bulemia

[Lotus]

Hello,
My name is Nicole Colchiski. I'm a perfectionist. And I'm bulemic. I never thought I would have an eating disorder. I have kept it a secret for so so long. I can't anymore. I'm destroying myself from the inside out. I'm not like this because I want to be thin and perfect. I'm like this because it's the only thing I have control over and it soothes me. We all talk about having money issues- like how we can't afford that MVD tail, or how expensive supplies are... I have three children and I have pawned every valuable thing I own so we have lights and water. I'm not asking for sympathy. I just want to get this off my chest, and I would rather do it here where I feel accepted than at OA.
So there it is. I'm flawed, but I love my family and I will do anything I have to to keep them safe. Even if it kills me. Thanks for listening.

[AniaR]

Oh Nicole :( Im sorry, I do not have to struggle with an eating disorder but Ive had horrible problems I'd never post online and money has been hard too. I love you for being brave and admitting your weakness. Fairytales are nice to skip away to but at the end of the day we still need to put food on the table and take care of those in our care. Baby girl you are not alone so please if you need to talk reach out we're all here to hold you up in whatever way we can. <3 If you have a donation like for paypal or something Id be happy to pass it around as much as possible! big hugs

[Lotus]

Thanks Raina, I really appreciate it.

[Aquatica]

I am very sorry to here this....
I am happy that you admit you have a problem but I am sorry that the only place you feel safe enough to do it is one line. I know life can be very hard at times and it feel like we are all alone in our problems. Just know you’re not alone. I would do anything for my child, in the past I have sold some stuff and I have skipped meals so I would have the food for my son to eat.
There are always people out there who are wanting/ willing to help.
I do not want to be out of line here but you may want to seek some professional help. The advice and support professionals can help you regain your health and help you deal with your problems in a better way.
There are always free places to get help from….just need to do a little research. The internet is get for that.
I hope I do not come across as preachy or telling you what to do, when I first say the post come up I wanted to reply.
I wish you all the best and will send some prayers your way.

[Lotus]

you're not preachy, Sean, I appreciate your concern. I actually do see a therapists regularly, she's the one who suggested I get it off my chest in a place where I felt safe. You know, admitting you have a problem is the first step.
As for help, believe me, I know where to look. My husband is an injured/medically retired veteran; he got messed up in Iraq in 2003. We have resources available, but the process to get help tends to be a tad lengthy, it makes it kind of exhausting to have to keep up with it every day. That, and there are SO MANY people in need, the help is fairly limited now. I do go to the food pantries and the local churches to supplement our food and I am looking for a cheaper place for us to rent... thanks to the fact that my landlords have neglected our basic needs (NOT FIXING THE HEAT) for so long, we can legally break our lease without penalty now. YAY!! As I said before, I just kinda needed to get this crap off my chest. I know at some point things will get better- after all, everything is temporary.

[Aquatica]

I am very happy to hear this and will be an open ear for you, even if you would like to talk via pm I would be more than happy to do this. I have gone through many hard ships and it is good to talk with people about it. I do not like to talk in open chat about it too much.

That is great about the lease breaker....
Right now I have someone who smokes pot bellow me and if I do not close my windows in time it wafts in. I am looking for a loop hole to get out of my lease.
I cannot stand the smell, it plugs me right away.
One of my great escapes in life is costume making and dancing. Love to do anything
Creative to keep the mind on other things some times. Lol

Peace

[Lotus]

Just a thought about your lease- look up your local lease laws specifically your rights as a tenant.... that's what I did.

[Aquatica]

Just a thought about your lease- look up your local lease laws specifically your rights as a tenant.... that's what I did.

So good news, they are moving out. The truck is down there right now loading them up. Yaaaa
oh happy day....oh happy day

[Lotus]

Yay!!!!!