A mermaid's sacrifice

[Odette]

Hi, everyone. I haven't been very active online in awhile and i miss the forum, but now I will have more time. sort of.:rollover:


I just finished the “Mist tour 2013”. Mentioned it a few times, but I absolutely suck at self-promoting online.:doh: This was a neat opportunity to get to perform in different states that I didn’t think I would ever perform for, but this opportunity also was more like a band-aid for what is really happening.

I was over at my Boyfriends house early morning in Eastern Tucson. I wanted to surprise him, but he surprised me. He got a call from a university. He just got accepted into medical school. Now, we have been together for 2 years which is my longest relationship and his too. We have talked about medical school and I dreaded this day hoping we could wait one more year before he got in. I had just gotten some great opportunities in Tucson that I was working on for a long time.
I put myself out there and now it could all end. As he got off the phone and told his mom, he asked “ you will come with me, right”? Oh that face! Of course I can’t leave him up there all alone. “We have two weeks to get up there”. W-What? They called him at the last minute to attend this year and I am so scared right now.
I had just done my scuba class and need to finish the open water part, I had three photo shoots I was going to do and a video, Just agreed to direct a Halloween play, I had gigs coming up and offers I wanted to do, and I was going to get steady work as the mermaid entertainer for a public pool ( I worked so hard for that one!) and be in their commercial. All gone. I have to quit my only job as a mermaid.

All this is going through my head and once I was alone I just screamed “ the hell im quitting!!” and I started to look through my emails for any leads I got from out of state on our route and even at places that were on route I could email about having me.I asked my boyfriend if I could apply myself to gigs on our route and he was cool with it only if they didn’t mess up getting to Kentucky in time. I ended up successfully getting some simple gigs on short notice which was awesome but really hectic and stressful.
I looked around where his new school was. I knew from the time he applied there that it was going to be terrible for me with no real opportunities to expand business there.There was no pool on google. No places of entertainment, no clean or swimmable lakes or rivers and any city is two hours away. I was so upset. I want both love and to build a career. I signed up for more classes to get a new degree in business management online even thought I finished school already to be a vet tech. I just went crazy with determination. I have such big ideas and I will not give up.

Now I have to figure out how to get to my other gigs while still fitting the medical student’s schedule. Having one car is awful and so are blocks exams. Ended up missing a gig in NM because it was too close to the block exam. And I felt rushed doing a gig in Lexington because he needs to have that free time to study. They have too much to learn in a very small amount of time. He does indeed take time to help me and loves me. I cook, clean, and do laundry for him as well as help pay for things and he Helped take pictures a few times now and keeps an eye on me when he can during gigs. I kept getting leads last month, but since I stopped posting, they have slowed down a lot which is great because it crushes my heart when I can’t do something. And so many times now I have tried to make it work, but the other end won’t comply either or I can’t get a ride to the airport. What a mess. We aren't even married and even though he is the best boyfriend I have ever had, am I going to let someone slow me down? I don't know, but after seeing him walk down the isle for his white coat ceremony, I felt so amazing that i found someone who is just as determined to work for their dreams.



I posted this just in case anyone else has had to sacrifice a dream or big opportunities . Maybe this will make you feel better that you are not alone. Feel free to share with me.
Iv'e seen that some mers have grown over the months and im so happy for everyone that got their new tails and who have made their own or got their first gigs. I'm so happy to see everyone growing and following their goals. :D



So I gave up my tail (sort of) for legs in the hopes of having true love. Hopefully it won't end like "The Little Mermaid" and he falls for some other girl and i turn to foam.

Mermaid Odette is still around and im still doing work, but a lot less often, but i will market myself online a lot better. Next gig is Phoenix for otherworlds. http://www.otherworldsfestival.com/#!entertainment/c141e I'm supposed to be on a billboard sign off of I-17. Let me know if you get a chance to see it.

