so."
With that said she walked to the shore in the hopes of finding some useful items. As she walked she found more of the berries she had eaten before and also the bush with the new berries she had this morning, but there was no way of reaching them without getting poison ivy all over. She sighed softly and continued her journey, eating the berries she could reach.
As she stepped onto the beach she could feel that the sand had already warmed slightly, and it would only get worse the later it got. She walked to the shore and looked around, so far she saw only a few rocks and a log that had washed ashore. Still hopeful she walked along the shore in search of items she could use. After a while she came to a more rocky location with more wood washed ashore, some of it might be usable for building a roof or something like that. But still nothing else, not even plastic bags or fishing lines. She sighed and sat on one of the rocks. This wasn't going as she had planned and she had nothing to eat either. She looked back to where she came from, but couldn't see the little stream with the few rocks anymore. Sighing again she realized she had walked further then she wanted.
She looked to the forest behind her, "I can't take a short cut either... Who knows what I might encounter that way."
'Probably something that would like to eat me instead,' she thought quietly, though she hadn't seen signs of anything dangerous around.