Much love,
Mermaid Odette, The Swimming Mermaid Of Arizona:mermaid kiss:

[Seatan]

Mine was kind of backward of yours. I met a man, he was perfect for me and I was perfect for him. Everything meshed so well, it was all wondrous, we were going to get married, I had the engagement ring, the date was set, my dress was in my closet (still is), and then... His mother. She threw a fit, said she wouldn't come said she would disown him, etc. Claimed it was because I'm white and "white people can't love black people like black people can" (he was black), but it was really because she is obsessed with him. Would call at one in the morning to say 'hello.' Eventually the tension became so great that I asked him if he really wanted to do this. He hemed and hawed and finally said he wanted to marry me, just not right THEN.

I could have stayed with him (a family is my big dream), could have gone ahead with the torture of not knowing if it would ever happen, not knowing if this was real, etc, and keep both my dream and the man I loved (still love) or I could do what I needed to do for me, which was get out of a relationship he was obviously not mature enough to be in if his mother was controlling his actions.

I opted out, even though I loved him and he loved me. I still love him.

You have to do what's right for you. Since you say you love him, my instinct is to say "who cares about anything else, be with him," but if your other dreams are a greater love than he is, that's where there's an issue. So I don't know any advice for you, but I do know what it feels like to come so close to a dream and have it trickle down the toilet. :(

--end depressing moment--

YEEHAW! dance dance :lol::lol::lol: I'm happy, oh so happy! ;P

[Echidna]

Um.
Well, I wish you all the best.

I would've opted for the mermaid career though.
There are billions of guys out there :p but just one dream career.

(yea, I'm unromantic)

[PearlieMae]

A s someone whose had a couple of multi-decade relationships, don't give up on your dream of mermaiding, and don't sacrifice love because you have to put it on hold for a while. You've got time!

[drucilla]

I understand what you are going through. I can't post my experiences at this time to comfort you though, it's not something I can share with the world just yet, I need more time. I'm sorry.

[Mermaid Kelda]

Have you thought about having a long-distance relationship at all? It's not really fair to have to give up all this hard work you've done so he can live his dream. I feel that being apart for a while (but still together) can be a good test of the strength of your relationship. Because if you're married and have kids in the future, and are both working in your own careers, you're not always going to be able to be in the same place.

[AniaR]

Awww. My boyfriend and I have been together 6 years and have sacrificed a lot for each other. And it's always been worth it. And the thing is, I have supported him for years and now we're in a place where we can go for broke with the mermaid stuff. You may be sacrificing your fin to a point but it means you have time for marketing, and networking, and more things like that. Which is what I've done in the past years when I couldn't do as much mermaid actual stuff. And now it's paying off big time for me because I can support myself AND him through my mermaid life! <3

Relationships are about give and take, but our society teaches us it's all about the "me" and never having to compromise. Compromise- even for big things, can be a big moment of growth and end up working better for you in the end. :)

I know this isn't the end of your mermaid dream, you're pausing it to focus on his medical dream. And that will come back around for you again. :)

[ShyMer]

Odette- Something I think I get from your post is that you are sad to see your mermaiding put on hold for a while, but you feel like you made the right decision to go with him. You don't like that you had to make a choice, but you picked the one that feels best for right now. I am so bad at that- I'm always second guessing myself about anything. I can also relate to the single car problem. I hope he appreciates you for the awesome lady you are!

[AniaR]

and honestly Odette, I make this work in a place where 8-10 months out of the year I can't be anywhere outside. I know you can too

[Fun123joker]

how about every summer you go back and have your business be a seasonal service.

[Odette]

Thank you very much, everyone. I am absolutely grateful for all these comments. I knew that mers would fully understand how im feeling more than anyone and I really appreciate everyone's feedback . I have thought about going back to Arizona for seasonal things, but now I found a job and i can't spend all summer down there. I wouldn't have minded the long distance relationship thing, but there was no way he would have been happy with that.
I am planning on using what time i do have to myself to finish my experiments and research for new things I plan to bring to the mermaid world and hopefully get most of these ideas started by next summer.